October 14, 2024 • 9 mins
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
You're listening to the Robin and Kid podcast. I'm really
interested in this conversation because you and I will have
very different takes on it based on our own personal experiences.
If you've listened to the show for a long time,
you'll know that we have revealed lots about our personal
lives and you, in the past were cheated on.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
A couple of times.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
Yeah, okay, a couple of times. Haven't known about one?
Speaker 3 (00:23):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (00:23):
Ah, really, this is the second time. The first one
was your first wife.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
Wife, and then the first sort of long term girlfriend
that I.
Speaker 1 (00:34):
Had after that as well, the American one.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
Yeah, American one.
Speaker 1 (00:37):
Oh okay, but you were long distance, long between America
and Australia. That does not make it. Okay.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
Yes, there were extenuating circumstances, but still it happened.
Speaker 1 (00:46):
And so from my perspective, I get a bit kind
of I want to absolutely declare and say, yes I cheated,
but there were also extenuating circumstances, and they will be
in the book, and then I'm sure you will come
back to me and tell me exactly what you there.
Ok sure, but that's for this conversation. Let's say I've
sat on one side you've said on the other yes,
So it is really interesting. I found this guy. He's
(01:08):
the founder of the Infidelity Counseling Center in California, and
he's done counseling and psychology. He's a licensed marriage and
family counselor a clinical psychologist. He spent seventeen years trying
to help couples work through infidelity and cheating. And he
says that the obvious thing from outsider is that you
just cut and run. Yes, that's what people should do,
(01:31):
but he's saying that that is actually the opposite of
what you should do. There are two ways to deal
with cheating. One is you can look at it sometimes,
and this is his quote. He says, sometimes infidelity is
the clear signal that this relationship shouldn't have existed in
the first place, and then it's a cut and run scario.
But in other cases, it can present a golden opportunity
(01:52):
for couples to address underlying issues and work together towards
a stronger relationship. So if something's can and you want
to save the relationship, you've got to ask why it broke, right,
is what I take from that. Yeah, okay, And there
are three myths that he's kicked off to say that
if you are involved with someone who you think is cheating,
(02:12):
or maybe you're cheating yourself, then this is the first
thing and it is what is the definition of cheating?
And again, I think you and I are going to
be really different on this. Is flirting cheating.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
No, I don't think so, Okay.
Speaker 1 (02:28):
Is texting someone else cheating?
Speaker 2 (02:30):
I mean it's starting to get murky, But no, I
don't think so.
Speaker 1 (02:33):
Texting not sexting.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
Yeah, I mean sexting is gross as well, but I
mean you can sort of you can get past that.
And once something physical happens, what really.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
Yeah, if Naomi was sexting.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
Like, there'd be a massive row and I'd be you know,
it'd be a big problem. But if she hadn't done
anything yet.
Speaker 1 (02:55):
Oh, so for you it is purely physical.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
Yeah, you've got to do something before it's proper cheating.
Speaker 1 (03:00):
Kiss touching though, yeah, yeah, at.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
Least a kiss or whatever else. And then obviously, you know,
the more you can do, the worse it gets. But
but yeah, there's got to be it's got to be
a physical transgression, I should say transition.
Speaker 1 (03:14):
Yeah, No, that's not that's not my definition at all.
My definition, emotional cheating is almost worse in my world, right,
because I think if you have given your heart or
you're starting to give your heart to someone else, yes,
then that's much more dangerous than the physical touch of things.
(03:36):
Isn't that interesting?
Speaker 2 (03:37):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (03:38):
You don't think so.
Speaker 2 (03:39):
No, I don't know. I think. I think because people
have fantasies and all those other things people have, you know,
you have these dreams, and then you can go you
can get right up to a point and go, WHOA,
what the heck was I doing? And don't do anything,
and then you've you've stepped back before you've crossed the
big line. Like you're crossing a line, no doubt, But
there's a The big line is when when you when
you cross into physic CARLDI.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
Okay, thirteen one oh six y five. If anyone wants
to jump in on this, because I like, for example,
what about online, right, and there's someone who's chatting to
someone else in America and they're doing it in the
middle of the night while their partners asleep. They're not
touching each other, but let me tell you, they are
also potentially not you know, just going Hi, how's your day?
