FULL SHOW: "Close, But No Cigar!"

Have you absolutely butchered a common saying without realising? These people have, and the results are hilarious!

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Wow, what a show today Tuesday. It feels like it's Friday.
I need a holiday.

Speaker 2 (00:03):
There's a lot in it. How do you feel if
you were waking up from a general anesthetic. You're feeling groggy,
you're feeling strange, You're not sure of your reality. You
look over and you see a miniature horse playing a
small keyboard. This is what some people are doing in
hospitals to wake people from anesthetics.

Speaker 1 (00:21):
I got a mint.

Speaker 3 (00:21):
I felt a little horse when I was in hospital.
But the anesthetic can do that to you. I know
you usually do the pung gea.

Speaker 2 (00:27):
There's a joker there about a horse's ass, but I'm
not touching that one.

Speaker 3 (00:32):
Also, my comphory sis joining us in this podcast. There's
got a new show. It's called Salt. Who Broke the
Great Australian Dream?

Speaker 1 (00:39):
It wasn't me. Don't look at me, pretty mogul.

Speaker 2 (00:42):
I was put it together with some glue. Also, do
you know people who get their phrases wrong? Rocket science
becomes rocket silence. We have a producer who thinks that
when the expression, oh they've been in the wars is
they've been in the walls.

Speaker 1 (00:56):
Yeah, I'm not surprised by that.

Speaker 3 (00:58):
Yeah, we're going to take your calls on that drum
ll beat and the pub test whistling.

Speaker 1 (01:03):
Does it pass the pub test? And I'm not talking
about when.

Speaker 3 (01:05):
Amanda walks past the building site in a Daisy Dukes.

Speaker 1 (01:08):
Now enjoy the podcast.

Speaker 4 (01:19):
The miracle of recording.

Speaker 1 (01:20):
We have so many requests for them to do it again,
Mistress Amanda and ms Keller, Amanda doesn't work alone.

Speaker 4 (01:28):
Friend is making the tools of the train.

Speaker 1 (01:31):
I've heard them describe him as a drunken idiot, a
legendary part.

Speaker 5 (01:36):
Jonesy, Amanda the actress.

Speaker 1 (01:39):
Congratulations, we're ready right now. Josey and Amanda, you're doing
a great job. It could anyone, big silkie giant good radio.

Speaker 2 (01:49):
Sorry, but it's a twist set.

Speaker 1 (01:53):
And Amanda, shoot time.

Speaker 4 (01:57):
We're on the air.

Speaker 1 (01:58):
Well. Top of the morning to you.

Speaker 3 (02:00):
Amanda, Hello, how are you my little Bad Element friended
shirt shirted friend?

Speaker 2 (02:04):
I'm wearing a T shirt from Bad Element.

Speaker 1 (02:06):
Yeah, your design, my design, They're not your design. I
like that, though I mixed up a bit. Is it
wash day at home?

Speaker 4 (02:12):
No?

Speaker 1 (02:13):
I do.

Speaker 2 (02:13):
I like this T shirt.

Speaker 1 (02:14):
It looks good your rocket it is it wash day
at home?

Speaker 2 (02:17):
Do you know which is washed out your place, because
do you know you have a laundry.

Speaker 3 (02:21):
I do, And you know what, I use the robin
Hood ironing station the other day at home.

Speaker 1 (02:25):
You know, the robin Hood irons shine your tights at four,
at fourth. It comes out of the wall. It's got
a timer, it's got a light. So it's like nineteen
sort of fifties. It's good people I sell in my life.

Speaker 3 (02:37):
I'm good to you and I and I felt it
quite cathartic.

Speaker 1 (02:40):
What were you ironing?

Speaker 2 (02:42):
You send your shirts out?

Speaker 1 (02:43):
That wasn't a shirt.

Speaker 3 (02:44):
It was a big canvas sign for two and M
radio where I used to work.

Speaker 1 (02:51):
Someone sent it to me, said you might like this
for your collection.

Speaker 3 (02:54):
So it's from the fifties, a hand painted sign from
two and M muscle boards.

Speaker 2 (02:58):
And when you ironed it, did the design?

Speaker 4 (03:00):
No?

Speaker 1 (03:00):
Come off?

Speaker 4 (03:01):
Now?

Speaker 3 (03:01):
I turned it the other way, but his hands sign
written and it had your local station in Mery Wars
broadcasting to the Upper Hunter.

Speaker 2 (03:08):
And what are you going to do with it?

Speaker 3 (03:09):
I'm just hanging it in the shed with all my
other al sign No, no, no, it's a batterer, you know,
because one of the jobs I did, I used to
do sign writing.

Speaker 1 (03:18):
I wasn't very good at it.

Speaker 2 (03:20):
Pretty classic mistake, isn't it. There forever you.

Speaker 3 (03:23):
Said, yeah, yeah, of myself. I know that's the Rural
Railway Station. Yes, because I used the wrong fond.

Speaker 1 (03:31):
Are your silly font That's what the boss said.

Speaker 3 (03:33):
If you go down to the Rural Railway Station, you
know the little street signs, it says the Rual Railway Station,
you will notice that the O is bigger than the rest.

Speaker 1 (03:43):
It's the wrong fond.

Speaker 2 (03:44):
There's more than one, so which is your wrong one?

Speaker 1 (03:48):
There's only one, is there?

Speaker 4 (03:49):
Ye?

Speaker 1 (03:50):
Through Yeah, only one. You'll notice that it's planning to stay.

Speaker 3 (03:53):
I was going to go down and knicke it and
put it in my garage, but I can't say that
do that.

Speaker 1 (03:57):
But I've just gone and set it on air.

Speaker 2 (03:59):
So now if someone so the signs of Sydney are
missing because of you, women.

Speaker 1 (04:06):
Don't understand that you don't like signs and things I
think of men, isn't it?

Speaker 2 (04:11):
I wonder what it is decorating your cave.

Speaker 4 (04:13):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (04:14):
When we had a sports guy, he got the bonnet
from or the spoiler from a VH supercar at Bathost
and he managed to drag it all from bathyst and
then put it in his land room and his wife
wasn't happening.

Speaker 2 (04:28):
And yet men will put up with a thousand cushions
on it.

Speaker 1 (04:31):
I know this is the world that we live in. Friend,
this is the world.

Speaker 2 (04:35):
He put that big bonnet.

Speaker 1 (04:36):
On the bed. Well, she's got a name.

Speaker 3 (04:40):
It's nice to see you Tuesday, Tuesday, everything is looking
peachy pie.

Speaker 1 (04:45):
Marke Humphreys is joining us.

Speaker 2 (04:46):
He's got a new show called Soul Who Broke the
Australian Dream? I haven't seen it yet. Is it a drama?
Is it a I watched her last night, Howlred you show?
What is it?

Speaker 1 (04:56):
It's just about how unaffordable housing has coming?

Speaker 6 (05:00):
Is he?

Speaker 2 (05:01):
Is he acting in it?

Speaker 1 (05:02):
Is he he's rating? It's like you hosting one of
those documentaries that you used to Okay, all right, I see.

Speaker 3 (05:09):
He's like a female version of you, a bearded version
of you.

Speaker 1 (05:13):
Oh snap, you're a beater version of you.

Speaker 3 (05:17):
Instagram makes us return and the Magnificent seven.

Speaker 1 (05:20):
We can't start the day without doing that.

Speaker 2 (05:23):
Question number one. Which city is known as the Big Apple?

Speaker 3 (05:26):
I'm walking here Gmation gold by a one point seven.
Hello there, it's Jonesy demand of thanks to Majoe Holmes
as a man who brings the cups of tea into
the sweet what Jim might Rye has a new deal.

Speaker 1 (05:39):
Now this is what the kids do these days. I
can't work. He doesn't use five days of week anymore.
And I know, but he's off for two days. I
know he's off for three days a week, three days
a week.

Speaker 2 (05:51):
It is what he's doing on the things. He's not off,
he's off here, but he's doing other things. So Jonesy
is doing the paneling stuff, which you know I grew
up doing. Let me just say it makes you very possible.

Speaker 1 (06:01):
So there's a lot going on. Of course, you've got
to make sure.

Speaker 2 (06:03):
Everything I consider over here and say and then my
head fell off and I bled out, and you go,
it's five past day. You've got the time right, You've done.

Speaker 1 (06:15):
It's okay. I'm focused fully on you. Good. I remember
when I first started with you and I used to
do the paneling. It was exactly that. Because you are
a very sharp person, and we.

Speaker 3 (06:30):
Are you going with co hosts at their peril if
they're not listening to what you're doing.

Speaker 1 (06:34):
So you've got to you've got to be totally focused.

