June 11, 2023 • 7 mins
Full Disclosure, No Exposure - Hiding Debt From Your Partner
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Robin Terrrily kip On Brisbane's Kiss ninety seven.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
To three Robin Terry and Kibbs Full disclosure, no exposure.
Speaker 3 (00:09):
Forgive me, father, for I have sin.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
This is where you get to tell us your deepest,
darkest secrets. We'll never find out who you are. You
can register a kiss ninety seven three dot com dot.
Speaker 4 (00:19):
Au and it's a way for you to get other
people's opinions and maybe some solutions that you haven't thought about.
And certainly that is what this one is going to be.
Speaker 5 (00:28):
So I have a shopping addiction. It started doing COVID
when everything went online, and it's spiraled out of control.
It's it's really bad. I've maxed out four buy now,
pay later repayments, and I've also got three credit cards
that are up to eighteen thousand dollars. I just keep
paying the minimums and it's a bit out of control.
I've mostly got clothes and shoes, but it's also appliances
(00:50):
and decorations for the house and all that kind of stuff.
Me and my partner have been saving for a house
posit and he has no idea about any of this.
The big means city of all the accounts and I'm
about to be found out a big time when you
do a credit check. So I'm just terrified he's going
to leave me, and I don't know what to do.
Do I tell him or do I just wait for
(01:11):
them to bring it up to his attention when they
do a credit reading.
Speaker 1 (01:15):
Thirteen one oh sixty five is our number to weigh in.
Speaker 3 (01:18):
So do you think she should tell him?
Speaker 5 (01:20):
I think so.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
I mean, look that there's most of us have debt, right,
but that type of debt, that credit card and the
buy now, pay later debt, that's like twenty twenty five percent,
So you're just so far behind. You're just getting so
much further behind every time you just pay the minimum payment.
Speaker 5 (01:35):
I know.
Speaker 4 (01:35):
But the problem too is that if this has been
going on for a long time, right so COVID what.
Speaker 3 (01:39):
Three years probably at least.
Speaker 4 (01:41):
Yeah, so she's been lying essentially, Like if you're keeping
that sort of a secret when there is an account
for a house deposit, yep, I mean I agree, but
I think you should go in with a solution, Like
I think you should find a way, like is there
a family member you could, like your mum? Could you
borrow the money off? Put all the debt in one place. Go,
this is what I've done. However, this is how we're
(02:02):
solving it.
Speaker 2 (02:03):
Yes, but okay, yeah, housing deposit in this market, that's
a massive betrayal of trust and dreams with a couple
people just trying to try and get their foot in
the door anywhere.
Speaker 4 (02:12):
Yeah, you then, but if you base it on that Vintez,
that means that you then don't say, well you risk it,
risk it and see if the bank doesn't.
Speaker 2 (02:21):
I think you need to check help with more than
the money. That's an addiction. That's like a gambler. That's like,
you need to show that you've got some way of
stopping this thing.
Speaker 3 (02:29):
I don't know. Yeah tomorrow, of course, Meade, what do
you reckon?
Speaker 6 (02:35):
I agree? She really needs to tell her partner. Being
honest is it makes the makes you both grow and
you know, like being honest, I realized it's a it's
a big, big debt. I didn't realize how big it was,
but she does. She needs to come forward and she
needs to tell a partner. You never know what partner
(02:56):
might do. You go, Okay, let's battle this together. How
much do you have? Yes, he's going to get a
shock but battling it together.
Speaker 3 (03:05):
But what if he leaves?
Speaker 4 (03:06):
What if he says, hang on a sec we were saving.
This is money I've put all my blood, sweat and
tears into.
Speaker 3 (03:10):
You've lied to me.
Speaker 4 (03:12):
I can't trust you. There are some people that are
so black and white.
Speaker 3 (03:17):
Is it worth the risk?
Speaker 6 (03:19):
I wouldn't be able to sleep if I wasn't honest
and I was wanting to buy a house with a partner.
Speaker 1 (03:26):
What if you found out your partner had spent all
of your savings on.
Speaker 3 (03:29):
Shoes, You'd be so hungry, you'd be furious when.
Speaker 7 (03:33):
Gambling saying, let's tell it, how many.
Speaker 4 (03:37):
People listening right now have lived this life because their partner,
male or female.
Speaker 3 (03:43):
It could be shopping, it could be gambling.
Speaker 4 (03:44):
Seriously, if you've got your own experiences, we'd love to
hear thirteen one oh sixty five because I think it's
actually got to be dealt with from someone who understands
the shame of it and then also how they got themselves.
Speaker 3 (03:56):
Out of it.