Speaker 2 (04:20):
Yeah, I mean, look video calls start making it even
harder these days. So they're not touching you if they're
touching themselves.
Speaker 1 (04:29):
I mean, no, no, no, I'm trying. This is and this
is what this guy says. This guy says tallal a
slim his name is? This guy says it. Actually, there
isn't a cut and dried rule. It comes down to
what couples consider. And the biggest mistake couples mostly make
when they get together is they don't have this discussion.
Speaker 2 (04:49):
Yeah, what where the lines are?
Speaker 1 (04:50):
Where the lines are? And then miscommunication happens, someone gets jealous,
there's a rift, you know, there's a lack of trust
and on what it goes because we don't actually had
this conversation. So have I blurred your lines?
Speaker 2 (05:03):
Yes?
Speaker 4 (05:04):
That is?
Speaker 2 (05:04):
I mean the video call thing is so blurry, like
what do you do there? So well, but let's do
the other two points another time. Because you've got so
many calls, people want to weigh in on this or
where the line is for cheating? So thirteen one oh
sixty five out number, it's rolling a kip.
Speaker 1 (05:17):
Death of amistin what do you reckon?
Speaker 4 (05:20):
Hey? Me and my partner have a rule that if
you are say you're texting someone or you've got a
message on Facebook and you feel the need that you
need to delete it. That's wrong, that's cheating.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
Huh.
Speaker 1 (05:36):
Well, so if you need to hide the message because
you're sure.
Speaker 4 (05:40):
No, it's wrong, wrong, right, it shouldn't happen.
Speaker 1 (05:43):
Okay, that's a good that's a good rule. That is
a really good rule.
Speaker 2 (05:47):
Renee wants to weigh in on this in a second, apparently,
and Producers saying she's been cheated on physically and emotionally,
and she can say unequivocally which one is worse.
Speaker 1 (05:57):
But Renee of Forest Lake, Oh, I've been way for
your core because sadly, my love, you've had experience of
both emotional and physical cheating. Is that right?
Speaker 3 (06:07):
Yes? That is correct? And I ten hundred percent say
that like emotional is a lot more in depth and
it hurts and affects you a lot more than physical
because with physical, the way I say it is, you
know not obviously a lot of people will say this
is incorrect. But sex and sex, and if you don't
(06:30):
have that little bit more of depth, like conversation, then
you can kind of get past that a little bit more,
if that makes sense.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
Was it the same person, renee, did the same person
do it to you?
Speaker 3 (06:43):
No? So previously, like many years ago, it was more physical,
was physical cheat, but the emotional was as of recent
and that's just more like in terms of actually texting
someone reminiscenting, reminiscing because it was someone from the past
(07:08):
and going I want to be with you, I miss you,
and then basically, yeah, we've got kids involved, so it's
a bit of a different kettle fish, but also too
then there was also the potential nudity photos as well,
So for me, that's a little bit more in depth because.
Speaker 2 (07:27):
Did you have to see this? Did you have to
see those things? You saw the messages in the photos?
Speaker 3 (07:31):
Yeah, I've seen everything.
Speaker 1 (07:33):
Are you still with him?
Speaker 3 (07:37):
We are going to try to see if there's ways
around it, like counseling and stuff. It's definitely hurt me
to a full extent. But yeah, like basically at the
end of it, it's more that I thought physical was
the one that would hurt the most, but the emotional
just plays in your head so much more and so
(07:58):
much more different.
Speaker 1 (07:59):
Man, I'm going to give you two hundred dollars to
spend at a Doda spa. It sounds like you need
to do something lovely for you.
Speaker 2 (08:08):
Oh, thank you, thanks for best of luck with all that. Wow,
that's full on, I.
