August 26, 2025 • 14 mins
Solo Moms On The Rise: A Candid Conversation
Have you ever considered becoming a solo mom? This eye-opening episode features raw, vulnerable stories from women who decided to start a family on their own. From heart-wrenching regrets to empowering triumphs, their journeys illuminate the challenges and joys of solo motherhood. Whether you're a hopeful parent weighing your options or simply curious, their unfiltered perspectives will give you a lot to think about. In this candid episode, the hosts chat with Sophie, a single woman who became a mum via IVF using a sperm donor. She shares her motivations, considerations, and the reactions she faced. Another caller Kate deeply loves her kids but regrets doing it solo, detailing how much harder it is without a partner. Then there’s Cathy who started having babies at 19 by purposefully getting pregnant, wild! Their stories reveal solo motherhood is far from easy but can absolutely be rewarding.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
My Heart podcasts here more mixed one or two point
three podcasts, playlists and listen live on the free iHeart app.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
I want to talk about solo moms and that they
are on the rise and I love this. The National
Fertility Registry has shown that one in ten IVF cycles
involve single females wanting to be a solo mum, going
I haven't met my partner, I want to be a mum.
I don't want this opportunity taken away from me. So
I'm just going to take it into my own hands
(00:38):
and I'm going to get a sperm donor and I'm
going to do it myself.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
And there's a whole bunch of stats around the sperm donors,
so it appears that most of them.
Speaker 3 (00:44):
Are growing rapidly.
Speaker 1 (00:45):
But about sixty percent of the sperm donations for single
women in like around Australia over the last year or so.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
Yeah, And I love that because that would be such
a challenging situation to be at a certain age. And unfortunately,
the stupid clock is real. And for whatever reason you've
got in your heart. I don't know if men have this,
but I know women do. If you do want to
have a baby, You've got that inside you and it
doesn't go away.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
We could talk hypothetically about it and how it would
all feel, or we could speak to someone who's done
exactly this, Sophie mate in Parkside. Hey, so can you
tell everyone at home about your little journey that you
decided to go on a few years ago?
Speaker 4 (01:26):
Hi, guys, thanks for having me on. Well, you've basically
nailed it with what you said so far. I've always
known that I wanted to be a mum and my
dream was to have a family. But unfortunately the right
relationships just didn't come along at the right time, and
I found out that I had some fertility issues and
I had a tough decision to make. So at the time,
I just remember thinking, well, you can meet somebody at
(01:47):
any age. Look at Rupert Murdock.
Speaker 3 (01:50):
Helps if you're a billionaire. Yeah I'm not.
Speaker 4 (01:55):
You know, I didn't have all the time in the
world to have a baby and have a family of
my own, so I had a tough decision, but with
the love and support of my family, I decided to
go down the path of IBS, which I acknowledge is
a really pretty thing to be able to do. It
is a financial hardship. But you know, I'm sitting here
one year later with a beautiful daughter and I'm luck here.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
Did anyone, you know, assuming you've asked your parents and
your friends and things like that, what they think, did
anyone say it's not a good idea?
Speaker 5 (02:26):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (02:27):
Look, at the time, one of the biggest things that
was a deterrent was worrying about what people would think.
People would think about what I'm doing, what they think
would mean about me. And look, I certainly did face
some difficult questions and I had some comments like, oh, well,
you've clearly given up. But my thought at the time
was I haven't given up on finding someone. I just
don't want to miss out on my chance to become
(02:49):
a mother. Yeah, topefully one day I will meet my partner,
But you know, I've gotten what my ultimate dream was,
and that was, yeah, to have a beautiful baby, And yeah,
I am so lucky.
Speaker 3 (03:00):
So I know you, and I know that you're a catch.
Speaker 1 (03:02):
I want to know before before you went down this
path and you're in those last sort of six months
or the year before, you're like, you know what I'm
doing it, I'm diving in. Were those meeting every bloke. Then,
were you like, I'm on a time frame. Is this
someone that could have my child instantly?
Speaker 4 (03:20):
Look, I think that's an unfortunate reality of dating at
a certain age, and it's so not sexy. It's not
what you want to be doing when you're out there
in the dating world. And that's why I just made
the decision to put it on pause, focus on, you know,
what I wanted to do, particularly when I knew that
there was that ticking clock. And like I said, you
can always revisit it later. But yeah, it just sucks.
