Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Robin Terrri Kip on Brisbane's Kiss ninety seven to three.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Robin Terry and Gibbs full disclosure, no exposure, forgive me father,
for I sin.
Speaker 3 (00:12):
It's seven o eight.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
Now, if you've got someone underage in the car, you've
got someone listening that we're about to have a fairly
adult discussion as well.
Speaker 4 (00:20):
Yeah, and look, often we have to send these through
a legal team, but this one is going through a
medical team. So we are talking about medical issues. But
it is a very important conversation, and yet no one
wants to talk about it. So I guess what we're
saying is you've been warned.
Speaker 3 (00:36):
Yes, we've got kids in the car. Just give us
five minutes.
Speaker 5 (00:39):
It's important, it's not explicit.
Speaker 3 (00:40):
No, a couple of minutes yet.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
Yes, So here's the story, which which we got on
our website.
Speaker 3 (00:45):
You can go there at Kiss ninety seven three dot
com dot au and tell us your story.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
We will screen your voice so that no one knows
who you are, and then we can discuss.
Speaker 6 (00:54):
I have been in a relationship with a wayful man
for years. I love him and I do love him
with all my heart. But my problem is that he
hass to be and has asked me often when can
we stop using contoms? Our first date he said, I
have to tell you something, and he was upfront about it,
(01:15):
and I said, oh, that's fine.
Speaker 7 (01:16):
The problems, that's fine.
Speaker 6 (01:18):
And then now being seven six seven years and the
last twelve months, he's been really at me about can
we stop using them now? Because we're both before and
I am dead that one day this relationship and my
marriage dead, and I don't want another health issue, as
(01:41):
I've got lots of health issues. I don't know if
I should stop using problems, but I keep telling him
that my doctor says we have to do, which is
sort of true. I'm hoping that someone can help me
because I don't really know a lot about it. So
the reason why I'm contaking you guys, is because my
head's a lesson. I don't know what to do. I
(02:02):
can't talk to anyone about it because I am scared.
Speaker 7 (02:05):
Of the response.
Speaker 3 (02:07):
So he's got herpies.
Speaker 4 (02:08):
Yeah, if you miss that, that actually is the thing
we're talking about.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
So before we get to the medical side of it,
what do you think about.
Speaker 3 (02:18):
Just the general side of it.
Speaker 1 (02:20):
Being in a relationship has been together for seven years,
is it a fair question that he's asking.
Speaker 4 (02:25):
Oh, I think it's I mean, I think anything to
do with your body, like he wants one thing, she
wants another. I mean, I would say this about anything
in terms of when we've had this conversation about pregnancy
and so on. If you're not comfortable, then you're not comfortable,
right And you should be able to have that honest
and open conversation and that should be enough. And it's
(02:45):
not like they're not being able to do it, it's
just they're not doing it the way he wants. So,
you know, But I don't think anyone should be pressured
into anything they're not comfortable with.
Speaker 5 (02:55):
And I swear I'm not bringing you back in this.
But in the dating, in what's happening around here at
the moment people come. We often talk about the baggage
of their marriage history, but there's a medical history that
goes with people as well. So it's got to be
negotiated by a lot of people a lot of times
around Brisbane every week.
Speaker 3 (03:08):
Yeah, and I guess what she's saying, it's a big commitment. Yes,
we've been together for seven years, but once I get this,
this is with me for life, Whether you're around or not,
and I don't.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
Yeah, I don't think it's a fair I don't think
it's a fair request.
Speaker 4 (03:21):
Well you don't that he's saying that. No, I feel
is a long time And I mean the other issue too,
is what happens and it's not relevant for this couple,
I don't think. But what happens if you're trying for children.
I think that's a whole other Yes, do you know
what I mean?
Speaker 3 (03:34):
Yeah, I think that changes, it doesn't it It does? Yeah,
that's another element.
Speaker 4 (03:38):
But I mean, unless yeah, we don't know enough about it.
Speaker 5 (03:42):
If you know enough about it and don't want to
even give us your name, that's okay. I one three,
one oh sixty five. But apparently I've got these people
out there called doctors.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
Yes, yeah, well I want to talk to because we've
got a doctor line up.
Speaker 3 (03:53):
We're going to talk to her a second.
