September 18, 2024 • 16 mins
Part 2 of Patsy’s chat with Author Kathy Lette rounds out this debut series of Rage Against The Menopause. They talk about the challenges of raising teenage daughters and that ever present Guilt Gland! Also what’s on the other side of Menopause, or the Post-Menopause. Go forth and be fabulous!
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
I'm Petrina Jones and this is my new podcast, Rage
Against the Menopause. We go into this final installment of
series one with a bang and part two of my
interview with author Kathy Lett. Like her book Husband Replacement Therapy,
Episode eight had plenty of laugh out loud moments, definitely
helping us to see the lighter side of menopause, but
(00:23):
also offering hope that over the Rainbow Bridge awaits the
best time of a woman's life. Enjoy carpe the hell
out of DM.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
So getting back to what's great about postmenopause, Okay, first
of all.
Speaker 3 (00:38):
No period crabs.
Speaker 4 (00:39):
Yeah, no pregnancy scares.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
You've got all that tampon money to spend, right, and
you're no longer sort of being judged constantly by men.
Even though I think women come into their sexual prime
from fifty onwards.
Speaker 1 (00:56):
I'm still waiting for that, Kathy. I have to say,
I'm still waiting.
Speaker 3 (01:00):
Its secret is HRT. I think HRT is the rocket
field that you need. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:05):
Oh, look, a lot of women I've spoken to previously
that they've got the patches and it's changed their lives.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
Yeah, because I mean, in evolutionary terms, the menopause is
a new phenomenon because once we're all dead at like
you know, twenty five thirty two, right, and so in
evolutionary terms, to live this long is a new phenomenon.
So I don't think the post menopause, you know, is
why wouldn't you want to just go back to feeling
(01:31):
how you did?
Speaker 3 (01:32):
So that's all it does. It just brings your hormone
levels back to where they were.
Speaker 2 (01:37):
And the new area of medicine and everyone's exploring now
is actually hormone treatment for men, because the opposite happens
to blokes as they old, their estrogen comes up and
their testosterone drops, which is why they suddenly start crying
in the.
Speaker 3 (01:50):
Movies and whatever.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
And the divorce rates in Australia are really, really are
really high. And the two top times most of us
is in Australia initiated by women, and two peak times
is when the last child finishes high school and when
the husband retires. Because I think men want different things,
like men are like I want to stay at home
and nest, and women are like, I've nested, I've roasted
(02:14):
four thousand flocks of lamb, you know, billion.
Speaker 3 (02:19):
Acres of toast.
Speaker 2 (02:21):
You know, I want to go up Everest and down
the Amazon.
Speaker 1 (02:25):
Thinking Ruby in your book exactly the same, exact great.
Speaker 2 (02:28):
Yeah, and I think men pull up their psychological socks.
They are going to find themselves left behind. And we
know that marriage suits men much more suits women. I
don't know if you've been across all this, Patsy, but
married men live longer than single men have his heart
disease and mental problems. Where single women live longer than
married women have this heart disease and mental problems. So
I think it's young women who are getting PMT post
(02:51):
monogamy tensions. So you know, men need to make themselves
more attractive to us right now.
Speaker 1 (02:57):
You like this some sort of Buddha that you give
me so much hope because I'm still sort of too
smack bang in the middle of it.
Speaker 4 (03:04):
And you think, you know what's on the other side.
How old is your daughter thirteen? She's just turned thirteen thirteen.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
Well, that's the other difficult thing for women now, is
we have our children later.
Speaker 3 (03:17):
Yes, So just when our.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
Hormones are leaving, yes, in our fifties, their hormones are kicking.
Speaker 4 (03:24):
Yes, yes, like a hormone sandwich.
Speaker 3 (03:27):
That's right.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
And mothers and daughters can have a lot of fights
at that time because it's just like a hormonal hurricane. Yes,
and also I don't know if your daughter has she
hit the terrible teams yet?
Speaker 4 (03:38):
Oh what do you think?
Speaker 3 (03:40):
Yeah? Oh my god?
Speaker 1 (03:40):
Okay, yeah, but you know what we bring our daughters.
