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September 4, 2024 37 mins

“Harrowing” is how Nicky Buckley describes her Menopause journey.  The Aussie Model and TV Presenter shares how her Mother’s death from Ovarian Cancer made her terrified of H.R.T. and how she’s regained her inner goddess.

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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Going by the beat of her own drum is aptly
the title of this installment of Rage Against the Menopause.
I'm Patrina Jones and I met Nicki Buckley through a
mutual friend, fashion designer Lisa Barron. The model and TV
presenter synonymous with shows like Sale of the Century and
Perfect Match in the nineties and more recently Postcards, was

(00:23):
keen to share her lived experience on menopause. Reeling from
the early death of her mother from ovarian cancer. Nicki
has always been vigilant about her health and fitness, and
a timely guest for episode eight, coinciding with Gene Hale's
Women's Health Week. Well, my next guest is an Ossie

(00:45):
TV presenter and model.

Speaker 2 (00:47):
Very well known.

Speaker 1 (00:48):
She became known in the nineties as co host to
Greg Evans on The Blind. Daish also knew it as
Perfect Match before that, and of course who could forget
this Sale.

Speaker 2 (01:00):
Love This Century and now here's Glenn rep. Thank you
very much, very fox Hie, Hello, walk in the Pile.

Speaker 3 (01:10):
Great to be when youre a Thursday.

Speaker 4 (01:11):
Night, A very exciting night for carry out the Champion
before we talked to him.

Speaker 3 (01:15):
Please give a very warm welcome to Nicky Buckley.

Speaker 2 (01:19):
Hey Nikki, how are you love?

Speaker 3 (01:21):
Hearing that?

Speaker 1 (01:23):
That takes me back to being in secondary school and
mum cooking meat and three vegs for dinner.

Speaker 2 (01:29):
No, no, no, but you've been doing it for a
decade time.

Speaker 3 (01:32):
Like, just hearing that is just fond fond, fond, fond
fond memories.

Speaker 2 (01:37):
Tell me about Sale of the Century? How did it
come about?

Speaker 3 (01:40):
Well, I mean I started out my I guess, my
career in that area as a model. Yeah, and then
Murray when I was overseas, Murray got a job modeling
on Sale of the Century. Your husband, yes, And so
I remember coming back from overseas and him saying, come
and have lunch with me in Channel nine. So I
went in and got spotted by I guess one of

(02:01):
the producers from Grundy's, and so I started, I auditioned
and started as a model on the show for a
long time, which was just fabulous. And actually had a
dinner on Sunday with some of the girlfriends that I
used to work with you and like you know, nearly
forty years yeah, so we had great, great time, great friendship.

(02:22):
Got to work with Mars on the show and from
that I got to audition when they were re auditioning
for Blind Day, Perfect Match. Grundies ran both shows, so
they invited all of us models to audition for the show,
and I got the gig on Blind Day Perfect Match
with Greg Evans. So I left the modeling went and

(02:44):
did that for only six months my time there, I
you know, realistically kind of got the sack after six
months because I wouldn't you know, I was pretty straight
and and so you know, they wanted someone a little
bit more giggly and flirty, and and I was quite
you know, they'd say before i'd go out it tonight. Now,
remember when you go out and I just you know,
say this joke to you know, to Greg and do

(03:05):
a little bit of this. And I'd be like, yeah, yeah, yeah,
I'd go out and I'd be so straight, so, you know,
fair enough. So then I realized after doing that that
I really enjoyed the job, and so I went and
studied acting and took voice lessons just to kind of
get me over that fear of making a fool of myself.
And that's where I was self constitute straight. Yeah, And
so then at a certain point then I went back

(03:28):
to modeling on sale and a lot of my friends,
you know, and people said to me, why are you
going back to modeling, because you're now a presenter, you know,
why are you going back? And I'm like, well, because
it's a good job. I've got a mortgage and I
enjoy the work. But what I did along the way
was I started studying acting, which I loved, and then
the opportunity came up to audition for the role actually

(03:49):
for the weather Over, the filling in for Rob Jel
and so I auditioned for that, and because of my
confidence I built up with the acting. I guess I
got that role. And then we were asked to audition
for the co host on Sale with Glenn, and I
guess all of that kind of fell into place. I
felt really when I was asked to audition for that,

(04:09):
I was really confident because I'd done my acting. I
just felt really comfortable. Yep. So I didn't feel like, oh,
I've got to get this. I just like had fun
and got the job.

Speaker 2 (04:19):
So you were yourself.

