Welcome back to Saucy Secrets! This week gets extra spicy as Jana Hocking reveals what really went down during her first-hand experience at a posh swinger's club. Aussie shore star Lily Jade spills her juiciest, unfiltered secrets plus Jana shares some must hear advice for a listener who suspects she was secretly filmed during a casual hookup.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Susy secrets.
Speaker 2 (00:01):
To be honest, I wasn't sure if this was even
gonna happen. I wasn't sure if we would get a
week too. But here we are Week two. We are back.
This is saucy secrets on Kiss the Confessional Booth you
didn't know you needed with your no filter sex and
dating columnist Janna Hocking. Oh thanks to Juju. Janna, Hello, Hello.
Speaker 3 (00:19):
It's so nice to see you again. I was worried too,
especially when I logged onto YouTube.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
Because this is being streamed on YouTube as well, so
you can watch.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
You can, but for one hot second you couldn't watch.
And we were given.
Speaker 3 (00:30):
A heads up last week. Listen, it's pretty saucy. Let's
see how long it stays up on YouTube.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
And so I logged on. It was there. I logged
on the next day it was not there.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
But it's back.
Speaker 3 (00:41):
But it's back, and they thankfully.
Speaker 1 (00:43):
Put it back up.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
And look, there is every chance that the YouTube stream
this week could be interrupted. I'm looking at the runsheet
er up. I'm just gonna read what it says. Yeah,
Janah went to a swingers club in London.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
I did check. It was insane.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
Your world like your world and my world could not
be more different.
Speaker 3 (01:01):
This is my job and I take it very seriously.
There are no lengths I won't go to. If someone
wants to know what a swingers club is, like, I'll
travel there and tell them I'm just.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
Picturing, you know, like when you catch up with your
quote unquote normal mates and you haven't a yap about
what do you get up to this week? You know,
gazz oh, you know, Gazz is a mechanic, and Gazz
oh you know, I fixed a Toyota Corolla and blah
blah bah, And then it gets to you, what do
you get up to this week? Oh, flew to London,
went to a swingers club, normal stuff.
Speaker 3 (01:29):
My favorite thing is going what can I write about next?
And typing into Google what crazy sex shit is going on,
and then asking my editor if I can go.
Speaker 1 (01:38):
Check it out.
Speaker 2 (01:38):
So we will talk about Janna's time inside a London
swingers club that's coming up a little later on. And
there's this dating trend that's helping ugly dudes.
Speaker 3 (01:47):
It's called tracking, and it's yeah, it's letting ugly dudes
get laid.
Speaker 1 (01:52):
So got a good news yeah for this.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
Week and this whole journey that you're now on. I'm
going to put it out their Australia's premiere Sex and
Dating Collness. It's not the world because you're writing for
publications everywhere.
Speaker 3 (02:07):
I write for Daily Mail US UK and Australia.
Speaker 2 (02:11):
I'm sure if the colonies on Mars are looking for
a sex colonists, they're going to look your way. It
makes complete sense. But you kind of started this journey,
I suppose just saying to people, Hey, have you got
something juicy that you've got up to? Do you want
to tell me about it?
Speaker 1 (02:26):
Yeah? It was a quiet night during lockdown.
Speaker 3 (02:30):
I was bored. I'm a bit of a perv. I
wanted to know what people were getting up to in
the bed.
Speaker 2 (02:36):
I don't think that's shocking anyone, to be honest.
Speaker 1 (02:39):
How did you get your job?
Speaker 3 (02:40):
Well, I'm a bit of a perv and you know
I'm a journalist, So I asked people to tell me
their sauces secrets and they really did.
Speaker 2 (02:49):
Next, we have a confessional from an Australian TV star.
Speaker 1 (02:54):
Yes, she's famous for boinking on TV.
Speaker 2 (02:58):
But she's been I guess. Pointing two people that share
a very close relationship and they don't know about it.
Speaker 1 (03:05):
I'm so excited to hear her saucy secret.
Speaker 2 (03:07):
Who is this Australian TV star or get to it
next saucy Secrets on Kiss. Wow, it's only week two
and we've got our first celebrity saucy secret. Here we do.
Speaker 3 (03:19):
We've got Lily Jade from Ozzie Shaw. Now you've probably
heard of shows like Jersey Shaw or Jordie Shaw.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
It's kind of like remember what Big Brother up late
was like, It's like that, but on steroids.
Speaker 3 (03:34):
I'm still trying to figure out because I've seen quite
a few episodes of Ozsie Shaw. It's filmed up in cans.
It's all these twenty twenty year olds in a house.
Speaker 1 (03:46):
What they put to air. I don't know what the
laws are anymore that allows it.
Speaker 3 (03:53):
But our next guest, I've definitely seen her boink on
TV and I'm quietly proud of her.
Speaker 1 (03:59):
So welcome Lily Jade. Lily, you joined.
Speaker 3 (04:03):
Aussie Shaw for the first series. Uh, what's the wildest
thing you.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
Got up to?
Speaker 4 (04:09):
Honestly, I'm gonna have to say having sex on TV
because I've never done that before.
Speaker 3 (04:15):
You'd be surprised to know I've never done that before.
Have you ever done that?
Speaker 2 (04:18):
No? No, no, not on TV. Not yet, that's for sure.
Speaker 1 (04:21):
And what did you have your parents seen it? What
was the feedback?
Speaker 4 (04:26):
Yeah, well, my parents were watching it as soon as
it came out. My dad would even say at twelve
am when it would hit the clock. And I honestly
like my parents were like.
Speaker 5 (04:36):
All for it.
Speaker 4 (04:37):
They were so excited even if I was having sex.
But I don't know, I guess that's supported parents. So yeah,
I didn't really have an issue with them.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
I think amazing.
Speaker 3 (04:48):
But we love free love. So Lily, you've caught in
today with the saucy secret.
Speaker 1 (04:52):
What would you like to confess?
Speaker 4 (04:54):
Okay, so I hope they're not hearing if they are,
But I used to see and sleep with two best
friends at the same time, and they were like so close.
They would play footy together, so they were prettymuching each
other every day.
Speaker 1 (05:11):
And how did this come about? I don't know.
Speaker 4 (05:15):
I guess I started seeing one guy and then I
found out that his friends were hotter. I don't know,
it's really yeah, I kind of just like fell into
place like he was keen, so I literally so it
really wasn't my fault.
Speaker 3 (05:31):
And So, so you were dating one guy and then
you met his friend and thought he was hot.
Speaker 1 (05:36):
So did you slide into his DMS like.
Speaker 4 (05:39):
He put into mine?
Speaker 1 (05:41):
So dirty?
Speaker 3 (05:42):
Do? Yeah?
Speaker 4 (05:43):
Technically was it my fault? So I put it all
on on the rest of them?
Speaker 1 (05:48):
And do they now know that you were with both
of them at the same time?
Speaker 4 (05:53):
They still don't know, so I think I'm I'm really
proud of myself that I've kept it for so long.
I don't know how they have not found out. When
you play footage together, you're going to talk and you know,
chat shit. But apparently that just wasn't important enough, so
I got away with it.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
How long did this go on for when you were
when you were seeing both of these best I'm.
Speaker 4 (06:14):
Going to say like maybe just six months, So it
was definitely like a.
Speaker 3 (06:18):
Long time and they never see men are so different
to women. I will be on the group chat as
I'm leaving the guy's house, letting them know what I
just got up to.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
Like were you were you sending both blokes like you know,
saucy picks? Was their stuff sitting on both phones? There
was every chance for this to be you know, exposed,
but it never was.
Speaker 4 (06:43):
Yeah, look, there would be times where I'd get a
phone call from one, I would be with one, but
they were lucky. You were never ever near my phone,
so I just like turned it over or just like
you know, ply like hanged up the phone call.
Speaker 3 (06:55):
This might be a bit of a gross question, but
did you ever see both of them in the same day?
Speaker 1 (07:02):
No?
Speaker 4 (07:02):
I didn't. I thought I would cut of some slack
because I thought that was a bit too far. But
I mean if I did that. If I did, I
probably wouldn't be surprised by myself.
Speaker 2 (07:12):
But no, Obviously the first bloke had no idea this
was going on. He had no idea he was sleeping
with his best man. But the best mate he knew
did so he knew that you were sleeping with the
original dude.
Speaker 4 (07:26):
Yeah, yeah, he knew. And I will say the second
one was better.
Speaker 2 (07:30):
Did you feel Do you feel bad at all when
this was going on?
Speaker 4 (07:33):
I had no way. They're people, were dogs.
Speaker 3 (07:37):
They don't care footy boys. So how did it all end?
Why are you not sleeping with either of them?
Speaker 1 (07:42):
Now?
Speaker 2 (07:44):
And did?
Speaker 4 (07:44):
Because I think I caught feelings for the second one,
and then I got jealous because he like started seeing
someone else. So he played me. He played me in
my own game.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
Oh a little bit of Calma, I know so, and.
Speaker 4 (08:00):
I was like, no, I'm done, So I just ended
it all.
Speaker 2 (08:04):
Have you have you ever thought about coming clean?
Speaker 4 (08:07):
Sometimes? And then I'm like, nah, fuck them.
Speaker 1 (08:12):
We were actually.
Speaker 4 (08:13):
Agreeing, honest, And even if I was to come clean,
I think I would just play dumb anyway and be like,
what are you talking about?
Speaker 3 (08:18):
Yeah, okay, we girls can get away with a lot
thanks to our assets. Well that's a cute secret. But
I've heard you've got an even crazier secret. So shall
we revisit that later in the show.
Speaker 4 (08:32):
H yeah we can. It's it's pretty out there.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
If you've got a saucy secret, something you've been sitting
on that you want to get off your chest. Oh
do we want to hear it? Just use your mic
on the free iHeart app to get it to us
now in your column every week for the Daily Mail. Essentially,
you're there to help the people. If they've got questions
about their dating, about their sex life, you're here to help.
Speaker 3 (08:56):
Yes, I'm basically an updated Dolly dot Com. Ah, Yes,
which was my favorite thing to read growing up. But
this is much more adult problems, and actually, in this
day and age, we've got more to worry about than
one of those creepy dog cameras. Now laying in a
bedroom because I got an email from a lady this
week who is completely freaked out, So let me read
(09:17):
it to you because it might freak you out as well. Technology,
So it says dear Janna. A few weeks ago, I
had a wild night out and ended up going home
with a gorgeous guy. Well done you, it's going well
so far. He was charming, we had great chemistry, and
one thing led to another. The only thing I thought
was a bit odd at the time was that he
kept his glasses on during the entire hook up.
Speaker 1 (09:39):
I figured it was just a quirky preference.
Speaker 2 (09:41):
Or we couldn't see that were bifocals.
