October 14, 2025 • 6 mins
Once again Barra and Russell offered up fatherly advice to other parents. Today a text from Debbie asking if it's OK to tell your kids that you don't like their haircut or new tattoo plus Barra talks about helping kids (even older ones) deal with grief after his beloved pug Lily passed away last week.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
Chat with Russell and Barrel.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
We have a text from Debbie and Bifer if they
speaking of haircuts? Is it okay dads to tell your
child you don't like their new haircut or piercing or tattoo.
If so, what is the best way to say it?
Or should I just keep my mouth closed and support
their choices no matter what?
Speaker 1 (00:25):
Not under this route?
Speaker 3 (00:28):
You know what I would do there, Russ, what would you?
Speaker 1 (00:30):
Would you do it?
Speaker 3 (00:32):
I wouldn't once it's happened, obviously.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
Not what I would do.
Speaker 3 (00:34):
No, no, no, just no, no no. I would have
the same reaction in some circumstances, but I just reckon.
Once it's happened, you can't put the genie back in
the bottle. There's no use sort of making it worse
by sort of getting a tattooyah. So you've got to prepare,
prepare for these things. And if you see some chat
(00:55):
amongst the group that you know there might be a
piercing going on, or perhaps are going to and they're
talking tattoos, I think you've got to have the chat.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
You've got to listen. Can we just have a chat
about this.
Speaker 3 (01:06):
I just need to tell you a few things about
tattoos and the regret that perhaps you have down the
track and you may not still be going out with
Johnny anymore.
Speaker 1 (01:15):
Make sure your tattooers can spell.
Speaker 4 (01:17):
That's always a very very important don't take it look out,
I don't.
Speaker 1 (01:21):
Get those Chinese emblems. Don't do it up there, do
it here, do it where it's safe.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
Yeah, and you're right, don't lock yourself into one name,
boyfriend or girl because you've.
Speaker 1 (01:30):
Got itos no regrets.
Speaker 3 (01:34):
Quite of the odds. So I think somehow you've got
to be in contact with your kids, communicating and say, look,
can we discuss it?
Speaker 1 (01:40):
Just depends on how old the kid is too.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
Yeah, it sounds like they're old. If they're old enough
to do it without your permission, permission or anything, maybe they're
old enough that you've got to just look. Because I
wasn't allowed to get my ears pierced until I was
thirteen thirteen thirteen?
Speaker 4 (01:54):
Yeah, how old were you, Barrett when you were allowed
to get.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
I got one piece?
Speaker 3 (02:00):
My friend did it for me.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
Danger, the danger with a nice block and a needle.
The only yeah, the only distractor.
Speaker 3 (02:07):
The only disclaimer I will have is that if you
do win a premiership you can get a tattoo whenever
you like.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
Yes, just get it after the final siren, not before.
Speaker 3 (02:18):
That helps them.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
Yeah, so good.
Speaker 3 (02:22):
Is this a hard transition because I wanted to talk
today about it. I'm not saying I'm super Dad either,
by the way, neither you. We don't have all the
answers right, and I have balls things up and I
did in this circumstance because sadly we lost our family
dog this week. Oh yeah, Lily Pug. And there's a
(02:42):
lot of emotional long mate, it's a lot of emotional load.
Fifteen years I was known as the pugg. I was
known as the pug Man of soup. Was because I
had three pugs and it was very funny seeing me
walk three pugs, you imagine with no neck, so there's
a bit of a laugh around the joint. So we've
lost all three now, so it's kind of end of
an era. And beautiful little pug called Lily fifteen. You know,
(03:07):
she's with us during the COVID lockdowns and all all
that sort of stuff, part of the furniture. In the end,
she had this neurological issue where legs just wouldn't work.
So there's no sort of choice about it, but it's
always trickies and the vet gently tells you it's time,
and you think, am I doing the right thing? And
they go, yes, you're doing the right thing, But you
never want to make that decision. And that's the thing
(03:28):
about dogs. Their only floor is that they don't live
long enough.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
That is their only floor.
Speaker 3 (03:35):
And I think going in.
Speaker 2 (03:36):
Fifteen, it's not a bad innings, it's a good innings.
Speaker 1 (03:38):
But still the longer than around two, the more attached,
of course, you become harder it gets.
Speaker 3 (03:43):
And my daughter's twenty one, so she's had him since
she was six. You know, my son's twenty.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
So sincere's really no life without.