Speaker 1 (04:21):
I loved watching you you always. Now that I know you,
I love that what I thought you would be you
really are. You're such a warm, down to earth natural person.
But you're also very I think why you were an
idol to me is because I could see a strong
woman on the screen and you're saying that you wouldn't
sort of fit into that cookie cutter role of perhaps

(04:44):
maybe I'm wrong, correct me being kind of the ditzy blonde.
I love that about you, and I think you were
such a role model to girls in their late teens
that I was. One other time that I really admired
you is when you were pregnant and I'm not sure
if it it was with your first son, and you
copped a lot of crap about what was it just.

Speaker 2 (05:07):
Wearing a maternity dress on the show.

Speaker 3 (05:10):
So I was, yeah, that was on Sale of the Sentry,
and that that is like twenty seven years ago. Now,
this is how old Cooper is, So that's just so bizarre.
But at the time of doing Sale, it was a
glamorous role, and you know, I was happy with that.
I was a model and I enjoyed getting dressed up
and you know, made up and all of that kind
of thing. So we used to film five shows in

(05:31):
one day, the week show, and you know, every night
you had a different you know, dress, and it was
a glamorous you know dress. So when I found out
that I was pregnant, it was during our summer break.
I once again, you know, telling my girlfriends, and they
actually said to me, so, what's going to happen with
your job? Will you continue working? I said yeah? And
they said, well, what will they do like build a

(05:52):
podium for you to stand behind or something. My girlfriends
and I said, what do you mean? They said, you know,
seeing you're not showing your tummy.

Speaker 1 (05:57):
I said, oh no, and this is the late nineties,
we might point now, yeah, like not nineteen twenty.

Speaker 3 (06:02):
So he's you know, ninety seven, he was, you know worn.
So anyway, I just said, no, I'll just keep working.
And so what happened was there was no nice evening
where it was caftan neck. To me, that was what
was yeas, no choices. What's like a sheet and no choices.
So we just kind of went, oh, well, we'll just

(06:23):
keep getting a bigger size in a stretchy, nice evening dress.

Speaker 1 (06:26):
So that's what I and that's the point. No one
wore type fitting Matt clothing.

Speaker 3 (06:30):
You know.

Speaker 1 (06:30):
It was all sailor collars and stupid ties and big,
billowy dresses like you'd take off in a gust of wind.

Speaker 3 (06:37):
And so Lisa Baron, who you know lovely. She is
an Australian you know, iconic designer and I always she
always dressed me. She dressed me on on blind dates,
dressed me on sale and I used to be her
you know, she calls it, you know, her muse for
her fashion brades. And they used to have the Austraiane
Designer Collection parades once a year and each designer would
have you know, a celebrity or someone walk for them,

(06:59):
and they bring out international models from overseas. And this
particular year, Lisa and I had done the last couple
and Lisa said, I'd love you to walk for me again.
I said, oh, Lisa, I can't. I'm five months pregnant.
And she goes, yeah, I know. And I said, well,
you know, I won't be offended because you know, I
can't really do it. She goes, why not, and I said, oh, well,
you know. She goes, no, I've got this idea. I've
got this idea. And she created this dress which was

(07:19):
a black I remember it very well, sleeve hug the
figure hugging with a heart cut out over the belly,
and she goes, I want to celebrate your you know,
your pregnancy and womanhood, and I'm like, okay, cool, And
so I wore that down the catwalk.

Speaker 2 (07:36):
It was groundbreaking. Yeah, it was ground and I remember
it made the news.

Speaker 3 (07:40):
It was on the nightly news. It was it was.
It became very controversial. It like we were trying to
make some kind of stance, which we I guess in
a way we were just kind of going, why can't
I still embracing it? But it curused a massive stir where,
you know, a current affair round a story on it.
All the radio stations and stories on magazines ran stories.

(08:02):
The newspaper had polls should I be allowed to you know,
be seen showing the belly, you know, and everything that
grew with it, you know, the bust and everything. And
I continue to work right up until a week before
and I look back at some of the footage now
of me jumping around that you know turntable, wobbling, wobbling around, waddling,

(08:25):
and just like I look and go, oh my god,
I was huge.

Speaker 1 (08:29):
No, what a beautiful memory to capture. You've got that now,
and your son's got that and then future grandchildren. I
think it was amazing and I think, well, Lisa's a
trailblazer as well.

Speaker 2 (08:41):
You know, I think I think it was great.

Speaker 1 (08:43):
That brings to the point of here we are, all
these years, since the late nineties talking menopause.

Speaker 2 (08:48):
Yes, you're a trailblazer.

Speaker 3 (08:50):
That happened.

Speaker 2 (08:50):
I know when did that happen?

Speaker 1 (08:53):
And I, you know, as someone in the limelight, as
you are talking about minopause, I want to play you
some audio Sophie Duchess of Wessex.

