Drowning in Debt and Stuck in Her Marriage... Here's How She Finally Left

What happens when love fades but the debt remains?  This weeks money diarist found herself caught between what her heart knew and what her bank account wouldn’t allow. With her finances tangled and the exit door feeling impossibly far away, she stayed longer than she wanted — not because she didn’t want to leave, but because she didn’t know how she could afford to. This is a story about quiet resilience and the slow work of reclaiming your independence. 

Content Warning:
This episode discusses themes of emotional abuse, financial control and threatened suicide. 1800RESPECT is available 24/7 for confidential support at 1800 737 732 or 1800respect.org.au. or In an emergeny or if you are feeling unsafe always call 000. 

If you’re feeling trapped by debt or financial hardship, you can contact the National Debt Helpline at 1800 007 007 or visit ndh.org.au for free, confidential advice.

Acknowledgement of Country By Natarsha Bamblett aka Queen Acknowledgements.

The advice shared on She's On The Money is general in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's On The Money exists purely for educational purposes and should not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision. If you do choose to buy a financial product, read the PDS, TMD and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored towards your needs.  Victoria Devine and She's On The Money are authorised representatives of Money Sherpa PTY LTD ABN - 321649 27708,  AFSL - 451289.

 

 

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello.

Speaker 2 (00:01):
My name is Satasha Nabananga Bamblet. I'm a proud or
the Order Kerni Whoaltbury and a waddery woman. And before
we get started on She's on the Money podcast, I
would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land
of which this podcast is recorded on a wondery country,
acknowledging the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming through.

(00:23):
As this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing and
the storytelling of you to make a difference for today
and lasting impact for tomorrow.

Speaker 1 (00:33):
Let's get into it.

Speaker 3 (00:34):
She's on the Money, She's on the Money.

Speaker 4 (00:57):
Hello, and welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast
that lets you be perfy about other people's money habits
for educational purposes of course. Welcome back to another one
of my money diaries. And I have to give you
a little quick apology for my voice today because it
is a little bit raspy. But I never want to
cancel on a money diarist. So we're here with bells

(01:18):
on and a kchy voice like we are channeling Phoebe
from Friends today and I am hoping that you'll stick
with me. But as you guys know, Money Diaries are
one of my favorite episodes of the week. I feel
so internally grateful that I get to share people's money
stories with our community. Before I get into reading out
this week's email, I just wanted to issue a little
bit of a content warning. In this episode, we are

(01:41):
going to be talking about financial and emotional abuse, and
that topic does involve threatened suicide. And this week I
got an email and it went like this, Dear, she's
on the money. I'm reaching out after listening to your
recent podcast episode about the community member concerned she can't
leave her marriage because of financial sircumstances. Having been in

(02:01):
the same situation, I want to be able to share
my story in the hopes that it might help others
in the community. At twenty three, I was in tens
of thousands of dollars of debt, well being the emotional
and financial support for my husband. Now at twenty eight,
I have a wonderful, loving partner, a slalid share portfolio,
and have just bought a house. Money Diarist, I'm so

(02:24):
excited about this, but like more excited because you reached
out after hearing that someone in our community was struggling
with something and you were like, oh, sit down, like,
let me take the wheel. I've done this before. Let
me share my story so that you can learn from.

Speaker 1 (02:38):
Isn't that beautiful to stop my heart?

Speaker 4 (02:41):
But it's true, Like that's why you reached out, is
it not?

Speaker 1 (02:44):
Yeah, definitely, Honestly, I was striving and I was like
I usually I pulled up at the shop and I
was like, I have to send them a message because
it just broke my heart knowing exactly how that feels,
and it's not like a unique experience, unfortunately, And I
was like, hopefully if I can help one, I would
absolutely love to.

Speaker 4 (03:02):
And I'm so glad we're getting you on the show
because we had so many people reply to our Instagram
stories about that as well, and we're just like, oh
my goodness, this was me twenty years ago, this was
me five years ago, or this was me. But like
the best part about it is these women were all
like by the way, I'm thriving, like let them know.
And I think that's my favorite part, Like when I
get to go through our Instagram dms and screenshot all

(03:23):
of your positive messages and send them to our you know,
anonymous question asker and be like Hey, just so you know,
like the community is not just like backing you, but
like they see you and they get it, and you
know you can reach out to any of these people.
Were like, I'm not going to spoil the anonymous nature
that's on you anyway. I just I feel so special
that you were like, hey, let me share my whole story.

(03:43):
I'll come on the pod. Like that is elite. So
money dost, let's dive straight in. I want to know.
I ask all of my money diris the same question
at the start of every episode. If I asked you
to give your money habits a grade from A through
to F, what would you grade your.

Speaker 1 (04:00):
I'm going to give myself an A. I think I've
kind of got it down.

Speaker 4 (04:03):
Pat, Yeah, I love this well. Can you tell me
a bit more about your money story? Now?

Speaker 1 (04:08):
Yes, I'd say growing up, money was talked about a
little bit, not too much. Both my parents worked for
the government and government jobs, so not like high income earners,
and I have what feels like one hundred and one siblings,
so they definitely had some like financial strain at that
point in time. I know they tried really hard to
educate us on money as best as they could, so,

(04:31):
you know, as soon as getting like a first job,
we had to pay board, and then they would do
things like a certain portion of that would go to
like donations to charity, that kind of thing. And then
the best, most heartwarming part I think of all of
it was that my parents never ever told us that
they saved it all for us, and then when we
were older, they would give it back to us. They're
the best, honestly, so good what honeys?

Speaker 4 (04:51):
So, tell me a little bit more about your money story.
So obviously had a relatively positive money upbringing, but then
you're becoming an adult. What does that look like?

Speaker 1 (05:01):
Yeah, So, unfortunately for me, I guess some of the
trauma started before I was an adult, which is a
bit concerning. So first of all, good things being that
I started my first job when I was fourteen nine months,
got in there with saving, had some good money habits
already again, didn't understand the concept of tax and I
had a manager or an employer who liked to pay

(05:21):
people cash in hand, and at the time I didn't realize,
you know the implications of that, not having super being
paid that kind of thing. Then, when I was seventeen,
I met a man who was twenty five, and he
had worked in a shop near where I worked, and
he was interested in me, and we ended up starting dating,
which obviously very decent age gap there.

Speaker 4 (05:44):
You would have thought that was so fancy. At seventeen,
you would have been like, this man is mature.

Speaker 1 (05:51):
I was talking to my partner about this last night
and I said, I just remember being like, oh my gosh,
it's so cool, like he's so grown up. Wow, I
love that.

Speaker 4 (05:58):
And he thinks I'm mature.

Speaker 1 (06:00):
Yeah, and he's got money, he's got a job, like
this is so cool, which obviously like not cool now.
And now I was a grown hospital and I can.

Speaker 4 (06:08):
Be like, oh, that feels a bit wrong.

Speaker 1 (06:10):
Yeah. I remember being like when I was twenty five
and being like, oh my gosh, I can't believe that
this man was interested in a seventeen year old.

Speaker 4 (06:18):
You're like, this feels like a red flag now, how strange.