Speaker 3 (09:44):
Fast forward to last week when I saw a post
online about metaglasses, the ones that can record video without
anyone noticing. Now I can't stop thinking about it. His
glasses looked just like that, and the idea that he
might have been filming us without my consent makes me
feel sick.
Speaker 1 (10:02):
Oh girl, I get it.
Speaker 3 (10:04):
She said, I don't have any way of contact him,
and I can't prove anything, but I can't get the
thought out of my head. How do I cope with
the paranoia? And is this a sign that casual hilcups
are just too risky now that technology can be used
against you.
Speaker 2 (10:19):
Yeah, that's that's dicey, and that is genuinely terrifying. It
feels like an episode of Black Mirror or something like that.
Speaker 1 (10:26):
It's a genuine fear and I totally get it.
Speaker 3 (10:29):
And when I first heard about metaglasses, that's straight to
where my mind went, because what are we have no
say over what gets filmed? But thankfully so I did
do a deep dive into it, and I thought, well,
what are the rules? And you know, are we going
to see a lot of people toning up on these
pawn sites that have absolutely no idea?
Speaker 2 (10:48):
And so these metaglasses, essentially they are they look like
regular sunglasses, they're like ray bands or whatever, but they've
got in built cameras in them that can record vision
clearly of whatever that person's looking at. And can they
record audio as well?
Speaker 3 (11:01):
Yes, so they record audio. They can take phone calls,
they can read out your text messages.
Speaker 1 (11:06):
They're connected to.
Speaker 3 (11:07):
Your iPhone, you can google things and it will tell
it back to you. They are in theory, they're amazing,
not in this setting, but not in this setting. And
a lot of people are using them for their Instagram videos.
They're doing point of view videos and things like that.
Now I understand why this girl is completely freaked out.
Speaker 1 (11:25):
Because I would be too. But I've got two good.
Speaker 3 (11:29):
Bits of information that I discovered that might put her
at ease. One, when you're if these metaglasses are filming you,
they actually have to have a light go off. Now
I don't know how many cocktails this girl had, because
after three Martinies, I might not notice the light. But
then I thought, well, surely the guy could put just
(11:50):
a bit of black tape over them. But then I
found a video and Apple have already thought about this,
And if you put anything over the light that goes
on when you're filming, it actually stops filming.
Speaker 1 (12:01):
They won't work at all.
Speaker 3 (12:03):
So have a think, did you see the light going off?
The other good news is it's deeply illegal in Australia,
so if it does pop up, these porn sites are
really onto.
Speaker 1 (12:16):
It these days.
Speaker 3 (12:17):
They've got the fear of the government, really have put
the fear of God in them.
Speaker 1 (12:20):
So if it does pop up online, one that.
Speaker 3 (12:23):
Man's going to jail because they're cracking down really hard
on these kinds of people. And two it will get
taken down really quickly. So with all this technology coming up,
we just need to be a little bit more aware,
I guess, is the thing. So we need to keep
an eye on who's wearing these glasses.
Speaker 1 (12:42):
Yeah, you know, there's one girl in New York who.
Speaker 3 (12:45):
Freaked out because her wax lady was wearing them while
she was giving her a Brazilian.
Speaker 2 (12:51):
On the job wax. And that's I'm assuming that's not
the most flattering angle either.
Speaker 1 (12:55):
Listen, it's not my business what I look like downe there. Yeah,
none of my business.
Speaker 3 (13:01):
But then a friend of mine, this actually happened to yesterday.
She's a botox lady. She's my botox lady, and she
said a guy came into their salon and he was
really strange and he was asking all the girls.
Speaker 1 (13:15):
It was a very weird pickup line.
Speaker 3 (13:17):
He was saying, I'm gay, My mom doesn't know I
need to take a girl on a date.
Speaker 1 (13:22):
Can one of you act as my date?
Speaker 3 (13:24):
It just happened that everyone in this botox clinic is
absolutely stunning. I called bas on him being gay, so
they all had a giggle and they were playing along
with him, and then my friend went, wait, are you
recording us?
Speaker 1 (13:38):
He was like, oh yeah, it's for a TikTok. Oh gross,
it's really gross. It was really gross. So I think
we just need to keep on our game.
Speaker 2 (13:48):
Band glasses in the bedroom, band glasses in the bed.
All the poor people that can't say they've got.
Speaker 1 (13:55):
Screwed, you're going to be having very fuzzy sex.
Speaker 5 (13:58):
Wow.
Speaker 3 (14:00):
MC, there's a new dating trend that's getting ugly blokes laid.
Hurrah hourrah for the ugly blokes. I'm so happy for them.
It's going off on TikTok. So let me explain what
it is.
Speaker 5 (14:12):
Well, the dating world can be full of tails that
end happily ever after, but that is not the case
with this new gen Z. Term shrekking refers to dating
someone who you're not really attracted to in the hope
that you will be treated better by this person in return.
Speaker 3 (14:28):
So Shrek was, let's be real, a five, Princess Fiona
was a ten, absolutely and look how well they worked out.
Speaker 2 (14:35):
So it's like dating down.
Speaker 1 (14:37):
Yeah, Yeah.
Speaker 3 (14:38):
Basically it's dating down, which is kind of something I've
been doing for a long time anywhere.
Speaker 1 (14:43):
I just didn't realize your type.
Speaker 3 (14:46):
Shrek's been my type for ages, and to be fair,
I do like a Scottish accent. But I think it's
really good for three reasons.
Speaker 1 (14:55):
One, it gives you back the power. So you've got
this beautiful puppy dog just following you around who.
Speaker 2 (15:00):
Just adores hold it over them because they know you're
the hot one in the relationship and they're going to
do whatever you tell them to do so they can
stay in that relationship with the ten out of ten yes.
Speaker 3 (15:11):
And when you've dated a guy who is a ten,
who is permanently looking around at his other options cheating,
knows he can get anyone in the room that stops
being exciting really quickly. So that's why I think a
lot of women are turning to shreps because they want
to be adored. And then the other reason I really
like it is because I like a dad bod. I
(15:33):
like someone to cuddle to. I don't like rolling over
the next morning and feeling a six pack because it
gets me really paranoid.
Speaker 2 (15:41):
So I can exhale as what you're saying, this is great.
I've been sucking in this entire video. Felt like I
had to be on my best behavior. All right, six packs,
get rid of them?
Speaker 3 (15:49):
No, do you know a lot of women agree with
me that we like a nice, snugly body to fall
asleep next.
Speaker 2 (15:55):
You're doing this show with you. It was a great idea.
I suddenly feel really good about myself. All right, So,
but does at work? Is this? Is this a dating
principle that's having success? I mean, I can understand if
you're the Shrek in this situation. Great, you're dating someone
that's far hotter than you that you might not normally
get the chance to date. But for the ten in
the relationship, that's dating down and surely there has to
(16:15):
be like some level of physical attraction.
Speaker 1 (16:17):
Right, yeah, you do. But do you know what I find?
A lot of men can get me.
Speaker 3 (16:23):
Not a lot of men, but men have got me
into bed genuinely because they're being nice, funny. It's like
you for me, weird things make guys attractive. If they
can make me laugh, I'm probably getting naked.
Speaker 2 (16:37):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (16:38):
But I did do a deep dive on this very
important topic, and I did discover that it's not working.
Speaker 1 (16:45):
So a lot of women.
Speaker 3 (16:47):
Took to TikTok and basically said that they did try
the shrekking, they did date guys below them, but then
these guys got really big egos.
Speaker 1 (16:56):
Oh yeah, so.
Speaker 2 (16:57):
They suddenly thought this is what.
Speaker 3 (16:59):
I can get, this is my standard now, and then
they started cheating.
Speaker 1 (17:03):
So you're kind of damned if you do your damned
if you don't.
Speaker 2 (17:06):
Can I can? I can I do? My shrecond person,
go on, what are you doing in my swamp?
Speaker 1 (17:13):
Stop it?
Speaker 3 (17:13):
You know?
Speaker 2 (17:14):
I like a Scottish saucy Secrets explain the plot of
Ossie Shaw for our listeners that have never seen it.
Speaker 3 (17:23):
Basically, they throw all these horny twenty something year olds
into a house and just hit record.
Speaker 2 (17:29):
They are well lubricated. It's probably the worst term to use,
but they are well lubricated, and everything is filmed.
Speaker 1 (17:35):
Yes, and it's just beautiful.
Speaker 3 (17:38):
I binge the whole series in one sitting, and I
felt it.
Speaker 1 (17:41):
I did feel a little bit dirty after it, but at.
Speaker 3 (17:44):
The same time, I was like, God, I really didn't
live my twenties as much.
Speaker 1 (17:48):
As I should have.
Speaker 3 (17:49):
But Lily Jay did, and she joins us for her
second saucy secret for the show.
Speaker 1 (17:55):
Lily, Welcome to the confessional booth. What happened?
Speaker 4 (17:59):
Thanks for having me again. Look, I want you guys
to prepare yourself because it is something out of the ordinary.
I used to sell feet pictures for money, good feet.
It was to the point where I wouldn't even use
my own feet.
Speaker 1 (18:18):
Ah, wow, you scammed people?
Speaker 4 (18:23):
Now pretty well?
Speaker 1 (18:24):
Here's the thing.
Speaker 3 (18:25):
My girlfriends and I, after a few cocktails, the conversation
will always happen, would you sell your feet online? And
the answer is always an overwhelming yes. You're not showing
your tatars, you're not showing your nether regions.
Speaker 1 (18:40):
It's feet. And if there's widows that want to, you know,
worship them, so be it.
Speaker 2 (18:44):
How did you get into it? How did you start
selling feat pictures on the internet?
Speaker 1 (18:48):
If I was to.
Speaker 3 (18:49):
Be interested in selling my feet, how would I go
about doing it?
Speaker 4 (18:53):
Well, look, there's all different websites for it these days,
but I'll be honest, I just used the good old
app called kick. If anyone remembers what that was, No, Oh,
it's like the oldest, like I guess messaging up they is.
It was used like back when everyone was like in
high school and primary school and now I guess all
(19:15):
the oldies love it. You're just joined group chats and
like everyone just talks about feet and then people will
reach out if they want it. And the way I
found out about this was through YouTube on how to
find money Quick.
Speaker 3 (19:30):
You literally googled how can I make money quick?
Speaker 1 (19:33):
And it came up with go and.
Speaker 3 (19:35):
Kick and sell your feet photos. Yeah, correct, yes, that's genius.
And how much were you making.
Speaker 1 (19:42):
From these photos?
Speaker 2 (19:42):
Like?
Speaker 1 (19:43):
What would one picture of your twitsies make you?
Speaker 2 (19:46):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (19:47):
Honestly, this Like there was one case where I was
just shocked. It wasn't even a photo of my own feet.