Speaker 1 (08:13):
Know, Camille Askavuca, what did you like to say?
Speaker 4 (08:17):
Hi?
Speaker 5 (08:17):
How are you going? Hey?
Speaker 2 (08:18):
Mel So have you had it happened to you?
Speaker 5 (08:21):
Yeah? So I was married for twenty five years and
six years I found out. So I found out he
was sitting online and I've tried to stay six years
and I found so much information of what he was
up to, lots of different.
Speaker 1 (08:36):
Things for six years.
Speaker 5 (08:37):
He kept that up six years. So I didn't know
in the beginning. In the beginning it was just online, right,
And then I found women who would contact with him,
Ladies of the night.
Speaker 1 (08:50):
Yeah, wow, I used to have been.
Speaker 5 (08:52):
I used to live in Melbourne. I now live in
Queensland him so I couldn't stand the whole the start
of it all, and yeah, it just got worse. And
then we went on a cruise together and he did
it with a woman on the cruise with it. That
was my I'm giving out. It took me a year
after that.
Speaker 2 (09:09):
Sorry, Hag, did you say you hit? There was about
other women on the cruise.
Speaker 1 (09:12):
Because a woman on the cruise yet my goodness, Camille
well in oh Man. Wow, well yeah you did, yeah
you did, well done, you mate, that's extraordinary, sir.
Speaker 2 (09:25):
Let's get you to be here in Bolimba. You can
go and get a nice style and blow blow wave there.
Feel better about it all. Thank you, thank you.
Speaker 4 (09:35):
It's Robin here on Brisbane's Kiss.
You're listening to the Robin and Kid podcast. I'm really
interested in this conversation because you and I will have
very different takes on it based on our own personal experiences.
If you've listened to the show for a long time,
you'll know that we have revealed lots about our personal
lives and you, in the past were cheated on.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
A couple of times.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
Yeah, okay, a couple of times. Haven't known about one?
Speaker 3 (00:23):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (00:23):
Ah, really, this is the second time. The first one
was your first wife.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
Wife, and then the first sort of long term girlfriend
that I.
Speaker 1 (00:34):
Had after that as well, the American one.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
Yeah, American one.
Speaker 1 (00:37):
Oh okay, but you were long distance, long between America
and Australia. That does not make it. Okay.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
Yes, there were extenuating circumstances, but still it happened.
Speaker 1 (00:46):
And so from my perspective, I get a bit kind
of I want to absolutely declare and say, yes I cheated,
but there were also extenuating circumstances, and they will be
in the book, and then I'm sure you will come
back to me and tell me exactly what you there.
Ok sure, but that's for this conversation. Let's say I've
sat on one side you've said on the other yes,
So it is really interesting. I found this guy. He's
(01:08):
the founder of the Infidelity Counseling Center in California, and
he's done counseling and psychology. He's a licensed marriage and
family counselor a clinical psychologist. He spent seventeen years trying
to help couples work through infidelity and cheating. And he
says that the obvious thing from outsider is that you
just cut and run. Yes, that's what people should do,
(01:31):
but he's saying that that is actually the opposite of
what you should do. There are two ways to deal
with cheating. One is you can look at it sometimes,
and this is his quote. He says, sometimes infidelity is
the clear signal that this relationship shouldn't have existed in
the first place, and then it's a cut and run scario.
But in other cases, it can present a golden opportunity
(01:52):
for couples to address underlying issues and work together towards
a stronger relationship. So if something's can and you want
to save the relationship, you've got to ask why it broke, right,
is what I take from that. Yeah, okay, And there
are three myths that he's kicked off to say that
if you are involved with someone who you think is cheating,
(02:12):
or maybe you're cheating yourself, then this is the first
thing and it is what is the definition of cheating?
And again, I think you and I are going to
be really different on this. Is flirting cheating.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
No, I don't think so, Okay.
Speaker 1 (02:28):
Is texting someone else cheating?