Speaker 2 (03:57):
Yeah, and on the positive side, this person's me fabulous
to wear to the bank manage the impression?
Speaker 4 (04:03):
Great, Why didn't that bloke notice like over the years,
if she's buying things for the house. And I'm not
saying that the onus is on him one hundred percent,
but you also like and I say this from experience,
because when my kid's dad died, we were in debt
to a huge amount of money that I didn't know about.
(04:23):
And my responsibility in that is that I should have known.
Speaker 1 (04:26):
But don't you have to trust your partner?
Speaker 4 (04:28):
Well, clearly not, because people have human experiences and get
addicted and things.
Speaker 3 (04:33):
Go terribly wrong.
Speaker 1 (04:34):
Thirteen one oh six five is our number.
Speaker 3 (04:36):
Phones are run it off.
Speaker 4 (04:36):
Here we go.
Speaker 1 (04:38):
She's ninety seven to three dot com dot au to
tell us your story today we heard from a shop Theholic.
Speaker 5 (04:43):
So I have a shopping addiction. It started doing COVID
when everything went online, and it's spiraled out of control.
It It's really bad. I've maxed out for buy now,
pay later repayments, and I've also got three credit cards
that are up to eighteen thousand dollars. Me and my
partner have been saving for a ho spuzsor and he
has no idea about any of this. The big means
(05:04):
the details of all the accounts, and I'm about to
be found out big time. We need to do a credit.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
Check, Robin, in the interest of for disclosure. Didn't you
once go on a splurge while you're under influence of painkillers?
Speaker 3 (05:14):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (05:15):
But see, the thing is, I'm on my own I
still have Squirrel account, so it doesn't matter if I
splurge or don't splurge.
Speaker 3 (05:23):
I don't have to answer to anyone.
Speaker 4 (05:24):
The thing I find so interesting about that voice, and
I've now heard it three times and I'm really listening.
Speaker 3 (05:28):
She sounds like she's resolved to it.
Speaker 4 (05:31):
She sounds like she knows that you know the end
is coming, and she's now just trying to see if
there's anyone got any great suggestions.
Speaker 3 (05:39):
But John of Nanda, you've got a slightly different predicament.
What happened?
Speaker 7 (05:45):
Oh hi, Robin, Hi everyone. Yeah, look, I firstly, I
do one hundred percent groove chapter before like you're going
to have to be full disclosure regardless it'll come out
kind of work in some of those circles. But my
situation was totally the opposite. We were saving sixty thousand dollars, well,
we was I for a deposit on a home, but
(06:08):
some couple of years later I found out she actually
had one hundred thousand dollars saved and didn't bring it
into the relationship in respect and still when I hadn't
bought the home and everything else attached to a relationship.
So you know, it just totally blew me away at
the time. Here I was struggling, trying to do everything
to get this home, and we chatted about it, looked
(06:30):
at numerous homes and everything.
Speaker 4 (06:32):
So are you guys? I'm taking it from the fact
you're even calling us that you're not still together?
Speaker 1 (06:37):
Correct?
Speaker 3 (06:37):
Okay, did she get half the house? Did they get
half the house?
Speaker 4 (06:42):
Yeah?
Speaker 7 (06:43):
Yeah, she definitely did you know years later, Yeah, it
worked out that way because of you know, the laws
in the country.
Speaker 1 (06:52):
Yeah, but they had one hundred thousand dollars they hid
from you while you're madly squirreling away saving.
Speaker 3 (06:58):
Contributed all to the savings of the deposit.
Speaker 7 (07:02):
Sorry, no, not one dollar.
Speaker 3 (07:06):
Oh that's Dodge. That's so bad.
Speaker 4 (07:09):
Is that one of the reasons why you're not together?
Because you found out.
Speaker 7 (07:13):
Part of it was it was a late red flag.
We'll call it a.
Speaker 3 (07:16):
Late red flag.
Speaker 5 (07:17):
Wow.
Speaker 4 (07:18):
Yeah, okay, yeah, Well are you happy now?
Speaker 5 (07:20):
John?
Speaker 3 (07:23):
Good?
Speaker 2 (07:23):
Good?
Speaker 3 (07:23):
There you go.
Speaker 1 (07:24):
Good.
Speaker 3 (07:25):
How would feel about that.
Speaker 4 (07:26):
I mean, you could argue that your money's your money,
but not if one person is actually doing it for
the both of you.
Speaker 1 (07:32):
Yeah, and all of a sudden, your money's their money.
Speaker 3 (07:36):
It takes a long time to get over it.
Speaker 2 (07:38):
All starts with this is your milk, and this is
my milk.
