June 18, 2025 • 30 mins
Brigitte Duclos is a doyen of Australian media. A woman who smashed the original glass ceiling, she has valuable insight into forging a successful career in the spotlight, while juggling motherhood and all life’s obstacles. Now also an Accredited Counsellor, she has valuable advice for women struggling with the mental load of Menopause.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, it's Pats with another episode of Rage Against the Menopause,
this one with another one of my favorite women, bridget
To Chloe. I've worked with Bridgie and Top Rating Radio.
She's one of Australia's most successful and much love personalities.
But away from the studio, to know Bridge really is
to love her whyse beyond her years, She's always had
(00:21):
words of advice about all aspects of life, and I
regard her as one of the original trailblazers, a woman
who broke through the glass ceiling, dominating in what was
once a man's world. I've always admired the way she
reinvents herself. Currently a presenter on ABC Radio, also an
accredited counselor with her own practice, I think you'll also
(00:43):
find her a valuable addition to this series. Enjoy an invisible.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
Age, Menopause. It's coming for you no matter what.
Speaker 3 (00:54):
Let's build a village of support.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
Why is it so damn hut in here?
Speaker 3 (00:58):
Menopause is so hot right now?
Speaker 2 (01:01):
I think I'm finally in menopause.
Speaker 3 (01:03):
Women just want to feel heard.
Speaker 4 (01:05):
Rage Against the Menopause a very special guest for Rage
Against the Menopause, and.
Speaker 3 (01:10):
This is a beautiful, beautiful.
Speaker 4 (01:13):
Soul who I had the honor of working with several
years ago, an absolute legend in radio and TV.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
Bridget To Cloak, Welcome pets. It's so nice to see you.
And now you're an award winner. I'm in very very
esteemed company. I must say no about that.
Speaker 4 (01:31):
So thrilled that you could could join us. You have
had a career change. You had thirty years in TV
and radio. I read your news when you were Bridge
and Limo won Gold FM.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
Yes you did, and we had a wonderful time doing that.
Then sadly I got sacked and thought what the hell
am I going to do with myself? But good I'd
had a great un so, you know, thirty years in
radio was pretty amazing. So yeah, I went back to UNI,
which was incredibly difficult. As a fifty plus I bear
something or other, couldn't remember how to write any sale
or do anything anyway. Thankfully I had two adult kids. Yeah,
(02:07):
so I went back and did a post grade counseling degree.
So I'm now practicing as a counselor, which is very
very different too.
Speaker 4 (02:14):
It is, but you know what, I'm not surprised that
you've gone into this field because knowing you, being fortunate
and blessed enough to know you, you have always always.
Speaker 3 (02:25):
Had a heart of gold.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
No, you have.
Speaker 4 (02:27):
And I remember when I was diagnosed with cancer, so
nine nearly. Would you believe a decade ago Audrey was three?
You remember Audrey as.
Speaker 3 (02:36):
A top I know, and you know how our whole world, Chris,
our whole world had been turned upside down and shaken.
And you came to my doorstep out in the western summers.
You're like an hour away from home.
Speaker 4 (02:51):
You had all this beautiful cooking and you just sat
and talked to me for like two or three hours.
And you know, the biggest gift you can give some
one is your time.
Speaker 2 (03:01):
And I'll never forget you. That's exactly what you do
as well. So it was a very easy thing to
do for someone like you.
Speaker 3 (03:08):
No, I've never forgotten it. It's just meant so much.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
It just made a lot, doesn't it. Things like that,
There's no doubt about it.
Speaker 3 (03:13):
It does. And people, I guess too, people don't.
Speaker 4 (03:15):
Always know how to respond or what is the right
thing to say, but sometimes just being present.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
Yeah, I've really learned that actually in my journey because
a lot of people who come to see me say
no one talks to me about it, and it's like
and I try and explain it. It's often they it's
their own uncomfortability. You know what to do, what to say,
abound with you. I think always I say this to
my kids too. The best thing you can do is
say something, do something and go from there, but don't
(03:42):
just leave it.
Speaker 3 (03:43):
But you didn't have to do that. And it was
just thrilled to go to wheer Aby.
Speaker 4 (03:49):
It's very affluent out that way, not quite affluent as well, but.
Speaker 3 (03:53):
It meant so much because you know, I've always looked up,
always looked up to you.
Speaker 4 (03:58):
You're so legendary and what you've done in mediawat.
Speaker 3 (04:02):
And for you to reach out like that, it meant
a lot.
Speaker 4 (04:04):
And so it doesn't surprise me that you've gone into
counseling because you've always had a heart of goals. You've
all you know, the woman behind the persona of the
media personality with the high profile. There's a beautiful soul
in there and I'm so thrilled that everyone gets to
benefit from.
Speaker 3 (04:20):
That, all your clients in your business.
Speaker 2 (04:22):
You're a darling. Thank you. Look, I'm really enjoying it.
It's it's a very very demanding because you've got people's
lives in your hands to a certain extent. I mean,
I don't mean obviously medically or anything, but there's a
lot going on out there, particularly since COVID. I so
a lot of anxiety, a lot of depression, a lot
of couples having problems. So I am really enjoying. I'm
(04:44):
really enjoying doing it. It's it's great when you get
a good result and you feel like you're making a difference.
Sometimes it's really difficult, but yeah, no, look it's been
it's been interesting and great and I'm you know, I'm
proud of myself for being able to change careers because
I could have just curled up in a ball and
never got up again, which was tempting for a couple
(05:05):
of days.
Speaker 3 (05:05):
Well, you know, radio can be brutal. Media can be
absolutely brutal.
Speaker 4 (05:09):
And it's like it's that creative sphere, isn't it, where
you just pour your heart And so especially with Brecky Radio,
you bring your whole life to the show, don't you overshare?
Speaker 2 (05:20):
That's really dood to do.
Speaker 3 (05:21):
And so it does feel like you've been cut off
at the knees.
Speaker 2 (05:25):
No, it was a terrible shock. But I look back
at it now and I think, look, there's a lot
of lot I could have done differently. But I do
think I've never better about it because I think I
am so lucky to have worked in the media when
I did for as long as I did, and I
think I just feel grateful for it. So I think
that's helped with getting over the I think the shock
(05:46):
and the grief. It's grief losing something that was like
losing it, right, do you think?
Speaker 4 (05:52):
I always say, but I don't know how true it is.
It doesn't define no who I am, but does it?
Speaker 2 (05:58):
Well? I always said that too, And I've been watching
a colleague of ours get sacked a year earlier and
thinking she was very about to define by it. Oh no,
that won't be me. But it was me. I mean,
all my kids knew me, as was that person on
the rate. I knew a mother obviously, but I'd always
been that. I didn't realize how much that was part
(06:18):
of me, yes, until it stopped. So, which is really
interesting now because now I work a lot with helping
people regain their identity, like often school moms. When you're
a school mum. When your child glave school, you left
with a bit of a lack of purpose. What next?
So it's redefining who you are. So I think that's
what I had to do. But like you, Pats, I said, no,
(06:40):
that's not me. This isn't who I am. But it
is a big part of your life. You give everything,
so of course it's going to be part of your identity.
It has to be.
Speaker 4 (06:48):
It must have felt quite foreign because I know, if
we're on survey break and Audrey is still at school
and I'm there for breakfast, which she's.
Speaker 3 (06:56):
Not used to me, I get in the way.
Speaker 2 (06:58):
I know you're a nuisance when you see ruined the
root I do, and.
Speaker 4 (07:02):
She'll say, Mum, it's okay, you just do your own thing,
and I feel very useless.
Speaker 2 (07:07):
I know. It's funny, isn't it. It's so funny how
you just realize that they get on quite well without you,
but your home and wanting to be part of it all.
I know, like back to.
Speaker 3 (07:16):
Work, it's not where you fit, mum. You're not in
that part of the jigsaw.
Speaker 4 (07:20):
But that's also isn't that a problem to where when
you're a working mum, and especially when you're doing Brecky
radio and you're leaving house at you know, god, god
forsaken hours. You've set them up, You've got It's like
a fine routine, isn't it.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
It's like a factory.
