May 16, 2024 • 11 mins
It's Robin & Kip on demand!
In this episode of Confessions For Cash, Robin & Kip received a heartwrenching call from a Brisbane mum who had something she needed to get off her chest.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
These are my confessions.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
Confession.
Speaker 3 (00:07):
It's Robin Kip on demand. This is our Confessions for
Cash special where we get to unpack things a little
bit further. And we've got a pretty hectic confession this week.
Speaker 4 (00:17):
Rob Yeah, we did so much so that we had
to change the name and the voice because Kara is
a mum and she's admitted to something that most people never.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
Say out loud.
Speaker 4 (00:28):
This is her story, Kara of inter Pelly, good morning,
good morning. Oh you sound nervous. Okay, yeah, okay, good well,
it's Confessions for Cash.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
We have cash to pay. What's your confession?
Speaker 2 (00:45):
I seriously regret having my daughter. Well, okay, I know
a lot of parents say that, but it's just tongue
in cheek. But if we do.
Speaker 1 (01:01):
Let's unpack that.
Speaker 4 (01:02):
Let's find out what happened in terms of you having
your daughter.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
Were you in a relationship.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
No, I had just gotten out of a relationship and
I went and had some fun with some people. So
I don't actually know who her father is, and so
I've been a single parent further past eight years.
Speaker 4 (01:25):
When you feel pregnant, you decided to keep the baby.
Speaker 1 (01:30):
Was that a very straightforward decision for you?
Speaker 2 (01:33):
After being told that I would never have children and
then magically falling pregnant. It was a thing of I'm.
Speaker 1 (01:40):
Keeping How were your family around that?
Speaker 2 (01:45):
They were excited it's the first grandchild. How old were
you twenty eight?
Speaker 1 (01:50):
Okay?
Speaker 3 (01:51):
Have you always regretted at Cara, like, is it possible
this is just a stage you're going through where it's
gotten hard or have you always regretted.
Speaker 2 (01:58):
It a bit? There's been times in the past where
I've really thought about I shouldn't have had her, But
in the past year it's been a really big thing
of I really really shouldn't have had her. I regret
having her. I'm screwing up her life, and in turn,
(02:19):
it's not making my life any better at the moment.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
So what are you doing that you think you're screwing
up your daughter? How old is she now?
Speaker 2 (02:28):
She's eight?
Speaker 1 (02:29):
Okay?
Speaker 4 (02:29):
So what has happened in the last twelve months that's
made you think that?
Speaker 2 (02:33):
We have both got some mental health problems? So she's
inherited my mental health problems. So we're both under care
of psychologists and psychiatrists and all that sort of stuff,
and it's just really tough, and I just want to see,
I'm done because I love her no end, There is
(02:54):
no doubt that I love her. I just wish you.
Speaker 1 (02:57):
Wasn't here because you feel else well.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
Listening to the confession about not knowing the father and
stuff like that, that made me feel even guiltier because
I don't know who her father is, so then I
don't know what her health problem is going to be
like or anything like that, and I just feel guilty
that I can't give her what she needs.
Speaker 3 (03:21):
What does she know now about her dad?
Speaker 1 (03:23):
She would obviously ask about him.
Speaker 2 (03:25):
Well, I told her she doesn't have a dad, right,
and now she says I don't have a dad. She
doesn't ask about him or anything like that, but she
keeps saying that she wants me to marry her best
friend's dad because then she'll have a dad. Yeah, I
feel guilt on that as well.
Speaker 1 (03:40):
So what's your relationship like with your daughter?
Speaker 2 (03:43):
It's mostly good. All she wants is me, like I
go out or something like that. She cries and all
that sort of stuff because she wants me to stay
home and be with her, and she won't sleep in
her own bed because she just wants to be with me.
So I feel like she thinks I'm going to abandon her,
(04:04):
which is what I feel like doing sometimes, which I
really shouldn't feel like.
Speaker 4 (04:08):
What would your life be like if you had made
those choices and didn't have your daughter.
Speaker 2 (04:13):
I could be actually having a full time job. I
could possibly not be living with my parents. I could
possibly be in a relationship.
Speaker 3 (04:19):
And do you think she stops you from having a relationship?
Speaker 2 (04:23):
Yes? Why?
Speaker 3 (04:24):
Why?