Speaker 3 (06:37):
So if there's a commercial missing, or there's a rock
set song that's programmed at the wrong time, imagine, I've
got to be on top of all of that stuff
I should have as well as what you.

Speaker 2 (06:48):
I have to extract myself from the winbow seat and
go and make a cup of tea occasionally.

Speaker 1 (06:53):
Well that's nice, thank you for my tea.

Speaker 3 (06:58):
We have for you the magnificent seven. There seven questions.
Can you go all the way and answer all seven
questions correctly? If you do that, Amanda will say.

Speaker 2 (07:04):
My head fell off and I blurred out, But let's
move on.

Speaker 1 (07:07):
It's ten pers six. Joanne is in Liverpool.

Speaker 2 (07:10):
Joanne born in Jasie Laurie Mandala. He's question number one
for you. Which city is known as the Big Apple?

Speaker 1 (07:17):
That'd be New York absolutely.

Speaker 3 (07:20):
Which European rugby team is currently in Australia?

Speaker 7 (07:26):
Oh no, I don't know, Sorry, sorry, Joanne?

Speaker 1 (07:31):
And Warren's and Castle Hill?

Speaker 2 (07:32):
Do you know Warren? What's the name of the European
rugby team that's currently here? British British Fine.

Speaker 3 (07:39):
According to the Telegraph, the ratings were dreadful for the
British Lions, compared to the state of origin.

Speaker 1 (07:44):
I think because telegraph like state of origin.

Speaker 2 (07:48):
Well, I think the telegraph has an RL affiliation.

Speaker 3 (07:50):
But I will say this on Saturday night they got
eight hundred thousand people watching the game on telling it's
a big deal, and sun Corp Stadium had fifty six
thousand people.

Speaker 1 (07:59):
There's a big deal in your face.

Speaker 3 (08:02):
Let's play series sings?

Speaker 2 (08:06):
What song is siries? So called singing? Here Warren?

Speaker 8 (08:10):
Today is gonna be the day that they're gonna throw
it back to you?

Speaker 1 (08:16):
Well?

Speaker 2 (08:16):
Is that all you get?

Speaker 8 (08:19):
That all I get?

Speaker 1 (08:21):
I knew that away? She said, answer, what are you saying?
Do you know?

Speaker 2 (08:27):
Let's let's hear it again.

Speaker 9 (08:30):
Today is gonna be the day that they're gonna throw
it back to you?

Speaker 1 (08:37):
It's wonder war Are you're getting help? There weren't?

Speaker 2 (08:43):
Yes? Yes, question number four. This is multiple choice wise.
What's the Roman numeral for a hundred? Is it A, A, B,
B or C C. We'll go see your brains. Maybe

(09:08):
he was saying, did you say you don't see this
is what happened.

Speaker 3 (09:17):
This is what happens when Ryan's away. You know, I'm
getting a bit loose.

Speaker 1 (09:21):
Who was the lead actress? In Pretty Woman Warren Julia Roberts.
No help from there.

Speaker 2 (09:30):
Question six are you?

Speaker 1 (09:32):
Are you?

Speaker 4 (09:33):
You?

Speaker 2 (09:33):
Mate might be able to help you. Are you is
the atomic symbol for what?

Speaker 1 (09:43):
Sorry?

Speaker 7 (09:43):
What?

Speaker 1 (09:45):
And there we have it?

Speaker 2 (09:46):
And there we have it. That is question number six.
Are you is the atomic symbol for what?

Speaker 1 (09:53):
Podcast? You know what? I worked out?

Speaker 3 (09:54):
What's wrong with the new Channel ten news show? I
was watching it last night?

Speaker 2 (09:58):
Is this the one after the news news?

Speaker 1 (10:00):
This is d Hitchcock and Amelia Brace. I really like it.

Speaker 3 (10:03):
I think it's good. But it's long form news, and
we've moved on. Joe Public has moved on from long
form news. It's true everyone you scroll through the news.
So I was watching Channel nine news this morning, just
as a point of difference.

Speaker 1 (10:16):
Their news just bang bag bang. And there was a
story about this guy.

Speaker 3 (10:20):
These two guys were pursuing this miscreant thief type guy.

Speaker 1 (10:25):
Thief type thief type guy. Anyway, they're walking on.

Speaker 3 (10:28):
This guy is casually walking along and all of a sudden,
he breaks into a run, ends up in a Mint
of ten store. So the baddie the baddie. Then he
gets a hack saw chops. One of the guys that
were following.

Speaker 2 (10:39):
Him, so he picks it up from mine to ten shoplifting.

Speaker 3 (10:43):
And then the guy that gets chopped by the hack
saw goes to the butcher nearby and says, MANE, I
need I need a knife. Can I borrow a knife
to take on this miscreant? And then the butcher comes out.

Speaker 1 (10:52):
With a range of knives and does he pick one? Well,
you guys are I've got to get the miscreen I
you know, I don't want to do what's all for fish?
I think that's all.

Speaker 3 (11:01):
The fish knife then goes and the myscreenant takes a
minor ten truck, then leads a police chase from Ludnum
through to somewhere else, then get stuck in peak our
traffic and was peak our traffic?

Speaker 1 (11:14):
To save the day?

Speaker 2 (11:15):
Isn't gona add for min to ten?

Speaker 1 (11:17):
Mighty helpful? The magnificent seven.

Speaker 2 (11:23):
We are a question of a six is going to
Kathleen in Campsy Hello Kathleen.

Speaker 3 (11:28):
Kathleen, would you live in any other city in the world.

Speaker 1 (11:31):
No? No, you can go to your local butcher and say, look,
I'm chasing a criminal. Can you give me a knife?
What knife would you recommend?

Speaker 2 (11:39):
Can you carry those giant lades saw through bone. What
a terrifying what would you go into swords us question?
Since au is the atomic symbol for what, Kathleen, that's

(12:01):
what we are.

Speaker 3 (12:02):
Which renovation show hosted by Scott cam returns to our
screens this weekend.

Speaker 1 (12:07):
Ah, the blook that's.

Speaker 2 (12:11):
Made the Big music brand.

Speaker 1 (12:12):
Congratulations.

Speaker 4 (12:15):
Do you think.

Speaker 2 (12:17):
What's the theme of the new block?

Speaker 1 (12:19):
They're gone and to the sticks in Melbourne.

Speaker 2 (12:22):
I often wonder if they should combine with the show
alone and build them enormous houses while they're trying to
survive alone on the outskirts of Tasmania.

Speaker 1 (12:31):
And it gets a minor ten plugs in there as well,
might have ten cel compass scoping Andy.

Speaker 3 (12:37):
Congratulations to you, Kathleen, it's all coming away. You've won
the jam pack at one hundred dollars TVSN Shopping voucher
the Ultimate shopping Experience tickets.

Speaker 1 (12:46):
For you and three friend friends to four Letters of Love.

Speaker 3 (12:49):
This does Pierce Brosnan and Helena Bottom Carter. It's a
heart thought British Drama and Jones in Nomandic character choos
for you to color in some standard pencils, Cafeen anything
you'd like to.

Speaker 7 (12:58):
Add thank you myself.

Speaker 2 (13:00):
I'm real, We'll thank you perfectly.

Speaker 8 (13:04):
Jonesy and Amanda Podcast.

Speaker 3 (13:11):
I don't have to be defined, cauld I die or question.

Speaker 1 (13:16):
It is nice to be back. I just stumbing through
the German that our big book of musical.

Speaker 2 (13:21):
Fact which you got, fella, Well.

Speaker 1 (13:23):
This is interesting on this day.

Speaker 3 (13:24):
In nineteen eighty four, Don Henley released The Boys of Summer.

Speaker 1 (13:27):
Do you remember all the Grammys that song won?

Speaker 3 (13:29):
No Like in nineteen eighty four, it was just song
after award after award.

Speaker 2 (13:35):
After all, this is sort of beginning of his solo Yeah.

Speaker 3 (13:38):
Yeah, So he left the Eagles and they said, help
when hell Freeze is over, will.

Speaker 1 (13:41):
Never get back together again, And they did do that
back in the nineties, but it was all his time.

Speaker 3 (13:46):
The song topped the charts in over twelve countries, and
as I said, the music video won many many awards
and won Music Video Awards, Song Awards, and also made
a bit of a comeback in the two thousand. Do
you remember the euro trance cover by d J Sammy?

Speaker 2 (14:02):
No, yes, the producers are going off. They remember.

Speaker 1 (14:10):
That's when you were shelving your pigres top shell. Then
do you remember.

Speaker 3 (14:18):
What was I doing after that the punk rock cover
band The Ataris You.

Speaker 1 (14:22):
Remember what did they do? Sling a set of encyclopedias?
Now that's painful?