Speaker 1 (06:21):
Oh gosh, so many red flags. It's not even funny.
But look, so I started to see this guy, met him,
and like it wasn't even to I only ever had
like two people ever say anything about the age gap,
and they were people that were in my year at school.
That I went friends with, so obviously I was like, Oh,
they're just jealous, or they're just whatever, or and so
I didn't think like anything of it. No one ever

(06:42):
said anything about it to me.

Speaker 4 (06:44):
Like not even your family or with like your parents
or anyone.

Speaker 1 (06:47):
No. And that's the thing is, I think that maybe
at one point they tried to express concern as best
as they could, but it wasn't necessarily the best.

Speaker 4 (06:56):
Oh you're seventeen, you're not listening.

Speaker 1 (06:58):
Yeah. I remember once asking her saying, you know, why
didn't you stop me? And this was at the point
when I'd already been married, and she was like, even
if I tried, like you were such a determined woman,
I don't think you would have listened to me. And
I think it would have made you run faster towards it.

Speaker 4 (07:14):
I mean, smart woman, because she knows you.

Speaker 1 (07:17):
Yeah, yeah, she does. She does better than anyone I
would say. Yeah. So basically, at sixteen seventeen, I got
my first car and I had my first thousand dollars
for it that i'd saved up through work, and then
my parents had loaned me the remaining I think it
was four thousand. I want to say three or four
thousand dollars, So I started paying that off and then

(07:39):
I started going out with this guy, and I remember thinking,
oh my gosh, he's got it all together, like he
knows what he's doing with his money. Blah blah blah.
We went out on our first date and I remembering like,
oh my gosh, I can order anything on the menu,
Like this is so crazy. And I think the bill
came to something like one hundred and fifty dollars.

Speaker 4 (07:57):
But that feels crazy.

Speaker 1 (07:58):
Yeah, honestly, it felt like so much money and he
just you know, he just paid the bill and it
was no problem. I was like, amazing. And then later
I actually found out at that exact point in time,
it was like the last one hundred and fifty dollars
in his bank account, and he was thinking he wasn't
actually going to be able to afford the bill. So
he one hundred percent love bombed me, Like now I
can see that for sure. Within two weeks of like,

(08:19):
you know, going out, it was like I love you,
like genuinely, and under two weeks said that he loved me,
and then by like the third or fourth week, he
had this mental snap and he just went from being
you know, seemingly like functionally had his life together to
very mentally unwell, you know, not coping with life, very

(08:40):
like depressed and down anxious, which now I can see
and say like he was always like that, and how
much of that was calculated, I wouldn't be able to
say for sure. So then throughout that year, I was
in year twelve, I was dating him throughout that year,
and I think that was the first thing kind of
put my money off a bit. And I can't obviously
I can't blame all of that on him, but I

(09:00):
think that I was trying to keep up with him
at what he was doing, So I was spending a
lot of money. I keep in mind, I think at
that point in time, earning something like fifteen dollars an
hour at the cafe, Like it's not big money.

Speaker 4 (09:12):
Yeah, but that's everything that you have, and keeping up
with a full time adult lifestyle when you're a child
who's just earning essentially pocket money is a big ask.

Speaker 1 (09:23):
Yeah, ridiculous, absolutely ridiculous. Then fast forward after that, I
guess I went through high school, I started university, and
I at this point so just before starting UNI actually,
so I guess the end of that year. I was eighteen,
and it was a month after my eighteenth birthday and
I was going to get a credit card. It was
a one thousand dollars credit card and it was just

(09:44):
for fun spending, like nothing important at all, and I
very very quickly maxed it out. That's what I learned about,
like you know how you can I was got overdraft. Yeah,
and I remember going into calls and it was like
two dollars over and it went through and I was like,
oh my gosh, I can do this. I was like,
I can take more money. And then I remember trying
again and then it being rejected and I was like, oh,
and I don't have any money left in my bank account.

(10:06):
So there was that he had a car loan and
when I was eighteen, so very soon after that we decided,
I see that it was a really good idea to consolidate.

Speaker 4 (10:17):
Oh perfect, Yeah, so great thinkin know what from his perspective,
that's genius. What a man.

Speaker 1 (10:23):
I honestly, again, talking to my partner last night, we
were talking about how dangerous the manipulation was and it
was so much like it was all the time, and
I wonder, like I think for a memory that was
my idea to go, well, how about you know, we
do this, we join it, I'll help. You're stressed about that,
But it's like, how much of that was premeditated or
was it you know, he knew he knew what he
was doing when he said yes, he absolute knew what

(10:45):
he was doing, But whether or not he was planned
out beforehand, Like it's just crazy.

Speaker 4 (10:49):
But even if it wasn't planned out beforehand, Like let's
say that you're just like the nicest person in the
entire world and he hadn't dropped any bombs and you
could literally just see that he was strung. And I
feel like in a lot of relationships, like you just
want the best for your partner at the time, right
because like I'm sure you were head over heels in love.
You're like, oh my goodness, this is stressing you. Let
me help. At that point, he's meant to be the

(11:12):
mature one that says, nah, like this is my thing
to deal with. You're a child that has just come
out of you know, school, don't worry about that. Like,
you know, maybe if we were married or something, we
could have these conversations, because it's like way down the line,
but like, why are you essentially taking on your boyfriend's debt.
One it could have been kindness, but like he took
your kindness for weakness and took advantage of it. And

(11:35):
like it doesn't matter whose idea it was, he took
it and ran with it.

Speaker 1 (11:39):
Yeah, I know, and it's so terrible when honestly, when
reflecting on all of his stuff this week, I couldn't.
It was so hard to track down all the different
things and to try and properly timeline it because it
has been quite a while. But it's crazy just to
reflect on all the things that happened. Yes, so took
on his debt, and then shortly after decided it was
a great idea to join finances, which worked out really

(12:01):
really well.

Speaker 4 (12:01):
Were you living together at this point or were you
joining finances and you're not even living together?

Speaker 1 (12:07):
No, we didn't live together at this point.

Speaker 4 (12:09):
But you had joint finances, yes, wild but okay, I know,
I mean, each to their own, but like, there does
not seem to be any benefit for both people in
this relationship right now.

Speaker 1 (12:20):
No, not at all, not at all. So yeah, that
was a bit of fun. Took on our debt joint finances,
and then I started UNI. So with UNI, I was
doing like full time hours of work while doing full
time study. And then throughout this time, like his mental
health was constantly fluctuating, as it did throughout our whole relationship,
and we ended up getting engaged so within at the

(12:44):
end of my first year of UNI. To do that,
we took on more debt. So I can't actually remember
one hundred percent how much we took on at this
point in time, but we consolidated what was already there.
We then took on and at least the seven thousand
dollars that paid for my engagement ring, and then there

(13:05):
was like a few other little bits of money. I
can't remember what it was for, but there was a
little bit. So at that point it was at least
seventeen grand I think it was closer to nineteen at
that point. Then I ended up starting at a different university.
I've changed degrees, and there was lots of commuting, there
was car problems, and then living together again. Can hardly

(13:28):
afford anything, really, because I'm a unique student. I changed
degrees and it gets to the end of my first
year of my new degree and I didn't have enough
money to afford to renew my regio. So I sold
my car, ended up using combination of my money and
I think some of the loan to then buy two
new cars, because you know, he couldn't afford to keep

