Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
My name is Tatasha Bamblet. I'm a proud First Nations
woman and I'm here to acknowledge country t Glenn Young, Ganya, Niana,
Kaka yah Ya bin Ahaka, nian Ar gay In Mbini,
yakarum jar, Dominyama, Domaghawakaman, damon Imlan Bumba, bang Gadabomba in
and now in wakah ghana on yak rum jar Watnadaa. Hello,
(00:22):
beautiful friends, we gather on the lands of the Aboriginal people.
We thank acknowledge and respect the Abiginal people's land that
we're gathering on today. Take pleasure in all the land
and respect all that you see. She's on the Money
podcast acknowledges culture, country, community and connections, bringing you the tools,
knowledge and resources for you to thrive.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
She's on the Money.
Speaker 3 (00:46):
She's on the Money.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
Hello and welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast
that's here to keep your budget merry and bright. Even
when Christmas has other ideas, it.
Speaker 3 (01:15):
Always creeps up on us.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
Yeah, you know, I feel like, I mean, everyone always
says is, but it literally was felt like it feels like.
Speaker 3 (01:22):
It wasn't that long ago.
Speaker 4 (01:24):
Also, it's crazy same day every year, same day every year,
calendars or something.
Speaker 2 (01:31):
Oh my, I'm so excited. Christmas is such an exciting time.
So you know the moment when you check your bank
account after Christmas and then think.
Speaker 3 (01:38):
Like, okay, where did my money go? Well, I was
a bit too festting. Yeah, okay, I should have rained
in a little bit.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
I'm excited with me as a woman who's going to
help us figure out why this happens and more importantly,
how to stop doing it. Victoria Divine, Hello, So this
is going to be like a little bit of a
do as I say, not as I do episode because
I love getting a little bit festival. I love getting
a little bit merry, and I think that it's important
to top the episode with that because I don't want
(02:06):
you thinking that I do frugal Christmas every year. Because
I try, I manifests, and then I just flow out.
I genuinely can't believe that we are recording Christmas episodes.
I am so excited to talk about it though, because
I feel like it's really well timed for us to
get a little bit more prepared in the lead up
to Christmas. So if you're like, what the hellvy, it's
(02:26):
not even December yet, I know, but the shops have
had Christmas stuff since August, so I feel like that
was the gateway to letting me exactly have a Christmas episode.
Speaker 3 (02:36):
Sorry, take it up with corporate, with somebody else.
Speaker 4 (02:41):
So this episode isn't about being a grinch or like
sucking all the fun out of Christmas, because like, I
love Christmas. I love traditions. Now that I'm a mum,
I think I love it even more. Like bet, I'm
going to have a nearly two year old for Christmas
this year.
Speaker 3 (02:54):
That's fun.
Speaker 4 (02:55):
Last year it was fun, like I dressed him in
his little festive outfit, like ripped his paper off, but
didn't get it. I think he now is going to
like get the concept of gifting.
Speaker 3 (03:05):
I'm just so excited.
Speaker 4 (03:06):
But this episode is going to be about, I guess,
spotting this sneaky little traps that nudge us into spending
a little bit more than we'd actually anticipated or even
wanted to, And then once you know them, you can
kind of pause and ask, do I want to spend
my money here or is it just like this Christmas
spending psychology at work? So this episode is all about
(03:27):
spending with intentions. So that you still get all the
joy at Christmas without the financial hangover come January.
Speaker 3 (03:34):
Yeah, okay, You've always got our back, don't you.
Speaker 4 (03:36):
I just wanted to talk about Christmas. Thank you for
thinking that that was me having your back. But this
is also our FYI to Victoria episodes. I just I
don't want to miss out.
Speaker 2 (03:47):
You know you should listen to this when it comes
out and be like, Okay, that's actually great advice.
Speaker 3 (03:50):
Do you know I can't listen to our episodes? Oh
my god? Say I hate hearing hearing myself and like
I still do for quality checks. Yeah, I give myself
the biggest it. Oh my god, say I can't do
it same. I'm like, why did I say that? Even
though it's something I can't, I can't.
Speaker 4 (04:09):
If I listened back to every single episode, I would
be calling our producer Emma and be like rip it down, yeah.
Speaker 3 (04:14):
Actually, let that go live. Actually I would rather bury
myself down. Really, let's call it all off. Why did
you give me a microphone? Let's stop doing this right now. Okay,
so where should we start?
Speaker 4 (04:26):
All right, let's start with Victoria's feeling if missing out?
So feed fomo, so scrolling yourself broke before you even shop.
I've already started saving TikTok's. Oh no, yep, I've already
started saving things on Instagram, Like you jump on TikTok
(04:47):
for inspiration or I do. One of my girlfriends recently
was like, oh, I don't have TikTok. I just know
I wouldn't be good at it. I'm like, you're a
better person than I will ever be.
Speaker 3 (04:57):
Those people are like, I just don't download it. Yeah,
that's in pressive.
