October 22, 2024 • 9 mins
Dee called the KIIS 97.3 Lawyer to ask how she could change her son's last name to her own as she no longer is in contact with his father.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
You're listening to the Robin and Kid podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
It's all right The Kiss Ny seventy three h Hilia.
Speaker 3 (00:12):
Shallow d of Matt Cravat.
Speaker 4 (00:15):
Hello, how are you now?
Speaker 3 (00:17):
What is your issue? You'd like to ask a lawyer?
Speaker 4 (00:19):
Okay, Well, sixteen years ago I felt pregnant, had the baby.
We were together for about six months. It happened pretty quickly.
Then we moved in together. Everything was fine, and then
about a year into the relationship I found out he
was cheating, so we split. So we were never married
or anything like that, and he had got married to
somebody else and had a baby with that lady. Then
(00:41):
they ended up breaking up and that's when he stopped
turning up. Couldn't find him, didn't know where he was,
what was going on. And then his mother ended up
calling and saying, look, I want to have a relationship
with Tom. Can I see him once a month. So
that was happening for about six months. Then my ex
was going to pick him up. One day he just
turned up out of the blue and said I'm going
to come and pick him up. He'd ended up turning up,
(01:03):
so then the mother rang and said I'll come and
get him and That's when I said, look, you can't
be in and out of my son's life. When you
are going to be a constant in his life, that's
when I'll talk to you. Until then, I don't want
anything to do.
Speaker 3 (01:16):
With any of you.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
So even the mom was not a regular visitor, even
though she said okay yetna.
Speaker 4 (01:21):
So I haven't heard from them for ten years. We've
heard absolutely nothing. We don't get any support. He owes
over fifty thousand dollars in child support. So my problem
is that I gave my son his last name, and
I didn't realize how much it affected my son until recently.
He started saying things like, I wish I had a
(01:41):
loving father. I don't know why my dad doesn't want me,
things like that. So the thing is he's surrounded by
my last name. He doesn't have any contact with that family,
so he really wants to have our last name. But
I have to have commission off his father to change
his last name. But I have no contact with his father.
(02:04):
So how can I? Right?
Speaker 3 (02:05):
Yeah, okay, so can I ask you how old is Tom?
Speaker 4 (02:09):
Sixteen?
Speaker 3 (02:10):
Okay? So legally by the time he's eighteen, he can
change it for himself. But obviously you're concerned with his
mental health and ability to hope that you want to
do that.
Speaker 4 (02:20):
Now, Yes, because obviously he's been holding all this year
and I didn't realize it was affecting him so much
till recently. And I can't even say his last name doing,
I can't even mention his father doing. He just shut down.
He doesn't want to know about. One of the things
that irks me is trivial. But it's not actually not
my ex's last name either. He took his stepfather's name
(02:42):
when he was twelve, right, so it's not even a
blood name, you know what I mean. So that's what
irks me.
Speaker 3 (02:49):
Wow, So it's on the birth certificate, this is the issue. Yeah,
I guess you could also just change his name, like
just tell everyone at school and whatever, and then when
he's eighteen you can just legally.
Speaker 4 (03:00):
Yeah. The reason I don't want to do that is
because my mother had a problem she had She did that,
and then when she went to get her thought sport
for instance, she of course she had on her birth
she think at one name and then everything else had
a different name, and then she had her married name.
She had a lot of problems trying just to get things.
Speaker 3 (03:19):
It does.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
It gets difficult, even me having Kipp as my first
name and Christopher at the bank. You know, people write
your checks or whatever else. There's not so much checks anymore.
But yeah, you do get things, and it's hard to
deal with it. You know, it's a pain. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (03:30):
And also, mate, I will say this from my perspective,
my three sons do not have my last name, and
it irks me no end because I feel like I've
done all the hard work.
Speaker 4 (03:41):
Yeah, but and they get me wrong. I'm proud of myself.
I don't need help from him, if you know what
I mean. But I it's just how it's affecting my son.
That's the main thing. It's all about my son.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
So so obviously you don't get child support or anything
like that.
Speaker 4 (03:54):
Nothing.
Speaker 3 (03:56):
So what is your question? What is it that you
actually want to know?
Speaker 4 (04:00):
Well, I want to know if there's a loophole of
some sort where I can get his name changed, before
I say, because that's all my son wants for his
eighteenth birthday is to get his name change.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
There must be a way we can do it.
Speaker 3 (04:10):
Yeah, Okay, Brett is awesome when it comes to all
things family.