(13:48):
his car, so we sold his as well. Got two
new cars that had constant issues, were absolute trash and
required so much more money to go into them to
kind of repair and keep them going. After that, we
ended up getting married, So the following year we got married.
Now after the wedding, I think I was so fatigued
from all of that planning, so I basically said to him, Hey,
can you take over doing some of this money management

(14:09):
stuff because I can't do it. I'm so tired. I
got too much with UNI, and he said yeah, sure,
And then it kind of turned out that he wasn't
actually managing our money. He was just kind of like
watching it leave our bank account. But I remember I
became a parent when I was at UNI that our
finances were really, really bad, and I'd always said no
Toice Center Link and I finally was like, no, I'm

(14:30):
going to do it. And it was just my own bias
that had helped me back in the first place about it,
But that then meant that I got student startup loans
at the start. I believe it's the start of the
semester when you get them, not the start of the year.
I had a look at the balance yesterday and that
ended up being twenty two hundred and seventy three dollars
for that debt. And I got audited and they were like, okay,
so you should have been reporting your partner's income. And

(14:52):
I was like, oh, but I reached out to you
and I had said that the website wasn't letting me
track his income, and they were like, oh, yeah, no, no,
that was a web error on our part. You should
have been tracking his income. And they were like, you've
got to pay back everything that we have given you
because you don't qualify because we were married. So they
looked at our income as combined, and they ended up

(15:12):
letting me do forty dollars a fortnight was what I
ended up paying, and that was like scraping the bottom
of the barrel. So yeah, there was paying all of
that back. I remember first wanting to leave him three
months after our wedding. It was the first time I
was like, holy shit, I have made a terrible mistake,
and I think It just got to this point after

(15:34):
our wedding, when I was hanging out with two male
friends of mine. One was gay, one's not, and he
got really really jealous and really insecure about the friend
who was straight, and was just like, this man is
a threat to me. And he did like a whole
lot of horrible things, the manipulation and telling my family
lies about me and saying I was cheating on him

(15:55):
and that kind of thing, and really trying to isolate
me from my family, trying to get them on his
side and not be on my side because I, you know,
I was a terrible person who did the bad thing.
It was at that point that I was like I
can't do this anymore. And I remember reaching out to
my parents and being like, I can't do this. I
need to come and stay with you. And I think
this is the one thing that I know that they

(16:15):
would have felt terrible about. It now is something I've
touched on with my mum since then, but at the
time they had said like, no, this is something that
you two need to sort out between yourselves. I tried
reaching out for help and I was like, I can't
do this, and it wasn't there, and I had no
one else to turn to, and I remember looking at
my finances going, I am in so much debt and
I have no way to pay it off, and I

(16:37):
can't afford to do this on my own. So after
that point, it was like setting constant goals. So it
was like, you know, I'll wait till the end of
the lease, or I'll wait till the end of semester,
and I was setting these constant goals for myself to
be like I will break up with him at this point.
But at that point in time, I think that was
the first time I realized I have no money and

(16:58):
I'm stuck here and I can't get out of this
without him.

Speaker 4 (17:01):
That's so stressful, and like it makes my heart break
that you're like trying to set goals into the future
to be like, Okay, I can leave here, and like
I'm sure there are people listening going, oh my god,
that's me right now, or that was me, and like
it sucks so much because you knew what you wanted,
but knew you couldn't have it yet because like your

(17:21):
safety was compromised, or you know, you weren't sure how
you'd be financially stable, and I just I just never
want women to be in that position, Like I want
everyone to be in a position where money dised. If
you were like, I'm out, I would have been like, yes, queen,
you're like, well, I already packed my bags and I'm gone.
Like I just want people to have the ability to
leave any situation they don't want to be in. And

(17:42):
I just know that that's it's not the reality, is it.

Speaker 1 (17:45):
No, it's not at all. And I think I agree
with you so much, Like I don't ever want anybody
to be stuck in a situation like that ever, because
it was horrible. It was a terrible situation that he
was really not a nice man, right, he was so
good that I remember my sister being like to me,
you know, like it's okay, you just need to like
apologize for what you've done and you know, just acknowledge it.
You guys can like can move on from there. Blah

(18:06):
blah blah.

Speaker 4 (18:07):
Absolutely not.

Speaker 1 (18:08):
And it actually wasn't until I'm going to say a
year after that that one of my sisters reached out
to me and was like, I am so sorry. I've
had people talking about my personal life and interfering with
my life. And I realized that maybe what you were
saying to me was true. And I'm so sorry I
didn't believe you, but I think to yeah, just to
have a bit of support and have someone in your
corner to go actually, I see you.

Speaker 4 (18:27):
So did this man know that you wanted to leave?
Like were you having these arguments that were like I
want to leave or whatever, or was it just like
you're in the background quietly building a plan to get
out of this situation, but you just didn't share that
with him.

Speaker 1 (18:40):
Yet with the first big blow up, So I had
suggested at one point I said, Okay, well, look, if
you're basically going to control all of the affection, would
you consider an open relationship And he had said flat
out no, I don't when you're doing that, blah blah
blah blah blah. So I think that was one conversation
I tried to have because I was like, I want
to be with you, but you know, there's this whole

(19:01):
part of our relationship that's lacking. To be honest with you,
I don't think he knew that I wanted to leave
until with that big fight, and like with a lot
of those big fights, with that whole situation, a few weeks.
At that point was the first time I packed a bag.
He got really really aggressive. He had one of his
more aggressive outbursts, and he'd you know, smashed up a
whole part of our house, throwing a whole bunch of

(19:22):
my stuff out. Was really really threatening. Oh my god,
I think it was that time was the first time
I'd ever physically felt really unsafe with him, And I
think that was kind of what triggered me to say,
come done. And I packed a bag and I was like,
I'm going, and I think I wasn't home, I'm going
to say for two nights until he had been like
just come home, just come home, blah blah blah blah blah,
and then I'd end up going back. So I think

(19:42):
that's the only time he knew quite typical that after that,
any time that I was, you know, wanted to leave
or had conversations about it, it was instantly threatening suicide
and self harm and then talking about, look what you've
done to my mental health, which was the constant cycle
of our entire relationship.

Speaker 4 (19:57):
And that's heavy, like that is not fair and for
anyone listening, that is not your responsibility. And I know
that that sounds dramatic, and it feels like it is
your responsibility in that moment. If somebody threatens suicide in
your relationship, take them seriously and call an ambulance, like seriously,
if anyone is going to threaten that, be like, okay, cool,

(20:20):
thank you for sharing that with me. I am going
to do everything I can to support you, because in
these situations, people can sometimes use it, as they did
for you money Dirist, as a manipulation tactic, because I
can almost guarantee that that was never their intention, because
they thought that would scare you, not force you into action.
When he was doing things like threatening suicide. Were you

(20:43):
taking that seriously or did you kind of think, oh,
this is him being manipulative, or like how were you
seeing it in that moment, especially being so young.

Speaker 1 (20:52):
Yeah, no, I believed him. One of the first times
that it really happened, you know, took him up to hospital,
went and got him like a mental health assessment, and
then you know, tried to get some things in place,
and then as it went on, he was unwell. And
I do think there are times that he was a
genuine threat to himself. But again I say that, and
it's also that was always timed very well. When I

(21:12):
was doing something well, something in my life was going well,
and that was often when this would happen. So whether
or not that was pure manipulation, or if it was,
you know, he genuinely was like that and you know,
very jealous or couldn't cope with somebody else having any
kind of life success, like, I don't know. Towards the
end it was much more I guess, clinical, whereas earlier

(21:35):
on it was just absolute fear that the person I
loved was going to die.

