July 16, 2025 • 22 mins
Chyka Keebaugh is back in this relaxed, easy to listen to chat with Pats. The Queen of Style is inspiring, as she talks about motherhood and explains how she took charge of her menopause journey and encourages other women to do the same!
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hi, it's Petrina Jones. Okay, I'll admit to being all
fan girl with my new BFF Cheeker keyboard. In the
last episode of Rage Against the Menopause, I mean, who
could blame me? It was like catching up with a
lifelong girlfriend. We talked turning the big fifty, readjusting to
an empty nest when your kids leave home, and the
liberation of learning to tell people no. Finally, if you
(00:23):
no doubt love part one, then this second installment will
leave you feeling truly empowered. Cheka tells me how she
took charge of her menopause journey and encourages the rest
of us to do the same. Queen Chica is back.
Poor a drink, sit back and enjoy menopause. It's coming
for you no matter what. Let's build a village of support.
Speaker 2 (00:46):
Why is it so damn hot in here?
Speaker 1 (00:48):
Menopause is so hot right now?
Speaker 2 (00:50):
I think them fly and menopause.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
Women just want to feel hurt. Rage against the Menopause
And I'm not taking anything, and maybe maybe I should be.
Speaker 2 (01:02):
Look, I have to tell you it's a total game changer. Yeah,
And are you do? You have the night sweats and
the and it's got.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
You know what I hate Now I do my makeup
and I have to get a tissue because I'm okay.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
So literally, for me, I was waking up saturated. Just
go and I. The first time it happened, I thought,
am I sick? What strong infection or something? There's something wrong.
Then I worked it out, but as soon as I
went on to my gel its three days, I fell
back to my normal self. So I would say, and
I'm not saying or go to the doctor, have a
(01:36):
chat and just see. Because the number of my girlfriends,
because I'm so open about talking about it, have who
have called me up and said, I don't know what
to do, And I just think our doctors have to
be there to help us. And I know a lot
of doctors kind of push it aside, but they're getting
more and more understanding towards it, so I feel like,
do it.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
Yeah, And it's I find when you have that. It's
not every night, but when you do have those hot flushes,
it's exhausted. It drains the life blood out of you.
Speaker 2 (02:05):
What is it. I was sitting next to a lady
at a dinner and she literally went, I've never seen
anyone's skin just break her, and I said to you, okay,
she says, oh my god, I don't know what to do.
And I said, just fan yourself and or go outside,
do whatever you have to do to come down, because
it's like an internal fire. It is.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
It's like, yeah, it's hard to just like opulear power plant. Yeah,
right down the like a center rod down the middle of.
Speaker 2 (02:28):
Your body correct and you think, how is this happening?
Speaker 1 (02:31):
And you know you can't even enjoy a glass of wine.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
Kind of joy anything actually.
Speaker 1 (02:34):
Because it just it sets the flushes off.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
Well, I found that my anxiety, which was I felt,
was about only myself, like I was doubting everything I
was doing. Yes, hated who I was. It was being
so mean and nasty to me, and I thought, I
don't like this is not who I am, and I
need to fix it. The only person that can fix
it is me, So get out there and do some homework.
Speaker 1 (02:56):
But the self doubt, the self doubt, and a time
in your life where.
Speaker 2 (03:01):
You don't need that on top of everything else, need that,
on top of putting on a bit of extra weight
that you can't move, or your boobs are changing and
getting bigger and all those things. So No, it's not fun. No,
but you can. You can definitely change it. Oh, you
give me so much hope in but you do need
to just you know what, I think. You just need
to check in with your doctor, get every test you can.
Speaker 1 (03:21):
How did you find Speaking of diet, did you change
your diet.
Speaker 2 (03:24):
And everything from you know, doing two meals a day
to fasting to keto exercise whatever I could do, But
it's really that mid section. It's just changing. And my
boobs have definitely grown, like I've definitely gone up a
couple of sizes. And that's the bit I don't like, Like,
I just want to be well, I'm never going to
(03:46):
be able to go backwards. But it's funny how your
head becomes so great and you understand everything. Your body
doesn't catch up with that.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
So yeah, oh my head just seems messy all the time,
and you know that fogginess. I promise you go on
to that HRT.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
And and I'm also an not being a big advert
I'm not saying you should do it because there's many alternatives,
but I do feel like in such a short amount
of time, I was back into control and switch. Yeah yeah, wow, yeah,
So what else did you do so I did well,
obviously I did that. I did the Marina, which was
the slow estrogen ye, the progesterone tablet. And then I've
(04:19):
just started doing nice things for myself, go for a walk,
put my ear pods on. I never did stuff like that.
I was always on the phone or doing things, just
giving myself some quiet time. I'm a massive reader, and
I'd come home sometimes at three o'clock in the afternoon
and go, you know what, you are allowed to sit
on the couch and read if you want to, or
watch TV or whatever it is. You get in your
head all these things that you're not meant to do. Yes,
(04:41):
so you suddenly have these.
Speaker 1 (04:42):
Rules productive with my time. I've got a time to
sit and read a book for two hours.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
Correct, But yeah, exactly what's not what's going to change?
And look, I, as I was saying to you just
before we went on to doing this, I'm so ainly organized.
Yet I have everything really literally set up ready to go.
So giving those little moments to myself, even if it's
making a cup of tea and buying a book, or
buying a magazine and sitting and reading it, or getting
on my iPad looking at Pinterest, all those things are
(05:09):
really nurturing and they're nice things to do so and
I also too, made a massive effort with my girlfriends,
picking up the phone, chatting to them, seeing where they're at,
checking in all that kind of.
Speaker 1 (05:18):
I think that's been my greatest area of support is girlfriends,
which is part of the idea of what I thought,
I need to do a podcast on this and start
talking about it because women want it, women need it, yes,
and they do. They need it. They need that support.
We need to build this village and so women feel heard.