Speaker 4 (05:00):
But I jump on TikTok, and I know a lot
of you guys also jump on TikTok through the inspiration,
and suddenly your thirty dollar budget feels underwhelming next to
somebody's seven hundred dollars Christmas hall and you just feel like,
oh my god, maybe I shouldn't be getting back a
thirty dollar gift. Maybe I need to bump that up
to one hundred dollars because I can't get her enough,
(05:21):
Like we start to think that we aren't enough. And
going back on this, it does go back to psychology.
So you know how I said, do as I say,
not as I do. For those of you who might
be new to the podcast, before I got into financial advice.
I was in psychology. I actually have two psych degrees,
and I use that a lot to help swindle your
(05:41):
bank accounts into a better situation. But this is a
thing called social comparison theory. So seeing curated gift guides,
which there are a lot of this season, I've already
started to see like under fifty dollars gift guide, under
hundred dollar gift guides fantastic. But these spark what's called
(06:02):
benign envy. Okay, and benign envy is something that you've
probably never spoken about before, but it happens all the time,
and it's wanting what other people have. Studies show that
this kind of envy boosts purchase intentions, especially when that
person feels relatable to you. So if you're watching your
(06:22):
favorite content creators, we're not just like mindlessly scrolling TikTok
and Rando comes up. But if your favorite content creators
are posting things, you're more likely to be.
Speaker 3 (06:32):
Like, oh, I want that totally, I love that. I
love that she has that. I want that.
Speaker 4 (06:38):
And just a little interesting fact in influencer research, relatability
and credibility both strongly predict by your behavior, which is
why I quote normal girl halls influence you so hard,
got you so like, don't get me wrong, We're not
looking at their influencer hall and going, oh my god,
(06:59):
I need to one thousand dollars on the brand new
dice and air wrap. Like maybe we do, because that's
how I feel right now. But it's often the smaller
things that you're like, all of these things add up
and that feels like a relatable purchase. But because they
feel like normal girls that you're following, they influence you
so hard, and you know what, that's why so many
businesses spend so much of their marketing budget on influencers.
Speaker 2 (07:21):
Yeah, and it's kind of that feeling of like, oh,
this person doesn't seem super rich, but they have this
super expensive thing.
Speaker 3 (07:26):
I why is it not in my budget? Serve that? Yeah,
I'm going to try and make that in my budget.
It seems like a normal thing to own. I just
I get it. We work hard back.
Speaker 4 (07:36):
Yeah, I think every single person in our community deserves
the absolute world. But if you do not have the
budget for it, you just don't, like I cannot, don't
give me the ah, but I deserve it. Oh but
I worked really hard this year. I don't care if
you don't have the budget. It's a no, like it's
hard and it hurts and it's not that fun.
Speaker 3 (07:58):
But I'm sorry.
Speaker 4 (07:59):
Just because you feel like you deserve something doesn't mean
that we compromise our budget and future ask for.
Speaker 3 (08:05):
That budget does not discriminate.
Speaker 4 (08:08):
No, and so what I want you to be doing instead?
My favorite button on TikTok and on Instagram. I don't
know if I should tell you guys this because like
some people might get offended, especially like other content creators,
my favorite button is mute. I like muting people, so
I'm not on following you. I really like you, still
want the connection with you, but I don't want to
see stuff just in case. Yeah, it's just not my journey,
(08:33):
So mute the whole accounts or the people that are
big influencers during this period of time. It's just for now,
just for now, and you can maybe find some like
budget friendly creators. Do you know who's a really good
budget friendly creator? Miss Jess Ricci or true she is
she actually does some really good stuff and write your
gift list before you open your apps, or even better,
(08:53):
do you know what I think that your social detox
like your social media detox.
Speaker 3 (08:58):
Should happen in December. You're up for December.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
Weirdly, you'd probably save a lot of money, you know,
you would in an indirect way.
Speaker 3 (09:05):
But I get fomo and you get fomo. We just
need to find a deal or a way that we can.
Speaker 2 (09:10):
Deal with it.
Speaker 3 (09:10):
Okay, Okay, So what's number two? Okay? So I've written
down the vibe tax. Okay.
Speaker 4 (09:15):
I don't know if these are lame headings. They probably are,
but hopefully you're here because you resonate with my lanman
ness spending more because the store feels magical.
Speaker 3 (09:25):
Oh my god, this is so relatable. How many times
do you go in and it's just a little something
something or a little drink. They get little they have
little trinkets.
Speaker 4 (09:35):
Oh my god, I do this, and like I feel
like you walk in for like an ornament or something,
because like we're Christmas shopping and you're like, I really
want to get beck an ornament, and suddenly you're wheeling
out with half of kma.
Speaker 3 (09:45):
Oh but it's so magical, it's so fun, like they've
got all VM.
Speaker 4 (09:48):
To perfection, like the fairy lights. Oh my god, they're
playing Mariah Carey. Oh you got to like, sorry, I'm
feeling very festive. And the decorations they're all styled to
look like they're straight up out of Pinterest, and everything
just feels like it just needs a little spot in
your trolley.
Speaker 3 (10:04):
Well, you got to have the fairy lights when you
see them up, and you've got to have the tree.
You're not right. But do you know what this is?