Speaker 4 (07:35):
Everyone's got their role, they know where they're meant to
be at what time, and you almost do yourself out
of a job.
Speaker 2 (07:41):
Well, I just have terrible guilt about not being around
in the morning. God, yes, But then I realized, especially
as the kid's got a bit older, that the afternoon
was when they needed you because you had a bad
day or whatever.
Speaker 3 (07:51):
That's where you always say that to me, that was
the way.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
Maybe I was just justifying consult myself. Because I did,
I felt terribly guilt. Yes, I never dropped them off.
Speaker 4 (08:01):
Ever, you miss the assembly, you miss the choir, you
miss the violin assembly, the certificate giving. It's like I
always have pangs of that even now. Bridge It's like,
I look at Audrey, she's thirteen, nearly fourteen. We've only
got maybe four or five years, and you know, they'll
cryst will console me and say, yeah, but look what
you've been able to do for her by exactly working.
Speaker 3 (08:23):
But it's not the same sometimes.
Speaker 2 (08:26):
Look, Look, I think working is a good thing for mums.
Speaker 3 (08:29):
I think it's good.
Speaker 2 (08:29):
And unfortunately the work we do, I did you do
does take away that big chunk of the day. But however,
as I always say, you're there for the rest of it,
and you know, it's good that.
Speaker 3 (08:40):
Men a toast and sleep, sleep and grumpy.
Speaker 2 (08:42):
Even though you can't talk to them because you're exhausted.
I mean, I gave my kids barbecue shapes for dinner.
As I think I told you I was so tired
some nights. Oh so yeah, yeah, do what you do.
You do what you do, and everyone does what they do.
I think every mother has guilt, every working mother has guilt,
and even mothers are at home have guilt. Yes, from
the minute you have a baby, you have guilt. Yep.
Speaker 4 (09:04):
Yeah, it's hard that you get, Oh, you're not going
back to work, aren't you. I got, oh you're not
going back to work if you know it's taken you
five years to have your baby, now you're going back
to work. But it's almost Also, why should I stop
being what I do just because I can do well,
we're told we can do everything. But then you're right,
stay at home mums get Oh you're staying at home.
Speaker 3 (09:26):
You can't win.
Speaker 2 (09:26):
You can't win, and I think the best way to
do is except the best thing is just to accept
you can't win and do the best at what you're doing.
And you know, just accept that is the way it is.
It's the only awake.
Speaker 4 (09:37):
Yeah, you were so helpful for me as I because
I think I was back from Matt leave. I think,
wasn't I when I went back to breakfast, So it
certainly helped. You certainly helped get me through those mornings and.
Speaker 2 (09:47):
Those I just think it would help to have another
mother in the team too, who understands what it's like
to leave there. Well, mine worn't babies, but I left
mine from when they were three months old. Yeah, I
went back to work. That's hard. You know that I
had ter good with that as well. Anyway, But once
again you sort of wait up and you think, but
least I can give you this, and that's.
Speaker 3 (10:07):
Right, that's right.
Speaker 4 (10:09):
Tell me, how is your work different? Because I guess
you're so. You're such a great orator and talker and
this it flows so beautifully and naturally. But this, I
this must be different for you.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
The biggest thing I had to learn was one of
the best skills you can have in counseling is listening.
Now you and I know that if there's dead air
for one minute, we start talking. Yes, And I've been trained,
as we all have on radio, to just keep talking,
keep talking, keep talking, because if you stop, it goes
into panic mode and they put music.
Speaker 3 (10:40):
Emergency tape goes.
Speaker 2 (10:42):
So the biggest skill I've had to learn is sitting
and listening and while they're talking, not being scared of
dead air, like listen because then they'll keep going. So
that's been the biggest thing. And I don't talk nearly
as much as I used to imagine that, No I did.
I literally sit there and I listen. I listened because also,
you don't give advice, You just help them try and
(11:03):
work it out for themselves. Yes, because if you give
advice to somebody, if it's the wrong advice, that's a
big thing. So I have really say to myself every
day two years one mouth, yeah, which used.
Speaker 3 (11:15):
To be right all the way around.
Speaker 2 (11:18):
So I'm rewired, and that's probably bee the biggest challenge. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (11:23):
Yeah, I'm so proud of you. Do you know what
you've done for women of our age? In our fifties.
You're so right.
Speaker 3 (11:29):
It's like a.
Speaker 4 (11:30):
Collision sometimes of life. I think your fifties decade for
me going through perimenopause and menopause. I think it's been
an mind that I had cancer in my forties and
fertility problems. I think it's been the most challenging, to
be honest.
Speaker 2 (11:47):
And I don't think anyone prepares you for it. I mean,
no one really prepares you for having a baby either,
I suppose. But this menopause thing comes in so many
different and everyone's just so different. Is terrifying, isn't it.
Some of the things it does to you, which it
was funny, not funny, actually was awful. I had a
quite a young boy, you know, he has to be
about nineteen or something. This was about a few months ago,
(12:10):
and I suddenly started getting the sweats and I was
literally dripping, dripping, and I'm like, it was so embarrassing
because it's this young boy. I'm not gonna tell sorry,
I've got menopause. Had it been like a someone else,
I might have. But there was nothing I could do
about it. And I've do you know, it's funny. I've
been having watched the American election campaign. All I can
(12:33):
do is look at Carmala Harris. I don't know where
she sits in her journey. And I go back to
Hillary Clinton, all these high profile women, How the hell
do they manage menopause if they're getting bad effects from it?
I think about that all the time.
Speaker 4 (12:48):
It's not fair, is it. At times? I can remember
you sitting with a fan in the studio. You had
that fan that plugged the USB thing.
Speaker 2 (12:55):
Yeah, yeah, I still have a fan. I've got this
group of girlfriends and whenever we go to for dinner,
we bring our hands and we all sit there and honestly,
everyone else is going, what are they doing? But I don't.
I'm a funny place, actually, because I was very late, right,
funnily enough to actually stopping having all together. Yeah. So,
(13:16):
and I have had not constant symptoms, but the ones
like I've just described you have come from nowhere. Ye,
and they and the nights where I can't sleep, Oh
my god, it's the worst. Yeah, so bad. Yeah, But
then it's all just seems to and you know, sometimes
when you're moody, you can't work out why, whether is
it that or is it something else? It's hard to know.
(13:37):
You know.
Speaker 4 (13:38):
That's what I find most frustrating about it is And
if you go to a specialist, they can't tell you
at what point you are in your journey either.
Speaker 2 (13:44):
As I say, to look at your mother, don't they? Yeah,
but my mother had his direct to met very early,
so it's hard to look at her and say, what's
your journey because apparently that is quite relevant.
Speaker 3 (13:54):
Well, my mum's eighty eighty one and still getting hot
flushes the sweats.
Speaker 2 (13:59):
It's not fair some people have it. I actually had
a client once again, a woman a bit younger than me,
and it actually ruined her life. She got the worst
symptoms I've ever seen started to affect a marriage.
Speaker 4 (14:14):
It's awful, it is what did you? What have you
found helps has helped for you? I did try HRT
for a while when that was going through that.
Speaker 2 (14:21):
That was good. But as I say, then I feel
all fine again, and I think I've been one of
the lucky ones, to be honest, but just having a
hint of what it's like when it's bad, and for
some people they get that all the time for years on.
It's absolutely horrific and the brain fade.
Speaker 4 (14:41):
Yeah, Honestly, the amount of times I've been in the
middle of saying something on air and then I'll just
and I can't think, or I can't think of a word,
and the boys just look at me, and I think, do.
Speaker 2 (14:51):
You remember when we were in when we used to
work together and I had that fan going and the
boys used to tease us, tease me unmercifully. And I
think back now and I think, and I lots of
men are listening to your podcast because men need to
get on board with this totally, and young men, young men,
and be so supportive because it used to be a
joke or she's going through the church and it's actually
(15:13):
so offensive because it is, you know, we go through
so much. And I would love to think that men
listen to rage against the menopause and think how can
I best support my partner.