(03:40):
It's this part of long day dating that that does
become a reality as you get older.
Speaker 2 (03:45):
So was one of the biggest challenges for you, going Okay,
so if I have a baby, I'm going to have
to have time off, but I don't have my spouse
to earn money while I'm having time off. How did
that work?
Speaker 1 (03:55):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (03:56):
Absolutely, And you know, the cost of living crisis is
real for everyone. And I was really fortunate that I
started thinking about this a while ago. You know, I've
been single for a while. I wasn't really meeting anyone
that I could imagine sharing a life with and sharing
a baby with. So I started saving and I started
planning ahead and when the time came, you know, I
(04:16):
was ready. And yeah, it's not a quick decision that
you just leap into. And I think we're really lucky
that in Australia we have a government that is just
starting to improve you know, the supports around people taking
parental leave, and I certainly benefited from that. And yeah,
you support it work as well as you work somewhere
with parentally provision.
Speaker 2 (04:37):
I love what you've just said, and with so much
warmth and heart, that's just maybe go. If I was
in your position, I do exactly the same thing.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
Sophy before we let you go. Is this something that
you would recommend for everyone in your position or does
it only work if you tick some certain boxes?
Speaker 4 (04:52):
Look, it is hard that I think as women you
can do hard things and all you really need is
the love and support of a really good community around you.
I've made some amazing friends as a mum, and yeah,
my family has been absolutely amazing. But if you're at
all discerned about what's involved, my top TID would be
making a pointment with your GP. Find out where you're
(05:14):
at with your health and your facility, and then go
from there and It's not a quick process, but just
take a step and find out more. And yeah, there's
a lot of misconceptions around being a solo mum. I'm
not a spinster hating on men.
Speaker 6 (05:31):
Yet.
Speaker 1 (05:32):
That's it.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
Thank you so much for sharing. That was so delightful
to have you on our show.
Speaker 3 (05:40):
Thank you, Sophie.
Speaker 2 (05:41):
Can I say as well before we get to calls,
it's probably a fair call to say that some moms
out there, you know, they go, I couldn't do it.
But a lot of mums are solo parenting and they
have a husband as in they do everything. Like I'm
not saying everybody does this at all, because there's so
many amazing, great dads out there, but sometimes you'd actually
find out if you take away everything, you're doing most of.
Speaker 3 (06:01):
The stuff, but you do a second salary.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
That is probably the biggest challenge.
Speaker 1 (06:05):
I reckon nice to have a second salary looking after
a kid. We're going to know from you thirty one
two three, Adelaide. Is this something that you have tried
or you want to try? Are you in the throes
of this right now? Is it the best decision you
ever made? Is it the worst decision you ever made?
Speaker 2 (06:21):
I think anyone's going to say that. It might be
no one regrets to having a kid, do they?
Speaker 3 (06:26):
I reckon there are people that regret having kids, No way.
Speaker 7 (06:29):
Kate in Golden Growth, good morning. Can you tell us
about your experience as a solo mum.
Speaker 5 (06:35):
Well, I heard this and I had to give you
a call because I'm going to sound ungrateful, but I
regret it. Don't be wrong. Don't get me wrong. I
love my children. It's not that I don't love my children,
love them to death. But before doing it, you have
this greend picture of how great life's going to because
you de justperately want kids. But doing it solo, there's
(06:58):
so many things to consider.
Speaker 6 (07:00):
I e.
Speaker 5 (07:01):
I have to work. I'm a single wage. School holidays
and a nightmare trying to find babysitters. And just because
I only get four weeks going on holidays, I've got
to work twice as hard to stay for a holiday
because there's only one wage, getting up in the mornings,
getting to work, like everything is so much harder. And
I know I did it by choice, but I applaud
(07:24):
any single parent. Yeah, because it is so hard Yaka,
can I.
Speaker 2 (07:28):
Just clarify you don't regret having children.
Speaker 5 (07:32):
Not at all, Not at all. My kids are the
best thing in my life.
Speaker 2 (07:35):
Okay, but you regret doing it by yourself.
Speaker 5 (07:37):
One hundred percent. Because I waited so long for mister Wright,
he never came, and I desperately wanted kids. So a
best friend donated and I was able to have my kids.