Speaker 2 (14:32):
What are we going to.

Speaker 1 (14:32):
Play the og? Come on, gam Have you ever had.

Speaker 2 (14:37):
A general anesthetic?

Speaker 1 (14:38):
Oh yeah, you've had a few.

Speaker 2 (14:40):
Coming out of the anesthesia, I get more and more anxious.
I've had a you know, IVF procedures, colonoscopies, hip replacements,
sometimes a colonoscopy. Those those ones are supposed to be
the light twilight ones. I'm assuming with my hip replacements
and things like that, he is a something a bit

(15:01):
more solid. But coming out of them and you start
to babble like an idiot. I remember once for my
first hip replacement, I was talking NonStop. This is what
can be embarrassing. And I remember you and I were
in the opening credits of Family Guy high kicking down
the stairs.

Speaker 1 (15:21):
Yeah is that real or not? Oh?

Speaker 2 (15:23):
Yeah, that's real. That's what happened. Brendan, very distraught your hips.
You went out drinking with Daryl Braithwaite and didn't remember
a single thing.

Speaker 1 (15:32):
We're both concerned.

Speaker 2 (15:35):
Coming out of an anesthetic isn't a pleasant experience. It's
it's discombobulating, and it's weird.

Speaker 1 (15:40):
It's like a hangover without the hangover.

Speaker 2 (15:42):
It's very strange. I have seen this footage of an
effort they're making in a hospital for well. The girl
looks like she's a teenager. And what they do is
they try and make the experience as pleasant as possible.
But picture yourself here, so you're pumped full of drugs.
Your brain isn't sure what's going on. You see next

(16:05):
to your hospital bed a dwarf horse, a miniature horse,
so you don't know, am I going crazy? Is that
a very small horse? And then the horse starts to
do this. This is a therapy horse, miniature therapy horse

(16:26):
that plays a piano with its nose next to your
bed as you're coming out of an anesthetic.

Speaker 3 (16:31):
Is that on a full sized piano or a miniature
one horse mini piano?

Speaker 1 (16:36):
It makes sense, Brend. It's hard to move around piano.

Speaker 2 (16:38):
And it can't play with its horse. It's obviously playing
with its snout, of course. But it's weird, isn't it.
My brother's friend was recently in Payliadiff care. He has
since passed away. It's a very lovely man. It's a
sad story. But when he's in palladive care, they brought
through support lamas, like therapy lamers.

Speaker 1 (16:57):
I wouldn't want any of that. If anything happens to me,
you don't want any of it. Ride a motorcycle, so
there's a good chance do not do.

Speaker 3 (17:03):
I don't want anyone dressed up as a clown. I
don't want these stupid clown doctors. I don't want little
kids singing songs to me. I don't want anything.

Speaker 2 (17:12):
We'll just put a bag over your head.

Speaker 1 (17:14):
Just keep the pill.

Speaker 2 (17:15):
When Harley had a sectomy reversed a number of years ago,
he was waking up from anesthetic and in the bed
next to him, a clown was waking up the man.
The wife had arranged for a clown to wake her
husband from anesthetic.

Speaker 3 (17:31):
What about Jane Barnes, Jimmy Barnes's wife, Remember Barnes, He
was coming out of the thing Jane or this sexy
nurse latex outfit.

Speaker 1 (17:40):
Remember that? Yeah, And then Jimmy goes, oh, good on
your meat. I appreciate that. And then Jane gets over
but I couldn't get it off sleep either. The jaws alive.

Speaker 2 (17:52):
You'd prefer sexy nurse to Lama.

Speaker 1 (17:55):
Actually, Jane Barnes said, sexy nurse outfit.

Speaker 2 (17:59):
Well, my dad was a hospital recently. He's ninety one,
and someone came around with a guitar to play. And
Dad can be a cerbic at the best of times
if he's not in the mood. And he's sitting in
the hospital, and I can see his lipstart to curl,
and my brother and I just looked at each other
and we said, Dad, don't, just don't they Dad had
to sit there and listen to someone saying somewhere over
the rainbow.

Speaker 3 (18:18):
Yellow gone him Red, jam Nations Gold one on one
point seven.

Speaker 1 (18:27):
Hello there, it is Jonesy and Amanda. It's nine to seven.
Let's get on down to the Jonesy a man a
rounds for the pub test.

Speaker 3 (18:33):
It's something we're just talking about this morning. And I
do it, yeah, and you find it slightly irritated. Out
of all the things that I do, that's the only
thing that you find.

Speaker 2 (18:41):
You're actually very very good at it. And I'm talking
about whistling. Can you give us some of your whistling?

Speaker 1 (18:47):
What do you want?

Speaker 2 (18:48):
I don't know me whistling, you know, not about cat calling.
I'm talking about musical whistling.

Speaker 1 (18:53):
Okay, I guess the tune.

Speaker 2 (18:54):
Okay, you know that he comes Miss America.

Speaker 1 (19:04):
Oh guns and Roses patients. When I'm out in the surf,
sometimes I just.

Speaker 2 (19:11):
Seem or you, I can't tell you blue a face.
I remember the era, and I think my parents had
the record of Roger Whittaker. The whole musical career based
on awful whistling.

Speaker 1 (19:26):
Is that his mouth?

Speaker 9 (19:28):
It's not.

Speaker 1 (19:29):
It's a pan flute.

Speaker 2 (19:34):
That's a pam flute. Surely Roger Whittaker used to whistle
on albums. You know it's a lost art because whistling
used to be a big deal musically. It was a
big deal that I know tribally It's meant a lot
of things through history, but in terms of entertainment, there
was a time when it was seen as a musical craft.
And then you get to today and I saw a

(19:55):
post on this someone said, no one wants to hear
you whistle. Stop whistling in public places. Just stop. Who
the hell is it for? Not one person around you
finds it charming, delightful or puckish or whatever it is
you're going for.

Speaker 3 (20:11):
And I tend to agree with that, unless it's Billy Joel.
I've been watching that Billy Joel documentary. But you remember
in The Stranger.

Speaker 2 (20:16):
Yeah, but if you're sitting in a cafe next to
me and doing that, I think it's a it's a
kind to cracking your knuckles.

Speaker 1 (20:26):
Have another drink bite.

Speaker 2 (20:27):
I think whistling is up there with cracking your knuckles,
even though, as I say, you're very good at it.
Give us one what Zepe gets another side?

Speaker 1 (20:33):
Do you want to do the Stranger?

Speaker 2 (20:40):
Has any Are other people impressed by your whistling?

Speaker 1 (20:42):
Well, this is the.

Speaker 3 (20:43):
Thing here we go during holidays. I'm in the dani
at a pub and I'm just whistling.

Speaker 1 (20:48):
Away when Kerry comes in and then add from the cubicle,
A dude's done the joining, the joining, the joiner on
the whistle.

Speaker 2 (20:57):
He starts whistling a lot.

Speaker 1 (20:59):
Remember the song is Treack by Dire Straits. I now
can't remember it.

Speaker 2 (21:03):
And he's whistling with you. That's a breach of etiquette.
How did you get out of the situation? Yeah, And
so what happens?

Speaker 3 (21:13):
And then he starts whistling and I'm talking how this
isn't a chorus line?

Speaker 2 (21:16):
Mate, because you're both in cubicle.

Speaker 1 (21:19):
Because I'm a man, I'm not one of those guys might.

Speaker 2 (21:22):
Be doing a number two exactly probably, but these joined
to do that at the you'd be whistling Dixie.

Speaker 1 (21:31):
Further away.

Speaker 2 (21:32):
What's happening here is we're talking about this in the
Jones in a man of arms for the pub test?

Speaker 1 (21:38):
What do you feel wh whistling?

Speaker 3 (21:39):
Do you like it someone's walking down the street and
they're whistling. Do you think, oh, that's nice?

Speaker 1 (21:43):
Like old mate in the cubicle, he joined in heed
he liked hearing you whistle.

Speaker 2 (21:47):
If you're in the loo and you hear someone at
the urinal whistling, do you like it?

Speaker 3 (21:51):
When I'm talking about when Amanda walks part the building sign,
I whistle up at that.

Speaker 1 (21:54):
It's not that, nothing to do with that. It's just
whistling in tune whistling. Does it pass the pub test?
Would love to hear from you, jam If I was
on the celebrity roast, I'd.

Speaker 2 (22:05):
Say he's got the smallest and meat, potato and the beers.

Speaker 1 (22:08):
Can we start with that? Tuesday, the twenty second of July.

Speaker 2 (22:11):
I saw something that instilled terror in my heart a
little bit of anxiety. There's a woman who has already
started her Christmas draw. By that, I mean she has
a draw especially for all her Christmas things, and she
started already putting things in it. So Christmas presents?