Speaker 2 (09:02):
She is also really vocal in this space. I love this.

Speaker 4 (09:05):
We all talk about having babies, but nobody talks about
the parents.

Speaker 3 (09:09):
Nobody talks about the menopause. Why not.

Speaker 4 (09:12):
It's something that happens to us twelve times, certainly pairs
twelve times a year. It's something that's incredibly normal, but
it's something that is very hidden, and I think it's
time to say enough.

Speaker 2 (09:23):
Isn't that great? What is the shame? Why haven't we
spoken menopause?

Speaker 3 (09:28):
Well? I think that it is coming out from under
the covers at the moment, which is great. But yeah,
I don't know. I guess you know from our mums
and I lost my mum twenty years ago, so I
can never talk to her about it. But I just
know that, you know, people were seen to be a
bit crazy and a bit nutty, and you know, perhaps
worried about judgment.

Speaker 2 (09:48):
Like with the pregnant dress.

Speaker 3 (09:50):
Yeah, like hide it. Yeah, And it is interesting, you know,
way past periods and things like that. But growing up
as yeah, girl, you know, it was like never kind
of spoken about, I guess and it is a bit
more now, which is kind of nice. But it's yeah,
like having myself now, I would say, I'd say, I'm
five years into menopause, So.

Speaker 2 (10:13):
Are you post metopausal?

Speaker 3 (10:15):
Well? No, I still well, you know, we can discuss
in a sect just you know, having had my recent operation,
but like, how do you know exactly where you are?

Speaker 2 (10:22):
I know, I'm still the frustrating thing.

Speaker 3 (10:23):
Yes, still still a little bit in it because I
still get a little bit of the you know, the
hot flushes right nowhere near what I.

Speaker 1 (10:33):
Endured, right, I shall see five five years down the train,
five years down the safe to say, how how was
your experience?

Speaker 2 (10:40):
Was it harrowing?

Speaker 3 (10:40):
Yeah? It was, really it was. And I'm the kind
of person that doesn't you know, wallow in that or
you know, I put the best face forward so when
I knew I was coming on to discuss this with you,
I wanted to kind of have a bit of a
think back, because you forget it's like childbirth. You forget
how and painful that is, and you do, but I

(11:02):
do know it, you know, it was kind of five
years of I guess the worst of it for me
was part of it was the lack of sleep. And
I recall a time where I was trying to work
out exactly what was happening to me during the night
so I could tell my doctor, and so I was had.

(11:23):
I was documenting it quite an organized first year I
had it. I had a book next to my bed,
and every time I woke up in a dripping, wet,
you know, mess, but also that horrific panic attack and
anxiety that comes with it, or came with it for me,
I wrote down the time and it was like every
hour or hour and a half. So once that happens,

(11:46):
it takes you quite a while to get back to succeed,
and then then I'd go, seriously, has it really been
an hour? And so yeah, So the lack of sleep
from that was horrific, Like you wake up the next
morning and you feel nauseous and you feel.

Speaker 2 (11:58):
Sick and like you've slept at all.

Speaker 3 (12:01):
No, you know you haven't kind of no, So yeah,
that part of it, I guess I remember. And then
just having to get through your day feeling like that
is hard.

Speaker 1 (12:15):
Did you still have kids at school at that stage,
so you still had that.

Speaker 2 (12:19):
Routine of other people relying on you heavily.

Speaker 3 (12:22):
Not too bad in that too, I'd say the middle
of it for me was during COVID. But the blessing
of that was that I could go so in the
morning up, you know, and I could go you know what,
I can't cope till I've gone back and had a
couple of hours sleep, So I could go back and
sleep till eleven o'clock. I could and get those few

(12:42):
hours that then made you feel normal. And my husband
was very supportive with that, and he just knew, like,
I'm just better and we're all better off being a
bit quiet and letting mum get a couple of extra
hours sleep and she'll be happy. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (12:55):
But I mean, you've got one of those beautiful, beautiful
marriages where you've been together how long have you been together?

Speaker 2 (13:00):
Now?

Speaker 3 (13:01):
It's quite scary. Yeah, So it's like we met when
I was sixteen.

Speaker 1 (13:05):
And I was fifty eight, So it's amazing a long
time so ying and Yang, so he could read the room.
How important was he in supporting you through that period?

Speaker 3 (13:14):
So I said to him last night when I was
coming in here, like, what's your memory of it? Just
you know what from your point of view, as you know,
being a husband kind of thing. And he said, he
said that you kind of put it back in a
nice one and me he said that I was amazing
at how I dealt with it. And so we talked
all the way through it because I was jealous of

(13:36):
my girlfriends doing HRT, and I guess if we move
on to that kind of part of it. Whereas I
having having had lost my mother to avarian cancer, I
was under what I now call the false belief that
if you took HRT you would increase your chances of
cancer avarian or breast. That was the information that we were.