Speaker 3 (15:23):
I think the tide is turning, you know, Bridge.
Speaker 4 (15:24):
I've had so much beautiful feedback from series one last year,
and surprisingly it took me off guard. A lot of
men in their thirties who say thank you for educating me,
because I had no idea what it was. And they'll say,
you know, I know my mum was going through something,
but I didn't fully understand it. So thank you for
educating me, and thank you for equipping me for when
(15:46):
my partner in ten or twenty.
Speaker 3 (15:49):
Years goes through.
Speaker 4 (15:50):
That's what I've aimed to do in this and to
get the donversation, and you have done a great job
of that.
Speaker 2 (15:55):
And I really love that fact that these younger men
are very different to them grew up with.
Speaker 3 (16:00):
It can't be.
Speaker 2 (16:01):
It's amazing. They're much more in tune with being sympathetic, empathetic,
understanding and not just going on my wife's gating to
you know, all that rubbish we used to get. I
think I've seen a massive change in. I think young
men these days are amazing and it's a credit.
Speaker 4 (16:19):
To their mothers and their fathers for bringing up this
new generation of men. You've got Charlie's what now, twenty
twenty five.
Speaker 2 (16:27):
I know he's a grown up, and my daughter's twenty three, Alex,
so I know they're I know they're big, mature people now. Believable,
But I do I've really seen a change in. I
think I was listening to one of your podcasts with
one of an expert she was saying this, the metopause
now is a bit like what mental health was a
few years ago where Noah is not talking and no
(16:48):
one was talking about it. Now it is becoming something.
Thank goodness for you and other people who are tackling it. Yeah,
because it's still a little bit of one of those
forbiddens up.
Speaker 3 (16:58):
Their stigma, which is ridicul It's.
Speaker 2 (17:00):
Ridiculous because half the population go through no.
Speaker 3 (17:02):
I know, and one third of is it one third
of women?
Speaker 4 (17:05):
At any time, I was doing a bit of research
and you were on a wonderful podcast, The Power of Women.
Speaker 2 (17:11):
Oh yeah, that was very digillic.
Speaker 4 (17:13):
Yeah, of course, and you said something that I think
a lot of women can relate to.
Speaker 3 (17:18):
I'm going to play the audio because.
Speaker 2 (17:19):
We were talking to all our girlfriends. We're all fifty plus, say,
every single one of them has had to go through
some sort of change transition, whether it be like me
losing a job, my friend losing her husband, empty nest,
the kids have moved out, menopause, feeling invisible. And I
think that age group of women go through such a
lot and the attention is not on them. Nobody seems
(17:42):
to realize what an invisible age this is.
Speaker 3 (17:45):
I love that an invisible age And do.
Speaker 2 (17:47):
You know it's so interesting. I've and it is exactly
what I said. They're watching friends, every one of my friends.
Something's going on. Whether it might even be elderly parents
getting sick.
Speaker 3 (17:58):
That's a big thing.
Speaker 2 (17:58):
Yeah, and there is. I really feel like this group
of women I put, let's say fifty plus need a
lot more support than what they're getting. I get a
lot of women that age coming into my rooms as well,
and often it is literally I don't know who I am,
I don't know what to do with myself, or I've
forgotten how to talk to my husband and all of
these things and no one you know, when you're young. Occasionally,
(18:20):
not that we want men whistling at us, but we
used to get noticed. That we're a group of women
who no longer get noticed. And it's not a matter
of vanity or anything else. It's just like, oh, what
would she do? Just there? You're not what would that
person who's had all this life experience. No, And it
is a very difficult age, and I would love to
see a lot more done. In fact, before I did
(18:42):
the counselor, I wanted to start a network group for women,
which then the counseling can have just never got around
to it. My partner Andy Webster, who's she's a counselor
as well. We've for a long time wanted to put
together this workshop where we bring women together who going
through whatever it is and give them support one strategies,
(19:05):
lover it skills how to find themselves again and get
through that. And look it is a projected on the list.
Speaker 3 (19:13):
Yeah, I think that would be brilliant.
Speaker 2 (19:15):
Yeah, I do so you felt that. I mean, you're
a lot younger than maybe it with your friends.
Speaker 3 (19:19):
Not that much younger. Yeah, I have and girlfriends as well.
You know.
Speaker 4 (19:23):
I'll tell you a funny story. I was in a
major retailer the other day in the shoe department, go figure,
yes and yes, Imelda standing there, and I was right
in the staffer's face, like I was right there, right there.
There were two younger girls either side of me who
came after, and she went to them, but she didn't
(19:44):
even It was like truly didn't exist. It really was
like I was invisible. And one of them fortunately said
I'm sorry this lady was here first, and I thought,
I'm not that hard to like, I'm here, I am here, Like.
Speaker 2 (20:01):
It is an invisible age.
Speaker 3 (20:03):
Really, invisible.
Speaker 2 (20:04):
Yeah, it really is. It's almost like you just discarded,
like you know, we are an aging society, but it's
a shame. In other countries, aging is considered the older
you get, the more valuable you get, and I feel
like in this country that is not the case at all. Yeah,
but you know, I think, I think I'm turning sixty
this year and I'm really excited about I've got no
(20:26):
problem with getting older. I love the idea of being
sixtycause I love the world life, all of that experience.
But you can't buy no, But I am feeling all
those things that you're just talking about, the invisibility and
everything else, and it is something that we have to
work on together as a group of women and give
(20:46):
us the skills to get through that in the strategies,
because it is. It's a terrible, terrible feeling. And I
don't think men get that, No they don't. They don't know.
Speaker 3 (20:54):
Well, they're seen as a silver fox and a stallion.
Speaker 2 (20:58):
Look at those. Yeah, all those lives really suiting. We
get a line and we suddenly you know, it really is. Look,
it's getting better slowly. But I was never aware of
all the things that women of this age go through.
I think you I don't know whether you've heard that
A lot of the homeless population and women.
Speaker 4 (21:17):
Over sixty, which is just marriage breakups and yet or
no super or not all of that being, you know,
not being out of work because I will bring.
Speaker 2 (21:26):
Up the children.
Speaker 3 (21:27):
It is disgusting because they give all of themselves.
Speaker 4 (21:29):
And that that's another point I want to make, and
that you have made previously, is that don't in effect,
don't rest on your laurels, like okay, I've had a
thirty six year career in radio, but don't take for
granted whatever industry you're in that well it just sounds
dye that it won't be discarded.
Speaker 3 (21:48):
Have a backup.
Speaker 2 (21:49):
Well, okay, I talked a lot about that in that
podcast that would diguill It. I never had a backup,
and I look back now and think, you idiot, But
I actually just just kept going and going and going,
and I never ever crossed my mind that was stupid.
So the worst thing about which you're right, That's what
I learned, is always have a plan, be and don't
think you're too old to not knowskill reskill. And I
(22:14):
think when I went to Union, I was the oldest
by a mile, but all the young kids were just
lovely to me. They couldn't have been nicer. They were
better at their essays, but they all said in the
practical stuff, we can't get to where you are because
you're older. You've just got an experience which we can't see.
Speaker 4 (22:30):
So I mean, you're so good at talking to people
life experience.
Speaker 2 (22:34):
Well, we've got so much to offer, and we can't
let menopause or anything else, or invisibility or anything else
put us off and not feeling empowered that. You know,
I'm excited about the next twenty years, assuming I really
am excited about it, but I am passionate about I
would really love to help, really would love to get
(22:56):
this workshop together, which you need to do it. It's
on my list, Pats.
Speaker 4 (23:01):
No, But I mean good things worth doing take time.
It's like this podcast to you know this seriously, Bridge
was like three four years in the making.
Speaker 2 (23:09):
And what made you so passionate because you were going through.
Speaker 3 (23:12):
Because I was frustrated.
Speaker 4 (23:14):
So when I was going through it, I just thought,
why aren't we talking about this?