It was literally just a random photo off Google images
and I got paid seven hundred dollars for it. Wow,
And it wasn't even your feet and it wasn't even
my feet, and I was just so like, I was
so shocked. I was like, wow, like this this is
(20:08):
a lot of money.
Speaker 1 (20:09):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 3 (20:10):
See I know Lily Allen joined only fans and just
put up feet pick, but she started getting stressed out
because you take requests, so people would say, can you
send me a video of.
Speaker 1 (20:23):
You painting your toe? Nows.
Speaker 3 (20:24):
They started getting quite crazy, so she had to like
put her feet walking through sand or.
Speaker 1 (20:30):
Do you remember ghak? Like that gooey stuff. One guy
wanted her.
Speaker 3 (20:35):
I like ghak too, so she wanted one guy wanted
her to like squish hit her toes through.
Speaker 2 (20:41):
It makes that weird fart sound? Is it popping bubbles?
Speaker 3 (20:44):
Do you feel weird knowing that guys were like pleasuring
themselves to your feet?
Speaker 4 (20:51):
No, because when I was seen that money come through,
I didn't care.
Speaker 2 (20:55):
Yeah, dollar dollar bills, y'all?
Speaker 1 (20:57):
Seven? Oh my god?
Speaker 3 (20:59):
Well, I know Lily Allen was making more of her
only fans feet pictures than she was from Spotify her
songs on Spotify, So there is money to be made.
Speaker 2 (21:09):
If someone is looking to set up a side hustle
and thinking, you know what, my toes aren't too bad
in your opinion, Lily Jade, what makes the perfect foot pick?
Speaker 1 (21:19):
Great question?
Speaker 4 (21:20):
Oh, I'm gonna have to say, you're gonna need some.
You want to wipe down the bottoms of your feet,
just get make sure it's clean on the bottom. And honestly,
they love white toenail polish.
Speaker 1 (21:32):
White would be a red.
Speaker 4 (21:34):
But not a color like just white. I think that
like white's like purity or like clean. So oh, I
always wanted white toenails.
Speaker 1 (21:45):
That is so weird.
Speaker 3 (21:47):
Now I have really ugly feet, like I have good toes.
I heard there's more of a market in ugly toes
than there is in perfect.
Speaker 1 (21:56):
Little pinkies like you know, little little ke toes.
Speaker 4 (22:00):
There is like I don't know what it is, but
they like nice looking toes.
Speaker 2 (22:05):
Look, look, breaking news. There are creeps on the internet,
just in case you were aware. Now, Ossie Shaw, there's
a second season that's that's about to hit.
Speaker 4 (22:12):
Absolutely, it's literally coming out like next week.
Speaker 1 (22:15):
And what can we expect?
Speaker 3 (22:16):
Did you have to sit your parents down and give
them a bit of air heads up that there was
some crazy stuff happening.
Speaker 4 (22:22):
Look, it definitely is crazy, But I don't tell anyone
the goss. I'll just say wait till it comes out,
to be honest. It's definitely a lot more than last year,
That's all I'll say.
Speaker 2 (22:33):
And we saw a lot.
Speaker 1 (22:36):
We can't a lot of nudity.
Speaker 2 (22:38):
Can't wait to see you can't wait to see your
toes with your white polish our Season two of Oozsi
Short's going to kick off soon, and thank you so
much for stepping inside the confessional booth with us on
the show tonight.
Speaker 3 (22:47):
Lily Jay, thank you, and if anyone wants me to
send them them some footpicks for seven hundred dollars, it's
not a no sure now MC one of our listeners
actually slid into my this week, not with a dick pic.
Speaker 1 (23:02):
Hurrah, something different.
Speaker 3 (23:05):
He had a saucy secret dilemma, it says, Dear Janna.
I never thought I'd be writing to a sex columnist,
but here I am. My wife has been gently and
not so gently, pushing me to go with her to
a swingers club. She says it's all about spicing things
up and exploring together. But I'll be honest, I'm nervous
as hell.
Speaker 1 (23:25):
Fair Court.
Speaker 3 (23:26):
Here's the thing between you and me, well between all
of us. I'm not exactly packing porn style proportions in
the downstairs department. It's fine, it does the job, but
I've always been a bit self conscious. The thought of
walking into a room full of strangers where everyone seems tall,
tan toned, and in my head hung like stallions makes
(23:46):
me want to break out into a cold sweat. All
this polhi, my wife insists these places are more about
connection and fun than looks or size. But part of
me is terrified I'll be standing there like the awkward
kid at the school dance, holding my drink while everyone
else gets chosen. What if she sees some chiseled adonis
and suddenly realize she's been short changed at home. I
(24:10):
love her and I don't want my insecurities to hold
her back, but I can't shake this feeling that if
I say yes, I'm opening Pandora's box and might never
feel enough again.
Speaker 2 (24:19):
So what do you reckon?
Speaker 3 (24:22):
I get that he's freaked out because she has taken
it to a tent, spicing up the bedroom.
Speaker 1 (24:29):
It's not normal.
Speaker 3 (24:31):
Maybe they've been having vanilla sex, but to say let's
go to a swingers is pretty full on. I would
suggest maybe toys. Start with a few toys.
Speaker 2 (24:42):
From the good people at Juju. They've got a wonderful
range that you could start with.
Speaker 3 (24:48):
And if you're worried about the size of your pecker,
there's a special.
Speaker 1 (24:52):
Thing called a ring. Sorry, it's called a ring.
Speaker 3 (24:57):
It vibrates, and a lot of men with small ones
put them over there. It's like my or ring, but
you put it over your male part and it actually
makes it bigger, really vibrates, so the woman gets it's
like you've turned your pecker into a vibrator.
Speaker 2 (25:15):
It's how you use it.
Speaker 1 (25:16):
It's how you use it.
Speaker 3 (25:17):
So there's some toys that you can incorporate into the
bedroom if you want to start spicing things up. I
think she's very fair to say I want to try
new things. Another option could be that you could, you know,
maybe start watching some pawn that involves swinger parties, get
an idea for what you could expect there.
Speaker 1 (25:39):
There's also these parties in Australia.
Speaker 3 (25:41):
It's called the Kitty Cat Club and it's a very
very tame swingers. So basically it's just people turning up
to a nightclub in sexy underwear and guys, if you're
a bit worried about your body, you can wear like
a silk like a manly silk robe, and the women
can turn up in the underwear and it's just a dance.
Speaker 2 (26:02):
Pit, so just look but don't touch.
Speaker 3 (26:03):
Using exactly, but they have things like shabari ropes, which
we know I'm a fan of. So they'll have demonstrations
but you're not taking part and no one's hooking up
in front of each other, So that could be a
good entry way.
Speaker 2 (26:15):
And look as lame as it sounds. Just talk to
your partner about it, you know what I mean.
Speaker 3 (26:20):
And if you're worried about the size, can I just
say I've learned from experience that it's not about the size.
It's the motion in the ocean as long as you
know how to use it.
Speaker 1 (26:31):
We women are fine.
Speaker 3 (26:32):
We don't want a big, scary one. I've said it
once and I'll say it again. We don't want a big,
scary one. We want a nice, normal one that doesn't
involve breathing exercises to have sex with you. But yeah,
she has taken it to a tenant, and I totally
get where he's coming from.
Speaker 2 (26:49):
It would be really nerve wracking. Let's forget the fact
that he said he's got a little toddra. Essentially, you
don't know what you're going to walk into. What if
you go into this room and these people are as
he wrote Adonis's and she looks at something else and goes, oh,
hang on a minute, this is actually where I want
to be playing, not with Wat's at home.
Speaker 1 (27:09):
It's a genuine fear.
Speaker 3 (27:11):
But I've been to one of these swingers parties. In fact,
I flew the hallway to London to go to a
high end swingers party.
Speaker 2 (27:19):
You went to London to attend a high end swingers party.
Speaker 1 (27:24):
I did.
Speaker 3 (27:25):
I was on assignment. Surprisingly, this wasn't just for fun.
Although listen, it's not a hard name.
Speaker 2 (27:31):
The ring box must be incredible.
Speaker 3 (27:33):
It's the best I love hearing. Do you want to
go to London to attend a high end swingers club?
The answer will always be yes, And so I did.
I scuttled over there and I met the owner of
Killing Kittens. Sorry, so it's called Killing Kittens because of
this saying every time you masturbate, God kills the kitten.
Speaker 2 (27:54):
That's the most unsexy name for a swingers club. I
think I ever heard in all my life.
Speaker 1 (27:58):
The worst name for a sex club.
Speaker 2 (28:01):
So I'm assuming, like you say, it's this high end
swingers party, I'm guessing it's in like this really old
world enchanting vintage fancy building like we'd see in Bridgington.
Speaker 1 (28:14):
Right, So normally it is.
Speaker 3 (28:15):
And this is why Killing Kittens became famous because the
rules were you had to have a lot of money.
Speaker 1 (28:21):
Well, the men had to have a lot of money.
Speaker 3 (28:22):
Back in the day, if a man wanted to go,
he had to show his bank account cents. So you
had to be a millionaire to attend one of these parties.
So they were being held in castles and French chateaus.
They're all around the world. They hold them in Paris, London.
Started in London, New York. They go everywhere and they'll
(28:43):
hire out beautiful penthouses or castles and things.
Speaker 1 (28:46):
I got jukes. I did not get a fancy castle.
This party was called Hedonism.
Speaker 3 (28:53):
And it was in Soho, which is a nice part
of London, but it was in a men's.
Speaker 1 (28:59):
Sph that's grim it was. It was kind of gross.
Speaker 3 (29:03):
The first smell that hit me was chlorine because they
had this big, giant spar kind of like you know
the Plagueboy mansion, the grotto.
Speaker 1 (29:13):
Which was no I never watched Girls of the Play.
Speaker 2 (29:17):
Or is it like a big communal pool or something.
Speaker 3 (29:19):
Wasn't exactly, but in here it was just this really
big spa that anyone was allowed to go in. But
it meant as soon as you walked into this men's spa,
you were just hit with this overpowering Nothing.
Speaker 2 (29:30):
Gets you in the mood like strong chemicals.
Speaker 3 (29:33):
It was not cute, and I had it'd been sold
to me like it's you know, female run, You're going
to see beautiful candles and there's going to be gorgeous chandelier. No,
it was a dirty, bubbling hot tub and chlorine.
Speaker 2 (29:48):
So before you even rocked up to the event and
obviously disappointed by what greeted you, what was going through
your mind?
Speaker 1 (29:55):
I was petrified. So I dragged one of my best
friends with.
Speaker 2 (29:58):
Imagine, but, hey, what do you do on Saturday? Nothing?