Speaker 2 (04:25):
Because I don't go out, I don't do anything. It's
all about her. Everything I do is for her.
Speaker 1 (04:32):
Does it have to be like that? Though?
Speaker 4 (04:34):
If you've got support from your family, is this about
you being able to restart your life in a different way?
Speaker 2 (04:42):
Even though I have the support of my family, I
feel so much guilt getting them to do things for
me or my daughter, because they're old and they're retired
and they should be living their life. They've already raised kids.
They don't need to do it anymore.
Speaker 3 (04:58):
It's obviously hard to do because there's a massive taboo
in what You've just confessed that you sometimes wish you
didn't have your child. But have you spoken to your
parents about it? Have you told them that you're having
these feelings? Because I would imagine that if they knew
that they were able to help you start enjoying your life.
In turning that around, it'd be worth that discussion.
Speaker 2 (05:18):
They know little bit well. My dad does, especially because
I'm a daddy girl, but he doesn't know the full
extent of it. I don't want to put that on
him because he's got all these health problems as well,
So why should he have to deal with mine?
Speaker 1 (05:32):
Because he's your dad and he loves you.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
Yeah, I know that's not.
Speaker 3 (05:36):
Strange at all, Gara, Like my little boy, I love
him so much, but I also love two hours when
he's not around, you know what I mean, Like I
could not love him more. And I also sometimes I
cannot stand being around him. Sometimes you just need a minute,
Like you can't have them be your world and you
be their world because it's just not healthy for anyone.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
Yeah. Yeah, that's all it is at the moment.
Speaker 3 (05:59):
Yeah, I mean, you know, confessions for cash. This is
confessions for cash, and we do reward everyone for their confession.
I'll tell you what, five hundred bucks buys you a
lot of babysitting. So can we start off with that
as five hundred dollars cash is yours and that's going
to give you some nights out to get away. There's
no burden on your parents, no burden on anyone else,
and you can actually go out and find yourself again.
Speaker 1 (06:21):
Thank you and Callista of spring Wood. What would you
like to say?
Speaker 2 (06:26):
Hi?
Speaker 5 (06:27):
I just wanted to say that you know you're doing
such a good job. I know all of those hard
feelings are going through you right now, but I can
tell you now that there are there are people who
are out there with you. I had my first boy
after being told I'll never have kids after five miscarriages,
and I had my I was pregnant with my first boy.
(06:49):
I went for the ultra sound and I kept him.
I heard his heartbeat, I saw a little baby, and
I kept him. But even now I sit here sometimes
a lot. Actually I'm like, why did I do this?
I was nineteen, My life was just beginning, and it
was it was why did I do this to myself?
Like I have no life to live now, I have
(07:10):
to look after this kid. And then I had another
one because I'm still under the belief that I struggle
to have kids. I wanted to let her know that
she is beautiful, she is strong, and yes, all she
needs is some time to herself and don't feel scared
to ask for help.
Speaker 1 (07:29):
So so callister, is the dad around for you?
Speaker 5 (07:31):
No? No?
Speaker 1 (07:33):
And are you You've got support and people are helping you.
Speaker 5 (07:36):
I do? I do? I have? Well, I have one
best friend and I have my mum and my stepdad.
That's all I have.
Speaker 1 (07:43):
And you've got two beautiful little boys or a boy.
Speaker 5 (07:46):
I do, indeed.
Speaker 4 (07:47):
Yeah, but some days they're tough, man, They're just in
the trenches and they suck.
Speaker 5 (07:52):
Oh yeah, and like the chain reaction, the chain reaction
between two different kids.
Speaker 1 (07:58):
Oh but what with them and each other?
Speaker 5 (08:00):
That yeah, like one craze and the other craze.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
And what happened to.
Speaker 5 (08:10):
I was able to play Fortnite?
Speaker 2 (08:14):
I was playing Fortnite.
Speaker 4 (08:16):
That Google is a deab of Tambourine Mountain with her
indicator on.
Speaker 6 (08:26):
You know, listen to this. This is threefold to me.
I'm the child who didn't know who her father was.
I'm a mom who had a child later on in
life and wondered if I should do that and worked
out that yes I should, because she's the best thing
that ever happened. But the reason I rang was this
(08:46):
lady can go and see her guidance counselor at her school,
at her child's school, and they can help her get
some help to get her through.