Speaker 4 (04:14):
Law.
Speaker 3 (04:15):
He's our lawyer, so let's get him in. You can
summarize again exactly what's going on and see what he
has to say.
Speaker 2 (04:22):
Okay, okay, do we have Brett Trafford from RMO Law
in the studio with us? Now, if you could just
re ask Brett your question.
Speaker 4 (04:31):
I was just wondering I had a baby sixteen years
ago and I have had no contact with the father
for at least ten years now, absolutely no contact, no
child support, absolutely nothing. I was just wondering if I
can change my son's name because he has my ex's
last name and he wants to change it to my name.
Speaker 1 (04:49):
The short answer is yes, oh really really? So the
only issue was, well, how would you go about that? Yeah,
there's a couple of ways your son can hold himself
out of. But he can give him of any name.
It could be a single name, anything he likes, really,
and go around telling people that from now you ought
to refer to me as Winston Churchill.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
Winston church He can do that if he wants.
Speaker 1 (05:11):
Yeah, and he can walk around and he can sign
forms and tell everyone I'm Winston Churchill. Now that's how
you are to address me as. However, there's nothing legally
wrong with that. However, you will have problems dealing with
selling the Transport Department of planks schools and so there
will be issues with that, and a lot of these
institutions will say we need to see something like a
(05:33):
depot or a court order or something formal, and sometimes
you have to sign statutory declarations to say that I
Winston Churchill am the person previously known as So. I
know you've told me you've had no contact with your
son's father, but if you would send him a letter
or an email, anything in writing, send him all the
(05:54):
relevant forms that you would need for him to sign
and say yes, I confirm, I agree, I can sent
to our son changing his.
Speaker 4 (06:02):
Name, and I don't know where he is. I know
where to start.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
What I'm leading up to is you bringing an application
to the court and saying, look, I'd like to bring
it ask the court to make orders that my son's
name is legally changed. And the court will say, okay,
have you at least tried to get your son's father's
consent to this? So you will need letters and emails
and evidence of the fact that you've tried to get
(06:27):
his consent, and he either couldn't or wardened, or didn't
respond or it wasn't cooperative, and then you can tick
that box and then then explain to the court why
it's in your son's best interest for his name to
be changed, on the basis that what you want is
in the child's best interests.
Speaker 3 (06:46):
How does deprove this if they don't have anything electronic?
Speaker 1 (06:49):
The short answer is by afa David. Now, an affaid
David is a sworn statement of relevant material facts, So
you would bear and affidavit, which is basically a description
of short story if you like, saying that I am
the mother of my child, this is my child, and
setting out all the circumstances saying that, look, you know,
(07:14):
my child's sixteen. His father's had nothing to do with
us for many, many years. My son's told he's really
upset about having the name of his dad when his
dad doesn't want to know him. And because it's upsetting him,
I've written a letter. Here's a copy of the letter
that I wrote to his dad his last known address.
Here is a copy of an email I sent to
(07:35):
his dad's last known email address. Here's an email I
sent to my son's father's mother, who might know where
he is. In other words, So the question how do
I prove that I've done these things? Is you put
it in a sworn statement saying, Look, here's all the
things I've done, Here's a copy of the emails, here's
the letters. I've done everything I can think of.
Speaker 3 (07:57):
See what do you reckon?
Speaker 4 (07:59):
I just think it's a lot to do, Like you know,
I think I should just be able to do it,
but I understand it's the law. But you know, that's
a lot just to yeah, change your name.
Speaker 1 (08:12):
There's a lot of paperwork in Yeah, but look, if
you go to a women's legal service or a community
legal center, they will be able to give you a
lot of assistance and you may find somebody there who
could do it for you, fill in the forms for It's.
Speaker 2 (08:29):
A lot of work there, but you have to think
it'd be a pretty cool seventeenth birthday. Thank you, Tom
if you could do that, and a lot cheaper than
a Toyota garis, which is probably what you worry.
Speaker 3 (08:40):
Yes, helped you.
Speaker 4 (08:43):
Yeah, it has actually, Yes, a lot. Thank you.
Speaker 3 (08:45):
Okay, Well, good day.
Speaker 4 (08:47):
Thanks see your time, guys. I really appreciate it, and
I love you too. I listen to you have your morning,
okay say this.
Speaker 2 (08:58):
Advice is not the substitute for people see making independent
legal advice for their own circumstances. They should consider seeking
their own legal advice.