We don't want them to be weeping violets because I
wouldn't want her to be like that. I wanted to
have some fire in her guts. So you know, as
long as she does it compassionately. She's a very kind
little girl. I shouldn't say little girl here I am.
She's a young woman. She's very kind, and that's what
Chris and I hope for her most of all, is
(04:01):
just to be kind to people and have empathy and
the rest will come. And be yourself, stand up for yourself.
Speaker 4 (04:07):
Certainly.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
I've taught her to stand up for yourself because I
really didn't. I'm the youngest with three brothers who always
stood you know, did the talking for me because they
were protecting me, probably over protective, but that didn't arm
me very well right through even today.
Speaker 4 (04:23):
You know, I'm not good at standing up for myself.
Speaker 1 (04:26):
So I've really tried to turn make it different, hopefully
for her, because it's a bloody tough world.
Speaker 3 (04:34):
It is.
Speaker 2 (04:34):
Well, yes, I mean I'm when I give talks in schools,
I always said to girls, stand on your own Tuesda
lettos and don't wait to be rescued by some night
in shining ARMANI yes, be your own, independent, strong self.
Speaker 3 (04:51):
But getting back to the teenage thing, I mean I
was a terrible teen Obviously.
Speaker 2 (04:55):
I was like a tiller the team because I was
going through the whole Few Blues saga.
Speaker 3 (05:00):
And so when my.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
Daughter hit her teens and she became really difficult, I
think my mother was just having a good old cackle,
you know, the haha, your turn. But I do want
to say to any mum's listening that teenage girls get
taken hostage by their hormones at like thirteen, but by
about eighteen seventeen eighteen, they are coming out the other side.
But it can be really tough. But I've got one
(05:22):
fabulous survival tip for you. If your daughter ever hits
you and kicks you and says I wish you'd just die,
you just take a big drag on a cigarette, a
big gulp of wine and say I'm doing my best, Darce,
that's my top TiO.
Speaker 4 (05:38):
How eld is your daughter now?
Speaker 2 (05:40):
Oh she's great, she's thirty one now, but she was
when she was very judgmental.
Speaker 3 (05:45):
They get very judgmental their mom's.
Speaker 2 (05:47):
I think it's because they have to define themselves by
breaking away from their mom absolutely, So you know, it's
like living with a taliban. I wasn't allowed to laugh, sing,
dance where she was. Yes, I know, and yeah, and
I remember one day I was going out and I
had a short, pink, leopard skinned miniskirt on. I knew
she wouldn't approve, so I crept out to the front
(06:08):
door and I opened the front door, and she heard me,
and she suddenly came running after me and said, what
are you wearing?
Speaker 3 (06:16):
Go back to your room. You're not going out dressed.
I remember.
Speaker 2 (06:19):
I said, surely, my legs are okay, I can still
wear a short skirt.
Speaker 3 (06:23):
She said, it's not the legs, Mum. The skirt doesn't
go with your face.
Speaker 4 (06:28):
Oh ouch, that that's a burdw Yeah, that's a burn.
Speaker 2 (06:33):
Low self esteem, is herreditary You get it from your
deenage daughters.
Speaker 1 (06:37):
Well, I put a lipstick on the other day and
came out and Audrey goes, oh, you wearing that lipstick?
Speaker 4 (06:43):
Are you today? It's a beautiful red? What's wrong with it? Well,
you know, Mamma thought, oh, your little cow, that was terrible.
Speaker 3 (06:54):
Your self esteem sings down is limbo low.
Speaker 2 (06:57):
It sings down lower than Kim Kardashian's bikini.
Speaker 1 (07:01):
I thought I was doing so well last week. I
even put earrings on. I thought, you know what, I
was exhausted nothing. I'm going to put a pair of
earrings on that will help brighten my mood. And you know,
so I'm all happy and smiley. Look up in the
rear vision mirror. I'd put two different bloody ear rings on,
hadn't I.
Speaker 2 (07:15):
Oh my god, I know that that's the brain fog.
