February 13, 2025 • 13 mins
Forget Farmer Wants a Wife. In this episode, we chat to a few of the 400 members of Solo Socials Upper Hunter group about what it's really like to be single and ready to mingle in Muswellbrook.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
My heart Upper Hunter.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
We wanted to just do things that we like to
do without being a third will and I think that
that's something in our area that we really needed.
Speaker 3 (00:11):
Roses a red, Violet's a Blue. I'm Darren KATRUPI here
with you. Yep, this is indeed a Valentine's Day edition
of our podcast as I explore the precarious subject of
finding love in the Upper Hunter. Now, the venue for
this romantic episode is actually a rather moody intimate setting,
(00:33):
the secret VIP room underneath the Royal Hotel in Muscybrook,
the one that ex British PM Boris Johnson used to
host a lunch at last year. And accepting our invitation
to chat about love, are members of the local singles
group Solo Socials Upper Hunter. This includes Chasinda, who is
the instantly likable administrator of the group, coordinating a weekly
(00:57):
whirl of social events from trivia nights to movie screenings.
To Sinda from Skyone is forty something and herself single
and it was simply a case of filling an obvious
gap in the Upper Hunter for like minded, unattached residents.
Speaker 2 (01:12):
I wanted to meet other people and in this area
I was finding it very challenging because I'm not much
of a drinker in regard to alcohol, and so that
left me with less choices. So as an unmarried and
unpartnered person, I got to be little bit tired of
being the third will of other people's relationships and going
(01:33):
out in social settings and being the third will to
other people's relationships. So I decided there must be other
people like me out there, and so I created the
group to make more friends, and so other people in
our area also had some type of communication channel for
(01:57):
them to make more friends as well, in ways that
like a best for them, whether that's to find someone
to go camping with or to find someone to go
fishing with, because whether you're male or female, sometimes a
male just might want another mate to go fishing with
or to go camping with, or talk about mechanics stuff
or just socializing ways that work for them, and the
(02:21):
same with females. We wanted to just do things that
we like to do, yeah, whoever we want, without being
a third will. And I think that that's something in
our area that we really needed.
Speaker 3 (02:34):
Jasinda says. The idea two years ago was to give
upper Hunter singles an alternative to all the apps and
online options that seemed to be the norm these days,
with a real emphasis on face to face interactions. Despite
this clear intension at the start, there was some misconceptions
on what this was all about.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
The intention was not for it to be primarily an
online scenario because that's wasn't gonna work because we have
millions of those, and the missing piece was people a
missing connection with other people. There just wasn't that connection
that people were having like in person connections. Hasn't been
without ups and downs. So we've had some stigma of
(03:18):
OFF being called a swingers group because it originally is
essentially is a singles group. I found that there was
a stigma of oh, okay, well, all these single people
and it's a single group, it must be a swingers group.
So and admittedly there was some challenges there because it's
an online space of trying to keep also married men
(03:41):
or women who had actually interpreted themselves that's what it was,
they would join the group and so yeah, that's not
what it is. So it's it's a social group for
people to socialize with, especially in rural areas because we
don't have a lot of connections as such. So it
took some time to build up, just in regard to
(04:02):
people also feeling safe to come along, like people to
feel accepted and included, and just just to have fun
without any judgment or any any nonsense.
Speaker 3 (04:15):
Really, solo socials up a Hunter has a distinct demographic
amongst its more than four hundred members, but it's not
exclusive to that.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
It seems to be thirties to.
Speaker 1 (04:27):
Fifties.
Speaker 2 (04:29):
That just seems to be the Yeah, the age group
that have joined those in the twenties. We try to
get them to come along and to join the group.
That that part we're not really having a lot of
success with. So when they do join the group on
the online space, that age demographic generally doesn't come out
(04:52):
into the real world and actually come and connect and
socialize with us. I think they're just missing out on
that human connection which is really important.
Speaker 3 (05:03):
So is there a stigma that goes with being single
in the upper Hunter.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
Yeah, Yeah, there's definitely a stigma because single women are
not going out because they want to steal people's husbands.
We don't want to steal people's husbands. We're not interested
and if we wanted a man, we would go and
get our own. There are thousands of single men out
in the world, and single people are just not interested
(05:32):
in stealing other people's husbands or wives because we don't
need the drama. It's like sometimes it's this area's like
the nineteen forties. You need to toe the line and
you need to fit in to the little box of
what everyone else is doing in regard to the social
rules that this area has created that people accept. But
(05:54):
if you don't fit into that, well then I guess
you just have to push the boundaries bit because we
don't need to fit into that. We can because that's
not really what's happening on the rest of the world
are doing. Where people are choosing to live independently with
(06:14):
freedom and be financially secure. It's a matter of choice.
