October 28, 2025 • 8 mins
After Producer Suzy received the wrong beauty product, Lisa and Russell wanted to hear what items have been substituted in your online shopping.
The first story had the guys laughing and fuelled an abundance of puns, but there were SO many more surprises in your calls.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Online shopping.
Speaker 2 (00:01):
Oh, I'm very versed in it.
Speaker 3 (00:04):
However, I don't do my my grocery shopping online.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
No, I go more use to the Amazon and all
of that.
Speaker 3 (00:13):
Anything sort of absolutely anything else, just not grocery shopping.
But we were talking about it the other day and
because you know, quite a lot of people around the
office do do it.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
I have done it any time, have you? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (00:25):
Yes, evidently I didn't realize this happened.
Speaker 3 (00:28):
But if you order something and they don't have it,
they will take it upon themselves to substitute it with
something else. I was actually ordering flowers online for my
mum's birthday the other day, and the florist did say,
if we don't have those flowers, we will substitute it.
And it's like, well, there's not much I can do
about it. So anyway, Susie, our producer, she ordered some
foundation one day, as in makeup okay, and they didn't
(00:51):
have the color she ordered, so they just gave her
two shades darker. I mean, clearly a bloke was packing
that order. You don't not, No, it is not all
the same. It is a very fine line. But there
was some there were smudgeled out a bit more, there
was a funny bit of audio on TikTok that we
(01:12):
came across. This is from a TikTok account called Ren
McQueen's vibe.
Speaker 4 (01:17):
Did a click and click from Wallie's Today and if
you know, you know right, I got some chicken thigh, right,
I got some chicken thie. And when they don't have
a product and stop, they replace it with something house,
substitute it for something else. This was my substitution a
protein snack, a chocolate protein snack, and I eat these.
(01:38):
These are great, love them. But how am I supposed
to make sarte chicken with that?
Speaker 1 (01:44):
Try a new recipe? Usually we just get a list
of what wasn't available and then I run down farmer
Jacks or the igator, you know, to top up the order. Woman,
we've had the purpose.
Speaker 2 (01:58):
So there was a lot of comment under Red Queen's
a vibe. Red McQueen is a vibe.
Speaker 3 (02:02):
Someone said, I once ordered six bananas and they substituted.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
It for six packets of party.
Speaker 3 (02:07):
Mixed lollies Lolly bananas slightly different. Help if someone's wraps
were substituted for crumpets. You can't wait to make you know,
Chipotle chicken crumpets. Oh, this person ordered frozen broccoli and
got frozen pizza, so tried to be healthy, but the
universe had other plans.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
Very funny.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
Yeah, we've had substitutions before where it doesn't happen often,
but sometimes if there's a new product and they just
they just throw it in just in the in the
hope that you'll go, oh, that's good. I've heard that happens.
Speaker 3 (02:41):
There's nothing you can't argue with a freebee. What did
you get instead of in your grocery order?
Speaker 1 (02:46):
Have you ever had to try and make a stir
fry with a protein?
Speaker 3 (02:48):
But doing a grocery shopping online can be an adventure
because when they don't have what you want, they'll put
something in instead, something like we're talking about what you
got instead of in your grocery order today.
Speaker 2 (03:03):
Todd in Rockingham said, I used.
Speaker 1 (03:06):
To work for one of the Big two an insight.
Speaker 3 (03:08):
A customer ordered rubber gloves which weren't in stock, and
the system suggested condoms as a substitute. Gloving up your
hand one finger at a time, look it's one for
every finger, or squeezing your whole hand into a looking
like a lobster claw.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
Just remember, Lisa, if it's not on, it's not on.
Speaker 3 (03:28):
Anyway, the staff member put it in apparently, let's go
to Calviscott Alan, Hello.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
Could you top that?
Speaker 2 (03:35):
What you get.
Speaker 1 (03:38):
My young blade in the golf and he ordered some
golf club move sweet And when the parcel puned up,
it was a mood ring.