Speaker 3 (08:59):
This, because I guess the mentality is that the guidance
counselor is for the kids, but you're saying like that
it's available to a parent of a child at the
skill at the school.
Speaker 6 (09:09):
Yes, and sometimes the skills have social workers attach them
as well. Social workers can help people navigate their way
through how to get like you can get mental health
help from your doctor and you just apply and you
get six free consultations and things like that that people
(09:29):
don't know, and then if you need more after that,
you go the medical practitioner is in contact with your
guidance officer and they will renew that availability to have
more consultations. But if you've got to, if you've got
a guidance officer who attached the school, which everyone does,
or if they'll lead you to someone who will help
(09:51):
you get ndies help and all those sorts of things,
and they will help you get your life back, and
they'll also introduce programs into the school that will help
child are just and not have separation and anxiety and
all those things.
Speaker 4 (10:06):
It sounds like such a great idea. I guess the
problem is that you then are no longer anonymous.
Speaker 6 (10:10):
Right, yeah, yeah, But all of those things have to
be kept anomenous within the school.
Speaker 2 (10:17):
Right.
Speaker 6 (10:18):
So where I work, I've got trauma children in my class,
and yes they're identified as trauma, but I have no
idea what that trauma is because I don't need to know.
Speaker 1 (10:29):
Oh okay, so that is kept with them, okay, yeah.
Speaker 6 (10:32):
Yeah, and so we and we do all of these
things for these children. It's just unless you work in
a school like I do, you don't understand what comes
with it. But there are so many systems and processes
in place. But if the school doesn't know, they can't
help you.
Speaker 1 (10:50):
Okay, that is great advice, thank you, Dade.
Speaker 6 (10:53):
Yeah, she just needs to ask that one question, and
everything allows the lab and on its.
Speaker 3 (10:58):
Own use confessions for cash, and we do reward everyone
for their confession. Of course, if you do want to
do it anonymously though, and you don't want people in
your community finding out Lifeline as a resource, they're always
ready to take your call. On thirteen eleven fourteen.
Speaker 4 (11:11):
But next time, oh my goodness, we have got the
most unbelievable, unfolding story about finding your father's
Speaker 3 (11:22):
Confession, Robin and Kipps confessions,
These are my confessions.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
Confession.
Speaker 3 (00:07):
It's Robin Kip on demand. This is our Confessions for
Cash special where we get to unpack things a little
bit further. And we've got a pretty hectic confession this week.
Speaker 4 (00:17):
Rob Yeah, we did so much so that we had
to change the name and the voice because Kara is
a mum and she's admitted to something that most people never.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
Say out loud.
Speaker 4 (00:28):
This is her story, Kara of inter Pelly, good morning,
good morning. Oh you sound nervous. Okay, yeah, okay, good well,
it's Confessions for Cash.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
We have cash to pay. What's your confession?
Speaker 2 (00:45):
I seriously regret having my daughter. Well, okay, I know
a lot of parents say that, but it's just tongue
in cheek. But if we do.
Speaker 1 (01:01):
Let's unpack that.
Speaker 4 (01:02):
Let's find out what happened in terms of you having
your daughter.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
Were you in a relationship.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
No, I had just gotten out of a relationship and
I went and had some fun with some people. So
I don't actually know who her father is, and so
I've been a single parent further past eight years.
Speaker 4 (01:25):
When you feel pregnant, you decided to keep the baby.
Speaker 1 (01:30):
Was that a very straightforward decision for you?
Speaker 2 (01:33):
After being told that I would never have children and
then magically falling pregnant. It was a thing of I'm.
Speaker 1 (01:40):
Keeping How were your family around that?
Speaker 2 (01:45):
They were excited it's the first grandchild. How old were
you twenty eight?
Speaker 1 (01:50):
Okay?
Speaker 3 (01:51):
Have you always regretted at Cara, like, is it possible
this is just a stage you're going through where it's
gotten hard or have you always regretted.
Speaker 2 (01:58):
It a bit? There's been times in the past where
I've really thought about I shouldn't have had her, But
in the past year it's been a really big thing
of I really really shouldn't have had her. I regret
having her. I'm screwing up her life, and in turn,
(02:19):
it's not making my life any better at the moment.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
So what are you doing that you think you're screwing
up your daughter? How old is she now?