Speaker 3 (07:41):
Yes it's kids on Brisbane's Cheese at ninety seventy three.
Robin Terrrily kip On Brisbane's Kiss ninety seven.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
To three Robin Terry and Kibbs Full disclosure, no exposure.
Speaker 3 (00:09):
Forgive me, father, for I have sin.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
This is where you get to tell us your deepest,
darkest secrets. We'll never find out who you are. You
can register a kiss ninety seven three dot com dot.
Speaker 4 (00:19):
Au and it's a way for you to get other
people's opinions and maybe some solutions that you haven't thought about.
And certainly that is what this one is going to be.
Speaker 5 (00:28):
So I have a shopping addiction. It started doing COVID
when everything went online, and it's spiraled out of control.
It's it's really bad. I've maxed out four buy now,
pay later repayments, and I've also got three credit cards
that are up to eighteen thousand dollars. I just keep
paying the minimums and it's a bit out of control.
I've mostly got clothes and shoes, but it's also appliances
(00:50):
and decorations for the house and all that kind of stuff.
Me and my partner have been saving for a house
posit and he has no idea about any of this.
The big means city of all the accounts and I'm
about to be found out a big time when you
do a credit check. So I'm just terrified he's going
to leave me, and I don't know what to do.
Do I tell him or do I just wait for
(01:11):
them to bring it up to his attention when they
do a credit reading.
Speaker 1 (01:15):
Thirteen one oh sixty five is our number to weigh in.
Speaker 3 (01:18):
So do you think she should tell him?
Speaker 5 (01:20):
I think so.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
I mean, look that there's most of us have debt, right,
but that type of debt, that credit card and the
buy now, pay later debt, that's like twenty twenty five percent,
So you're just so far behind. You're just getting so
much further behind every time you just pay the minimum payment.
Speaker 5 (01:35):
I know.
Speaker 4 (01:35):
But the problem too is that if this has been
going on for a long time, right so COVID what.
Speaker 3 (01:39):
Three years probably at least.
Speaker 4 (01:41):
Yeah, so she's been lying essentially, Like if you're keeping
that sort of a secret when there is an account
for a house deposit, yep, I mean I agree, but
I think you should go in with a solution, Like
I think you should find a way, like is there
a family member you could, like your mum? Could you
borrow the money off? Put all the debt in one place. Go,
this is what I've done. However, this is how we're
(02:02):
solving it.
Speaker 2 (02:03):
Yes, but okay, yeah, housing deposit in this market, that's
a massive betrayal of trust and dreams with a couple
people just trying to try and get their foot in
the door anywhere.
Speaker 4 (02:12):
Yeah, you then, but if you base it on that Vintez,
that means that you then don't say, well you risk it,
risk it and see if the bank doesn't.
Speaker 2 (02:21):
I think you need to check help with more than
the money. That's an addiction. That's like a gambler. That's like,
you need to show that you've got some way of
stopping this thing.
Speaker 3 (02:29):
I don't know. Yeah tomorrow, of course, Meade, what do
you reckon?
Speaker 6 (02:35):
I agree? She really needs to tell her partner. Being
honest is it makes the makes you both grow and
you know, like being honest, I realized it's a it's
a big, big debt. I didn't realize how big it was,
but she does. She needs to come forward and she
needs to tell a partner. You never know what partner
(02:56):
might do. You go, Okay, let's battle this together. How
much do you have? Yes, he's going to get a
shock but battling it together.
Speaker 3 (03:05):
But what if he leaves?
Speaker 4 (03:06):
What if he says, hang on a sec we were saving.
This is money I've put all my blood, sweat and
tears into.
Speaker 3 (03:10):
You've lied to me.
Speaker 4 (03:12):
I can't trust you. There are some people that are
so black and white.
Speaker 3 (03:17):
Is it worth the risk?
Speaker 6 (03:19):
I wouldn't be able to sleep if I wasn't honest
and I was wanting to buy a house with a partner.
Speaker 1 (03:26):
What if you found out your partner had spent all
of your savings on.
Speaker 3 (03:29):
Shoes, You'd be so hungry, you'd be furious when.
Speaker 7 (03:33):
Gambling saying, let's tell it, how many.
Speaker 4 (03:37):
People listening right now have lived this life because their partner,
male or female.
Speaker 3 (03:43):
It could be shopping, it could be gambling.
Speaker 4 (03:44):
Seriously, if you've got your own experiences, we'd love to
hear thirteen one oh sixty five because I think it's
actually got to be dealt with from someone who understands
the shame of it and then also how they got themselves.
Speaker 3 (03:56):
Out of it.
Speaker 2 (03:57):
Yeah, and on the positive side, this person's me fabulous
to wear to the bank manage the impression?