Speaker 4 (09:06):
It's Robin and On Brisbane's Kiss ninety seven three
You're listening to the Robin and Kid podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
It's all right The Kiss Ny seventy three h Hilia.
Speaker 3 (00:12):
Shallow d of Matt Cravat.
Speaker 4 (00:15):
Hello, how are you now?
Speaker 3 (00:17):
What is your issue? You'd like to ask a lawyer?
Speaker 4 (00:19):
Okay, Well, sixteen years ago I felt pregnant, had the baby.
We were together for about six months. It happened pretty quickly.
Then we moved in together. Everything was fine, and then
about a year into the relationship I found out he
was cheating, so we split. So we were never married
or anything like that, and he had got married to
somebody else and had a baby with that lady. Then
(00:41):
they ended up breaking up and that's when he stopped
turning up. Couldn't find him, didn't know where he was,
what was going on. And then his mother ended up
calling and saying, look, I want to have a relationship
with Tom. Can I see him once a month. So
that was happening for about six months. Then my ex
was going to pick him up. One day he just
turned up out of the blue and said I'm going
to come and pick him up. He'd ended up turning up,
(01:03):
so then the mother rang and said I'll come and
get him and That's when I said, look, you can't
be in and out of my son's life. When you
are going to be a constant in his life, that's
when I'll talk to you. Until then, I don't want
anything to do.
Speaker 3 (01:16):
With any of you.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
So even the mom was not a regular visitor, even
though she said okay yetna.
Speaker 4 (01:21):
So I haven't heard from them for ten years. We've
heard absolutely nothing. We don't get any support. He owes
over fifty thousand dollars in child support. So my problem
is that I gave my son his last name, and
I didn't realize how much it affected my son until recently.
He started saying things like, I wish I had a
(01:41):
loving father. I don't know why my dad doesn't want me,
things like that. So the thing is he's surrounded by
my last name. He doesn't have any contact with that family,
so he really wants to have our last name. But
I have to have commission off his father to change
his last name. But I have no contact with his father.
(02:04):
So how can I? Right?
Speaker 3 (02:05):
Yeah, okay, so can I ask you how old is Tom?
Speaker 4 (02:09):
Sixteen?
Speaker 3 (02:10):
Okay? So legally by the time he's eighteen, he can
change it for himself. But obviously you're concerned with his
mental health and ability to hope that you want to
do that.
Speaker 4 (02:20):
Now, Yes, because obviously he's been holding all this year
and I didn't realize it was affecting him so much
till recently. And I can't even say his last name doing,
I can't even mention his father doing. He just shut down.
He doesn't want to know about. One of the things
that irks me is trivial. But it's not actually not
my ex's last name either. He took his stepfather's name
(02:42):
when he was twelve, right, so it's not even a
blood name, you know what I mean. So that's what
irks me.
Speaker 3 (02:49):
Wow, So it's on the birth certificate, this is the issue. Yeah,
I guess you could also just change his name, like
just tell everyone at school and whatever, and then when
he's eighteen you can just legally.
Speaker 4 (03:00):
Yeah. The reason I don't want to do that is
because my mother had a problem she had She did that,
and then when she went to get her thought sport
for instance, she of course she had on her birth
she think at one name and then everything else had
a different name, and then she had her married name.
She had a lot of problems trying just to get things.
Speaker 3 (03:19):
It does.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
It gets difficult, even me having Kipp as my first
name and Christopher at the bank. You know, people write
your checks or whatever else. There's not so much checks anymore.
But yeah, you do get things, and it's hard to
deal with it. You know, it's a pain. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (03:30):
And also, mate, I will say this from my perspective,
my three sons do not have my last name, and
it irks me no end because I feel like I've
done all the hard work.
Speaker 4 (03:41):
Yeah, but and they get me wrong. I'm proud of myself.
I don't need help from him, if you know what
I mean. But I it's just how it's affecting my son.
That's the main thing. It's all about my son.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
So so obviously you don't get child support or anything
like that.
Speaker 4 (03:54):
Nothing.
Speaker 3 (03:56):
So what is your question? What is it that you
actually want to know?
Speaker 4 (04:00):
Well, I want to know if there's a loophole of
some sort where I can get his name changed, before
I say, because that's all my son wants for his
eighteenth birthday is to get his name change.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
There must be a way we can do it.
Speaker 3 (04:10):
Yeah, Okay, Brett is awesome when it comes to all
things family.
Speaker 4 (04:14):
Law.
