May 21, 2023 • 36 mins
Wait till you meet this incredibly strong and humble member of our community! She and her brothers were raised by their single mum who experienced bankruptcy after leaving a violent relationship with their dad who was also a gambling addict. Having dealt with her own mental health and health struggles, she is now a rock for others and working in child protection after 9 years at uni, finally earning a full-time salary!
This week's episode discusses eating disorders, domestic violence and mental health issues, if these are difficult topics for you please check in with one of our many other episodes.
If you or anyone you know needs help reach out to...
1800 Respect
Lifeline
The Butterfly Foundation
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello, my name's Santasha Nabananga Bamblet. I'm a proud yr
the Order Kernye Whoalbury and a waddery woman. And before
we get started on She's on the Money podcast, I
would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land
of which this podcast is recorded on a wondery country,
acknowledging the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming
(00:22):
through as this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing
and the storytelling of you to make a difference for
today and lasting impact for tomorrow.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
Let's get into it.
Speaker 3 (00:34):
She's on the Money, She's on the Money.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
Hello, and welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast
for millennials who want financial freedom. Welcome back to another
one of our money daries where I get to talk
to one of our incredible She's on the Money community
members all about their financial and life journey. Let's jump
straight into it, because this week I got a message
that went like this, Hi, Victoria. My brothers and I
(01:20):
were raised by our single mum and watched her experience
bankruptcy after leaving a domestic violence relationship with my dad,
who is also a gambling addict after my own mental
health and health struggles. I'm now working in child protection
after nine years at university, and I'm earning a full
time salary for the first time ever at age twenty seven.
(01:42):
Before we jump even further into this episode and welcome
our beautiful moneydarist to the show, I do want to
just give a bit of a content warning here. This
week's episode we're going to discuss things like eating disorders,
domestic violence, abuse, and depression. So if that is not
an episode do you want to listen to or you're
not in the right mindset for it, that is so fine.
We literally have hundreds of other episodes you can go
(02:04):
and listen to right now, So go and do that.
But if you're sticking with us to listen to this
money Diary, welcome and Money Diarist. Let's jump straight in,
my friend.
Speaker 3 (02:14):
Sounds good? All right.
Speaker 2 (02:15):
Let's start with the very first question, which as always
is my friend, what grade would you give your money
habits if I asked you to give them a grade
from A through F.
Speaker 3 (02:25):
I think probably a C plus a C plus.
Speaker 2 (02:28):
All right, well, I think that frames the conversation. Now
my favorite question, let's dive in money diarists. I want
to know, can you tell us a little bit more
about your money story.
Speaker 3 (02:39):
Yeah, of course. So I grew up with two brothers
and my dad was unfortunately an alcoholic. It also had
a gambling addiction, so we didn't grow up with a
lot of money because he unfortunately, we'd spend most of
it after he got his paychecks. But my mum did
her best to keep the family running. And then when
I was about eight, mum left because of the domestic violence,
(03:03):
and yeah, things got a little bit worse from there
for a little bit. Obviously, having my mum care for
us most of the time on a single parents wage
was really difficult, and there was also a long court
process the divorce and splitting up the assets of the house,
which was a bit messy.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
Oh my gosh, it would have been so stressful and
it ate you kind of only know a little bit
about what's going on. That's it, not the whole story,
so it feels a little bit ambiguous, and absolutely was
it stressful as an eight year old to go through that.
Speaker 3 (03:34):
It was very stressful. I think also seeing your parents
so stressed is hard. But at the time my dad
also was very keen on having my brothers and I
know everything that was going on, So there was a
bit of emotional you know, reading the court affidavits to
us saying how bad our mum was, all that kind
of stuff. So obviously, now from a bit more of
a tuma lens, I can see that's not appropriate. But
(03:55):
when you're young, you just want.
Speaker 2 (03:57):
You just don't know what you don't know. When you're young,
that's it. You just think, oh, Dad's trying to share
with us what's going on. Like to me, that would
you know as an eight year old makes sense exactly,
But there are some things that you're not emotionally ready for,
and that happens to be one of them, exactly.
Speaker 3 (04:12):
And then when I was eleven years old, my dad
moved into state and left us in my mum's care
full time. And that was a bit of a surprise
because we didn't know it was coming. He sort of
just dropped us off one day and then we were
living with mum. And then from there, when I was
a teenager, I developed some disordered eating mental health struggles.
My mum has been so supportive the whole time, but yeah,
(04:34):
definitely a bit of a roller coaster and got my
first job at McDonald's when I was fifteen, working for
eight dollars an hour, so.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
Eight dollars that you were probably like, this is the
best money I've ever earned in my whole life.
Speaker 3 (04:46):
Absolutely, And I think that was the first time because
we did struggle with money so much when I was younger,
I really felt like I have some control here, you know,
I'm making my own money, and that was a great feeling.
And then when I was in high school at seventeen,
my mom did go bankrupt because she had taken on
a lot of debt to look after my brothers and
I by herself. That had been really hard on her.
(05:07):
And she also had another partner at that time who
was unfortunately abusive as well and very dependent on her.
So she left him but was left with a lot
of debt and so went bankrupt after that, and then
things were rough for a while. But yeah, they're looking
up now.
Speaker 2 (05:24):
Wow, I feel like that is a rollercoaster. I really
want to go and just like grab your mum and
hug her. Yeah, she's super supportive, but from the sounds
of it, she backs you to the end of the earth,
but maybe doesn't look after herself in the same way
that you get looked after and you just want to
go mum, like, look after yourself too.
Speaker 3 (05:42):
Come on, absolutely, yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:44):
Oh can I jump back to the disordered eating, Yes,
of course I want to talk about that. That's something
that I have experienced before, and I guess that's why,
you know, opening the conversation up around this is really
really important to me. I want to know a bit
more about I guess where that came from, because often
it's not about being thin, it's not about you know,
(06:06):
becoming a model like a lot of people think, where
do you think that stemmed from? Was that maybe a
control issue? I say that only because you said earlier
I got my first job at McDonald's and I felt
more in control. Yeah, talk to me about that situation.
Speaker 3 (06:23):
Sure. So I think I was conscious of my way
from very early on, and it was actually something that
my dad criticized a lot.
Speaker 2 (06:29):
He was very canceled. One out of ten that is
not appropriate dad behavior.