Speaker 4 (21:39):
Yeah, absolutely, and like that unfortunately was the intention. Oh yeah,
that's exactly what he was trying to do to keep
you around. And it's so sad, and I don't want
people thinking that. You know, Victoria doesn't take that seriously,
I absolutely do. But I've also deeply studied narcissists, and
that's what they do. Like they want you in a
position where you don't feel like you can leave because

(22:01):
they're suddenly feeling like you're losing control or they're losing
control of the circumstance. And to gain back control, they
need to gain back power over you, and to gain
that power, they threaten their lives and it's so messed
up because mental health is something that we need to
take so seriously. But I think that a lot of
the time they don't think you're going to take this seriously.

(22:21):
They think you're going to be scared and not do
anything and go, oh my god, please don't do that.
I love you, It's all good, don't worry. But the
reality is the way we need to be responding to
that in an ideal world is doing exactly what you
were doing towards the end. Right, get in the car,
We're going to hospital.

Speaker 1 (22:37):
And I think too, like the one big thing as well,
is like, it's not your fault their mental health and
their behavior, especially like in cases like this, it's not
actually on you, like it's on them. It's their behavior
at the end of the day, Like it wasn't my
fault for doing well in UNI or in life, you know,
to make him feel that way, it's not on me.
And I think that took a long time to actually accept.

Speaker 4 (22:57):
So talk to me, you God, through all of this,
you still hadn't left. How did you ultimately end up leaving?

Speaker 1 (23:04):
So I finished my degree, I moved to the city,
and he didn't get a job. So I applied for
every job I remember coming home one day after training
for my job and I sat down and I applied
for him for every single job on every job platform
that you can think of, and sat there with him.
I literally helped redo his resume, got everything up to date,

(23:26):
and basically sat there and was like, is this something
you're interested is this something you're interested in? And went
through and applied for absolutely everything. He said maybe too.
After that he got a job and then started his training,
and I think at this point in time, so this
was we have been married for two and a bit years.
At this point in time, it kind of got to
this point where I started to know is obviously I'm

(23:48):
earning post degree money, so it's a bit more money,
and I was just seeing how much of it was
kind of going to him. At this point in time,
I found like another financial planner, Australian financial planner, who's
you know, used to really this still I'm pretty sure
all over like YouTube and stuff at the time.

Speaker 4 (24:03):
Is that Canna, Yes, yeah, yeah, I love Canna, Yeah yeah.
I was like YouTube YouTube that time, Canna yeah yeah.

Speaker 1 (24:11):
And honestly I learned so much from her about the
importance of, you know, having an emergency fund and you know,
having this extra money and getting yourself out of debt,
it really set a good foundation for me. And that
kind of opened my eyes toir what my financial situation was,
because keep in mind, at this point in time, I
think quit well over thirty thousand dollars in debt. At

(24:31):
that point in.

Speaker 4 (24:32):
Time, Yeah, you would have felt so stuck, like so stuck.

Speaker 1 (24:35):
Oh my gosh, it was terrible. It was so bad.
And I remember him being so angry at me because
I said, look, this is how much money we can
work with to have fun money each and I remember
him being so angry and being like, what do you
mean that's no money to spend it on? Blah blah blah.
This is that's all the stuff I want to do,
but that's no money. And I remember being like, we
don't have any more money, Like this is stretching it
as thin as we can.

Speaker 4 (24:55):
Yeah, exactly where is that coming from?

Speaker 1 (24:56):
We're in debt, Yeah, so much debt. And look, so
I was in my first year of working, like I
was doing well, I'd started my first full time job,
and I think he really really struggled with that. He
just couldn't accept it. And I started to see more
and more like fights were even more constant. That manipulation
and lack of affection again was still so apparent. It

(25:17):
was every day. I remember riding in my calendar an
ex for every day that we didn't have an argument. No,
there were some months with like no days, and I
was like being like, oh, well, if it gets better,
then we'll try and work on it, or if it
stays like this, then I'll leave. So again, constant goal setting.
It got to this point where I was like I
was taking on a lot of that financial responsibility, and

(25:37):
I was like, I actually want some of this money
that I have earned for myself.

Speaker 4 (25:40):
Yeah, of course, and like you deserve that, but you
probably were being talked out of the fact that you did,
because remember, we should be sharing money.

Speaker 1 (25:48):
Did start a business. I was a pet and I
remember saying something about what I now know is a
binding financial agreement. So what I now know is a BFA.
I had literally been like, oh, if my business starts
to kind of take off, I want to kind of
put this into place. And I remember him blowing up
at me because we're married and I should you know,
be in toime to that, Rara, And it's not like,
you know, we're going to break up, and it was
so over the top.

Speaker 4 (26:09):
Oh, no, we are. We are absolutely going to break up.

Speaker 1 (26:12):
Oh honey.

Speaker 4 (26:13):
The reason you're being defensive is you're so worried I'm
going to break up with you because I'm now successful
and you're not going to be able to get a
part of that. Because anyone with their right mind on
that genuinely doesn't relieve they're going to break up. They're like, yeah,
i'll sign your dumb BFA. We don't need it, but
sure like no one else cares.

Speaker 1 (26:30):
Yeah, exactly. If I said that to my partner right now,
he'd be like, cool, let's get it done.

Speaker 4 (26:33):
That's literally what my husband did. When I was like, hey, cool,
so we're going to move in together and I have
a business. He was like, yeah, right, whatever, where do
you want me to sign? And I remember being like
green flag, Yeah, it is a right. I was like,
this is actually very sexy. So you're saying you don't
even care that much about the binding financial agreement because
you just don't think we're going to need it. That

(26:53):
is very hot, It is, right, Yeah, like the things
we find sexy. Now we're a little bit older, we're like, oh, yeah,
so you unloaded the dish without being asked. Wild, Yeah,
it is.

Speaker 1 (27:05):
It's crazy, isn't it. I'd never got the BFA into place.
But then we did eventually like split finances, and as
soon as we split finances, I was able to save
and I started putting aside more and more money, and
I started to build up my emergency fund, which was great.
And also at this point in time, we decided to
consolidate our debt because there was a lot of it.

Speaker 4 (27:25):
And I mean, that's not a terrible idea in the
grand scheme of things, like because you probably were dropping
your interest right and like just getting everything in order right.

Speaker 1 (27:33):
Yes, And honestly, if I hadn't been listening to Canna,
I wouldn't have ever known how high my interest rate was.
It was ridiculous. I wouldn't be able to tell you
what it is now, because keep in mind we'd already consolidated.
I think it was once or twice at this point
in time, so we had two loans. I want to say,
because then I remember looking at it going, oh my gosh,
we can get it. It was something like a nine percent

(27:54):
interest rate with ing or an eight percent with ing,
but they only did at the time single person loan.

Speaker 4 (28:00):
Yeah, so I had to go into one person's name
and it was yours, wasn't it. Yeah, sure, tell me
what happened once it was all in your.