What I was going to say to women about the
sensational second act. My whole message to women is to
go forth and be fabulous, you know, and don't feel
any guilt about it, because our whole lives.
Speaker 3 (07:30):
We never put ourselves first.
Speaker 2 (07:32):
No, I mean, this is first all problems, but we
always take the bird chop.
Speaker 3 (07:36):
Yes, never get that.
Speaker 1 (07:37):
I always say burnt chop syndrome. It's one of my
favorite sayings exactly.
Speaker 2 (07:43):
So we've never put ourselves first, but as your kids
grow up, and as your daughter, when your daughter actually
cuts the psychological umbilical call that's kept her tethered to
the kept you tethered to the kitchen by your heart
and your apron strings. First of all, we've been so
time poor moms. It's something you have time and your freedom.
(08:05):
And don't let your guilt gland throb. Women have we
feel guilty about everything. You know, should I breastfeed? Should
I bottle feed? Should should I send in at the
right school?
Speaker 3 (08:14):
You know? Should I?
Speaker 2 (08:16):
Are they getting there enough dose of calcium and their broccoli?
Like we're all sagonizing about we're doing the We're being
the best mother, but this is so this. Forget all
that now. Don't let your guilt gland throp Just do
what you want to do. We have a window between
about about you know, when you get through the menopause
fifty seven to I don't know seventy seven. Just get
(08:40):
that bucket list, or the fucket list, as my character
called it, and start ticking off those adventures. I call
it adventure before dementia. I don't mean to be facetious
about them, not at all, but make sure you can't
pay the hell out of dim carpe dem like there's
no tomorrow, because you never know what's coming and you
(09:01):
deserve to have, you know, this sensational second act and
to have fun and frivolity female camaraderie. If your husband
or partner male partner won't travel with you, go with
your girlfriends, go with your sisters.
Speaker 3 (09:15):
You know, don't ask permission, and book the bloody thing.
You do it because you you have earned it.
Speaker 4 (09:20):
Yeah, that's so.
Speaker 3 (09:23):
Do bold, be beautiful, be fun, be fabulous.
Speaker 4 (09:27):
Do ruby, book the cruise, and off you go.
Speaker 2 (09:31):
That's right in the Book of God, she accidentally books
a cougar crew. Yes, I just want to do the
research on that.
Speaker 4 (09:40):
Oh no, it was.
Speaker 1 (09:41):
It was such a great book, like serious, laugh out
loud moments, and it was just burled through it in
like two days.
Speaker 2 (09:48):
I was going to say, if I have any gift
at all, I think it's writing down the way women
talk when there's no men around. But it's also sometimes
putting into words what women think but haven't necessarily had
the hoodspur to say out loud. Yeah, And I think
I get that strength because I've got three sensational sisters
(10:08):
and a wonderful mum. There's been a lot of girl
talk always in my home, and also a lot of
female camaraderie and support. So when you've got three sisters,
you've got three brothers and they probably protect you in
a different way. But when you've got three sisters, whenever
there's any trouble, you know, the wagons circle. They're not no,
not not wagons, the flame retardant, you know, super tanks
(10:33):
circle in protection. So I think that's what has always
given me the confidence to say what I'm put what
I'm thinking on paper.
Speaker 1 (10:41):
And that's very evident right through the book with Emerald
and Amber and just that, as you say, the camaraderie
like it's there right through the book, and it was
really refreshing for me because obviously having been brought up
in a house full of stinky boys. That and I
love that you referred to Chinese burns because we don't
talk about I don't know if anyone here knows what
(11:01):
a Chinese burnie's anymore.
Speaker 4 (11:03):
They were assholes.
Speaker 1 (11:05):
Down and do the Chinese burn And the other thing
I loved I was saying on air with Christian the
other day and he was taking the pee out of
me because I called it the linen the linen press,
and he goes.
Speaker 4 (11:19):
What's a linen? Yeah, he goes, you mean though he
didn't know what it was.
Speaker 1 (11:23):
And I said, you know where you keep the sheets
and the towels and the pillow cases.
Speaker 4 (11:27):
He goes, linen press. Are you from downtown abbey or something?
