Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Robin and Kidd now with Choreos the podcast. Here at
the show, we often talk about and I am always
impressed at how well you co parent with your ex
Amber and your current partner Naomi, and how it all
seems to be like really amicable and you put your
(00:23):
five year old son Raffi first. And it occurred to
me last week when we were playing Brisbane's biggest game
of Hide and Seek, that maybe for the first time
Amber and Naomi had to do handover without you.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
Yeah, because I was that true, because we're in that
warehouse and ting gabul know what to be saying. So yeah,
I think it probably would be the first time.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
And I was amazed at how mature everyone was.
Speaker 3 (00:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (00:46):
Yeah, And I mean he is a great he's a
great kid. And he's a great icebreaker too because he
chats and he just like and he is absolutely insistent
on Amber loving Siena's stuff. Like he's like, you haven't
said lad to the baby every time? Every time as
the winner comes, Yeah she does, yeah, points to her, Yeah,
(01:10):
yeah she does.
Speaker 3 (01:11):
Yeah. But it wasn't always like that.
Speaker 2 (01:12):
I'm guessing, no, and that's I guess, like, I thank
you for for your compliments like I really do appreciate,
but I do feel like sometimes I feel like a
fraud as a as opposed to a child, because it's
so hard and it's not and it's it's not as
you know, it's not easy.
Speaker 3 (01:28):
And it's also like I remember, like the first Christmas.
Speaker 2 (01:31):
I remember the first Christmas was being like that's just
etched in my in my heart, in my mind of
like one of the worst days ever where I had
to well, I dropped him to her house Christmas morning
and and sort of just and and he was crying
and how old was he he would have been.
Speaker 3 (01:51):
I think that was two. I think it was too
and you know.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
And he was crying and so then I started crying,
and you know, it's took him inside and I just
like I sat in my car and I wept, like
I couldn't drive.
Speaker 3 (02:05):
I tried to drive away, but I.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
Couldn't drive because I couldn't see because I was crying
so much. Like it was just how much I was
hating my life and hating that, hating that it was
that we were doing changeovers and we were so awkward
with her and I wouldn't make eye contact. We here
we are Christmas Day, the Christmas previous we woke up together,
you know, we were a family, and then it was
all over and that and that and thinking this is
(02:30):
going to be my life, like this is what it's
going to be like forever.
Speaker 3 (02:33):
Was just so shock reality and just going, man, I'm
gonna go and have Christmas Day without my boy.
Speaker 1 (02:39):
Now were you by yourself?
Speaker 2 (02:40):
No, we had family, family were at home, but changed
then I don't probably maturity and time, you know, say
about time.
Speaker 3 (02:51):
Like things wounds.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
Heal right, you just you all of a sudden you
find things to talk about that, you know, because her
and I hadn't had a good conversation for probably for months,
you know, because we were breaking up and there was
just arguments, arguments, arguments, and so then all of a
sudden you start talking about you know, you learn to
start talking about the one thing that you both love,
which is Raphael.
Speaker 1 (03:14):
But you know, and I don't obviously, relationships, no one
knows what goes on behind closed doors. But one of
the things that I will say is that I think
the reason why you are the post to child and
I will continue to make you and Amber the poster
children with Naomi is because always it's about rafi. Yeah,
always like there was nothing more important to you three
(03:34):
than that kid being okay, And that is not always
the case. Look thirteen one oh six y five. If
you want to get involved, we have received a text
from a woman who's been watching a custody fallout from
the outsideh because she has a different role in this
child's life. I want to see if we can get
her up. Her name is Vanessa from Stafford. But I
(03:56):
think this sort of stuff is so important to talk
about because so many people do it wrong and badly,
kids get hurt.
Speaker 2 (04:03):
Yes, and there's and so many people are doing it
and whether or not, I mean, you never plan to
do it right, So how do you can't train for it?
I don't train for everything to go wrong.
Speaker 1 (04:12):
I'll be interested to hear what you have to say
when we get Vanessa up and she can tell you
the story. Vanessa, you're an observer to another family.
Speaker 4 (04:20):
Is that right?
Speaker 5 (04:21):
Yes? I am.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
How are you engaged in all of this? Because I think, again,
what you're saying is something common that other people would notice.