Speaker 1 (28:06):
Name, so all in my name signed to pay things off.
It was going well. I was able to put a
side more money, I was getting a lot more educated,
which was great. And that was when I was like,
I can't do this shit anymore. And I was like,
I'm done. And so I ended up having the conversation.
I said, cool, let's end this. It was a process
and it ended up being one that we double backed on.
I said, okay, fine, let's try it again. That happened

(28:27):
twice within this a three month period, and it got
to this one point I said no, okay. I was like,
we're done. This isn't good for either of us, and
then we broke up. So we lived together for a
few weeks before finding our own places. It was uncomfortable,
it was awkward, of course, it was oh yeah, it's
so rough, like it was just it's not nice. And
I think at this point this is when it was
really easy that when he you know, again, threatened self
harm and I remember just like being like cool, I'd

(28:49):
finished work for the day and I was like great,
just got home and I said, cool, get in the car.
We're going straight to the hospital, and again took him
straight up to the hospital, went there, sat and then
waited him to be seeing SESS, got a plan in place,
and then back home for it all the whole cycle
to play out again. But that was all right. I
think it was just that, you know, getting it done
and just being like I'm not tolerating anymore, like this

(29:09):
just needs to happen, because I think that point, I
finally had this money and I could finally see that
there was an end goal and I could get out
of this. There was a light, Yeah, there was there
was any Look, it shouldn't have taken so long, but
I was like twenty three and I was like, I
can get out of.

Speaker 4 (29:22):
This eye one hundred percent. And this is what frustrates
me so much, and like, I'm glad that your situation wasn't,
you know, as dire as some women's, but like people
who say, why didn't you leave earlier? Like get in
the actual bin? How how was I meant to leave earlier?
And even if I could have left earlier. It's like,
you know how you said before, you know, we tried

(29:44):
it a few times before we did it, Like we
didn't get married with the intention of getting a divorce.
Like there's always that like small little thread of hope
that maybe we could fix this, Like I did fall
in love with this person for a reason. I do
genuinely in in my heart of hearts, I wanted this
to work out. And I think that you have that
little glimmer of optimism, especially when you're not a narcissist.

(30:08):
You're like, oh, like, you know, I believe in the
best in people, and I really think that they could
get through this. But on the flip side, they're like,
I reckon, I could manipulator again, Like it's just the
most cooked situation.

Speaker 1 (30:20):
Literally, and they're very well versed at it. And I think, yeah,
you are. When people say, you know, why don't they
leave sooner? Or you know, he did that once, so
you know surely he's going to do it again, Like
you don't know that at the time, and you've always
got this constant hope that you know, oh, he's going
to get better. It's just his mental health, like he's
going to be okay, We're going to be okay, and no,
like like I'm going to be okay. Now, I'm like,

(30:40):
I'm going to be okay. But at the time I
was in his trap, and I think that's what happens
to so many people, and unfortunately like women in particular.

Speaker 4 (30:49):
Yeah, exactly, all right, let's go to a really quick break.
All right, we are back and you're doing this, you're
living together. It's not very comfortable. What happens next.

Speaker 1 (31:03):
So moving out and he doesn't have any money, so
I lent him. I think it was like a thousand
dollars something like that, fifteen hundred something like that. So
he's got that money, and then you know, I help
him move whatever, and then my life starts going on
a really nice, good, positive trajectory.

Speaker 4 (31:21):
As it should, Yes, as it should.

Speaker 1 (31:24):
I didn't know how bad it all was. Still at
this point in time, I hadn't really seen all the light,
and so we were still talking, still friendly. I finished
a qualified for work, and I moved out regional and
at one point he came back to visit, and I
remember when he did this trip. He was also doing
like a big trip around the state, and he asked
to borrow more money, and I lent him again. I'm

(31:45):
going to say it was about a grand again, So
I lent him money that time. But this is kind
of I guess where for me my financial story starts
to go on out, which is when I moved to
the country. I've obviously got this one loan and I
had said to him, look, I'm gonna keep paying it.
You keep paying me the money, I'll keep paying the loan.
So he did, so that was okay, and it got
to a point where I was earning really good money

(32:05):
because in my job, I was getting like really good
penalty rates and I was on call. So within three
months of being regional, and at this point that was
I'm going to say six months after I left him,
I had paid off the debt. So at this point
it had been able to be narrowed down. That had
been seventeen or something seventeen or eighteen thousand when we

(32:26):
first got the loan, and then at this point there
was ten left. And literally I saved up the ten
grand and I was like, I'm just chucking it on
the loan. I was like, I don't want this loan anymore.
And I saved up the ten grand and I chucked
it on the loan and then it was gone. And
I said to him, look, if you want to just
keep paying me, I'm going to pay off the loan,
or you happy that He said, yeap, cool, that's fine.
I said, there's no need to pay interest, just keep
paying me what you owe me. At this point, I

(32:48):
still owed my parents' money. So after I paid off
that loan, I paid off the Center Link loan, so
I had again all the repayments I had to pay back,
and then the startup loan because I had paid the
repayments initially, and I left the startup loan for a
few months, and then I was like, why do I
have this? Like, I was like, I don't need this.

Speaker 4 (33:05):
Yeah, I've got to get rid of it. It doesn't
feel good.

Speaker 1 (33:08):
Yeah, it does it at all. And I got rid
of it, and then I paid my mom and dad
back and it was the last thing I had to
pay back, was my mum and dad.

Speaker 4 (33:16):
That would have felt so good.

Speaker 1 (33:18):
Oh, the weight off my shoulders. I felt like I
could breathe again. And again he still owed me that money,
but he was paying it regularly, which was good. Fast forward,
I come back to the city I'm working in the
city perhaps cop Sydney vntal prices, which is just heartbreaking
to anyone. And he was still paying me money, which
was good. And then go to about two years ago

(33:40):
and because again he still owed me a bit more
money and.

Speaker 4 (33:42):
I still at that point still.

Speaker 1 (33:44):
Still still yeah yeah. Years later and he was just
paying like a small amount every week when he got paid.
And I actually remember at one point calling him, and
it was during COVID and I was calling him to
be like I was going to say, hey, like, do
you think we can increase how much of paying me?
And he actually was like, hey, I wanted to talk.
She as well, I'm glad we're talking. I was actually
going to ask you if we could decrease how much
I'm paying you. Blah blah blah. So I ended up

(34:07):
saying yes.

Speaker 4 (34:08):
Oh, you are just a very kind human.

Speaker 1 (34:11):
But look yeah, so no, I ended up saying yeah
or whatever. Anyways, a few months later, he calls me says, hey,
I can go back to paying you the amount that
I was before. I was like great, but I remember saying, look,
actually my partner and I are looking at buying a house.
And he goes, oh, it must be nice, right, I
just c winish at me. I was like, so, I
am working in healthcare and COVID you take a seat,
all right, you take a damn seat. I was like,

(34:33):
not having it.

Speaker 4 (34:34):
Sit down, just you know what, sit in the back right.

Speaker 1 (34:37):
So he's still paying back. Still, that manipulation didn't stop
even when I'm in a new relationship. It was text
messages threatening suicide, contacting my family. At one point sent
a suicide note to my family jeez as if like
I had blocked his details, so he sent it to
one as so can consider it. My dad with PTSD,
sent it to him and then sent it to my sister,

(34:57):
who had like, you know, a young child a lot
on her play.