(05:39):
I just had a beautiful message on Instagram at the weekend.
There was a woman she was a nurse, and she
said she had a female supervisor who had a go
at her and she said, when I look back, it
was I was going through perimenopause and I just wasn't
wasn't coping. And she said, thank you for making me
feel heard scene and I feel so much better about
(06:03):
myself and not so hard on myself.
Speaker 2 (06:05):
That's really nice.
Speaker 1 (06:06):
But that's the thing. I think we need to support
each other and to know that while it is different
for everyone, there's a lot of common threads that we
that we're going through and it's okay. You know. The
thing when I had Audrey, I was an older mum.
I was thirty nine, and I really dreaded going to
mother's group. Yes, really dreaded it.
Speaker 2 (06:25):
I dreaded it too, really.
Speaker 1 (06:27):
And I said, and it's nothing about being elitist or
thinking you're better that. It's got nothing to do with that.
But I said to my husband, I will go to one.
I will. I'll give it a chance, but I'm not
sure it's going to be for me. And I thought
they're going to be really young mums because our area
it's predominantly younger girls. Have you know, it's thirty nine. Anyway,
I went and we all sat in a circle and
(06:49):
introduced ourselves and they were putting this sort of glow
around the whole. You know, everything's one so easy. Oh
I love being a mother. It's just it's everything i'd
hoped and wished for. And I'm thinking, while I was lucky,
Audrey was a pretty easy bait. She was six weeks
prim though, but we'd had five years of trying to
(07:11):
get pregnant. I'm trying to get pregnant and repeated miscarriages,
and it was I was just glad to be across
the line. It's just, you know. And I was honest
and it got to me and I said, well, you
know what, I'm actually really struggling because I've done full
time work in radio for twenty plus years. I've worked
full time since UNI, and now all of a sudden,
while I'm very grateful because.
Speaker 2 (07:32):
I've had to work because it's been my dream.
Speaker 1 (07:34):
Yes, and finally I'm on Matt leave, which I never
thought i'd get to try. It's actually not what I
thought it would be.
Speaker 2 (07:42):
I completely understand that because I was I was young,
and when I had CHESSI and I think I was
twenty four or twenty five, and I didn't have any
friends that had children. No, and I didn't have fun.
I had a really tough time. I broke my cocksix
having her. I think I also had postnatal depression, which
no one talked again, another conversation that no one talked
about thirty years ago, and I struggled. Bruce used to
(08:04):
walk out the door and I used to grab him, crying,
go please, don't leave me. And then when I got
pregnant with be Jan and I went to my doctor
and explained what was happening. He said, why didn't you come?
And I said, because I thought I was meant to
be coping. No one listens to me when I was
a failure. Yeah, because everyone's like, oh, it's so exciting,
it's so wonderful. No, it was hard. I couldn't feed her,
(08:24):
and then the judgment or the judgment god from the
mothercraft nurses. She came into the hospital. She said to Bruce,
your wife has to breastfeed, he said, but she I
couldn't see because of my broken cocksicks, he said, but
it's not happening. I don't want her to be crying
because she feels like this is not good enough. So
there's always this pressure of everyone comparing us to everybody else.
You're right, it's not good.
Speaker 1 (08:44):
We had so as I said, Audre was six weeks prayer,
I had pre clamps ya. She was strong as an ox.
Though she was so strong, she was in the Humidi
crip for like an hour. Chic, it was inside.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
That's why she's the woman she is today.
Speaker 1 (08:56):
Girl. Anyway, you know, I got big boot and so
when they were trying to you know, how stupid am I?
I was brought up around babies my whole life I
just thought you put them on your boob, but.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
I think we all thought that though. I just thought,
it's just.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
You're just gonna have boob and they latch on and
da da da no no. Anyway, so I had these big,
like sherriff.
Speaker 2 (09:16):
Size boobs and cracked nipples.
Speaker 1 (09:19):
So tiny because she was prim and I said to Chris,
my god, I'm gonna.
Speaker 2 (09:23):
Likes are bigger than the baby swashhad.
Speaker 1 (09:27):
Anyway, then this you know, lactation specialist came in. They're
not all negatively, they're not. But my experience wasn't great,
and she was getting really frustrated, and Audrey was screaming
the nursery down. I just had nothing. I would express
for like an hour through the night and I'd get
like twenty minutes not.
Speaker 2 (09:46):
Enough, very ridiculous. So it wasn't for you, like what
are these for?
Speaker 1 (09:50):
If I can't if I got a breastfeed? What a
waste their fum bags?
Speaker 2 (09:54):
What are you talking about?
Speaker 1 (09:55):
It's like everything I thought, it goes back to everything
that you think it's going correct, it's not.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
Because so many things weren't talked about. No, like they
were not talked about. That's it. It's funny. I had
my mum and her girlfriend for lunch a couple of
weeks ago, and I don't know why I said something
about menopause, but I did. A mum's friend went, we
don't talk about that. I said, oh no, I mean
they're both in their mid eighties, god loveless. And she's like, no, no, no,
we don't talk. No, we do talk about it. That's
how we get our information.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
We do.
Speaker 2 (10:23):
So babies, pregnancy, menopause, teenagers getting their periods, all that
sort of stuff.
Speaker 1 (10:29):
You got to talk about it, absolutely, And that's the
thing we talk about, conception, pregnancy and birth. Why don't
we talk about menopause?
Speaker 2 (10:37):
It should be just well, did you know what I
heard this the other day? You probably already know this.
But when doctors are studying and learning, they get one
tutorial on menopause sixty that's it.
Speaker 1 (10:47):
Out of the menopause inquiry. Yeah, who, I've spoken to
Senator Waters, she'll feature in this series sixty minutes. It's
extremely their entire medical degree.
Speaker 2 (10:57):
Yep, yep. So no wonder, no one knows what's I know.
Speaker 1 (11:00):
No wonder we're walking around blind like it is exactly.