Speaker 3 (06:34):
Yeah, I know, but yeah, he was very fixated on
my appearance, you know, my mum's parents, my brother's appearance,
and it was always a reflection of him in his eyes.
So I think probably from early on I was quite
self conscious of myself and wanted to change a lot
about my body. I think probably the earliest age I
remember feeling unhappy about this something about my body was
probably about four.
Speaker 2 (06:55):
Oh, my heart, you shouldn't care about your body. At four,
you'd be caring about sand castles and chasing people and
whether you can have ice cream up to dinner or not.
Speaker 3 (07:07):
Absolutely, And I can see all that now, but yes,
I think that's probably where it first came from. Is
that wanting to be what he thought was enough. And
that started with, you know, lots of calory, restriction over exercising,
and I think probably the fact that my parents were
going through a divorce and then Dad moved into state.
There was that more sense of trying to please everybody,
(07:28):
and that was the thing I could control, Especially before
I got the job, I didn't really have any other
control or other than I did really well at school
because I think that was how I could prove that
I was trying really hard. And I'm a bit of
a perfectionist.
Speaker 2 (07:39):
Same girlfriend, cut paste. I mean, I didn't go through
the same traumatic circumstances as you. But it's funny because
having gone through disordered eating, I feel like when I
speak to other people who have had similar experiences, I'm like, oh,
my gosh, what about this? What about that? And you
kind of go, yeah, the job probably really helped because
it gave that sense of control that you didn't feel
(08:00):
like you had earlier. Do you feel like that helped
you on your recovery journey?
Speaker 3 (08:05):
Yes or no? I think for a while there I
did feel like I had more control, and like as
a teenager in high school, when I felt like I
had more of an identity as someone who did well
at school, had a good group of friends, had a
nice boyfriend at the time, and things were going well.
And then in year twelve, I think might sorted eating
really hit its peak. I'd broken up with my boyfriend,
and I also put a lot of pressure on myself
(08:27):
to get like the most perfect score so I could
get into the best courses at UNI. I wanted to
study law originally, so the ATel was quite high.
Speaker 2 (08:35):
So much unnecessary pressure, Like the idea that at sixteen
seventeen you're meant to decide what you want to do
for the rest of your life when your brain is
not even fully developed. You aren't even making good decisions
at that point. Why do you think i'd make a
good decision about my career, Like, why are you putting
this pressure on me? I can't even be trusted to
(08:56):
go out on my own at this point.
Speaker 3 (08:57):
Yeah, exactly exactly, And looking back now, I'm like, oh, obviously,
as I said, well you said at the beginning, took
nine years for me to get through UNI anyway, So
now I could just laugh and be like, oh, I
had no idea of but yeah, I was putting a
lot of pressure on myself to be perfect in every
way that I thought I needed to be, and I think, yeah,
eating and trying to control my image was definitely one
part of that.
Speaker 2 (09:18):
Do you think that that's part of your narrative today,
Like is that something that you still struggle with or
is it something that you have moved beyond, Like what
does that look like today?
Speaker 3 (09:26):
Yeah, I think I've had a lot of therapy from
about age twenty two until now, so five good years,
and I think my relationship with food has improved a lot,
and also with my body. I think when I was
like in the thick of it, it was something that
I worried about all the time constantly, Whereas I've gotten
to a place now where it might be like a
little thought that pops up every once in a while,
(09:48):
but it's not something that I feel like controls me.
Which now I'm looking back, iack and see I didn't
have control. It was actually controlling me. The thoughts were
controlling me. And now when they come up, I can
be like, nope, we're not doing that. Push it aside.
Speaker 2 (10:01):
Ah. I love that you're able to say no, it's
not controlling me. I think when you go through circumstances
like this, especially disordered eating, it's something that you learn.
And I'm so glad you've had therapy because it's not
something you can teach yourself, like you actually just need
someone to come in and be like, Okay, here are
the strategies that you need to implement. This is what
we need to do to put you in the best
(10:21):
possible position. But it never leaves fully. I don't believe
as somebody who goes through that, but you actually get
all these strategies. So when it pops up, you can
go no, no, no, we're going to quosh that, like,
that's not how we think, Victoria, that's not what we're
doing today. And I think that that can be really helpful.
But I also think talking about that side of it
is really important because I would hate for people to
(10:43):
think that, like quote, therapy cures you and you'll be
completely over it. No, it's something that mentally is always
going to be there, but we can kind of use
to our advantage with the right tools and the right resources.
And I think that that's.
Speaker 3 (10:57):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:57):
I'm so glad you're in that position. And you look
happy and healthy right now. You look glowy and smiley,
and it just I think that you are absolutely thriving.
So that is my favorite thing ever. Before I move
on to the next question, I just wanted to plug
the Butterfly Foundation here. If this is something that you
are struggling with. The Butterfly Foundation is one of my
favorite resources for disordered eating. You can check them out online.
(11:20):
They're on Instagram, They're basically everywhere. They've also got a
really beautiful hotline if you want to call them. I'll
put all of the links in the show notes if
you need them, but please reach out to them. I
did when I was younger, and they are the kindest, honestly,
the nicest people in the entire world. And I feel
like when reaching out for help and money direst I'm
not sure if you felt the same way. You just
like put it off, put it off, put it off,
(11:41):
and then when you do, you're like, why didn't I
do this soon? Nice? As scary as you think it's going.
Speaker 3 (11:46):
To be, Yeah, I think definitely waiting til that crisis point.
Speaker 2 (11:49):
Don't do that. Yeah, don't do that idea.
Speaker 3 (11:52):
Yeah, get help as as soon as you think you're right,
need it. Definitely reach out. It's worth it, You're worth it.
Speaker 2 (11:58):
So absolutely all right, money, Dirice, I want to know
more about you today. Tell me you said in your
letter into me that you're finally earning a full time salary.
What do you do for work? How much money do
you earn?
Speaker 1 (12:10):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (12:10):
So I'm a social worker in a child protection state
based child protection agency and I earned seventy two tho
and ninety one dollars a year.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
You earn seventy two that's good for like first year
out of UNI.
Speaker 3 (12:23):
It is and much more than I've ever dreamed of making,
or ever dreamed of making when I was younger. So yeah,
I feel a bit strange about it, to be honest.
Speaker 2 (12:32):
Oh my gosh, So tell me about these nine years
at UNI. So what degree is did you do like
did you do them part time? Full time? And kind
of what led you to child protection?
