October 24, 2023 • 10 mins
Co-Sleeping With Your Children
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
You're listening to the Robin Terrian Kid podcast, So we're
talking about co sleeping and a from the newsrooms in
with us as well, because you've got a two year
old an.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
Yeah, she'll be three in March, so she's getting older
do Yeah.
Speaker 1 (00:16):
So when you say co sleeping, we're talking about every night.
Speaker 3 (00:19):
Every single night, that hasn't been a night that she's
been born that she hasn't been in our bedroom. Like
when she was a little baby, she'd be in the
basinette next to us.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (00:28):
Then when she started to outgrow that at about six months,
we tried to put her in a cot but it
lasted like an hour and I wasn't the type of
mom that could.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
Deal with the crying, the control crime. It broke my head.
Speaker 1 (00:40):
Okay, so you had all the crying and then you'd
take her out and bring her in bed and then
she'd settle.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
She'd settle straight away.
Speaker 4 (00:46):
So what's the configuration is that? Is she on the outside?
Speaker 2 (00:48):
Is she between you? She's in the middle, Me and
my husband Josh right in the middle.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
And what about your German shepherd, AlOH?
Speaker 2 (00:54):
Is he?
Speaker 3 (00:58):
So we want a king bed before before she was born,
yeacause a dog, a big forty kilo boy would jump
into bed. But then when she was born, he kind
of decided that he didn't want to be in the
bedroom anymore.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
So that was his decision. He didn't kick him out.
Speaker 3 (01:11):
He couldn't put up with her farting.
Speaker 4 (01:18):
So how do you feel about it now? Because she's three?
I mean, you've still got a couple of years before school.
Is that something that you want to continue on.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
I just kind of.
Speaker 3 (01:26):
Always just intuitively parent, So whatever feels right at the
time in the moment, we're just do But there's.
Speaker 2 (01:32):
A lot of judgment around it. A lot of people
talk to me and.
Speaker 3 (01:35):
They're like, really like, how do you how do you
guys connect? Like me and my husband, how do you connects?
Speaker 4 (01:42):
Asked that question?
Speaker 1 (01:43):
I mean, what about what happens for special cuddles? Do
you does she will she ever go into the cot
for a little bit, give you half an hour.
Speaker 3 (01:50):
She's got her own bedroom, but she decides not to
go in there. Well, there's the couch and there's a
spare bed.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
That's where you do it.
Speaker 5 (01:58):
You have to do it on the land.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
The kids they go into her room.
Speaker 1 (02:02):
Yes, what wow, Okay.
Speaker 4 (02:06):
It makes spontaneity, just a little bit more creative.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
Yeah it does. Yeah, okay, well, I mean you raise
three boys robs, so what did you have them in
at any stage?
Speaker 4 (02:19):
And it was more tony their dads were all than mine.
But also like, but I can't say this in front
of you ends because you do the same ale as
of me. But sleep was just such a priority and
the boys were so active. Oh my god, I get
kicks to the head, they do wheelies in this sleep.
I mean, when they're distressed, it's different. You bring them
in to settle them. But I do understand. It's funny.
(02:41):
I'm looking and listening to you and I'm remembering like
driving for hours just to get to them to sleep,
Like when you're so sleep deprived and your world feels
like it's crashing in, putting a kid in bed with
you is like the best thing ever. Yes, because they
got to sleep, and so to you, it's just that
then that becomes the choice, and I'm yeah, I'm not
judgmental of it. I guess I just if it works for.
Speaker 1 (03:02):
You, who cares?
Speaker 3 (03:03):
YEA. And the way I see it is I traveled
a lot through Asia in my twenties and I used
to see parents sleeping with their kids everywhere in the
Philippines and Yeasia, like it's just their norm because they
don't have lots of space.
Speaker 4 (03:14):
Yes, so what's your thing against it?
Speaker 2 (03:16):
Kim?
Speaker 4 (03:17):
Why don't you.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
Like I'm no kids, no dogs. Yeah, there's no extra
people in the bed. That Yeah, I like to like
having our space and like and Rafi's sometimes like on
a morning at five o'clock will come in and you'll
try to get him to sleep in with you, just
so that he'll let you sleep, but he doesn't. He
doesn't sleep in the bed. He kicks around, he talks
to you, like get out, just get out. Yeah, you
(03:41):
can't have him in there. I think maybe that's his personality,
or maybe it's because he's four now and he's never
been allowed. He's not really interested in coming in, so
he had.