I think it's up to our generation to break that chain.
Speaker 2 (11:06):
Couldn't agree with you more and you.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
Know, and I'm sure your daughter will benefit from you
being as open about it, and I think.
Speaker 2 (11:13):
And I also wanted to make sure my son understood
as well, exactly because at some point his supports partner exactly.
They need to know that it's normal. It's part of life.
It's just the same as having it. It's not the same.
But you know the concept of when you go through
a baby, which you do together, this is something you
need to go through together as well.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
So our dads are so much more involved now, correct,
you know, yep, there's so much more hands on, thank goodness.
Speaker 2 (11:34):
Thank goodness. Me and my Bruce, I think was one
of you know, he was in there obviously when I
had CHESSI but no one loved that child more than him.
He'd go into the nursery and push all the other
babies aside, and the nurses would say, you know, mister Keyble,
you can't do that because other fathers sick, their babies
are beautiful as well, and they need to be in
the center too. Yes, but look at her, she's so beautiful,
(11:54):
cheers beautiful. She has these amazing like little bow lips.
Speaker 1 (11:59):
She's still got beautiful lip.
Speaker 2 (12:00):
She's got great lips, those little lips sticking out if
she was a.
Speaker 1 (12:03):
Cute opportunity to check curly hair.
Speaker 2 (12:05):
She's got curly hair. I've got curly hair too, So
she's like me, yeah, I spent my life straight to
the humidity. Well look at this, I have to put
in a puny shot down and all the little bits
come out and you're like, oh please, I know, but
you always look good. You're gorgeous.
Speaker 1 (12:18):
So you are full on metopause. Now, yes, you're through that.
And you're saying that there is light at the.
Speaker 2 (12:25):
End of the time. I promise you there is light
at the end of the tunnel. And I think you
just have to take every day, week, month, whatever it is,
as it comes, and just allow yourself to, you know,
deal with whatever it is, and just you know, get
your blood tested if you need to. And I think
the thing for me about being on HRT that I
really I suppose it's the positive, is that my doctor
is amazing at making sure I'm constantly getting my boobs
(12:46):
checked and having blood tests to check where everything's out,
the hormones, that my thyroid or the rest of pature
on the blocks.
Speaker 1 (12:52):
No, yes, yes, all the other It's like fifty plasets too.
Speaker 2 (12:59):
Unfortunately, I feel like it's funny. I had to have
a hit replacement a year ago, and you know when
you go into hospital and they have this entire list
of all the things, do you have this? This? This?
I had no against every one of them. And I
said to the nurse, never in my life did I
know how good that would feel? And she said, do
you know how rare it is that we get a
patient like you that's got no problems, fit wealthy young.
(13:19):
I'm very, very lucky. But I do look after myself.
So as soon as there's a problem, I do go
and get it looked at. So creston, don't procrastinate, not
on something small. But if you know something's not quite right.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
And you always relase sense, don't you you do?
Speaker 2 (13:32):
Do you know when something's not quite right?
Speaker 1 (13:34):
How's the hip after the replacement? How was the recovery?
Speaker 2 (13:38):
Well, you know, it's so strange. I had gone. I've
always had a lower back problem or my entire life,
and I've seen every back doctor. I've had quartzone injections,
I've had nerves burnt out, everything done, and I went
to this amazing doctor to get an infusion, you know,
like a vitamin infusion. And when I walked in, he
said to me, you've got a problem with your hip
and I said, oh, no, it's my back. He said, no,
(13:58):
it's your hip. I want you to go and get it.
MRI went off and had that done and the result
came back that it was completely crumbled inside. I hiped
his place since the day I was born, and no
one had picked up on it. And my surgeon said,
I cannot believe you're actually.
Speaker 1 (14:11):
You're walking the way you are.
Speaker 2 (14:13):
So the first that was a year ago that I
had the right side done. My back has not like
the change. It's been a tough change just getting the
balance in the adjust and I have to do the
other side at some point just because they're both crappy bush.
I feel like a new woman. It has taken longer
than I expected, but no, I feel really really good
(14:33):
and I appreciate now. I lie in bed in the
morning every morning I lie there and I go, how
are you feeling? Yes, I go do a bit of
quick little feet What hurts today? Feet, legs hips, back, head,
nope or good jump?
Speaker 1 (14:45):
Out of bed and it's not whereas before prior.
Speaker 2 (14:48):
Well, this is lived on painkillers.
Speaker 1 (14:50):
Yeah, this is my left here.
Speaker 2 (14:52):
Have you had it looked at?
Speaker 1 (14:53):
No, just got the physio.
Speaker 2 (14:54):
No no, no, no, no you need I've got sa I
think No, no, no no, that's exactly what I had as well.
So my surgeon said to me that because of my age,
there was a whole generation of mainly women actually, that
were missed out on being told that they had this
displace yet, so you never know you might actually have
a hip problem. This way to just go get an MRI.
(15:15):
Just add that to the list when you go to
the doctor.
Speaker 1 (15:17):
Oh, the long, everbody list, the ever growing list. Tell me,
I'm dying to know. And I know you can't give
away any trade secrets. But BJ, your son's wedding, it's
scheduled for next year, Yes, and it's going to be
in Australia, Yes it is. And your excitement level.
Speaker 2 (15:33):
I am so excited, Bruce and I are so excited.
But we've just had them both here, and we've had
Beja's partner's family here as well, and we've done a
whole sort of show them everything and gone through it all.
And you know what, it's really very reant my element
and I even Bruce was like, now what are you
gonna wear? I said, oh am, I going toware There's
(15:54):
another thing I haven't even thought about. But I think
when you have children that you've watched go up and
helps get through all the trials and tribulations of life,
then they meet that person. And to see my son
as happy as he is with a woman who I
could not have chosen better myself, who brings out the
best in him and supports and loves him gorgeous and
(16:17):
unfortunately he had a really nasty accident last year. He
was sit by a car. How he's doing great, but
it has been a long recovery. But she showed me
what an amazing woman she is because she rang me.