Psychologically speaking? It's called the halo effect. Okay, and it's working.
It's it's working, and that's when the environment.
Speaker 4 (10:19):
If the environment feels good, we assume the products inside
of it are better as well. Christmas lights, playlists, the smell,
Oh my god, how many times have you walked into
Peter Alexander and been like, it's intoxicating in here.
Speaker 3 (10:34):
It smells like a sweet tree. Oh I love a
sweet tree.
Speaker 2 (10:37):
I do.
Speaker 3 (10:37):
And then they're like.
Speaker 4 (10:38):
Decorated for Christmas, and it kind of flips your brain
into holiday mode and then all of a sudden you're feeling.
Speaker 3 (10:44):
Like slightly warm, slightly fuzzy, slightly spendy, and then you're like,
I can have this vibe at home.
Speaker 4 (10:50):
It fills into your shopping choices and we're trying to
take the vibes home exactly exactly, Okay, And we don't
like hearing this because that's a little bit confronting. But again,
this is why marketing spends so much money on visual
merchandising the.
Speaker 3 (11:05):
Store so that you spend more.
Speaker 4 (11:06):
It's not so Oh, we love our customers so much,
we would love them to hear Mariah Carey when we
walk Yeah, God, they're trying to get your money.
Speaker 3 (11:14):
That makes it sound strategic. They're manipula. Doesn't feel as
magical like that.
Speaker 4 (11:20):
No, you walk in, you'd be like, I feel the
manipulation in here exactly. And when it comes to research,
because like I like backing everything up with research, there
have been so many studies that show that the Christmas
vibe really does change how we spend in so many
sneaky ways. And I've written down a little list from
a lot of different places. So shoppers stay longer in
(11:41):
stores that play festive music, and one American department store
actually found the average spend jumped thirty percent on the
days when they had like live carolers.
Speaker 3 (11:52):
In the store. Oh my god. Of course, so you're thinking,
oh my.
Speaker 4 (11:57):
God, maya there's like cute little lives out of the front,
Live Love.
Speaker 3 (12:01):
Last, Yeah, Yeah, yeah, No, I'm spending yep, yep, that's
why they've got them there.
Speaker 4 (12:07):
And when firstive music is playing, shoppers more likely to
add a little extra just in case items to their baskets,
things that they didn't plan on buying. And then products
are actually perceived like they literally tested this. Products are
perceived as higher quality and more gift worthy when they're
displayed under Christmas lights and decorations.
Speaker 3 (12:30):
That makes sense. I feel like there are things that
I buy and I'm like, I take them home. I'm like,
what the hell am I going to do with this thing?
Speaker 2 (12:35):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (12:37):
Right?
Speaker 4 (12:38):
Yes, you go onto a website all of a sudden,
they've got a Christmas background, there might be some Christmas music.
I just you're getting me because you guys have put
a lot of time, energy, and effort into researching what
is going to increase your conversion rates?
Speaker 2 (12:54):
Do you know what?
Speaker 4 (12:54):
I live in this rock and hard place, right, so
I don't want my community to have the mickey taken
out of them. I don't want you spending more than
you need to. On the flip side, I am wildly
passionate about small business. Yeah, and I would tell every
small business owner. Yeah, festify your website, like, increase your
(13:17):
conversion rate, increase your average customer spend, you know, send
them festive emails.
Speaker 3 (13:22):
That's such a good idea.
Speaker 4 (13:24):
But then on the flip side, I'm like, beck, don't
don't fall for this stuff that I'm helping with.
Speaker 3 (13:27):
Yeah, yeah, totally.
Speaker 4 (13:29):
It's like my love for small business, but then also
my love for being like, hey, be a smart consumer, like,
just make sure that you're not making impulse decisions.
Speaker 3 (13:37):
Yeah, I just work for the devil, I suppose. So
you know what we're going to do instead? Yes, what
diy vibes? Okay, so make your own magic at home. Yeah,
but it's really nice with a playlist.
Speaker 4 (13:50):
And then Christmas treats so that you're not chasing it
in shops and stores, you're not trying to go down
to the local shopping.
Speaker 3 (13:56):
Area and like get your vibes there. We have that
at home.
Speaker 4 (14:00):
Yes, and then while your vibes are high, maybe you
made a little hot choky at home, we're playing the
Mariah Carey Christmas list.
Speaker 3 (14:06):
Do you know what we will do?
Speaker 4 (14:07):
Actually, yeah, we will put together all of the She's
on the Money favorite Christmas songs into a Christmas playlist
on our Spotify because I think a lot of people
don't know that we actually not only have our podcast
on Spotify, but we have a Spotify account with different playlists.
In these playlists is like infesting budgeting saving. I'm a
(14:27):
make a Christmas one, yes, and it will be our
favorite songs, some.
Speaker 3 (14:31):
Boo Blay, a lot of boo.
Speaker 4 (14:33):
Blaze, Like if you don't like Mariah Carey and Boublay
steer very clear. Absolutely we're going to go ham. But
what I want you to do is do that at home.
Write a list, check it twice, check it twice, and
keep the vibes at your house so that they don't
hijack your budget.