Speaker 2 (02:30):
I mean it's starting to get murky, But no, I
don't think so.
Speaker 1 (02:33):
Texting not sexting.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
Yeah, I mean sexting is gross as well, but I
mean you can sort of you can get past that.
And once something physical happens, what really.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
Yeah, if Naomi was sexting.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
Like, there'd be a massive row and I'd be you know,
it'd be a big problem. But if she hadn't done
anything yet.
Speaker 1 (02:55):
Oh, so for you it is purely physical.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
Yeah, you've got to do something before it's proper cheating.
Speaker 1 (03:00):
Kiss touching though, yeah, yeah, at.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
Least a kiss or whatever else. And then obviously, you know,
the more you can do, the worse it gets. But
but yeah, there's got to be it's got to be
a physical transgression, I should say transition.
Speaker 1 (03:14):
Yeah, No, that's not that's not my definition at all.
My definition, emotional cheating is almost worse in my world, right,
because I think if you have given your heart or
you're starting to give your heart to someone else, yes,
then that's much more dangerous than the physical touch of things.
(03:36):
Isn't that interesting?
Speaker 2 (03:37):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (03:38):
You don't think so.
Speaker 2 (03:39):
No, I don't know. I think. I think because people
have fantasies and all those other things people have, you know,
you have these dreams, and then you can go you
can get right up to a point and go, WHOA,
what the heck was I doing? And don't do anything,
and then you've you've stepped back before you've crossed the
big line. Like you're crossing a line, no doubt, But
there's a The big line is when when you when
you cross into physic CARLDI.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
Okay, thirteen one oh six y five. If anyone wants
to jump in on this, because I like, for example,
what about online, right, and there's someone who's chatting to
someone else in America and they're doing it in the
middle of the night while their partners asleep. They're not
touching each other, but let me tell you, they are
also potentially not you know, just going Hi, how's your day?
Speaker 2 (04:20):
Yeah, I mean, look video calls start making it even
harder these days. So they're not touching you if they're
touching themselves.
Speaker 1 (04:29):
I mean, no, no, no, I'm trying. This is and this
is what this guy says. This guy says tallal a
slim his name is? This guy says it. Actually, there
isn't a cut and dried rule. It comes down to
what couples consider. And the biggest mistake couples mostly make
when they get together is they don't have this discussion.
Speaker 2 (04:49):
Yeah, what where the lines are?
Speaker 1 (04:50):
Where the lines are? And then miscommunication happens, someone gets jealous,
there's a rift, you know, there's a lack of trust
and on what it goes because we don't actually had
this conversation. So have I blurred your lines?
Speaker 2 (05:03):
Yes?
Speaker 4 (05:04):
That is?
Speaker 2 (05:04):
I mean the video call thing is so blurry, like
what do you do there? So well, but let's do
the other two points another time. Because you've got so
many calls, people want to weigh in on this or
where the line is for cheating? So thirteen one oh
sixty five out number, it's rolling a kip.
Speaker 1 (05:17):
Death of amistin what do you reckon?
Speaker 4 (05:20):
Hey? Me and my partner have a rule that if
you are say you're texting someone or you've got a
message on Facebook and you feel the need that you
need to delete it. That's wrong, that's cheating.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
Huh.
Speaker 1 (05:36):
Well, so if you need to hide the message because
you're sure.
Speaker 4 (05:40):
No, it's wrong, wrong, right, it shouldn't happen.
Speaker 1 (05:43):
Okay, that's a good that's a good rule. That is
a really good rule.
Speaker 2 (05:47):
Renee wants to weigh in on this in a second, apparently,
and Producers saying she's been cheated on physically and emotionally,
and she can say unequivocally which one is worse.
Speaker 1 (05:57):
But Renee of Forest Lake, Oh, I've been way for
your core because sadly, my love, you've had experience of
both emotional and physical cheating. Is that right?