(14:00):
So I was anti anti anti So all my girlfriends
were going on hit and getting through everything fine, and
so I was jealous. And I used to say to Murray,
you know, I just I wish I could, but I
know I can't. I just you know felt ripped off.
I just yeah, and he said yeah. But and I
remember him saying to me, because the difference is, Nick,
you can compartmentalize it, so you know you're not going crazy.

(14:21):
You know that what is happening to you is you
know the symptoms of menopause, So you know the anxiety
that you feel, the panic attacks you feel, you know
you're not going nuts. It's menopause. And you can compartmentalize
it and go, this is shit, but I know what
it is, so I can put it in that box
and move on and you know, wait for the glory

(14:41):
days when it's all what a great husband.

Speaker 1 (14:45):
So the panic attacks for you were really like had
you had a history of panic attacks?

Speaker 2 (14:49):
No?

Speaker 3 (14:49):
No, And it wasn't like some people say, like I
had a panic attack and I was in the supermarket
and I just had to get out to me, It
was it was the feeling that came with the hot
flush or you know, the lashes that some people call them.
So it was like, I liken it too. If you're
you know, if you're ever in a car and you
have to slam on the brakes because you're just going
to an avoid an accident, and that that a dream

(15:12):
adrenaline comes through that feels like it hurts kind of,
it's like you feel that. So you know, you would
often at night and I would have that panic panic, panic,
panic feeling, and I'd have to say to my head,
it's okay, it's all right, like you're just having just
before the flush comes, and what.

Speaker 2 (15:27):
Can I hear?

Speaker 1 (15:27):
What can I smell? And ground yourself a bit like
your poor thing? That's awful, it is, it was, but yeah,
all good?

Speaker 3 (15:35):
Now?

Speaker 2 (15:37):
So what did help you?

Speaker 3 (15:39):
So? I tried everything, you know, I googled everything, tried
everything organic natural that I could. I remember going to
I had a wonderful and have a wonderful doctor who
is a GP and also a natural path and and
I was thinking about it, like I think that a
lot of doctors that you spoke to once you just
straight away said no, I'm not going down HRT. They

(15:59):
didn't necessarily say to me why because do you realize
that there's you know, positive things frozen cons They just
took me as going not going there, And so I
would try and work with that. So I had all
kinds of organic motion potions and things you know, concocted
that I tried, you know, and I would try it
for months and foul tasting years, and I'd go, Okay,

(16:20):
got to have this, and then three hours out of later,
you know, would do it all Nothing worked, And so
the only way I got through it in the end
was to have some sleeping pills that you know, steadfastly
would not take every night, but if I knew I
had a big day the next day, if I had
because I was working, if I had a job the

(16:40):
next day, then I would take a sleeping pill and
even though you might wake up with the flush, you
could kind of you doped a bit, just you know,
to go get back to. That's was how I could
get through it kind of thing. And you know, allow
myself maybe one or two nights a week to have that,
and that's what helped for.

Speaker 2 (16:59):
Me, you know what you mean when you were talking
about potions.

Speaker 1 (17:02):
When we were trying to get pregnant, we went down
Chinese medicine because we tried five years to get Audrey,
multiple miscarriages and within do on polycystic and I went
to see this guy and he would boil up each
individual woman's brew and mine, and I'm not kidding you.

Speaker 2 (17:19):
It actually had chook pooh in it.

Speaker 1 (17:22):
But he would obviously either way that he cultivated or
boiled it or whatever.

Speaker 2 (17:27):
The heck he did with it. It worked.

Speaker 1 (17:29):
In the end, I still believe it was him, that
godess to the point of a live birth. But you'd
stand on your head for a month if it meant
relief for anything. And I think that's the point is,
you know, HRT has had a bad rap, but it's
something that you have to determine yourself, with all your
team of specialists to see what's best for you, and

(17:50):
what's right for you may not be right for someone else.

Speaker 3 (17:54):
Yeah, when you said that about the Chinese medicine, that's
another thing that I tried as well. So I had
I had Chinese medicine and I had you know, the
dry needling.

Speaker 2 (18:03):
Yes, and can uncher and stuff.

Speaker 3 (18:05):
Yeah, yeah, i'd give that a go for a few
months ago. And I hated that. I hated, Oh did
you You didn't like the no and it didn't you know.
In the end, I kind of thought, yeah, maybe it's working.
Maybe it's working, and they're like, oh no, it's not.
So there was another thing. But yeah, look that I
mean the HRT, Like I said, I had been of
the belief. Everything I read, everything I was told, was

(18:26):
that if you took HRT, if you had an occurrence
of you know, breast cancer or of bearing cancer in
your family, then it would increase your chances of getting that.
So that that was what rang true in my e bit.