Speaker 4 (03:50):
His mum's Because that's the other thing what happens with
split parents, where one parent they let you and the
other parent they don't.
Speaker 3 (03:55):
Should I just say, the best thing now that she's
older is she started to be the big spoon, So
roll over and hug me and it's just the best.
Speaker 1 (04:02):
Oh that would be sweet. Yeah, Okay.
Speaker 4 (04:04):
Meanwhile, Josh, he's going, Hello.
Speaker 1 (04:09):
Guys. Yes, Actually, Kayla's got some experience with with split parents.
I think, hey, Kayla, Hi, how are you going.
Speaker 2 (04:16):
Do you co sleep?
Speaker 5 (04:18):
Yes?
Speaker 6 (04:19):
So I do, but his dad doesn't.
Speaker 1 (04:21):
Okay, So what does it so when he when he
stays at his dad's house yep, in his own.
Speaker 6 (04:26):
Bed, Yeah, because his dad has a partner, okay, and
I don't, so he's I don't know. I just find
it comfy and I like it.
Speaker 4 (04:36):
See it's interesting you say that, Kaylor, because I really understand.
I'm a very physical touch person and not having a
partner I find very very difficult because I miss that
physical touch. And is that I mean it sounds like
this is partly for you.
Speaker 6 (04:50):
Yeah, I think it's mainly for me, but also as well.
I think it gives me, like having him there give
me the strength to wait for what I deserve. So
I'm not making stupid decisions based on being lonely.
Speaker 1 (05:04):
For your next partner.
Speaker 6 (05:07):
Yeah exactly. So there's no like, I don't know, I
don't need that, but yeah, it's good. Like it works
for us because even when Jackson goes to my friends
for a night, he sleeps in his own bed.
Speaker 1 (05:18):
So he can me, Hey, Kayla, and not to be negative,
but what happens when you do bring a new man
home and then Jackson all of a sudden gets kicked out,
And isn't he going to have negative connotations towards the
new man?
Speaker 6 (05:32):
I'm not really, I don't know. There's nothing in the pipeline.
Speaker 7 (05:36):
So well, I think I'm.
Speaker 6 (05:41):
Actually he starts school this coming years, so I think
I'm going to bribe him with putting the sausage dog
in his bed to get him out.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
Okay, so you.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
Can go and you're going to be okay with that?
Speaker 6 (05:52):
Well, yes, look it'll take I'll just build like a
pillow forward or something.
Speaker 4 (05:59):
There's nothing I'm with there on those every night.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
It fix everything. Thirty one, six fives and number ifever
you want to get involved with the show, Joey, I've
been doing.
Speaker 4 (06:08):
Okay, you're an educator, so I'm guessing a childhood educator
over fifteen years. What do you think about this?
Speaker 8 (06:14):
Yeah, I mean I've been an educator for more than
fifteen years now, director and everything else. I do know
quite a bit of background, and I've had to do
all that study and everything I currently coasly with my
one year old.
Speaker 4 (06:31):
Yeah, so you went into the with all the theory
saying this is bad, I'm.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
Not going to do it.
Speaker 8 (06:38):
Yep.
Speaker 1 (06:38):
Was it just exhaustion? What got you there?
Speaker 8 (06:42):
Exhaustion? You do what you have to do as a parent.
I mean, you know, it's like you said, it's the
same as breastfeeding. You do all the research and you
look into everything, but at the end of the day,
it's what works with you, for you and your family.
And if this is what works, then do it. Don't
borrow about the judgment and everything else.
Speaker 4 (07:02):
And you I think ultimately everyone's going you do you boo.
I'm just wanting to talk to someone who's really dead
against it to get the other side of this opinion.
Belinda of Strathpaint, I think that's you.
Speaker 8 (07:14):
That is me.
Speaker 5 (07:15):
Hi.
Speaker 7 (07:15):
I'm a nurse and I deal with I've had three children,
and all of my children I got to self settle.
It was really difficult, and they were all close together,
and sleep was just my thing to recover, and I
just felt that it was just not for me whatsoever.
And it's independent for myself, my partner, our relationship, and
(07:39):
also the child. I often see, it's all good and well,
until the mother's tired. Then everything falls to pieces. And
if also they have another baby, or if they're pregnant
again trishevzilmia.
Speaker 4 (07:53):
Co sleeping What do you think?