Speaker 3 (14:51):
That's so true. And then actually bake gingerbread cookies so your.
Speaker 4 (14:54):
Is so cute and like, I know it sounds so lame,
but like goal, I want your baked home goods rather
than a present.
Speaker 3 (15:02):
Yeah, yeah, I'm exactly the same. Okay, what's the next
on the list? The payback present? Oh that sounds so mean.
Speaker 4 (15:10):
It does, but like, how many times have you been
given a gift and then you felt like you had
to like a gift of similar value?
Speaker 3 (15:18):
That's so true. Like, oh, SPEC's birthday, she spent fifty
bucks on my present. I have to get her a present.
Speaker 4 (15:25):
Same stuff happens at Christmas, yeap, Like maybe you budgeted
thirty bucks for your cousin's Christmas present because you got
them in Chris Kringled this year, and then she hands
you a luck seventy dollar candle and then the next
thing you know, you're scrambling for a seventy dollar outcha
because you just want to even the score and make
sure that she doesn't think that you think she's worthless.
Speaker 3 (15:45):
Yep. Yeah, is that stupid or is that stupid?
Speaker 2 (15:48):
No, it's really hard when people it's nice, but it's like, okay,
that's adding to the amount that I've got to spend now.
Speaker 4 (15:56):
Yeah, and again back to psychology, it's called the reciprocacy norm.
Speaker 2 (16:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (16:00):
So it's like this dumb, really dumb social rule that
we assume must be return equal value. Yes, at Christmas,
I would say, the urge to keep relationships quote balanced,
pushes people to overspend consistently.
Speaker 2 (16:16):
I get it.
Speaker 4 (16:16):
An interesting fact for you, Beck, Psychologists once tested just
how deep the urge to give back goes. So this
was in the nineteen seventies, and I would say it's
worse now because social media didn't exist in the nineteen seventies.
But a researcher mailed out hundreds of Christmas cards to
complete strangers, like complete strangers, and then his letterbox started
(16:38):
filling up with cards in return.
Speaker 3 (16:40):
That is so cute. I think it's cute. But they
were like, oh my god, did I forget that I
know this person? Like we should send one back.
Speaker 4 (16:47):
Families literally wrote back, kids drew pictures, people wished him
marry Christmas as if they had known him for years.
Speaker 3 (16:55):
That is automatic.
Speaker 4 (16:58):
Their reciprocacy reflex is if someone gives us something, our
brain instantly feels like, oh my god, I owe them
something back, even if it makes zero logical sense.
Speaker 2 (17:07):
I e.
Speaker 4 (17:07):
Some random researcher sent me a Christmas card, debate me
to see if I would fall for it, and.
Speaker 3 (17:14):
Then they fail for it. Oh that is something. This
thing's so sweet about that. It's also kind of cute, Like,
I don't know, do good be good? Send a Christmas card?
They're cute, yeah, with a little candy cane inside. Oh
my god, I know like you.
Speaker 4 (17:27):
Used to in grade three when you would do your
Christmas cards, and you would take the candy cane.
Speaker 2 (17:31):
To the envelope, actually write something in the envelope, though
I mean inside the card, because some people do a
well written card. A well written card, andy candy cane
is all you need to do this Christmas.
Speaker 3 (17:39):
Absolutely.
Speaker 4 (17:40):
The other thing that we're going to do instead of
this reciprocacy reflex is set a family wide budget. Or
I've talked about this before in our previous Christmas episodes.
We do Chris Kringle in our family, and I think
you should too, because when the rules are really clear,
the pressure to match disappears. Yes, exactly, Like it also
(18:00):
changes our entire budget. Like our family is growing, like
not just my family, but you know, more nieces and
nephews than.
Speaker 3 (18:08):
We've had before all of that stuff.
Speaker 4 (18:10):
Yeah, we cannot be expected to always bring a present
for every uncle and aunt and cousin that's coming to Christmas.
And I don't know about you, but I love having
lots of people around at Christmas. So like, the more
the merrier Chris Kringle means that that more than marrier
doesn't become more the merrier out of home budget to
make sure that everyone coming to my house, has a
(18:30):
present totally.
Speaker 3 (18:31):
Because regardless, you've only got to buy one present, that's it.
Speaker 4 (18:34):
Yeah, And like I have spoken about this before, you
can also have like random Christmas rules like we have
second hand, handmade or homemade as a rule in one
side of our family.
Speaker 3 (18:45):
So much fun, totally, No, I really really like this idea.
It's so fun.
Speaker 4 (18:49):
Anyway, bech Let's take a really quick break, but friends,
stay with us because we're still talking about Christmas and
next we're going to be diving into more of the
psychology of exactly why we overspend on gifts and just
spoiler before we get to the ad break, it has
way less to do with them and way more.
Speaker 2 (19:05):
To do with you. Okay, bye, welcome back everyone. Before
the break, VD drops something very very I would say a.
Speaker 4 (19:17):
Personal attack, but it was needed. Yeah, like, it's not
it's me. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's me saying it's not me,
it's you.