Speaker 2 (02:28):
She's eight?
Speaker 1 (02:29):
Okay?
Speaker 4 (02:29):
So what has happened in the last twelve months that's
made you think that?
Speaker 2 (02:33):
We have both got some mental health problems? So she's
inherited my mental health problems. So we're both under care
of psychologists and psychiatrists and all that sort of stuff,
and it's just really tough, and I just want to see,
I'm done because I love her no end, There is
(02:54):
no doubt that I love her. I just wish you.
Speaker 1 (02:57):
Wasn't here because you feel else well.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
Listening to the confession about not knowing the father and
stuff like that, that made me feel even guiltier because
I don't know who her father is, so then I
don't know what her health problem is going to be
like or anything like that, and I just feel guilty
that I can't give her what she needs.
Speaker 3 (03:21):
What does she know now about her dad?
Speaker 1 (03:23):
She would obviously ask about him.
Speaker 2 (03:25):
Well, I told her she doesn't have a dad, right,
and now she says I don't have a dad. She
doesn't ask about him or anything like that, but she
keeps saying that she wants me to marry her best
friend's dad because then she'll have a dad. Yeah, I
feel guilt on that as well.
Speaker 1 (03:40):
So what's your relationship like with your daughter?
Speaker 2 (03:43):
It's mostly good. All she wants is me, like I
go out or something like that. She cries and all
that sort of stuff because she wants me to stay
home and be with her, and she won't sleep in
her own bed because she just wants to be with me.
So I feel like she thinks I'm going to abandon her,
(04:04):
which is what I feel like doing sometimes, which I
really shouldn't feel like.
Speaker 4 (04:08):
What would your life be like if you had made
those choices and didn't have your daughter.
Speaker 2 (04:13):
I could be actually having a full time job. I
could possibly not be living with my parents. I could
possibly be in a relationship.
Speaker 3 (04:19):
And do you think she stops you from having a relationship?
Speaker 2 (04:23):
Yes? Why?
Speaker 3 (04:24):
Why?
Speaker 2 (04:25):
Because I don't go out, I don't do anything. It's
all about her. Everything I do is for her.
Speaker 1 (04:32):
Does it have to be like that? Though?
Speaker 4 (04:34):
If you've got support from your family, is this about
you being able to restart your life in a different way?
Speaker 2 (04:42):
Even though I have the support of my family, I
feel so much guilt getting them to do things for
me or my daughter, because they're old and they're retired
and they should be living their life. They've already raised kids.
They don't need to do it anymore.
Speaker 3 (04:58):
It's obviously hard to do because there's a massive taboo
in what You've just confessed that you sometimes wish you
didn't have your child. But have you spoken to your
parents about it? Have you told them that you're having
these feelings? Because I would imagine that if they knew
that they were able to help you start enjoying your life.
In turning that around, it'd be worth that discussion.
Speaker 2 (05:18):
They know little bit well. My dad does, especially because
I'm a daddy girl, but he doesn't know the full
extent of it. I don't want to put that on
him because he's got all these health problems as well,
So why should he have to deal with mine?
Speaker 1 (05:32):
Because he's your dad and he loves you.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
Yeah, I know that's not.
Speaker 3 (05:36):
Strange at all, Gara, Like my little boy, I love
him so much, but I also love two hours when
he's not around, you know what I mean, Like I
could not love him more. And I also sometimes I
cannot stand being around him. Sometimes you just need a minute,
Like you can't have them be your world and you
be their world because it's just not healthy for anyone.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
Yeah. Yeah, that's all it is at the moment.
Speaker 3 (05:59):
Yeah, I mean, you know, confessions for cash. This is
confessions for cash, and we do reward everyone for their confession.
I'll tell you what, five hundred bucks buys you a
lot of babysitting. So can we start off with that
as five hundred dollars cash is yours and that's going
to give you some nights out to get away. There's
no burden on your parents, no burden on anyone else,
and you can actually go out and find yourself again.
Speaker 1 (06:21):
Thank you and Callista of spring Wood. What would you
like to say?
Speaker 2 (06:26):
Hi?
Speaker 5 (06:27):
I just wanted to say that you know you're doing
such a good job. I know all of those hard
feelings are going through you right now, but I can
tell you now that there are there are people who
are out there with you. I had my first boy
after being told I'll never have kids after five miscarriages,
and I had my I was pregnant with my first boy.