Speaker 3 (06:07):
Yes? That is correct? And I ten hundred percent say
that like emotional is a lot more in depth and
it hurts and affects you a lot more than physical
because with physical, the way I say it is, you
know not obviously a lot of people will say this
is incorrect. But sex and sex, and if you don't
(06:30):
have that little bit more of depth, like conversation, then
you can kind of get past that a little bit more,
if that makes sense.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
Was it the same person, renee, did the same person
do it to you?
Speaker 3 (06:43):
No? So previously, like many years ago, it was more physical,
was physical cheat, but the emotional was as of recent
and that's just more like in terms of actually texting
someone reminiscenting, reminiscing because it was someone from the past
(07:08):
and going I want to be with you, I miss you,
and then basically, yeah, we've got kids involved, so it's
a bit of a different kettle fish, but also too
then there was also the potential nudity photos as well,
So for me, that's a little bit more in depth because.
Speaker 2 (07:27):
Did you have to see this? Did you have to
see those things? You saw the messages in the photos?
Speaker 3 (07:31):
Yeah, I've seen everything.
Speaker 1 (07:33):
Are you still with him?
Speaker 3 (07:37):
We are going to try to see if there's ways
around it, like counseling and stuff. It's definitely hurt me
to a full extent. But yeah, like basically at the
end of it, it's more that I thought physical was
the one that would hurt the most, but the emotional
just plays in your head so much more and so
(07:58):
much more different.
Speaker 1 (07:59):
Man, I'm going to give you two hundred dollars to
spend at a Doda spa. It sounds like you need
to do something lovely for you.
Speaker 2 (08:08):
Oh, thank you, thanks for best of luck with all that. Wow,
that's full on, I.
Speaker 1 (08:13):
Know, Camille Askavuca, what did you like to say?
Speaker 4 (08:17):
Hi?
Speaker 5 (08:17):
How are you going? Hey?
Speaker 2 (08:18):
Mel So have you had it happened to you?
Speaker 5 (08:21):
Yeah? So I was married for twenty five years and
six years I found out. So I found out he
was sitting online and I've tried to stay six years
and I found so much information of what he was
up to, lots of different.
Speaker 1 (08:36):
Things for six years.
Speaker 5 (08:37):
He kept that up six years. So I didn't know
in the beginning. In the beginning it was just online, right,
And then I found women who would contact with him,
Ladies of the night.
Speaker 1 (08:50):
Yeah, wow, I used to have been.
Speaker 5 (08:52):
I used to live in Melbourne. I now live in
Queensland him so I couldn't stand the whole the start
of it all, and yeah, it just got worse. And
then we went on a cruise together and he did
it with a woman on the cruise with it. That
was my I'm giving out. It took me a year
after that.
Speaker 2 (09:09):
Sorry, Hag, did you say you hit? There was about
other women on the cruise.
Speaker 1 (09:12):
Because a woman on the cruise yet my goodness, Camille
well in oh Man. Wow, well yeah you did, yeah
you did, well done, you mate, that's extraordinary, sir.
Speaker 2 (09:25):
Let's get you to be here in Bolimba. You can
go and get a nice style and blow blow wave there.
Feel better about it all. Thank you, thank you.
Speaker 4 (09:35):
It's Robin here on Brisbane's Kiss.
Popular Podcasts
Are You A Charlotte?
In 1997, actress Kristin Davis’ life was forever changed when she took on the role of Charlotte York in Sex and the City. As we watched Carrie, Samantha, Miranda and Charlotte navigate relationships in NYC, the show helped push once unacceptable conversation topics out of the shadows and altered the narrative around women and sex. We all saw ourselves in them as they searched for fulfillment in life, sex and friendships. Now, Kristin Davis wants to connect with you, the fans, and share untold stories and all the behind the scenes. Together, with Kristin and special guests, what will begin with Sex and the City will evolve into talks about themes that are still so relevant today. "Are you a Charlotte?" is much more than just rewatching this beloved show, it brings the past and the present together as we talk with heart, humor and of course some optimism.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com