Speaker 3 (07:46):
No.
Speaker 5 (07:46):
Yes, However, finding someone now who either already has kids
so they don't want the Brady bunch, or because I'm
older now they don't want kids. It's even hard to
find someone now. So I feel like this is my
life and I've got to learn to live with him now.
Speaker 1 (08:01):
Kids that you have are blocking you from getting a
new bloger anyway.
Speaker 5 (08:05):
Thanks a lot your cop bloggers.
Speaker 2 (08:11):
In the background, I said, Mom, can you think that's
the worst part about being a solo lum?
Speaker 5 (08:20):
I do not hate my life, but I just I
feel like had I met mister Wright and I would
have been doing it with a partner. I look at
some of my friends who have a great relationship they share.
But Mike, if your play sport, I have to ask
people in all their teams to take them. I got
three kids on my own, and so I'm relying on
two sport members of the other teams while I take
(08:42):
one and we rotate it, so I get to watch
all three.
Speaker 1 (08:44):
Did you think after the first one and realizing how
difficult that was, that maybe you should put it away.
Speaker 5 (08:49):
Yeah, but you know, the silly thing is he my
first was a boy, and he was so beautiful that.
Speaker 3 (08:53):
I thought, oh, this is easy.
Speaker 5 (08:54):
I've got to go again. And then they got along
so well because it's only eighteen months between them, so
I thought, oh, okay, I'll go one more time.
Speaker 3 (09:01):
And it's not.
Speaker 5 (09:02):
But it's not until school and the things like that
where you struggle.
Speaker 2 (09:06):
One bit of advice. If someone's in there right now
thinking I want to be a solo mom, I want
to do this. I haven't met mister right what advice
to give them?
Speaker 5 (09:15):
Look Like I said, I don't regret my kids, but
just sit down and definitely write down the pros and
coins and not just the early stages.
Speaker 6 (09:21):
I e.
Speaker 5 (09:22):
You know, if do you want them to do sport,
if you want to go on holidays, consider everything before
you jump in.
Speaker 1 (09:29):
It's a matter of knowing that that, yeah, that's true
to the mouthy coast that you wanted to have in
three years time's probably not happening anymore.
Speaker 5 (09:35):
Look, I've been saving for America for about six years.
Guys will get there eventually.
Speaker 1 (09:39):
You're getting joy out of other areas.
Speaker 5 (09:43):
Exactly watching their sport like, there's so many positives as well.
But it'd be so lovely to share it with someone,
because my picture was have the kids meet someone and
share them with my new man. And even that's been hard.
Speaker 2 (09:54):
But I just you're doing an amazing job being a mom. Kate,
well done. That's off to you.
Speaker 5 (09:58):
My kids are still alive, guys.
Speaker 3 (10:00):
We can hear them in the background when you swore
at them too.
Speaker 5 (10:05):
Thank god for iPads. Thanks guy.
Speaker 7 (10:10):
All right, Kathy, what are your thoughts on this?
Speaker 4 (10:12):
Hi?
Speaker 6 (10:13):
I created my own family on my own and raised
four kids on my own.
Speaker 2 (10:17):
Four Oh my gosh, how old were you when you started?
Speaker 6 (10:21):
I started at nineteen and finished up with four kids
by twenty eight?
Speaker 1 (10:25):
Taddy, Did you not think I've still got plenty of
time to find a man here or you just thought,
you know what, I don't need a man.
Speaker 3 (10:31):
I don't want a man.
Speaker 6 (10:33):
I just put it this way. I was very unlucky
in love.
Speaker 2 (10:35):
Okay, but only at nineteen to realize that everyone's unlucky
in love at nineteen.
Speaker 6 (10:41):
I don't know. I think genetically. I just knew my
clock was sticking, and I thought, let's get going, and
I'm just as well I did. Yeah, I'm glad I did.
Speaker 3 (10:50):
Okay, Kathy, how'd you do it? Was it ivy?
Speaker 6 (10:53):
No? I no, I was ahead of my time. I
did it before that. It was called go to the pub,
look at what's healthy, and go for it.
Speaker 2 (11:02):
Hang on to these Do the dads know that they're dads?
Speaker 6 (11:06):
Eventually?