Speaker 3 (11:31):
Oh that is funny, isn't that funny? I didn't think
about that, but it's true. Yeah, it was the best
place to hide, place to hide from three brothers.
Speaker 4 (11:40):
That's right. No, any were the listening who.
Speaker 2 (11:44):
Don't have sisters, I would just reiterate that we you
know there is the sisterhode as well. You know how
important it is to be to cherish your female friends.
You know that you let your cups, bra cups running
over with love, because I'd be very.
Speaker 3 (12:00):
Flat without my human wonderbras.
Speaker 2 (12:03):
So it's you do have a lot of Australian women
are lucky in that regard that we have that really
deep and loyal and loving sense of sisterhood. For example,
two women in Istraet who slept with the same man
are called stick sisters camera right, yeah, rather than rivalries
like you slept with him too, wasn't he terrible?
Speaker 3 (12:24):
You know, and have good So really lean.
Speaker 2 (12:28):
Into the sisterhood as you're going through the menopause and
on the other side, because husbands come and go, but
you know, your friends last forever. And in the book
I've just written now, The Revenge Club, that's about four
middle aged women who get back together to take revenge
on the men who sabotage their careers. Because what menopause
(12:49):
or women have to understand is that you are going
to now find yourselves being sidelined at work and being
put out to career pasture for the crime of no
longer being you know, deemed to be attractive. And you know,
part of the problem why women buy into cosmetic surgery,
et cetera, is we never see women who look like
us on television. Eighty five percent of people on Australian
(13:12):
television over fifty men.
Speaker 3 (13:15):
The women just get disappeared.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
And when I wanted when I was writing The Revenge
Club and I talked to my agent about it, my
agent was like, yeah, I don't know. So people don't
want to read about middle aged women. They're just not
that sexy. And a publisher then said, get this. A
publisher then said to me, middle aged women are like,
you know, Mogadishu and Sudan.
Speaker 3 (13:39):
We know they exist, but nobody wants to go there.
Speaker 4 (13:41):
Oh my god.
Speaker 3 (13:44):
So just be prepared for what is coming your way.
You'll be dismissed at work.
Speaker 2 (13:48):
As a menopausal hot mess, offered redundancies and all of that.
And just to get back to the brain fog in menopause.
Speaker 3 (13:56):
The new medical research that.
Speaker 2 (13:58):
Says, yes, there is brain fog, but it reduces a
menopausal woman's cognitive abilities to the same level as the
average man because normally were Abut.
Speaker 3 (14:10):
Isn't that hilarious? I love that you didn't know that.
I that anyone dismissed you and writes you off.
Speaker 1 (14:19):
Kathy Lette rounds out my debut series of Rage Against
the Menopause. I highly recommend her book Husband Replacement Therapy
through Penguin Books in Australia or all great bookstores. I
want to thank you for downloading my episodes and reaching out.
As we build our Rage community of support, women are
telling me they feel heard, like Fiona, who says, hey, Pats, sorry,
(14:42):
that's really familiar, but hey, I listen to you every morning,
so you do kind of feel familiar.
Speaker 4 (14:46):
To me.
Speaker 1 (14:47):
I'm a longtime listener to the Christian O'Connell Show, so
have obviously heard and seen all the advertising for Rage
Against the Menopause. But I'm not a podcast kind of person. Well,
I wasn't a podcast kind of person until Saturday. I
don't know what prompted me to put your podcast on
as I was driving to work. Looking back, I'd say
(15:08):
it was a bad menopause weekend and maybe I just
needed some sort of validation. By the time I got
to work, I was sobbing. For the first time in
five years. I didn't feel alone. I didn't feel crazy
or misunderstood or old or useless or unwanted. I finally
(15:29):
felt heard and seen.
Speaker 4 (15:32):
I'm now on.
Speaker 1 (15:32):
Episode four and every episode has brought out a different
reaction from me, usually goosebumps because I feel like you're
reading my mind, or tears because, like I said, I
finally feel seen. Fiona and everyone else on here right now,
I hear you, I see you, and together we can
(15:55):
get rid of the stigma surrounding menopause.