Speaker 1 (22:30):
Is it like a Christmas in July thing?

Speaker 2 (22:32):
No? No, No, she's getting ahead of the game in
buying things in the sales and putting them in the
draw for people for Christmas.

Speaker 1 (22:40):
Is this woman you know? Is there a gift for me?

Speaker 4 (22:42):
No?

Speaker 2 (22:43):
If I've ever ever bought an early Christmas present, and
I probably only once or twice my entire life, I've
forgotten that I've done it, and it's probably right now
still in my cupboard. That blue cheese is going to
make yourself known soon enough. But that how do you
feel you are Christmas planner?

Speaker 1 (23:01):
No goodness, No, I'm Christmas Eve. I'm out buying gifts
for people.

Speaker 2 (23:05):
You're getting scarnations from the server.

Speaker 3 (23:07):
Remember that one time I got your flight center man,
the fire of Glass flight Center Man.

Speaker 1 (23:11):
I was up in Mulembar.

Speaker 3 (23:12):
I was in a shop, a local brick a brac shop,
and there he was, and the guy wanted five hundred
bucks for it. I still give you it to fifty
and he said three hundred.

Speaker 1 (23:23):
We've got a deal.

Speaker 3 (23:24):
And then I had to drive home with it strapped
to the roof of the car.

Speaker 2 (23:28):
Yeah, little Priscilla looked like.

Speaker 3 (23:30):
I was carrying carrying a dead body because I wrapped
it up in a canvas.

Speaker 2 (23:35):
When they moved giraffes from one zoo to another, was
his head poking up at the top.

Speaker 1 (23:40):
So that's the only time I've ever bought a Christmas
gift early for you.

Speaker 2 (23:44):
Yes, well it's you know, I don't want to panic anybody.
Twenty second of July, people are already starting their Christmas shopping.
You to take a deep breath.

Speaker 1 (23:52):
Christmas gifts are so overrated. Now maybe you don't need
anything this year.

Speaker 2 (23:55):
I'm quite happy just for a gesture, although I got that.

Speaker 1 (23:57):
One with the middle finger like up and would like something.
Of course you would.

Speaker 10 (24:04):
Podcast where God right now?

Speaker 9 (24:10):
Now go to your windows, stick your head on a yell.

Speaker 1 (24:19):
Down to the Jonesy demant of arms, to the pub test?
And today whistling does it pass the pub test?

Speaker 2 (24:24):
I saw in a very interesting post someone put up
saying stop whistling in public?

Speaker 1 (24:28):
Stop?

Speaker 2 (24:28):
Who the hell is it?

Speaker 4 (24:29):
For?

Speaker 2 (24:30):
One person around you finds it charming, delightful or package.
No one says, what a catchy tune? Can we be friends?
You're not brightening anyone's day. You're making a loud, sharp
sound with your lips to draw attention to yourself, and
everyone wants you to stop.

Speaker 1 (24:42):
I just think it's like a you don't even know
you're doing it.

Speaker 3 (24:47):
I find that, And I didn't realize this until.

Speaker 1 (24:49):
I was doing it in the toilet, public toilet, and
a dude in the cubicle joined in.

Speaker 2 (24:55):
So you whistling as your WI.

Speaker 1 (24:57):
Want to do, and there's it starts whistling as well.

Speaker 2 (25:00):
Well, he's entitled to you. Was he mocking you?

Speaker 1 (25:04):
I don't know.

Speaker 3 (25:05):
I could have been at some sort of I could
have been sending a signal those gay beats. Next minute,
Alan Jones to myself someone you.

Speaker 2 (25:17):
Were saying, I do it all the time for my
own enjoyment, not yours. Enjoy the tunes punk as is
this personal?

Speaker 1 (25:22):
Well what about Billy Joel?

Speaker 2 (25:26):
Well for every one of him, there's.

Speaker 1 (25:28):
Someone who's what about guns and roses?

Speaker 2 (25:33):
Not even Axle could do this today. As someone else says,
here beep their self indulgent noise. Pollution.

Speaker 4 (25:39):
Just stop.

Speaker 2 (25:40):
How do you feel whistling? Does it pass the pub test?

Speaker 1 (25:43):
No?

Speaker 2 (25:43):
Not really, because when you're at work and you're trying
to concentrate and you have someone in your ear whistling,
it's so annoying.

Speaker 1 (25:51):
I can't stand it.

Speaker 10 (25:52):
Sometimes. I just got back from the Channel Island. There
was a kid that was about ten walking along whistling
the drunken sailors and he has like a crowd of
people follow him, all.

Speaker 7 (26:04):
Singing along with him.

Speaker 10 (26:06):
I was the best experience when.

Speaker 5 (26:08):
I knew with then I get like later, like anxiety triggers.
I just think it's the most annoying thing that you
could possibly ever have to eat them through. Used to
do it to me on purpose, and yet can't stand it.

Speaker 1 (26:22):
Definitely not. I hate you hearing people whistle when they're happy.

Speaker 11 (26:26):
That's worse. But then they get the ones who kind
of carry a tune or they're just whistling nonsense. For
God's sake, put a sock in it.

Speaker 1 (26:33):
No, it does not.

Speaker 12 (26:35):
My father in law like to whistle and then he
records himself whistling and plays it while we're eating.

Speaker 10 (26:42):
It definitely does not pass.

Speaker 1 (26:43):
The p Yes, we does past the top test.

Speaker 5 (26:46):
There's nothing more nicer than somebody whispling down the street
and a tune that you know it makes you feel
happy and just get all bubbly insight.

Speaker 1 (26:55):
It's true, there's nothing more nicer. The drunken sales song
is that.

Speaker 2 (27:01):
I think you should go to the Canary Islands. People
seem to like It'm all there.

Speaker 1 (27:06):
No fans here.

Speaker 3 (27:08):
I remember years ago when you were because you came
into a parent who's laid in life. I was like
a baby myself when my kids were born. But when
your boys were born, Liam and Jack, respectively, I remember
you saying at the time, when they get older, I
won't be able to hang with them because I'll be old.

Speaker 1 (27:22):
I'll be an old lady. Baba bah, I am an
old lady. You're not. You're not.

Speaker 3 (27:27):
And this is what's great about you, that trip that
you had, and I know what's going on in your
personal life, and it's just hard for you at the moment,
of course, and Harley can't travel, and I really my
heart breaks for you guys, and we don't talk about
it off and on air, but you traveling down to Tasmania,
which Jack just makes me happy, and you sending the
pictures and I just love your boys as my own.

Speaker 1 (27:50):
I know you do.

Speaker 2 (27:51):
I know you do, and it is hard and Liam
couldn't come. It's funny because I usually only socialized with
some very close friends and really with my son, and
I thought that might make things easier for Harley. But
it's hard actually because I think I really don't want
him to feel excluded from his own family. And the
kids come up. They don't live at home, but they

(28:12):
come over all the time. We have family dinner once
a week and the boys drop in throughout the week
as well.

Speaker 1 (28:18):
But it's really hard.

Speaker 2 (28:20):
That's but at the same time, I want the boys
to have time away from all that to or time
with me where we can talk about that. And Jack
and I spoke a lot about Harley while we're away,
but Jack's such great company. It was a shame Liam
couldn't come, but we had such a terrific time. There
was one night where the first night we got there,
you know, everyone, when you're always on holidays, you go
hard the first night and regret it for the rest

(28:41):
of the sign it's muck update. The first day is
muck update. I'd finished on the radio on the Friday
I flew to Hobart and we were walking around Salamanca Bay.
We had something to eat and I said, let's just
have one drink in this bar and that we'll call
it a nightlock six minute, it's twelve thirty. We've been
in some club, not club, it was a bar, you know.

(29:04):
Jack was obviously the youngest person there, and the next
day we were both just were so embarrassed at our behavior.
But it was such a great night to just.

Speaker 3 (29:12):
Let off like two merchant seamen on shortly matching tags.

Speaker 2 (29:17):
It was so refreshing just to let off steam. And
it's just great. But wherever I went, wherever we went,
and if I say to Jack, let's have a photo,
he'll do his big thumbs up and go, yeah, you
do it too. Guys find it very hard to have
a photo from about the thumb up. But he would
take a selfie of himself, just a close up of
him sculling a bee with a beer in front of
his face. And I said, what are you doing and

(29:38):
he said, he's part of a group. It started in
the UK and all his mates are in it too,
people from all over the world. And it's just called beer.
What you do is you take a photo of yourself,
you upload it and sculling a beer or just drinking beer,
and you can own other people can only respond in emojis.
These are the rules. No words are a loud you

(30:00):
can only respond with emojis. And if you get the
rules wrong, you get red carded. There's an emoji for
a red card and you're out. You are out. So
here's the things that can get you red carded. There
to be, for example, no women in any of the shots.
One guy apparently one of the he had a photograph

(30:21):
of himself sculling a beer. You could see a shoulder
of a girl in the background. Boom, red card turns out, okay,
you can't be a punse. One guy had his rugby
collar up and a jump around your shelves.