Speaker 4 (35:00):
Absolutely not, how dare you? Did you call an ambulance
because that's exactly what I would have done.

Speaker 1 (35:05):
My dad did. So I was asleep, I finished night shift,
and I woke up to this message and I called
him and he ended up saying, look, I'm okay, I've
called an ambulance and I've gone to hospital. And it
wasn't until a few days later when I spoke to
my family and it turned out that he had messaged
my dad he'd message my sister and they were together
at the time. My parents were visiting her.

Speaker 4 (35:22):
Oh I'm glad that they were, though, because that could
have been incredibly isolating.

Speaker 1 (35:27):
Oh so horrible. My dad ended up calling police and said,
I needed to go to a welfare check on this address.

Speaker 4 (35:32):
One hundred percent that's exactly what you should have done.

Speaker 1 (35:34):
So again, lying again, it wasn't him who called an ambulance.
It was my dad that he didn't tell me he
had sent a message to as well. It didn't end there.
It still, you know, kept happening, and he's still an
eternal victim. Post of a year after that situation, I
just opened my bank account one day, and this point
there's like two grand left on the ig loan that
he owed me, and there was the say, two two
and a half thousand that I had lent him just afterwards,

(35:56):
and it was just in my account. So I called
him and I was like, hey, what's the guy. I
was like, thank you so much. It's just you know,
like thanks for moving that money over. And he's yeah,
you're welcome, and I was like, oh, so are you,
And he goes, what do you mean, and I said, well,
I would say thank you if I lent someone money
and you know I've been paying it back, and he goes,
you didn't let me money, Rah rah rah, And I
remember him screaming at the phone, sorry what I know
he lost it, and I just remember said it and

(36:17):
I was like, I don't need to hear this. And
I just remember sitting there with the phone like held
away from my face, hearing him scream, and I was like,
this isn't my life anymore, and I'm so grateful. And
I just sat there and I was like, okay, all right,
well all the best. I'm going to go. I heart
the phone and I sent a message to all my
sisters and I said, hey, if he contacts you or

(36:39):
if he wants to spend time with you, don't tell
me about it. I don't want to know. He's not
a nice man. He is not a good person, and
I suggest you don't spend time with him. I'm not
going to tell you not to, but I don't think
he's someone that should be around your families or your children.

Speaker 4 (36:52):
You're a better person than me. I would have been like,
do not talk to this person like I would have
cut them. No, Nope, you're a better human than I'll ever.

Speaker 1 (36:59):
Be no, don't so that not at all. I didn't
ever want to put anyone in a position where they
felt controlled or felt like they were obliged to do something.
But I was like, I don't want this man in
my life. I said, don't tell me. If he contacts you,
don't tell him anything about me. And I blocked him
on everything except for his phone number. So that was that.
After that, at that point, one of my best friends
was like, oh my gosh, you need to get that
money back, blah blah blah. And then other one was like, girl,

(37:21):
I think you're seeing it, and I was like, I
don't care. At that point, it's like two.

Speaker 4 (37:23):
And a half grand, yep, just wipe that off.

Speaker 1 (37:25):
I'm done. I don't want that. And again, now I
can look at it. I'm never getting that money back
from him, but I don't really care, Like the peace
of mind I have now is so much more important.

Speaker 4 (37:33):
Yeah, one hundred percent.

Speaker 1 (37:34):
So look, that was the big foundational trauma side of
my money story.

Speaker 4 (37:39):
That is heavy and hard, and I'm so grateful that
you took the time to share it. But what on earth?
But now you're out the other side, right, like you've
come out the other side. You mentioned a few times,
like you're working in healthcare. Tell me what do you
wear and what is your job?

Speaker 2 (37:55):
Now?

Speaker 1 (37:55):
Yes, okay, so I am a paramedic and paramedic manager me.

Speaker 4 (37:59):
The whole time. Call a paramedic, col a paramedic and
you're like, yeah, that's me.

Speaker 1 (38:03):
Babe, s me hey, hi queen as we No. Literally
I remember one of those days when I finished work
and I had taken a patient to that hospital. At
the end of the day, I went home and I
took him straight back to the nurse that I had
handed over my patient too, and she was like, ah,
and it's just that, like you know, even in the city,
even in the city, it happens. You know, like you
see those same people in your personal life that you

(38:24):
see in your work life, and it's just you know,
not just a small town thing.

Speaker 4 (38:27):
Yeah, one hundred percent. That would have been jarring for
both of you.

Speaker 1 (38:31):
I think, yeah, I think the good thing at that point,
like we were done at that point, so it was
kind of I could be a little bit separate and
be like this is my friend, not this is my husband,
which was good.

Speaker 4 (38:40):
No, that is so good.

Speaker 1 (38:41):
So my base rate is one hundred and fifteen thousand.
I rely heavily on penalties.

Speaker 4 (38:47):
I was about to say, please tell me you get
a lot of penalties, because like one hundred and fifteen
thousand like good salary, but not enough for what you do.

Speaker 1 (38:54):
No, it's a big win. It's gone up in the
last couple of years, but I think it doesn't equate
to what we do. But that's okay. I'm not ungrateful.
I am really happy. And a massive benefit being that
we get lots of really good penalties with that. So
unfortunately it's very rare that we actually get our breaks,
but we do get paid a penalty for every break
that we miss.

Speaker 4 (39:15):
Yeah. Good.

Speaker 1 (39:15):
We also get paid overtime, so the second that you
go into overtime, like you're one minute in, you get
paid overtime. So last year with penalties, I earned one
hundred and thirty one thousand. At the moment, I am
on track to earn one hundred and fifty nine thousand.

Speaker 4 (39:31):
Oh my god. That means you're doing so much extra work.

Speaker 1 (39:34):
Yes i am. I also have stepped into a new
role in the last year, which does pay a lot
more the base rate for that one Off the top
of my head is one hundred and twenty three thousand,
so I am earning more at the moment than what
I normally do. Again, with that as well, we still
earn the same penalty. So if you miss a meal,
if you finish late, if you you know, get a
call out, that kind of thing, you do get penalties

(39:56):
as well.

Speaker 4 (39:57):
I think this is so important. But how are you
as a paramedic look after yourself in these situations? Because, like,
as you said, you worked through COVID and now we're
learning you're a paramedic, Like that would have been a lot.
But then also you're not just dealing with you know,
Johnny fell off the trampoline every single time, you're dealing
with so much mental health, you're dealing with, you know,

(40:18):
arguably so much trauma. How are you looking after yourself?
So this is a sustainable career.

Speaker 1 (40:23):
Like it's a lot, it really is. And COVID was
a lot, and it was horrible, and I saw a
lot of wonderful paramedics burn out so fast. And I
have friends of mine that have been in the job,
like they left after less than two years because it
broke them. So I've always been very passionate about taking
care of my mental health. My dad was a firefighter
and he had PTSD and so he was a really

(40:44):
really good role model for me. So I luckily my
workplace pays for psychology, which is great. They supply psychologists,
but I do also I have a private psychologist, so
I see her regularly. She's lovely, She's a gem. And
that's just for that matindents and I honestly anyone who's
ever like there's so much stigma still, which just breaks
my heart. But like, just go talk to someone. It's

(41:06):
the best thing. Like they can give you such a
good perspective, they can help you through so much. So psychology,
I exercise regularly. I try to eat as best as
I can, and just you know, catch it with friends
and actually taking that time to debrief and take care
of myself and doing those recharging things, you know, spend
time with people I love, do things that I enjoy.

