June 10, 2024 • 6 mins
Maggie Walters, author of 'SPLIT - A Life Shared: Living with Multiple Personality Disorder'Â joins Jonesy & Amanda to chat about her experience living with MPD.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Jersey and Amanda gem Nation. This associative identity disorder formerly
known as multiple personality disorder brendan. People of our age
probably first saw this.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
In the movie Sybil Yes, Sally Feel.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
Personalities is what we would call it. This happens when
a person goes through some horrendous abuse and they switch
to other identities to manage the abuse so that they
can survive the experience. Maggie Walters has shared her incredible
story of living with this disorder in a new book
called Split and She joins, Now, Hello, Maggie.
Speaker 3 (00:34):
Good morning.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
Hey Maggie, Hey, how are you doing very well?
Speaker 3 (00:38):
Maggie?
Speaker 1 (00:39):
How many personalities, if that's what we call them, did
you have? How did it manifest for you?
Speaker 3 (00:45):
So I've probably got close to forty. A lot of
people that I'm aware of have more than that, but
I have about forty and they don't manifest anymore. I'm
what's called high functioning. What that means is that unless
I get severely triggered, they don't come out that I
don't flip. It was when I was a child that
(01:06):
they basically were developed by my system administrator and her
name was Annie, in order to manage our system so
that everybody could stay safe.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
And I was reading when you went through some terrible
abuse when you were young, and yeah, so can you
be triggered just like these interview for example? Could something
I don't want to trigger you with anything.
Speaker 3 (01:28):
No. Look, I'm associative. That's the beauty of it, you know.
I'm sorry, naturally, I actually have an altar who really
sees talking about this stuff. She doesn't have any trauma
associated with her. She sees talking and sharing this message
trying to you know, to normalize and change the narrative
around mental health as being very healing for all of us,
(01:50):
which is really great. So that helps a lot. So
I don't tend to get triggered.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
You said that the characters inside the other personalities in
a bit of a wood, they were the girls, and
each one would come out at a different time and
deal differently with the abuse.
Speaker 3 (02:08):
Yes, yeah, so it's you know, they were some of
them they knew exactly what their their jobs were. In
the book, I talk about how you know they they
got ready, They knew what sort of abuse was getting
ready to happen. So different altars were created for different things,
and a lot of them have stayed children and very small,
(02:28):
so they're kind of stuck in a loop where the
abuse is all they know and it's all they're aware of,
even while it's not happening. That's just that's their whole
world and that's all they can think about.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
And so you're conscious of these happening. So yeah, yeah, Like,
do you get all the girls together and say, let's
have a meeting. Who's going to deal with these?
Speaker 3 (02:46):
Ah? Look, I wish we were that functional. I like
to say that my altars, we have a dysfunctional family.
Some of them I get along with, some of them
I don't. They often are happy to tell me when
I am not dealing with the world in the way
that they would like for me to deal with it.
Some of them are not really happy about me trying
(03:07):
to increase the visibility of complex mental trauma and trying to,
you know, change the way the world sees it. And
it's it's causing me a few internal problems. We're just
a dysfunctional, normal family, and when we do talk, I
try to negotiate with them. Sometimes successful, sometimes it's not.
Speaker 1 (03:30):
Is it exhausting, Maggie, It sounds exating.
Speaker 3 (03:32):
Oh yeah, tell me about it, you know, I have
friends who go, man, I just I'm neurotypical, and I
just have my own voice speaking to me in my head,
and it drives me crazy, you know. And when I've
got thirty or forty that are constantly telling me their
perspective on my life. Yeah, it's chaotic and can drive
me crazy at times.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
And could you take any drugs to fix this or
a drug?
Speaker 3 (03:55):
No, they're drugs are not a part of this. And
that's probably one of the biggest misconceptions around this, is
that and why it's misdiagnosed. Someone will come in and
say they hear voices, so they're automatically diagnosed to schizophrenic,
bipolar or something like that, and they think drugs are
going to fix it. You can't do any drugs that
are going to change this because this was not This
is not a biological issue. This is a trauma issue,
(04:19):
and the only way to resolve it and to bring
peace to the system in any sort of fashion is
therapy and talking.