Speaker 1 (18:40):
Traump tis from losing your mum to that trauma disease,
that of course you would naturally.

Speaker 3 (18:44):
And I knew that from my memory. Mum was on
HRT as well. So I'm like, Okay, well that happened
for her, so that will happen.

Speaker 2 (18:51):
It's not going to happen for me.

Speaker 1 (18:52):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (18:52):
Yes, And so that's why I steered clear of it.
And because we are having discussions, we are talking with
our friends, and that now obviously, one of my girlfriends said,
flicked me a podcast which I flicked to you, which
was an incredible insight for me into the fact that
that whole period of hearing that HRT increases your chances

(19:16):
of cancer was a misrepresentation of a study that was done.
And the study was done in two thousand and two
by the Women's Health Initiative in the USA, and they
did this massive billion dollar study and you know what
they did was you know, they found all these things,
and they instead of releasing that study as you normally

(19:39):
would to the medical fraternity in the medical people, would
you know, dissect it all out what they want and
go you no, that's true. Now I haven't seen that.
They released their study to the media without going through
the proper channel, proper channel. So they had a press
release and put this out and so then as you know,
the press do, they take whatever bits they want. And

(20:00):
the headline in the New York Times was HRT increases
the chance of breast cancer big you know, bold prints.
Same in England on the front cover of the papers.
They're so alarmist, so alarmist because as they dug deeper,
it didn't at all. The case that has stuck. That's
two thousand and two, and you know, the FDA put

(20:21):
a black box on it, you know, stating that in
anything that's got you know, estrogen in it, can you know,
lead to an increase in cancer. So and then they
you know, once they've gone back and checked it all,
it was all a misrepresentation. They misquoted themselves, and it's
the opposite, you know. So yeah, you know it's important

(20:43):
for me having learned that to just get I guess
that message out to just just check everything out and see,
you know, because you know, it can be such a horrible,
horrible time. You know, marriages can end over, you know,
how we change and maybe and I just think I
most definitely would have taken hit if I knew that

(21:06):
then to get me what you know now, Yeah, yeah,
I would have been a much happier person to be around.
And I also remember, like you know, I probably didn't
ask Murray this you listen to this and wanted to
not you know, he'll go Yeah. I kind of thought
at the time, I was we're having problems as well,
like everyone does in that time. But I used to think, no,

(21:26):
I'm not crabby with my husband. No I'm not crappy
with my menopause, No, not at all. I'm just having
the hot flushes. And yeah, but it hasn't made me
a snooty, you know, bitchy, snappy person at all.

Speaker 2 (21:38):
Zero two, one hundred and ten point three of a second.

Speaker 1 (21:40):
But in fact, it probably it's horrible and I'm setting
other episodes.

Speaker 2 (21:45):
You know, there'll be.

Speaker 1 (21:45):
Days where the rage and it's usually for me when
the hot flush is a bad it's sort of like
hand in hand with the rage, and I'll just fly
off the handle over something ridiculous and then then you
get that guilt and you think, oh, that was really
out of portion, Like even the volume of my voice
was out of proportion. So my poor husband will say,
you know what, I'm going to go for a coffee

(22:08):
or I'm going to go and have a walk and
just give.

Speaker 2 (22:10):
You some time. All off. But it's horrible because you
can't control.

Speaker 1 (22:14):
It's a bit like PMT in that way, and that
you just it's kind of like a it's a real
out of body experience.

Speaker 3 (22:20):
And to me it would be an effect of that
the night before where yes, you hadn't slept, had not slept,
you know, and you've got to function through the day,
so you're just on edge and running on adrenaline most
of the time on adrenaline. Yeah, and you can't you
just can't deal with anything.

Speaker 1 (22:41):
Did you find being in the spotlight Was that harder
for you? Did that put more pressure on you?

Speaker 2 (22:45):
Do you think?

Speaker 3 (22:46):
Or No? I don't think so. I it was obviously
at a time when you know, we're talking the last
five years, so not the busiest time of my life.
But I still was working, and I do recall and
I was always open with you know, mars, my boys.
You know, I've just got sons, so I want them
to kind of understand things. They haven't got sisters to
see things. And I remember, you know, a couple of

(23:08):
times at work where I was filming, like presenting roles
and being being filmed interviewing someone and saying, oh, sorry, sorry, sorry,
we're going to stop, you know, and I go, I'm sorry,
I'm just having a hot flush. I've got to step outside.
And I remember the cameraman saying, oh, yeah, my wife's

(23:29):
you know, and just so it was just like I
can't do anything. I'm actually interviewing someone and I'm overwhelmed,
overwhelmed and dripping the back of my neck is you know,
dripping wet, and I could try and fluff through it.
Can we just stop, because I'm going to gout and
found myself and get a bit of you know, fresh
air and talk about it.

