Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
I heard podcasts here more mixed one or two point
three podcasts, playlists and listen live on the free iHeart app.
How are You Max in the Morning? Mixed one or
two point three.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
So we've just been talking about how did you find
out about the birds and the bees? And I was
just telling story about how our ten year old Alfy
found out about the birds and the bees and what
happens with the sticky stuff from Something about Mary. It's
the movie that we sat down as a family and
watched it, and my husband was like, let's just not
fast forward, let's actually watch this and we'll describe what
(00:40):
happens so they know the hairjel scene, that's not hairjel,
it's not hair gel. And so it was awkward and
funny and weird at the same time. But we did it.
We got through it. And the first thing he said
when he saw the sticky stuff in hair hair is,
so do you then get that and mummy eats it?
And that's how you get pregnant and then an option.
Speaker 3 (00:55):
But that's not how you're pregnant.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
It's a hard it's not an option. It's a hard
thing to describe to kids. You don't want to lose
their innocence.
Speaker 3 (01:03):
Even now, it's making you uncomfortable. It's weird thinking about exactly,
and I don't have I was like, you know what,
I can help, and you can help. So we've come
up together with a bit of a well a storybook really.
We've tried to make it nice and maybe at most
PG rated. And you, if you were in this position
like Hayley, you'll be able to play this to your
young inquisitive children and it will.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
Make sense to them because we're using things that they
know of, like nerve guns, the birds, the bees, and
the sticky stuff by Haley and Max.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
Once upon a time there was a mummy and a daddy,
or two mummies and a donor, or two daddies and
a surrogate, or one person identifying as a cat.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
We get it, at least two parties. They love each other.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
And when these people or animals.
Speaker 2 (01:49):
Or animals call them a mum and a dad, you.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
Know what, let's do that, Okay. When this mummy and
daddy love each other very much, they might decide their
love is so great they want to have a baby
so they can grow their love even further.
Speaker 2 (02:02):
Now, on the subject of growing, this will play a
part in how babies are made. In most cases, Daddy's
ding dong is a lot like a NERF gun, except
imagine a NERF gun that shoots three hundred million sticky
darts with each pull of the trigger.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
Mummy has an oven in her tummy where she can
cook up a baby, and one of the most important
ingredients is one of these three hundred million sticky nerve
darts from Daddy.
Speaker 2 (02:28):
And if you want to get one of those darts
in mummy's tummy oven, where do you need to shoot
the gun.
Speaker 1 (02:34):
Well, some people like to eat the sticky darts as
a treat. Other people like to shoot them all over
the place and wipe them up later. But the only
way to make a baby is by aiming the sticky
darts into a well lubricated front door.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
Once a dart finds its way into the oven, Mummy
has to cook it for nine months while Daddy gets
further and further away from the oven door.
Speaker 1 (02:57):
There will come a time where Daddy can only shoot
nerf guns by himself well Mummy is out of the house.
He may even use tissues as target practice.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
After nine months, mummy's oven goes and Mummy often screams
with love and happiness for a few days as the
oven door has its hinges blown off, sometimes with permanent damage,
but it's all worth it because a brand new baby
has been.
Speaker 1 (03:23):
Born, and Mummy and Daddy will look lovingly into each
other's eyes, amazed at what they had created because they
love each other so much.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
The end. They should do that.
Speaker 3 (03:36):
In schools, they will play that in Actually, I'm just
taking a call right now from that giraffe, the giraffe
that goes around in the little caravan, little healthy kids.
Speaker 2 (03:45):
Yes, I'm going to take Yeah, there you go.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
Get that.
Speaker 3 (03:47):
You want to run it everywhere
Speaker 2 (03:50):
Immediately
I heard podcasts here more mixed one or two point
three podcasts, playlists and listen live on the free iHeart app.
How are You Max in the Morning? Mixed one or
two point three.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
So we've just been talking about how did you find
out about the birds and the bees? And I was
just telling story about how our ten year old Alfy
found out about the birds and the bees and what
happens with the sticky stuff from Something about Mary. It's
the movie that we sat down as a family and
watched it, and my husband was like, let's just not
fast forward, let's actually watch this and we'll describe what
(00:40):
happens so they know the hairjel scene, that's not hairjel,
it's not hair gel. And so it was awkward and
funny and weird at the same time. But we did it.
We got through it. And the first thing he said
when he saw the sticky stuff in hair hair is,
so do you then get that and mummy eats it?
And that's how you get pregnant and then an option.
Speaker 3 (00:55):
But that's not how you're pregnant.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
It's a hard it's not an option. It's a hard
thing to describe to kids. You don't want to lose
their innocence.
Speaker 3 (01:03):
Even now, it's making you uncomfortable. It's weird thinking about exactly,
and I don't have I was like, you know what,
I can help, and you can help. So we've come
up together with a bit of a well a storybook really.
We've tried to make it nice and maybe at most
PG rated. And you, if you were in this position
like Hayley, you'll be able to play this to your
young inquisitive children and it will.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
Make sense to them because we're using things that they
know of, like nerve guns, the birds, the bees, and
the sticky stuff by Haley and Max.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
Once upon a time there was a mummy and a daddy,
or two mummies and a donor, or two daddies and
a surrogate, or one person identifying as a cat.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
We get it, at least two parties. They love each other.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
And when these people or animals.
Speaker 2 (01:49):
Or animals call them a mum and a dad, you.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
Know what, let's do that, Okay. When this mummy and
daddy love each other very much, they might decide their
love is so great they want to have a baby
so they can grow their love even further.
Speaker 2 (02:02):
Now, on the subject of growing, this will play a
part in how babies are made. In most cases, Daddy's
ding dong is a lot like a NERF gun, except
imagine a NERF gun that shoots three hundred million sticky
darts with each pull of the trigger.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
Mummy has an oven in her tummy where she can
cook up a baby, and one of the most important
ingredients is one of these three hundred million sticky nerve
darts from Daddy.
Speaker 2 (02:28):
And if you want to get one of those darts
in mummy's tummy oven, where do you need to shoot
the gun.
Speaker 1 (02:34):
Well, some people like to eat the sticky darts as
a treat. Other people like to shoot them all over
the place and wipe them up later. But the only
way to make a baby is by aiming the sticky
darts into a well lubricated front door.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
Once a dart finds its way into the oven, Mummy
has to cook it for nine months while Daddy gets
further and further away from the oven door.
Speaker 1 (02:57):
There will come a time where Daddy can only shoot
nerf guns by himself well Mummy is out of the house.
He may even use tissues as target practice.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
After nine months, mummy's oven goes and Mummy often screams
with love and happiness for a few days as the
oven door has its hinges blown off, sometimes with permanent damage,
but it's all worth it because a brand new baby
has been.
Speaker 1 (03:23):
Born, and Mummy and Daddy will look lovingly into each
other's eyes, amazed at what they had created because they
love each other so much.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
The end. They should do that.
Speaker 3 (03:36):
In schools, they will play that in Actually, I'm just
taking a call right now from that giraffe, the giraffe
that goes around in the little caravan, little healthy kids.
Speaker 2 (03:45):
Yes, I'm going to take Yeah, there you go.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
Get that.
Speaker 3 (03:47):
You want to run it everywhere
Speaker 2 (03:50):
Immediately
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