Speaker 3 (12:42):
So I started off at UNI when I was seventeen.
Speaker 2 (12:45):
So a little baby, that's a little baby.
Speaker 3 (12:47):
My mum had to sign the permission slips so I
could use computers at the university, which is quite funny
because I was taking on a lot of debt that
was old enough to sign those poms.
Speaker 2 (12:55):
But like, so you'll let me go into debt, but
you won't let me google it?
Speaker 3 (12:58):
Yeah, exactly. And I started off doing a double degree
in international relations and arts, and I had kind of
dreams of being, you know, some kind of diplomat or
maybe going to law later, but I wasn't too sure.
But at the time I was also struggling with my
mental health and had quite a lot of anxiety and
would later be diagnosed with an anxiety disorder and depression,
(13:18):
but at that time I didn't know. I just thought,
why am I coping? So I ended up dropping the
international degree and going just for arts, but unfortunately I
did fail quite a lot of topics. Because I felt
too anxious to go to class, I used to try
and go to the tute and then I would just
walk straight past the door and go sit in the
toilet and hide in the toilet stall for quite a while,
(13:41):
just because I was so anxious. And I think this
probably went on for quite a while before I reached
out for help with my GP. So after that there
was a bit of a learning curve, trying new SSRIs
or antidepressant medications and new approaches with you know, trying
to work with my anxiety. I could attend UNI, but
it was kind of an uphill at all. It was
(14:05):
about three years where I was doing okay and then
not doing okay at UNI. So I didn't end up
finishing my arts degree until twenty twenty.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
Actually, congratul how exciting you did it.
Speaker 3 (14:16):
Thank you. Yeah, I wish i'd been a bit kinder
to myself at the time and just done part time
UNI and maybe gotten the help I needed a bit earlier.
So that's okay. You know, reflection is much easier and
we learn exactly.
Speaker 2 (14:29):
Hopefully somebody else is listening to this thing gets to
learn from your story so that we don't repeat it exactly.
Speaker 3 (14:36):
So that was seven years for that undergrad which is
usually three.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
That's okay.
Speaker 3 (14:40):
It is okay, and I did take off a couple
of two six month breaks in there as well, and
I was really struggling. And then in twenty twenty one,
after the whole COVID.
Speaker 2 (14:53):
Thing, Yeah, that thing happened, Yeah, that little thing that ways,
get this, the first lockdown happened three years.
Speaker 3 (15:00):
I know, it's crazy to think about.
Speaker 2 (15:02):
It triggers me. It triggers me so bad. It reminds
me of how I carried my computer screen home and
thought it was just going to be two weeks. Yeah,
and then like a month later, it's like two pm
in the afternoon and I'd ask my partner, do you
want a wine? And that was normal.
Speaker 3 (15:17):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it feels like a long time ago,
but also yesterday, And so I was thinking about what
I wanted to do next. I didn't know if I
wanted to do, honest, because I was quite interested in
looking at like women's portrayals or portrayals of women's madness
in literature and how that plays into society's views of women.
Speaker 2 (15:37):
That would have been so cool. Did you do that?
Speaker 3 (15:39):
I didn't. I studied social work in Stace.
Speaker 2 (15:41):
That's okay, that's okay. It's an interesting topic none the less.
Speaker 3 (15:44):
Yeah, and I think given my experiences growing up and
witnessing my dad be very cruel to my mother, and
he used to say, you're mad. You know. There wasn't
really a lot of awareness of mental health from his part.
It was just you're crazy if you're struggling. So I
think that's definitely fueled my interests in that and also
maybe my reluctance to get help until I was a
(16:05):
little bit older. Yeah, So instead, I had that time
after I finished my degree to consider what I wanted
to do, and I thought, I kind of want to
do something that can help. There was a lot of
articles flying around at the time about you know, increased
domestic violence and you know, homelessness, and I think COVID
really just highlighted all the problems or the systems that
(16:27):
were failing already. And so I thought, what can I do?
And social work was the solution I came up with.
So I did a two masters and then yeah, I
went into child protection because I thought that was an
area that I could maybe make a difference in.
Speaker 2 (16:44):
Oh my gosh, my whole heart. Knowing your background and
where you've come from, and that arguably you were a
child at some point that needed protecting. Ah, Like, do
you feel like this is your way of kind of
like protecting kids that might have been in similar so
ccumstances to you? Like, this is heavy, I think So.
Speaker 3 (17:04):
I think I don't know if I would have even
considered this work as an option if I hadn't maybe
done some reflecting on my own experiences as a child
and noticed or recognized with help that there was abuse there,
and yeah, wanting to help other kids obviously it's quite
different in child protection, but knowing that maybe I could
(17:27):
help protect them and ensure that they're safe, and also
work with families to make sure they have the right
resources to keep their children safe as well. Sometimes I
feel like would be really rewarding, or is really rewarding.
Speaker 2 (17:38):
So tell me more about this role, because I feel
like we often gloss over rolls when we say children's
protective services. That could be a lot of things, right,
There are lots of different categories of how people in
these roles work. But can you tell me a little
bit about what your day to day job looks like.
Speaker 3 (17:56):
Yeah, so I've only been in it for about four
months now, and I've actually had two different roles in
that time. So the one I'm in at the moment
is an assessment based role, So that involves when notifications
are screened in and theirconcerns raised about maybe the safety
of a child, we will go out and speak with
(18:17):
the parents or whoever maybe involve speak with the children,
and then may or may not open an investigation from there,
and yeah, then the whole investigation process will start and
supports and support partners endos may become involved. Or if
at the end of the investigation it's deemed that the
child is not safe where they are and whoever their
(18:37):
caregivers are cannot provide that safety for them, there may
be a removal.
Speaker 2 (18:41):
Oh my whole heart. That is so heavy to do
on a day to day basis. How are you looking
after you through these things?
Speaker 3 (18:48):
Yeah, I think it's something that's evolved my self care routine.
At first, I had this whole list of you know,
like I will come home and do meditation, or I
will make sure that I'm doing yoga three times a week,
and those things are all really good. But I think
the best thing I've done for myself is form really
great relationships with my colleagues, making sure I'm still attending
(19:09):
therapy for myself.
Speaker 2 (19:10):
Yeah, one hundred percent.
