Rogue Rat Is Crushing Max's Soul!

A rat has found it's way into Max's home and no matter what Max tries, he just can't catch it!

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
That's always been. That's what this show's been known for.
Rat updates Wednesday morning.

Speaker 2 (00:07):
Well, your Thursday rat update is for those of you
that missed the Wednesday rat update, because we did have
one of those as well.

Speaker 1 (00:13):
We have a rat in our house which we saw
some little droppings.

Speaker 2 (00:18):
We'd seen it around, and then yesterday morning, I woke up,
I went downstairs, I shine my little iPhone torch on
top of the blinds at the back door, and I
could see this big old bastard just sitting there, looking
right at me, not moving, gloating about the fact that
he'd eaten half of a bloody crumpet off of the bench.

(00:40):
Las is going to eat a breakfast later on. There's
a big chunk taken out of the crumpet. This rat
is taunting us, right.

Speaker 3 (00:47):
So when we left yesterday, you had put in phone
calls off here to your dad. You had all this
sort of stuff. I said, how are you going? Are
you going to be right with this rat? And you said, yeah, yeah, naha,
someone's just send to me. Oh, come over and take
care of it.

Speaker 1 (00:59):
Gavin, take care.

Speaker 2 (01:00):
Yeah, Because yesterday the way that works, I woke Elasa
up at four point thirty when I was leaving the
house to come here. She poked it with a broom.
I ushered it with a blanket. We put it in
the laundry. There are no bloody holes in this laundry.

Speaker 3 (01:12):
Did Auntie Allie say.

Speaker 2 (01:14):
Said, it'll find a way to go out. I said,
what's it going to go through a crack at the door?
Apparently they go through cracks indoors. I walk downstairs this morning,
more ratpool on the ground like this bastard is somewhere
in the house.

Speaker 1 (01:27):
So I'm standing there.

Speaker 2 (01:28):
I've sent you all a message instantly say I'm gonna
be late for the meeting.

Speaker 1 (01:32):
I'm just not gonna make it on time. The rat,
no rat. It is photoshopping one into you photos.

Speaker 2 (01:37):
I wish there was no rat. The rat's back. I'm
looking around the house downstairs. I can't see anything.

Speaker 1 (01:45):
But I pause.

Speaker 2 (01:46):
I'm silent for like three minutes, standing on my hands
on my hips, going it's somewhere. I know it's somewhere.
And then I hear a little movement on the kitchen
bench we've taken out of the laundry. Morris, our dog
has got my little basket filled with all of his toys.
I hear some movement in the basket, I go that
little shit is in the basket.

Speaker 1 (02:07):
I know he's in the basket.

Speaker 3 (02:10):
So then immediately I would have grabbed a big blanket,
thrown it over the entire basket, scooped it up, and
taken it outside.

Speaker 1 (02:15):
Did you do that?

Speaker 2 (02:16):
That's an idea, It's not the one that I went
for because of the handles. I figured if I put
a blanket on top of it, he's just going to
find a way to weasel out, Like where the blanket
meets the handles, it doesn't sit flush. This is going
to be a whole problem. So I got the basket.
It's big, it's like, you know, sixty centimeters wide. This
dog's got more toys than most human children.

Speaker 3 (02:35):
Why couldn't you just wrap the blanket down and pick
it up like that?

Speaker 2 (02:39):
Ali? It was five in the morning and I was stressing,
all right. I was by myself. I didn't want to
wake Laza up this time. I was like, I'm gonna
get this wrap myself, take it into the laundry. In
the laundry there's a toilet right which is a tiny room,
one by one, something tiny. I get the basket. I
up end the basket in the toilet with the door
mostly closed. I've got a blanket on the ground so

(02:59):
that it can't get out unless it can jump over
a blanket.

Speaker 1 (03:03):
I see him on the ground. I've got him.

Speaker 2 (03:04):
I've got this little crap bastard that's been shitting all
over my house. Sorry for swearing, get on the radio.
I'll stop doing it now. And he burrows into the blanket.
I can see the blanket moving. I'm gonna get him.
All I have to do is like put my hands
down around the blanket for whatever reason.

Speaker 1 (03:21):
Chuck a blanket on it. Catch what reason? Yeah, what happened?
I hesitated?

Speaker 2 (03:25):
No, he's burrowed through the blanket in that second of hesitation,
found it out a crack in the door, and he's
back in the house. My wife is upstairs asleep the
entire time. She is scared of rats, because we're all
hate rats. She's scared of rats. I've sent her a
message because she said to me before bed last night,
can you please let me know if the rat trap

(03:47):
catches the rat before I wake up, either to send
her a message that she's only just read. And my
message said, sorry, this is what's happened little bastards in
the house somewhere. I tried my best, he got away.
She has sent me a reply, and all that says,
first thing in the morning to me is what the
That's where your rat update is. So if you're listening, Murray,

(04:12):
Pest Control or whoever it is, it may save me.

Speaker 3 (04:16):
Be a man I tried, or a woman, even be
a woman. I could catch that thing.

Speaker 1 (04:21):
I tried. And apparently I'm pathetic.

Speaker 2 (04:23):
Apparently I'm not the man I thought I was, and
this thing is slowly breaking me down.

Speaker 3 (04:28):
My man, hang in there, Hang in there.

Speaker 1 (04:30):
I actually hate today so much because I had the rat. Ali,
I had the rat, but you didn't.

Speaker 3 (04:40):
That's the problem, all right.

Speaker 2 (04:42):
Ah, I'm so frustrated.

Speaker 3 (04:46):
You've been in a crappy mood all morning. Man, Just
catch the thing

Speaker 1 (04:51):
I hate today