All great? Want to come to a swingers party with me?
Speaker 3 (30:04):
Yeah, that's kind of She flew from New York. You
need to pick the right person to attend a swing
yes with, and she was She's the kind of girl
that would have a good time. So she literally jumped
on a plane and met me over in London.
Speaker 1 (30:17):
And I was petrified. I'm not gonna lie.
Speaker 3 (30:20):
I have never had a threesome, so I've never seen
other people have sex in front of me, apart from
myself and the person. So I was really going into
this whole new world. I did have two rosees before
I got in there. I think that's a requirement if
you're going to attend a swingers hats off to anyone
(30:40):
that can go in stone cold sober. I had some
roses and then we were greeted at the door and
handed these lace face masks. So we were told you
have to wear a mask. Yep, sexy lace mask. A
lot of people brought their own, fabulously flamboyant.
Speaker 2 (30:57):
Is that just to kind of protect your identity in
a way or is it to make its mysterious.
Speaker 3 (31:02):
It's supposed to be sexy. It's like eyes wide shut
kind of vibes. Everyone turns up, so you're told to
turn up in cocktail where so I bought the most
beautiful cocked black cocktail dress. But they don't stay on long, okay,
So basically everyone meets out the front and there's a
long line of What surprised me most was they were
(31:25):
middle aged, rich.
Speaker 2 (31:26):
People, because that was my next question, who are the
other people that are attending.
Speaker 3 (31:30):
These Yeah, it was very normal looking middle aged people.
It was a lot of husband and wives who had
brought their girlfriend. Okay, so that apparently is really normal
in these circles.
Speaker 2 (31:44):
Did you feel as though from the outset that you're
lining up, I would imagine the small talk was just bizarre.
Did you almost feel as though you were on display
or being judged because everyone's kind of looking at everyone else,
going who's the person that we want to approach.
Speaker 3 (31:57):
Inside, Well, a lot of them had already preset that up,
so they actually have a WhatsApp group.
Speaker 1 (32:02):
Of course I didn't get this memo, but they have
a WhatsApp group.
Speaker 3 (32:05):
So everyone who's attending that party, they can all see
each other, they all send pictures, they can already decide
who they're going to sleep with that night before they
even get there.
Speaker 1 (32:14):
You can change your mind because it's a bit like Tinder.
Speaker 3 (32:17):
You know, maybe they don't look like what they look
like on the WhatsApp group, but yeah, it's everyone's Most
people had been to a few so I was one
of the only rookies.
Speaker 2 (32:27):
The newbies in the corner.
Speaker 1 (32:29):
I was the newbie.
Speaker 3 (32:30):
And so you all walk in and everyone goes straight
to the bar for a drink. Behind the bar is
all these TV screens that's playing porn. So straight away
you'll like, make no mistake, there will be sex tonight,
and we're going to just warm you up with a
bit and it's like aggressive pawn.
Speaker 1 (32:49):
It's like bam bam, bamas. I was like, all right,
well we're in.
Speaker 2 (32:53):
Where's the high end part of this? When does that start?
Speaker 1 (32:55):
The high class part is the fact that they are
all rich.
Speaker 3 (33:00):
It's expensive to get in. There was a billionaire. The
owner MSL told me that Shane Warne was a regular,
which didn't surprise me really, but that's where the high
end ends. Yes, so basically everyone goes in, they have
a drink. The menu surprised me again, So you've got
(33:22):
porn playing in the background. Food I didn't see much food,
but I think because everyone they were getting naked.
Speaker 1 (33:29):
Yeah, so you're not going to eat a bit dirty
burger before you before you get nude.
Speaker 3 (33:35):
But on the menu there was a blue pill option
I thought was probably handy or.
Speaker 1 (33:43):
An event like this. And then they.
Speaker 3 (33:46):
All started dispersing to the locker rooms and I was like,
why where is everyone going? But then they all came
back either naked or in just really sexy laundry.
Speaker 1 (33:56):
But I was just told to wear a cocktail dress.
Speaker 3 (33:59):
So I just walked around in my stupid cocktail dress
because I wasn't getting naked.
Speaker 1 (34:03):
Straight up.
Speaker 3 (34:04):
This is my first swingers and so I was the
most overdressed person at the party.
Speaker 2 (34:10):
You'd be the uncool person at the swingers party. Or
look at her over there, the loser in clothes.
Speaker 3 (34:15):
Why is she so overdressed? It was so it was
it was actually mortifying. My friend had no issues. She's like, what,
everyone's getting naked? All right, don't naked? So she got naked.
Everyone either got naked or stripped down.
Speaker 2 (34:29):
Yep.
Speaker 1 (34:30):
And then the music's playing.
Speaker 2 (34:33):
What kind of music out of curiosity, like saxophone violins.
Speaker 3 (34:37):
House music, like sexy house music. I did start chizamming
in the corner because the music was really good. So
like everyone's like getting it on and I'm sitting therezaming.
Speaker 2 (34:48):
So are people like it's is it a big open room?
Are there small rooms off to the side. Is it
literally happening in front of you on like a big
couch as though it's an episode of fifty Shades of Gray?
Where and what's happening? And how much you've seen?
Speaker 3 (35:01):
Okay, So after about twenty minutes of how are you good?
Speaker 1 (35:05):
Yes, how's the good kids?
Speaker 3 (35:07):
Yes, they're fine, thank you, everyone does start dispersing. So
there are smaller rooms, but there's no doors on the rooms,
so you can go into a smaller room and start
making out, or you can hop in the big spa,
and a lot of people did go to the spa area.
So you're either in the rooms or you're in the spa,
(35:28):
or there is areas where you can just sit and
have a drink.
Speaker 1 (35:31):
Which is where I was for a bit of it.
But it does get wild.
Speaker 3 (35:34):
So in the spa a lot of people were like
the man was sitting on the edge of the pool
and the woman was providing a special favor, if you will,
So they were they were getting herd jobs, I.
Speaker 1 (35:53):
Don't know how else to say it, or there.
Speaker 2 (35:55):
Was she was living her supper and it was hot
dogs on the menu.
Speaker 1 (35:58):
She was dining out.
Speaker 3 (36:00):
A lot of women were dining out on each other, okay,
so and a lot of the men were sitting back.
Speaker 2 (36:04):
It's a buffet type situation watching.
Speaker 3 (36:07):
Yes, the women have a jolly good time together, yep.
And then in the smaller rooms that.
Speaker 1 (36:14):
Was more like wam bam, thank you ma'am getting it on.
Speaker 2 (36:17):
So while this is happening, were you a approach to
take part in any of these activities and b was
the any part of you that went, oh, I don't
mind the look at that one over there. Why not?
Speaker 3 (36:30):
So the rule with most swingers, and certainly this swingers
is that women have to make the first move right,
so it stops it from being creepy.
Speaker 1 (36:41):
The men are just happy.
Speaker 2 (36:42):
Oh, there's nothing creepy about house music and pawn on
TVs and people going to town on each other in
a communal spa. That's not creepy in the slot.
Speaker 1 (36:50):
But if you're there, you're aware that's going to happen.
I didn't realize like the porn.
Speaker 3 (36:55):
Weirdly, the pawn shocked me the most because it was
from the get go, so it was like, make no mistakes,
you're here for sex. But no, it's actually so polite,
which also surprised me.
Speaker 1 (37:05):
It's very A girl.
Speaker 3 (37:07):
Might come up and talk to you with her husband.
She'll introduce you to the husband. So I had a
few couples that.
Speaker 2 (37:12):
Happened and they go, hey, did you want to come over?
Speaker 1 (37:16):
I think I.
Speaker 3 (37:16):
Was really giving vibes, and especially as soon as I
told them I'm a writer for the Daily Matterage.
Speaker 2 (37:21):
No thank you so much, no, no, no, no, thank you
so much.
Speaker 3 (37:24):
And the fact that I was wearing a cocktail dress
was giving listen I'm just here to observe. My best
friend really got into it, so she did meet a
special lad.
Speaker 2 (37:36):
She understood the brief, she.
Speaker 3 (37:38):
Got the brief, she got the brief, so she had
a great time. But then that was kind of daunting
because I was walking around looking in all the rooms
and I did catch a glimpse of her, and I
was like, I'm happy to watch anyone else, I don't
want to see my best friend going at it. But
she had a wonderful time. But I actually got bored.
There was so much sex. There was so much nudity
(38:03):
that I in the end just was like, Okay, I've
seen enough sex. It didn't tell me on because it
was like watching your mom and dad have sex.
Speaker 2 (38:09):
So on the show last week, we talked about you
going to an orgasm retreat in the California desert, and
you were the only person at the orgasm retreat that
didn't reach the finish line. You were the only person
in the swingers club that didn't swing.
Speaker 1 (38:23):
I was the only person one.
Speaker 3 (38:24):
I was the only person overdressed, still in their cocktail dress,
and I was the only person that.
Speaker 1 (38:29):
Didn't have sex.
Speaker 2 (38:30):
And just like that, we have reached the end of
yet another Saucy Secrets, and I don't think the feed
was cut. I don't think the plug was pulled.
Speaker 3 (38:39):
I think listen, we could just be talking to each
other right now. That's true, but we're getting a thumbs
up from the producer. So yes, we have finished.
Speaker 2 (38:46):
I'll tell you what hanging out with you and your life.
It's educational, it's surprising, it is eye opening, it is
all of that and so much more.
Speaker 1 (38:56):
Well, it's interesting.
Speaker 3 (38:57):
I'm so glad you're here, because you really are. Nothing
shocks me anymore. So be at a dinner party and
tell a story and then be met with shocked faces
and go, oh yeah, that is a bit naughty. So
I appreciate your open mindness, my vanilla neness.
Speaker 2 (39:12):
Everything you say is shocking to me.
Speaker 1 (39:14):
Fact that you lean in and want to know more.
Speaker 2 (39:16):
Thank you so much. Look, there is a closet perv
in all of us, right, I think, so well with
it down, insight.
Speaker 3 (39:21):
If you've got to the end of this show and welcome,
welcome you to the game.
Speaker 2 (39:25):
By the way, you've been listening to Saucy Secrets, and
you've got something, something you've seen, something you've heard something.
Maybe you've done.
Speaker 3 (39:35):
Tell Us, maybe you're hearing this on Sunday night and
you've just had the most debauchuous weekend of your life.
Speaker 1 (39:41):
Tell Us, we want to know.
Speaker 2 (39:42):
Yes, safe space ish, we can keep you anonymous, but
we want the gory details. So obviously you know the
iHeart app, which is on your phone. It's free if
it's not downloaded. There's a section there with a little
microphone where you can just tell us your saucy secret.
So jump on there, do that. It has been a pleasure,
it's been fun. Shall we do it again next week?