Speaker 3 (03:51):
No and so I think you have to prepare that,
I reckon that's a bit of something I learned, is
that you've sort of got to tell them. Look, you know,
having a dog, it's the most it's a great many
many great great days and then there's going to be
one horrible day. Yeah, and I know that's terrible to ye,
that's probably not the way you're on a school, But
dads have to carry the can sometimes too, because you
don't always get the perfect goodbye as well, like for example,
(04:14):
with Maddie. She had to work and stuff and it
came on us really quickly. So she feels like she
didn't get to say goodbye properly. And so you just
got to carry that, Russ. If that happens to you,
you just go to that.
Speaker 4 (04:24):
Well, I'll cop that so inevitably it will, yeah, yeah,
and not for a long time.
Speaker 3 (04:30):
I think the things I learned were you don't always
get to fix the grief, and you can't make everyone
feel better straight away because you know, when you're a
dad or you feel like you've just got to fix it.
Dad's always want to fix stuff.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
This isn't on you as a dad, though, This is
just this is life. And I think, as you said,
there's the awful time that you have, but I think
you learn more from that awful time then you don't,
do you know what I mean exactly right. It's a
tough thing to learn. But in terms of, you know,
for life, I think you learn from having and losing
(05:05):
an animal.
Speaker 3 (05:06):
Yeah, well, well dogs, that's what they do. They teach you.
They teach us about love. I'll just say, they teach
you about love, and then when they depart, they teach
us about loss exactly.
Speaker 1 (05:17):
That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 4 (05:18):
I grew up on a farm, so I've seen a
lot of dogs and go so in a way, I'm
kind of prepared. But I don't know that I've ever
been as attached as I am to the one that
we have.
Speaker 1 (05:28):
Now, so it's still different.
Speaker 3 (05:31):
Well for kids, it's probably their first real heartbreak too. Yeah,
and you know what, that's not a bad thing, because
you know when you had your first boyfriend and you
thought you loved him forever and then he broke your heart. Yeah,
then I think after that it's not as painful.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
As it well, I mean yeah, I think it's all
part of life's learning. I'm so sad he's gone. I'm
so sorry to all of you.
Speaker 3 (05:55):
I didn't know if that was an appropriate chat about,
but I just thought there to his most families, YEA,
love the dog. They're the greatest, most joyous, magnificent creatures.
Absolutely love them. And then we still haven't got one.
Speaker 2 (06:08):
So are I pay little.
Speaker 3 (06:12):
Beautif there's so beautiful pugs? No noses?
Speaker 1 (06:14):
Yeah, the little snuffly things. Snor well, Yes, story Friday,
we'll talk, We'll talk sport
Chat with Russell and Barrel.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
We have a text from Debbie and Bifer if they
speaking of haircuts? Is it okay dads to tell your
child you don't like their new haircut or piercing or tattoo.
If so, what is the best way to say it?
Or should I just keep my mouth closed and support
their choices no matter what?
Speaker 1 (00:25):
Not under this route?
Speaker 3 (00:28):
You know what I would do there, Russ, what would you?
Speaker 1 (00:30):
Would you do it?
Speaker 3 (00:32):
I wouldn't once it's happened, obviously.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
Not what I would do.
Speaker 3 (00:34):
No, no, no, just no, no no. I would have
the same reaction in some circumstances, but I just reckon.
Once it's happened, you can't put the genie back in
the bottle. There's no use sort of making it worse
by sort of getting a tattooyah. So you've got to prepare,
prepare for these things. And if you see some chat
(00:55):
amongst the group that you know there might be a
piercing going on, or perhaps are going to and they're
talking tattoos, I think you've got to have the chat.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
You've got to listen. Can we just have a chat
about this.
Speaker 3 (01:06):
I just need to tell you a few things about
tattoos and the regret that perhaps you have down the
track and you may not still be going out with
Johnny anymore.
Speaker 1 (01:15):
Make sure your tattooers can spell.
Speaker 4 (01:17):
That's always a very very important don't take it look out,
I don't.
Speaker 1 (01:21):
Get those Chinese emblems. Don't do it up there, do
it here, do it where it's safe.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
Yeah, and you're right, don't lock yourself into one name,
boyfriend or girl because you've.
Speaker 1 (01:30):
Got itos no regrets.
Speaker 3 (01:34):
Quite of the odds. So I think somehow you've got
to be in contact with your kids, communicating and say, look,
can we discuss it?
Speaker 1 (01:40):
Just depends on how old the kid is too.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
Yeah, it sounds like they're old. If they're old enough
to do it without your permission, permission or anything, maybe they're
old enough that you've got to just look. Because I
wasn't allowed to get my ears pierced until I was
thirteen thirteen thirteen?
Speaker 4 (01:54):
Yeah, how old were you, Barrett when you were allowed
to get.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
I got one piece?