Speaker 2 (03:47):
A mood ring.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
Clubs just what every golfer needs.
Speaker 3 (03:57):
Color didn't go when he got.
Speaker 1 (03:58):
A very dark, very dark that was that was his mood.
Speaker 2 (04:06):
Pretty random. A mood ring instead of golf clubs.
Speaker 5 (04:10):
Yeah, thank you, thank you allan.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
Yeah, I used to love a mood ring when I
was a twenty year old.
Speaker 1 (04:19):
Yeah, but not when you were not when you're about
to hit the golf course.
Speaker 2 (04:22):
That's true.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
You can't swing one of those.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
You cannot.
Speaker 1 (04:25):
Definitely not substitution fails. I think we would. We would
call them one message through my friends. Bacon was substituted
for oreos. I guess I just figured you ordered calories,
didn't you, So you go it's something nuts bacon.
Speaker 3 (04:42):
Yeah, okay, we Wendy, this is the second one that
got condoms instead of something Wendy wanted rubber balloons.
Speaker 2 (04:50):
And got condoms instead.
Speaker 1 (04:52):
I think that I think that Supermarket's AI suggestion bot
might be a little off at the moment.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
Track mind one, track mind bot.
Speaker 3 (05:03):
Yes, that's a yeah, that's that's a very specific that's
a specific party.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
That one.
Speaker 1 (05:09):
That's a surprise ordering them for your kid's birthday party.
Speaker 2 (05:13):
Yes, we are.
Speaker 3 (05:13):
Talking about what you got instead of in your grocery order.
Pauline says, mine wasn't groceries, it was a moonpig order.
I ordered a soft toy for my brand new niece
in the UK and they sent a novelty mug but
said f.
Speaker 2 (05:26):
You, I mean really.
Speaker 1 (05:34):
For you.
Speaker 3 (05:35):
By the way, let's go to Donnybrook Miranda.
Speaker 2 (05:38):
Hello Miranda, Miranda, good morning. What happened? What did you get?
Speaker 5 (05:43):
So we often have baby wipes in our car to
wipe our.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
Hands, putting, fueling or eating.
Speaker 5 (05:51):
The most multifunctional items, so we ordered some. You know,
we don't have a child anymore, ordered some and as
a replace when I didn't have them, we got newborn nappies.
You can just imagine and wiping. You're wiping your hands
with a nappy, or you're hungry Jack wiping your up
(06:12):
your whopper with a nappy.
Speaker 1 (06:14):
Do they absorb the petrol after you've been at the
petrol station.
Speaker 5 (06:19):
Oh yeah, it's not a good look.
Speaker 2 (06:21):
No, not a good look.
Speaker 1 (06:23):
Thanks, thank you appreciate that.
Speaker 3 (06:26):
There's a ripper on the text. Tracy and Cloverdale said,
I had a two tins of tuna and received two
tins of snappy Tom.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
It's tuna, just a little if you're walking around with
the trolley and I know you guys work really really hard.
I've seen you guys work up. But just just a
little bit of thought into it, is there?
Speaker 3 (06:50):
What I'm curious about is this just the people doing
it making a decision or is there a you know,
an a I bought something's telling them what to have instead.
Speaker 2 (07:04):
Maybe use your own initiative.
Speaker 1 (07:06):
Not on shelf, try this instead. And then they're coming
up with just the wrong suggestions. It needs a reprogram.
Trust your own self, I think so.
Speaker 3 (07:16):
Online grocery shopping substitutions. Who knew it could be such
an adventure when you fill out what you want? Minefield,
that's what we've been talking about this morning. What did
you get instead of in your grocery order? Steve from
Rockingham says, our first attempt at online shopping, was ordering
feminine products for my wife and.
Speaker 2 (07:37):
We received a box of tissues.
Speaker 3 (07:40):
They did come in handy as we use them to
wipe the tears away that we had laughed working out
how she was going to use those instead. That's interesting
because on the TikTok thread that we were reading about
this this morning, someone said they got substituted tampons for
toilet paper.