Speaker 4 (41:24):
No, I love that. I love that. And it sounds
like you're in a new relationship from the way that
you're talking. Talk to me about what life looks like
right now, and do you have any big money goals
that you're working towards.

Speaker 1 (41:36):
Oh, yes, life's good.

Speaker 4 (41:38):
Hey, like life is so cross it sounds it now.

Speaker 1 (41:41):
Yeah, honestly, so, I have been with my lovely partner
and I have been together. We got together when I
was separated. So in Australia, obviously you have to be
twelve months separated to then get divorced. I'm going to
say it was eight months. Eight months after separating was
when my partner and I got together, and we have
now been together for almost five years now. He's the

(42:04):
best person, genuinely the best person. He's so great and yeah,
so it tours a big money goal. So he and
I just bought our first apartment together.

Speaker 4 (42:13):
Oh, congratulate, I'm exciting.

Speaker 1 (42:16):
Thank you through Zella Money.

Speaker 4 (42:18):
Actually, are you actually one of my clients?

Speaker 1 (42:19):
Yeah, genuinely. Yeah. Oh I love this and.

Speaker 4 (42:22):
I'm so disappointed I didn't know that earlier.

Speaker 1 (42:25):
Well, look, you can't really keep track of every single client,
Like I feel like that's a lot for one gal.

Speaker 4 (42:29):
I feel like it feels so nasty, like people are
going to listen and go, how did Victoria not know
that you were a client? Like that's so bad? Like, thankfully,
a lot of things don't reach me unless there's an issue,
and if there's an issue I know, but like, I
have six full time mortgage brokers with like literally over
the year, thousands of clients. I wish I knew them
all personally, but I just I don't get that privilege.

(42:52):
So I'm hoping that the team has looked after you
in the best possible way that I've taught them. And
that's a positive ZEALA money story.

Speaker 1 (42:59):
Oh it is so lovely.

Speaker 4 (43:00):
I'm so proud of them. And the idea that you
got to settle on your first home that is so exciting.

Speaker 1 (43:05):
Oh it's And honestly, we had this guy that a
few years ago, my partner and I were looking at buying.
We saw this guy. He was great whatever it came
to this time round, and we were like asking him
questions to seems and he was very much at start,
it was like, great, let's get you into this home
because it's been a very long journey to get to
hear he was then like it got to this point
where we were asked he was trying to figure out
we both owned good money, we both had deposits. Do

(43:26):
we buy a property separately each, do we both buy investments?
Do we buy one live in? Do we buy one
investment do we do them together? What do we do?
When I was asking him questions and I asked about Terran,
this was the last straw. I said, Look, what would
our interest rate be looking like if we did one
on occupied one investment property together? And he goes, depends
on how many times you change your mind this week?

Speaker 4 (43:46):
Excuse me.

Speaker 1 (43:47):
I was ropeable.

Speaker 4 (43:49):
I would have just been like, okay, cool, no worries
by Hey, you know what, I'm not gonna lie. I'm
really glad that happened because I wouldn't have got you
as a client if he had maintained his relationship properly.

Speaker 1 (43:59):
I know, I literally, I'm like, he is not going
to get this ongoing commission for thirty years. He is
not going to get this, you know, first payment. I
was account and because she said him, I said, look,
we would like to work with you, but we want
someone who is aligned to our goals and can support us.
I understand you do this every day for us. This
is the first time purchasing property. If you don't think
you can help us with this, then please tell me.

(44:20):
And then he just sent through what he thought the
interest rate would be, didn't acknowledge anything I said, and
I was like, nah.

Speaker 4 (44:25):
Goodbye, absolutely not. You should never feel like that with
a financial broker at all. Like at the end of
the day, Like I know one thing for sure, and
that's my girls will go above and beyond for our clients.
Like you change your mind every single day, Like that's fine,
that's fine, We'll map it out. Like we want you
to be so secure with the financial decision you're making.
You've literally never taken on more debt in your life,

(44:48):
Like this is one of the biggest, if not the
biggest financial decision you'll ever make, and it is a
privilege that we get to hold your hand through that process.
You're allowed to change your mind a million times over.
Like you want me to map out you want to
know what's seven fifty eight hundred eight twenty five, six hundred.
I don't care what it looks like. I will give
you a scenario and map it out so that you

(45:09):
go I feel so confident, I'm so ready, Like that's
what we want to hear.

Speaker 1 (45:13):
Yeah, And honestly I said to her when we had
a first appointment, said, look, we've just had a really
bad experience. As I just want to clarify this is
our goal. This is what we're thinking. We've talked it
through with the accountant. This is where we're at. Is
this thing you can help us with? And she was like, yes, absolutely,
and I was okay. I was like, we kind of
want to, you know, we're working towards investments blah blahlah,
because our goal is ultimately we want a house. Obviously
Sydney's not very attainable for a house, which is why

(45:34):
we're starting with an affordable mortgage for us, and we're
going to buy an investment property and so talking about
that and I was like, okay, what can we do?
And she was like, cool, we could do regular valuations.
How about I do six monthly check ins. We'll do
this this This set up a punch. She was so
lovely and I just felt so instantly at ease and
just so good. Honestly, she's so so kind.

Speaker 4 (45:53):
I am glad, I am very proud of my team.
So talk to me. Now, you've got a mortgage. How
much is that?

Speaker 1 (45:58):
Yes? Alrighty, So our mortgage is five hundred and twenty
six thousand and seven, one hundred and seventy four dollars
at the moment.

Speaker 4 (46:06):
Exciting, and how much did you purchase for six sixty. Oh,
how good's that? So you had a pretty good deposit.

Speaker 1 (46:12):
Yeah, so a deposit, pretty sizable. We've done quite well.
So we both had our deposits, we'd saved up. And
then my partner's parents, when his grandparents all unfortunately passed away,
his family came into quite a bit of money, and
so his mum and dad made the decision that each
of the children would get one hundred thousand dollars to
go towards their first home.

Speaker 4 (46:31):
Isn't that so nice? Like that they got to be
a part of like your like and I know that
people you know often are like, oh, inheritance, but like,
how nice that that got to go towards you creating
a home. They would be so proud.

Speaker 1 (46:44):
They're such lovely people. And it was like I used
to be like that. I used to be so jaded
about it, and because I, you know, I had a
hext and I worked for things, and so I was
raised that you had to work for low things. And
I used to be really jaded about it if anybody
got money, and then I was like, no, I guess
that's what parents can do. Like, if you're lucky enough,
fortunate enough, to work hard and to be able to
do that for your kids, like, that's such a wonderful

(47:04):
gift you can give them, and his mum and dad
are such great people, so honestly, it's so amazing. So
we both had a decent deposit, had that then combination
from his parents, and now we also now have So
there's one hundred and thirty four thousand of our deposit
is still there. We actually had enough for the ten
percent on two properties.

Speaker 4 (47:24):
Is it in your offset?