Speaker 5 (04:31):
I'm a coach of an athlete. I've been coaching for
many years and witnessing fifty to fifty percent custody, one
side not helping the other and basically trying to destroy
the children's life. It's it and playing points with them
in a sport that they love, and you know, one
(04:53):
doesn't want them doing it at a Pacific spot because
of their own means and own beliefs, things that they
believe that they've done. And you know, meanwhile the other
parent is trying to do bend over backwards and give
everything they want. It's really hard to watch get destroyed
by this and going, you know, I can't do anything.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
Can I ask? I knew a couple of people in
this situation where the mum or even the dad would
drop off to the sport on the times that they
had the kid, but then the other parent wouldn't, so
they could only ever play a game every two weeks
or do training every second week. Is that is that
the case?
Speaker 5 (05:34):
The parent has tried to do that and they've I
have been told that the parent has negotiated that he'll
drop off, but he will not participate, won't pay anything else,
or anything like that. I've seen on that competitions where
you know, the trial's not even allowed to go to
speak to the other parent. While knowing that they're they're
(05:57):
watching them, and they can't even get on and along
at a competition event. They've got to be separate, not
even allowed to go up and say good luck and
congratulations or anything like that because it's not their week,
which I find is really poor on the child.
Speaker 4 (06:13):
Can you see like a difference in the child like
obviously having to go through it, or like have you
seen like you know, body language, her emotions and you know,
obviously all of that's starting to drag her down, and
well drag the child down.
Speaker 5 (06:26):
Yeah, you know when it's months week and you know
when it's Dad's week in their attitude, you see it
in the way they perform their you know, their their sport.
So yeah, it's it's I always say, oh, is it
Dad's week this week? And she goes and she just
looks at me and I'm like okay, and you can tell,
and it's really it's a shame for the children. Like
(06:49):
at the end of the day, you should be putting
your child first and giving them everything that they want.
And that's why I mean kick because you know, putting
Roughie first is just you know, brilliant. I've seen the
worst of it. And I've seen the best of it
as well. So I've seen co parenting of another child
many years ago, and both families would go on holidays
(07:09):
together and everything like and spend Christmas Days and everything together.
So I see, I've seen both ends of the spectrum.
Speaker 1 (07:17):
So well done.
Speaker 5 (07:19):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (07:21):
I'm not guessing Kip is going to go on holiday.
Speaker 3 (07:26):
Just cool your jets. Let's just take baby steps everyone.
That's a good no.
Robin and Kidd now with Choreos the podcast. Here at
the show, we often talk about and I am always
impressed at how well you co parent with your ex
Amber and your current partner Naomi, and how it all
seems to be like really amicable and you put your
(00:23):
five year old son Raffi first. And it occurred to
me last week when we were playing Brisbane's biggest game
of Hide and Seek, that maybe for the first time
Amber and Naomi had to do handover without you.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
Yeah, because I was that true, because we're in that
warehouse and ting gabul know what to be saying. So yeah,
I think it probably would be the first time.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
And I was amazed at how mature everyone was.
Speaker 3 (00:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (00:46):
Yeah, And I mean he is a great he's a
great kid. And he's a great icebreaker too because he
chats and he just like and he is absolutely insistent
on Amber loving Siena's stuff. Like he's like, you haven't
said lad to the baby every time? Every time as
the winner comes, Yeah she does, yeah, points to her, Yeah,
(01:10):
yeah she does.
Speaker 3 (01:11):
Yeah. But it wasn't always like that.
Speaker 2 (01:12):
I'm guessing, no, and that's I guess, like, I thank
you for for your compliments like I really do appreciate,
but I do feel like sometimes I feel like a
fraud as a as opposed to a child, because it's
so hard and it's not and it's it's not as
you know, it's not easy.
Speaker 3 (01:28):
And it's also like I remember, like the first Christmas.
Speaker 2 (01:31):
I remember the first Christmas was being like that's just
etched in my in my heart, in my mind of
like one of the worst days ever where I had
to well, I dropped him to her house Christmas morning
and and sort of just and and he was crying
and how old was he he would have been.
Speaker 3 (01:51):
I think that was two. I think it was too
and you know.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
And he was crying and so then I started crying,
and you know, it's took him inside and I just
like I sat in my car and I wept, like
I couldn't drive.
Speaker 3 (02:05):
I tried to drive away, but I.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
Couldn't drive because I couldn't see because I was crying
so much. Like it was just how much I was
hating my life and hating that, hating that it was
that we were doing changeovers and we were so awkward
with her and I wouldn't make eye contact. We here
we are Christmas Day, the Christmas previous we woke up together,
you know, we were a family, and then it was
all over and that and that and thinking this is
(02:30):
going to be my life, like this is what it's
going to be like forever.