Speaker 1 (11:08):
God, Kathy, Oh my gosh, you went to the pub
for the purpose of meeting a guy and going I'm
going to baby with you.
Speaker 6 (11:16):
Oh well, I thought, if I feel pregnant, I fell pregnant.
If I don't, I don't. It was a bit like
Russian Roulette.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
I'm ovulating, Let's go to the havelock, did you.
Speaker 6 (11:24):
Yeah, I've learned. I'd read up and learned about ovulation
and fertility and all that, and yep, I've got my
cycle right.
Speaker 3 (11:31):
Ah, have sony questions?
Speaker 1 (11:32):
Did you have any intention of having the men involved
or was it purely I want to have a kid
and I just need you.
Speaker 6 (11:38):
No, I just wanted to create my own family, for
someone to love and to love me, and that was it.
I was an only child and I never wanted to
have just one child on you how lonely it was.
Speaker 2 (11:47):
Are they all different dads?
Speaker 5 (11:48):
Yep?
Speaker 3 (11:49):
Do they know?
Speaker 6 (11:50):
Yeah? When ancestry DNA came out, I was like, oh, no,
I'm stuffed.
Speaker 3 (11:57):
How do I feel about this? Do I feel okay
about this?
Speaker 6 (12:00):
I told them yeah absolutely. When they were older and
one of them had and said, oh, I've done an
ancestry DNA test, I was shaken in my boots because
I told him the truth. And when he said, oh,
I found out who my dad was, I was like, oh, cool,
who is it.
Speaker 7 (12:16):
Did you ever hear from any of the men who
got angry at you for this?
Speaker 6 (12:20):
No? Actually they were pretty cool about it though, like, hey,
it was the eighties. It was all kind of free
love and.
Speaker 2 (12:24):
All that kind of did you use protection.
Speaker 6 (12:29):
Pregnant? No?
Speaker 2 (12:30):
But did you sorry? Did you say to him, let's
not use protection?
Speaker 6 (12:34):
Well, it was the eighties, No one wanted to use protection.
It was only just then when the grim reaperads just
started coming out, and guys like yeah, but back then
it was only targeted towards some gay guys, so heterosexuals
were considered still pretty safe.
Speaker 1 (12:52):
Oh, Kathy is, how do you feel as a guy, Max,
I think I'm deciding I don't mind anymore, because as
long as Kathy hasn't said I'm trapping you, now I've
got you and I want money from you or anything.
Speaker 6 (13:07):
And I absolutely didn't want anything from that creed to
have my own children and to raise my little family
and have their little happy Friday night pizza nights and
video nights, and.
Speaker 2 (13:20):
Oh my god, I'm so blown away. If that was
the reverse though, imagine that was a woman.
Speaker 3 (13:24):
Thank you, Kathy. What a story. Oh my god.
Speaker 6 (13:27):
So I just by past I yef and all the
costs of it, that was all.
Speaker 2 (13:30):
He's cheaper.
Speaker 3 (13:31):
It's way cheaper. Absolutely want just turned around.
Speaker 6 (13:38):
But yeah, and when they did finally find their fathers,
the guys were like, yeah, cool, radio. Well, she never
asked for money, She never asked for nothing from me.
So but I've got this incredible young adult in front
of me. Who yeh, you know, science says your mind.
Speaker 3 (13:52):
Thank you, Kathy, what a story.
Speaker 2 (13:54):
That's amazing.
Speaker 1 (13:55):
I think I am okay with it, because if you
think about it, it's just sperm donation, but you've had
the fun of donating it with someone and as so
as they don't want anything to do with you, which
she said, I don't want.
Speaker 3 (14:06):
That's cool. I don't know.
Speaker 2 (14:07):
I'm not aware that it's a speed donation.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
As a man, you know you're donating sperm. When you're
donating sperm.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
Yeah, but you don't think you're doing it for the
purpose of a baby, do you.
Speaker 7 (14:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (14:15):
But I don't feel like she trapped any of them.
She's just like, that's cool.
Speaker 7 (14:18):
I went out.
Speaker 2 (14:19):
No, but as if I was a woman, I would
feel emotional connection to the child. I think it's different
for guys. It's a very weird story, but I love it.
Speaker 1 (14:27):
Said to you previously, if some of my best mates
asked for a donation, are you happy to what?