Speaker 1 (30:33):
Red card out? Does it depend on the beer one?

Speaker 2 (30:36):
But apparently they could detect that someone was drinking mid
strength Ah out.

Speaker 1 (30:41):
Have they detect the can in there?

Speaker 2 (30:43):
Well, maybe he did? Or the color of the beer.

Speaker 1 (30:47):
A clear picture of that watery be out because it's
just a close up of the beer.

Speaker 2 (30:51):
You should join Brendan, you'd get RSI from taking so
many photographs.

Speaker 1 (30:55):
I didn't come here for this maybe I did part
of this. Let me know.

Speaker 2 (31:00):
If anyone needs to join beer, I'll give you the detail.

Speaker 1 (31:04):
Write that down.

Speaker 8 (31:05):
So okay, gem Nation, Jonesy and Amanda.

Speaker 1 (31:09):
Podcast, Amanda and Jones You staying school and learned school?

Speaker 4 (31:17):
That's what stands.

Speaker 12 (31:19):
Yeah, okay.

Speaker 1 (31:20):
You know what I was enjoying last night is Mark Humphrey's.

Speaker 3 (31:23):
News show sold Who Broke the Australian Dream, which is
out on BINGJO. I say this because Mark Humphreys is
joining us on the show that he's a great fellow with.

Speaker 1 (31:31):
I loved his Channel seven segment that he did on
the show.

Speaker 3 (31:35):
But I saw him recently and I said, oh, that
have such a great segment on that show. But then
I felt like someone's patronizing mother. You know, when you're
doing something it gets canned. And you know, Mark Saidell,
thank you for that. You know, that's nice.

Speaker 2 (31:47):
He's got a very nice satia line on things, but
he's got a big heart. So this series looks sincerely
at where we've gone wrong with our housing industry.

Speaker 1 (31:55):
And there was an interesting bit it's about the Ralph Report.
I forgot about the Ralph Report.

Speaker 3 (31:59):
That's the Ralph It was a bunch of rich blokes
said we're going to change these tax laws to make
housing more affordable. But housing became less affordable, and this
politician flagged that there would be problems with this in
the future.

Speaker 11 (32:12):
This is a multi billion dollar free kick for the rich.
It will add, through the shoddy capital gains tax proposals,
to the great Australian disease of asset and property speculation,
particularly in our big cities. It will take away resources
from the knowledge economy and put them into the least productive,
least honorable aspects of Australian economic activity.

Speaker 1 (32:34):
You probably don't to hear the answers who that is?
Who is it?

Speaker 2 (32:36):
Mark Latham in a week of weird news about make
Relaism at a moment where he was sensible.

Speaker 1 (32:42):
With asset speculation. That concerns me because I've.

Speaker 3 (32:45):
Got property and you know I've worked hard to do
that by it all and then all of a sudden
the government say well, okay you can get them. And
you know you can't really cry pour on this sort
of stuff, but at all you try to avoid, as
Kerry Packers said, he only pays more tax than they
need to needs.

Speaker 2 (33:01):
They're head read, but it's created a situation where Australians
are finding very glad to get a foot in the door.

Speaker 1 (33:06):
It's like Super years ago.

Speaker 3 (33:08):
My dad said get your own Super when I first
started in radio, get your own Super because then the
government can't touch that. Now they can. So you try
to get in front of the government and you can't.
You know that's the.

Speaker 2 (33:22):
Well Mark has all the insights into what we're wrong
and where we are is going to be joining us shortly.

Speaker 3 (33:27):
Gem was good to see your hit TV show The
Piano get a run on Channel ten News yesterday.

Speaker 2 (33:34):
Yes, this is a really nice story when we do
the Piano, and this is a TV show where people
are just told to come down and play the piano.
A casting call, it's not even a casting call. A
call went out saying what do you love about the piano?
What's your connection to the piano? And people were selected
to come down and play public pianos in various parts

(33:57):
of Australia. And when we were filming it, you never
knew who you were going to get, who was going
to come. The producers had curated a group of people
to come and tell their story. And on episode three,
we're filming in Melbourne's Preston Market. So there's someone selling
vegetables and calling out about lettuce and stuff in the background,
and amongst all this, we had a public piano an
upwalked a man called Baha, and five months earlier he

(34:21):
and his family had fled Gaza. Their house was bombed,
his office was bombed, his piano was bombed. He and
his wife and three daughters were with him and they
were still suffering the effects of well, we've come to Australia,
we've escaped this, but what does this mean? What is
our future? He was a beautiful man to meet, and

(34:43):
so this was a story that delighted me when I
saw this yesterday.

Speaker 1 (34:48):
So tell me a bit about you. I have just
arrived to Australia about five months ago.

Speaker 2 (34:58):
I had to play a piano in less sense a left.

Speaker 6 (35:03):
Not only did it capture the hearts of shoppers, he
called the eye of the Home Affairs Minister, Tony Burke,
who decided to pay him a personal visit.

Speaker 11 (35:15):
We were watching and yeah, by the time he finished
playing like we were just a mess who had.

Speaker 4 (35:21):
Just been trying.

Speaker 6 (35:23):
After a meal and a performance, the ultimate surprise.

Speaker 1 (35:32):
I've got the paperwork over there in a bray Solder.

Speaker 3 (35:35):
I want to sign the paperwork today, which then means the.

Speaker 13 (35:38):
Next couple of days you'll be offered permanent versus.

Speaker 1 (35:50):
It's a nice, nice story.

Speaker 2 (35:52):
Do you want to try all over again?

Speaker 1 (35:53):
TV does good.

Speaker 2 (35:55):
We're doing another series of a piano the drama. No,
it's called the I.

Speaker 1 (36:00):
Don't think you're going to do the drum. You're reporting
all of them.

Speaker 2 (36:04):
That was a lovely story.

Speaker 1 (36:05):
That's a great story.

Speaker 2 (36:09):
Podcast Learning a Home has long been tipped to be
the Australian Dream? Is it the Australian dream? And is
it unrealistic to still have this as the Australian dream.
This is all being explored in a new docuseriies called
Soul Who Broke the Australian Dream by Mark Humphrey's make
I Oh, Hello Amanda in Jersey. Hello, So I remember

(36:33):
was it a couple of years ago were you in
passing mentioned publicly that you were renting and people were
shocked and almost outraged if you hadn't entered the housing market.

Speaker 4 (36:41):
They were annoyed at me.

Speaker 14 (36:42):
It was just like it was some sort of failing
on my part. And I just think that you know,
there's a third of us are renters, and for many
people it is just becoming yes, beyond a dream, it's
a fantasy, it's just not You just used to feel like, oh,
it's going to be really hard to get there, but
now it feels like, oh, I should just give up.
So there's no amount of coffees or avocado toast that
I can stop eating that is going to get me

(37:04):
across the line. And so it really is bleak out there.

Speaker 3 (37:07):
Now.

Speaker 14 (37:07):
If you own a home, you kind of once you've
crossed that threshold, you sort of got that relief, but
there's still this sizable chunk of Australians for whom it's
really really bleak.

Speaker 1 (37:16):
Psychologically, though it's getting over that hurdle. I remember when
I was young, I didn't think I would ever buy
a house.

Speaker 3 (37:21):
I didn't think and that was back in the nineties,
and I always thought that I'm not going to matter
afford a house.

Speaker 1 (37:27):
It's not going to happen for me.

Speaker 3 (37:28):
And then I remember I bought a house in Brisbane
which was cheap, and then when we came to Sydney
back home, I remember buying this house and it was
like three hundred and eighty seven thousand. I said that's
the most money that you could have. And I remember
thinking we're going to be eating two minute noodles for the.

Speaker 1 (37:43):
Rest of our lives. But it's that psychological step.

Speaker 3 (37:46):
And then someone said to me, they said, the bank
doesn't want to repossess your home.

Speaker 1 (37:51):
The bank is using you.

Speaker 3 (37:53):
To increase their wealth because you're buying the house.

Speaker 1 (37:58):
Is that true?

Speaker 14 (37:59):
Well, I mean, I mean, you know, as a rental,
you go from paying off someone else's mortgage to then
a homeowner and paying the bank.

Speaker 4 (38:06):
You're helping them out, so no one's winning, you know.
That's a thing. It's a rough across the board.

