Geoff Hutchison: It's A Cautionary Tale

After years behind the microphone, retired ABC radio host Geoff Hutchison had met more than his fair share of grumps. Determined not to become one himself, he penned a book - How Not to Become a Grumpy Old Bugger, which explores why ageing so often brings out the curmudgeon in Australian men, and what could be done to resist the slide into grumpiness. Tune in to hear the full conversation. 

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Here's a name you probably know, Jeff Hutchison. Good morning.

Speaker 2 (00:03):
Jeff.

Speaker 1 (00:04):
Of course, did the drive program and ABC Radio for
a bit.

Speaker 2 (00:08):
A bit in the morning program for a bit longer.
And I'm trying to think how many times I played footloose.
Probably not a lot.

Speaker 1 (00:14):
N No, it's all right. We've played it enough to
make up for the other side.

Speaker 2 (00:19):
There. It's a favorite.

Speaker 1 (00:20):
Jeff has a book out. It's called How Not to
Become a Grumpy Old Bugger. It sounds funny, it looks funny,
and it probably is in part funny, but it's not.
Don't be fooled. This is not just a straight up
comedy book, is it, Jeff. This is a cautionary tale.

Speaker 2 (00:35):
It's a question convinced me.

Speaker 3 (00:36):
Here, Jeff, I've got my notes hand ready because I
think I might be heading down there shorthand now.

Speaker 2 (00:41):
Because you've got a notepad, it tells me that you
probably accumulate grumpy moments, and a lot of us do,
and a lot of men do. Okay. It's almost as
if it's this self fulfilling idea that there's a pothole
outside the front of our house, and you know, the
council wont file but you have to go and stand
at the window every day and go, and then at
the end of the day you look at your partner

(01:02):
and go, they haven't filled it. I haven't filled it.
But you're back there the next day just to be
disappointed again. We could fill it.

Speaker 1 (01:08):
But you prefer to have something to be annoyed about.

Speaker 2 (01:12):
Yes, so Russell, it's good to have. It's okay to
be grumpy. And I list lots of things in the
book to make people laugh that you can be grumpy about.
But there is a point with a lot of men
where there's a tendency as we get older and we're
not maybe we're not working or we were defined by
our work. We're living smaller lives. We've got fewer friends
because we're bad at we're bad at keeping friends.

Speaker 3 (01:35):
We men are notorious for that, aren't they.

Speaker 2 (01:37):
Yeah, and our partners are infinitely better at it. So
we'll be sitting at the kitchen for Mike a table
saying Beryl, where's my dinner? And Beryl's already hot air
ballooning in Turkey because she's reached an age where she
doesn't want to just live this small. So the argument is,

(01:58):
if you've got so many of these grieves. It does
make your world really small. Yeah, and you stop being
kind to yourself, and you stop being kind to other people.
And I've had example, I've used this example a bit.
You know, you don't really know why your son isn't
coming over to the watch the Foot on Friday nights anymore.
But the answer is you don't stop talking about the
players haircuts to be bad. They used to play And

(02:23):
Alex Pears, the Fremental Doctors captain is in a chapter
in this book too, talking about what it is like
to be thirty year old Alex playing football compared to
when he arrived at the club all those years ago.
And you know, we talk about going to the GP.
We talk about serious issues, you know, violence and anger. Yeah,

(02:43):
and we talk about living with regrets and not being
a prisoner to regrets as you get older. And really,
you know, if I could distill a whole book, but
I still want you to buy it, thank you very
much on Father's Day. Yeah. And actually women should buy
it too. Yeah, well they will buy it and then
want to give it to a bloke. But I'm beginning
to read it first though, I'm beginning to think there

(03:04):
are things here that may not be entirely.

Speaker 1 (03:06):
Of a guide to the older gentleman, you.

Speaker 2 (03:10):
Know, just to live a bit easier and distilling it
by saying.

Speaker 1 (03:13):
Because he's not going to tell.