Speaker 7 (07:55):
I'm not against it at all.
Speaker 9 (07:57):
I have two children and I co let with them both. However,
my firstborn, he's now eleven, and I'm still dealing with
I think because we co slept, I still have to
lie with him each night for about the half hour
(08:19):
to an hour just to get him to sleep.
Speaker 1 (08:22):
Wow.
Speaker 4 (08:22):
Okay, well, so there are implications as the kids get older.
Speaker 9 (08:27):
Yeah, yeah, especially if if you if you know, don't
stick to you know, getting them out of your bed
kind of thing.
Speaker 1 (08:39):
Yeah, so maybe you've got to. Yeah, you got to.
If you do it earlier, you save it. You save
that trouble for later.
Speaker 9 (08:44):
That's right.
Speaker 4 (08:45):
Yeah, what if you didn't, What if you stop tonight?
Speaker 9 (08:50):
Uh, he's got I think he's got like pretty bad anxiety.
He would be up for hours and hours and you
know the screaming and crying and all of that fun stuff.
Speaker 4 (09:03):
Yep, fickle. Yeah, thanks mate, Thanks twenty of Wellington Point
Clinical Nurse.
Speaker 2 (09:10):
Oh what do you have to say?
Speaker 5 (09:12):
Yeah? I raised four boys and the third one was premi,
so the university was coming out to check him all
the time, and we mentioned that the three year old
second one was still coming into our bed, but we
had to be up and down for the Premi baby
all the time. So she said, you can't just carry
(09:32):
them back to their own bed. They'll just come back
to yours. You have to make them decide not to
want to be in your bed, So make it as
uncomfortable as possible. That we would roll into the middle,
squash him. If he was on the outside, we'd roll
the other way and knock him out of bed, pulling
an arm out and wax them heavy legs, duck over
(09:55):
the top of them, whatever you can come up with
to make them decide they don't want to be there.
So eventually, one night he just went and stormed back
to his own room and never once again.
Speaker 4 (10:08):
Advice is genius, Wendy, We love it.
Speaker 3 (10:11):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (10:11):
That's how you got the dog out, baby. Make it
uncomfortable all right? Excellent. You're listening to the Robin Terrrian
Kid Podcast.
You're listening to the Robin Terrian Kid podcast, So we're
talking about co sleeping and a from the newsrooms in
with us as well, because you've got a two year
old an.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
Yeah, she'll be three in March, so she's getting older
do Yeah.
Speaker 1 (00:16):
So when you say co sleeping, we're talking about every night.
Speaker 3 (00:19):
Every single night, that hasn't been a night that she's
been born that she hasn't been in our bedroom. Like
when she was a little baby, she'd be in the
basinette next to us.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (00:28):
Then when she started to outgrow that at about six months,
we tried to put her in a cot but it
lasted like an hour and I wasn't the type of
mom that could.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
Deal with the crying, the control crime. It broke my head.
Speaker 1 (00:40):
Okay, so you had all the crying and then you'd
take her out and bring her in bed and then
she'd settle.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
She'd settle straight away.
Speaker 4 (00:46):
So what's the configuration is that? Is she on the outside?
Speaker 2 (00:48):
Is she between you? She's in the middle, Me and
my husband Josh right in the middle.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
And what about your German shepherd, AlOH?
Speaker 2 (00:54):
Is he?
Speaker 3 (00:58):
So we want a king bed before before she was born,
yeacause a dog, a big forty kilo boy would jump
into bed. But then when she was born, he kind
of decided that he didn't want to be in the
bedroom anymore.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
So that was his decision. He didn't kick him out.
Speaker 3 (01:11):
He couldn't put up with her farting.
Speaker 4 (01:18):
So how do you feel about it now? Because she's three?
I mean, you've still got a couple of years before school.
Is that something that you want to continue on.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
I just kind of.
Speaker 3 (01:26):
Always just intuitively parent, So whatever feels right at the
time in the moment, we're just do But there's.
Speaker 2 (01:32):
A lot of judgment around it. A lot of people
talk to me and.
Speaker 3 (01:35):
They're like, really like, how do you how do you
guys connect? Like me and my husband, how do you connects?
Speaker 4 (01:42):
Asked that question?
Speaker 1 (01:43):
I mean, what about what happens for special cuddles? Do
you does she will she ever go into the cot
for a little bit, give you half an hour.