Speaker 3 (23:19):
Like why is it such a dirty word?
Speaker 4 (23:22):
Like there was so much emphasis on conception and pregnancy
and birth, but why not again, It's that whole discarded
generation where I thought, well, hang on, no, and you
work decades and decades and decades to perfect your craft
and then this hits.
Speaker 3 (23:37):
And you know, for me it was hang on.
Speaker 4 (23:39):
So I had infertility for five years and lots of
pregnancy loss. Then I got cancer and then I hit
It's like, now.
Speaker 3 (23:45):
You want me to go through.
Speaker 2 (23:46):
This, Yes, I know, and we'll be a mum. And
it has there has to be a situation of empathy.
It's like, it really annoys me that women don't get
sanitary products. We're talking about half she's still.
Speaker 3 (23:59):
On probably I can't remember.
Speaker 2 (24:02):
All I know is that you know, when half the
population is going through something, surely and the empathy from
men is one of the most important things. And I
do think hopefully that is thanks to you and other people,
is coming to light. But you know the other thing
where women have babies, and that's not easy. I mean,
I'm glad we do. I'm glad we get to do
that to be that person, but that is tough when
(24:24):
you think what you go through with that, and then
you come out the other end and off you go
again into this other abyss of.
Speaker 3 (24:30):
Yeah, go and be professional again now.
Speaker 4 (24:32):
Plus you just feel like you're carrying so many bags
and everything.
Speaker 2 (24:36):
I know, and I think I just think it's really
important to have it out in the open, and it
would be good, and it would have been nice if
I could have when I was in the room sweating
with that young boy embarrassed, well, I think I just
think it caught me by surprise and I was horrified,
and I just if it had been you sitting opposite me,
that would have been easy. But I think in retrospect,
(24:58):
I should have just said, also, you don't reveal too
much about which, of course it might be a bit
personal too, but I would definitely. I mean, the girls
and I talk about it all the time. We spend
our life talking about it with our fans, and that's
great and everything else. And look, some of my friends
have had it absolutely terribly, like they have really their
whole lives have been affected by it. I changed their life,
(25:19):
Britchie about to stop worker one has one's been on
hrt off, hrt, tried this, tried that, just ongoing and
very down in the dumps and you know, not a
depressive personality at all. So that's been really really tricky.
Speaker 4 (25:36):
How many of your clients that you see through counseling
do you think perhaps their mental state can be metopause
part of it.
Speaker 2 (25:45):
A few, like a lot of women who come in
who are in that range. I often say, I'm not
sure I'm feeling this way if it's that or But
usually it always plays a part, and some, as I've said,
really drastically bad I was. I don't know. I don't
know the answers to it because I haven't gone into
(26:06):
it far enough because I haven't needed to. But I
do think always heading down the Eastern track's a good
idea to just seeing if there's some some sort of
Chinese medicine that can help you. Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 3 (26:18):
If it means standing on your head up against a wall.
Speaker 2 (26:20):
If it helps, Yeah, It's like I do try to
get pregnant to do the bicycle legs.
Speaker 4 (26:24):
Yes, you would have done it, pillow up under the
bum you every single day. Well, I was taking Chinese herbs,
so we were flying up to Sydney once a month.
We had this German Chinese doctor, doctor Snell.
Speaker 3 (26:36):
He was brilliant.
Speaker 4 (26:36):
He had this tiny little practice in Chatswood and we
go up once a month and he do dry needling.
And I think it was at Moxie. Have you ever
seen mine?
Speaker 2 (26:45):
I had moxy. I had Moxy, the burning box I
called it. Yeah, I had that when I was trying
to get pregnant.
Speaker 3 (26:50):
Yes, it's brilliant.
Speaker 4 (26:51):
And you know what so I had about because I've
got indo and polycystic. So he cleared. I mean you've
always got that, you can't get rid of it. But
cleared all the gun out of my system. And then
you pregnant and got pregnant with ordering and we've done
IVF before that that didn't work.
Speaker 3 (27:04):
It's look, it's whatever.
Speaker 2 (27:05):
Works, whatever works for you, and I don't care how crazy. Yeah,
it's like I remember when Jim Stein's had cancer and
he's doing everything he could and he ended up drinking?
Is you? And I think at once that's and I'm like,
I was thinking, go for it, like whatever you can
do to help yourself. But I think the best thing
is talking about it, getting your partners talking about it.
(27:27):
Without that And I really think back to those days
with that fan and the mockery like it was constant,
wasn't it, And look good hearted in every way, But
I think back on now. I think I shouldn't have
had to probably had to know that.
Speaker 4 (27:42):
No, No, I think yeah, there's lessons to be learned.
Speaker 2 (27:45):
I think, yeah, yeah, and you're teaching them. Patsy. I'm
very proud of you.
Speaker 3 (27:49):
I'm proud of you.
Speaker 2 (27:51):
Well, I'm prouder proud.
Speaker 4 (27:54):
Like So if women are grappling and they're in Melbourne
because you're where is your.
Speaker 2 (28:01):
Oh that's very nice. If you it's Bridget Duco Counseling.
I've got rooms in South Yarra, so if you can
just yeah, google Bridget do Co Counseling.
Speaker 3 (28:08):
I've got rooms in South Yarra. No I haven't.
Speaker 2 (28:12):
You've got rooms in Richmond, and you've got a website.
I've got a website. So it's b D yeh one
of those things. What's underscore hyphen hyphen bd bd?
Speaker 4 (28:24):
Oh god, this is the rain fog. Just just blame
the brain fog. We can put a link, we can
put a link.
Speaker 2 (28:31):
We can absolutely, I see that's menopause. Anyway, it's b
D Counseling dot com dot means because it's so embarrassing.
Thanks for the plug, which I've just mucked up.
Speaker 3 (28:46):
No you haven't.
Speaker 4 (28:47):
We'll put a link up because seriously, if people are grappling,
it helps to talk to someone that's not necessarily your
partner or a girlfriend.
Speaker 3 (28:55):
You just need to find the right mix, don't you.
Speaker 2 (28:57):
And I just think, and there are strategies, which you know.
I love helping people try and not feel the pain
their feeling. But I put some things into place. There
are a lot of things you can do. And I
think often with women our age, you've spent so much
time throwing everything in to the kids, You've actually forgotten
how to soothe yourself.
Speaker 3 (29:13):
It's shop syndrome. I call it.
Speaker 2 (29:15):
Yep.
Speaker 4 (29:15):
You just you always put yourself last. And it's not
a conscious decision you make. I just think, as a mum,
you do that.
Speaker 2 (29:22):
You do that, and then suddenly it's like, oh, I've
forgotten how to look after myself. I don't know how
to start. So yeah, I mean that's where And I
am passionate aboutetting these workshops, which I will must one
of these days.
Speaker 3 (29:33):
I'd love to see you do that. Yeah, you should
do this podcast series.
Speaker 2 (29:37):
Now I'm on yours. I don't want to do mine.
Speaker 3 (29:38):
I'm quite happy a big guests, Bridgie, thank you so much.
Speaker 2 (29:42):
You just adorable.
Speaker 3 (29:43):
I love you a bit well, I.
Speaker 2 (29:44):
Love you too, and I'm good on you. I think
this is a really amazing podcast. I've listened to every episode,
and I also think good on you because I know
you've put the whole thing together yourself and it's amazing.
Speaker 1 (29:54):
So good on, congratulations, Thank you. Bridge to Chloe. You know,
some people just come into our lives reason. She's certainly
one of those blessings in my life. Join me in
episode five, as I hit the halfway mark of series
two of Rage Against the Menopause, I talk about a
breakthrough in treatment.
Speaker 2 (30:13):
Ossie.
Speaker 1 (30:14):
Women suffering from debilitating symptoms finally have access to the
first new kind of hormone therapy to be subsidized by
the federal government in more than two decades. We explore
those options with Professor doctor Sonya Davison, endochronology lead at
the Gene Hales Clinic. I'm Petrina Jones, and thanks for
(30:34):
listening Rage Against the Menopause.