She was on the you know, sending us information because
obviously we're having to get across to London, which wasn't
exactly around the corner. But that's when I realized this girl,
(16:39):
she's a real deal. She's the real deal. And that
makes my heart sing because I love seeing the man
that he is with her. So yeah, it's pretty special.
So I want to give them the world.
Speaker 1 (16:48):
Well, I'm not surprised with parents like you and Bruce.
I mean, you've given them such a beautiful example and
obviously a beautiful nurturing upbring.
Speaker 2 (16:56):
Although the most my family is so important to me,
like the crazy world that we live in. They are
my rocks and my stability, and they're the ones that
have helped support me. And you know, Chessie lives in
LA and I FaceTime every single day.
Speaker 1 (17:10):
How you do it? Don't?
Speaker 2 (17:12):
I can't even It's heartbreaking because I do miss them.
I miss them so much, but madly they're living their best.
Speaker 1 (17:17):
Lives and that brings you to it correct.
Speaker 2 (17:20):
And you know what the great thing about technology today
is JESSI will be on FaceTime and her boyfriend's in
the back, so I get to say hello to him,
or a girlfriend will come over and you know, they'll
talk to me. And then I had her thirtieth last year,
which she invited me and we went to Costa Rica
and there was me, fifty five year old Cheeka with
twenty thirty year olds and I remember at one point
sitting in the pool going, oh my god, what is
(17:41):
going on here? But I loved it because they've all
kept in contact. There's a little group WhatsApp, and I said,
please don't take me off this. I love listening and
watching the conversation, so I do get to be a
part of her world in a different way.
Speaker 1 (17:52):
Yes, yeah, that's that's the thing you've got to understand.
And I can feel that movement with Audrey. Now is
that Chris and I have found we've had to change
our style of parenting, not necessarily just back off, but
just tost as she's adjusting. We all need to sort
of do that together.
Speaker 2 (18:11):
And I think as long as she understands that you're
trying as well, yes, because you know, I feel sometimes
as parents we think it's our way or the highway,
but I think it's really important for kids to understand
when also not perfect though sometimes we will make mistakes.
And for me, it was really important when that happened
that i'd say to my kids, I'm sorry, yes I
had a really bad day or something happened and I
(18:32):
took it out on you, or I'm sorry that I
wasn't there for you the right thing that I correct
because then it allows them to do the same thing
that's right. So it's a good example for them. But
you know, it's an extraordinary time when you're all adjusting
to the changes extraordinary time.
Speaker 1 (18:45):
That's what it's like, dicey, And I think, like I've
just got on the train at fortite, how long does
it go for.
Speaker 2 (18:53):
It keeps going? I think it just changes. Like it's
still they're more independent and they're doing their thing, but
they still rely on you for them.
Speaker 1 (19:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:01):
I don't want to ever lose that though. No, no,
And it's funny. I now really make an effort if
be or chessy call me, and if I'm in the
middle of something, I will say excuse me, and I'll
go do yeah.
Speaker 1 (19:11):
Because it's something more important than that.
Speaker 2 (19:13):
And I probably didn't do enough of that as they
were growing up. And I suppose that's my guilt that
I worked full time, and I'm sure you understand it is,
but you feel guilty because you've had to, you know,
miss out on a sporting event because you've got to
set up a party, or you miss out on I
don't know, making lunches or whatever because you have to
get up early in the morning. But then I feel
(19:34):
like I look at my two children and they're extraordinary
work ethic, and I know it's because of what they've seen,
so you know good and the bad. It may not
happen straight away, but you will see it reflect on
the other side.
Speaker 1 (19:45):
I've had that probably the last I reckon twelve months,
that pang of guilt of oh, you know, I didn't
see the violin it assembling when she was doing violin
and that's gone, yeah, or you know, I don't know,
talking at as simple the little the little Chris was there,
one of us was there, and we sort of figured
that's why I went back to breakfast radio because I
(20:06):
was doing drive. But I went back. I thought, well,
this would be good because Chris will be there in
the morning and that's still our sort of brand now.
And then I'm out to me even though I'm comatose
and half asleep, but there's always a constant.
Speaker 2 (20:20):
There for her.
Speaker 1 (20:21):
And look, you do what you think is the best
at the time.
Speaker 2 (20:24):
You do what you are capable of doing in your
life at that time too. But you know, I always say,
the best advice I have is to keep her friends
as close to you as possible too, so that you
know what's going on, and they're in the car talking
and you hear what's happening, because they're the things that
are really important. Used to make sure that when I
was driving Beja to rugby practice and i'd take all
(20:45):
the other boys, you'd just be listening, and yeah, they
would know that you were there. And it's funny. I
was looking at my Instagram the other day and so
many of my kids' friends are still on my Instagram
from when they were fourteen or fifteen. Yeah, and it's
nice to keep checking in with them on what's going on,
particularly as they both now don't live here. But yeah,
having her friends in your life and knowing that they
can come and talk to you, it's a huge thing.
Speaker 1 (21:06):
Oh, you're so inspirational.
Speaker 2 (21:08):
I love this chat chatting to you too, it is.
Speaker 1 (21:12):
You've been just wonderful. If people want to know more
about your endeavors, they can head to your website cheek.
Speaker 2 (21:17):
You dot com, which I try and update regularly with
just things that are happening. It looks beautiful and I
love the whole sort of entertaining showing people how to
do different things, which is very much the core of
who I am. So yes, that's where you'll find what
I'm up to.