Speaker 1 (03:55):
But yeah, because I thought it was only a problem
when it flares up, so most of the time it's
not a problem.
Speaker 4 (04:00):
Yeah, And you get that because I get some cold source, right,
and it's part of that family, and you get a tingling,
So maybe that's yeah. See, okay, we're speculator.
Speaker 3 (04:09):
Really let's find out right after it after trainer.
Speaker 5 (04:12):
It's not doctor Google, is it?
Speaker 3 (04:13):
It's not interesting disclosure this morning.
Speaker 4 (04:18):
Yeah, from a woman who's desperately trying to find some
answers and see what the right thing to do is
because her partner has her bees.
Speaker 6 (04:26):
I have been in a relationship with a wonderful man.
I love him, but my problem is that he has
herbies and has asked me off when we stop using concoms.
But he's telling him that my doctor says we.
Speaker 5 (04:39):
Have to do.
Speaker 6 (04:40):
I can't talk to anyone about it because I am
scared of their response.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
So yeah, the response really got out of our pay grade.
It really did.
Speaker 8 (04:49):
It did.
Speaker 5 (04:49):
And look, any medical information around this topic is general
in nature and may not apply to you, and you
should seek advice relevant to your particular circumstances from a
qualified health professional. But we would like some questions answer,
and this is the perfect person, Dr Sam Hay. Now
you may recognize doctor Sam because he was the chief
medical advisor, the doc on the SAS Australia Series number one.
Speaker 3 (05:08):
No, he's a busy man.
Speaker 5 (05:09):
He's been in the battle zone before. Good morning, doctor.
Speaker 2 (05:12):
Sam, Good morning team mate.
Speaker 3 (05:15):
Can you straight now?
Speaker 5 (05:16):
Just the statistics on this alone, I mean, is this
a very common experience in relationships?
Speaker 9 (05:21):
All right, So we're talking about herpees, the Herpe simplex virus.
There's number one and there's number two. Number one classically
gives you cold saws. Number two classically gives you your
genital herpees. Now, it's actually an incredibly common virus to
be exposed to, and in fact, if we look at
studies of twenty year old about seventy six percent have
(05:42):
got evidence that they've come across Herbey simplex one in
their lives. About twelve percent purpose simplex two, which means.
Speaker 2 (05:52):
A lot of us have.
Speaker 9 (05:53):
Actually had the virus at some stage, but not everybody
gets the symptoms.
Speaker 1 (06:01):
Right, yeah, yeah, So effectively most of us carry it
and some of us have to have a problem with it.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
That's right, right, that's right. So for this this lady,
I completely understand the situation that she's in. So the
first thing is she may actually have been exposed to
this virus in the past, but just never experienced lesions
that she knew of, or recurring lesions, or sometimes people
are getting the legions but they're just very small and insignificant.
(06:30):
They don't realize.
Speaker 5 (06:32):
Okay, what about keep that question you had there that
you thought there's times when it flares up when it's
no go, but times when it's not fed up. It
might still be okay to have a sexual department without
a condom.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
Okay, So this is really interesting. So people who do
get recurring genital herpes for fragments, take we are shedding
most virus when you've got the lesion, when you don't
have a legions, but when your skin looks normal, you're
still shedding virus on about five percent of days. Now. Now,
(07:06):
the next thing is, okay, condoms do offer some protection,
but it depends where the lesions are, because if the
lesions are on your legs or in other areas, if
you're groin, the condum's not going to be covering where
the virus is coming out. So, in fact, condoms do
only protect against transmission about fifty percent.
Speaker 4 (07:27):
Okay, Okay, So you're saying abstinence when there are actual
like you can tell when it's and it's it's happening.
But what about this question of stopping condoms when there
isn't an outbreak?
Speaker 2 (07:43):
Okay, So obviously this is a decision for each couple
to make and I really urge other couples out there
to go and sit down with a good GP or
a sexual health position to fully understand what herpies is.
And this wilight be a situation where both both couples
get their bloodseds done to understand what their past's exposure
(08:03):
has been. Because if you've been exposed to both viruses
in the past, then it's a bit of a it's
much less of an event.
Speaker 1 (08:13):
Okay, so yeah, because would that mean that you've got
some type of immunity to it?