Hey, it's Pats with another episode of Rage Against the Menopause,
this one with another one of my favorite women, bridget
To Chloe. I've worked with Bridgie and Top Rating Radio.
She's one of Australia's most successful and much love personalities.
But away from the studio, to know Bridge really is
to love her whyse beyond her years, She's always had
(00:21):
words of advice about all aspects of life, and I
regard her as one of the original trailblazers, a woman
who broke through the glass ceiling, dominating in what was
once a man's world. I've always admired the way she
reinvents herself. Currently a presenter on ABC Radio, also an
accredited counselor with her own practice, I think you'll also
(00:43):
find her a valuable addition to this series. Enjoy an invisible.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
Age, Menopause. It's coming for you no matter what.
Speaker 3 (00:54):
Let's build a village of support.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
Why is it so damn hut in here?
Speaker 3 (00:58):
Menopause is so hot right now?
Speaker 2 (01:01):
I think I'm finally in menopause.
Speaker 3 (01:03):
Women just want to feel heard.
Speaker 4 (01:05):
Rage Against the Menopause a very special guest for Rage
Against the Menopause, and.
Speaker 3 (01:10):
This is a beautiful, beautiful.
Speaker 4 (01:13):
Soul who I had the honor of working with several
years ago, an absolute legend in radio and TV.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
Bridget To Cloak, Welcome pets. It's so nice to see you.
And now you're an award winner. I'm in very very
esteemed company. I must say no about that.
Speaker 4 (01:31):
So thrilled that you could could join us. You have
had a career change. You had thirty years in TV
and radio. I read your news when you were Bridge
and Limo won Gold FM.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
Yes you did, and we had a wonderful time doing that.
Then sadly I got sacked and thought what the hell
am I going to do with myself? But good I'd
had a great un so, you know, thirty years in
radio was pretty amazing. So yeah, I went back to UNI,
which was incredibly difficult. As a fifty plus I bear
something or other, couldn't remember how to write any sale
or do anything anyway. Thankfully I had two adult kids. Yeah,
(02:07):
so I went back and did a post grade counseling degree.
So I'm now practicing as a counselor, which is very
very different too.
Speaker 4 (02:14):
It is, but you know what, I'm not surprised that
you've gone into this field because knowing you, being fortunate
and blessed enough to know you, you have always always.
Speaker 3 (02:25):
Had a heart of gold.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
No, you have.
Speaker 4 (02:27):
And I remember when I was diagnosed with cancer, so
nine nearly. Would you believe a decade ago Audrey was three?
You remember Audrey as.
Speaker 3 (02:36):
A top I know, and you know how our whole world, Chris,
our whole world had been turned upside down and shaken.
And you came to my doorstep out in the western summers.
You're like an hour away from home.
Speaker 4 (02:51):
You had all this beautiful cooking and you just sat
and talked to me for like two or three hours.
And you know, the biggest gift you can give some
one is your time.
Speaker 2 (03:01):
And I'll never forget you. That's exactly what you do
as well. So it was a very easy thing to
do for someone like you.
Speaker 3 (03:08):
No, I've never forgotten it. It's just meant so much.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
It just made a lot, doesn't it. Things like that,
There's no doubt about it.
Speaker 3 (03:13):
It does. And people, I guess too, people don't.
Speaker 4 (03:15):
Always know how to respond or what is the right
thing to say, but sometimes just being present.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
Yeah, I've really learned that actually in my journey because
a lot of people who come to see me say
no one talks to me about it, and it's like
and I try and explain it. It's often they it's
their own uncomfortability. You know what to do, what to say,
abound with you. I think always I say this to
my kids too. The best thing you can do is
say something, do something and go from there, but don't
(03:42):
just leave it.
Speaker 3 (03:43):
But you didn't have to do that. And it was
just thrilled to go to wheer Aby.
Speaker 4 (03:49):
It's very affluent out that way, not quite affluent as well, but.
Speaker 3 (03:53):
It meant so much because you know, I've always looked up,
always looked up to you.
Speaker 4 (03:58):
You're so legendary and what you've done in mediawat.
Speaker 3 (04:02):
And for you to reach out like that, it meant
a lot.
Speaker 4 (04:04):
And so it doesn't surprise me that you've gone into
counseling because you've always had a heart of goals. You've
all you know, the woman behind the persona of the
media personality with the high profile. There's a beautiful soul
in there and I'm so thrilled that everyone gets to
benefit from.
Speaker 3 (04:20):
That, all your clients in your business.
Speaker 2 (04:22):
You're a darling. Thank you. Look, I'm really enjoying it.
It's it's a very very demanding because you've got people's
lives in your hands to a certain extent. I mean,
I don't mean obviously medically or anything, but there's a
lot going on out there, particularly since COVID. I so
a lot of anxiety, a lot of depression, a lot
of couples having problems. So I am really enjoying. I'm
(04:44):
really enjoying doing it. It's it's great when you get
a good result and you feel like you're making a difference.
Sometimes it's really difficult, but yeah, no, look it's been
it's been interesting and great and I'm you know, I'm
proud of myself for being able to change careers because
I could have just curled up in a ball and
never got up again, which was tempting for a couple
(05:05):
of days.
Speaker 3 (05:05):
Well, you know, radio can be brutal. Media can be
absolutely brutal.
Speaker 4 (05:09):
And it's like it's that creative sphere, isn't it, where
you just pour your heart And so especially with Brecky Radio,
you bring your whole life to the show, don't you overshare?
Speaker 2 (05:20):
That's really dood to do.
Speaker 3 (05:21):
And so it does feel like you've been cut off
at the knees.
Speaker 2 (05:25):
No, it was a terrible shock. But I look back
at it now and I think, look, there's a lot
of lot I could have done differently. But I do
think I've never better about it because I think I
am so lucky to have worked in the media when
I did for as long as I did, and I
think I just feel grateful for it. So I think
that's helped with getting over the I think the shock
(05:46):
and the grief. It's grief losing something that was like
losing it, right, do you think?
Speaker 4 (05:52):
I always say, but I don't know how true it is.
It doesn't define no who I am, but does it?
Speaker 2 (05:58):
Well? I always said that too, And I've been watching
a colleague of ours get sacked a year earlier and
thinking she was very about to define by it. Oh no,
that won't be me. But it was me. I mean,
all my kids knew me, as was that person on
the rate. I knew a mother obviously, but I'd always
been that. I didn't realize how much that was part
(06:18):
of me, yes, until it stopped. So, which is really
interesting now because now I work a lot with helping
people regain their identity, like often school moms. When you're
a school mum. When your child glave school, you left
with a bit of a lack of purpose. What next?
So it's redefining who you are. So I think that's
what I had to do. But like you, Pats, I said, no,
(06:40):
that's not me. This isn't who I am. But it
is a big part of your life. You give everything,
so of course it's going to be part of your identity.
It has to be.
Speaker 4 (06:48):
It must have felt quite foreign because I know, if
we're on survey break and Audrey is still at school
and I'm there for breakfast, which she's.
Speaker 3 (06:56):
Not used to me, I get in the way.
Speaker 2 (06:58):
I know you're a nuisance when you see ruined the
root I do, and.
Speaker 4 (07:02):
She'll say, Mum, it's okay, you just do your own thing,
and I feel very useless.
Speaker 2 (07:07):
I know. It's funny, isn't it. It's so funny how
you just realize that they get on quite well without you,
but your home and wanting to be part of it all.
I know, like back to.
Speaker 3 (07:16):
Work, it's not where you fit, mum. You're not in
that part of the jigsaw.
Speaker 4 (07:20):
But that's also isn't that a problem to where when
you're a working mum, and especially when you're doing Brecky
radio and you're leaving house at you know, god, god
forsaken hours. You've set them up, You've got It's like
a fine routine, isn't it.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
It's like a factory.
Speaker 4 (07:35):
Everyone's got their role, they know where they're meant to
be at what time, and you almost do yourself out
of a job.