Speaker 1 (23:48):
Yeah that's great, and it was fine. And it's great
too that the Cabraman could support you. Yeah, that's the thing. Yeah,
I had image and crump on in a previous episode.
I'm not sure if you saw her piece on the APS.
She's an editor at the University of Melbourne and she
was doing an economics report on the ABC and just
totally lost her place, as we all do at times,

(24:11):
and said, I'm sorry, but I'm having a really bad
hot flush and this is on National Breakfast TV. And
I thought, you know what it's really I think it's
given me permission to be more open. I know it
seems like I'm opening doing a podcast or the topic,
but never thought that I could be that open being

(24:32):
in the media, and because I think there is a
thing about you don't want to be seen as weak
and incompetent in the workplace by being honest, but you
do need to lean into all the negatives and the
positives like not you know, I just think it's part
of being human percent and it helps other people know
that they're not yeah nuts, and it helps the other

(24:55):
people in the workplace realize that, you know, fifty percent
of the population are going through this, so it's normal.
You know, it's not something to be shamed into. And
how normal to.

Speaker 3 (25:05):
Go sorry of Don'm just having a hot flush, or
you know, you get fol brain fog, you go blank
on things, and hence you know, I you know, like
to take notes on things because you can be foggy.

Speaker 2 (25:18):
Yeah all the time.

Speaker 1 (25:19):
Can we talk about your recent procedure there you had
what led to that?

Speaker 3 (25:24):
So the recent procedure was a hysterectomy, a full hysterectomy,
which means removal you know, of the ovaries, you know,
the uterex, uterfus and the cervix. So when mum, it'll
be twenty years ago this year when Mum passed away
from a varian cancer. So I have been an ambassador
for avarian cancer for all this time, and my main

(25:49):
reason for being ambassador is to present the signs and
symptoms of a varian cancer because it's still the silent killer.
There is no willing detection test, you know, like you
can have a mammogram and see a lump so ringing
in my ears always as my mum at one of
my boys christenings and just kind of standing you know,

(26:12):
around next to me going, oh my god, look at me.
I look like I'm five months pregnant. Look at me.
And I remember thinking, because you know, I probably realistically
a healthier person than mum. Mum, you know, smoked a
lot and drank a lot and would love just a
pie or a cheese toasting. You know. I was way
more organic than that, and so he and never exercised.
And I was so hearing her say that. I remember

(26:33):
in my head just thinking, Mommy, he's just not looking
after yourself, you know, because she's, yeah, look at me,
I look like I'm and I'm thinking, yeah, that's because
you don't need to many calubs, too many cars, you know. Anyway,
it turned out that it was, you know, o Verian cancer.
So I just remember back then, for whatever reason, feeling
for quite a while that mum mum had it. And
it was so far out of the blue, you know,

(26:55):
just all of a sudden. I had never lost anyone
like that, so was Ni. So you was only like
sixty five, sixty six, not that old, no, And so
I just thought, well, yeah, I can get it too,
because you know, so I remember way back then going
and seeing a guy in ecologist about having it or
you know, let's just take it all out because then
I can't get it. And she's like, well, let's just

(27:17):
wait awhile, like it's very early, you know, I went obviously,
when after I decided I wasn't having any more children.
But you know, I can throw you into early menopause
and that can be quite horrific and everything. So I
just did you know, played the waiting game of twenty
years of having you know, my ultra sounds and blood
tests done every year to hopefully detect anything.

Speaker 2 (27:35):
So do you carry a gene? Is there a gene that?

Speaker 3 (27:37):
Well? I never see. I was always told test for
the Bracker gene. Yeah, but I was also told that
which stuck in my head and maybe it might have changed.
But you needed some of your mum's DNA to tests,
so like when you had hear Homer brush all this,
which I didn't. So I never never went down that way.
And so for the for the some I'm getting a

(27:59):
little bit of a flush now strip off. I forgot
to bring my fan no, so I so now I've
lost my.

Speaker 1 (28:07):
You was testing with the genes, so you were testing
regularly genes, but.