Speaker 4 (15:59):
I'm Petrina Joe
Speaker 3 (16:05):
App
I'm Petrina Jones and this is my new podcast, Rage
Against the Menopause. We go into this final installment of
series one with a bang and part two of my
interview with author Kathy Lett. Like her book Husband Replacement Therapy,
Episode eight had plenty of laugh out loud moments, definitely
helping us to see the lighter side of menopause, but
(00:23):
also offering hope that over the Rainbow Bridge awaits the
best time of a woman's life. Enjoy carpe the hell
out of DM.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
So getting back to what's great about postmenopause, Okay, first
of all.
Speaker 3 (00:38):
No period crabs.
Speaker 4 (00:39):
Yeah, no pregnancy scares.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
You've got all that tampon money to spend, right, and
you're no longer sort of being judged constantly by men.
Even though I think women come into their sexual prime
from fifty onwards.
Speaker 1 (00:56):
I'm still waiting for that, Kathy. I have to say,
I'm still waiting.
Speaker 3 (01:00):
Its secret is HRT. I think HRT is the rocket
field that you need. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:05):
Oh, look, a lot of women I've spoken to previously
that they've got the patches and it's changed their lives.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
Yeah, because I mean, in evolutionary terms, the menopause is
a new phenomenon because once we're all dead at like
you know, twenty five thirty two, right, and so in
evolutionary terms, to live this long is a new phenomenon.
So I don't think the post menopause, you know, is
why wouldn't you want to just go back to feeling
(01:31):
how you did?
Speaker 3 (01:32):
So that's all it does. It just brings your hormone
levels back to where they were.
Speaker 2 (01:37):
And the new area of medicine and everyone's exploring now
is actually hormone treatment for men, because the opposite happens
to blokes as they old, their estrogen comes up and
their testosterone drops, which is why they suddenly start crying
in the.
Speaker 3 (01:50):
Movies and whatever.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
And the divorce rates in Australia are really, really are
really high. And the two top times most of us
is in Australia initiated by women, and two peak times
is when the last child finishes high school and when
the husband retires. Because I think men want different things,
like men are like I want to stay at home
and nest, and women are like, I've nested, I've roasted
(02:14):
four thousand flocks of lamb, you know, billion.
Speaker 3 (02:19):
Acres of toast.
Speaker 2 (02:21):
You know, I want to go up Everest and down
the Amazon.
Speaker 1 (02:25):
Thinking Ruby in your book exactly the same, exact great.
Speaker 2 (02:28):
Yeah, and I think men pull up their psychological socks.
They are going to find themselves left behind. And we
know that marriage suits men much more suits women. I
don't know if you've been across all this, Patsy, but
married men live longer than single men have his heart
disease and mental problems. Where single women live longer than
married women have this heart disease and mental problems. So
I think it's young women who are getting PMT post
(02:51):
monogamy tensions. So you know, men need to make themselves
more attractive to us right now.
Speaker 1 (02:57):
You like this some sort of Buddha that you give
me so much hope because I'm still sort of too
smack bang in the middle of it.
Speaker 4 (03:04):
And you think, you know what's on the other side.
How old is your daughter thirteen? She's just turned thirteen thirteen.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
Well, that's the other difficult thing for women now, is
we have our children later.
Speaker 3 (03:17):
Yes, So just when our.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
Hormones are leaving, yes, in our fifties, their hormones are kicking.
Speaker 4 (03:24):
Yes, yes, like a hormone sandwich.
Speaker 3 (03:27):
That's right.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
And mothers and daughters can have a lot of fights
at that time because it's just like a hormonal hurricane. Yes,
and also I don't know if your daughter has she
hit the terrible teams yet?
Speaker 4 (03:38):
Oh what do you think?
Speaker 3 (03:40):
Yeah? Oh my god?
Speaker 1 (03:40):
Okay, yeah, but you know what we bring our daughters.
We don't want them to be weeping violets because I
wouldn't want her to be like that. I wanted to
have some fire in her guts. So you know, as
long as she does it compassionately. She's a very kind
little girl. I shouldn't say little girl here I am.