Speaker 1 (40:03):
I think so. I think so. Listen.
Speaker 3 (40:05):
I don't know what we're going to talk about next
week that it's going to be raunchy, so secret
Susy secrets.
Speaker 2 (00:01):
To be honest, I wasn't sure if this was even
gonna happen. I wasn't sure if we would get a
week too. But here we are Week two. We are back.
This is saucy secrets on Kiss the Confessional Booth you
didn't know you needed with your no filter sex and
dating columnist Janna Hocking. Oh thanks to Juju. Janna, Hello, Hello.
Speaker 3 (00:19):
It's so nice to see you again. I was worried too,
especially when I logged onto YouTube.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
Because this is being streamed on YouTube as well, so
you can watch.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
You can, but for one hot second you couldn't watch.
And we were given.
Speaker 3 (00:30):
A heads up last week. Listen, it's pretty saucy. Let's
see how long it stays up on YouTube.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
And so I logged on. It was there. I logged
on the next day it was not there.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
But it's back.
Speaker 3 (00:41):
But it's back, and they thankfully.
Speaker 1 (00:43):
Put it back up.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
And look, there is every chance that the YouTube stream
this week could be interrupted. I'm looking at the runsheet
er up. I'm just gonna read what it says. Yeah,
Janah went to a swingers club in London.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
I did check. It was insane.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
Your world like your world and my world could not
be more different.
Speaker 3 (01:01):
This is my job and I take it very seriously.
There are no lengths I won't go to. If someone
wants to know what a swingers club is, like, I'll
travel there and tell them I'm just.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
Picturing, you know, like when you catch up with your
quote unquote normal mates and you haven't a yap about
what do you get up to this week? You know,
gazz oh, you know, Gazz is a mechanic, and Gazz
oh you know, I fixed a Toyota Corolla and blah
blah bah, And then it gets to you, what do
you get up to this week? Oh, flew to London,
went to a swingers club, normal stuff.
Speaker 3 (01:29):
My favorite thing is going what can I write about next?
And typing into Google what crazy sex shit is going on,
and then asking my editor if I can go.
Speaker 1 (01:38):
Check it out.
Speaker 2 (01:38):
So we will talk about Janna's time inside a London
swingers club that's coming up a little later on. And
there's this dating trend that's helping ugly dudes.
Speaker 3 (01:47):
It's called tracking, and it's yeah, it's letting ugly dudes
get laid.
Speaker 1 (01:52):
So got a good news yeah for this.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
Week and this whole journey that you're now on. I'm
going to put it out their Australia's premiere Sex and
Dating Collness. It's not the world because you're writing for
publications everywhere.
Speaker 3 (02:07):
I write for Daily Mail US UK and Australia.
Speaker 2 (02:11):
I'm sure if the colonies on Mars are looking for
a sex colonists, they're going to look your way. It
makes complete sense. But you kind of started this journey,
I suppose just saying to people, Hey, have you got
something juicy that you've got up to? Do you want
to tell me about it?
Speaker 1 (02:26):
Yeah? It was a quiet night during lockdown.
Speaker 3 (02:30):
I was bored. I'm a bit of a perv. I
wanted to know what people were getting up to in
the bed.
Speaker 2 (02:36):
I don't think that's shocking anyone, to be honest.
Speaker 1 (02:39):
How did you get your job?
Speaker 3 (02:40):
Well, I'm a bit of a perv and you know
I'm a journalist, So I asked people to tell me
their sauces secrets and they really did.
Speaker 2 (02:49):
Next, we have a confessional from an Australian TV star.
Speaker 1 (02:54):
Yes, she's famous for boinking on TV.
Speaker 2 (02:58):
But she's been I guess. Pointing two people that share
a very close relationship and they don't know about it.
Speaker 1 (03:05):
I'm so excited to hear her saucy secret.
Speaker 2 (03:07):
Who is this Australian TV star or get to it
next saucy Secrets on Kiss. Wow, it's only week two
and we've got our first celebrity saucy secret. Here we do.
Speaker 3 (03:19):
We've got Lily Jade from Ozzie Shaw. Now you've probably
heard of shows like Jersey Shaw or Jordie Shaw.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
It's kind of like remember what Big Brother up late
was like, It's like that, but on steroids.
Speaker 3 (03:34):
I'm still trying to figure out because I've seen quite
a few episodes of Ozsie Shaw. It's filmed up in cans.
It's all these twenty twenty year olds in a house.
Speaker 1 (03:46):
What they put to air. I don't know what the
laws are anymore that allows it.
Speaker 3 (03:53):
But our next guest, I've definitely seen her boink on
TV and I'm quietly proud of her.
Speaker 1 (03:59):
So welcome Lily Jade. Lily, you joined.
Speaker 3 (04:03):
Aussie Shaw for the first series. Uh, what's the wildest
thing you.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
Got up to?
Speaker 4 (04:09):
Honestly, I'm gonna have to say having sex on TV
because I've never done that before.
Speaker 3 (04:15):
You'd be surprised to know I've never done that before.
Have you ever done that?
Speaker 2 (04:18):
No? No, no, not on TV. Not yet, that's for sure.
Speaker 1 (04:21):
And what did you have your parents seen it? What
was the feedback?
Speaker 4 (04:26):
Yeah, well, my parents were watching it as soon as
it came out. My dad would even say at twelve
am when it would hit the clock. And I honestly
like my parents were like.
Speaker 5 (04:36):
All for it.
Speaker 4 (04:37):
They were so excited even if I was having sex.
But I don't know, I guess that's supported parents. So yeah,
I didn't really have an issue with them.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
I think amazing.
Speaker 3 (04:48):
But we love free love. So Lily, you've caught in
today with the saucy secret.
Speaker 1 (04:52):
What would you like to confess?
Speaker 4 (04:54):
Okay, so I hope they're not hearing if they are,
But I used to see and sleep with two best
friends at the same time, and they were like so close.
They would play footy together, so they were prettymuching each
other every day.
Speaker 1 (05:11):
And how did this come about? I don't know.
Speaker 4 (05:15):
I guess I started seeing one guy and then I
found out that his friends were hotter. I don't know,
it's really yeah, I kind of just like fell into
place like he was keen, so I literally so it
really wasn't my fault.
Speaker 3 (05:31):
And So, so you were dating one guy and then
you met his friend and thought he was hot.
Speaker 1 (05:36):
So did you slide into his DMS like.
Speaker 4 (05:39):
He put into mine?
Speaker 1 (05:41):
So dirty?
Speaker 3 (05:42):
Do? Yeah?
Speaker 4 (05:43):
Technically was it my fault? So I put it all
on on the rest of them?
Speaker 1 (05:48):
And do they now know that you were with both
of them at the same time?
Speaker 4 (05:53):
They still don't know, so I think I'm I'm really
proud of myself that I've kept it for so long.
I don't know how they have not found out. When
you play footage together, you're going to talk and you know,
chat shit. But apparently that just wasn't important enough, so
I got away with it.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
How long did this go on for when you were
when you were seeing both of these best I'm.
Speaker 4 (06:14):
Going to say like maybe just six months, So it
was definitely like a.
Speaker 3 (06:18):
Long time and they never see men are so different
to women. I will be on the group chat as
I'm leaving the guy's house, letting them know what I
just got up to.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
Like were you were you sending both blokes like you know,
saucy picks? Was their stuff sitting on both phones? There
was every chance for this to be you know, exposed,
but it never was.
Speaker 4 (06:43):
Yeah, look, there would be times where I'd get a
phone call from one, I would be with one, but
they were lucky. You were never ever near my phone,
so I just like turned it over or just like
you know, ply like hanged up the phone call.
Speaker 3 (06:55):
This might be a bit of a gross question, but
did you ever see both of them in the same day?
Speaker 1 (07:02):
No?
Speaker 4 (07:02):
I didn't. I thought I would cut of some slack
because I thought that was a bit too far. But
I mean if I did that. If I did, I
probably wouldn't be surprised by myself.
Speaker 2 (07:12):
But no, Obviously the first bloke had no idea this
was going on. He had no idea he was sleeping
with his best man. But the best mate he knew
did so he knew that you were sleeping with the
original dude.
Speaker 4 (07:26):
Yeah, yeah, he knew. And I will say the second
one was better.
Speaker 2 (07:30):
Did you feel Do you feel bad at all when
this was going on?
Speaker 4 (07:33):
I had no way. They're people, were dogs.
Speaker 3 (07:37):
They don't care footy boys. So how did it all end?
Why are you not sleeping with either of them?
Speaker 1 (07:42):
Now?
Speaker 2 (07:44):
And did?
Speaker 4 (07:44):
Because I think I caught feelings for the second one,
and then I got jealous because he like started seeing
someone else. So he played me. He played me in
my own game.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
Oh a little bit of Calma, I know so, and.
Speaker 4 (08:00):
I was like, no, I'm done, So I just ended
it all.
Speaker 2 (08:04):
Have you have you ever thought about coming clean?
Speaker 4 (08:07):
Sometimes? And then I'm like, nah, fuck them.
Speaker 1 (08:12):
We were actually.
Speaker 4 (08:13):
Agreeing, honest, And even if I was to come clean,
I think I would just play dumb anyway and be like,
what are you talking about?
Speaker 3 (08:18):
Yeah, okay, we girls can get away with a lot
thanks to our assets. Well that's a cute secret. But
I've heard you've got an even crazier secret. So shall
we revisit that later in the show.
Speaker 4 (08:32):
H yeah we can. It's it's pretty out there.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
If you've got a saucy secret, something you've been sitting
on that you want to get off your chest. Oh
do we want to hear it? Just use your mic
on the free iHeart app to get it to us
now in your column every week for the Daily Mail. Essentially,
you're there to help the people. If they've got questions
about their dating, about their sex life, you're here to help.
Speaker 3 (08:56):
Yes, I'm basically an updated Dolly dot Com. Ah, Yes,
which was my favorite thing to read growing up. But
this is much more adult problems, and actually, in this
day and age, we've got more to worry about than
one of those creepy dog cameras. Now laying in a
bedroom because I got an email from a lady this
week who is completely freaked out, So let me read
(09:17):
it to you because it might freak you out as well. Technology,
So it says dear Janna. A few weeks ago, I
had a wild night out and ended up going home
with a gorgeous guy. Well done you, it's going well
so far. He was charming, we had great chemistry, and
one thing led to another. The only thing I thought
was a bit odd at the time was that he
kept his glasses on during the entire hook up.
Speaker 1 (09:39):
I figured it was just a quirky preference.
Speaker 2 (09:41):
Or we couldn't see that were bifocals.
Speaker 3 (09:44):
Fast forward to last week when I saw a post
online about metaglasses, the ones that can record video without
anyone noticing. Now I can't stop thinking about it. His
glasses looked just like that, and the idea that he
might have been filming us without my consent makes me
feel sick.