Speaker 3 (19:12):
And when I get home sometimes I just need to
go into the back lawn and just lie on it
and just look at.
Speaker 2 (19:16):
The sky for a little bit bit grounded.
Speaker 3 (19:18):
Yeah, that's why my big things, kick off my shoes
and just go lie on the grass and be like
it's okay. I'm still a person. I'm here like the
world's bad, but not everything's bad, you know.
Speaker 2 (19:28):
Yeah, Oh my gosh. I don't know if I could
do a role like that, I feel like it would
break me. I feel like it takes such a special
person to be able to do it. And we need you,
like we need people like you who are looking after kids,
and I wish I was as special as that. Like
I just feel like the emotional energy that you give
to your job, I often feel so grateful that I
(19:48):
can go home, Like I'm not a brain surgeon. I'm
not you know, doing things that are you know, ultimately
impacting people in ways that are kind of life or death,
but your circumstances are right. Like if you make an assessment,
and I don't mean to be too dramatic or make
it sound awful for you, but like if you make
it the wrong assessment that could be catastrophic for a kid, right,
or if you leave a circumstance that you have been
(20:10):
evaluating and you just like, I want to scoop them
up and take them home because I don't feel like
they're safe and we are going to open an investigation,
but you know, in that moment you have to leave
them there, right. I just feel like that's heavy, and
I feel like, I'm just so grateful that people like
you exist. You are so special and I'm so just
I was so happy to know you.
Speaker 3 (20:29):
Yeah, I think it's not something I entered into lightly,
and it's that I'm actually quite new at their investigation
and assessments role. For a couple of months previously, and
where I actually did my social work placement was working
with children who were already in long term care, so
we children in posticcare and that's quite different on the
day to day. And I wasn't sure about child protection
at first anyway, because obviously in Australia we have the
(20:52):
stolen generations and I didn't want to be part of
a system that. You know, Abridge and Torreshare Island children
are still removed at a much higher rate than non
Indigenous children, and you know, with the stolen generations. I
just wasn't sure that that was a system I wanted
to be a part of. But I did get my
final year placement at the department, and it was through
(21:15):
working there and seeing all the good work they do
and working with Aboriginal colleagues and non Aboriginal colleagues, I thought, Okay,
this is something I think I can do. I feel
okay about.
Speaker 2 (21:25):
I feel like we need people like you in those
roles because things like that happened. We need people like
you are so aware of those things. I think it's
so close minded and shallow when people don't do things.
Or I heard someone the other day they're like, yeah,
I just don't see color. I'm just like, I can't
conceptualize how you think that's helping anybody like I cannot
(21:47):
understand because, to be honest, by seeing it, by going
your indigenous, you actually need and deserve more support in
this system than somebody who is white going through it, right,
because there are more barriers to entry, there are more
barriers to going through these things. There is unfortunately not
as much education. I feel like being able to say yes,
(22:09):
I understand it, and I can acknowledge that, and I
know that this was wrong, but I can go above
and beyond in those circumstances to make sure that the
people who need the most protection get it. That's what
we need to be doing, not going, oh my gosh,
let's just treat absolutely everybody equally. It's identical the process,
it's exactly the same. I genuinely believe that the process
needs to be stepped up because you're right, Aboriginal and
(22:31):
torrost right Islander kids are being taken at higher rates
because they aren't as safe. How do we fix that.
We can't just sweep it under the rug and be
like everybody needs to be treated the same, right. It
blows my mind.
Speaker 3 (22:43):
Yeah, and I think there is, you know, colonization. I
think we're taught in school, if we're taught at all,
as something that happened in the past, but it's really
the effects are still ongoing. The stolen generations are not
that long ago at all, so it can't be blind
to it as non Indigenous people. And you know, I
think that's really irresponsible and harmful.
Speaker 2 (23:05):
So I couldn't agree more. All right, let's move back
onto money topics, because I could have actually rant about
this all day, and I'm sure you could as well,
but I want to know. Let's go back to you personally.
What are your big money goals? What are we working towards?
My friend set the moment.
Speaker 3 (23:20):
My biggest goal is just building up my emergency fund.
So it got depleted while I was on placements. So
you have two four month placements where you're basically at
the placement site full time but not earning any money,
So just wanting to build that up again. That's my
biggest money goal. And also I'm planning a trip to
Japan and South Korea next year.
Speaker 2 (23:39):
So oh so fun. Can you tell me more about
this emergency fund? Yes, how have you calculated how much
you want in it?
Speaker 1 (23:46):
Like?
Speaker 2 (23:47):
Is it a month's worth of expenses? Three months worth
of expense? Like, what's going to make you feel most comfortable?
Speaker 3 (23:52):
It is three months worth of expenses, and then I
put two thousand dollars on top because that just made
me feel better.
Speaker 2 (23:59):
Hey, I like, yeah, I really like that. All Right,
I'm going to go to a really quick break because
this has become very quickly a very long episode. We
need a hot break, and after the break, we're going
to talk about debt, investment, best and worst money habits.
Guys don't go anywhere money Diarist. We are back, and
I feel like you are such a special human and
(24:20):
I am feeling so beyond grateful to be able to
share you with our community. I want to know, though,
let's dive straight in. Do you invest? If so, what
do you invest in? If not? Is there a plan?
Speaker 3 (24:32):
I do invest just a little so I have about
one thousand dollars in spaceship.
Speaker 2 (24:37):
What do you mean a little? A thousand dollars is
a lot of money, my friend, And.
Speaker 3 (24:40):
A lot of that was from when I was a student.
I was actually only putting in about five dollars a month,
and it was more like an investment in my financial education.
But it's grown over time.
Speaker 2 (24:50):
I love that. That's such as sheeesel on the money phrase,
you're obviously an og.
Speaker 3 (24:54):
Yeah, og, yeah definitely. And then I have super as well.
Speaker 2 (24:58):
How good. I feel like that's actually the perfect example
of why investing small amounts just makes sense. Like you're
now able to say, yeah, I've got a grand invested.
Most of us who are working our very first job
out of university don't have a thousand dollars in an
investment portfolio. But you do, and it's from all of
those tiny amounts that you were saving during university. Yeah, Like,
(25:21):
is that not? That's elite? Like that is such a
stepping stone that you probably didn't even realize you needed,
like to already be an investor, that is, outside of superannuation.