Speaker 1 (21:30):
We don't know about you, but I'm feeling so much
more optimistic about taking charge of my own menopause now
after chatting to Chica talking about inspirational kickass women in
my series, don't skip my episode with editor and TV
presenter Image and Crump, who gave women a license to
be more real when she admitted live on National TV
(21:52):
that she was having a hot flush. It's back in
episode three of my first series of Rage Against the Menopause,
Age Against the Menopause,
Hi, it's Petrina Jones. Okay, I'll admit to being all
fan girl with my new BFF Cheeker keyboard. In the
last episode of Rage Against the Menopause, I mean, who
could blame me? It was like catching up with a
lifelong girlfriend. We talked turning the big fifty, readjusting to
an empty nest when your kids leave home, and the
liberation of learning to tell people no. Finally, if you
(00:23):
no doubt love part one, then this second installment will
leave you feeling truly empowered. Cheka tells me how she
took charge of her menopause journey and encourages the rest
of us to do the same. Queen Chica is back.
Poor a drink, sit back and enjoy menopause. It's coming
for you no matter what. Let's build a village of support.
Speaker 2 (00:46):
Why is it so damn hot in here?
Speaker 1 (00:48):
Menopause is so hot right now?
Speaker 2 (00:50):
I think them fly and menopause.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
Women just want to feel hurt. Rage against the Menopause
And I'm not taking anything, and maybe maybe I should be.
Speaker 2 (01:02):
Look, I have to tell you it's a total game changer. Yeah,
And are you do? You have the night sweats and
the and it's got.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
You know what I hate Now I do my makeup
and I have to get a tissue because I'm okay.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
So literally, for me, I was waking up saturated. Just
go and I. The first time it happened, I thought,
am I sick? What strong infection or something? There's something wrong.
Then I worked it out, but as soon as I
went on to my gel its three days, I fell
back to my normal self. So I would say, and
I'm not saying or go to the doctor, have a
(01:36):
chat and just see. Because the number of my girlfriends,
because I'm so open about talking about it, have who
have called me up and said, I don't know what
to do, And I just think our doctors have to
be there to help us. And I know a lot
of doctors kind of push it aside, but they're getting
more and more understanding towards it, so I feel like,
do it.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
Yeah, And it's I find when you have that. It's
not every night, but when you do have those hot flushes,
it's exhausted. It drains the life blood out of you.
Speaker 2 (02:05):
What is it. I was sitting next to a lady
at a dinner and she literally went, I've never seen
anyone's skin just break her, and I said to you, okay,
she says, oh my god, I don't know what to do.
And I said, just fan yourself and or go outside,
do whatever you have to do to come down, because
it's like an internal fire. It is.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
It's like, yeah, it's hard to just like opulear power plant. Yeah,
right down the like a center rod down the middle of.
Speaker 2 (02:28):
Your body correct and you think, how is this happening?
Speaker 1 (02:31):
And you know you can't even enjoy a glass of wine.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
Kind of joy anything actually.
Speaker 1 (02:34):
Because it just it sets the flushes off.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
Well, I found that my anxiety, which was I felt,
was about only myself, like I was doubting everything I
was doing. Yes, hated who I was. It was being
so mean and nasty to me, and I thought, I
don't like this is not who I am, and I
need to fix it. The only person that can fix
it is me, So get out there and do some homework.
Speaker 1 (02:56):
But the self doubt, the self doubt, and a time
in your life where.
Speaker 2 (03:01):
You don't need that on top of everything else, need that,
on top of putting on a bit of extra weight
that you can't move, or your boobs are changing and
getting bigger and all those things. So No, it's not fun. No,
but you can. You can definitely change it. Oh, you
give me so much hope in but you do need
to just you know what, I think. You just need
to check in with your doctor, get every test you can.
Speaker 1 (03:21):
How did you find Speaking of diet, did you change
your diet.
Speaker 2 (03:24):
And everything from you know, doing two meals a day
to fasting to keto exercise whatever I could do, But
it's really that mid section. It's just changing. And my
boobs have definitely grown, like I've definitely gone up a
couple of sizes. And that's the bit I don't like, Like,
I just want to be well, I'm never going to
(03:46):
be able to go backwards. But it's funny how your
head becomes so great and you understand everything. Your body
doesn't catch up with that.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
So yeah, oh my head just seems messy all the time,
and you know that fogginess. I promise you go on
to that HRT.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
And and I'm also an not being a big advert
I'm not saying you should do it because there's many alternatives,
but I do feel like in such a short amount
of time, I was back into control and switch. Yeah yeah, wow, yeah,
So what else did you do so I did well,
obviously I did that. I did the Marina, which was
the slow estrogen ye, the progesterone tablet. And then I've
(04:19):
just started doing nice things for myself, go for a walk,
put my ear pods on. I never did stuff like that.
I was always on the phone or doing things, just
giving myself some quiet time. I'm a massive reader, and
I'd come home sometimes at three o'clock in the afternoon
and go, you know what, you are allowed to sit
on the couch and read if you want to, or
watch TV or whatever it is. You get in your
head all these things that you're not meant to do. Yes,
(04:41):
so you suddenly have these.
Speaker 1 (04:42):
Rules productive with my time. I've got a time to
sit and read a book for two hours.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
Correct, But yeah, exactly what's not what's going to change?
And look, I, as I was saying to you just
before we went on to doing this, I'm so ainly organized.
Yet I have everything really literally set up ready to go.
So giving those little moments to myself, even if it's
making a cup of tea and buying a book, or
buying a magazine and sitting and reading it, or getting
on my iPad looking at Pinterest, all those things are
(05:09):
really nurturing and they're nice things to do so and
I also too, made a massive effort with my girlfriends,
picking up the phone, chatting to them, seeing where they're at,
checking in all that kind of.
Speaker 1 (05:18):
I think that's been my greatest area of support is girlfriends,
which is part of the idea of what I thought,
I need to do a podcast on this and start
talking about it because women want it, women need it, yes,
and they do. They need it. They need that support.
We need to build this village and so women feel heard.
(05:39):
I just had a beautiful message on Instagram at the weekend.