Speaker 2 (07:41):
Well, I just have terrible guilt about not being around
in the morning. God, yes, But then I realized, especially
as the kid's got a bit older, that the afternoon
was when they needed you because you had a bad
day or whatever.
Speaker 3 (07:51):
That's where you always say that to me, that was
the way.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
Maybe I was just justifying consult myself. Because I did,
I felt terribly guilt. Yes, I never dropped them off.
Speaker 4 (08:01):
Ever, you miss the assembly, you miss the choir, you
miss the violin assembly, the certificate giving. It's like I
always have pangs of that even now. Bridge It's like,
I look at Audrey, she's thirteen, nearly fourteen. We've only
got maybe four or five years, and you know, they'll
cryst will console me and say, yeah, but look what
you've been able to do for her by exactly working.
Speaker 3 (08:23):
But it's not the same sometimes.
Speaker 2 (08:26):
Look, Look, I think working is a good thing for mums.
Speaker 3 (08:29):
I think it's good.
Speaker 2 (08:29):
And unfortunately the work we do, I did you do
does take away that big chunk of the day. But however,
as I always say, you're there for the rest of it,
and you know, it's good that.
Speaker 3 (08:40):
Men a toast and sleep, sleep and grumpy.
Speaker 2 (08:42):
Even though you can't talk to them because you're exhausted.
I mean, I gave my kids barbecue shapes for dinner.
As I think I told you I was so tired
some nights. Oh so yeah, yeah, do what you do.
You do what you do, and everyone does what they do.
I think every mother has guilt, every working mother has guilt,
and even mothers are at home have guilt. Yes, from
the minute you have a baby, you have guilt. Yep.
Speaker 4 (09:04):
Yeah, it's hard that you get, Oh, you're not going
back to work, aren't you. I got, oh you're not
going back to work if you know it's taken you
five years to have your baby, now you're going back
to work. But it's almost Also, why should I stop
being what I do just because I can do well,
we're told we can do everything. But then you're right,
stay at home mums get Oh you're staying at home.
Speaker 3 (09:26):
You can't win.
Speaker 2 (09:26):
You can't win, and I think the best way to
do is except the best thing is just to accept
you can't win and do the best at what you're doing.
And you know, just accept that is the way it is.
It's the only awake.
Speaker 4 (09:37):
Yeah, you were so helpful for me as I because
I think I was back from Matt leave. I think,
wasn't I when I went back to breakfast, So it
certainly helped. You certainly helped get me through those mornings and.
Speaker 2 (09:47):
Those I just think it would help to have another
mother in the team too, who understands what it's like
to leave there. Well, mine worn't babies, but I left
mine from when they were three months old. Yeah, I
went back to work. That's hard. You know that I
had ter good with that as well. Anyway, But once
again you sort of wait up and you think, but
least I can give you this, and that's.
Speaker 3 (10:07):
Right, that's right.
Speaker 4 (10:09):
Tell me, how is your work different? Because I guess
you're so. You're such a great orator and talker and
this it flows so beautifully and naturally. But this, I
this must be different for you.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
The biggest thing I had to learn was one of
the best skills you can have in counseling is listening.
Now you and I know that if there's dead air
for one minute, we start talking. Yes, And I've been trained,
as we all have on radio, to just keep talking,
keep talking, keep talking, because if you stop, it goes
into panic mode and they put music.
Speaker 3 (10:40):
Emergency tape goes.
Speaker 2 (10:42):
So the biggest skill I've had to learn is sitting
and listening and while they're talking, not being scared of
dead air, like listen because then they'll keep going. So
that's been the biggest thing. And I don't talk nearly
as much as I used to imagine that, No I did.
I literally sit there and I listen. I listened because also,
you don't give advice, You just help them try and
(11:03):
work it out for themselves. Yes, because if you give
advice to somebody, if it's the wrong advice, that's a
big thing. So I have really say to myself every
day two years one mouth, yeah, which used.
Speaker 3 (11:15):
To be right all the way around.
Speaker 2 (11:18):
So I'm rewired, and that's probably bee the biggest challenge. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (11:23):
Yeah, I'm so proud of you. Do you know what
you've done for women of our age? In our fifties.
You're so right.
Speaker 3 (11:29):
It's like a.
Speaker 4 (11:30):
Collision sometimes of life. I think your fifties decade for
me going through perimenopause and menopause. I think it's been
an mind that I had cancer in my forties and
fertility problems. I think it's been the most challenging, to
be honest.
Speaker 2 (11:47):
And I don't think anyone prepares you for it. I mean,
no one really prepares you for having a baby either,
I suppose. But this menopause thing comes in so many
different and everyone's just so different. Is terrifying, isn't it.
Some of the things it does to you, which it
was funny, not funny, actually was awful. I had a
quite a young boy, you know, he has to be
about nineteen or something. This was about a few months ago,
(12:10):
and I suddenly started getting the sweats and I was
literally dripping, dripping, and I'm like, it was so embarrassing
because it's this young boy. I'm not gonna tell sorry,
I've got menopause. Had it been like a someone else,
I might have. But there was nothing I could do
about it. And I've do you know, it's funny. I've
been having watched the American election campaign. All I can
(12:33):
do is look at Carmala Harris. I don't know where
she sits in her journey. And I go back to
Hillary Clinton, all these high profile women, How the hell
do they manage menopause if they're getting bad effects from it?
I think about that all the time.
Speaker 4 (12:48):
It's not fair, is it. At times? I can remember
you sitting with a fan in the studio. You had
that fan that plugged the USB thing.
Speaker 2 (12:55):
Yeah, yeah, I still have a fan. I've got this
group of girlfriends and whenever we go to for dinner,
we bring our hands and we all sit there and honestly,
everyone else is going, what are they doing? But I don't.
I'm a funny place, actually, because I was very late, right,
funnily enough to actually stopping having all together. Yeah. So,
(13:16):
and I have had not constant symptoms, but the ones
like I've just described you have come from nowhere. Ye,
and they and the nights where I can't sleep, Oh
my god, it's the worst. Yeah, so bad. Yeah, But
then it's all just seems to and you know, sometimes
when you're moody, you can't work out why, whether is
it that or is it something else? It's hard to know.
(13:37):
You know.
Speaker 4 (13:38):
That's what I find most frustrating about it is And
if you go to a specialist, they can't tell you
at what point you are in your journey either.
Speaker 2 (13:44):
As I say, to look at your mother, don't they? Yeah,
but my mother had his direct to met very early,
so it's hard to look at her and say, what's
your journey because apparently that is quite relevant.
Speaker 3 (13:54):
Well, my mum's eighty eighty one and still getting hot
flushes the sweats.
Speaker 2 (13:59):
It's not fair some people have it. I actually had
a client once again, a woman a bit younger than me,
and it actually ruined her life. She got the worst
symptoms I've ever seen started to affect a marriage.
Speaker 4 (14:14):
It's awful, it is what did you? What have you
found helps has helped for you? I did try HRT
for a while when that was going through that.
Speaker 2 (14:21):
That was good. But as I say, then I feel
all fine again, and I think I've been one of
the lucky ones, to be honest, but just having a
hint of what it's like when it's bad, and for
some people they get that all the time for years on.
It's absolutely horrific and the brain fade.
Speaker 4 (14:41):
Yeah, Honestly, the amount of times I've been in the
middle of saying something on air and then I'll just
and I can't think, or I can't think of a word,
and the boys just look at me, and I think, do.
Speaker 2 (14:51):
You remember when we were in when we used to
work together and I had that fan going and the
boys used to tease us, tease me unmercifully. And I
think back now and I think, and I lots of
men are listening to your podcast because men need to
get on board with this totally, and young men, young men,
and be so supportive because it used to be a
joke or she's going through the church and it's actually
(15:13):
so offensive because it is, you know, we go through
so much. And I would love to think that men
listen to rage against the menopause and think how can
I best support my partner.
Speaker 3 (15:23):
I think the tide is turning, you know, Bridge.