Speaker 7 (14:31):
Do I care?
Speaker 3 (14:32):
You can have it?
Speaker 1 (14:33):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (14:33):
I think we've got on different minds for that, because
I'd be like, oh, but I'd love the baby.
Speaker 3 (14:37):
Yeah. I just know you're going to treat it well.
She's a nice gal. Yeah, she is nice.
Speaker 6 (14:41):
I love that
My Heart podcasts here more mixed one or two point
three podcasts, playlists and listen live on the free iHeart app.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
I want to talk about solo moms and that they
are on the rise and I love this. The National
Fertility Registry has shown that one in ten IVF cycles
involve single females wanting to be a solo mum, going
I haven't met my partner, I want to be a mum.
I don't want this opportunity taken away from me. So
I'm just going to take it into my own hands
(00:38):
and I'm going to get a sperm donor and I'm
going to do it myself.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
And there's a whole bunch of stats around the sperm donors,
so it appears that most of them.
Speaker 3 (00:44):
Are growing rapidly.
Speaker 1 (00:45):
But about sixty percent of the sperm donations for single
women in like around Australia over the last year or so.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
Yeah, And I love that because that would be such
a challenging situation to be at a certain age. And unfortunately,
the stupid clock is real. And for whatever reason you've
got in your heart. I don't know if men have this,
but I know women do. If you do want to
have a baby, You've got that inside you and it
doesn't go away.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
We could talk hypothetically about it and how it would
all feel, or we could speak to someone who's done
exactly this, Sophie mate in Parkside. Hey, so can you
tell everyone at home about your little journey that you
decided to go on a few years ago?
Speaker 4 (01:26):
Hi, guys, thanks for having me on. Well, you've basically
nailed it with what you said so far. I've always
known that I wanted to be a mum and my
dream was to have a family. But unfortunately the right
relationships just didn't come along at the right time, and
I found out that I had some fertility issues and
I had a tough decision to make. So at the time,
I just remember thinking, well, you can meet somebody at
(01:47):
any age. Look at Rupert Murdock.
Speaker 3 (01:50):
Helps if you're a billionaire. Yeah I'm not.
Speaker 4 (01:55):
You know, I didn't have all the time in the
world to have a baby and have a family of
my own, so I had a tough decision, but with
the love and support of my family, I decided to
go down the path of IBS, which I acknowledge is
a really pretty thing to be able to do. It
is a financial hardship. But you know, I'm sitting here
one year later with a beautiful daughter and I'm luck here.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
Did anyone, you know, assuming you've asked your parents and
your friends and things like that, what they think, did
anyone say it's not a good idea?
Speaker 5 (02:26):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (02:27):
Look, at the time, one of the biggest things that
was a deterrent was worrying about what people would think.
People would think about what I'm doing, what they think
would mean about me. And look, I certainly did face
some difficult questions and I had some comments like, oh, well,
you've clearly given up. But my thought at the time
was I haven't given up on finding someone. I just
don't want to miss out on my chance to become
(02:49):
a mother. Yeah, topefully one day I will meet my partner,
But you know, I've gotten what my ultimate dream was,
and that was, yeah, to have a beautiful baby, And yeah,
I am so lucky.
Speaker 3 (03:00):
So I know you, and I know that you're a catch.
Speaker 1 (03:02):
I want to know before before you went down this
path and you're in those last sort of six months
or the year before, you're like, you know what I'm
doing it, I'm diving in. Were those meeting every bloke. Then,
were you like, I'm on a time frame. Is this
someone that could have my child instantly?
Speaker 4 (03:20):
Look, I think that's an unfortunate reality of dating at
a certain age, and it's so not sexy. It's not
what you want to be doing when you're out there
in the dating world. And that's why I just made
the decision to put it on pause, focus on, you know,
what I wanted to do, particularly when I knew that
there was that ticking clock. And like I said, you
can always revisit it later. But yeah, it just sucks.
(03:40):
It's this part of long day dating that that does
become a reality as you get older.
Speaker 2 (03:45):
So was one of the biggest challenges for you, going Okay,
so if I have a baby, I'm going to have
to have time off, but I don't have my spouse
to earn money while I'm having time off. How did
that work?
