Hayley Shares Why She Is On Anxiety Medication

Hayley Shares Why She Is On Anxiety Medication

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:10):
My Heart podcasts here more mix one or two point
three podcasts, playlists and listen live on the free iHeart app.
Special edition of the Wall of Truth this week, Adelaida,
you get to decide what we answer. It's heavy hitting
questions from you. You can get us on Facebook, you
can get us on Instagram. You can call us there
only one or two three anytime we put.

Speaker 2 (00:29):
Chloe in Highbrie on the phone.

Speaker 1 (00:31):
Who do you want to ask a question of?

Speaker 2 (00:33):
First of all my questions for Haley.

Speaker 1 (00:36):
Okay, hit Hailey with your question in the Wall of Truth.

Speaker 2 (00:39):
So obviously you know we listen to you every morning.
Lots of folly on Instagram as well. You do seem
like you have this pretty cool life perfect. I want
to know what's the one thing that you don't like
about yourself?

Speaker 1 (00:52):
Oh ah, is there anything?

Speaker 2 (00:54):
There's a lot of things, all right, I'll tell you
what I don't like about myself. I moved away from
home at twenty three, and I was before then so carefree.
I was like the best version of Hailey. I did
not think about death at all. I didn't worry about anything.
Is just so carefree and happy. I'd never experienced any
chum room in my life at all. And then I
moved away to Queensland, and I remember my first year

(01:16):
of living away, my dad calls me and says my
uncle had been killed in a car accident. And that
moment for me was so pivotal that it completely changed.
It's almost like it changed by chemical.

Speaker 1 (01:28):
Makeup for innocence.

Speaker 2 (01:29):
Yeah, yeah, I walked through this door. I shut the door,
and I was never the same again. And I wish
I could go back to that point and be the
old Haley. But from then on, my brain has been
so riddled with anxiety about bad things happening to my family.
This is the reason I'm on zoloft. Zoloft is an antidepressant,

(01:49):
because yeah, because I worry, and because I am a
really creative person. Like my brain is like one hundred
percent creative.

Speaker 1 (01:58):
And it goes in million miles an hour.

Speaker 2 (01:59):
I see things, I hear things, I smell things that
are actually like I come up with scenarios on my
head that haven't happened. I'll give you one example is
when the boys were little, I reckon they'll probably like
one in four and my husband was off surfing and
I used to panic the drive down the drive back
and in the water. I would panic that he would
die like sharks sharks, and then the car accident, and

(02:21):
so I would be at home and I remember this
one moment. I was home with the boys. It was
a Saturday morning, and I saw these two men walking
towards where he used to have a front door with
like the window panels. And I could see these two
men coming towards the front door, and I was like
in my head, thinking, this is my worst nightmare. These
are the policemen and they're coming to tell me that
Jimmy's being found. Ye. And so as I'm walking towards

(02:45):
the door, my whole body, I feel my whole body
go into the shop and I fell to the floor.

Speaker 1 (02:50):
He had no reason to think this.

Speaker 2 (02:51):
No reason other than just seeing two men come to
the door, open the door. It was it was Mormons
on a Saturday morning. Like it was literally Mormons selling
the bike. But thank god. I was like, I'm so
happy that it's you and not cops, but that except
your Bible. Happy to hear it, sign me up. But

(03:12):
that's my brain. I've seen a psychologist about it. I've
tried to be hypnotized for it. I'm definitely heaps better
than what I was, but I worry. That's why I
have life three sixty and I follow my kids everywhere.
I follow my husband, my parents, the people that I
care about, because the bigger the love, the bigger the loss,
and I'm so scared of losing people that I love.

Speaker 1 (03:31):
There you go.

Speaker 2 (03:32):
So if I could change anything about myself, it's that
I wish I could change that part of my brain
that worries, and I wish I could be pre Hailey
twenty three years old,