Speaker 1 (10:02):
Oh girl, I get it.
Speaker 3 (10:04):
She said, I don't have any way of contact him,
and I can't prove anything, but I can't get the
thought out of my head. How do I cope with
the paranoia? And is this a sign that casual hilcups
are just too risky now that technology can be used
against you.
Speaker 2 (10:19):
Yeah, that's that's dicey, and that is genuinely terrifying. It
feels like an episode of Black Mirror or something like that.
Speaker 1 (10:26):
It's a genuine fear and I totally get it.
Speaker 3 (10:29):
And when I first heard about metaglasses, that's straight to
where my mind went, because what are we have no
say over what gets filmed? But thankfully so I did
do a deep dive into it, and I thought, well,
what are the rules? And you know, are we going
to see a lot of people toning up on these
pawn sites that have absolutely no idea?
Speaker 2 (10:48):
And so these metaglasses, essentially they are they look like
regular sunglasses, they're like ray bands or whatever, but they've
got in built cameras in them that can record vision
clearly of whatever that person's looking at. And can they
record audio as well?
Speaker 3 (11:01):
Yes, so they record audio. They can take phone calls,
they can read out your text messages.
Speaker 1 (11:06):
They're connected to.
Speaker 3 (11:07):
Your iPhone, you can google things and it will tell
it back to you. They are in theory, they're amazing,
not in this setting, but not in this setting. And
a lot of people are using them for their Instagram videos.
They're doing point of view videos and things like that.
Now I understand why this girl is completely freaked out.
Speaker 1 (11:25):
Because I would be too. But I've got two good.
Speaker 3 (11:29):
Bits of information that I discovered that might put her
at ease. One, when you're if these metaglasses are filming you,
they actually have to have a light go off. Now
I don't know how many cocktails this girl had, because
after three Martinies, I might not notice the light. But
then I thought, well, surely the guy could put just
(11:50):
a bit of black tape over them. But then I
found a video and Apple have already thought about this,
And if you put anything over the light that goes
on when you're filming, it actually stops filming.
Speaker 1 (12:01):
They won't work at all.
Speaker 3 (12:03):
So have a think, did you see the light going off?
The other good news is it's deeply illegal in Australia,
so if it does pop up, these porn sites are
really onto.
Speaker 1 (12:16):
It these days.
Speaker 3 (12:17):
They've got the fear of the government, really have put
the fear of God in them.
Speaker 1 (12:20):
So if it does pop up online, one that.
Speaker 3 (12:23):
Man's going to jail because they're cracking down really hard
on these kinds of people. And two it will get
taken down really quickly. So with all this technology coming up,
we just need to be a little bit more aware,
I guess, is the thing. So we need to keep
an eye on who's wearing these glasses.
Speaker 1 (12:42):
Yeah, you know, there's one girl in New York who.
Speaker 3 (12:45):
Freaked out because her wax lady was wearing them while
she was giving her a Brazilian.
Speaker 2 (12:51):
On the job wax. And that's I'm assuming that's not
the most flattering angle either.
Speaker 1 (12:55):
Listen, it's not my business what I look like downe there. Yeah,
none of my business.
Speaker 3 (13:01):
But then a friend of mine, this actually happened to yesterday.
She's a botox lady. She's my botox lady, and she
said a guy came into their salon and he was
really strange and he was asking all the girls.
Speaker 1 (13:15):
It was a very weird pickup line.
Speaker 3 (13:17):
He was saying, I'm gay, My mom doesn't know I
need to take a girl on a date.
Speaker 1 (13:22):
Can one of you act as my date?
Speaker 3 (13:24):
It just happened that everyone in this botox clinic is
absolutely stunning. I called bas on him being gay, so
they all had a giggle and they were playing along
with him, and then my friend went, wait, are you
recording us?
Speaker 1 (13:38):
He was like, oh yeah, it's for a TikTok. Oh gross,
it's really gross. It was really gross. So I think
we just need to keep on our game.
Speaker 2 (13:48):
Band glasses in the bedroom, band glasses in the bed.
All the poor people that can't say they've got.
Speaker 1 (13:55):
Screwed, you're going to be having very fuzzy sex.
Speaker 5 (13:58):
Wow.
Speaker 3 (14:00):
MC, there's a new dating trend that's getting ugly blokes laid.
Hurrah hourrah for the ugly blokes. I'm so happy for them.
It's going off on TikTok. So let me explain what
it is.
Speaker 5 (14:12):
Well, the dating world can be full of tails that
end happily ever after, but that is not the case
with this new gen Z. Term shrekking refers to dating
someone who you're not really attracted to in the hope
that you will be treated better by this person in return.
Speaker 3 (14:28):
So Shrek was, let's be real, a five, Princess Fiona
was a ten, absolutely and look how well they worked out.
Speaker 2 (14:35):
So it's like dating down.
Speaker 1 (14:37):
Yeah, Yeah.
Speaker 3 (14:38):
Basically it's dating down, which is kind of something I've
been doing for a long time anywhere.
Speaker 1 (14:43):
I just didn't realize your type.
Speaker 3 (14:46):
Shrek's been my type for ages, and to be fair,
I do like a Scottish accent. But I think it's
really good for three reasons.
Speaker 1 (14:55):
One, it gives you back the power. So you've got
this beautiful puppy dog just following you around who.
Speaker 2 (15:00):
Just adores hold it over them because they know you're
the hot one in the relationship and they're going to
do whatever you tell them to do so they can
stay in that relationship with the ten out of ten yes.
Speaker 3 (15:11):
And when you've dated a guy who is a ten,
who is permanently looking around at his other options cheating,
knows he can get anyone in the room that stops
being exciting really quickly. So that's why I think a
lot of women are turning to shreps because they want
to be adored. And then the other reason I really
like it is because I like a dad bod. I
(15:33):
like someone to cuddle to. I don't like rolling over
the next morning and feeling a six pack because it
gets me really paranoid.
Speaker 2 (15:41):
So I can exhale as what you're saying, this is great.
I've been sucking in this entire video. Felt like I
had to be on my best behavior. All right, six packs,
get rid of them?
Speaker 3 (15:49):
No, do you know a lot of women agree with
me that we like a nice, snugly body to fall
asleep next.
Speaker 2 (15:55):
You're doing this show with you. It was a great idea.
I suddenly feel really good about myself. All right, So,
but does at work? Is this? Is this a dating
principle that's having success? I mean, I can understand if
you're the Shrek in this situation. Great, you're dating someone
that's far hotter than you that you might not normally
get the chance to date. But for the ten in
the relationship, that's dating down and surely there has to
(16:15):
be like some level of physical attraction.
Speaker 1 (16:17):
Right, yeah, you do. But do you know what I find?
A lot of men can get me.
Speaker 3 (16:23):
Not a lot of men, but men have got me
into bed genuinely because they're being nice, funny. It's like
you for me, weird things make guys attractive. If they
can make me laugh, I'm probably getting naked.
Speaker 2 (16:37):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (16:38):
But I did do a deep dive on this very
important topic, and I did discover that it's not working.
Speaker 1 (16:45):
So a lot of women.
Speaker 3 (16:47):
Took to TikTok and basically said that they did try
the shrekking, they did date guys below them, but then
these guys got really big egos.
Speaker 1 (16:56):
Oh yeah, so.
Speaker 2 (16:57):
They suddenly thought this is what.
Speaker 3 (16:59):
I can get, this is my standard now, and then
they started cheating.
Speaker 1 (17:03):
So you're kind of damned if you do your damned
if you don't.
Speaker 2 (17:06):
Can I can? I can I do? My shrecond person,
go on, what are you doing in my swamp?
Speaker 1 (17:13):
Stop it?
Speaker 3 (17:13):
You know?
Speaker 2 (17:14):
I like a Scottish saucy Secrets explain the plot of
Ossie Shaw for our listeners that have never seen it.
Speaker 3 (17:23):
Basically, they throw all these horny twenty something year olds
into a house and just hit record.
Speaker 2 (17:29):
They are well lubricated. It's probably the worst term to use,
but they are well lubricated, and everything is filmed.
Speaker 1 (17:35):
Yes, and it's just beautiful.
Speaker 3 (17:38):
I binge the whole series in one sitting, and I
felt it.
Speaker 1 (17:41):
I did feel a little bit dirty after it, but at.
Speaker 3 (17:44):
The same time, I was like, God, I really didn't
live my twenties as much.
Speaker 1 (17:48):
As I should have.
Speaker 3 (17:49):
But Lily Jay did, and she joins us for her
second saucy secret for the show.
Speaker 1 (17:55):
Lily, Welcome to the confessional booth. What happened?
Speaker 4 (17:59):
Thanks for having me again. Look, I want you guys
to prepare yourself because it is something out of the ordinary.
I used to sell feet pictures for money, good feet.
It was to the point where I wouldn't even use
my own feet.
Speaker 1 (18:18):
Ah, wow, you scammed people?
Speaker 4 (18:23):
Now pretty well?
Speaker 1 (18:24):
Here's the thing.
Speaker 3 (18:25):
My girlfriends and I, after a few cocktails, the conversation
will always happen, would you sell your feet online? And
the answer is always an overwhelming yes. You're not showing
your tatars, you're not showing your nether regions.
Speaker 1 (18:40):
It's feet. And if there's widows that want to, you know,
worship them, so be it.
Speaker 2 (18:44):
How did you get into it? How did you start
selling feat pictures on the internet?
Speaker 1 (18:48):
If I was to.
Speaker 3 (18:49):
Be interested in selling my feet, how would I go
about doing it?
Speaker 4 (18:53):
Well, look, there's all different websites for it these days,
but I'll be honest, I just used the good old
app called kick. If anyone remembers what that was, No, Oh,
it's like the oldest, like I guess messaging up they is.
It was used like back when everyone was like in
high school and primary school and now I guess all
(19:15):
the oldies love it. You're just joined group chats and
like everyone just talks about feet and then people will
reach out if they want it. And the way I
found out about this was through YouTube on how to
find money Quick.
Speaker 3 (19:30):
You literally googled how can I make money quick?
Speaker 1 (19:33):
And it came up with go and.
Speaker 3 (19:35):
Kick and sell your feet photos. Yeah, correct, yes, that's genius.
And how much were you making.
Speaker 1 (19:42):
From these photos?
Speaker 2 (19:42):
Like?
Speaker 1 (19:43):
What would one picture of your twitsies make you?
Speaker 2 (19:46):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (19:47):
Honestly, this Like there was one case where I was
just shocked. It wasn't even a photo of my own feet.