Speaker 2 (07:59):
Yeah, not gonna work.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
I mean, people were using all sorts of things during COVID,
though at one stage they would have taken anything
Online shopping.
Speaker 2 (00:01):
Oh, I'm very versed in it.
Speaker 3 (00:04):
However, I don't do my my grocery shopping online.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
No, I go more use to the Amazon and all
of that.
Speaker 3 (00:13):
Anything sort of absolutely anything else, just not grocery shopping.
But we were talking about it the other day and
because you know, quite a lot of people around the
office do do it.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
I have done it any time, have you? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (00:25):
Yes, evidently I didn't realize this happened.
Speaker 3 (00:28):
But if you order something and they don't have it,
they will take it upon themselves to substitute it with
something else. I was actually ordering flowers online for my
mum's birthday the other day, and the florist did say,
if we don't have those flowers, we will substitute it.
And it's like, well, there's not much I can do
about it. So anyway, Susie, our producer, she ordered some
foundation one day, as in makeup okay, and they didn't
(00:51):
have the color she ordered, so they just gave her
two shades darker. I mean, clearly a bloke was packing
that order. You don't not, No, it is not all
the same. It is a very fine line. But there
was some there were smudgeled out a bit more, there
was a funny bit of audio on TikTok that we
(01:12):
came across. This is from a TikTok account called Ren
McQueen's vibe.
Speaker 4 (01:17):
Did a click and click from Wallie's Today and if
you know, you know right, I got some chicken thigh, right,
I got some chicken thie. And when they don't have
a product and stop, they replace it with something house,
substitute it for something else. This was my substitution a
protein snack, a chocolate protein snack, and I eat these.
(01:38):
These are great, love them. But how am I supposed
to make sarte chicken with that?
Speaker 1 (01:44):
Try a new recipe? Usually we just get a list
of what wasn't available and then I run down farmer
Jacks or the igator, you know, to top up the order. Woman,
we've had the purpose.
Speaker 2 (01:58):
So there was a lot of comment under Red Queen's
a vibe. Red McQueen is a vibe.
Speaker 3 (02:02):
Someone said, I once ordered six bananas and they substituted.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
It for six packets of party.
Speaker 3 (02:07):
Mixed lollies Lolly bananas slightly different. Help if someone's wraps
were substituted for crumpets. You can't wait to make you know,
Chipotle chicken crumpets. Oh, this person ordered frozen broccoli and
got frozen pizza, so tried to be healthy, but the
universe had other plans.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
Very funny.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
Yeah, we've had substitutions before where it doesn't happen often,
but sometimes if there's a new product and they just
they just throw it in just in the in the
hope that you'll go, oh, that's good. I've heard that happens.
Speaker 3 (02:41):
There's nothing you can't argue with a freebee. What did
you get instead of in your grocery order?
Speaker 1 (02:46):
Have you ever had to try and make a stir
fry with a protein?
Speaker 3 (02:48):
But doing a grocery shopping online can be an adventure
because when they don't have what you want, they'll put
something in instead, something like we're talking about what you
got instead of in your grocery order today.
Speaker 2 (03:03):
Todd in Rockingham said, I used.
Speaker 1 (03:06):
To work for one of the Big two an insight.
Speaker 3 (03:08):
A customer ordered rubber gloves which weren't in stock, and
the system suggested condoms as a substitute. Gloving up your
hand one finger at a time, look it's one for
every finger, or squeezing your whole hand into a looking
like a lobster claw.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
Just remember, Lisa, if it's not on, it's not on.
Speaker 3 (03:28):
Anyway, the staff member put it in apparently, let's go
to Calviscott Alan, Hello.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
Could you top that?
Speaker 2 (03:35):
What you get.
Speaker 1 (03:38):
My young blade in the golf and he ordered some
golf club move sweet And when the parcel puned up,
it was a mood ring.
Speaker 2 (03:47):
A mood ring.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
Clubs just what every golfer needs.
Speaker 3 (03:57):
Color didn't go when he got.