Speaker 3 (28:12):
Testing with it a larger sound and blood tests and
never tested whether I had the gene or not. And
was kind of happy enough going along there. And then
last December, just before December, I remember all of a sudden,
I went to my doctor said, oh, I've got because
I knew the signs and symptoms, you know, and I'm
having like you know, I've got lower abdomen pains kind

(28:37):
of like period pains, you know, but you know, way
past having a period, and so I just it's alum
bell to me. And also, you know, feeling a bit bloated.
So she said, okay, well, let's us go and do
some tests other than you normal tests that you have.
And then that came back with some polyps on the
ovaries and a thickening of the uterus and fibroids. So

(29:00):
to me, that's like, whoa, all that stuff's happened since
my last test.

Speaker 2 (29:04):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (29:04):
Right, So I went and had them tested. That all
came back fine. But I said to my gynecologist, Okay,
that's it for me. That's my warning sign. So having
having what I doing what I did was not because
I had cancer or you know, everything came back clear.
It was purely my choice for prevention, yep. And yeah,

(29:28):
I feel good about that.

Speaker 1 (29:29):
Yeah, well that's good, and I'm glad that you had
a specialist that supported what you wanted to do as well.
It's good to have a good relationship with your doctor
to touch in and not be scared to go, because God,
prevention is so much better than cure.

Speaker 3 (29:42):
Yeah. Yeah, And I remember saying to her once we
did the test and it came back that everything was fine,
you know, like the thickening of the uterus can happen.
It was getting you know, fibroads are fine, and the
polyps were benign or whatever. I said, so what do
you think, like, what are your thoughts? And she said, well,
if you you know, I didn't have any history or reason,

(30:07):
I would say, look, if you know, it's up to
you if you want to. But she said, having your
history and having your reasons, I think you are fully
going down the right position, you know, which is all
I needed to hear for her.

Speaker 2 (30:20):
Yep, you know.

Speaker 3 (30:21):
And then I kind of went I didn't look into
it too much, you know, I just kind of went, Okay,
I made up my mind. I made up my mind
that's what I'm doing. And if there had been a
few problems, I would have gone to do it straight away.
There wasn't, so I went, okay, I'll do it in
winter because that's probably, you know, a better time. And
I just didn't investigate too much more than that. It
wasn't until I've had it done, and I started googling
everything going all right, okay, so that's all gone, and

(30:42):
that's all what is left. What happened in there? You
know with it too, Like everyone said to me, oh
my god, it's a it's a really long recovery. Yes
weeks and I was kind of like, after you know,
a few days, I'm thinking I'll get through this, okay.
You know, I didn't quite understand how the severity, yeah,
and how you have to really just take the time

(31:05):
and not do much at all, which is rather hard
for me.

Speaker 2 (31:07):
Yeah, I'm the same.

Speaker 1 (31:09):
I had a cesarean section when I had Audrey and
I was home and I'm not proud to say, but
vacuuming like a couple of weeks later and hanging washing
out when I shouldn't, yes, I should, like you know, yeah,
but this is what we do. We like we're our
own worst had.

Speaker 3 (31:25):
I started baking bread and I posted something and my
girlfriend who's had also had a his direct and we
just I hope Murray lifted that pot into out of
the oven, because you know, you're not allowed to lift anything.

Speaker 1 (31:37):
We touched on golf before. I know, you're an avid
golf What is your handicap?

Speaker 3 (31:42):
I haven't played for six weeks, but I'm from memory
it was twenty five.

Speaker 2 (31:46):
And do you play down the surf coast?

Speaker 3 (31:47):
Yeah? Yeah, yeah. So one of my girlfriends that I
play with message me is that when a you're coming back. Yeah,
it's really I got back into it during COVID. My
husband's a great golfer, so he really enjoys it. So
it's a great thing that you can do, you know,
together and do it with your girlfriends, or you can
do it with mixed couples. And it's yeah, great exercise obviously,

(32:09):
And I am a competitive person, so I like, you know,
whether you're competitive with yourself or competitive with other people.
You know, it's got that bit to it too.

Speaker 1 (32:18):
Did that help your mindset going through menopause doing all
those things that brought you joy?

Speaker 3 (32:23):
Look for me, actually it's a good good point. So
dealing with the menopause symptoms, which were horrific, knowing that
I wasn't doing HRT, I did everything else that I
could to keep myself fit and well and healthy. So
you know, I'm not an angel, and you know, I
like a pig out. I love chocolate, I, you know,

(32:44):
like to have a drink. But I also, you know,
I struggled the same with people with weight gain. And
I recall I recall before I ever was in that stage,
a bit like my mum saying look at me, I
look like I'm six months pregnant, and me just dissing
it and going, oh, you know, you're just not fit.
I would hear maybe when I was in my forties,

(33:04):
you know, women going oh my god, I put all
this weight in menopause, and I used to just think, rubbish,
It's all about input output, you just you know, And
then all of a sudden, I was in menopause and plungedentizing,
and I'm like, how is this weight coming on? Like
how can I not control it? So I thought, okay,
that is obviously part of it in my tabolism slows

(33:25):
down or whatever. So I can either accept it or
I can try and just push that a little bit harder,
you know. So I yeah, I just kind of kept
exercising and trying to you know, eat well. And that's
kind of helped me deal with it, because I knew
I was doing the best that I could. Or you
can wallow the other way and just so I feel
like shit. So I'm going to eat sheep. I'm going

(33:45):
to drink to kind of come comfort myself, which we
all did a lot of in COVID banana bread. Who
cooked banana bread? Everyone cooked banana bread.