It was literally just a random photo off Google images
and I got paid seven hundred dollars for it. Wow,
And it wasn't even your feet and it wasn't even
my feet, and I was just so like, I was
so shocked. I was like, wow, like this this is
(20:08):
a lot of money.
Speaker 1 (20:09):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 3 (20:10):
See I know Lily Allen joined only fans and just
put up feet pick, but she started getting stressed out
because you take requests, so people would say, can you
send me a video of.
Speaker 1 (20:23):
You painting your toe? Nows.
Speaker 3 (20:24):
They started getting quite crazy, so she had to like
put her feet walking through sand or.
Speaker 1 (20:30):
Do you remember ghak? Like that gooey stuff. One guy
wanted her.
Speaker 3 (20:35):
I like ghak too, so she wanted one guy wanted
her to like squish hit her toes through.
Speaker 2 (20:41):
It makes that weird fart sound? Is it popping bubbles?
Speaker 3 (20:44):
Do you feel weird knowing that guys were like pleasuring
themselves to your feet?
Speaker 4 (20:51):
No, because when I was seen that money come through,
I didn't care.
Speaker 2 (20:55):
Yeah, dollar dollar bills, y'all?
Speaker 1 (20:57):
Seven? Oh my god?
Speaker 3 (20:59):
Well, I know Lily Allen was making more of her
only fans feet pictures than she was from Spotify her
songs on Spotify, So there is money to be made.
Speaker 2 (21:09):
If someone is looking to set up a side hustle
and thinking, you know what, my toes aren't too bad
in your opinion, Lily Jade, what makes the perfect foot pick?
Speaker 1 (21:19):
Great question?
Speaker 4 (21:20):
Oh, I'm gonna have to say, you're gonna need some.
You want to wipe down the bottoms of your feet,
just get make sure it's clean on the bottom. And honestly,
they love white toenail polish.
Speaker 1 (21:32):
White would be a red.
Speaker 4 (21:34):
But not a color like just white. I think that
like white's like purity or like clean. So oh, I
always wanted white toenails.
Speaker 1 (21:45):
That is so weird.
Speaker 3 (21:47):
Now I have really ugly feet, like I have good toes.
I heard there's more of a market in ugly toes
than there is in perfect.
Speaker 1 (21:56):
Little pinkies like you know, little little ke toes.
Speaker 4 (22:00):
There is like I don't know what it is, but
they like nice looking toes.
Speaker 2 (22:05):
Look, look, breaking news. There are creeps on the internet,
just in case you were aware. Now, Ossie Shaw, there's
a second season that's that's about to hit.
Speaker 4 (22:12):
Absolutely, it's literally coming out like next week.
Speaker 1 (22:15):
And what can we expect?
Speaker 3 (22:16):
Did you have to sit your parents down and give
them a bit of air heads up that there was
some crazy stuff happening.
Speaker 4 (22:22):
Look, it definitely is crazy, But I don't tell anyone
the goss. I'll just say wait till it comes out,
to be honest. It's definitely a lot more than last year,
That's all I'll say.
Speaker 2 (22:33):
And we saw a lot.
Speaker 1 (22:36):
We can't a lot of nudity.
Speaker 2 (22:38):
Can't wait to see you can't wait to see your
toes with your white polish our Season two of Oozsi
Short's going to kick off soon, and thank you so
much for stepping inside the confessional booth with us on
the show tonight.
Speaker 3 (22:47):
Lily Jay, thank you, and if anyone wants me to
send them them some footpicks for seven hundred dollars, it's
not a no sure now MC one of our listeners
actually slid into my this week, not with a dick pic.
Speaker 1 (23:02):
Hurrah, something different.
Speaker 3 (23:05):
He had a saucy secret dilemma, it says, Dear Janna.
I never thought I'd be writing to a sex columnist,
but here I am. My wife has been gently and
not so gently, pushing me to go with her to
a swingers club. She says it's all about spicing things
up and exploring together. But I'll be honest, I'm nervous
as hell.
Speaker 1 (23:25):
Fair Court.
Speaker 3 (23:26):
Here's the thing between you and me, well between all
of us. I'm not exactly packing porn style proportions in
the downstairs department. It's fine, it does the job, but
I've always been a bit self conscious. The thought of
walking into a room full of strangers where everyone seems tall,
tan toned, and in my head hung like stallions makes
(23:46):
me want to break out into a cold sweat. All
this polhi, my wife insists these places are more about
connection and fun than looks or size. But part of
me is terrified I'll be standing there like the awkward
kid at the school dance, holding my drink while everyone
else gets chosen. What if she sees some chiseled adonis
and suddenly realize she's been short changed at home. I
(24:10):
love her and I don't want my insecurities to hold
her back, but I can't shake this feeling that if
I say yes, I'm opening Pandora's box and might never
feel enough again.
Speaker 2 (24:19):
So what do you reckon?
Speaker 3 (24:22):
I get that he's freaked out because she has taken
it to a tent, spicing up the bedroom.
Speaker 1 (24:29):
It's not normal.
Speaker 3 (24:31):
Maybe they've been having vanilla sex, but to say let's
go to a swingers is pretty full on. I would
suggest maybe toys. Start with a few toys.
Speaker 2 (24:42):
From the good people at Juju. They've got a wonderful
range that you could start with.
Speaker 3 (24:48):
And if you're worried about the size of your pecker,
there's a special.
Speaker 1 (24:52):
Thing called a ring. Sorry, it's called a ring.
Speaker 3 (24:57):
It vibrates, and a lot of men with small ones
put them over there. It's like my or ring, but
you put it over your male part and it actually
makes it bigger, really vibrates, so the woman gets it's
like you've turned your pecker into a vibrator.
Speaker 2 (25:15):
It's how you use it.
Speaker 1 (25:16):
It's how you use it.
Speaker 3 (25:17):
So there's some toys that you can incorporate into the
bedroom if you want to start spicing things up. I
think she's very fair to say I want to try
new things. Another option could be that you could, you know,
maybe start watching some pawn that involves swinger parties, get
an idea for what you could expect there.
Speaker 1 (25:39):
There's also these parties in Australia.
Speaker 3 (25:41):
It's called the Kitty Cat Club and it's a very
very tame swingers. So basically it's just people turning up
to a nightclub in sexy underwear and guys, if you're
a bit worried about your body, you can wear like
a silk like a manly silk robe, and the women
can turn up in the underwear and it's just a dance.
Speaker 2 (26:02):
Pit, so just look but don't touch.
Speaker 3 (26:03):
Using exactly, but they have things like shabari ropes, which
we know I'm a fan of. So they'll have demonstrations
but you're not taking part and no one's hooking up
in front of each other, So that could be a
good entry way.
Speaker 2 (26:15):
And look as lame as it sounds. Just talk to
your partner about it, you know what I mean.
Speaker 3 (26:20):
And if you're worried about the size, can I just
say I've learned from experience that it's not about the size.
It's the motion in the ocean as long as you
know how to use it.
Speaker 1 (26:31):
We women are fine.
Speaker 3 (26:32):
We don't want a big, scary one. I've said it
once and I'll say it again. We don't want a big,
scary one. We want a nice, normal one that doesn't
involve breathing exercises to have sex with you. But yeah,
she has taken it to a tenant, and I totally
get where he's coming from.
Speaker 2 (26:49):
It would be really nerve wracking. Let's forget the fact
that he said he's got a little toddra. Essentially, you
don't know what you're going to walk into. What if
you go into this room and these people are as
he wrote Adonis's and she looks at something else and goes, oh,
hang on a minute, this is actually where I want
to be playing, not with Wat's at home.
Speaker 1 (27:09):
It's a genuine fear.
Speaker 3 (27:11):
But I've been to one of these swingers parties. In fact,
I flew the hallway to London to go to a
high end swingers party.
Speaker 2 (27:19):
You went to London to attend a high end swingers party.
Speaker 1 (27:24):
I did.
Speaker 3 (27:25):
I was on assignment. Surprisingly, this wasn't just for fun.
Although listen, it's not a hard name.
Speaker 2 (27:31):
The ring box must be incredible.
Speaker 3 (27:33):
It's the best I love hearing. Do you want to
go to London to attend a high end swingers club?
The answer will always be yes, And so I did.
I scuttled over there and I met the owner of
Killing Kittens. Sorry, so it's called Killing Kittens because of
this saying every time you masturbate, God kills the kitten.
Speaker 2 (27:54):
That's the most unsexy name for a swingers club. I
think I ever heard in all my life.
Speaker 1 (27:58):
The worst name for a sex club.
Speaker 2 (28:01):
So I'm assuming, like you say, it's this high end
swingers party, I'm guessing it's in like this really old
world enchanting vintage fancy building like we'd see in Bridgington.
Speaker 1 (28:14):
Right, So normally it is.
Speaker 3 (28:15):
And this is why Killing Kittens became famous because the
rules were you had to have a lot of money.
Speaker 1 (28:21):
Well, the men had to have a lot of money.
Speaker 3 (28:22):
Back in the day, if a man wanted to go,
he had to show his bank account cents. So you
had to be a millionaire to attend one of these parties.
So they were being held in castles and French chateaus.
They're all around the world. They hold them in Paris, London.
Started in London, New York. They go everywhere and they'll
(28:43):
hire out beautiful penthouses or castles and things.
Speaker 1 (28:46):
I got jukes. I did not get a fancy castle.
This party was called Hedonism.
Speaker 3 (28:53):
And it was in Soho, which is a nice part
of London, but it was in a men's.
Speaker 1 (28:59):
Sph that's grim it was. It was kind of gross.
Speaker 3 (29:03):
The first smell that hit me was chlorine because they
had this big, giant spar kind of like you know
the Plagueboy mansion, the grotto.
Speaker 1 (29:13):
Which was no I never watched Girls of the Play.
Speaker 2 (29:17):
Or is it like a big communal pool or something.
Speaker 3 (29:19):
Wasn't exactly, but in here it was just this really
big spa that anyone was allowed to go in. But
it meant as soon as you walked into this men's spa,
you were just hit with this overpowering Nothing.
Speaker 2 (29:30):
Gets you in the mood like strong chemicals.
Speaker 3 (29:33):
It was not cute, and I had it'd been sold
to me like it's you know, female run, You're going
to see beautiful candles and there's going to be gorgeous chandelier. No,
it was a dirty, bubbling hot tub and chlorine.
Speaker 2 (29:48):
So before you even rocked up to the event and
obviously disappointed by what greeted you, what was going through
your mind?
Speaker 1 (29:55):
I was petrified. So I dragged one of my best
friends with.
Speaker 2 (29:58):
Imagine, but, hey, what do you do on Saturday? Nothing?
All great? Want to come to a swingers party with me?
Speaker 3 (30:04):
Yeah, that's kind of She flew from New York. You
need to pick the right person to attend a swing
yes with, and she was She's the kind of girl
that would have a good time. So she literally jumped
on a plane and met me over in London.