I'm obsessed with that. We did an entire episode recently
actually on investing small amounts and whether it's worth it,
ruining the episode here. Yes, of course it is worth it.
(25:41):
I will always recommend investing, even if it is small amounts,
because now you've got a grand that you didn't have before.
That's worth it, right, Yeah?
Speaker 3 (25:50):
And I think also, you know, the market has been
quite brutal the last couple of years. You gave me
that confidence of seeing the market go up and down
and knowing it's okay. I can ride this like and
have more confidence not to be can withdraw any money
in the future, I think?
Speaker 2 (26:02):
Yes, Love, All right, talk to me about debt. Do
you have any If so, what is it?
Speaker 3 (26:07):
I have a lot of hextep Yes.
Speaker 2 (26:10):
Nine years at university will do that. I'm so sorry
to spoil that.
Speaker 3 (26:13):
That will so I have seventy four thousand, three hundred
and fifty dollars in HEX add ten one hundred and
seventy one dollars and fifty five cents in startup loans,
which if you're getting any kind of centering payment while
you're at university, you can also opt in for a
startup loan of one thousand dollars at the start of
a semester and that can go towards costs for you know,
(26:33):
university items or education.
Speaker 2 (26:35):
Items, textbooks, everything. I feel like that's a really helpful
loan scheme as well, because obviously there's no interest on it,
so that makes it very attractive. But also university is
so expensive beyond hex, like the textbooks, Like I did psychology,
and a lot of the coursework in psychology overlaps with
social work. I could not believe that my social work
(26:57):
subject course books were like one hundred fifty to two
hundred and fifty dollars to help other people like what what?
That's crazy? And you always need the most up to
date edition. You can't just go and buy you know,
oh there's a secondhand when a well it's not the
right edition, is it?
Speaker 3 (27:12):
That's it? Yeah, I did use some of that money
to kind of boost up my income. So when I
was really struggling with anxiety and not able to work,
that did go towards having making sure I could pay
like my phone bill and for petrol for my count
five percent.
Speaker 2 (27:27):
I love that you had access to that. That makes
me so happy to know you were supported. Question though,
what are you doing about that debt?
Speaker 1 (27:35):
So?
Speaker 2 (27:35):
Are you just letting a tick along? Are you planning
on making additional repayments?
Speaker 1 (27:39):
Like?
Speaker 2 (27:39):
Have you even thought about this?
Speaker 3 (27:41):
Yeah? So at the moment, I'm just letting it tick along.
I did just want to quickly say, if anyone is
struggling at UNI and is you know, failing topics because
of mental health or first circumstances at home, you can
actually reply for remission of some of your topics if
you meet the criteria.
Speaker 2 (27:56):
Yes you can. That's such a oh, thank you for
bringing that up so smart.
Speaker 3 (28:01):
So I wish I knew about that a bit sooner.
But that basically means that if you meet the criteria
and your apply and it's approved, the debt will actually
be removed for you.
Speaker 1 (28:11):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (28:11):
Do they just delete it? They say, all money, direst
no worries. We totally get it. And the government go,
we're going to remove that unit or that course. Like,
I don't think I've ever seen it happen for an
entire degree, no, but if you're on it. I do
know someone who had literally four subjects in one semester
credited because they were like, look, I went past the
census state. And if anyone's at university, you know, the
(28:32):
census state's like that cut off date where you can
back out without it costing you anything if you go
past that though, and you know, let's just say the
proverbial hits the fan. It's so nice to know that
that's an option.
Speaker 3 (28:45):
Definitely.
Speaker 2 (28:45):
Oh, I'm glad we're talking about that. That's so helpful.
I feel like that's a really good money tip. Though
I wouldn't know what is your best money habit.
Speaker 3 (28:54):
I think I'm quite resourceful when I don't have a
lot of money. Obviously, I'm in a really good position now,
but I haven't always been, so I'm quite happy to
sell things online. When I was little, my brothers and
I used to ride around on our bikes and collect
cans because of the state I live, and you can
recycle them for money. Yes, yeah, and sometimes that would
help us get dinner for the night, especially at Dad's
house when there was a lot of money, but very resourceful.
(29:16):
So I think that's my best habit.
Speaker 2 (29:18):
Talk to me quickly about your money habits in general.
I'm going to dive into your worst one in a
hot second. But given you were so good at being
resourceful and arguably very frugal, I love this. How have
you gone from that style of lifestyle to having a
seventy two thousand dollars income, because obviously that's good money.
Are you a wizard of budgeting now?
Speaker 1 (29:38):
Like?
Speaker 2 (29:38):
What's that look like?
Speaker 3 (29:39):
I think I'm quite a bit better at budgeting than
I used to be.
Speaker 2 (29:43):
More money does help, doesn't it?
Speaker 3 (29:45):
It does?
Speaker 2 (29:45):
Yeah, like a little bit. Like we can all be
good at money, no matter what income, but it feels
easier when you have a little bit more to play with.
Speaker 3 (29:52):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (29:53):
Less stress, right.
Speaker 3 (29:53):
Yeah, a lot less stress. I think that's probably the
main thing. I think probably though I was very aware
of lifestyle, but at the same time I knew that I,
you know, lived quite a restricted like a privileged but
restricted life previously because there was a lot of money
coming in, so I wanted to make sure I gave
myself enough money to do some nice things, but at
(30:14):
the same time not spend all of my money. So yeah,
I do have quite an elaborate budget coming in. I've
actually done love Cheese on the money Master costs.
Speaker 2 (30:24):
Have you actually have?
Speaker 3 (30:25):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (30:26):
Oh my gosh, really did it help?
Speaker 3 (30:27):
It did a lot. Yeah. So I have a very
fancy spreadsheet, which I'm very pleased with.
Speaker 2 (30:32):
It's really sexy, isn't it is? Yeah, definitely very sexy.
I don't mean to be biased. I am completely biased,
but this spreadsheet is my favorite thing in the entire world. Yeah,
like it does it for you, right, Yeah.
Speaker 3 (30:43):
It's amazing and that's good because I'm not great at
maths in general. So yeah, I think probably my best
thing with budgeting is just making sure that I'm on
top of it.
Speaker 2 (30:53):
Oh my gosh, I love it. Ah, so good. I
hate to bring down the mood. What's your worst money it?
Speaker 3 (31:00):
My friend stress spending definitely guilty of avaiable. I think
there's actually in one of your early episodes not to
be a creeper.