Speaker 3 (04:15):
He's our lawyer, so let's get him in. You can
summarize again exactly what's going on and see what he
has to say.
Speaker 2 (04:22):
Okay, okay, do we have Brett Trafford from RMO Law
in the studio with us? Now, if you could just
re ask Brett your question.
Speaker 4 (04:31):
I was just wondering I had a baby sixteen years
ago and I have had no contact with the father
for at least ten years now, absolutely no contact, no
child support, absolutely nothing. I was just wondering if I
can change my son's name because he has my ex's
last name and he wants to change it to my name.
Speaker 1 (04:49):
The short answer is yes, oh really really? So the
only issue was, well, how would you go about that? Yeah,
there's a couple of ways your son can hold himself
out of. But he can give him of any name.
It could be a single name, anything he likes, really,
and go around telling people that from now you ought
to refer to me as Winston Churchill.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
Winston church He can do that if he wants.
Speaker 1 (05:11):
Yeah, and he can walk around and he can sign
forms and tell everyone I'm Winston Churchill. Now that's how
you are to address me as. However, there's nothing legally
wrong with that. However, you will have problems dealing with
selling the Transport Department of planks schools and so there
will be issues with that, and a lot of these
institutions will say we need to see something like a
(05:33):
depot or a court order or something formal, and sometimes
you have to sign statutory declarations to say that I
Winston Churchill am the person previously known as So. I
know you've told me you've had no contact with your
son's father, but if you would send him a letter
or an email, anything in writing, send him all the
(05:54):
relevant forms that you would need for him to sign
and say yes, I confirm, I agree, I can sent
to our son changing his.
Speaker 4 (06:02):
Name, and I don't know where he is. I know
where to start.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
What I'm leading up to is you bringing an application
to the court and saying, look, I'd like to bring
it ask the court to make orders that my son's
name is legally changed. And the court will say, okay,
have you at least tried to get your son's father's
consent to this? So you will need letters and emails
and evidence of the fact that you've tried to get
(06:27):
his consent, and he either couldn't or wardened, or didn't
respond or it wasn't cooperative, and then you can tick
that box and then then explain to the court why
it's in your son's best interest for his name to
be changed, on the basis that what you want is
in the child's best interests.
Speaker 3 (06:46):
How does deprove this if they don't have anything electronic?
Speaker 1 (06:49):
The short answer is by afa David. Now, an affaid
David is a sworn statement of relevant material facts, So
you would bear and affidavit, which is basically a description
of short story if you like, saying that I am
the mother of my child, this is my child, and
setting out all the circumstances saying that, look, you know,
(07:14):
my child's sixteen. His father's had nothing to do with
us for many, many years. My son's told he's really
upset about having the name of his dad when his
dad doesn't want to know him. And because it's upsetting him,
I've written a letter. Here's a copy of the letter
that I wrote to his dad his last known address.
Here is a copy of an email I sent to
(07:35):
his dad's last known email address. Here's an email I
sent to my son's father's mother, who might know where
he is. In other words, So the question how do
I prove that I've done these things? Is you put
it in a sworn statement saying, Look, here's all the
things I've done, Here's a copy of the emails, here's
the letters. I've done everything I can think of.
Speaker 3 (07:57):
See what do you reckon?
Speaker 4 (07:59):
I just think it's a lot to do, Like you know,
I think I should just be able to do it,
but I understand it's the law. But you know, that's
a lot just to yeah, change your name.
Speaker 1 (08:12):
There's a lot of paperwork in Yeah, but look, if
you go to a women's legal service or a community
legal center, they will be able to give you a
lot of assistance and you may find somebody there who
could do it for you, fill in the forms for It's.
Speaker 2 (08:29):
A lot of work there, but you have to think
it'd be a pretty cool seventeenth birthday. Thank you, Tom
if you could do that, and a lot cheaper than
a Toyota garis, which is probably what you worry.
Speaker 3 (08:40):
Yes, helped you.
Speaker 4 (08:43):
Yeah, it has actually, Yes, a lot. Thank you.
Speaker 3 (08:45):
Okay, Well, good day.
Speaker 4 (08:47):
Thanks see your time, guys. I really appreciate it, and
I love you too. I listen to you have your morning,
okay say this.
Speaker 2 (08:58):
Advice is not the substitute for people see making independent
legal advice for their own circumstances. They should consider seeking
their own legal advice.
Speaker 4 (09:06):
It's Robin and On Brisbane's Kiss ninety seven three
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