She's a young woman. She's very kind, and that's what
Chris and I hope for her most of all, is
(04:01):
just to be kind to people and have empathy and
the rest will come. And be yourself, stand up for yourself.
Speaker 4 (04:07):
Certainly.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
I've taught her to stand up for yourself because I
really didn't. I'm the youngest with three brothers who always
stood you know, did the talking for me because they
were protecting me, probably over protective, but that didn't arm
me very well right through even today.
Speaker 4 (04:23):
You know, I'm not good at standing up for myself.
Speaker 1 (04:26):
So I've really tried to turn make it different, hopefully
for her, because it's a bloody tough world.
Speaker 3 (04:34):
It is.
Speaker 2 (04:34):
Well, yes, I mean I'm when I give talks in schools,
I always said to girls, stand on your own Tuesda
lettos and don't wait to be rescued by some night
in shining ARMANI yes, be your own, independent, strong self.
Speaker 3 (04:51):
But getting back to the teenage thing, I mean I
was a terrible teen Obviously.
Speaker 2 (04:55):
I was like a tiller the team because I was
going through the whole Few Blues saga.
Speaker 3 (05:00):
And so when my.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
Daughter hit her teens and she became really difficult, I
think my mother was just having a good old cackle,
you know, the haha, your turn. But I do want
to say to any mum's listening that teenage girls get
taken hostage by their hormones at like thirteen, but by
about eighteen seventeen eighteen, they are coming out the other side.
But it can be really tough. But I've got one
(05:22):
fabulous survival tip for you. If your daughter ever hits
you and kicks you and says I wish you'd just die,
you just take a big drag on a cigarette, a
big gulp of wine and say I'm doing my best, Darce,
that's my top TiO.
Speaker 4 (05:38):
How eld is your daughter now?
Speaker 2 (05:40):
Oh she's great, she's thirty one now, but she was
when she was very judgmental.
Speaker 3 (05:45):
They get very judgmental their mom's.
Speaker 2 (05:47):
I think it's because they have to define themselves by
breaking away from their mom absolutely, So you know, it's
like living with a taliban. I wasn't allowed to laugh, sing,
dance where she was. Yes, I know, and yeah, and
I remember one day I was going out and I
had a short, pink, leopard skinned miniskirt on. I knew
she wouldn't approve, so I crept out to the front
(06:08):
door and I opened the front door, and she heard me,
and she suddenly came running after me and said, what
are you wearing?
Speaker 3 (06:16):
Go back to your room. You're not going out dressed.
I remember.
Speaker 2 (06:19):
I said, surely, my legs are okay, I can still
wear a short skirt.
Speaker 3 (06:23):
She said, it's not the legs, Mum. The skirt doesn't
go with your face.
Speaker 4 (06:28):
Oh ouch, that that's a burdw Yeah, that's a burn.
Speaker 2 (06:33):
Low self esteem, is herreditary You get it from your
deenage daughters.
Speaker 1 (06:37):
Well, I put a lipstick on the other day and
came out and Audrey goes, oh, you wearing that lipstick?
Speaker 4 (06:43):
Are you today? It's a beautiful red? What's wrong with it? Well,
you know, Mamma thought, oh, your little cow, that was terrible.
Speaker 3 (06:54):
Your self esteem sings down is limbo low.
Speaker 2 (06:57):
It sings down lower than Kim Kardashian's bikini.
Speaker 1 (07:01):
I thought I was doing so well last week. I
even put earrings on. I thought, you know what, I
was exhausted nothing. I'm going to put a pair of
earrings on that will help brighten my mood. And you know,
so I'm all happy and smiley. Look up in the
rear vision mirror. I'd put two different bloody ear rings on,
hadn't I.
Speaker 2 (07:15):
Oh my god, I know that that's the brain fog.
What I was going to say to women about the
sensational second act. My whole message to women is to
go forth and be fabulous, you know, and don't feel
any guilt about it, because our whole lives.
Speaker 3 (07:30):
We never put ourselves first.