Speaker 1 (03:55):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (03:56):
Absolutely, And you know, the cost of living crisis is
real for everyone. And I was really fortunate that I
started thinking about this a while ago. You know, I've
been single for a while. I wasn't really meeting anyone
that I could imagine sharing a life with and sharing
a baby with. So I started saving and I started
planning ahead and when the time came, you know, I
(04:16):
was ready. And yeah, it's not a quick decision that
you just leap into. And I think we're really lucky
that in Australia we have a government that is just
starting to improve you know, the supports around people taking
parental leave, and I certainly benefited from that. And yeah,
you support it work as well as you work somewhere
with parentally provision.
Speaker 2 (04:37):
I love what you've just said, and with so much
warmth and heart, that's just maybe go. If I was
in your position, I do exactly the same thing.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
Sophy before we let you go. Is this something that
you would recommend for everyone in your position or does
it only work if you tick some certain boxes?
Speaker 4 (04:52):
Look, it is hard that I think as women you
can do hard things and all you really need is
the love and support of a really good community around you.
I've made some amazing friends as a mum, and yeah,
my family has been absolutely amazing. But if you're at
all discerned about what's involved, my top TID would be
making a pointment with your GP. Find out where you're
(05:14):
at with your health and your facility, and then go
from there and It's not a quick process, but just
take a step and find out more. And yeah, there's
a lot of misconceptions around being a solo mum. I'm
not a spinster hating on men.
Speaker 6 (05:31):
Yet.
Speaker 1 (05:32):
That's it.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
Thank you so much for sharing. That was so delightful
to have you on our show.
Speaker 3 (05:40):
Thank you, Sophie.
Speaker 2 (05:41):
Can I say as well before we get to calls,
it's probably a fair call to say that some moms
out there, you know, they go, I couldn't do it.
But a lot of mums are solo parenting and they
have a husband as in they do everything. Like I'm
not saying everybody does this at all, because there's so
many amazing, great dads out there, but sometimes you'd actually
find out if you take away everything, you're doing most of.
Speaker 3 (06:01):
The stuff, but you do a second salary.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
That is probably the biggest challenge.
Speaker 1 (06:05):
I reckon nice to have a second salary looking after
a kid. We're going to know from you thirty one
two three, Adelaide. Is this something that you have tried
or you want to try? Are you in the throes
of this right now? Is it the best decision you
ever made? Is it the worst decision you ever made?
Speaker 2 (06:21):
I think anyone's going to say that. It might be
no one regrets to having a kid, do they?
Speaker 3 (06:26):
I reckon there are people that regret having kids, No way.
Speaker 7 (06:29):
Kate in Golden Growth, good morning. Can you tell us
about your experience as a solo mum.
Speaker 5 (06:35):
Well, I heard this and I had to give you
a call because I'm going to sound ungrateful, but I
regret it. Don't be wrong. Don't get me wrong. I
love my children. It's not that I don't love my children,
love them to death. But before doing it, you have
this greend picture of how great life's going to because
you de justperately want kids. But doing it solo, there's
(06:58):
so many things to consider.
Speaker 6 (07:00):
I e.
Speaker 5 (07:01):
I have to work. I'm a single wage. School holidays
and a nightmare trying to find babysitters. And just because
I only get four weeks going on holidays, I've got
to work twice as hard to stay for a holiday
because there's only one wage, getting up in the mornings,
getting to work, like everything is so much harder. And
I know I did it by choice, but I applaud
(07:24):
any single parent. Yeah, because it is so hard Yaka,
can I.
Speaker 2 (07:28):
Just clarify you don't regret having children.
Speaker 5 (07:32):
Not at all, Not at all. My kids are the
best thing in my life.
Speaker 2 (07:35):
Okay, but you regret doing it by yourself.
Speaker 5 (07:37):
One hundred percent. Because I waited so long for mister Wright,
he never came, and I desperately wanted kids. So a
best friend donated and I was able to have my kids.
Speaker 3 (07:46):
No.
Speaker 5 (07:46):
Yes, However, finding someone now who either already has kids
so they don't want the Brady bunch, or because I'm
older now they don't want kids. It's even hard to
find someone now. So I feel like this is my
life and I've got to learn to live with him now.
Speaker 1 (08:01):
Kids that you have are blocking you from getting a
new bloger anyway.