Speaker 3 (01:50):
She's got her own bedroom, but she decides not to
go in there. Well, there's the couch and there's a
spare bed.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
That's where you do it.
Speaker 5 (01:58):
You have to do it on the land.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
The kids they go into her room.
Speaker 1 (02:02):
Yes, what wow, Okay.
Speaker 4 (02:06):
It makes spontaneity, just a little bit more creative.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
Yeah it does. Yeah, okay, well, I mean you raise
three boys robs, so what did you have them in
at any stage?
Speaker 4 (02:19):
And it was more tony their dads were all than mine.
But also like, but I can't say this in front
of you ends because you do the same ale as
of me. But sleep was just such a priority and
the boys were so active. Oh my god, I get
kicks to the head, they do wheelies in this sleep.
I mean, when they're distressed, it's different. You bring them
in to settle them. But I do understand. It's funny.
(02:41):
I'm looking and listening to you and I'm remembering like
driving for hours just to get to them to sleep,
Like when you're so sleep deprived and your world feels
like it's crashing in, putting a kid in bed with
you is like the best thing ever. Yes, because they
got to sleep, and so to you, it's just that
then that becomes the choice, and I'm yeah, I'm not
judgmental of it. I guess I just if it works for.
Speaker 1 (03:02):
You, who cares?
Speaker 3 (03:03):
YEA. And the way I see it is I traveled
a lot through Asia in my twenties and I used
to see parents sleeping with their kids everywhere in the
Philippines and Yeasia, like it's just their norm because they
don't have lots of space.
Speaker 4 (03:14):
Yes, so what's your thing against it?
Speaker 2 (03:16):
Kim?
Speaker 4 (03:17):
Why don't you.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
Like I'm no kids, no dogs. Yeah, there's no extra
people in the bed. That Yeah, I like to like
having our space and like and Rafi's sometimes like on
a morning at five o'clock will come in and you'll
try to get him to sleep in with you, just
so that he'll let you sleep, but he doesn't. He
doesn't sleep in the bed. He kicks around, he talks
to you, like get out, just get out. Yeah, you
(03:41):
can't have him in there. I think maybe that's his personality,
or maybe it's because he's four now and he's never
been allowed. He's not really interested in coming in, so
he had.
Speaker 4 (03:50):
His mum's Because that's the other thing what happens with
split parents, where one parent they let you and the
other parent they don't.
Speaker 3 (03:55):
Should I just say, the best thing now that she's
older is she started to be the big spoon, So
roll over and hug me and it's just the best.
Speaker 1 (04:02):
Oh that would be sweet. Yeah, Okay.
Speaker 4 (04:04):
Meanwhile, Josh, he's going, Hello.
Speaker 1 (04:09):
Guys. Yes, Actually, Kayla's got some experience with with split parents.
I think, hey, Kayla, Hi, how are you going.
Speaker 2 (04:16):
Do you co sleep?
Speaker 5 (04:18):
Yes?
Speaker 6 (04:19):
So I do, but his dad doesn't.
Speaker 1 (04:21):
Okay, So what does it so when he when he
stays at his dad's house yep, in his own.
Speaker 6 (04:26):
Bed, Yeah, because his dad has a partner, okay, and
I don't, so he's I don't know. I just find
it comfy and I like it.
Speaker 4 (04:36):
See it's interesting you say that, Kaylor, because I really understand.
I'm a very physical touch person and not having a
partner I find very very difficult because I miss that
physical touch. And is that I mean it sounds like
this is partly for you.
Speaker 6 (04:50):
Yeah, I think it's mainly for me, but also as well.
I think it gives me, like having him there give
me the strength to wait for what I deserve. So
I'm not making stupid decisions based on being lonely.
Speaker 1 (05:04):
For your next partner.
Speaker 6 (05:07):
Yeah exactly. So there's no like, I don't know, I
don't need that, but yeah, it's good. Like it works
for us because even when Jackson goes to my friends
for a night, he sleeps in his own bed.
Speaker 1 (05:18):
So he can me, Hey, Kayla, and not to be negative,
but what happens when you do bring a new man
home and then Jackson all of a sudden gets kicked out,
And isn't he going to have negative connotations towards the
new man?
Speaker 6 (05:32):
I'm not really, I don't know. There's nothing in the pipeline.
Speaker 7 (05:36):
So well, I think I'm.