Speaker 2 (08:20):
Correct, that's right. So most people who've been exposed to
the virus develop a degree of immunity and they don't
get recurring lesions. Some people do. Some people get lots
of recurring lesions every month, twice a year or whatever.
Some people only once a decade. It's very variable and
it's very hard to predict.
Speaker 5 (08:39):
Doctor Sam, which has been more difficult to negotiate this
question or a series of says Astralia, do.
Speaker 2 (08:46):
You know what this question? Because it creates a lot
of anxiety for couples because it's fought of as an
STD and that's right. It's generally is transmitted as a
sexual sexually transmitted to these but it's different. You can
pick up a bloody could sail from your auntie.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
Honestly, having a little boy, a toddler at daycare, I'm
terrified that he's going to get it there because the
kids are all just like, everyone's touching everything.
Speaker 3 (09:16):
It's just you know, it's it's, it's and if someone's
got it, then it's got everyone's going to have it.
Speaker 2 (09:22):
Yeah, So there's there's a lot of fear. There's a
lot of stigma. There's a lot of shame around herpes,
which with a bit of education and understanding, we can
break down and make seok fee a lot more comfortable.
Speaker 4 (09:33):
Mate, you have done that single handedly in the last
five minutes. We've all learnt something. So thank you very
very much.
Speaker 2 (09:42):
No dramas. I think my big message is if this
is an issue for you and your partner, go and
see your GP. If you don't have a good relationship
with your GP, then find someone that's going to talk
to you.
Speaker 5 (09:52):
Thanks doctor Sam. I want to say we'll get you
back again, but it doesn't seem appropriate.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
We're wrapping this up in a second, but we are
talking adult themes from our full disclosure no exposure from
a lady who whose partner has herpies.
Speaker 6 (10:06):
I have been in a relationship with a wonderful man.
I love him, but my problem is that he has
hebby and has asked me often when we stop using comcoms.
But he's telling him that my doctor said we have
to do. I can't talk to anyone about it because
I am scared of their response.
Speaker 3 (10:25):
M that's a tough one.
Speaker 4 (10:27):
It is a tough one. And we've had doctor Sam Hey,
a general practitioner, helping us out sort of demystifying everything
that's going on. But we've had a call come through
on thirteen one oh sixty five, Hello mystery person, Hello, Hey, what.
Speaker 5 (10:42):
Can you add to this?
Speaker 7 (10:44):
Well, my partner actually had like a flare up on
his neck and one doctor told him it was a
spider a spider bite, and was giving him like an
anybody for a spider bite, and it wouldn't got away,
but it went away on the phone, so that's what
we thought it was. And then he worked away and
another doctor went and actually, no, this is herpe wow
(11:08):
and gave him the right treatment for it. But like,
I don't care because I love him. We're going to
be together forever, but when he does flare up, I
don't like. Obviously he's self conscious, he stays away, but
I stay away as well. But I have a lot
of Like I have another friend with genital herpes, and
she always said, oh no, it's only you can only
catch it if I'm led up. But there's a lot
(11:29):
of people giving that wrong information out.
Speaker 3 (11:31):
Yeah, okay, so like, yeah, my question.
Speaker 7 (11:34):
Is a lot of people don't even know that it
could be anywhere on the body, not just in the groin,
the legs near the groins, or the cultural like this
is like further back on the neck.
Speaker 3 (11:42):
Well I've not heard of that before, doctor Sam, what
do you reckon?
Speaker 8 (11:47):
Absolutely so, classically HSB one causes cold source HSB two
causes genital herpes, but over the last couple of decades,
with a change in sexual practices, basically there's a bit
more oral sex going on, so there's a lot more
Number one down down below. But yes, the virus gets
into cuts, scratches. Graves's broken skin, so it can occur
(12:10):
anywhere from the top of your head to your toes.
Speaker 4 (12:13):
Wow, wow, man, I am learning stop today, guys. Thank
you also very much. We promise the adult conversation is
now done. Yes, and we'll move on and hopefully give
away fifty thousand dollars.
Speaker 5 (12:25):
Thank you, anonymous caller. And that was a bulk build
for all of Brisbane
Speaker 3 (12:29):
And Kidds on Brisbane's Cheese ninety seventy three