July 28, 2025 • 5 mins
FAFO parenting is the latest trend parents are buzzing about right now.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
And Amanda gam Nation.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
It's interesting, isn't it.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
We've had the era of well, maybe we're still in
the era of free range parents, of snowplow parents who
remove obstacles to make love easy for their kids.
Speaker 3 (00:14):
Free range parents, though, aren't they the ones?
Speaker 4 (00:16):
They are kids a great deal of freedom, just do
whatever the hell they want.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Gentle parenting.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
It's called, by and large this new I read an
article just this morning in the Wall Street Journal. The
headline was Goodbye gentle periling of parenting. Hello, f around
and find out faith, muck around and find out if
you'd rather a mako kind of a mafoo, doesn't it
(00:43):
Some of the parents are ditching the softer approach they're
saying to child rearing and taking a harder line. They're
going to out feral their they're feral. So this article
calls it FEIFO, f around and find out. And it's
based on the idea that parents can ask and warn,
but if a child breaks the rules, Mum and dad
aren't standing in the way of the Repercussions could be
(01:07):
as simple as didn't bring a raincoat, walk home at
a downpour, don't feel like having lasaigna for dinner. See
if you can survive till breakfast. Left your toy on
the floor again, it's in the bin under the lasagna.
Parenting that's light on discipline has dominated the culture in
recent decades, it says, But critics blame this approach for
some of gen Z's problems in adulthood, surveys that show
(01:30):
young adults are struggling with workplace relationships because they were
never told no, suffering from depression and anxiety because their
parents lend in to all of their problems.
Speaker 2 (01:40):
So maybe there's something in this. It's interesting, isn't it.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
But others are saying that this parenting debate is reflecting
the debate in wider society, the divide and wider society.
The paradigm of gentle parents versus faithfaux parents is kind
of a saying here snowflake kids versus marga kids. Political,
but in the style hardline parenting is necessary for a
(02:04):
child's survival in a harsh world. Has said this particular
faith O father. He said, the era of the participation
trophy is over. It's caused us all to get a
bit soft.
Speaker 3 (02:15):
I kind of agree with that as well. I think
that's true.
Speaker 4 (02:19):
But having said that there's bits from both sides.
Speaker 1 (02:21):
There are, and why can't we raise kids with both sides?
I know the big point is to be consistent. This
woman here has said that by being a gentle parent
all that mindful adulting has robbed parents of their freedom
as well, because we tipped our around our kids' emotions
all the time, where our whole lives are geared around
if are our kids okay? And someone else has said
(02:44):
here that that gentle parenting is okay. It's a good
idea that she said, how come feelings have now been
equoted with raising equated with raising snowflakes?
Speaker 2 (02:54):
That feelings are weak?
Speaker 1 (02:56):
She said, I'd rather not scare my children into obedience,
but have them trust me. If my kids are in trouble,
I don't want them to say Mom's going to be
mad at me. So people feel weird about creating a
generation of soft kids.
Speaker 4 (03:11):
To have a bit of that fear as well for
the kid that there's going to be consequence.
Speaker 1 (03:14):
Well, this same woman who has said I want I
like gentle parenting apparently then posted a picture of a
bike mark on her child's arm because she said, my
kid bit me last night, and I.
Speaker 2 (03:23):
Bit her that, and there you go and there you go.
Speaker 1 (03:26):
At some point we have to teach our kids that
there are consequences and there are repercussions.
Speaker 4 (03:33):
But as a kid growing up in the seventies and eighties,
my whole life is marked by moments where other people
disciplined me, whether it be the brother's school when I
was at the Catholic school, they beat the hell out
of you, or just to see but that doesn't that mates, Well,
I remember one time, as soon as you're just talking
about this, I remember I was one of my dad's
mates places swimming in the pool with a diving mask on,
(03:56):
and I got out of the pool and I through
the diving mask being kid on the ground, so I
sort of got up to the edge of the pool,
took it off, plopped back in the pool. Next time
I came up, my dad's mate grabbed me and cracked
me on the head and said, that's a two hundred dollars.
Speaker 3 (04:11):
Diving mask, mate, They cost a fortune. And my dad's standing.
He didn't say anything, and he was a full on
crack on the.
Speaker 2 (04:17):
Head, see, and he's saying that's a good thing.
Speaker 4 (04:20):
From that moment, like here I am at fifty seven,
and I've remembered that as clear as DYEA Possibly that
made me in a way think about other people's stuff
because I look in I've got a lot of cool stuff,
and kids will come thinking it's a good thing. Look,
I'm not saying it's a good thing, but I'm just
saying it's certainly. Whenever I near a diving mask, I
(04:40):
treat it with care.
Speaker 2 (04:41):
Whatever I near a diving mask, I go into a
fetal position.
Speaker 3 (04:43):
And so for an hour, if I see Jacques Cousteau.
Speaker 2 (04:47):
You can go break down and.
Speaker 3 (04:51):
You're at the shops.
Speaker 1 (04:52):
But modern parenting, we all talk about how we can't
help ourselves.
Speaker 2 (04:56):
We want to be our kids friends, and that's not
our job.
Speaker 3 (04:59):
You can't And there's a.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
Fine line between.
Speaker 1 (05:02):
But as this woman says, you don't want your kids
to be frightened of you. You want them to trust you.