Speaker 6 (05:41):
Actually he starts school this coming years, so I think
I'm going to bribe him with putting the sausage dog
in his bed to get him out.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
Okay, so you.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
Can go and you're going to be okay with that?
Speaker 6 (05:52):
Well, yes, look it'll take I'll just build like a
pillow forward or something.
Speaker 4 (05:59):
There's nothing I'm with there on those every night.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
It fix everything. Thirty one, six fives and number ifever
you want to get involved with the show, Joey, I've
been doing.
Speaker 4 (06:08):
Okay, you're an educator, so I'm guessing a childhood educator
over fifteen years. What do you think about this?
Speaker 8 (06:14):
Yeah, I mean I've been an educator for more than
fifteen years now, director and everything else. I do know
quite a bit of background, and I've had to do
all that study and everything I currently coasly with my
one year old.
Speaker 4 (06:31):
Yeah, so you went into the with all the theory
saying this is bad, I'm.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
Not going to do it.
Speaker 8 (06:38):
Yep.
Speaker 1 (06:38):
Was it just exhaustion? What got you there?
Speaker 8 (06:42):
Exhaustion? You do what you have to do as a parent.
I mean, you know, it's like you said, it's the
same as breastfeeding. You do all the research and you
look into everything, but at the end of the day,
it's what works with you, for you and your family.
And if this is what works, then do it. Don't
borrow about the judgment and everything else.
Speaker 4 (07:02):
And you I think ultimately everyone's going you do you boo.
I'm just wanting to talk to someone who's really dead
against it to get the other side of this opinion.
Belinda of Strathpaint, I think that's you.
Speaker 8 (07:14):
That is me.
Speaker 5 (07:15):
Hi.
Speaker 7 (07:15):
I'm a nurse and I deal with I've had three children,
and all of my children I got to self settle.
It was really difficult, and they were all close together,
and sleep was just my thing to recover, and I
just felt that it was just not for me whatsoever.
And it's independent for myself, my partner, our relationship, and
(07:39):
also the child. I often see, it's all good and well,
until the mother's tired. Then everything falls to pieces. And
if also they have another baby, or if they're pregnant
again trishevzilmia.
Speaker 4 (07:53):
Co sleeping What do you think?
Speaker 7 (07:55):
I'm not against it at all.
Speaker 9 (07:57):
I have two children and I co let with them both. However,
my firstborn, he's now eleven, and I'm still dealing with
I think because we co slept, I still have to
lie with him each night for about the half hour
(08:19):
to an hour just to get him to sleep.
Speaker 1 (08:22):
Wow.
Speaker 4 (08:22):
Okay, well, so there are implications as the kids get older.
Speaker 9 (08:27):
Yeah, yeah, especially if if you if you know, don't
stick to you know, getting them out of your bed
kind of thing.
Speaker 1 (08:39):
Yeah, so maybe you've got to. Yeah, you got to.
If you do it earlier, you save it. You save
that trouble for later.
Speaker 9 (08:44):
That's right.
Speaker 4 (08:45):
Yeah, what if you didn't, What if you stop tonight?
Speaker 9 (08:50):
Uh, he's got I think he's got like pretty bad anxiety.
He would be up for hours and hours and you
know the screaming and crying and all of that fun stuff.
Speaker 4 (09:03):
Yep, fickle. Yeah, thanks mate, Thanks twenty of Wellington Point
Clinical Nurse.
Speaker 2 (09:10):
Oh what do you have to say?
Speaker 5 (09:12):
Yeah? I raised four boys and the third one was premi,
so the university was coming out to check him all
the time, and we mentioned that the three year old
second one was still coming into our bed, but we
had to be up and down for the Premi baby
all the time. So she said, you can't just carry
(09:32):
them back to their own bed. They'll just come back
to yours. You have to make them decide not to
want to be in your bed, So make it as
uncomfortable as possible. That we would roll into the middle,
squash him. If he was on the outside, we'd roll
the other way and knock him out of bed, pulling
an arm out and wax them heavy legs, duck over
(09:55):
the top of them, whatever you can come up with
to make them decide they don't want to be there.
So eventually, one night he just went and stormed back
to his own room and never once again.
Speaker 4 (10:08):
Advice is genius, Wendy, We love it.
Speaker 3 (10:11):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (10:11):
That's how you got the dog out, baby. Make it
uncomfortable all right? Excellent. You're listening to the Robin Terrrian
Kid Podcast.
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