Speaker 2 (31:07):
No, I love this.
Speaker 3 (31:09):
You talk about how sometimes when you haven't had a
lot of money growing up, there can be that tendency
to spend it when you have it, And I've definitely
felt myself kind of default that if I'm not on
top of my budget, or if I'm not kind of
looking after my mental health and being aware of my
self care needs, I can just stress spend.
Speaker 2 (31:26):
You're so tired, aren't they. Yeah, it's crazy. I cannot
believe that. I mean, obviously we've been talking about it
at She's on the money for the past four or
five years, but I just really don't understand why historically
we haven't spoken more about the relationship between mental health
and spending and just self care and spending and what
(31:46):
that looks like and how your mentality and how you're
feeling actually impacts the way that you allocate money and
spend it. Stress spending is real, Like, it's crazy. I
go through it maybe once a month when you're like,
it's always a check in for me. It's never a
oh my gosh, I used to stress spend and now
I'm over it. No, No, I default straight back to that.
(32:07):
I'm really good at it. That's why I had to
create that budget and cash Loow masterclass, because it was
for me, like to make sure that I'm on top
of my spending so that I can see everything in
a really simple, easy way, so that when I do
do that, I'm back on the bandwagon really quickly instead
of falling off completely.
Speaker 3 (32:23):
Absolutely, and I'm the same way that is my default
when I'm really stressed. I've used that as an opportunity to,
as I said, check in with myself and have a
bit of self compassion, which is a hard thing to learn.
I think if you're naturally quite hard on yourself. Yeah
it's crazy, but yeah, being like, okay, what's going on
for me here? And then you know, taking that as
an opportunity to self reflect, to go a bit deeper
instead of beating up on yourself because you know you're
(32:46):
spending a bit of extra money when you're really stressed. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (32:49):
No, couldn't agree more. All right, last question, now that
we've had a chat, I don't know. I'm not going
to tell you how I feel about this. You're going
to tell me how you feel about this. You told
us at the start of the episode that you think
your money habits or c plus, but you're working on
your emergency fund goal, You've got an investment, you're really
on top of your hex. You just told me all
about how you're already using my budgeting cash flow master class,
(33:12):
you talked about what you've been through and how you've
come out the other side to be a killer human being?
My friend, is C plus representative of your situation? Do
you think? And if it isn't, what are you? But
if it is, what would it take to get a
higher grade?
Speaker 3 (33:30):
I think I'm the C plus this week? This week,
this week because I did some stress spending, so I
think it varies.
Speaker 2 (33:36):
Sweet, we don't change out grade based on that, no, no, no, no, okay,
no that's too high school.
Speaker 3 (33:42):
No okay, okay, Probably in general, maybe a B.
Speaker 2 (33:46):
Then all right, what would it take to get to
an A? My friend?
Speaker 3 (33:49):
I think maybe more consistent investing. I would like to
do that once I've got in my emergency fund to
a level I'm happy with, and then I think I'd
be pretty happy.
Speaker 2 (33:57):
I don't even think you have to change anything to
get to Honestly, obviously, your goals are really important, and
when you achieve that, you're going to feel more like
an A. But you have everything in place to be
in that position, it's just going to take time. Like
how cool is that to think the fact that you
are already in that position to be in a The
only difference is, Okay, it's just going to take some
(34:18):
time because to build up your emergency fund, that's going
to take a few months. That'll be fine. Once that's there,
What are you gonna do, You're gonna start investing? Like,
I'm so excited for you because I feel like there's
nothing to change, there's nothing to update. You just have
to keep on keeping on. How good.
Speaker 3 (34:33):
And I do have to say thank you to you.
My financial literacy is all thanks to Sheet's on the Money. Honestly,
my journey. My friend sent me an episode back during
the first season. It was the one about Hex and yeah,
from there, I feel like I've just the world has
opened up and I just yeah, so it's really all
thanks to you.
Speaker 2 (34:51):
Ah, that makes me so happy. We need to stop
talking about it, though, because I end up crying.
Speaker 3 (34:56):
Hey sorry, and that's.
Speaker 2 (34:57):
Not that sexy on a podcast. But I'm so grateful.
It makes my heart so full to know that not
only have we created content that impacts people, but they
like love it too, Like it's just it's so nice. Anyway,
thank you so much. It has been a beautiful experience
having a chat with you. I feel like I've learned
so much about what you do and how you do it,
and I feel like we are richer having met you.
(35:19):
So thank you so much. I'm so grateful, thank you
for having me. The advice shared on She's on the
Money is general in nature and does not consider your
individual circumstances. She's on the Money exists purely for educational
purposes and should not be relied upon to make an
(35:40):
investment or financial decision. If you do choose to buy
a financial product, read the PDS TMD and obtain appropriate
financial advice tailored towards your needs. Victoria Divine and She's
on the Money are authorized representatives of Money. Sheva pty
Ltd ABN three two one is six four nine two
seven seven zero eight a f s L four five
(36:02):
one two eight nine
Hello, my name's Santasha Nabananga Bamblet. I'm a proud yr
the Order Kernye Whoalbury and a waddery woman. And before
we get started on She's on the Money podcast, I
would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land
of which this podcast is recorded on a wondery country,
acknowledging the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming
(00:22):
through as this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing
and the storytelling of you to make a difference for
today and lasting impact for tomorrow.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
Let's get into it.
Speaker 3 (00:34):
She's on the Money, She's on the Money.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
Hello, and welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast
for millennials who want financial freedom. Welcome back to another
one of our money daries where I get to talk
to one of our incredible She's on the Money community
members all about their financial and life journey. Let's jump
straight into it, because this week I got a message
that went like this, Hi, Victoria. My brothers and I
(01:20):
were raised by our single mum and watched her experience
bankruptcy after leaving a domestic violence relationship with my dad,
who is also a gambling addict after my own mental
health and health struggles. I'm now working in child protection
after nine years at university, and I'm earning a full
time salary for the first time ever at age twenty seven.
(01:42):
Before we jump even further into this episode and welcome
our beautiful moneydarist to the show, I do want to
just give a bit of a content warning here. This
week's episode we're going to discuss things like eating disorders,
domestic violence, abuse, and depression. So if that is not
an episode do you want to listen to or you're
not in the right mindset for it, that is so fine.