There's a lot of issues that shades of gray all
through this. But maybe we are coming out of the
gentle parenting and heading more into the f around and
find out parents here. But as you say, a combination
of A and B would be good
And Amanda gam Nation.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
It's interesting, isn't it.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
We've had the era of well, maybe we're still in
the era of free range parents, of snowplow parents who
remove obstacles to make love easy for their kids.
Speaker 3 (00:14):
Free range parents, though, aren't they the ones?
Speaker 4 (00:16):
They are kids a great deal of freedom, just do
whatever the hell they want.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Gentle parenting.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
It's called, by and large this new I read an
article just this morning in the Wall Street Journal. The
headline was Goodbye gentle periling of parenting. Hello, f around
and find out faith, muck around and find out if
you'd rather a mako kind of a mafoo, doesn't it
(00:43):
Some of the parents are ditching the softer approach they're
saying to child rearing and taking a harder line. They're
going to out feral their they're feral. So this article
calls it FEIFO, f around and find out. And it's
based on the idea that parents can ask and warn,
but if a child breaks the rules, Mum and dad
aren't standing in the way of the Repercussions could be
(01:07):
as simple as didn't bring a raincoat, walk home at
a downpour, don't feel like having lasaigna for dinner. See
if you can survive till breakfast. Left your toy on
the floor again, it's in the bin under the lasagna.
Parenting that's light on discipline has dominated the culture in
recent decades, it says, But critics blame this approach for
some of gen Z's problems in adulthood, surveys that show
(01:30):
young adults are struggling with workplace relationships because they were
never told no, suffering from depression and anxiety because their
parents lend in to all of their problems.
Speaker 2 (01:40):
So maybe there's something in this. It's interesting, isn't it.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
But others are saying that this parenting debate is reflecting
the debate in wider society, the divide and wider society.
The paradigm of gentle parents versus faithfaux parents is kind
of a saying here snowflake kids versus marga kids. Political,
but in the style hardline parenting is necessary for a
(02:04):
child's survival in a harsh world. Has said this particular
faith O father. He said, the era of the participation
trophy is over. It's caused us all to get a
bit soft.
Speaker 3 (02:15):
I kind of agree with that as well. I think
that's true.
Speaker 4 (02:19):
But having said that there's bits from both sides.
Speaker 1 (02:21):
There are, and why can't we raise kids with both sides?
I know the big point is to be consistent. This
woman here has said that by being a gentle parent
all that mindful adulting has robbed parents of their freedom
as well, because we tipped our around our kids' emotions
all the time, where our whole lives are geared around
if are our kids okay? And someone else has said
(02:44):
here that that gentle parenting is okay. It's a good
idea that she said, how come feelings have now been
equoted with raising equated with raising snowflakes?
Speaker 2 (02:54):
That feelings are weak?
Speaker 1 (02:56):
She said, I'd rather not scare my children into obedience,
but have them trust me. If my kids are in trouble,
I don't want them to say Mom's going to be
mad at me. So people feel weird about creating a
generation of soft kids.
Speaker 4 (03:11):
To have a bit of that fear as well for
the kid that there's going to be consequence.
Speaker 1 (03:14):
Well, this same woman who has said I want I
like gentle parenting apparently then posted a picture of a
bike mark on her child's arm because she said, my
kid bit me last night, and I.
Speaker 2 (03:23):
Bit her that, and there you go and there you go.
Speaker 1 (03:26):
At some point we have to teach our kids that
there are consequences and there are repercussions.
Speaker 4 (03:33):
But as a kid growing up in the seventies and eighties,
my whole life is marked by moments where other people
disciplined me, whether it be the brother's school when I
was at the Catholic school, they beat the hell out
of you, or just to see but that doesn't that mates, Well,
I remember one time, as soon as you're just talking
about this, I remember I was one of my dad's
mates places swimming in the pool with a diving mask on,
(03:56):
and I got out of the pool and I through
the diving mask being kid on the ground, so I
sort of got up to the edge of the pool,
took it off, plopped back in the pool. Next time
I came up, my dad's mate grabbed me and cracked
me on the head and said, that's a two hundred dollars.
Speaker 3 (04:11):
Diving mask, mate, They cost a fortune. And my dad's standing.
He didn't say anything, and he was a full on
crack on the.
Speaker 2 (04:17):
Head, see, and he's saying that's a good thing.
Speaker 4 (04:20):
From that moment, like here I am at fifty seven,
and I've remembered that as clear as DYEA Possibly that
made me in a way think about other people's stuff
because I look in I've got a lot of cool stuff,
and kids will come thinking it's a good thing. Look,
I'm not saying it's a good thing, but I'm just
saying it's certainly. Whenever I near a diving mask, I
(04:40):
treat it with care.
Speaker 2 (04:41):
Whatever I near a diving mask, I go into a
fetal position.
Speaker 3 (04:43):
And so for an hour, if I see Jacques Cousteau.
Speaker 2 (04:47):
You can go break down and.
Speaker 3 (04:51):
You're at the shops.
Speaker 1 (04:52):
But modern parenting, we all talk about how we can't
help ourselves.
Speaker 2 (04:56):
We want to be our kids friends, and that's not
our job.
Speaker 3 (04:59):
You can't And there's a.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
Fine line between.
Speaker 1 (05:02):
But as this woman says, you don't want your kids
to be frightened of you. You want them to trust you.
There's a lot of issues that shades of gray all
through this. But maybe we are coming out of the
gentle parenting and heading more into the f around and
find out parents here. But as you say, a combination
of A and B would be good
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