Speaker 3 (19:25):
Yeah, exactly exactly.
Speaker 2 (19:27):
So we were talking about the pressure to match the
money people spend on us, and I guess, like, it's
really silly.
Speaker 3 (19:34):
But what else is there on the list of why
we overspend on gifts?
Speaker 4 (19:37):
I've written this down as the stress to impress aha,
blowing your budget just because you don't want to look
like a stingy gowl, which.
Speaker 3 (19:46):
Is hard when you are genuinely broke and you.
Speaker 2 (19:49):
Just get it.
Speaker 4 (19:50):
Like I feel like we're all trying to keep up
with the Kardashians, with the Joneses, whatever. I feel like
there's this underlying pressure, and you know what, it's actually
crazy because I was thinking about this episode and pulling
it all together. And I used to feel that a
lot more when I had no money than now when
(20:11):
I am. I would say very financially comfortable. So now
I'm financially comfortable. I feel like I don't think that
you would think I was stingy if I brought you
a ten dollar gift.
Speaker 3 (20:21):
Totally.
Speaker 4 (20:21):
I think that you would just hopefully assume that you know,
I really thought about it, because yeah, it's this dumb
psychology right like, deep down I know that you know
that I'm not broke. Yeah, so if I got you
a ten dollar gift, I am hoping that the assumption
would be that you just assume that was because I
am thoughtful and kind and it's the thought that counts. Yes,
(20:46):
January is when I had no money. If I bought
you a ten dollar gift. In the back of my mind,
all I'm thinking of is does beck Noll was worth
ten dollars? Does she think I'm being stingy? Does she
think I didn't spend enough? Like you get all of
these additional layers of doubt, which keeps you in debt,
which keeps you in a position where you're not putting
your financial future first. And it's an interesting reflection because
(21:08):
I don't feel that about gifts now. I'm genuinely and
this is a privilege, and please don't get me wrong,
I'm speaking from immense privilege of having financial freedom. But
don't get me wrong, I also know I created that myself. Yeah,
but it's an interesting conundrum, right, like where you don't
have enough and you feel like you don't have enough,
and then you feel like you're being stingy because you're
(21:28):
restricting your budget because you should be doing that. Yeah,
And to dive a little bit deeper into not me,
but more into this concept like you actually have no
clue what your partner's mama's into, maybe lack and this
is just an example. Maybe like you've METO twice and
you're it's kind of a new you know, you're meeting
Jess's parents for the first time. You're like stress seeing
(21:50):
and all you know is that she's like a bit fancy,
she likes nice things. The pressure so you play it
safe and you grab what is maybe the fan fansiest
bottle of perfume or the fanciest bottle of champagne that
you can afford, because you just go, oh, she likes
nice things, because at least no one can say it
looks cheap yeap.
Speaker 3 (22:10):
You don't want to look cheap, do you know exactly?
Speaker 4 (22:13):
And this is stupid, I know, but you know what
it's called. It's called self presentation anxiety. Okay, So, because
gifts feel like they're a reflection of you, right, and
you know what, the more you care about gifting, the
worse this is for you, Like, the more you deeply
care about other people, the more you're going to suffer
from this. When you're not sure what to buy, you
(22:34):
actually just default the pricey option so that you don't
feel like you look thoughtless.
Speaker 3 (22:38):
Yeah, it's basically you overspending to safe face.
Speaker 2 (22:40):
Oh my god, that's so like yeah, attackable, that's literally me.
And then you end up being like, well, I can't
hold food for us a week.
Speaker 3 (22:50):
But that's because at least this random person that I'm
not a gift for doesn't think that I'm cheap. Yeah,
it's crazy.
Speaker 4 (22:56):
They didn't even think about it to begin with. They
were just like, oh, that's so nice. Come empty handed.
You could have brought a piece of paper with a
drawing of a cat on it. She probably would have
been impressed, like, my god, it's great day. You were annoying, right,
And then going back to research, studies find the givers
assume people want to be wold, but recipients consistently report
feeling closer to someone who nails like the small practical
(23:17):
things they actually wanted. Yes, like, maybe you did go
to Jess's mum's house one time and you noticed she
didn't have a bottle opener.
Speaker 3 (23:25):
Yes, exactly, and you.
Speaker 4 (23:27):
Remembered and wrote it down in your notes app and
then that's what you got her for Christmas and it
cost you like eight bucks at Dan Murphy's.
Speaker 3 (23:34):
Yeah, but she's like, oh my god, you remembered that.
That's so funny.
Speaker 4 (23:37):
I've been thinking about getting a bottle opener, but I
always forget totally.
Speaker 3 (23:41):
That's the world factor. One of my favorite gifts to
see you for my birthday was a microwave, really cheap
one from Kmart. There was just like.
Speaker 2 (23:47):
Smimmick all love a practical and it's just like somebody
I had. I kept banging on about. I was like,
I need to get a microwave, but I didn't realize
anyone was like paying attention. I was just like constantly
complaining And then I got.
Speaker 3 (23:57):
A microwave for my birthday and I was like, this
is the best. It makes you feel. So scene. So yeah, I.