Speaker 4 (04:03):
Great, Why didn't that bloke notice like over the years,
if she's buying things for the house. And I'm not
saying that the onus is on him one hundred percent,
but you also like and I say this from experience,
because when my kid's dad died, we were in debt
to a huge amount of money that I didn't know about.
(04:23):
And my responsibility in that is that I should have known.
Speaker 1 (04:26):
But don't you have to trust your partner?
Speaker 4 (04:28):
Well, clearly not, because people have human experiences and get
addicted and things.
Speaker 3 (04:33):
Go terribly wrong.
Speaker 1 (04:34):
Thirteen one oh six five is our number.
Speaker 3 (04:36):
Phones are run it off.
Speaker 4 (04:36):
Here we go.
Speaker 1 (04:38):
She's ninety seven to three dot com dot au to
tell us your story today we heard from a shop Theholic.
Speaker 5 (04:43):
So I have a shopping addiction. It started doing COVID
when everything went online, and it's spiraled out of control.
It It's really bad. I've maxed out for buy now,
pay later repayments, and I've also got three credit cards
that are up to eighteen thousand dollars. Me and my
partner have been saving for a ho spuzsor and he
has no idea about any of this. The big means
(05:04):
the details of all the accounts, and I'm about to
be found out big time. We need to do a credit.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
Check, Robin, in the interest of for disclosure. Didn't you
once go on a splurge while you're under influence of painkillers?
Speaker 3 (05:14):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (05:15):
But see, the thing is, I'm on my own I
still have Squirrel account, so it doesn't matter if I
splurge or don't splurge.
Speaker 3 (05:23):
I don't have to answer to anyone.
Speaker 4 (05:24):
The thing I find so interesting about that voice, and
I've now heard it three times and I'm really listening.
Speaker 3 (05:28):
She sounds like she's resolved to it.
Speaker 4 (05:31):
She sounds like she knows that you know the end
is coming, and she's now just trying to see if
there's anyone got any great suggestions.
Speaker 3 (05:39):
But John of Nanda, you've got a slightly different predicament.
What happened?
Speaker 7 (05:45):
Oh hi, Robin, Hi everyone. Yeah, look, I firstly, I
do one hundred percent groove chapter before like you're going
to have to be full disclosure regardless it'll come out
kind of work in some of those circles. But my
situation was totally the opposite. We were saving sixty thousand dollars, well,
we was I for a deposit on a home, but
(06:08):
some couple of years later I found out she actually
had one hundred thousand dollars saved and didn't bring it
into the relationship in respect and still when I hadn't
bought the home and everything else attached to a relationship.
So you know, it just totally blew me away at
the time. Here I was struggling, trying to do everything
to get this home, and we chatted about it, looked
(06:30):
at numerous homes and everything.
Speaker 4 (06:32):
So are you guys? I'm taking it from the fact
you're even calling us that you're not still together?
Speaker 1 (06:37):
Correct?
Speaker 3 (06:37):
Okay, did she get half the house? Did they get
half the house?
Speaker 4 (06:42):
Yeah?
Speaker 7 (06:43):
Yeah, she definitely did you know years later, Yeah, it
worked out that way because of you know, the laws
in the country.
Speaker 1 (06:52):
Yeah, but they had one hundred thousand dollars they hid
from you while you're madly squirreling away saving.
Speaker 3 (06:58):
Contributed all to the savings of the deposit.
Speaker 7 (07:02):
Sorry, no, not one dollar.
Speaker 3 (07:06):
Oh that's Dodge. That's so bad.
Speaker 4 (07:09):
Is that one of the reasons why you're not together?
Because you found out.
Speaker 7 (07:13):
Part of it was it was a late red flag.
We'll call it a.
Speaker 3 (07:16):
Late red flag.
Speaker 5 (07:17):
Wow.
Speaker 4 (07:18):
Yeah, okay, yeah, Well are you happy now?
Speaker 5 (07:20):
John?
Speaker 3 (07:23):
Good?
Speaker 2 (07:23):
Good?
Speaker 3 (07:23):
There you go.
Speaker 1 (07:24):
Good.
Speaker 3 (07:25):
How would feel about that.
Speaker 4 (07:26):
I mean, you could argue that your money's your money,
but not if one person is actually doing it for
the both of you.
Speaker 1 (07:32):
Yeah, and all of a sudden, your money's their money.
Speaker 3 (07:36):
It takes a long time to get over it.
Speaker 2 (07:38):
All starts with this is your milk, and this is
my milk.
Speaker 3 (07:41):
Yes it's kids on Brisbane's Cheese at ninety seventy three.
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