It's not a matter of desperation. There can be a
bit of a stigma, and I think also with men
and women, is that oh, okay, well she's single or
he's single. They must be something wrong with them, what's
wrong with them? But sometimes it's a choice because we
just love our life and it's great. The freedom is
(06:39):
just fantastic, and it's not freedom to go, okay, well,
we might just have sex with ten people a week
and if we wanted to, we.
Speaker 3 (06:47):
Can stay with us. Next, we meet two other members
of solo socials Upper Hunter, and we find out if
Cubits Arrow has yet to strike a true love target.
I heart Apper Hunter.
Speaker 1 (07:06):
I heart Apper.
Speaker 3 (07:07):
Hunter, Darren KATRUPI back with you and on this Valentine's Day,
there must be plenty of options when it comes to
finding a special someone in the Upper Hunter. Well. Marz
is thirty six. He lives at Aberdeen and works in
the mines. He's been flying solo since his last relationship
broke down a few years back. He says, while he
(07:28):
is keen to find love, it hasn't been his first priority.
Speaker 4 (07:32):
Still working through a little bit.
Speaker 5 (07:35):
We've got two kids, so they've been taking priority a
little bit.
Speaker 4 (07:39):
China see them as much as I can.
Speaker 5 (07:42):
But as always, Yeah, I'd love to get back in
the dating game, as anyone would, really. Yeah, companionship company
would be great.
Speaker 3 (07:51):
Marz says he's always found it challenging to find the
courage to sometimes make the first approach, and being part
of this group has helped with his shyness.
Speaker 5 (08:00):
I've always been a bit shy, reserved. Yeah, I don't
really put myself out there.
Speaker 4 (08:10):
I'm very quiet.
Speaker 5 (08:12):
It takes a lot for people to get to know me.
I've only got a few really close friends and that's
about it. Yeah, so I've never been a really big,
outgoing person.
Speaker 4 (08:24):
What do you do for a date in muscle brooks
any ideas?
Speaker 5 (08:27):
I wouldn't know. To be honest, I haven't really been
been on a date in Musclebrook or a day. There's
not really a great deal. We've got the movies in
Musclebrook here, Yeah, you'd have to if anything you need,
just go to the movies or what else we've got.
We've got the Bowling Alley, bothing, camping, fishing.
Speaker 4 (08:49):
Yep.
Speaker 5 (08:50):
You got to find a date first before we can
take someone.
Speaker 3 (08:53):
Now, meet Glenda. She's sixty four and moved to Musselebrook
from Sydney last year for her solo socials Upper Hunter group.
It's a great way to make friends in a new town.
Speaker 1 (09:05):
I guess I keep to myself. I'm happy, really happy
with my own company. I know when I need to
get out, I know when I need to be with people.
Hence me joining the Facebook group that Jasinda has and
coming out to a few of the gatherings and meeting
some other women who I've made friends with, so I
don't feel isolated anymore. But I do work full time
(09:28):
from home one day a week in Sydney, and I'm
pretty happy with the way my life is running. I
am still learning to love myself and until I can
do that, there's no room for anyone else. So I
just want to connect with other people.
Speaker 4 (09:44):
How do you find single life in twenty and twenty five.
Speaker 1 (09:49):
I guess there's two factors at play the way I
see it. One is me personally, where I'm at in
my life, and clearly over I mean, I got married
in nineteen eighty nine for the first time, so there's
been a lot of evolution in my life since nineteen
eighty nine to now. But also I believe that the
collective has also changed. And I think that so long
(10:13):
as you are strong and comfortable in your own skin,
it's okay to be whoever and whatever you are. Nobody
else will have a problem with it unless you're uncomfortable
with yourself, and I'm not.
Speaker 4 (10:26):
Do you find that it's just really got to be
worth the effort for you to actually make the effort,
Whereas when you're younger, you know you go out because
that's what you.
Speaker 1 (10:36):
Do and everybody's going out. It's different when you're in
your teens, in your twenties, it's completely different to now.
It's you know, like I go out, now, am I
going to meet anybody in my age who's single? Who
I have half a chance of having a meeting of
minds with?