Speaker 2 (24:02):
Actually agree, not that that's like any small feet, like
it's quite expensive, but it's like no, but.
Speaker 3 (24:06):
It's not the point you felt heard and you felt seen.
Speaker 2 (24:09):
Totally felt seen, and so I think that absolutely makes sense.
Like if you realize that someone needs something, even if
it's like a spatula.
Speaker 4 (24:16):
Like whatever, it is that my creepy notes section. That's
so cute, so important. There was one study where recipients
actually rated the gift of a pair of socks that
they'd asked for as more thoughtful than surprise jewelry.
Speaker 3 (24:33):
Yeah, totally scene. So much to this, that's crazy, Like
you relate the pay attention to what people say pay attention,
keep a creepy note, sat, Yes, I completely agree. So
what are we going to do instead?
Speaker 4 (24:45):
Huh, We're going to swap expensive practical with a personal twist.
So choose something that they'll actually use and add a note.
So this is where your card comes in handy that
shows you thought about them. Oh my gosh, I I
just noticed that, Xyz. Because even if it's not a
incredible gift that they're like, oh my god, like Beck
(25:06):
thought I didn't have this, but I actually did.
Speaker 3 (25:09):
It's the thought.
Speaker 4 (25:10):
Yeah, a gift card for their favorite cafe plus a
little handwritten note is going to beat any random luxury buy.
I promise, absolutely completely agree. What else we have on
the list? All right, so the whole fact at tas Okay,
I told you these we're going to be lame, I
told you, but hopefully you remember them. So that's when
the gift costs more than it's worth to the recipient. Yeah, okay,
(25:32):
so what does that actually mean? So maybe you've splashed
out one hundred and twenty bucks on like a gadget
or like a novelty, thinking this is going to land
as like a whole gift on the day, but instead
they didn't even open the box and it's like the
end of January and money has gone down the drain.
Speaker 3 (25:50):
Yeah, yeah, that is shit, I know. So why does
this happen?
Speaker 4 (25:55):
This one happens literally when there's a misalignment between what
you think they'll value and what they actually do value,
and givers often chase surprise or like spectacle, and the
misfire then happens because you're shopping from your perspective, not
their perspective.
Speaker 3 (26:10):
You didn't actually put yourself in their shoes. And that's
why we say pay attention and keep a creepy notes list.
Speaker 2 (26:16):
Yees.
Speaker 3 (26:16):
So there was actually an economist.
Speaker 4 (26:18):
So his name's Joel Wold fugle Oh yep, I wanted
to call him Joel Wold frugal, but oh, how.
Speaker 3 (26:27):
You say it? They is so clearly good that it
wasn't anyway.
Speaker 4 (26:30):
He studied holiday gifting and found recipients typically value gifts
at ten to thirty percent less than.
Speaker 3 (26:36):
What the giver actually paid.
Speaker 4 (26:37):
Ah, so goal, you better be getting your Christmas presents
on sale because your friends are assuming they were discounted.
And this gap is just pure waste and honestly proof
that the whole factor spending often completely misses the mark
because the giver and the recipient aren't aligned on what
is actually meaningful, on what these things actually mean?
Speaker 3 (26:58):
So what are we going to do instead? But you're
going to close the gap? So stick to wish lists?
Speaker 4 (27:03):
Yeah, stick to practical upgrades, maybe consumables or shared experiences,
which are one of my favorite things to gift people. These,
I would say, align better with what people actually want
so that your money isn't ending up in the regift pile. Yeah, yeah, honestly, Like,
I'm so sorry, but also I believe in regifting.
Speaker 2 (27:21):
Yeah, I totally agree. If you've got it, you know
someone else will value it, Why the hell not? Okay,
what's next on the list?
Speaker 3 (27:28):
All right?
Speaker 4 (27:28):
So the done but not done twitch? Okay, Okay, you've
had it before. I know you've had it before. Your becksied.
You just care too much? Oh so like you when
you go shopping for jess A's presence, Yes, and then
they're all in front of you and you're like, I'm
not done though, Oh my god, totally I need to
get something else, yes, like tell yourself you're finished. And
(27:48):
then you're like, oh, just twitching for one more thing,
Like I just want to add another thing to the
other to the Christmas tree, or I just want to
make sure that you know just has another thing under
the tree, or like you know the twitch. Oh yeah,
you just have an overwhelming kill feeling that it's not
enough even the bloody is. Yes, you've wrapped like your
last present, you ticked the list, you even bragged to
(28:09):
all your friends.
Speaker 3 (28:10):
I'm done make Christmas shopping early.
Speaker 4 (28:12):
Sit down, But then you see a perfect little extra
or oh you worry that the pile once it's all
wrap doesn't look as good under the tree You're like,
that looks a little bit thin. And suddenly you're topping
up right until Christmas Eve, which is so dumb because.
Speaker 3 (28:26):
That wasn't part of the plan. And if top of
one person, you got top of everyone.
Speaker 4 (28:30):
Joy and psychologists you literally call it the shopping momentum effect.