We literally have hundreds of other episodes you can go
(02:04):
and listen to right now, So go and do that.
But if you're sticking with us to listen to this
money Diary, welcome and Money Diarist. Let's jump straight in,
my friend.
Speaker 3 (02:14):
Sounds good? All right.
Speaker 2 (02:15):
Let's start with the very first question, which as always
is my friend, what grade would you give your money
habits if I asked you to give them a grade
from A through F.
Speaker 3 (02:25):
I think probably a C plus a C plus.
Speaker 2 (02:28):
All right, well, I think that frames the conversation. Now
my favorite question, let's dive in money diarists. I want
to know, can you tell us a little bit more
about your money story.
Speaker 3 (02:39):
Yeah, of course. So I grew up with two brothers
and my dad was unfortunately an alcoholic. It also had
a gambling addiction, so we didn't grow up with a
lot of money because he unfortunately, we'd spend most of
it after he got his paychecks. But my mum did
her best to keep the family running. And then when
I was about eight, mum left because of the domestic violence,
(03:03):
and yeah, things got a little bit worse from there
for a little bit. Obviously, having my mum care for
us most of the time on a single parents wage
was really difficult, and there was also a long court
process the divorce and splitting up the assets of the house,
which was a bit messy.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
Oh my gosh, it would have been so stressful and
it ate you kind of only know a little bit
about what's going on. That's it, not the whole story,
so it feels a little bit ambiguous, and absolutely was
it stressful as an eight year old to go through that.
Speaker 3 (03:34):
It was very stressful. I think also seeing your parents
so stressed is hard. But at the time my dad
also was very keen on having my brothers and I
know everything that was going on, So there was a
bit of emotional you know, reading the court affidavits to
us saying how bad our mum was, all that kind
of stuff. So obviously, now from a bit more of
a tuma lens, I can see that's not appropriate. But
(03:55):
when you're young, you just want.
Speaker 2 (03:57):
You just don't know what you don't know. When you're young,
that's it. You just think, oh, Dad's trying to share
with us what's going on. Like to me, that would
you know as an eight year old makes sense exactly,
But there are some things that you're not emotionally ready for,
and that happens to be one of them, exactly.
Speaker 3 (04:12):
And then when I was eleven years old, my dad
moved into state and left us in my mum's care
full time. And that was a bit of a surprise
because we didn't know it was coming. He sort of
just dropped us off one day and then we were
living with mum. And then from there, when I was
a teenager, I developed some disordered eating mental health struggles.
My mum has been so supportive the whole time, but yeah,
(04:34):
definitely a bit of a roller coaster and got my
first job at McDonald's when I was fifteen, working for
eight dollars an hour, so.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
Eight dollars that you were probably like, this is the
best money I've ever earned in my whole life.
Speaker 3 (04:46):
Absolutely, And I think that was the first time because
we did struggle with money so much when I was younger,
I really felt like I have some control here, you know,
I'm making my own money, and that was a great feeling.
And then when I was in high school at seventeen,
my mom did go bankrupt because she had taken on
a lot of debt to look after my brothers and
I by herself. That had been really hard on her.
(05:07):
And she also had another partner at that time who
was unfortunately abusive as well and very dependent on her.
So she left him but was left with a lot
of debt and so went bankrupt after that, and then
things were rough for a while. But yeah, they're looking
up now.
Speaker 2 (05:24):
Wow, I feel like that is a rollercoaster. I really
want to go and just like grab your mum and
hug her. Yeah, she's super supportive, but from the sounds
of it, she backs you to the end of the earth,
but maybe doesn't look after herself in the same way
that you get looked after and you just want to
go mum, like, look after yourself too.
Speaker 3 (05:42):
Come on, absolutely, yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:44):
Oh can I jump back to the disordered eating, Yes,
of course I want to talk about that. That's something
that I have experienced before, and I guess that's why,
you know, opening the conversation up around this is really
really important to me. I want to know a bit
more about I guess where that came from, because often
it's not about being thin, it's not about you know,
(06:06):
becoming a model like a lot of people think, where
do you think that stemmed from? Was that maybe a
control issue? I say that only because you said earlier
I got my first job at McDonald's and I felt
more in control. Yeah, talk to me about that situation.
Speaker 3 (06:23):
Sure. So I think I was conscious of my way
from very early on, and it was actually something that
my dad criticized a lot.
Speaker 2 (06:29):
He was very canceled. One out of ten that is
not appropriate dad behavior.
Speaker 3 (06:34):
Yeah, I know, but yeah, he was very fixated on
my appearance, you know, my mum's parents, my brother's appearance,
and it was always a reflection of him in his eyes.
So I think probably from early on I was quite
self conscious of myself and wanted to change a lot
about my body. I think probably the earliest age I
remember feeling unhappy about this something about my body was
probably about four.
Speaker 2 (06:55):
Oh, my heart, you shouldn't care about your body. At four,
you'd be caring about sand castles and chasing people and
whether you can have ice cream up to dinner or not.
Speaker 3 (07:07):
Absolutely, And I can see all that now, but yes,
I think that's probably where it first came from. Is
that wanting to be what he thought was enough. And
that started with, you know, lots of calory, restriction over exercising,
and I think probably the fact that my parents were
going through a divorce and then Dad moved into state.
There was that more sense of trying to please everybody,
(07:28):
and that was the thing I could control, Especially before
I got the job, I didn't really have any other
control or other than I did really well at school
because I think that was how I could prove that
I was trying really hard. And I'm a bit of
a perfectionist.
Speaker 2 (07:39):
Same girlfriend, cut paste. I mean, I didn't go through
the same traumatic circumstances as you. But it's funny because
having gone through disordered eating, I feel like when I
speak to other people who have had similar experiences, I'm like, oh,
my gosh, what about this? What about that? And you
kind of go, yeah, the job probably really helped because
it gave that sense of control that you didn't feel
(08:00):
like you had earlier. Do you feel like that helped
you on your recovery journey?
Speaker 3 (08:05):
Yes or no? I think for a while there I
did feel like I had more control, and like as
a teenager in high school, when I felt like I
had more of an identity as someone who did well
at school, had a good group of friends, had a
nice boyfriend at the time, and things were going well.
And then in year twelve, I think might sorted eating
really hit its peak. I'd broken up with my boyfriend,
and I also put a lot of pressure on myself
(08:27):
to get like the most perfect score so I could
get into the best courses at UNI. I wanted to
study law originally, so the ATel was quite high.