Speaker 1 (47:25):
Yes? Of course.

Speaker 4 (47:26):
Yeah. I was about to say, Jack would have set
you up properly so that all of this is working
very nicely.

Speaker 1 (47:32):
Yes, she did. So, Look we've got that. The rest
of our deposit is sitting in an offset account. We
are pre approved for our investment loan, and it's just
at the moment, to be honest, we're doing renos and
it is so stressful. So it's a matter of just
like whence we've kind of got this done, then we're
going to get the investment property sorted. But at the
moment it's sitting there offsetting up personal mortgage, which is great.

Speaker 4 (47:51):
How exciting. I feel like you've got all your financial
stuff sorted. Tell me, are you investing in any other
way or are you like, Nope, we've saved all this money.
We're going to go all in on property. At the moment,
absolutely so.

Speaker 1 (48:03):
I have got just over fifty two thousand in shares
at the moment.

Speaker 4 (48:07):
What, Like, you are so set up. I'm obsessed.

Speaker 1 (48:11):
Thank you. Tell me about your super In terms of
super I have ninety seven thousand at the moment.

Speaker 4 (48:17):
Oh nice. I feel like you are very well set up,
like you were on the right path.

Speaker 1 (48:22):
Yeah, we're getting there. It's been good making progress.

Speaker 4 (48:25):
I want to go back to like seventeen year old
you and be like, okay, cool, So do you know
how it ends up? Like and this isn't even going
to be the end, Like this is going to be
lit and you'll just be Oh, how cool would that
have been?

Speaker 1 (48:36):
Yeah? Honestly, I seventeen year old me would one think
I'm so cool and two would be so proud of me.

Speaker 4 (48:42):
She would be I was very.

Speaker 1 (48:44):
Fortunate in the last couple of years. So I mentioned
you before, like we were going to buy previously. It
was just before COVID, and I'm so glad we didn't.
We were in NOC. We were so close to having
this massive max out mortgage just before cod which is
during COVID. So glad we didn't do it, because in
that time, with that money, I off my hex set completely,
which was from a one year of one degree a
whole degree and at that point in time half of

(49:06):
a master's hat off that I then bought myself a
car and a deal a demo. Of course I was responsible.
Saved a fair bit of money by doing that, and
just yeah, saved so much money. And if we hadn't
had gone through what we did with our property journey previously,
there is no way we have been on one to
two international holidays every year since kind of COVID lockdown's lifted,

(49:31):
as well as small holidays as well. I no longer
have a hextet. I, you know, have excellent savings. I
now have this great share portfolio.

Speaker 4 (49:39):
I'm obsessed. And you know what, at the time when
you lost at that auction, I'm sure you were heartbroken
because that's all you ever thought you wanted.

Speaker 1 (49:46):
Oh yeah, I actually drove past that address this morning
on my way home from work, and I was like,
I'm so glad we didn't get that. I'm so glad
we didn't.

Speaker 4 (49:54):
I feel like it's such a good lesson in that
like sometimes when you don't get things, it's because they
were meant to pass you by. I like, and I
think that that's such a nice way of like being
able to reflect and be like Nope, Like if it's
not working for me right now, that's because it's not
meant to Like this maybe a lesson or maybe there's
something better coming. And I think that so many times,

(50:14):
especially like with the story that you've shared, Like there
were times where you're like I'm never getting out of this,
or like I don't even know how to leave, but
like you did it now, like the sun is not
just shining, but the grass is greener where you're standing,
Like isn't that like the best thing ever?

Speaker 1 (50:28):
Yeah, honestly, it is so good. I'm so happy and
secure and it feels really really good.

Speaker 4 (50:33):
I adore it. All Right, I've got two more questions
because I know we quickly running out of time. Let
me know, what do you think your best money habit is.

Speaker 1 (50:41):
I'm gonna say automation love Honestly, set up everything really early,
so everything is planned for so each pay I allocate
for the year. So whether it's bills, either their monthly
or annual, my groceries, my spending money, my saving money,
my holiday money. Everything is allocated as a fortnightly automation.

Speaker 4 (50:57):
Love and then what do you think your worst money happen?
Although I don't know someone who rates themselves an a
has any.

Speaker 1 (51:03):
At the moment, I have been tracking a little bit
less than I normally would, just because we've been renovating.
It's been a bit hectic. So ordinarily a girlfriend and
I we catch up at the start of every month
and we go over how we've done the four weeks before.

Speaker 4 (51:15):
That is so wholesome. I'm obsessed. Where can I find
a friend like that?

Speaker 3 (51:19):
For me?

Speaker 1 (51:20):
It's so and also so I note so proud of her.
She also signed contract on her first place yesterday as well.

Speaker 4 (51:25):
I'm obsessed.

Speaker 1 (51:26):
Eighteen months ago. I tried getting her to listen to
your podcast eighteen months ago and she was like, I
don't want to hear it. I don't want to look
at money. It's too stressful, blah blah blah. And now now.

Speaker 4 (51:35):
She's getting her in house, I'm obsessed. How good is it?
And you know what I get that money can be overwhelming.
The amount of times people say oh, like, I know
all your podcast, but I'm just I'm not ready, Like girl,
you know it when you're ready. But like, it's so
relatable to just feel overwhelmed when it comes to money.
And I'm pretty sure if I went back to money
diarist as in you back when you were like twenty

(51:58):
two twenty three, you were in tens of that of
dollars of debt, you were emotionally and financially supporting your
husband who was not a nice human being. Like I
can't imagine you would have been like, yeah, great money podcast,
That's exactly what I need. Like you would have been
telling me to get in the bin. And I totally
get that. But I think it's so powerful and sometimes

(52:18):
you can only see those things in hindsight.

Speaker 1 (52:20):
Yeah, definitely, I'm glad now that I can see it,
But at the time I couldn't. I literally could see
none of it. So it really is like hindsight of course.

Speaker 4 (52:28):
All right, money Diristy. It has been so beautiful. Thank
you so much for sharing your story with us. I
am literally obsessed. But last question, you said that you
were in a what's it going to take to get
you to an A plus?

Speaker 1 (52:40):
Look, I want more money through dividends. I think I
think that's kind of a current goal. And once my
partner and I can kind of get an investment property sorted,
I'm really keen to get that underway so that we
can kind of work towards.

Speaker 4 (52:55):
The big family home.

Speaker 1 (52:57):
Yeah, getting out like you know, our big house, which
would be good.

Speaker 4 (53:01):
I'm so obsessed that I get to be on that
journey with you, Like that is literally so special, because
like my favorite clients are the ones where you know,
you come back and we're working out what equity you
have and what we can do and how we can invest,
but then also how we can take you to the
next level. Like I feel like the great Australian dream
of like buying your first home as your family home,
it just doesn't exist, but like there's still a pathway,

(53:24):
and like it's just so exciting when we get to
be on that journey with you.

Speaker 5 (53:33):
Did buy shared on She's on the Money is general
in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's
on the Money exists purely for educational purposes and should
not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision.
If you do choose to buy a financial product, Read
the PDS TMD and obtain appropriate financial advice.

Speaker 1 (53:53):
Tailored towards your needs.

Speaker 5 (53:54):
Victoria Divine and She's on the Money are authorized representatives
of Money Shop p U y L t D A
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