Speaker 1 (03:58):
A very dark, very dark that was that was his mood.
Speaker 2 (04:06):
Pretty random. A mood ring instead of golf clubs.
Speaker 5 (04:10):
Yeah, thank you, thank you allan.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
Yeah, I used to love a mood ring when I
was a twenty year old.
Speaker 1 (04:19):
Yeah, but not when you were not when you're about
to hit the golf course.
Speaker 2 (04:22):
That's true.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
You can't swing one of those.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
You cannot.
Speaker 1 (04:25):
Definitely not substitution fails. I think we would. We would
call them one message through my friends. Bacon was substituted
for oreos. I guess I just figured you ordered calories,
didn't you, So you go it's something nuts bacon.
Speaker 3 (04:42):
Yeah, okay, we Wendy, this is the second one that
got condoms instead of something Wendy wanted rubber balloons.
Speaker 2 (04:50):
And got condoms instead.
Speaker 1 (04:52):
I think that I think that Supermarket's AI suggestion bot
might be a little off at the moment.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
Track mind one, track mind bot.
Speaker 3 (05:03):
Yes, that's a yeah, that's that's a very specific that's
a specific party.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
That one.
Speaker 1 (05:09):
That's a surprise ordering them for your kid's birthday party.
Speaker 2 (05:13):
Yes, we are.
Speaker 3 (05:13):
Talking about what you got instead of in your grocery order.
Pauline says, mine wasn't groceries, it was a moonpig order.
I ordered a soft toy for my brand new niece
in the UK and they sent a novelty mug but
said f.
Speaker 2 (05:26):
You, I mean really.
Speaker 1 (05:34):
For you.
Speaker 3 (05:35):
By the way, let's go to Donnybrook Miranda.
Speaker 2 (05:38):
Hello Miranda, Miranda, good morning. What happened? What did you get?
Speaker 5 (05:43):
So we often have baby wipes in our car to
wipe our.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
Hands, putting, fueling or eating.
Speaker 5 (05:51):
The most multifunctional items, so we ordered some. You know,
we don't have a child anymore, ordered some and as
a replace when I didn't have them, we got newborn nappies.
You can just imagine and wiping. You're wiping your hands
with a nappy, or you're hungry Jack wiping your up
(06:12):
your whopper with a nappy.
Speaker 1 (06:14):
Do they absorb the petrol after you've been at the
petrol station.
Speaker 5 (06:19):
Oh yeah, it's not a good look.
Speaker 2 (06:21):
No, not a good look.
Speaker 1 (06:23):
Thanks, thank you appreciate that.
Speaker 3 (06:26):
There's a ripper on the text. Tracy and Cloverdale said,
I had a two tins of tuna and received two
tins of snappy Tom.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
It's tuna, just a little if you're walking around with
the trolley and I know you guys work really really hard.
I've seen you guys work up. But just just a
little bit of thought into it, is there?
Speaker 3 (06:50):
What I'm curious about is this just the people doing
it making a decision or is there a you know,
an a I bought something's telling them what to have instead.
Speaker 2 (07:04):
Maybe use your own initiative.
Speaker 1 (07:06):
Not on shelf, try this instead. And then they're coming
up with just the wrong suggestions. It needs a reprogram.
Trust your own self, I think so.
Speaker 3 (07:16):
Online grocery shopping substitutions. Who knew it could be such
an adventure when you fill out what you want? Minefield,
that's what we've been talking about this morning. What did
you get instead of in your grocery order? Steve from
Rockingham says, our first attempt at online shopping, was ordering
feminine products for my wife and.
Speaker 2 (07:37):
We received a box of tissues.
Speaker 3 (07:40):
They did come in handy as we use them to
wipe the tears away that we had laughed working out
how she was going to use those instead. That's interesting
because on the TikTok thread that we were reading about
this this morning, someone said they got substituted tampons for
toilet paper.
Speaker 2 (07:59):
Yeah, not gonna work.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
I mean, people were using all sorts of things during COVID,
though at one stage they would have taken anything
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