(06:49):
I went for the ultra sound and I kept him.
I heard his heartbeat, I saw a little baby, and
I kept him. But even now I sit here sometimes
a lot. Actually I'm like, why did I do this?
I was nineteen, My life was just beginning, and it
was it was why did I do this to myself?
Like I have no life to live now, I have
(07:10):
to look after this kid. And then I had another
one because I'm still under the belief that I struggle
to have kids. I wanted to let her know that
she is beautiful, she is strong, and yes, all she
needs is some time to herself and don't feel scared
to ask for help.
Speaker 1 (07:29):
So so callister, is the dad around for you?
Speaker 5 (07:31):
No? No?
Speaker 1 (07:33):
And are you You've got support and people are helping you.
Speaker 5 (07:36):
I do? I do? I have? Well, I have one
best friend and I have my mum and my stepdad.
That's all I have.
Speaker 1 (07:43):
And you've got two beautiful little boys or a boy.
Speaker 5 (07:46):
I do, indeed.
Speaker 4 (07:47):
Yeah, but some days they're tough, man, They're just in
the trenches and they suck.
Speaker 5 (07:52):
Oh yeah, and like the chain reaction, the chain reaction
between two different kids.
Speaker 1 (07:58):
Oh but what with them and each other?
Speaker 5 (08:00):
That yeah, like one craze and the other craze.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
And what happened to.
Speaker 5 (08:10):
I was able to play Fortnite?
Speaker 2 (08:14):
I was playing Fortnite.
Speaker 4 (08:16):
That Google is a deab of Tambourine Mountain with her
indicator on.
Speaker 6 (08:26):
You know, listen to this. This is threefold to me.
I'm the child who didn't know who her father was.
I'm a mom who had a child later on in
life and wondered if I should do that and worked
out that yes I should, because she's the best thing
that ever happened. But the reason I rang was this
(08:46):
lady can go and see her guidance counselor at her school,
at her child's school, and they can help her get
some help to get her through.
Speaker 3 (08:59):
This, because I guess the mentality is that the guidance
counselor is for the kids, but you're saying like that
it's available to a parent of a child at the
skill at the school.
Speaker 6 (09:09):
Yes, and sometimes the skills have social workers attach them
as well. Social workers can help people navigate their way
through how to get like you can get mental health
help from your doctor and you just apply and you
get six free consultations and things like that that people
(09:29):
don't know, and then if you need more after that,
you go the medical practitioner is in contact with your
guidance officer and they will renew that availability to have
more consultations. But if you've got to, if you've got
a guidance officer who attached the school, which everyone does,
or if they'll lead you to someone who will help
(09:51):
you get ndies help and all those sorts of things,
and they will help you get your life back, and
they'll also introduce programs into the school that will help
child are just and not have separation and anxiety and
all those things.
Speaker 4 (10:06):
It sounds like such a great idea. I guess the
problem is that you then are no longer anonymous.
Speaker 6 (10:10):
Right, yeah, yeah, But all of those things have to
be kept anomenous within the school.
Speaker 2 (10:17):
Right.
Speaker 6 (10:18):
So where I work, I've got trauma children in my class,
and yes they're identified as trauma, but I have no
idea what that trauma is because I don't need to know.
Speaker 1 (10:29):
Oh okay, so that is kept with them, okay, yeah.
Speaker 6 (10:32):
Yeah, and so we and we do all of these
things for these children. It's just unless you work in
a school like I do, you don't understand what comes
with it. But there are so many systems and processes
in place. But if the school doesn't know, they can't
help you.
Speaker 1 (10:50):
Okay, that is great advice, thank you, Dade.
Speaker 6 (10:53):
Yeah, she just needs to ask that one question, and
everything allows the lab and on its.
Speaker 3 (10:58):
Own use confessions for cash, and we do reward everyone
for their confession. Of course, if you do want to
do it anonymously though, and you don't want people in
your community finding out Lifeline as a resource, they're always
ready to take your call. On thirteen eleven fourteen.
Speaker 4 (11:11):
But next time, oh my goodness, we have got the
most unbelievable, unfolding story about finding your father's
Speaker 3 (11:22):
Confession, Robin and Kipps confessions,
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