Speaker 2 (38:11):
My husband used to work for The Money Show years
ago as a producer and one of the things that
Paul Clithero, the host, used to say that, yes, if
you're not going to buy a house, that's fine, that's absolutely,
but put some money aside because what your house is
is supposedly a nest egg when you're no longer earning
a living. Is that still how that is seen?

Speaker 4 (38:32):
Well?

Speaker 14 (38:32):
I think I think people as the attitude that I've
seen in terms of people that have been looking to
buy or people who have bought, is that yes, they
expect that this is something that will increase in value.
And I think this is what we sort of talk
about in the documentary, that this is something This idea
of the housing must go up is almost really a
sickness that has taken hold in the last twenty five

(38:53):
years or so since some changes were made to some
tax incentives, and it's become so ingrained now that we
just think that's a standard thing that you buy a
house and the value goes up. But obviously that is
not a sustainable system for people who are trying to
enter the housing.

Speaker 3 (39:07):
Well, there was a guy that said it was his
name was Harvey Dent. Hang on, there's a bad guy
from Badans. Anyway, there was a dude that has been
saying the Australian pricing or house bubble.

Speaker 1 (39:15):
Is going to burst. So he was saying that, saying
that for you in twenty exactly.

Speaker 4 (39:19):
I'm still waiting for that.

Speaker 3 (39:21):
Yeah, But so what will happen while they get to
a point where all of a sudden houses won't be
worth anything?

Speaker 14 (39:25):
No, I mean there's I really ideally we would slowly
because you.

Speaker 4 (39:29):
Don't want to crash the housing market. I mean, that
doesn't benefit us.

Speaker 14 (39:32):
But the idea of slowly just pairing it back so
that houses ideally would just remain static, you know, or
not certainly not be advancing at the astonishing rate that
we've seen in recent years. So yeah, it's not about
suddenly wanting all housing to suddenly go down twenty percent,
but you know, realistically we need to just make changes they.

Speaker 3 (39:51):
Can foreign ownership, wouldn't you think like of old mate
from China comes over here and buys up sixteen houses.

Speaker 14 (39:57):
I mean you thought, you know, if you in this documentary,
that issue is so all these sort of hot button issues,
foreign investment, immigration, they're all covered in the documentary. I
can answer those questions now, or I can provide a
little bit of sizzle and tell people to get to
Benz on voxtell but.

Speaker 2 (40:14):
Is that true? I mean, what can you do to
stop the constant increase in prices? When you said if
we can manage that? But what are those things?

Speaker 4 (40:23):
Well?

Speaker 14 (40:24):
I mean, so the thing that we know, one of
the things that we're looking at with this is in
terms of yes, there were these changes that were introduced
regarding negative gearing and capital gains tax about twenty five
years ago, and that that really supercharged the market. So
every so often you see politicians like Bill Shorten, who's
in this documentary, who try to make changes to that,
but it is politically unpopular because the majority of people

(40:46):
are homeowners. That's about two homeowners to every one renter,
and so it's not really in the majority of people's
best interests to have any changes. And so that's the
difficult thing that we're trying to do with this documentary
is kind of get everyone to understand that as a society,
we all suffer if we've got a sort of excuse me,
sort of underclass of people, especially our essential workers. You know,

(41:06):
if nurses, if teachers, firefighters, the police, if they can't
afford to live in the city that they are servicing,
then we all suffer. So what is the value in
having a nurse doing a twelve hour shift and then
have to travel one and a half hours.

Speaker 3 (41:19):
You gave a nurse, a fire fighter or a police officer,
you just said he's a house a he.

Speaker 4 (41:24):
I mean, can you do that? Is that?

Speaker 1 (41:26):
Because remember in Russell proceed years ago, he said, why
don't we just give everyone a million bucks? I remember
the time thinking that sounds like a reasonable idea.

Speaker 2 (41:33):
But then you'd get get somebody saying, well, my job
isn't a nurses in't or whatever, but I need.

Speaker 4 (41:38):
To have sure exactly yes, I don't have the answer
that it was a very oprah winfree kind of you got.

Speaker 3 (41:43):
A hose because when she did that car thing, everyone
had to pay tax on the car.

Speaker 1 (41:48):
I'll today, all right, So she was doing old made
a favor.

Speaker 3 (41:51):
But all of a sudden the government I r I said,
are you I was seven grand for the car that
you got from.

Speaker 14 (41:56):
Open I think I remember the guy who won the
first season of Survivor. I think got on stuck. You
won a million dollars. But then there was a huge
tax bill.

Speaker 1 (42:02):
This is terrible.

Speaker 3 (42:04):
You've recently bought property, So how do you feel about that?

Speaker 4 (42:07):
Well, I mean, this is immense relief on one level, but.

Speaker 14 (42:10):
Then also that feeling of like, okay, so I'm thirty
nine now, so I'll technically properly own this house when
I'm seventy, and that's such a bizarre concept. And so yes,
it's a huge relief to not be yet, like I said,
paying off someone else's mortgage. But now, of course, you know,
every homeowner knows how much you're agonizing over interest rates.
You saw how when the Reserve Bank kept them on
hold that there was all this agony or we were

(42:32):
expecting a rate cut, and so you're suddenly you know
that you're now at the mercy of that process as well.
So it's just it's just not working for anyone. We're
also actually distressed. This is a funny documentary. I'm getting
quite worked up, but it is. There are jokes, it
sort of it helps the medicine go down.

Speaker 3 (42:47):
Well, welcome to the party, pal, It's a great show.
Soult Who Broke the Australian Dream is out now on
Binge and Fox. Tell Marke Humphrey's.

Speaker 14 (42:55):
Sec for you join us, Oh Jersey and Amanda what
a thrill?

Speaker 4 (42:57):
Thank you?

Speaker 1 (42:58):
Jer mean no podcasts free instance.

Speaker 2 (43:08):
And Amanda's.

Speaker 3 (43:10):
Rock on ten questions sixty seconds on the clock. You
can pass if you don't know an answer. We'll come
back to that question if time permits. You get all
the questions right.

Speaker 2 (43:17):
One thousand dollars, you can make it two thousand dollars,
but it's double or nothing. It's a bonus question and
you put it all on the line. Ian is in Lithgow,
Hi Ian, Hey here you go is Liftgo chilly this morning,
not as chilly as a big okay, what it's pretty
good your slug ohs and make it happen philly, And

(43:38):
let's see if we can get you some money. We've
got ten questions, We've got sixty seconds. If you're not sure,
say pass, okay, alright, Ian, good luck, because here we
go he comes. Question number one? What meal do you
get when you can buy in breakfast and lunch? Question two?
Nine to eleven is the emergency contact? In Which country
are the USA? Question three? Olf Stewart is a character

(43:59):
from which t V show? Question four? What shape is
a full moon? Question five? In what New South Wales
region would you find the three sisters? Question six? In
the nursery rhyme? Humpty dumpty? What did he fall off?

(44:20):
Question seven? Banana boat is a famous brand.

Speaker 4 (44:22):
Of what sunscreen?

Speaker 2 (44:24):
Question eight? K pop is a music genre popular in
which country?

Speaker 4 (44:29):
Career?

Speaker 2 (44:29):
Question nine. Cumulus and nimbus types.

Speaker 1 (44:32):
Of what shapes?

Speaker 2 (44:35):
No, they're clouds, Cumulus and nimbers. I have to say
you said, yeah, yeah, I'm thinking about that too, because it's.

Speaker 1 (44:46):
Round over this journal different to a circle.

Speaker 2 (44:49):
Yeah, it is too. Actually, we would have properly to
go back and correct.

Speaker 1 (44:52):
You'll blame Jim I right, because he's not here today.
I'm sorry.

Speaker 2 (44:55):
And you did so well until you didn't.

Speaker 1 (44:59):
Good luck with the slugger is in lit garden things.
Thanks guys, Thanks very business there, mate.

Speaker 2 (45:04):
Yeah, that's right. An oval is a different.

Speaker 1 (45:06):
Oval is an oval? Yeah? Like oval team. They don't
call it round team.

Speaker 2 (45:10):
But the mcg's a footy oval and that's round, isn't it.

Speaker 1 (45:16):
Yeah? You know I save this stuff to column mate mate.
Ye Sam, Well, let's.

Speaker 2 (45:22):
Talk about people who were taking the hell out of us.
We spoken about people who whistled your one of.

Speaker 1 (45:26):
Them, sorry Fartharm's clock that they stopped.

Speaker 2 (45:28):
Now is he joining sixty minutes?

Speaker 1 (45:30):
I'm John Vam.

Speaker 2 (45:33):
Your sister has a phrase twenty four hours.

Speaker 3 (45:35):
My sister murders phrases constantly, but her I think a
piece to resistance or pissed resistance. She'd say it's twenty
four hours seven. And I said, Anita, you've actually got
a phrase. It is so annoying, but you've made it
even more annoying. Well, it's twenty four seven, it's not
twenty four hours seven.