There was a woman she was a nurse, and she
said she had a female supervisor who had a go
at her and she said, when I look back, it
was I was going through perimenopause and I just wasn't
wasn't coping. And she said, thank you for making me
feel heard scene and I feel so much better about
(06:03):
myself and not so hard on myself.
Speaker 2 (06:05):
That's really nice.
Speaker 1 (06:06):
But that's the thing. I think we need to support
each other and to know that while it is different
for everyone, there's a lot of common threads that we
that we're going through and it's okay. You know. The
thing when I had Audrey, I was an older mum.
I was thirty nine, and I really dreaded going to
mother's group. Yes, really dreaded it.
Speaker 2 (06:25):
I dreaded it too, really.
Speaker 1 (06:27):
And I said, and it's nothing about being elitist or
thinking you're better that. It's got nothing to do with that.
But I said to my husband, I will go to one.
I will. I'll give it a chance, but I'm not
sure it's going to be for me. And I thought
they're going to be really young mums because our area
it's predominantly younger girls. Have you know, it's thirty nine. Anyway,
I went and we all sat in a circle and
(06:49):
introduced ourselves and they were putting this sort of glow
around the whole. You know, everything's one so easy. Oh
I love being a mother. It's just it's everything i'd
hoped and wished for. And I'm thinking, while I was lucky,
Audrey was a pretty easy bait. She was six weeks
prim though, but we'd had five years of trying to
(07:11):
get pregnant. I'm trying to get pregnant and repeated miscarriages,
and it was I was just glad to be across
the line. It's just, you know. And I was honest
and it got to me and I said, well, you
know what, I'm actually really struggling because I've done full
time work in radio for twenty plus years. I've worked
full time since UNI, and now all of a sudden,
while I'm very grateful because.
Speaker 2 (07:32):
I've had to work because it's been my dream.
Speaker 1 (07:34):
Yes, and finally I'm on Matt leave, which I never
thought i'd get to try. It's actually not what I
thought it would be.
Speaker 2 (07:42):
I completely understand that because I was I was young,
and when I had CHESSI and I think I was
twenty four or twenty five, and I didn't have any
friends that had children. No, and I didn't have fun.
I had a really tough time. I broke my cocksix
having her. I think I also had postnatal depression, which
no one talked again, another conversation that no one talked
about thirty years ago, and I struggled. Bruce used to
(08:04):
walk out the door and I used to grab him, crying,
go please, don't leave me. And then when I got
pregnant with be Jan and I went to my doctor
and explained what was happening. He said, why didn't you come?
And I said, because I thought I was meant to
be coping. No one listens to me when I was
a failure. Yeah, because everyone's like, oh, it's so exciting,
it's so wonderful. No, it was hard. I couldn't feed her,
(08:24):
and then the judgment or the judgment god from the
mothercraft nurses. She came into the hospital. She said to Bruce,
your wife has to breastfeed, he said, but she I
couldn't see because of my broken cocksicks, he said, but
it's not happening. I don't want her to be crying
because she feels like this is not good enough. So
there's always this pressure of everyone comparing us to everybody else.
You're right, it's not good.
Speaker 1 (08:44):
We had so as I said, Audre was six weeks prayer,
I had pre clamps ya. She was strong as an ox.
Though she was so strong, she was in the Humidi
crip for like an hour. Chic, it was inside.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
That's why she's the woman she is today.
Speaker 1 (08:56):
Girl. Anyway, you know, I got big boot and so
when they were trying to you know, how stupid am I?
I was brought up around babies my whole life I
just thought you put them on your boob, but.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
I think we all thought that though. I just thought,
it's just.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
You're just gonna have boob and they latch on and
da da da no no. Anyway, so I had these big,
like sherriff.
Speaker 2 (09:16):
Size boobs and cracked nipples.
Speaker 1 (09:19):
So tiny because she was prim and I said to Chris,
my god, I'm gonna.
Speaker 2 (09:23):
Likes are bigger than the baby swashhad.
Speaker 1 (09:27):
Anyway, then this you know, lactation specialist came in. They're
not all negatively, they're not. But my experience wasn't great,
and she was getting really frustrated, and Audrey was screaming
the nursery down. I just had nothing. I would express
for like an hour through the night and I'd get
like twenty minutes not.
Speaker 2 (09:46):
Enough, very ridiculous. So it wasn't for you, like what
are these for?
Speaker 1 (09:50):
If I can't if I got a breastfeed? What a
waste their fum bags?
Speaker 2 (09:54):
What are you talking about?
Speaker 1 (09:55):
It's like everything I thought, it goes back to everything
that you think it's going correct, it's not.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
Because so many things weren't talked about. No, like they
were not talked about. That's it. It's funny. I had
my mum and her girlfriend for lunch a couple of
weeks ago, and I don't know why I said something
about menopause, but I did. A mum's friend went, we
don't talk about that. I said, oh no, I mean
they're both in their mid eighties, god loveless. And she's like, no, no, no,
we don't talk. No, we do talk about it. That's
how we get our information.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
We do.
Speaker 2 (10:23):
So babies, pregnancy, menopause, teenagers getting their periods, all that
sort of stuff.
Speaker 1 (10:29):
You got to talk about it, absolutely, And that's the
thing we talk about, conception, pregnancy and birth. Why don't
we talk about menopause?
Speaker 2 (10:37):
It should be just well, did you know what I
heard this the other day? You probably already know this.
But when doctors are studying and learning, they get one
tutorial on menopause sixty that's it.
Speaker 1 (10:47):
Out of the menopause inquiry. Yeah, who, I've spoken to
Senator Waters, she'll feature in this series sixty minutes. It's
extremely their entire medical degree.
Speaker 2 (10:57):
Yep, yep. So no wonder, no one knows what's I know.
Speaker 1 (11:00):
No wonder we're walking around blind like it is exactly.
I think it's up to our generation to break that chain.