Speaker 4 (10:53):
Quite? Frankly, no, Is it about expectation management? In twenty
twenty five fighting love?
Speaker 1 (10:58):
Yeah? Yeah? But you know what, it was the same
in Sydney, because you go out and where do you go,
Like when you're young, you go to pubs, you go
to clubs, you go to nightclubs, you go anywhere, and
you're full of people your old age. Now like where
do you go to meet someone your own age? I
didn't find that in Sydney. Why would you know? Like
(11:19):
I don't see any difference to being here to being
in Sydney.
Speaker 4 (11:22):
Have you gone down the road of the apps and.
Speaker 1 (11:26):
That sort of Oh yeah. Two of my last two relationships, no, yeah, whatever,
two of them were through dating sites and that was
hard work.
Speaker 3 (11:36):
So for these likable locals, we do have to ask,
on this the calendar's most romantic day, what exactly does
Valentine's date mean to them anyway, Glenda, you.
Speaker 1 (11:48):
Really want to know my eldest sister's first husband, who
was horribly abusive, that was his birthday. That's what it
means to me, j Cinda, to me.
Speaker 2 (11:58):
Valentine's Days to go, I would be going out socializing
with other people, friends, another single people, friends that are married, friends,
and having a good night's It's very liberating actually to
know that I don't need to get caught up in
the commercialization off at all, and then it's more just
(12:21):
connecting with people that we feel good with.
Speaker 5 (12:24):
Muzz, It's not going to be anything to be honest
for me at at the moment, being a single blow
who got there's no prospects. So it's just going to
be another day to be honest.
Speaker 3 (12:33):
But before we go, just one more hunker hunker burning question.
Can this little group lay claim to any success stories
like engagements or weddings or even babies?
Speaker 2 (12:45):
Yes, so they have.
Speaker 4 (12:46):
They have.
Speaker 2 (12:47):
So there's a couple that still come along to events
every week and they met through the trivia, so we
have had a baby and they're still.
Speaker 3 (12:57):
Together to mark this Valentine's Days. Solo Socials Upper Hunter
members are off to the movies to watch the latest
Bridger Jones romcom. A fine choice, indeed, no pressure, just
a bunch of fun people being fabulously single but open
to meeting that special someone one day. I'm Darren KATRUPI
thanks for listening. I'll catch you next time.
Speaker 1 (13:20):
iHeart Upper Hunter.
My heart Upper Hunter.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
We wanted to just do things that we like to
do without being a third will and I think that
that's something in our area that we really needed.
Speaker 3 (00:11):
Roses a red, Violet's a Blue. I'm Darren KATRUPI here
with you. Yep, this is indeed a Valentine's Day edition
of our podcast as I explore the precarious subject of
finding love in the Upper Hunter. Now, the venue for
this romantic episode is actually a rather moody intimate setting,
(00:33):
the secret VIP room underneath the Royal Hotel in Muscybrook,
the one that ex British PM Boris Johnson used to
host a lunch at last year. And accepting our invitation
to chat about love, are members of the local singles
group Solo Socials Upper Hunter. This includes Chasinda, who is
the instantly likable administrator of the group, coordinating a weekly
(00:57):
whirl of social events from trivia nights to movie screenings.
To Sinda from Skyone is forty something and herself single
and it was simply a case of filling an obvious
gap in the Upper Hunter for like minded, unattached residents.
Speaker 2 (01:12):
I wanted to meet other people and in this area
I was finding it very challenging because I'm not much
of a drinker in regard to alcohol, and so that
left me with less choices. So as an unmarried and
unpartnered person, I got to be little bit tired of
being the third will of other people's relationships and going
(01:33):
out in social settings and being the third will to
other people's relationships. So I decided there must be other
people like me out there, and so I created the
group to make more friends, and so other people in
our area also had some type of communication channel for
(01:57):
them to make more friends as well, in ways that
like a best for them, whether that's to find someone
to go camping with or to find someone to go
fishing with, because whether you're male or female, sometimes a
male just might want another mate to go fishing with
or to go camping with, or talk about mechanics stuff
or just socializing ways that work for them, and the
(02:21):
same with females. We wanted to just do things that
we like to do, yeah, whoever we want, without being
a third will. And I think that that's something in
our area that we really needed.