Like you made one purchase, you're more likely to make another,
even if it's completely unrelated. Yep, So that first yes,
and this is again something that I teach my small
business friends.
Speaker 3 (28:46):
We're just trying to get that first yes.
Speaker 4 (28:48):
You're trying to get over the first hurdle, right, but
that first yes flips your brain into buying mode and
then each check out gives you a little bit of
a dopamine hit, especially if you're like Beck and I.
Speaker 3 (29:00):
Spendy. We love a little bit of a dobamin here. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
but it reinforces that loop. Right.
Speaker 4 (29:06):
Weeks of gift hunting have trained your little brain into
a habit see buy, reward repeat. Even when the list
is finished, the urge to keep buying lingers. It's a
bit like a fantomic. Yes, I get it, but we
want to keep spending. It was fun, it's fun.
Speaker 3 (29:22):
It's so fun.
Speaker 4 (29:23):
It's so fun. And then let's add in like decision fatigue.
And then all of the social pressure that you're finding
exists during Christmas time, which is why you should delete
socials over Christmas. What if the pile looks too small
by that? What if someone gives me more than I
gave them? Yeah, And then the constant cues from all
your ads on social media and the like twitch to
(29:44):
overspend almost becomes automatic.
Speaker 3 (29:46):
Yeah, you just go, oh, I have to in your head,
you have to, and it's so yeah, it just stays
in there. It just grows and grows.
Speaker 4 (29:54):
And researchers once run an experiment where people bought a
tiny item like a key chain, and found that they
were far more likely to buy another unrelated product straight after.
Speaker 3 (30:07):
That makes sense.
Speaker 4 (30:08):
That makes sense, yep, And there's like brain imaging studies
that back this up. Making a purchase triggers a real
quick burst of dopamine. So we're not just saying, oh,
it feels good because we've made it up in our heads. No, no, no,
we literally release dopamine yep, Like it's the feel good
hormone in our body, but it gives us this quick
(30:28):
burst of dopamine in your brain's reward center and the hive. Sorry,
it doesn't last very long, which is why you like
a little bit twitchy for another buy, even.
Speaker 3 (30:38):
When your list is completely done. Back, Oh my god,
how do we avoid this? I don't know. We've got
to be less impulsive, but like, it just feels so good,
feel good. What are we going to do instead?
Speaker 4 (30:47):
Tell me when the list is done, move leftover budget
to savings, or invest it because like when it's invested,
as you know, it feels even worse to pull it
out of that. Yeah, and that's going to add some
friction to other purchase because you've removed your card or
you've deleted the apps, or like sorry, we're actually all done,
Like there's another hurdle in the way for me to
(31:07):
actually add another present to this pile because I actually
don't have any cash. I'm gonna have to transfer it back.
Like create hurdles to yourself. And then also wrap everything
early and put it under the tree to signal to
your brain that the job is done, you're complete, Like
we do not have to do anything else, because I
think so many times for me, it's out of sight,
out of mind, just like in you know, the shopping
bags in my study, and I know I need to
(31:29):
get to wrapping it, but I haven't, and then I
forget what's in the shopping bags in the study, Like
I forgot, and then it doesn't feel like a big
enough pile even there that I think I have to continue. Yes,
And we're also going to switch the ritual, so every
time you feel the little twitch, we're going to do
a little festive tasks. Good idea, you're a bake, We're
gonna put it on a Christmas song. We maybe are
going to watch a Christmas movie or like write Christmas cards,
(31:51):
because how many of us leave all of those to
Christmas Eve?
Speaker 3 (31:54):
As well. Yes, a Christmas card? Okay, what's last on
your list?
Speaker 4 (31:59):
Okay, so it's the last minute markup, so rude, spending
more because you left it too late to properly order
it online for the most discounted price dogs. Yeah, Like
I mean we also need to make sure that if
we are doing this, like for example, if we're going
into JB High Fight to pick up something last minute, girl,
(32:19):
they price match, Yes, so you make sure you're doing
your research because the last minute markup is so rude
because you miss the shipping cutoffs, all the early sales,
and suddenly you're paying premium prices just to get something
in time so that you don't look like a terrible
person or a terrible friend, even though that's not the
case at all. That might mean copying like Express post fees,
so you might still be getting it online, be like
(32:40):
I need to pay for Express Post, yeah, or settling
for like the last overpriced option on the shelf, or
panic buying a more expensive gift because the cheaper ones
are all sold out. I meant to get them this
like small gift pack with two items in it, but
the only one left over is like the four pa
I'll just get the four pack, like, oh's exactly that's it,
(33:02):
And you know what happens, yes, tell me.
Speaker 2 (33:04):
So.
Speaker 4 (33:04):
As the deadline looms, decision making gets mess cy, we
get more stressed, and we're stressy. With less time and
fewer good options left, your brain literally prioritizes getting it
done over getting it right. Just buy it, just do
it because I'm stressed. And psychologists call this time pressure
decision making. When we're rushed, we lean on their easiest solution,
(33:28):
and it's often overpriced. How many times and I know
you've done this, if you've been like, I am so stressed.
I just need to get to this appointment. I need
to get to this location. I'm going to park somewhere.