Speaker 3 (02:00):
My friend did it for me.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
Danger, the danger with a nice block and a needle.
The only yeah, the only distractor.
Speaker 3 (02:07):
The only disclaimer I will have is that if you
do win a premiership you can get a tattoo whenever
you like.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
Yes, just get it after the final siren, not before.
Speaker 3 (02:18):
That helps them.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
Yeah, so good.
Speaker 3 (02:22):
Is this a hard transition because I wanted to talk
today about it. I'm not saying I'm super Dad either,
by the way, neither you. We don't have all the
answers right, and I have balls things up and I
did in this circumstance because sadly we lost our family
dog this week. Oh yeah, Lily Pug. And there's a
(02:42):
lot of emotional long mate, it's a lot of emotional load.
Fifteen years I was known as the pugg. I was
known as the pug Man of soup. Was because I
had three pugs and it was very funny seeing me
walk three pugs, you imagine with no neck, so there's
a bit of a laugh around the joint. So we've
lost all three now, so it's kind of end of
an era. And beautiful little pug called Lily fifteen. You know,
(03:07):
she's with us during the COVID lockdowns and all all
that sort of stuff, part of the furniture. In the end,
she had this neurological issue where legs just wouldn't work.
So there's no sort of choice about it, but it's
always trickies and the vet gently tells you it's time,
and you think, am I doing the right thing? And
they go, yes, you're doing the right thing, But you
never want to make that decision. And that's the thing
(03:28):
about dogs. Their only floor is that they don't live
long enough.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
That is their only floor.
Speaker 3 (03:35):
And I think going in.
Speaker 2 (03:36):
Fifteen, it's not a bad innings, it's a good innings.
Speaker 1 (03:38):
But still the longer than around two, the more attached,
of course, you become harder it gets.
Speaker 3 (03:43):
And my daughter's twenty one, so she's had him since
she was six. You know, my son's twenty.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
So sincere's really no life without.
Speaker 3 (03:51):
No and so I think you have to prepare that,
I reckon that's a bit of something I learned, is
that you've sort of got to tell them. Look, you know,
having a dog, it's the most it's a great many
many great great days and then there's going to be
one horrible day. Yeah, and I know that's terrible to ye,
that's probably not the way you're on a school, But
dads have to carry the can sometimes too, because you
don't always get the perfect goodbye as well, like for example,
(04:14):
with Maddie. She had to work and stuff and it
came on us really quickly. So she feels like she
didn't get to say goodbye properly. And so you just
got to carry that, Russ. If that happens to you,
you just go to that.
Speaker 4 (04:24):
Well, I'll cop that so inevitably it will, yeah, yeah,
and not for a long time.
Speaker 3 (04:30):
I think the things I learned were you don't always
get to fix the grief, and you can't make everyone
feel better straight away because you know, when you're a
dad or you feel like you've just got to fix it.
Dad's always want to fix stuff.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
This isn't on you as a dad, though, This is
just this is life. And I think, as you said,
there's the awful time that you have, but I think
you learn more from that awful time then you don't,
do you know what I mean exactly right. It's a
tough thing to learn. But in terms of, you know,
for life, I think you learn from having and losing
(05:05):
an animal.
Speaker 3 (05:06):
Yeah, well, well dogs, that's what they do. They teach you.
They teach us about love. I'll just say, they teach
you about love, and then when they depart, they teach
us about loss exactly.
Speaker 1 (05:17):
That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 4 (05:18):
I grew up on a farm, so I've seen a
lot of dogs and go so in a way, I'm
kind of prepared. But I don't know that I've ever
been as attached as I am to the one that
we have.
Speaker 1 (05:28):
Now, so it's still different.
Speaker 3 (05:31):
Well for kids, it's probably their first real heartbreak too. Yeah,
and you know what, that's not a bad thing, because
you know when you had your first boyfriend and you
thought you loved him forever and then he broke your heart. Yeah,
then I think after that it's not as painful.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
As it well, I mean yeah, I think it's all
part of life's learning. I'm so sad he's gone. I'm
so sorry to all of you.
Speaker 3 (05:55):
I didn't know if that was an appropriate chat about,
but I just thought there to his most families, YEA,
love the dog. They're the greatest, most joyous, magnificent creatures.
Absolutely love them. And then we still haven't got one.
Speaker 2 (06:08):
So are I pay little.
Speaker 3 (06:12):
Beautif there's so beautiful pugs? No noses?
Speaker 1 (06:14):
Yeah, the little snuffly things. Snor well, Yes, story Friday,
we'll talk, We'll talk sport
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