Speaker 1 (04:29):
So how old were you when you pieced all this together?
Speaker 3 (04:33):
So I actually went away when I was three. My
family was immigrating from England to America and I got
hit and I went away so our whole childhood, I
was not around. I didn't really come back until in
my late twenties and my primary alter Annie, she started.
(04:54):
She knew straightaway that she was an altar and that
she had to start wrestling with things and start creating
girls to deal with some of the abuse that happened
once we moved to the States. She so she started,
so she had to wrestle with all that. At a
point where actually she left home, she started forgetting about
(05:15):
the abuse. And it was that when everything started to
calm down a little bit and the girls felt safer
that we're actually able to see a therapist too. Helped
to start walking through understanding what it meant to be multiple.
Speaker 2 (05:28):
That's great that you managed to pick this upot though,
that you've actually and this gives us a way to
move forward with dealing with people with mental health issues.
Speaker 3 (05:37):
Well, and that's my whole goal at the end of
the day is you know, some people said, You've have
let people so inside such intimate events in your life,
and I'm like, the more I am transparent about who
I am, the more you guys are going to go,
you know what, You're just somebody like someone else and
let's show you a bit of love and kindness and
move on.
Speaker 1 (05:55):
Oh, Maggie, amazing, very good.
Speaker 3 (05:57):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (05:58):
And I guess you'd never be lonely. You never to
get lonely, No.
Speaker 3 (06:03):
Never never. That's so well he could insight.
Speaker 2 (06:06):
Yeah, that's good upside. If you want to read Split,
head to Maggie Walters dot com. Maggie, thank you for
joining us.
Speaker 3 (06:14):
Yes, can I just say really quickly that I am
doing a Sydney launch at better Red than Dead on
Thursday night. Please come down and enjoy a talk with me.
Speaker 1 (06:22):
Okay, Oh it would be amazing. You've been fabulous. Thank you, Maggie, well,
thank you, thank you.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
Fascinating
Jersey and Amanda gem Nation. This associative identity disorder formerly
known as multiple personality disorder brendan. People of our age
probably first saw this.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
In the movie Sybil Yes, Sally Feel.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
Personalities is what we would call it. This happens when
a person goes through some horrendous abuse and they switch
to other identities to manage the abuse so that they
can survive the experience. Maggie Walters has shared her incredible
story of living with this disorder in a new book
called Split and She joins, Now, Hello, Maggie.
Speaker 3 (00:34):
Good morning.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
Hey Maggie, Hey, how are you doing very well?
Speaker 3 (00:38):
Maggie?
Speaker 1 (00:39):
How many personalities, if that's what we call them, did
you have? How did it manifest for you?
Speaker 3 (00:45):
So I've probably got close to forty. A lot of
people that I'm aware of have more than that, but
I have about forty and they don't manifest anymore. I'm
what's called high functioning. What that means is that unless
I get severely triggered, they don't come out that I
don't flip. It was when I was a child that
(01:06):
they basically were developed by my system administrator and her
name was Annie, in order to manage our system so
that everybody could stay safe.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
And I was reading when you went through some terrible
abuse when you were young, and yeah, so can you
be triggered just like these interview for example? Could something
I don't want to trigger you with anything.
Speaker 3 (01:28):
No. Look, I'm associative. That's the beauty of it, you know.
I'm sorry, naturally, I actually have an altar who really
sees talking about this stuff. She doesn't have any trauma
associated with her. She sees talking and sharing this message
trying to you know, to normalize and change the narrative
around mental health as being very healing for all of us,
(01:50):
which is really great. So that helps a lot. So
I don't tend to get triggered.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
You said that the characters inside the other personalities in
a bit of a wood, they were the girls, and
each one would come out at a different time and
deal differently with the abuse.