Speaker 2 (07:32):
No, I mean, this is first all problems, but we
always take the bird chop.
Speaker 3 (07:36):
Yes, never get that.
Speaker 1 (07:37):
I always say burnt chop syndrome. It's one of my
favorite sayings exactly.
Speaker 2 (07:43):
So we've never put ourselves first, but as your kids
grow up, and as your daughter, when your daughter actually
cuts the psychological umbilical call that's kept her tethered to
the kept you tethered to the kitchen by your heart
and your apron strings. First of all, we've been so
time poor moms. It's something you have time and your freedom.
(08:05):
And don't let your guilt gland throb. Women have we
feel guilty about everything. You know, should I breastfeed? Should
I bottle feed? Should should I send in at the
right school?
Speaker 3 (08:14):
You know? Should I?
Speaker 2 (08:16):
Are they getting there enough dose of calcium and their broccoli?
Like we're all sagonizing about we're doing the We're being
the best mother, but this is so this. Forget all
that now. Don't let your guilt gland throp Just do
what you want to do. We have a window between
about about you know, when you get through the menopause
fifty seven to I don't know seventy seven. Just get
(08:40):
that bucket list, or the fucket list, as my character
called it, and start ticking off those adventures. I call
it adventure before dementia. I don't mean to be facetious
about them, not at all, but make sure you can't
pay the hell out of dim carpe dem like there's
no tomorrow, because you never know what's coming and you
(09:01):
deserve to have, you know, this sensational second act and
to have fun and frivolity female camaraderie. If your husband
or partner male partner won't travel with you, go with
your girlfriends, go with your sisters.
Speaker 3 (09:15):
You know, don't ask permission, and book the bloody thing.
You do it because you you have earned it.
Speaker 4 (09:20):
Yeah, that's so.
Speaker 3 (09:23):
Do bold, be beautiful, be fun, be fabulous.
Speaker 4 (09:27):
Do ruby, book the cruise, and off you go.
Speaker 2 (09:31):
That's right in the Book of God, she accidentally books
a cougar crew. Yes, I just want to do the
research on that.
Speaker 4 (09:40):
Oh no, it was.
Speaker 1 (09:41):
It was such a great book, like serious, laugh out
loud moments, and it was just burled through it in
like two days.
Speaker 2 (09:48):
I was going to say, if I have any gift
at all, I think it's writing down the way women
talk when there's no men around. But it's also sometimes
putting into words what women think but haven't necessarily had
the hoodspur to say out loud. Yeah, And I think
I get that strength because I've got three sensational sisters
(10:08):
and a wonderful mum. There's been a lot of girl
talk always in my home, and also a lot of
female camaraderie and support. So when you've got three sisters,
you've got three brothers and they probably protect you in
a different way. But when you've got three sisters, whenever
there's any trouble, you know, the wagons circle. They're not no,
not not wagons, the flame retardant, you know, super tanks
(10:33):
circle in protection. So I think that's what has always
given me the confidence to say what I'm put what
I'm thinking on paper.
Speaker 1 (10:41):
And that's very evident right through the book with Emerald
and Amber and just that, as you say, the camaraderie
like it's there right through the book, and it was
really refreshing for me because obviously having been brought up
in a house full of stinky boys. That and I
love that you referred to Chinese burns because we don't
talk about I don't know if anyone here knows what
(11:01):
a Chinese burnie's anymore.
Speaker 4 (11:03):
They were assholes.
Speaker 1 (11:05):
Down and do the Chinese burn And the other thing
I loved I was saying on air with Christian the
other day and he was taking the pee out of
me because I called it the linen the linen press,
and he goes.
Speaker 4 (11:19):
What's a linen? Yeah, he goes, you mean though he
didn't know what it was.
Speaker 1 (11:23):
And I said, you know where you keep the sheets
and the towels and the pillow cases.
Speaker 4 (11:27):
He goes, linen press. Are you from downtown abbey or something?
Speaker 3 (11:31):
Oh that is funny, isn't that funny? I didn't think
about that, but it's true. Yeah, it was the best
place to hide, place to hide from three brothers.