Speaker 2 (11:06):
Couldn't agree with you more and you.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
Know, and I'm sure your daughter will benefit from you
being as open about it, and I think.
Speaker 2 (11:13):
And I also wanted to make sure my son understood
as well, exactly because at some point his supports partner exactly.
They need to know that it's normal. It's part of life.
It's just the same as having it. It's not the same.
But you know the concept of when you go through
a baby, which you do together, this is something you
need to go through together as well.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
So our dads are so much more involved now, correct,
you know, yep, there's so much more hands on, thank goodness.
Speaker 2 (11:34):
Thank goodness. Me and my Bruce, I think was one
of you know, he was in there obviously when I
had CHESSI but no one loved that child more than him.
He'd go into the nursery and push all the other
babies aside, and the nurses would say, you know, mister Keyble,
you can't do that because other fathers sick, their babies
are beautiful as well, and they need to be in
the center too. Yes, but look at her, she's so beautiful,
(11:54):
cheers beautiful. She has these amazing like little bow lips.
Speaker 1 (11:59):
She's still got beautiful lip.
Speaker 2 (12:00):
She's got great lips, those little lips sticking out if
she was a.
Speaker 1 (12:03):
Cute opportunity to check curly hair.
Speaker 2 (12:05):
She's got curly hair. I've got curly hair too, So
she's like me, yeah, I spent my life straight to
the humidity. Well look at this, I have to put
in a puny shot down and all the little bits
come out and you're like, oh please, I know, but
you always look good. You're gorgeous.
Speaker 1 (12:18):
So you are full on metopause. Now, yes, you're through that.
And you're saying that there is light at the.
Speaker 2 (12:25):
End of the time. I promise you there is light
at the end of the tunnel. And I think you
just have to take every day, week, month, whatever it is,
as it comes, and just allow yourself to, you know,
deal with whatever it is, and just you know, get
your blood tested if you need to. And I think
the thing for me about being on HRT that I
really I suppose it's the positive, is that my doctor
is amazing at making sure I'm constantly getting my boobs
(12:46):
checked and having blood tests to check where everything's out,
the hormones, that my thyroid or the rest of pature
on the blocks.
Speaker 1 (12:52):
No, yes, yes, all the other It's like fifty plasets too.
Speaker 2 (12:59):
Unfortunately, I feel like it's funny. I had to have
a hit replacement a year ago, and you know when
you go into hospital and they have this entire list
of all the things, do you have this? This? This?
I had no against every one of them. And I
said to the nurse, never in my life did I
know how good that would feel? And she said, do
you know how rare it is that we get a
patient like you that's got no problems, fit wealthy young.
(13:19):
I'm very, very lucky. But I do look after myself.
So as soon as there's a problem, I do go
and get it looked at. So creston, don't procrastinate, not
on something small. But if you know something's not quite right.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
And you always relase sense, don't you you do?
Speaker 2 (13:32):
Do you know when something's not quite right?
Speaker 1 (13:34):
How's the hip after the replacement? How was the recovery?
Speaker 2 (13:38):
Well, you know, it's so strange. I had gone. I've
always had a lower back problem or my entire life,
and I've seen every back doctor. I've had quartzone injections,
I've had nerves burnt out, everything done, and I went
to this amazing doctor to get an infusion, you know,
like a vitamin infusion. And when I walked in, he
said to me, you've got a problem with your hip
and I said, oh, no, it's my back. He said, no,
(13:58):
it's your hip. I want you to go and get it.
MRI went off and had that done and the result
came back that it was completely crumbled inside. I hiped
his place since the day I was born, and no
one had picked up on it. And my surgeon said,
I cannot believe you're actually.
Speaker 1 (14:11):
You're walking the way you are.
Speaker 2 (14:13):
So the first that was a year ago that I
had the right side done. My back has not like
the change. It's been a tough change just getting the
balance in the adjust and I have to do the
other side at some point just because they're both crappy bush.
I feel like a new woman. It has taken longer
than I expected, but no, I feel really really good
(14:33):
and I appreciate now. I lie in bed in the
morning every morning I lie there and I go, how
are you feeling? Yes, I go do a bit of
quick little feet What hurts today? Feet, legs hips, back, head,
nope or good jump?
Speaker 1 (14:45):
Out of bed and it's not whereas before prior.
Speaker 2 (14:48):
Well, this is lived on painkillers.
Speaker 1 (14:50):
Yeah, this is my left here.
Speaker 2 (14:52):
Have you had it looked at?
Speaker 1 (14:53):
No, just got the physio.
Speaker 2 (14:54):
No no, no, no, no you need I've got sa I
think No, no, no no, that's exactly what I had as well.
So my surgeon said to me that because of my age,
there was a whole generation of mainly women actually, that
were missed out on being told that they had this
displace yet, so you never know you might actually have
a hip problem. This way to just go get an MRI.
(15:15):
Just add that to the list when you go to
the doctor.
Speaker 1 (15:17):
Oh, the long, everbody list, the ever growing list. Tell me,
I'm dying to know. And I know you can't give
away any trade secrets. But BJ, your son's wedding, it's
scheduled for next year, Yes, and it's going to be
in Australia, Yes it is. And your excitement level.
Speaker 2 (15:33):
I am so excited, Bruce and I are so excited.
But we've just had them both here, and we've had
Beja's partner's family here as well, and we've done a
whole sort of show them everything and gone through it all.
And you know what, it's really very reant my element
and I even Bruce was like, now what are you
gonna wear? I said, oh am, I going toware There's
(15:54):
another thing I haven't even thought about. But I think
when you have children that you've watched go up and
helps get through all the trials and tribulations of life,
then they meet that person. And to see my son
as happy as he is with a woman who I
could not have chosen better myself, who brings out the
best in him and supports and loves him gorgeous and
(16:17):
unfortunately he had a really nasty accident last year. He
was sit by a car. How he's doing great, but
it has been a long recovery. But she showed me
what an amazing woman she is because she rang me.
