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July 13, 2025 • 10 mins

When was the last time your sphincter tightened when taking your kids out?

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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Jersey and Amanda gam Nation rate the monarch's birthday, there
was the tripping of the color. This is in London,
a ceremonial event performed every year on horse Guards Parade
in London. What the reason I'm bringing this up? Beautiful pageantry,
all the rest of it, and all the young royals,

(00:20):
Prince George, Princess Charlotte and Prince Louis are all wheeled
out for this. It's a big, a big royal day.

Speaker 2 (00:28):
Now.

Speaker 1 (00:28):
How old is Louis now? I see about seven? I think, yeah.
Everyone's trying to rite. They think he's a cheeky one,
and so the public are looking very closely at him.
And all I can think of is how excruciating this
would be for his mother. Because lip readers are now involved.
The BBC employs the lip readers two or on Sky
News Sorry to try and see what the royals are saying,

(00:52):
and so far, so good. I think there was some
audio of little Louis saying to his brother when they're
in the carriage. I don't even know if Kate's there.
They're in the car and he's saying, should we wave?
Let's both wave at the same time. It's so sunny yay.
But in the past Louis has been girning, pulling his
fingers in his mouth and oooh, all sorts of things.
It must be very hard to be Kate Middleton and

(01:15):
try and be on top of this because this time
apparently her the lip breaders the Daily Mirror or the
Mirror had employed, were saying that she said to him
to national anthem, Louis, stand up national anthem. So she
constantly has to school them, and imagine what she has
to say behind the scenes to say, don't be an idiot.
People are watching you here, don't gurn and what they

(01:36):
see is that he's sort of waving and being fool
and George's saying stop because George has to be the
older brother. So people are goading Louie to go crazy,
and Kate's sphincter must be the tightest thing in the universe.

Speaker 3 (01:48):
Kate pressure.

Speaker 1 (01:50):
We all know what it's like to be a parent
when you're terrified your child.

Speaker 4 (01:54):
Is going to remember those days when you take your
kids somewhere and the minute.

Speaker 1 (01:58):
That you see someone looks unusual you think, oh my.

Speaker 3 (02:00):
God, he's fat. People terrible from other lands.

Speaker 1 (02:03):
I've had to get anxious when you're there.

Speaker 4 (02:07):
One day we had the trifecta. I just had to
put my hand over his mouth for go, let's go.

Speaker 1 (02:11):
Was it Dominic?

Speaker 3 (02:12):
Yeah, Dominic. And he was the least one that would
say anything.

Speaker 1 (02:15):
Yeah, it can be exhausted, romany.

Speaker 4 (02:18):
You know, you just accept that you would say something
and more than was always considered. But dom and then
one day I can't repeat what he said.

Speaker 1 (02:25):
Yeah, it's terrifying. Heard, Yeah, of course it's terrifying.

Speaker 3 (02:29):
Who is this kid?

Speaker 1 (02:30):
Yeah, what you said?

Speaker 3 (02:31):
It's a lost kid. There's awful over someone lost their kid.

Speaker 1 (02:36):
The tribal drama is going to beat for this. He's
how we're going to phrase it. My sphincer tightened when
the kid edition, don't be the boy. Don't be the boy.
It could be someone coming into your own home. It
could be you out in the streets when you see something.
What has it been?

Speaker 4 (02:54):
Andy with a big mole on her face and her
hair spratting out of it.

Speaker 1 (02:57):
I'm sorry anything, Marie, How are you?

Speaker 5 (03:01):
I'm good?

Speaker 1 (03:02):
How are you very well? Thank you? Tell us what happened?

Speaker 5 (03:06):
My daughter, she was about three or four, Madison. We
were doing the shopping and we were going through the checkout,
and there was a lady in front of us, and
she said, Mummy, is that a lady or a man?
And this lady turned around and said to me, and
I was trying to shush her and Madison that is.

(03:28):
And this lady turned around and said, I should teach
my daughter some manners.

Speaker 1 (03:31):
Wow.

Speaker 5 (03:32):
And I didn't know what to say. I didn't apologize,
of course, what.

Speaker 1 (03:36):
Can you say? The kids a little? What can you do?
My dad has an eyepatch. He doesn't wear it anymore,
but for a while he was wearing because his eye
had dropped and helped him keep his balance. The number
of kidsd say, is there, Captain Mumm, here's a pirate
and the parents would be embarrassed and they all the
parents would laugh, thinking isn't my child charming? And Daddy go,
well there, and I think what if dad had cancer

(03:57):
of the eye or something? Yea, it depends which side
of the equation. And you're on as to how charming
you find children like this.

Speaker 3 (04:04):
Francis has joined us.

Speaker 1 (04:05):
Hello, Francis, tell us what happened?

Speaker 6 (04:08):
So this is my eldest child. He was going into
high school, so he would have been about nine or ten.
So we were going to a Catholic all boys private
school interview, so we prepped him up with all the
scripture and everything because that's what we thought they were
going to ask. So, of course you get into the
interview and the interviewer asked, my son, so have you

(04:31):
heard about our school? And my son said yes, and
he said what have you heard about him? He said, oh,
that all the boys are tools and they're all gay.
And I did that there, going oh my god, and
you can't have any reaction. I just smiled inanely and
then you know, he sort of coroughed and me said, well,
you know that's not quite right. You know, the school

(04:52):
is quite progressive.

Speaker 3 (04:54):
Blah blah blah.

Speaker 6 (04:55):
Then he went on the next question was, so what's
your favorite book? You know, do you like reading? Yes,
what's your favorite book? He said, the day my bumb exploded.
And at that point, my shin story is about to explode.