Speaker 3 (02:33):
Was just so shock reality and just going, man, I'm
gonna go and have Christmas Day without my boy.
Speaker 1 (02:39):
Now were you by yourself?
Speaker 2 (02:40):
No, we had family, family were at home, but changed
then I don't probably maturity and time, you know, say
about time.
Speaker 3 (02:51):
Like things wounds.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
Heal right, you just you all of a sudden you
find things to talk about that, you know, because her
and I hadn't had a good conversation for probably for months,
you know, because we were breaking up and there was
just arguments, arguments, arguments, and so then all of a
sudden you start talking about you know, you learn to
start talking about the one thing that you both love,
which is Raphael.
Speaker 1 (03:14):
But you know, and I don't obviously, relationships, no one
knows what goes on behind closed doors. But one of
the things that I will say is that I think
the reason why you are the post to child and
I will continue to make you and Amber the poster
children with Naomi is because always it's about rafi. Yeah,
always like there was nothing more important to you three
(03:34):
than that kid being okay, And that is not always
the case. Look thirteen one oh six y five. If
you want to get involved, we have received a text
from a woman who's been watching a custody fallout from
the outsideh because she has a different role in this
child's life. I want to see if we can get
her up. Her name is Vanessa from Stafford. But I
(03:56):
think this sort of stuff is so important to talk
about because so many people do it wrong and badly,
kids get hurt.
Speaker 2 (04:03):
Yes, and there's and so many people are doing it
and whether or not, I mean, you never plan to
do it right, So how do you can't train for it?
I don't train for everything to go wrong.
Speaker 1 (04:12):
I'll be interested to hear what you have to say
when we get Vanessa up and she can tell you
the story. Vanessa, you're an observer to another family.
Speaker 4 (04:20):
Is that right?
Speaker 5 (04:21):
Yes? I am.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
How are you engaged in all of this? Because I think, again,
what you're saying is something common that other people would notice.
Speaker 5 (04:31):
I'm a coach of an athlete. I've been coaching for
many years and witnessing fifty to fifty percent custody, one
side not helping the other and basically trying to destroy
the children's life. It's it and playing points with them
in a sport that they love, and you know, one
(04:53):
doesn't want them doing it at a Pacific spot because
of their own means and own beliefs, things that they
believe that they've done. And you know, meanwhile the other
parent is trying to do bend over backwards and give
everything they want. It's really hard to watch get destroyed
by this and going, you know, I can't do anything.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
Can I ask? I knew a couple of people in
this situation where the mum or even the dad would
drop off to the sport on the times that they
had the kid, but then the other parent wouldn't, so
they could only ever play a game every two weeks
or do training every second week. Is that is that
the case?
Speaker 5 (05:34):
The parent has tried to do that and they've I
have been told that the parent has negotiated that he'll
drop off, but he will not participate, won't pay anything else,
or anything like that. I've seen on that competitions where
you know, the trial's not even allowed to go to
speak to the other parent. While knowing that they're they're
(05:57):
watching them, and they can't even get on and along
at a competition event. They've got to be separate, not
even allowed to go up and say good luck and
congratulations or anything like that because it's not their week,
which I find is really poor on the child.
Speaker 4 (06:13):
Can you see like a difference in the child like
obviously having to go through it, or like have you
seen like you know, body language, her emotions and you know,
obviously all of that's starting to drag her down, and
well drag the child down.
Speaker 5 (06:26):
Yeah, you know when it's months week and you know
when it's Dad's week in their attitude, you see it
in the way they perform their you know, their their sport.
So yeah, it's it's I always say, oh, is it
Dad's week this week? And she goes and she just
looks at me and I'm like okay, and you can tell,
and it's really it's a shame for the children. Like
(06:49):
at the end of the day, you should be putting
your child first and giving them everything that they want.
And that's why I mean kick because you know, putting
Roughie first is just you know, brilliant. I've seen the
worst of it. And I've seen the best of it
as well. So I've seen co parenting of another child
many years ago, and both families would go on holidays
(07:09):
together and everything like and spend Christmas Days and everything together.
So I see, I've seen both ends of the spectrum.
Speaker 1 (07:17):
So well done.
Speaker 5 (07:19):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (07:21):
I'm not guessing Kip is going to go on holiday.
Speaker 3 (07:26):
Just cool your jets. Let's just take baby steps everyone.
That's a good no.
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