I might get a fine.
Speaker 3 (33:39):
Oh yeah, every day because you're like, I.
Speaker 4 (33:42):
Know it's going to be expensive, but I just I
don't have a lot of You feel like your decision
making is taken away from you totally, totally. That's we
don't want that. No layer in gift giving guilt. Yeah,
so you're feeling bad already, like, oh my god, I
can't arrive empty handed. Go You're just gonna grab whatever's
left on the shelf and pay for express shipping just
so that it solves your stress in that moment. It
(34:04):
creates future you problems exactly. Oh and you know what,
this isn't just me going oh, I feel this and
I want to share it. Research on consumer behavior shows
that when people shop under tight deadlines, they become far
more likely to just choose the easy option rather than
the one that is of best value.
Speaker 3 (34:21):
And that's why.
Speaker 4 (34:22):
Florist's and delivery apps make an absolute mint on Christmas Eve.
It's not the price, it's the panic.
Speaker 3 (34:30):
You're like, I just gotta get it done.
Speaker 4 (34:32):
I'm just going to pick up some flowers on Christmas Eve.
Oh my god, how kind is this Flora's to be
open on Christmas Eve?
Speaker 2 (34:39):
I know, I know.
Speaker 3 (34:41):
Oh, that's so nice of them to be open.
Speaker 4 (34:43):
Yeah, it's one of their biggest trading days of the
years because we're all useless. Beck, Oh my god, they
are smart.
Speaker 3 (34:49):
So what are you going to do? Instead?
Speaker 4 (34:50):
You're going to plan a cut off for yourself that's
earlier than the real one. Yeah, I have to gaslight
myself this year. It turns out Christmas weird. I need
to have everything done by the fifteenth of December. Yes,
we're early we're ten days early. It has to be
done by then, because in my head, I like literally
have it in my calendar Christmas shopping done here, Like
(35:12):
I've put account down, like we are making sure that
everything is done by then. Or if you know you're
a last minute girly, because some of us are, I
would predecide a go to gift category, So like what's
your default? Is it going to be a voucher? Is
it going to be an experience? Is it going to
be some type of consumable so that you're not paying
(35:32):
the desperation tax?
Speaker 3 (35:33):
So you know, Okay, well I've left it too late.
This is my default option that still fits within my budget, and.
Speaker 4 (35:39):
I'm going to get back that instead because I can't
get the thing I actually wanted to get her.
Speaker 3 (35:44):
Yeah, and we're not paying a premium on that.
Speaker 2 (35:47):
This has been extremely helpful and every single thing is
a personal attack, very relatable, and I would try to
go as well.
Speaker 4 (35:57):
I get it absolutely, and you know why I knew
all those things. I suffer from all these things.
Speaker 2 (36:02):
Well, okay, so that was the last one on the lists,
and I've got to admit I feel a little bit
better about facing the Christmas chaos.
Speaker 3 (36:07):
Start your creepy list in your notes app right now.
Start it right now, Write down all.
Speaker 4 (36:11):
Of the names you need to buy force and then
start brainstorming ideas under it. Doesn't mean you need to
buy every single item under that, but you could be like, oh,
my goodness, like earrings for Jess or oh, I really
want to get her this, like all that, and then
you might pick a couple of those options. Yes, and
then don't delete the note. Keep it for her birthday,
keep it for like future things exactly exactly.
Speaker 3 (36:32):
Just because it's on the list.
Speaker 4 (36:33):
And you think is a really good gift doesn't mean
it isn't a really good gift for later totally future.
Speaker 3 (36:38):
You a winner.
Speaker 2 (36:39):
Oh yeah, so I think let's leave it here, let's
put a pin in it, Let's go back our list
and check it twice.
Speaker 3 (36:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (36:46):
And I guess that's why I love doing episodes like this,
because once you know what these little spending.
Speaker 3 (36:51):
Traps are, you're like, oh, there's so many pillatives.
Speaker 4 (36:54):
You get to take some of your power back and
you can still lean into I guess, the fun and
the generosity of the FIRSTIFC and make sure that you're
spending on your own terms. Guys, if this episode gave
you a little bit of a Christmas confidence boost, I
would love it if you sent it to a friend
who's also really trying hard not to blow the budget
this Christmas, because it might put them in a better position.
(37:16):
And don't forget to follow or subscribe so that you
don't miss what's coming up next.
Speaker 3 (37:20):
We've got plenty more.
Speaker 4 (37:21):
Episodes on Christmas, but also to help you kick off
the new year feeling come confident and in control of
your money.
Speaker 3 (37:28):
And we'll see you guys on Friday.
Speaker 5 (37:29):
Bye. The ad buy shared on She's on the Money
is general in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances.
She's on the Money exists purely for educational purposes and
should not be relied upon to make an investment or
financial decision. If you do choose to buy a financial product,
(37:52):
read the PDS TMD and obtain appropriate financial.
Speaker 3 (37:55):
Advice tailored towards your needs.
Speaker 5 (37:57):
Victoria Divine and She's on the Money, Authorized Representatives of
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