Speaker 2 (45:51):
And I's hope she can work out a clock because
she's a pilot.

Speaker 3 (45:54):
She's very good with the matsyah, very very good spelling
English dreadful.

Speaker 1 (45:59):
But that's I don't care about that, because when they're
flying the plane, you.

Speaker 2 (46:01):
Want them to be good at maths.

Speaker 1 (46:02):
You want them to be up in the air.

Speaker 2 (46:04):
I saw a snippet that someone had written about a
conversation they'd had. They're on the phone and to someone
who said, well, it's not rocket silence, and they said
rocket science. They said, no rocket silence, and the person said,
it's rocket science. He said rocket silence. Rocket's allowed. So
it's difficult to silence them. That's what it means, so
that it's not rocket silence. They've been saying all the time. Meg,

(46:25):
one of our producers here, she's got beauties. She thought
the phrase instead of in the water they've been in
the wars, was they've been in the walls. I don't
know what she thought that meant. And also we heard
instead of saying nip it in the bud, she was
saying nip it in the butt. In the butt, n
in the butt.

Speaker 3 (46:44):
Enough about your weekend. Yes, you know that's close, but no, chicken.

Speaker 2 (46:49):
Put your thinking kettles on and give us that's member.
We do it with the guys that put you thinking.
Kettles on what have you got for us? Close but
no Chicken? A phrase that's almost there but is irritatingly wrong.

Speaker 1 (47:00):
People actually home, I got that right?

Speaker 8 (47:06):
Podcast Jonesy and a Man during the Morning on Gold
one one.

Speaker 1 (47:13):
Seven, Close but no Chicken.

Speaker 2 (47:15):
You know when you get a phrase almost right, like
it's not rocket silence as someone heard meyg our producer
will say, instead of you're in the walls, will say,
you're in the walls. What did you think in the
walls meant like.

Speaker 8 (47:26):
You're running into the wall, like you're getting.

Speaker 1 (47:30):
Your head against the wall, passing your head against the wall.

Speaker 4 (47:33):
You're in the walls.

Speaker 1 (47:34):
It kind of makes what was the other one you had?

Speaker 2 (47:36):
You always thought nip it in the butt instead nipped
in the bud?

Speaker 1 (47:39):
And where does that come from?

Speaker 4 (47:40):
Like, get a move on, right?

Speaker 2 (47:43):
See it kind of makes sense.

Speaker 1 (47:45):
Meg is one of our top people.

Speaker 3 (47:49):
If anything, she's given us content and if you call.

Speaker 2 (47:51):
Up right now, chances that you'll be talking to a gemacious.

Speaker 1 (47:55):
The tribal drama is beating Close but no Chicken.

Speaker 2 (48:00):
This is what happens when you almost get a phrase
right it's like, well it's not rocket silence. Well, Meg's
ones are in the walls.

Speaker 3 (48:06):
In the walls and in the butt, but in the
butt my sister. Twenty four hours seven, not twenty four
to seven.

Speaker 1 (48:12):
That's already an irritating phrase. But twenty four hours se Yeah.
I remember.

Speaker 2 (48:15):
We used to work with a guy wh said put
your thinking kettles.

Speaker 1 (48:17):
On Andrew Dennen, good morning.

Speaker 2 (48:19):
It wasn't him.

Speaker 1 (48:19):
I don't think really bad.

Speaker 2 (48:21):
But you know a phrase it's almost right that you
can't convince someone that that's not it.

Speaker 1 (48:26):
We've got Susie of Melaba, Hello, Susie U.

Speaker 10 (48:29):
See oh hello.

Speaker 7 (48:31):
First of all, love love, love your shirt. You always
make me laugh.

Speaker 1 (48:34):
That's nice to hear. Thank you. Tell everyone.

Speaker 8 (48:37):
Well.

Speaker 7 (48:38):
I've got two stories that I tell again and again
again because I'm a primary school teacher and I teach
drama and the importance of nunciating and Ozzie speak pretty
roughly or we need to be more clear. And for
years I've got a teacher friends who used to think
that God's first name with Peter Pete and Peter, thanks

(49:01):
Peter God, Thanks Peter God. Or the response to the church.
You know that Jo and The other one I tell
all the time is oh I forgot that. Oh my goodness,
I've got a memory block. Well, happy with Peter God
jeers cheers, I know when you clean glasses. English is

(49:22):
my second language, so I thought, until I was an
adult that it was cheese and the often cheese, and
wine and crackers with the with the wine. And then
I realized I was saying the wrong word. It's cheer.

Speaker 2 (49:34):
It's not cheese, wine and some cheese. I'm happy.

Speaker 3 (49:41):
I remember I worked with a Lemonese concrete and when
he'd swear, you know, for f's sake, he'd say, for
F safe, and I just.

Speaker 1 (49:52):
Like to and I actually say it now.

Speaker 2 (49:54):
I say and often because you're amused by it. You
don't correct them, just like.

Speaker 1 (50:00):
Say yeah nice.

Speaker 2 (50:02):
I know you almost beat the wrong word for yourself
with us.

Speaker 12 (50:06):
Hello, d Hello, good morning.

Speaker 1 (50:08):
How are you very well? You said?

Speaker 15 (50:10):
What?

Speaker 5 (50:11):
Okay?

Speaker 12 (50:12):
So my girlfriend had just had a break up and
I was consoling hair and she was crying. She just
said to me, I love you. We're as thick as cheese.

Speaker 2 (50:23):
Instead of thick.

Speaker 7 (50:25):
Yeah, and I'm like.

Speaker 2 (50:28):
Cheese and she's upset, and I just started laughing and
some of us are a little.

Speaker 1 (50:37):
Cheese and you do get some pretty heavy cheese. You
some thick cheese?

Speaker 4 (50:41):
Is there?

Speaker 8 (50:42):
Jonesy and Amanda.

Speaker 9 (50:44):
Podcast, We're always knocking a mandaknocking.

Speaker 3 (50:55):
The tribal drama is beating for close but no chicken.
Well known phrases that are being given a different spin
My sister, for example, twenty four hours seven.

Speaker 2 (51:04):
Mega a producer who says she's in the walls, meaning
in the walls.

Speaker 1 (51:09):
Yeh, nip it in the butt, nip it in the butt.
We just had figures cheese, which we do like Nathan's
in Baryl, good morning, how are we very well?

Speaker 2 (51:19):
What have you heard?

Speaker 8 (51:21):
I've got a.

Speaker 7 (51:21):
Friend of mine that that mixes too sayings.

Speaker 8 (51:23):
He either says it's not brain science or it's not
rocket surgery.

Speaker 2 (51:29):
That would hearra take the hell out of me?

Speaker 1 (51:31):
Does he do it?

Speaker 15 (51:31):
Yeah?

Speaker 6 (51:32):
Well I feel like he does sometimes, but I think
he's just stupid.

Speaker 1 (51:36):
Really fair enough and good morning Nathan's friend.

Speaker 2 (51:39):
Thank you, Robins, Joan, Hi, Robin, what phrases you?

Speaker 10 (51:43):
Well, I've got a friend of mine and it always
seems to be the friends who do it.

Speaker 7 (51:47):
Yeah, cut off your nose, despise your face.

Speaker 1 (51:50):
Oh, spies your face. That's great.

Speaker 2 (51:54):
Cut off your nose, despise your face rather than to
spice your face.

Speaker 3 (51:57):
In case anyone's yeah, very that is it's almost like
for all intensive purposes.

Speaker 1 (52:03):
Because it's for all intents and purposes. People say, for
all intensive purposes.

Speaker 2 (52:06):
That is excellent. Thank you, Robin.

Speaker 1 (52:08):
Sam's with us over to you, Sam.

Speaker 2 (52:10):
What's the phrase morning?

Speaker 12 (52:13):
I've got a beautiful friend who mixes phrases up continuously,
But one of her best ones she combined too. Instead
of every man and his dog and every Tom, Jick
and Harry, it was every man in his dick was there.

Speaker 7 (52:26):
She was talking about a market. She went to a busy.

Speaker 12 (52:28):
Market, and she was just explaining how busy it was
every man and his And we're like, oh, okay.

Speaker 2 (52:34):
That's actually not a bad one. That's not a bad one.
You know, maybe you should have done some of these
will be staying them for too long.

Speaker 12 (52:44):
Absolutely, And one of her favorite, one of ours is
she loves to say it's duck's water, mate, just ducks.

Speaker 1 (52:50):
Waters, ducks water.

Speaker 2 (52:52):
That would make my unclench.

Speaker 1 (52:55):
I think ducks thinkers cheese? Or is it duck's water?