Speaker 1 (33:56):
With your diet, what do you do specifically with your diet?
Do you like mostly organic or what are you feeling?

Speaker 3 (34:02):
I like healthy food, I don't go organic. I like
fresh juices. I love fruit bowls and things like that.
But with you know, muz and still having a son
at home, we still cook pretty much. You kind of
your meat and three veggies, but we've both you know,
I've gotten back into enjoying a bit more cooking and
sharing it. So Murray will do it. The thing that
helped me manage the wait a little bit better, which

(34:25):
I only kind of got onto. I don't know, maybe
in the last twelve months is the intermittent in fasting.
Do you say that word?

Speaker 2 (34:33):
Intermittent fasting?

Speaker 3 (34:35):
And that is quite incredible in that, you know, people
talk about that and I just go, oh my god,
you're starving yourself and how ridiculous. You know the way
that it really can give you mental clarity, and they're
giving yourself that break from food and yeah, so that
has helped me. That has helped me.

Speaker 2 (34:52):
Tell me about the drums. You've taken up drums this.

Speaker 3 (34:55):
I have, Oh, thanks for asking. So during COVID, where
my middle son was also living at home and he's
a musician. I'm not musical at all, and he is
in a couple of bands, plays guitar, teaches guitar and
had the drums there and so he played that. He
taught himself that and so there are a few times
during COVID where you know, he go because you had

(35:17):
nothing to do in the time, Like the boys taught
me how to escape on COVID as well. But if
I come down, mum and I'll teach a couple of
things and I'll play some chords on the guitar, and
you know, so we started doing that and I enjoyed it,
and so then I thought, oh, I'm going to teach
myself dreams by Fleetwood Mac Like.

Speaker 2 (35:33):
Of course I wouldn't.

Speaker 3 (35:34):
So I found an online teacher who was teaching that
and yeah, so you know, I would do a little
bit of that, and so I really enjoyed it. But
then you know, got past COVID, stopped doing that lately
never went back to it. The end of last year,
I was up in Melbourne. I was driving home you
have you know, it's an hour and a half time
with my own thoughts, and I was thinking, I need

(35:55):
a hobby, I need to do something. What can I do?
I think maybe Fleetwood Mack came on the radio. I thought,
I can do. I can go back and do the drum.
And then my negative ego just when are you kidding?
You're way too old to do that. No, on my
positive side, when Nikki, you could be ninety and do
it if you want.

Speaker 2 (36:09):
Absolutely.

Speaker 3 (36:10):
My son had a friend who's an awesome drummer and
he gave me a few lessons, but then it was
hard to lock in. I needed it to be all
once a week or so. I have a reason, you
have a lesson, committed to it. Yeah, And so he
put me onto this other guy who is teaching me
now and I love the way he teaches and it's
really really fun and I'm enjoying it. And it's hard,

(36:30):
you know.

Speaker 1 (36:31):
Yeah, I bet you know you're right hand the coordination
all of that and your stuff, and it's a workout,
I suspect.

Speaker 3 (36:39):
Yeah, it can be. Yeah, so yeah, so I've just
got all these things I'm learning. At one point, I
want to get a couple of, you know, good songs
and just be able to rock out to it.

Speaker 1 (36:48):
Well, you're certainly a woman who goes by the beat
of your own drum, so you say that.

Speaker 2 (36:53):
Thank you, Nikki, It's been a delight.

Speaker 3 (36:54):
Thanks for having me on.

Speaker 1 (36:59):
How awesome is Key Buckley? Down to earth warm and
refreshingly natural. So honored to have had her in the
iHeart Studio. I hope you enjoyed it as much as
I did. As I round out the first series of
Rage Against the Menopause, my next guest describes herself as
an ossie author, travel writer, TV presenter, deranged mum of two,

(37:19):
and frazzled feminist. Don't miss the effervescent Kathy Lett, who
talks about her latest novel, husband replacement Therapy, among other things.

Speaker 2 (37:29):
I'm Petrina Jones.
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