Speaker 3 (02:34):
Jasinda says. The idea two years ago was to give
upper Hunter singles an alternative to all the apps and
online options that seemed to be the norm these days,
with a real emphasis on face to face interactions. Despite
this clear intension at the start, there was some misconceptions
on what this was all about.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
The intention was not for it to be primarily an
online scenario because that's wasn't gonna work because we have
millions of those, and the missing piece was people a
missing connection with other people. There just wasn't that connection
that people were having like in person connections. Hasn't been
without ups and downs. So we've had some stigma of
(03:18):
OFF being called a swingers group because it originally is
essentially is a singles group. I found that there was
a stigma of oh, okay, well, all these single people
and it's a single group, it must be a swingers group.
So and admittedly there was some challenges there because it's
an online space of trying to keep also married men
(03:41):
or women who had actually interpreted themselves that's what it was,
they would join the group and so yeah, that's not
what it is. So it's it's a social group for
people to socialize with, especially in rural areas because we
don't have a lot of connections as such. So it
took some time to build up, just in regard to
(04:02):
people also feeling safe to come along, like people to
feel accepted and included, and just just to have fun
without any judgment or any any nonsense.
Speaker 3 (04:15):
Really, solo socials up a Hunter has a distinct demographic
amongst its more than four hundred members, but it's not
exclusive to that.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
It seems to be thirties to.
Speaker 1 (04:27):
Fifties.
Speaker 2 (04:29):
That just seems to be the Yeah, the age group
that have joined those in the twenties. We try to
get them to come along and to join the group.
That that part we're not really having a lot of
success with. So when they do join the group on
the online space, that age demographic generally doesn't come out
(04:52):
into the real world and actually come and connect and
socialize with us. I think they're just missing out on
that human connection which is really important.
Speaker 3 (05:03):
So is there a stigma that goes with being single
in the upper Hunter.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
Yeah, Yeah, there's definitely a stigma because single women are
not going out because they want to steal people's husbands.
We don't want to steal people's husbands. We're not interested
and if we wanted a man, we would go and
get our own. There are thousands of single men out
in the world, and single people are just not interested
(05:32):
in stealing other people's husbands or wives because we don't
need the drama. It's like sometimes it's this area's like
the nineteen forties. You need to toe the line and
you need to fit in to the little box of
what everyone else is doing in regard to the social
rules that this area has created that people accept. But
(05:54):
if you don't fit into that, well then I guess
you just have to push the boundaries bit because we
don't need to fit into that. We can because that's
not really what's happening on the rest of the world
are doing. Where people are choosing to live independently with
(06:14):
freedom and be financially secure. It's a matter of choice.
It's not a matter of desperation. There can be a
bit of a stigma, and I think also with men
and women, is that oh, okay, well she's single or
he's single. They must be something wrong with them, what's
wrong with them? But sometimes it's a choice because we
just love our life and it's great. The freedom is
(06:39):
just fantastic, and it's not freedom to go, okay, well,
we might just have sex with ten people a week
and if we wanted to, we.
Speaker 3 (06:47):
Can stay with us. Next, we meet two other members
of solo socials Upper Hunter, and we find out if
Cubits Arrow has yet to strike a true love target.
I heart Apper Hunter.
Speaker 1 (07:06):
I heart Apper.
Speaker 3 (07:07):
Hunter, Darren KATRUPI back with you and on this Valentine's Day,
there must be plenty of options when it comes to
finding a special someone in the Upper Hunter. Well. Marz
is thirty six. He lives at Aberdeen and works in
the mines. He's been flying solo since his last relationship
broke down a few years back. He says, while he
(07:28):
is keen to find love, it hasn't been his first priority.
Speaker 4 (07:32):
Still working through a little bit.
Speaker 5 (07:35):
We've got two kids, so they've been taking priority a
little bit.
Speaker 4 (07:39):
China see them as much as I can.
Speaker 5 (07:42):
But as always, Yeah, I'd love to get back in
the dating game, as anyone would, really. Yeah, companionship company
would be great.
Speaker 3 (07:51):
Marz says he's always found it challenging to find the
courage to sometimes make the first approach, and being part
of this group has helped with his shyness.
Speaker 5 (08:00):
I've always been a bit shy, reserved. Yeah, I don't
really put myself out there.
Speaker 4 (08:10):
I'm very quiet.
Speaker 5 (08:12):
It takes a lot for people to get to know me.
I've only got a few really close friends and that's
about it. Yeah, so I've never been a really big,
outgoing person.
Speaker 4 (08:24):
What do you do for a date in muscle brooks
any ideas?