She was on the you know, sending us information because
obviously we're having to get across to London, which wasn't
exactly around the corner. But that's when I realized this girl,
(16:39):
she's a real deal. She's the real deal. And that
makes my heart sing because I love seeing the man
that he is with her. So yeah, it's pretty special.
So I want to give them the world.
Speaker 1 (16:48):
Well, I'm not surprised with parents like you and Bruce.
I mean, you've given them such a beautiful example and
obviously a beautiful nurturing upbring.
Speaker 2 (16:56):
Although the most my family is so important to me,
like the crazy world that we live in. They are
my rocks and my stability, and they're the ones that
have helped support me. And you know, Chessie lives in
LA and I FaceTime every single day.
Speaker 1 (17:10):
How you do it? Don't?
Speaker 2 (17:12):
I can't even It's heartbreaking because I do miss them.
I miss them so much, but madly they're living their best.
Speaker 1 (17:17):
Lives and that brings you to it correct.
Speaker 2 (17:20):
And you know what the great thing about technology today
is JESSI will be on FaceTime and her boyfriend's in
the back, so I get to say hello to him,
or a girlfriend will come over and you know, they'll
talk to me. And then I had her thirtieth last year,
which she invited me and we went to Costa Rica
and there was me, fifty five year old Cheeka with
twenty thirty year olds and I remember at one point
sitting in the pool going, oh my god, what is
(17:41):
going on here? But I loved it because they've all
kept in contact. There's a little group WhatsApp, and I said,
please don't take me off this. I love listening and
watching the conversation, so I do get to be a
part of her world in a different way.
Speaker 1 (17:52):
Yes, yeah, that's that's the thing you've got to understand.
And I can feel that movement with Audrey. Now is
that Chris and I have found we've had to change
our style of parenting, not necessarily just back off, but
just tost as she's adjusting. We all need to sort
of do that together.
Speaker 2 (18:11):
And I think as long as she understands that you're
trying as well, yes, because you know, I feel sometimes
as parents we think it's our way or the highway,
but I think it's really important for kids to understand
when also not perfect though sometimes we will make mistakes.
And for me, it was really important when that happened
that i'd say to my kids, I'm sorry, yes I
had a really bad day or something happened and I
(18:32):
took it out on you, or I'm sorry that I
wasn't there for you the right thing that I correct
because then it allows them to do the same thing
that's right. So it's a good example for them. But
you know, it's an extraordinary time when you're all adjusting
to the changes extraordinary time.
Speaker 1 (18:45):
That's what it's like, dicey, And I think, like I've
just got on the train at fortite, how long does
it go for.
Speaker 2 (18:53):
It keeps going? I think it just changes. Like it's
still they're more independent and they're doing their thing, but
they still rely on you for them.
Speaker 1 (19:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:01):
I don't want to ever lose that though. No, no,
And it's funny. I now really make an effort if
be or chessy call me, and if I'm in the
middle of something, I will say excuse me, and I'll
go do yeah.
Speaker 1 (19:11):
Because it's something more important than that.
Speaker 2 (19:13):
And I probably didn't do enough of that as they
were growing up. And I suppose that's my guilt that
I worked full time, and I'm sure you understand it is,
but you feel guilty because you've had to, you know,
miss out on a sporting event because you've got to
set up a party, or you miss out on I
don't know, making lunches or whatever because you have to
get up early in the morning. But then I feel
(19:34):
like I look at my two children and they're extraordinary
work ethic, and I know it's because of what they've seen,
so you know good and the bad. It may not
happen straight away, but you will see it reflect on
the other side.
Speaker 1 (19:45):
I've had that probably the last I reckon twelve months,
that pang of guilt of oh, you know, I didn't
see the violin it assembling when she was doing violin
and that's gone, yeah, or you know, I don't know,
talking at as simple the little the little Chris was there,
one of us was there, and we sort of figured
that's why I went back to breakfast radio because I
(20:06):
was doing drive. But I went back. I thought, well,
this would be good because Chris will be there in
the morning and that's still our sort of brand now.
And then I'm out to me even though I'm comatose
and half asleep, but there's always a constant.
Speaker 2 (20:20):
There for her.
Speaker 1 (20:21):
And look, you do what you think is the best
at the time.
Speaker 2 (20:24):
You do what you are capable of doing in your
life at that time too. But you know, I always say,
the best advice I have is to keep her friends
as close to you as possible too, so that you
know what's going on, and they're in the car talking
and you hear what's happening, because they're the things that
are really important. Used to make sure that when I
was driving Beja to rugby practice and i'd take all
(20:45):
the other boys, you'd just be listening, and yeah, they
would know that you were there. And it's funny. I
was looking at my Instagram the other day and so
many of my kids' friends are still on my Instagram
from when they were fourteen or fifteen. Yeah, and it's
nice to keep checking in with them on what's going on,
particularly as they both now don't live here. But yeah,
having her friends in your life and knowing that they
can come and talk to you, it's a huge thing.
Speaker 1 (21:06):
Oh, you're so inspirational.
Speaker 2 (21:08):
I love this chat chatting to you too, it is.
Speaker 1 (21:12):
You've been just wonderful. If people want to know more
about your endeavors, they can head to your website cheek.
Speaker 2 (21:17):
You dot com, which I try and update regularly with
just things that are happening. It looks beautiful and I
love the whole sort of entertaining showing people how to
do different things, which is very much the core of
who I am. So yes, that's where you'll find what
I'm up to.
Speaker 1 (21:30):
We don't know about you, but I'm feeling so much
more optimistic about taking charge of my own menopause now
after chatting to Chica talking about inspirational kickass women in
my series, don't skip my episode with editor and TV
presenter Image and Crump, who gave women a license to
be more real when she admitted live on National TV
(21:52):
that she was having a hot flush. It's back in
episode three of my first series of Rage Against the Menopause,
Age Against the Menopause,
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