Speaker 5 (08:05):
Thanks a lot your cop bloggers.
Speaker 2 (08:11):
In the background, I said, Mom, can you think that's
the worst part about being a solo lum?
Speaker 5 (08:20):
I do not hate my life, but I just I
feel like had I met mister Wright and I would
have been doing it with a partner. I look at
some of my friends who have a great relationship they share.
But Mike, if your play sport, I have to ask
people in all their teams to take them. I got
three kids on my own, and so I'm relying on
two sport members of the other teams while I take
(08:42):
one and we rotate it, so I get to watch
all three.
Speaker 1 (08:44):
Did you think after the first one and realizing how
difficult that was, that maybe you should put it away.
Speaker 5 (08:49):
Yeah, but you know, the silly thing is he my
first was a boy, and he was so beautiful that.
Speaker 3 (08:53):
I thought, oh, this is easy.
Speaker 5 (08:54):
I've got to go again. And then they got along
so well because it's only eighteen months between them, so
I thought, oh, okay, I'll go one more time.
Speaker 3 (09:01):
And it's not.
Speaker 5 (09:02):
But it's not until school and the things like that
where you struggle.
Speaker 2 (09:06):
One bit of advice. If someone's in there right now
thinking I want to be a solo mom, I want
to do this. I haven't met mister right what advice
to give them?
Speaker 5 (09:15):
Look Like I said, I don't regret my kids, but
just sit down and definitely write down the pros and
coins and not just the early stages.
Speaker 6 (09:21):
I e.
Speaker 5 (09:22):
You know, if do you want them to do sport,
if you want to go on holidays, consider everything before
you jump in.
Speaker 1 (09:29):
It's a matter of knowing that that, yeah, that's true
to the mouthy coast that you wanted to have in
three years time's probably not happening anymore.
Speaker 5 (09:35):
Look, I've been saving for America for about six years.
Guys will get there eventually.
Speaker 1 (09:39):
You're getting joy out of other areas.
Speaker 5 (09:43):
Exactly watching their sport like, there's so many positives as well.
But it'd be so lovely to share it with someone,
because my picture was have the kids meet someone and
share them with my new man. And even that's been hard.
Speaker 2 (09:54):
But I just you're doing an amazing job being a mom. Kate,
well done. That's off to you.
Speaker 5 (09:58):
My kids are still alive, guys.
Speaker 3 (10:00):
We can hear them in the background when you swore
at them too.
Speaker 5 (10:05):
Thank god for iPads. Thanks guy.
Speaker 7 (10:10):
All right, Kathy, what are your thoughts on this?
Speaker 4 (10:12):
Hi?
Speaker 6 (10:13):
I created my own family on my own and raised
four kids on my own.
Speaker 2 (10:17):
Four Oh my gosh, how old were you when you started?
Speaker 6 (10:21):
I started at nineteen and finished up with four kids
by twenty eight?
Speaker 1 (10:25):
Taddy, Did you not think I've still got plenty of
time to find a man here or you just thought,
you know what, I don't need a man.
Speaker 3 (10:31):
I don't want a man.
Speaker 6 (10:33):
I just put it this way. I was very unlucky
in love.
Speaker 2 (10:35):
Okay, but only at nineteen to realize that everyone's unlucky
in love at nineteen.
Speaker 6 (10:41):
I don't know. I think genetically. I just knew my
clock was sticking, and I thought, let's get going, and
I'm just as well I did. Yeah, I'm glad I did.
Speaker 3 (10:50):
Okay, Kathy, how'd you do it? Was it ivy?
Speaker 6 (10:53):
No? I no, I was ahead of my time. I
did it before that. It was called go to the pub,
look at what's healthy, and go for it.
Speaker 2 (11:02):
Hang on to these Do the dads know that they're dads?
Speaker 6 (11:06):
Eventually?
Speaker 1 (11:08):
God, Kathy, Oh my gosh, you went to the pub
for the purpose of meeting a guy and going I'm
going to baby with you.
Speaker 6 (11:16):
Oh well, I thought, if I feel pregnant, I fell pregnant.
If I don't, I don't. It was a bit like
Russian Roulette.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
I'm ovulating, Let's go to the havelock, did you.