Speaker 4 (11:40):
That's right. No, any were the listening who.
Speaker 2 (11:44):
Don't have sisters, I would just reiterate that we you
know there is the sisterhode as well. You know how
important it is to be to cherish your female friends.
You know that you let your cups, bra cups running
over with love, because I'd be very.
Speaker 3 (12:00):
Flat without my human wonderbras.
Speaker 2 (12:03):
So it's you do have a lot of Australian women
are lucky in that regard that we have that really
deep and loyal and loving sense of sisterhood. For example,
two women in Istraet who slept with the same man
are called stick sisters camera right, yeah, rather than rivalries
like you slept with him too, wasn't he terrible?
Speaker 3 (12:24):
You know, and have good So really lean.
Speaker 2 (12:28):
Into the sisterhood as you're going through the menopause and
on the other side, because husbands come and go, but
you know, your friends last forever. And in the book
I've just written now, The Revenge Club, that's about four
middle aged women who get back together to take revenge
on the men who sabotage their careers. Because what menopause
(12:49):
or women have to understand is that you are going
to now find yourselves being sidelined at work and being
put out to career pasture for the crime of no
longer being you know, deemed to be attractive. And you know,
part of the problem why women buy into cosmetic surgery,
et cetera, is we never see women who look like
us on television. Eighty five percent of people on Australian
(13:12):
television over fifty men.
Speaker 3 (13:15):
The women just get disappeared.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
And when I wanted when I was writing The Revenge
Club and I talked to my agent about it, my
agent was like, yeah, I don't know. So people don't
want to read about middle aged women. They're just not
that sexy. And a publisher then said, get this. A
publisher then said to me, middle aged women are like,
you know, Mogadishu and Sudan.
Speaker 3 (13:39):
We know they exist, but nobody wants to go there.
Speaker 4 (13:41):
Oh my god.
Speaker 3 (13:44):
So just be prepared for what is coming your way.
You'll be dismissed at work.
Speaker 2 (13:48):
As a menopausal hot mess, offered redundancies and all of that.
And just to get back to the brain fog in menopause.
Speaker 3 (13:56):
The new medical research that.
Speaker 2 (13:58):
Says, yes, there is brain fog, but it reduces a
menopausal woman's cognitive abilities to the same level as the
average man because normally were Abut.
Speaker 3 (14:10):
Isn't that hilarious? I love that you didn't know that.
I that anyone dismissed you and writes you off.
Speaker 1 (14:19):
Kathy Lette rounds out my debut series of Rage Against
the Menopause. I highly recommend her book Husband Replacement Therapy
through Penguin Books in Australia or all great bookstores. I
want to thank you for downloading my episodes and reaching out.
As we build our Rage community of support, women are
telling me they feel heard, like Fiona, who says, hey, Pats, sorry,
(14:42):
that's really familiar, but hey, I listen to you every morning,
so you do kind of feel familiar.
Speaker 4 (14:46):
To me.
Speaker 1 (14:47):
I'm a longtime listener to the Christian O'Connell Show, so
have obviously heard and seen all the advertising for Rage
Against the Menopause. But I'm not a podcast kind of person. Well,
I wasn't a podcast kind of person until Saturday. I
don't know what prompted me to put your podcast on
as I was driving to work. Looking back, I'd say
(15:08):
it was a bad menopause weekend and maybe I just
needed some sort of validation. By the time I got
to work, I was sobbing. For the first time in
five years. I didn't feel alone. I didn't feel crazy
or misunderstood or old or useless or unwanted. I finally
(15:29):
felt heard and seen.
Speaker 4 (15:32):
I'm now on.
Speaker 1 (15:32):
Episode four and every episode has brought out a different
reaction from me, usually goosebumps because I feel like you're
reading my mind, or tears because, like I said, I
finally feel seen. Fiona and everyone else on here right now,
I hear you, I see you, and together we can
(15:55):
get rid of the stigma surrounding menopause.
Speaker 4 (15:59):
I'm Petrina Joe
Speaker 3 (16:05):
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