Speaker 1 (30:17):
And I was petrified. I'm not gonna lie.
Speaker 3 (30:20):
I have never had a threesome, so I've never seen
other people have sex in front of me, apart from
myself and the person. So I was really going into
this whole new world. I did have two rosees before
I got in there. I think that's a requirement if
you're going to attend a swingers hats off to anyone
(30:40):
that can go in stone cold sober. I had some
roses and then we were greeted at the door and
handed these lace face masks. So we were told you
have to wear a mask. Yep, sexy lace mask. A
lot of people brought their own, fabulously flamboyant.
Speaker 2 (30:57):
Is that just to kind of protect your identity in
a way or is it to make its mysterious.
Speaker 3 (31:02):
It's supposed to be sexy. It's like eyes wide shut
kind of vibes. Everyone turns up, so you're told to
turn up in cocktail where so I bought the most
beautiful cocked black cocktail dress. But they don't stay on long, okay,
So basically everyone meets out the front and there's a
long line of What surprised me most was they were
(31:25):
middle aged, rich.
Speaker 2 (31:26):
People, because that was my next question, who are the
other people that are attending.
Speaker 3 (31:30):
These Yeah, it was very normal looking middle aged people.
It was a lot of husband and wives who had
brought their girlfriend. Okay, so that apparently is really normal
in these circles.
Speaker 2 (31:44):
Did you feel as though from the outset that you're
lining up, I would imagine the small talk was just bizarre.
Did you almost feel as though you were on display
or being judged because everyone's kind of looking at everyone else,
going who's the person that we want to approach.
Speaker 3 (31:57):
Inside, Well, a lot of them had already preset that up,
so they actually have a WhatsApp group.
Speaker 1 (32:02):
Of course I didn't get this memo, but they have
a WhatsApp group.
Speaker 3 (32:05):
So everyone who's attending that party, they can all see
each other, they all send pictures, they can already decide
who they're going to sleep with that night before they
even get there.
Speaker 1 (32:14):
You can change your mind because it's a bit like Tinder.
Speaker 3 (32:17):
You know, maybe they don't look like what they look
like on the WhatsApp group, but yeah, it's everyone's Most
people had been to a few so I was one
of the only rookies.
Speaker 2 (32:27):
The newbies in the corner.
Speaker 1 (32:29):
I was the newbie.
Speaker 3 (32:30):
And so you all walk in and everyone goes straight
to the bar for a drink. Behind the bar is
all these TV screens that's playing porn. So straight away
you'll like, make no mistake, there will be sex tonight,
and we're going to just warm you up with a
bit and it's like aggressive pawn.
Speaker 1 (32:49):
It's like bam bam, bamas. I was like, all right,
well we're in.
Speaker 2 (32:53):
Where's the high end part of this? When does that start?
Speaker 1 (32:55):
The high class part is the fact that they are
all rich.
Speaker 3 (33:00):
It's expensive to get in. There was a billionaire. The
owner MSL told me that Shane Warne was a regular,
which didn't surprise me really, but that's where the high
end ends. Yes, so basically everyone goes in, they have
a drink. The menu surprised me again, So you've got
(33:22):
porn playing in the background. Food I didn't see much food,
but I think because everyone they were getting naked.
Speaker 1 (33:29):
Yeah, so you're not going to eat a bit dirty
burger before you before you get nude.
Speaker 3 (33:35):
But on the menu there was a blue pill option
I thought was probably handy or.
Speaker 1 (33:43):
An event like this. And then they.
Speaker 3 (33:46):
All started dispersing to the locker rooms and I was like,
why where is everyone going? But then they all came
back either naked or in just really sexy laundry.
Speaker 1 (33:56):
But I was just told to wear a cocktail dress.
Speaker 3 (33:59):
So I just walked around in my stupid cocktail dress
because I wasn't getting naked.
Speaker 1 (34:03):
Straight up.
Speaker 3 (34:04):
This is my first swingers and so I was the
most overdressed person at the party.
Speaker 2 (34:10):
You'd be the uncool person at the swingers party. Or
look at her over there, the loser in clothes.
Speaker 3 (34:15):
Why is she so overdressed? It was so it was
it was actually mortifying. My friend had no issues. She's like, what,
everyone's getting naked? All right, don't naked? So she got naked.
Everyone either got naked or stripped down.
Speaker 2 (34:29):
Yep.
Speaker 1 (34:30):
And then the music's playing.
Speaker 2 (34:33):
What kind of music out of curiosity, like saxophone violins.
Speaker 3 (34:37):
House music, like sexy house music. I did start chizamming
in the corner because the music was really good. So
like everyone's like getting it on and I'm sitting therezaming.
Speaker 2 (34:48):
So are people like it's is it a big open room?
Are there small rooms off to the side. Is it
literally happening in front of you on like a big
couch as though it's an episode of fifty Shades of Gray?
Where and what's happening? And how much you've seen?
Speaker 3 (35:01):
Okay, So after about twenty minutes of how are you good?
Speaker 1 (35:05):
Yes, how's the good kids?
Speaker 3 (35:07):
Yes, they're fine, thank you, everyone does start dispersing. So
there are smaller rooms, but there's no doors on the rooms,
so you can go into a smaller room and start
making out, or you can hop in the big spa,
and a lot of people did go to the spa area.
So you're either in the rooms or you're in the spa,
(35:28):
or there is areas where you can just sit and
have a drink.
Speaker 1 (35:31):
Which is where I was for a bit of it.
But it does get wild.
Speaker 3 (35:34):
So in the spa a lot of people were like
the man was sitting on the edge of the pool
and the woman was providing a special favor, if you will,
So they were they were getting herd jobs, I.
Speaker 1 (35:53):
Don't know how else to say it, or there.
Speaker 2 (35:55):
Was she was living her supper and it was hot
dogs on the menu.
Speaker 1 (35:58):
She was dining out.
Speaker 3 (36:00):
A lot of women were dining out on each other, okay,
so and a lot of the men were sitting back.
Speaker 2 (36:04):
It's a buffet type situation watching.
Speaker 3 (36:07):
Yes, the women have a jolly good time together, yep.
And then in the smaller rooms that.
Speaker 1 (36:14):
Was more like wam bam, thank you ma'am getting it on.
Speaker 2 (36:17):
So while this is happening, were you a approach to
take part in any of these activities and b was
the any part of you that went, oh, I don't
mind the look at that one over there. Why not?
Speaker 3 (36:30):
So the rule with most swingers, and certainly this swingers
is that women have to make the first move right,
so it stops it from being creepy.
Speaker 1 (36:41):
The men are just happy.
Speaker 2 (36:42):
Oh, there's nothing creepy about house music and pawn on
TVs and people going to town on each other in
a communal spa. That's not creepy in the slot.
Speaker 1 (36:50):
But if you're there, you're aware that's going to happen.
I didn't realize like the porn.
Speaker 3 (36:55):
Weirdly, the pawn shocked me the most because it was
from the get go, so it was like, make no mistakes,
you're here for sex. But no, it's actually so polite,
which also surprised me.
Speaker 1 (37:05):
It's very A girl.
Speaker 3 (37:07):
Might come up and talk to you with her husband.
She'll introduce you to the husband. So I had a
few couples that.
Speaker 2 (37:12):
Happened and they go, hey, did you want to come over?
Speaker 1 (37:16):
I think I.
Speaker 3 (37:16):
Was really giving vibes, and especially as soon as I
told them I'm a writer for the Daily Matterage.
Speaker 2 (37:21):
No thank you so much, no, no, no, no, thank you
so much.
Speaker 3 (37:24):
And the fact that I was wearing a cocktail dress
was giving listen I'm just here to observe. My best
friend really got into it, so she did meet a
special lad.
Speaker 2 (37:36):
She understood the brief, she.
Speaker 3 (37:38):
Got the brief, she got the brief, so she had
a great time. But then that was kind of daunting
because I was walking around looking in all the rooms
and I did catch a glimpse of her, and I
was like, I'm happy to watch anyone else, I don't
want to see my best friend going at it. But
she had a wonderful time. But I actually got bored.
There was so much sex. There was so much nudity
(38:03):
that I in the end just was like, Okay, I've
seen enough sex. It didn't tell me on because it
was like watching your mom and dad have sex.
Speaker 2 (38:09):
So on the show last week, we talked about you
going to an orgasm retreat in the California desert, and
you were the only person at the orgasm retreat that
didn't reach the finish line. You were the only person
in the swingers club that didn't swing.
Speaker 1 (38:23):
I was the only person one.
Speaker 3 (38:24):
I was the only person overdressed, still in their cocktail dress,
and I was the only person that.
Speaker 1 (38:29):
Didn't have sex.
Speaker 2 (38:30):
And just like that, we have reached the end of
yet another Saucy Secrets, and I don't think the feed
was cut. I don't think the plug was pulled.
Speaker 3 (38:39):
I think listen, we could just be talking to each
other right now. That's true, but we're getting a thumbs
up from the producer. So yes, we have finished.
Speaker 2 (38:46):
I'll tell you what hanging out with you and your life.
It's educational, it's surprising, it is eye opening, it is
all of that and so much more.
Speaker 1 (38:56):
Well, it's interesting.
Speaker 3 (38:57):
I'm so glad you're here, because you really are. Nothing
shocks me anymore. So be at a dinner party and
tell a story and then be met with shocked faces
and go, oh yeah, that is a bit naughty. So
I appreciate your open mindness, my vanilla neness.
Speaker 2 (39:12):
Everything you say is shocking to me.
Speaker 1 (39:14):
Fact that you lean in and want to know more.
Speaker 2 (39:16):
Thank you so much. Look, there is a closet perv
in all of us, right, I think, so well with
it down, insight.
Speaker 3 (39:21):
If you've got to the end of this show and welcome,
welcome you to the game.
Speaker 2 (39:25):
By the way, you've been listening to Saucy Secrets, and
you've got something, something you've seen, something you've heard something.
Maybe you've done.
Speaker 3 (39:35):
Tell Us, maybe you're hearing this on Sunday night and
you've just had the most debauchuous weekend of your life.
Speaker 1 (39:41):
Tell Us, we want to know.
Speaker 2 (39:42):
Yes, safe space ish, we can keep you anonymous, but
we want the gory details. So obviously you know the
iHeart app, which is on your phone. It's free if
it's not downloaded. There's a section there with a little
microphone where you can just tell us your saucy secret.
So jump on there, do that. It has been a pleasure,
it's been fun. Shall we do it again next week?
Speaker 1 (40:03):
I think so. I think so. Listen.
Speaker 3 (40:05):
I don't know what we're going to talk about next
week that it's going to be raunchy, so secret
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