Speaker 4 (15:24):
I've had so much beautiful feedback from series one last year,
and surprisingly it took me off guard. A lot of
men in their thirties who say thank you for educating me,
because I had no idea what it was. And they'll say,
you know, I know my mum was going through something,
but I didn't fully understand it. So thank you for
educating me, and thank you for equipping me for when
(15:46):
my partner in ten or twenty.
Speaker 3 (15:49):
Years goes through.
Speaker 4 (15:50):
That's what I've aimed to do in this and to
get the donversation, and you have done a great job
of that.
Speaker 2 (15:55):
And I really love that fact that these younger men
are very different to them grew up with.
Speaker 3 (16:00):
It can't be.
Speaker 2 (16:01):
It's amazing. They're much more in tune with being sympathetic, empathetic,
understanding and not just going on my wife's gating to
you know, all that rubbish we used to get. I
think I've seen a massive change in. I think young
men these days are amazing and it's a credit.
Speaker 4 (16:19):
To their mothers and their fathers for bringing up this
new generation of men. You've got Charlie's what now, twenty
twenty five.
Speaker 2 (16:27):
I know he's a grown up, and my daughter's twenty three, Alex,
so I know they're I know they're big, mature people now. Believable,
But I do I've really seen a change in. I
think I was listening to one of your podcasts with
one of an expert she was saying this, the metopause
now is a bit like what mental health was a
few years ago where Noah is not talking and no
(16:48):
one was talking about it. Now it is becoming something.
Thank goodness for you and other people who are tackling it. Yeah,
because it's still a little bit of one of those
forbiddens up.
Speaker 3 (16:58):
Their stigma, which is ridicul It's.
Speaker 2 (17:00):
Ridiculous because half the population go through no.
Speaker 3 (17:02):
I know, and one third of is it one third
of women?
Speaker 4 (17:05):
At any time, I was doing a bit of research
and you were on a wonderful podcast, The Power of Women.
Speaker 2 (17:11):
Oh yeah, that was very digillic.
Speaker 4 (17:13):
Yeah, of course, and you said something that I think
a lot of women can relate to.
Speaker 3 (17:18):
I'm going to play the audio because.
Speaker 2 (17:19):
We were talking to all our girlfriends. We're all fifty plus, say,
every single one of them has had to go through
some sort of change transition, whether it be like me
losing a job, my friend losing her husband, empty nest,
the kids have moved out, menopause, feeling invisible. And I
think that age group of women go through such a
lot and the attention is not on them. Nobody seems
(17:42):
to realize what an invisible age this is.
Speaker 3 (17:45):
I love that an invisible age And do.
Speaker 2 (17:47):
You know it's so interesting. I've and it is exactly
what I said. They're watching friends, every one of my friends.
Something's going on. Whether it might even be elderly parents
getting sick.
Speaker 3 (17:58):
That's a big thing.
Speaker 2 (17:58):
Yeah, and there is. I really feel like this group
of women I put, let's say fifty plus need a
lot more support than what they're getting. I get a
lot of women that age coming into my rooms as well,
and often it is literally I don't know who I am,
I don't know what to do with myself, or I've
forgotten how to talk to my husband and all of
these things and no one you know, when you're young. Occasionally,
(18:20):
not that we want men whistling at us, but we
used to get noticed. That we're a group of women
who no longer get noticed. And it's not a matter
of vanity or anything else. It's just like, oh, what
would she do? Just there? You're not what would that
person who's had all this life experience. No, And it
is a very difficult age, and I would love to
see a lot more done. In fact, before I did
(18:42):
the counselor, I wanted to start a network group for women,
which then the counseling can have just never got around
to it. My partner Andy Webster, who's she's a counselor
as well. We've for a long time wanted to put
together this workshop where we bring women together who going
through whatever it is and give them support one strategies,
(19:05):
lover it skills how to find themselves again and get
through that. And look it is a projected on the list.
Speaker 3 (19:13):
Yeah, I think that would be brilliant.
Speaker 2 (19:15):
Yeah, I do so you felt that. I mean, you're
a lot younger than maybe it with your friends.
Speaker 3 (19:19):
Not that much younger. Yeah, I have and girlfriends as well.
You know.
Speaker 4 (19:23):
I'll tell you a funny story. I was in a
major retailer the other day in the shoe department, go figure,
yes and yes, Imelda standing there, and I was right
in the staffer's face, like I was right there, right there.
There were two younger girls either side of me who
came after, and she went to them, but she didn't
(19:44):
even It was like truly didn't exist. It really was
like I was invisible. And one of them fortunately said
I'm sorry this lady was here first, and I thought,
I'm not that hard to like, I'm here, I am here, Like.
Speaker 2 (20:01):
It is an invisible age.
Speaker 3 (20:03):
Really, invisible.
Speaker 2 (20:04):
Yeah, it really is. It's almost like you just discarded,
like you know, we are an aging society, but it's
a shame. In other countries, aging is considered the older
you get, the more valuable you get, and I feel
like in this country that is not the case at all. Yeah,
but you know, I think, I think I'm turning sixty
this year and I'm really excited about I've got no
(20:26):
problem with getting older. I love the idea of being
sixtycause I love the world life, all of that experience.
But you can't buy no, But I am feeling all
those things that you're just talking about, the invisibility and
everything else, and it is something that we have to
work on together as a group of women and give
(20:46):
us the skills to get through that in the strategies,
because it is. It's a terrible, terrible feeling. And I
don't think men get that, No they don't. They don't know.
Speaker 3 (20:54):
Well, they're seen as a silver fox and a stallion.
Speaker 2 (20:58):
Look at those. Yeah, all those lives really suiting. We
get a line and we suddenly you know, it really is. Look,
it's getting better slowly. But I was never aware of
all the things that women of this age go through.
I think you I don't know whether you've heard that
A lot of the homeless population and women.
Speaker 4 (21:17):
Over sixty, which is just marriage breakups and yet or
no super or not all of that being, you know,
not being out of work because I will bring.
Speaker 2 (21:26):
Up the children.
Speaker 3 (21:27):
It is disgusting because they give all of themselves.
Speaker 4 (21:29):
And that that's another point I want to make, and
that you have made previously, is that don't in effect,
don't rest on your laurels, like okay, I've had a
thirty six year career in radio, but don't take for
granted whatever industry you're in that well it just sounds
dye that it won't be discarded.
Speaker 3 (21:48):
Have a backup.
Speaker 2 (21:49):
Well, okay, I talked a lot about that in that
podcast that would diguill It. I never had a backup,
and I look back now and think, you idiot, But
I actually just just kept going and going and going,
and I never ever crossed my mind that was stupid.
So the worst thing about which you're right, That's what
I learned, is always have a plan, be and don't
think you're too old to not knowskill reskill. And I
(22:14):
think when I went to Union, I was the oldest
by a mile, but all the young kids were just
lovely to me. They couldn't have been nicer. They were
better at their essays, but they all said in the
practical stuff, we can't get to where you are because
you're older. You've just got an experience which we can't see.
Speaker 4 (22:30):
So I mean, you're so good at talking to people
life experience.
Speaker 2 (22:34):
Well, we've got so much to offer, and we can't
let menopause or anything else, or invisibility or anything else
put us off and not feeling empowered that. You know,
I'm excited about the next twenty years, assuming I really
am excited about it, but I am passionate about I
would really love to help, really would love to get
(22:56):
this workshop together, which you need to do it. It's
on my list, Pats.
Speaker 4 (23:01):
No, But I mean good things worth doing take time.
It's like this podcast to you know this seriously, Bridge
was like three four years in the making.
Speaker 2 (23:09):
And what made you so passionate because you were going through.
Speaker 3 (23:12):
Because I was frustrated.
Speaker 4 (23:14):
So when I was going through it, I just thought,
why aren't we talking about this?
Speaker 3 (23:19):
Like why is it such a dirty word?
Speaker 4 (23:22):
Like there was so much emphasis on conception and pregnancy
and birth, but why not again, It's that whole discarded
generation where I thought, well, hang on, no, and you
work decades and decades and decades to perfect your craft
and then this hits.