Speaker 2 (03:14):
Us, okay, I'm going to give you the life for advice.
Go start to go easy on yourself and start to
go easy on other people. And I know that sounds like, wow,
that's airport wisdom, isn't it, But it is. It's it's
you know, I think a lot of blokes get to
a certain age where they think life's not going to

(03:34):
get better. Yeah, and it can, but you have to
be prepared to give you know, someone else a turn
on the swing, or acknowledge that the world is changing,
or you may not understand a trans person. But you
don't have to be angry about the idea forever. It's
not impacting your life.

Speaker 1 (03:55):
No, that's right.

Speaker 2 (03:56):
So it is that thing what really matters and what
doesn't know I.

Speaker 1 (04:00):
Said about marriage equality. If you don't like, you know,
gay marriage, don't marry a gay person. You're out. That's
all you know, your envelopment need be.

Speaker 2 (04:09):
And I know blakes get really wounded and feel really
sort of thwarted, and you know in the world of
taught back radio that I was on at the AVC,
the most annoyed, frustrated, angry, disappointed people were all male
callers and often very concerned about things that had very
little impact on their lives. So this is an invitation,
and look, I had to get the tone right or

(04:30):
Blakes would never read it. It's an invitation to Blakes.
I reckon from ages forty and onwards, so you don't
become like your dad, to just have a look at
what your life is like, how you're getting on with
your partner, what your relationships like with your kids and grandkids,
and ask yourself, can I be having a better time
than I'm having? And I'm sure the answer is yes.

Speaker 3 (04:53):
It's about letting go too, I mean, because some people
perceive you, to perceive you as being grumpy because you've
lived for a while, and you go, well, okay, I've
experienced lots of things. I know what I like, I
know what music I like, and I know what movies
I like, and I don't you know, so I don't.
I'm not interested in new music anymore, which is you know,

(05:13):
you get to that stage and that's just because you
know what you've been there. You know what you like,
you know what you don't like. But that can be
perceived as being Oh.

Speaker 2 (05:21):
It can be. But here's the thing. It's it's like
I make a big joke about watching reality television and
Love Ireland. Farmer wants a wife. Farmer doesn't want a wife.
He just wants someone to help him with the mules.
He shouting and old blokes go, who watches this rubbish?
And their partners usually go other people. They don't make
it for you, and you know it's not made for you,

(05:45):
So it's so don't need to judge it and don't
watch it.

Speaker 1 (05:49):
That wraps So that sort of wraps up.

Speaker 3 (05:50):
Facebook doesn't comments throw some mulesing into married.

Speaker 2 (05:57):
What about mulesing on Love Island? I think they have.

Speaker 3 (06:02):
It should be complaints.

Speaker 1 (06:07):
Well, as we said, this has Father's Day present written
all over it. I must say I also love that
you have expert advice from Maggie Dent in the book
because her focus is like raising men. You're raising men
and maybe.

Speaker 2 (06:25):
Can I get you to read what she wrote on
the back cover, because I just about cried when she
sent it to me. Front she very kindly said that
this book could save marriages and save lives. And then
I went through the book and went, I don't remember
writing that, but the essence being, the essence being that,
just just pause. You know you are not on a

(06:46):
train to misery as you get older, and there is
just a real opportunity and.

Speaker 1 (06:52):
It should be fun.

Speaker 2 (06:53):
It should be fun, and it can be fun.

Speaker 3 (06:55):
Doesn't ask, don't buy a don't buy a ticket on
that train, catch the other one.

Speaker 2 (06:59):
Got one thing written down, I have you.

Speaker 3 (07:02):
Go easy on yourself, go easy on other people. You said,
write it down, I.

Speaker 1 (07:07):
Jeff, thank you so much for coming in, and thank
you for the book.

Speaker 2 (07:10):
Thank you so much.

Speaker 3 (07:12):
Thank you, and good luck with the book.

Speaker 2 (07:13):
Father's Day is coming.

Speaker 3 (07:14):
Go buy it.