Speaker 2 (52:59):
So good? We've loved Thank you, Sam.

Speaker 3 (53:01):
Thank you, thank you for all your course Sam podcast
I've got gen Z explained yesterday.

Speaker 1 (53:08):
I hate getting gen Z.

Speaker 2 (53:09):
It's like Man's Plain, but by someone younger.

Speaker 3 (53:11):
It's always, you know, always, if you're ordering food or
something on your phone, a gen Z will go, yeah,
give me your phone, I'll do it.

Speaker 2 (53:18):
But they actually take the phone away, so you never
get to see how they're doing it.

Speaker 1 (53:21):
They might say, all your dps, gotta be careful with that.
What your dps?

Speaker 3 (53:26):
You know, you know exactly anyway, extra Mark Latham, I
got a text on my phone saying that I'd missed
a package and was at the post office.

Speaker 1 (53:35):
I've been going to the post office a lot lately.
What are you ordering?

Speaker 3 (53:39):
Our families just ordered stuff and we've got a few
different posts has come. We've got one post that comes
down and he delivers all the packages, which are great,
that's the job. Then we got another post that just flows,
you know, knocks on the grass.

Speaker 1 (53:50):
No one's any so we've got that. I just, you know, busy, thought, okay,
I'll just get out of the post office. And they've
got some good stuff in the post office as well.

Speaker 2 (53:59):
Those lamp things I saw that you'd purchased one.

Speaker 1 (54:03):
They're so good. Yeah, and you've got like you.

Speaker 2 (54:05):
Can dress like a miner. Go to a blue light disco.

Speaker 1 (54:10):
They got salad spinners?

Speaker 2 (54:12):
Do they suddenly salad spinner?

Speaker 1 (54:16):
A salad spinner?

Speaker 2 (54:18):
I was, how random?

Speaker 1 (54:19):
Yeah, So I'm in the but I went at the
worst time. I went at the old Lady time eleven
forty five.

Speaker 2 (54:24):
Everyone's up to buy a sad.

Speaker 1 (54:26):
There's a lot of.

Speaker 3 (54:27):
Old ladies, and I thought, well, you know, I don't
mind her to sort of stand and get the vibe.

Speaker 1 (54:32):
And it was interesting because it was a guy there
trying to pick up some mail.

Speaker 3 (54:35):
A friend of his had passed away and didn't leave
a whill or anything like that.

Speaker 2 (54:40):
Is this what you gleaned from the conversation?

Speaker 1 (54:41):
Just standing listening to this guy?

Speaker 3 (54:43):
And I thought, this is how they're going to handle this,
because when you die, the guy's gone. Only for he
was alive, I could ask him anyway. So he wanted
to access his postbox, but that didn't work out. So
I was in the queue, and then as I got
to the front, I wasn't really paying attention to the text,
and as I got there, I said, I'm just going
to pick up this package, and I say, turn my
phone around.

Speaker 1 (55:03):
I got it and I went, I know this is
a scam text.

Speaker 2 (55:05):
Oh no, how did you figure that out?

Speaker 3 (55:06):
Because it said at the bottom and you said, it's
said yes or no, text yes to you know, to
arrange time to pick it up. But I've handed the
phone to the girl behind the counter. She ses, and
then she just does this. Yes, see what happens. That's
a scam text. So what we tell people like you,
old man, is that you don't want to get scammed

(55:29):
by the man.

Speaker 1 (55:30):
So I had to sit through that.

Speaker 2 (55:32):
I said, yeah, yeah, I know you don't like a lecture.

Speaker 7 (55:34):
I know.

Speaker 1 (55:35):
I'm here to see the salad spin up. Yeah, pick
it up for my friend.

Speaker 2 (55:39):
She's passed away, but she said.

Speaker 1 (55:40):
That gets my goolies. That's a fair case.

Speaker 2 (55:44):
Actually that's a very good ghoulie. If you have a goolie,
please share it with the class. You can win twenty
thousand dollars if your favorite goolie of the year.

Speaker 1 (55:50):
Go to it via the iHeartRadio app.

Speaker 3 (55:52):
Thanks to missell stocks and gravies, that money could be
yours jam Nation.

Speaker 2 (56:04):
How handy would it be to win twenty thousand dollars
just for having a winge. That's what you can do
thanks to Misselle stocks and gravies with gets my.

Speaker 1 (56:11):
Goolies, Andy, as, what have we got? What gets my goolies?

Speaker 9 (56:14):
As you think, I'll just stuck into the shops, grab
a few things. So you grab a basket, but two
come up, so you shake the absolute shizer out of
it and they won't come apart, and you're pulling prime, sweating, huffing, puffing.

Speaker 7 (56:27):
You go down.

Speaker 15 (56:29):
So then you go grab a trolley. Same thing, two
trolleys stick together. Unbelievable. It really gets my goolies. Eventually
I give up and just carry everything open, carry in
my arms.

Speaker 1 (56:40):
You've got a raw docket and carry all your groceries.

Speaker 2 (56:42):
And there's always a few things too many, and you
feel fool cut.

Speaker 1 (56:45):
You're on supermarket sweet?

Speaker 2 (56:47):
Well that toilet paper, sir?

Speaker 1 (56:49):
What else have we got? What gets my goolies is
the dry through any dis here.

Speaker 14 (56:56):
I see it with my pre ordered coffee behind the
caful of people going.

Speaker 1 (57:02):
Ummmm, what do you want?

Speaker 3 (57:06):
Um And then they turn to the kids and they're like, m.

Speaker 4 (57:13):
It's McDonald's. You know what they sell, know what you want?

Speaker 3 (57:17):
Well, that's a new ad campaign, public service announcement, out
with the bad with the good. If you dipped out,
you're going to always contact us via the iHeartRadio app.
Twenty thousand dollars cash thanks to to Sell Stocks and
Grabies sit Podcast one point seven Backstreet Boys.

Speaker 2 (57:35):
Have you seen any of the show that they're doing
in the Dome in Vegas?

Speaker 1 (57:39):
Is it the Global the Dome?

Speaker 2 (57:40):
I can't remember, but that big round thing and these
special effects are extraordinary. I'm sure you can see someone
on YouTube. The opening bit of that show looks mind blowing.
It really does.

Speaker 1 (57:50):
We're going to take the focus away from there.

Speaker 2 (57:53):
From the elderly nature of the band, hearing their bones creak. No,
Apparently they're amazing.

Speaker 1 (57:59):
Apparently. Aparently it's seven to nine.

Speaker 2 (58:04):
My favorite faced w spacebook friend. When's a double pass
to Keith Urban's High and Alive World Tour?

Speaker 4 (58:11):
Is it?

Speaker 1 (58:11):
Kudos?

Speaker 2 (58:12):
August twenty two to twenty three tickets from Keith Urban
dot Com.

Speaker 3 (58:15):
Special effects There, the tribal drum was beating for close
but no chicken.

Speaker 2 (58:20):
You know those phrases that you get wrong. Someone was
saying that they'd heard it's not rocket silence. He said
it's not rocket science. Mega producer here says she's been
in the walls rather than in the wars. Here's d
from French's forest.

Speaker 12 (58:33):
So my girlfriend had just had a break up and
I was consoling hair and she was crying. She just
said to me, I love you. Where as stick as cheese.

Speaker 1 (58:43):
That's quite the compliment. Where is thinkers and that's you
and I? Where is the thickers cheese? Or as thickers
to bricks? No? Is that what you say?

Speaker 2 (58:54):
I think a stick as a brick?

Speaker 1 (58:55):
Figures are right? That's enough. Of course we.

Speaker 2 (58:59):
Are going to be back from your jam nation.

Speaker 1 (59:02):
What are we doing on the show tomorrow? It's Wednesday,
isn't it. TikTok Tucker? That's right? Pucker up, yeah, what
are we doing? Any any plans?

Speaker 2 (59:09):
I'm not going to tell you. It's a secret.

Speaker 3 (59:11):
No special guests coming in. Madigan is pressing his little
face against the window. He has the golden ticket to
the biggest music event of the week, the Radio Music Festival.

Speaker 2 (59:22):
I've been to this once. It is extraordinary. If you
get a chance to go, please do.

Speaker 3 (59:27):
It's sharing John Foggery more in five The Offspring and
more to come. We'll be back, as Amanda says for
jam Nations, So we'll catch you at six tonight.

Speaker 1 (59:34):
See you then, good day to you. Well, thank god
that's over.

Speaker 4 (59:38):
Good goode wipe.

Speaker 8 (59:43):
You Catch Jonesy and Amanda's podcast on the iHeartRadio app
or wherever you get your podcasts. Catch up on what
you've missed on the free iHeartRadio app