Speaker 3 (23:37):
And you know, for me it was hang on.
Speaker 4 (23:39):
So I had infertility for five years and lots of
pregnancy loss. Then I got cancer and then I hit
It's like, now.
Speaker 3 (23:45):
You want me to go through.
Speaker 2 (23:46):
This, Yes, I know, and we'll be a mum. And
it has there has to be a situation of empathy.
It's like, it really annoys me that women don't get
sanitary products. We're talking about half she's still.
Speaker 3 (23:59):
On probably I can't remember.
Speaker 2 (24:02):
All I know is that you know, when half the
population is going through something, surely and the empathy from
men is one of the most important things. And I
do think hopefully that is thanks to you and other people,
is coming to light. But you know the other thing
where women have babies, and that's not easy. I mean,
I'm glad we do. I'm glad we get to do
that to be that person, but that is tough when
(24:24):
you think what you go through with that, and then
you come out the other end and off you go
again into this other abyss of.
Speaker 3 (24:30):
Yeah, go and be professional again now.
Speaker 4 (24:32):
Plus you just feel like you're carrying so many bags
and everything.
Speaker 2 (24:36):
I know, and I think I just think it's really
important to have it out in the open, and it
would be good, and it would have been nice if
I could have when I was in the room sweating
with that young boy embarrassed, well, I think I just
think it caught me by surprise and I was horrified,
and I just if it had been you sitting opposite me,
that would have been easy. But I think in retrospect,
(24:58):
I should have just said, also, you don't reveal too
much about which, of course it might be a bit
personal too, but I would definitely. I mean, the girls
and I talk about it all the time. We spend
our life talking about it with our fans, and that's
great and everything else. And look, some of my friends
have had it absolutely terribly, like they have really their
whole lives have been affected by it. I changed their life,
(25:19):
Britchie about to stop worker one has one's been on
hrt off, hrt, tried this, tried that, just ongoing and
very down in the dumps and you know, not a
depressive personality at all. So that's been really really tricky.
Speaker 4 (25:36):
How many of your clients that you see through counseling
do you think perhaps their mental state can be metopause
part of it.
Speaker 2 (25:45):
A few, like a lot of women who come in
who are in that range. I often say, I'm not
sure I'm feeling this way if it's that or But
usually it always plays a part, and some, as I've said,
really drastically bad I was. I don't know. I don't
know the answers to it because I haven't gone into
(26:06):
it far enough because I haven't needed to. But I
do think always heading down the Eastern track's a good
idea to just seeing if there's some some sort of
Chinese medicine that can help you. Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 3 (26:18):
If it means standing on your head up against a wall.
Speaker 2 (26:20):
If it helps, Yeah, It's like I do try to
get pregnant to do the bicycle legs.
Speaker 4 (26:24):
Yes, you would have done it, pillow up under the
bum you every single day. Well, I was taking Chinese herbs,
so we were flying up to Sydney once a month.
We had this German Chinese doctor, doctor Snell.
Speaker 3 (26:36):
He was brilliant.
Speaker 4 (26:36):
He had this tiny little practice in Chatswood and we
go up once a month and he do dry needling.
And I think it was at Moxie. Have you ever
seen mine?
Speaker 2 (26:45):
I had moxy. I had Moxy, the burning box I
called it. Yeah, I had that when I was trying
to get pregnant.
Speaker 3 (26:50):
Yes, it's brilliant.
Speaker 4 (26:51):
And you know what so I had about because I've
got indo and polycystic. So he cleared. I mean you've
always got that, you can't get rid of it. But
cleared all the gun out of my system. And then
you pregnant and got pregnant with ordering and we've done
IVF before that that didn't work.
Speaker 3 (27:04):
It's look, it's whatever.
Speaker 2 (27:05):
Works, whatever works for you, and I don't care how crazy. Yeah,
it's like I remember when Jim Stein's had cancer and
he's doing everything he could and he ended up drinking?
Is you? And I think at once that's and I'm like,
I was thinking, go for it, like whatever you can
do to help yourself. But I think the best thing
is talking about it, getting your partners talking about it.
(27:27):
Without that And I really think back to those days
with that fan and the mockery like it was constant,
wasn't it, And look good hearted in every way, But
I think back on now. I think I shouldn't have
had to probably had to know that.
Speaker 4 (27:42):
No, No, I think yeah, there's lessons to be learned.
Speaker 2 (27:45):
I think, yeah, yeah, and you're teaching them. Patsy. I'm
very proud of you.
Speaker 3 (27:49):
I'm proud of you.
Speaker 2 (27:51):
Well, I'm prouder proud.
Speaker 4 (27:54):
Like So if women are grappling and they're in Melbourne
because you're where is your.
Speaker 2 (28:01):
Oh that's very nice. If you it's Bridget Duco Counseling.
I've got rooms in South Yarra, so if you can
just yeah, google Bridget do Co Counseling.
Speaker 3 (28:08):
I've got rooms in South Yarra. No I haven't.
Speaker 2 (28:12):
You've got rooms in Richmond, and you've got a website.
I've got a website. So it's b D yeh one
of those things. What's underscore hyphen hyphen bd bd?
Speaker 4 (28:24):
Oh god, this is the rain fog. Just just blame
the brain fog. We can put a link, we can
put a link.
Speaker 2 (28:31):
We can absolutely, I see that's menopause. Anyway, it's b
D Counseling dot com dot means because it's so embarrassing.
Thanks for the plug, which I've just mucked up.
Speaker 3 (28:46):
No you haven't.
Speaker 4 (28:47):
We'll put a link up because seriously, if people are grappling,
it helps to talk to someone that's not necessarily your
partner or a girlfriend.
Speaker 3 (28:55):
You just need to find the right mix, don't you.
Speaker 2 (28:57):
And I just think, and there are strategies, which you know.
I love helping people try and not feel the pain
their feeling. But I put some things into place. There
are a lot of things you can do. And I
think often with women our age, you've spent so much
time throwing everything in to the kids, You've actually forgotten
how to soothe yourself.
Speaker 3 (29:13):
It's shop syndrome. I call it.
Speaker 2 (29:15):
Yep.
Speaker 4 (29:15):
You just you always put yourself last. And it's not
a conscious decision you make. I just think, as a mum,
you do that.
Speaker 2 (29:22):
You do that, and then suddenly it's like, oh, I've
forgotten how to look after myself. I don't know how
to start. So yeah, I mean that's where And I
am passionate aboutetting these workshops, which I will must one
of these days.
Speaker 3 (29:33):
I'd love to see you do that. Yeah, you should
do this podcast series.
Speaker 2 (29:37):
Now I'm on yours. I don't want to do mine.
Speaker 3 (29:38):
I'm quite happy a big guests, Bridgie, thank you so much.
Speaker 2 (29:42):
You just adorable.
Speaker 3 (29:43):
I love you a bit well, I.
Speaker 2 (29:44):
Love you too, and I'm good on you. I think
this is a really amazing podcast. I've listened to every episode,
and I also think good on you because I know
you've put the whole thing together yourself and it's amazing.
Speaker 1 (29:54):
So good on, congratulations, Thank you. Bridge to Chloe. You know,
some people just come into our lives reason. She's certainly
one of those blessings in my life. Join me in
episode five, as I hit the halfway mark of series
two of Rage Against the Menopause, I talk about a
breakthrough in treatment.
Speaker 2 (30:13):
Ossie.
Speaker 1 (30:14):
Women suffering from debilitating symptoms finally have access to the
first new kind of hormone therapy to be subsidized by
the federal government in more than two decades. We explore
those options with Professor doctor Sonya Davison, endochronology lead at
the Gene Hales Clinic. I'm Petrina Jones, and thanks for
(30:34):
listening Rage Against the Menopause.
Popular Podcasts
United States of Kennedy
United States of Kennedy is a podcast about our cultural fascination with the Kennedy dynasty. Every week, hosts Lyra Smith and George Civeris go into one aspect of the Kennedy story.
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com