Speaker 1 (05:06):
We get in.

Speaker 6 (05:08):
He actually was accepted, but we decided against because we
thought it wasn't right for it.

Speaker 3 (05:17):
To get in there.

Speaker 4 (05:19):
What time your smoke breaks?

Speaker 1 (05:25):
Extra all tools and they're all going to take more
of your calls.

Speaker 4 (05:28):
Jess As joined a sallow Jess.

Speaker 5 (05:31):
Good morning.

Speaker 7 (05:32):
So it wasn't nice thing.

Speaker 8 (05:33):
So, but my grandparents think the tied me. When growing
up we used to spend sometimes we'd spend school holidays
and we'd stay at my grandparents place. But this particular
time we stayed and we stayed over a weekend as
well as during the week and my grandparents were quite religious,
but we didn't grow up religious. They were Catholic, so
they decided it was a great idea to take us

(05:54):
to church with them.

Speaker 9 (05:56):
So they got us all dressed up, and so we
knew that we had to be polite and behave We're
in our best clothes, knowing that that's what we're about
to do. And as we walk into the church, and
my grandparents were like great members of the community, walk
in and they're saying hello to everybody. And as we
walk down the aisle to get to our pew, my
brother shouts out, he was about six or seven, there's

(06:18):
that made out there on the cross.

Speaker 2 (06:20):
Why he had nails through his hands.

Speaker 6 (06:22):
What's going on?

Speaker 3 (06:23):
What's going on, Jesus, what do they do to that guy?

Speaker 1 (06:30):
Little hathen? Oh, Jess, thank you.

Speaker 3 (06:34):
You know, you can't blame a kid for asking, so.

Speaker 1 (06:36):
When the grandparents are big members of this church community
and he's this ignorant child, how embarrassing? Hello Kyliehi guys,
how are you very well? What happened?

Speaker 2 (06:48):
Growing up? I had this lovely neighbor around the corner
and she had a beautiful son. He was special needs
and the woman's friend's husband passed away, and it was
still pretty raw, and it was the first time she
was having her over for afternoon tea. So she went
to great length to explain to her son, you know,

(07:09):
please just don't mention the husband, because you know, she's
still very upset. Anyway, so the woman comes over and
they're having a lovely afternoon tea and she's, you know,
they're having a nice conversation and you know, she's comforting
her and then John appears out of his bedroom and
she says, oh, hi, how are you And the first
words out of his mouth was, oh, Hi, how's your

(07:29):
husband that died? Oh right, And they were also gobsmack
that they just all burst out laughing.

Speaker 1 (07:37):
I have to laugh at that. How has your husband
that's died? Hello Matthew, Hello Amanda, Hello Jonesy, how are
you very well? Matthew?

Speaker 2 (07:49):
What happened Well.

Speaker 5 (07:51):
Back in the day, we had an accountant who you
would say was rather vertically.

Speaker 7 (07:56):
Challenged, and he came around one night for us, signed.

Speaker 6 (08:00):
Some papers, and as he walked in the door, my
seven year old I just looked up and looked at
him and went, who brought the dwarf?

Speaker 9 (08:10):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (08:10):
And was he a dwarf?

Speaker 6 (08:13):
For well, no, no, it wasn't a dwarf.

Speaker 5 (08:15):
He's just a short guy there.

Speaker 7 (08:18):
My son Aaron just had away with words.

Speaker 1 (08:24):
Breeze, thank you, Matthew.

Speaker 3 (08:26):
Marianne is with Mary Anne.

Speaker 1 (08:27):
What's happened?

Speaker 7 (08:28):
Well, good morning, James and Amanda. Many years ago, I
was catching the train into the city, which was an
how long trip with my five year old son and
three year old daughter, and an elderly man wearing a
turban got into our carriage for the rest of the trip,
at which point my son jumped up with glee, yelling, mom, Mum,

(08:49):
it's a Jeanie, it's a genie. I'm going to ask
for three wishes. And the elderly man didn't really not
was what was going on. And I'm trying to keep
him quiet, sit him back down, and he's going just
an ice cream mummy won't care. I'll just ask for
one wish. What about a turtle?

Speaker 1 (09:08):
What about a dog?

Speaker 7 (09:09):
And this went on and I'm trying to, you know,
stifle him the whole way for an hour. And we're
in that carriage where you sit and face each other.
So the whole time it was whispering loud about wishes
and the genie, and I just couldn't get into it
with him.

Speaker 1 (09:25):
How exhausting. I used to pinch my kids on the
back of the arm and they say, why are you
pinching me? Oh, Mary Anne, that's tough. Just an ice cream? Belinda, Hello, Belinda,
what did you hide up to?

Speaker 7 (09:40):
Well, when my child's about six, we had the plumbers
and he had two of his off siders there with him.

Speaker 5 (09:45):
When we're saying good bye, my six year old run
out to tell them all that I had a hairy vagina.

Speaker 4 (09:50):
Oh my god, Oh my god.

Speaker 7 (09:54):
And I hope you listening to this with he's twenty two.

Speaker 1 (09:58):
Now, Oh, what.

Speaker 5 (10:03):
Can you do but stand there in the.

Speaker 4 (10:05):
Smallttan what why why?

Speaker 1 (10:12):
Well, at that age that they just builded information and
the plumbers had probably pulled all that hair just out
of a plug.

Speaker 3 (10:19):
Oh can you make it a job lot. This has
been exhausting.

Speaker 1 (10:26):
Kate Middleton should feel a lot better about her situation. Yeah,
that's all. Just breathe, that's all just breathe.

Speaker 3 (10:36):
As a matter of fact, I do
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