Speaker 6 (11:24):
Yeah, I've learned. I'd read up and learned about ovulation
and fertility and all that, and yep, I've got my
cycle right.
Speaker 3 (11:31):
Ah, have sony questions?
Speaker 1 (11:32):
Did you have any intention of having the men involved
or was it purely I want to have a kid
and I just need you.
Speaker 6 (11:38):
No, I just wanted to create my own family, for
someone to love and to love me, and that was it.
I was an only child and I never wanted to
have just one child on you how lonely it was.
Speaker 2 (11:47):
Are they all different dads?
Speaker 5 (11:48):
Yep?
Speaker 3 (11:49):
Do they know?
Speaker 6 (11:50):
Yeah? When ancestry DNA came out, I was like, oh, no,
I'm stuffed.
Speaker 3 (11:57):
How do I feel about this? Do I feel okay
about this?
Speaker 6 (12:00):
I told them yeah absolutely. When they were older and
one of them had and said, oh, I've done an
ancestry DNA test, I was shaken in my boots because
I told him the truth. And when he said, oh,
I found out who my dad was, I was like, oh, cool,
who is it.
Speaker 7 (12:16):
Did you ever hear from any of the men who
got angry at you for this?
Speaker 6 (12:20):
No? Actually they were pretty cool about it though, like, hey,
it was the eighties. It was all kind of free
love and.
Speaker 2 (12:24):
All that kind of did you use protection.
Speaker 6 (12:29):
Pregnant? No?
Speaker 2 (12:30):
But did you sorry? Did you say to him, let's
not use protection?
Speaker 6 (12:34):
Well, it was the eighties, No one wanted to use protection.
It was only just then when the grim reaperads just
started coming out, and guys like yeah, but back then
it was only targeted towards some gay guys, so heterosexuals
were considered still pretty safe.
Speaker 1 (12:52):
Oh, Kathy is, how do you feel as a guy, Max,
I think I'm deciding I don't mind anymore, because as
long as Kathy hasn't said I'm trapping you, now I've
got you and I want money from you or anything.
Speaker 6 (13:07):
And I absolutely didn't want anything from that creed to
have my own children and to raise my little family
and have their little happy Friday night pizza nights and
video nights, and.
Speaker 2 (13:20):
Oh my god, I'm so blown away. If that was
the reverse though, imagine that was a woman.
Speaker 3 (13:24):
Thank you, Kathy. What a story. Oh my god.
Speaker 6 (13:27):
So I just by past I yef and all the
costs of it, that was all.
Speaker 2 (13:30):
He's cheaper.
Speaker 3 (13:31):
It's way cheaper. Absolutely want just turned around.
Speaker 6 (13:38):
But yeah, and when they did finally find their fathers,
the guys were like, yeah, cool, radio. Well, she never
asked for money, She never asked for nothing from me.
So but I've got this incredible young adult in front
of me. Who yeh, you know, science says your mind.
Speaker 3 (13:52):
Thank you, Kathy, what a story.
Speaker 2 (13:54):
That's amazing.
Speaker 1 (13:55):
I think I am okay with it, because if you
think about it, it's just sperm donation, but you've had
the fun of donating it with someone and as so
as they don't want anything to do with you, which
she said, I don't want.
Speaker 3 (14:06):
That's cool. I don't know.
Speaker 2 (14:07):
I'm not aware that it's a speed donation.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
As a man, you know you're donating sperm. When you're
donating sperm.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
Yeah, but you don't think you're doing it for the
purpose of a baby, do you.
Speaker 7 (14:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (14:15):
But I don't feel like she trapped any of them.
She's just like, that's cool.
Speaker 7 (14:18):
I went out.
Speaker 2 (14:19):
No, but as if I was a woman, I would
feel emotional connection to the child. I think it's different
for guys. It's a very weird story, but I love it.
Speaker 1 (14:27):
Said to you previously, if some of my best mates
asked for a donation, are you happy to what?
Speaker 7 (14:31):
Do I care?
Speaker 3 (14:32):
You can have it?
Speaker 1 (14:33):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (14:33):
I think we've got on different minds for that, because
I'd be like, oh, but I'd love the baby.
Speaker 3 (14:37):
Yeah. I just know you're going to treat it well.
She's a nice gal. Yeah, she is nice.
Speaker 6 (14:41):
I love that
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