Speaker 3 (02:08):
Yes, yeah, so it's you know, they were some of
them they knew exactly what their their jobs were. In
the book, I talk about how you know they they
got ready, They knew what sort of abuse was getting
ready to happen. So different altars were created for different things,
and a lot of them have stayed children and very small,
(02:28):
so they're kind of stuck in a loop where the
abuse is all they know and it's all they're aware of,
even while it's not happening. That's just that's their whole
world and that's all they can think about.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
And so you're conscious of these happening. So yeah, yeah, Like,
do you get all the girls together and say, let's
have a meeting. Who's going to deal with these?
Speaker 3 (02:46):
Ah? Look, I wish we were that functional. I like
to say that my altars, we have a dysfunctional family.
Some of them I get along with, some of them
I don't. They often are happy to tell me when
I am not dealing with the world in the way
that they would like for me to deal with it.
Some of them are not really happy about me trying
(03:07):
to increase the visibility of complex mental trauma and trying to,
you know, change the way the world sees it. And
it's it's causing me a few internal problems. We're just
a dysfunctional, normal family, and when we do talk, I
try to negotiate with them. Sometimes successful, sometimes it's not.
Speaker 1 (03:30):
Is it exhausting, Maggie, It sounds exating.
Speaker 3 (03:32):
Oh yeah, tell me about it, you know, I have
friends who go, man, I just I'm neurotypical, and I
just have my own voice speaking to me in my head,
and it drives me crazy, you know. And when I've
got thirty or forty that are constantly telling me their
perspective on my life. Yeah, it's chaotic and can drive
me crazy at times.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
And could you take any drugs to fix this or
a drug?
Speaker 3 (03:55):
No, they're drugs are not a part of this. And
that's probably one of the biggest misconceptions around this, is
that and why it's misdiagnosed. Someone will come in and
say they hear voices, so they're automatically diagnosed to schizophrenic,
bipolar or something like that, and they think drugs are
going to fix it. You can't do any drugs that
are going to change this because this was not This
is not a biological issue. This is a trauma issue,
(04:19):
and the only way to resolve it and to bring
peace to the system in any sort of fashion is
therapy and talking.
Speaker 1 (04:29):
So how old were you when you pieced all this together?
Speaker 3 (04:33):
So I actually went away when I was three. My
family was immigrating from England to America and I got
hit and I went away so our whole childhood, I
was not around. I didn't really come back until in
my late twenties and my primary alter Annie, she started.
(04:54):
She knew straightaway that she was an altar and that
she had to start wrestling with things and start creating
girls to deal with some of the abuse that happened
once we moved to the States. She so she started,
so she had to wrestle with all that. At a
point where actually she left home, she started forgetting about
(05:15):
the abuse. And it was that when everything started to
calm down a little bit and the girls felt safer
that we're actually able to see a therapist too. Helped
to start walking through understanding what it meant to be multiple.
Speaker 2 (05:28):
That's great that you managed to pick this upot though,
that you've actually and this gives us a way to
move forward with dealing with people with mental health issues.
Speaker 3 (05:37):
Well, and that's my whole goal at the end of
the day is you know, some people said, You've have
let people so inside such intimate events in your life,
and I'm like, the more I am transparent about who
I am, the more you guys are going to go,
you know what, You're just somebody like someone else and
let's show you a bit of love and kindness and
move on.
Speaker 1 (05:55):
Oh, Maggie, amazing, very good.
Speaker 3 (05:57):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (05:58):
And I guess you'd never be lonely. You never to
get lonely, No.
Speaker 3 (06:03):
Never never. That's so well he could insight.
Speaker 2 (06:06):
Yeah, that's good upside. If you want to read Split,
head to Maggie Walters dot com. Maggie, thank you for
joining us.
Speaker 3 (06:14):
Yes, can I just say really quickly that I am
doing a Sydney launch at better Red than Dead on
Thursday night. Please come down and enjoy a talk with me.
Speaker 1 (06:22):
Okay, Oh it would be amazing. You've been fabulous. Thank you, Maggie, well,
thank you, thank you.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
Fascinating
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