Speaker 5 (08:27):
I wouldn't know. To be honest, I haven't really been
been on a date in Musclebrook or a day. There's
not really a great deal. We've got the movies in
Musclebrook here, Yeah, you'd have to if anything you need,
just go to the movies or what else we've got.
We've got the Bowling Alley, bothing, camping, fishing.
Speaker 4 (08:49):
Yep.
Speaker 5 (08:50):
You got to find a date first before we can
take someone.
Speaker 3 (08:53):
Now, meet Glenda. She's sixty four and moved to Musselebrook
from Sydney last year for her solo socials Upper Hunter group.
It's a great way to make friends in a new town.
Speaker 1 (09:05):
I guess I keep to myself. I'm happy, really happy
with my own company. I know when I need to
get out, I know when I need to be with people.
Hence me joining the Facebook group that Jasinda has and
coming out to a few of the gatherings and meeting
some other women who I've made friends with, so I
don't feel isolated anymore. But I do work full time
(09:28):
from home one day a week in Sydney, and I'm
pretty happy with the way my life is running. I
am still learning to love myself and until I can
do that, there's no room for anyone else. So I
just want to connect with other people.
Speaker 4 (09:44):
How do you find single life in twenty and twenty five.
Speaker 1 (09:49):
I guess there's two factors at play the way I
see it. One is me personally, where I'm at in
my life, and clearly over I mean, I got married
in nineteen eighty nine for the first time, so there's
been a lot of evolution in my life since nineteen
eighty nine to now. But also I believe that the
collective has also changed. And I think that so long
(10:13):
as you are strong and comfortable in your own skin,
it's okay to be whoever and whatever you are. Nobody
else will have a problem with it unless you're uncomfortable
with yourself, and I'm not.
Speaker 4 (10:26):
Do you find that it's just really got to be
worth the effort for you to actually make the effort,
Whereas when you're younger, you know you go out because
that's what you.
Speaker 1 (10:36):
Do and everybody's going out. It's different when you're in
your teens, in your twenties, it's completely different to now.
It's you know, like I go out, now, am I
going to meet anybody in my age who's single? Who
I have half a chance of having a meeting of
minds with?
Speaker 4 (10:53):
Quite? Frankly, no, Is it about expectation management? In twenty
twenty five fighting love?
Speaker 1 (10:58):
Yeah? Yeah? But you know what, it was the same
in Sydney, because you go out and where do you go,
Like when you're young, you go to pubs, you go
to clubs, you go to nightclubs, you go anywhere, and
you're full of people your old age. Now like where
do you go to meet someone your own age? I
didn't find that in Sydney. Why would you know? Like
(11:19):
I don't see any difference to being here to being
in Sydney.
Speaker 4 (11:22):
Have you gone down the road of the apps and.
Speaker 1 (11:26):
That sort of Oh yeah. Two of my last two relationships, no, yeah, whatever,
two of them were through dating sites and that was
hard work.
Speaker 3 (11:36):
So for these likable locals, we do have to ask,
on this the calendar's most romantic day, what exactly does
Valentine's date mean to them anyway, Glenda, you.
Speaker 1 (11:48):
Really want to know my eldest sister's first husband, who
was horribly abusive, that was his birthday. That's what it
means to me, j Cinda, to me.
Speaker 2 (11:58):
Valentine's Days to go, I would be going out socializing
with other people, friends, another single people, friends that are married, friends,
and having a good night's It's very liberating actually to
know that I don't need to get caught up in
the commercialization off at all, and then it's more just
(12:21):
connecting with people that we feel good with.
Speaker 5 (12:24):
Muzz, It's not going to be anything to be honest
for me at at the moment, being a single blow
who got there's no prospects. So it's just going to
be another day to be honest.
Speaker 3 (12:33):
But before we go, just one more hunker hunker burning question.
Can this little group lay claim to any success stories
like engagements or weddings or even babies?
Speaker 2 (12:45):
Yes, so they have.
Speaker 4 (12:46):
They have.
Speaker 2 (12:47):
So there's a couple that still come along to events
every week and they met through the trivia, so we
have had a baby and they're still.
Speaker 3 (12:57):
Together to mark this Valentine's Days. Solo Socials Upper Hunter
members are off to the movies to watch the latest
Bridger Jones romcom. A fine choice, indeed, no pressure, just
a bunch of fun people being fabulously single but open
to meeting that special someone one day. I'm Darren KATRUPI
thanks for listening. I'll catch you next time.
Speaker 1 (13:20):
iHeart Upper Hunter.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!