Speaker 2 (08:35):
So much unnecessary pressure, Like the idea that at sixteen
seventeen you're meant to decide what you want to do
for the rest of your life when your brain is
not even fully developed. You aren't even making good decisions
at that point. Why do you think i'd make a
good decision about my career, Like, why are you putting
this pressure on me? I can't even be trusted to
(08:56):
go out on my own at this point.
Speaker 3 (08:57):
Yeah, exactly exactly, And looking back now, I'm like, oh, obviously,
as I said, well you said at the beginning, took
nine years for me to get through UNI anyway, So
now I could just laugh and be like, oh, I
had no idea of but yeah, I was putting a
lot of pressure on myself to be perfect in every
way that I thought I needed to be, and I think, yeah,
eating and trying to control my image was definitely one
part of that.
Speaker 2 (09:18):
Do you think that that's part of your narrative today,
Like is that something that you still struggle with or
is it something that you have moved beyond, Like what
does that look like today?
Speaker 3 (09:26):
Yeah, I think I've had a lot of therapy from
about age twenty two until now, so five good years,
and I think my relationship with food has improved a lot,
and also with my body. I think when I was
like in the thick of it, it was something that
I worried about all the time constantly, Whereas I've gotten
to a place now where it might be like a
little thought that pops up every once in a while,
(09:48):
but it's not something that I feel like controls me.
Which now I'm looking back, iack and see I didn't
have control. It was actually controlling me. The thoughts were
controlling me. And now when they come up, I can
be like, nope, we're not doing that. Push it aside.
Speaker 2 (10:01):
Ah. I love that you're able to say no, it's
not controlling me. I think when you go through circumstances
like this, especially disordered eating, it's something that you learn.
And I'm so glad you've had therapy because it's not
something you can teach yourself, like you actually just need
someone to come in and be like, Okay, here are
the strategies that you need to implement. This is what
we need to do to put you in the best
(10:21):
possible position. But it never leaves fully. I don't believe
as somebody who goes through that, but you actually get
all these strategies. So when it pops up, you can
go no, no, no, we're going to quosh that, like,
that's not how we think, Victoria, that's not what we're
doing today. And I think that that can be really helpful.
But I also think talking about that side of it
is really important because I would hate for people to
(10:43):
think that, like quote, therapy cures you and you'll be
completely over it. No, it's something that mentally is always
going to be there, but we can kind of use
to our advantage with the right tools and the right resources.
And I think that that's.
Speaker 3 (10:57):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:57):
I'm so glad you're in that position. And you look
happy and healthy right now. You look glowy and smiley,
and it just I think that you are absolutely thriving.
So that is my favorite thing ever. Before I move
on to the next question, I just wanted to plug
the Butterfly Foundation here. If this is something that you
are struggling with. The Butterfly Foundation is one of my
favorite resources for disordered eating. You can check them out online.
(11:20):
They're on Instagram, They're basically everywhere. They've also got a
really beautiful hotline if you want to call them. I'll
put all of the links in the show notes if
you need them, but please reach out to them. I
did when I was younger, and they are the kindest, honestly,
the nicest people in the entire world. And I feel
like when reaching out for help and money direst I'm
not sure if you felt the same way. You just
like put it off, put it off, put it off,
(11:41):
and then when you do, you're like, why didn't I
do this soon? Nice? As scary as you think it's going.
Speaker 3 (11:46):
To be, Yeah, I think definitely waiting til that crisis point.
Speaker 2 (11:49):
Don't do that. Yeah, don't do that idea.
Speaker 3 (11:52):
Yeah, get help as as soon as you think you're right,
need it. Definitely reach out. It's worth it, You're worth it.
Speaker 2 (11:58):
So absolutely all right, money, Dirice, I want to know
more about you today. Tell me you said in your
letter into me that you're finally earning a full time salary.
What do you do for work? How much money do
you earn?
Speaker 1 (12:10):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (12:10):
So I'm a social worker in a child protection state
based child protection agency and I earned seventy two tho
and ninety one dollars a year.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
You earn seventy two that's good for like first year
out of UNI.
Speaker 3 (12:23):
It is and much more than I've ever dreamed of making,
or ever dreamed of making when I was younger. So yeah,
I feel a bit strange about it, to be honest.
Speaker 2 (12:32):
Oh my gosh, So tell me about these nine years
at UNI. So what degree is did you do like
did you do them part time? Full time? And kind
of what led you to child protection?
Speaker 3 (12:42):
So I started off at UNI when I was seventeen.
Speaker 2 (12:45):
So a little baby, that's a little baby.
Speaker 3 (12:47):
My mum had to sign the permission slips so I
could use computers at the university, which is quite funny
because I was taking on a lot of debt that
was old enough to sign those poms.
Speaker 2 (12:55):
But like, so you'll let me go into debt, but
you won't let me google it?
Speaker 3 (12:58):
Yeah, exactly. And I started off doing a double degree
in international relations and arts, and I had kind of
dreams of being, you know, some kind of diplomat or
maybe going to law later, but I wasn't too sure.
But at the time I was also struggling with my
mental health and had quite a lot of anxiety and
would later be diagnosed with an anxiety disorder and depression,
(13:18):
but at that time I didn't know. I just thought,
why am I coping? So I ended up dropping the
international degree and going just for arts, but unfortunately I
did fail quite a lot of topics. Because I felt
too anxious to go to class, I used to try
and go to the tute and then I would just
walk straight past the door and go sit in the
toilet and hide in the toilet stall for quite a while,
(13:41):
just because I was so anxious. And I think this
probably went on for quite a while before I reached
out for help with my GP. So after that there
was a bit of a learning curve, trying new SSRIs
or antidepressant medications and new approaches with you know, trying
to work with my anxiety. I could attend UNI, but
it was kind of an uphill at all. It was
(14:05):
about three years where I was doing okay and then
not doing okay at UNI. So I didn't end up
finishing my arts degree until twenty twenty.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
Actually, congratul how exciting you did it.
Speaker 3 (14:16):
Thank you. Yeah, I wish i'd been a bit kinder
to myself at the time and just done part time
UNI and maybe gotten the help I needed a bit earlier.
So that's okay. You know, reflection is much easier and
we learn exactly.
Speaker 2 (14:29):
Hopefully somebody else is listening to this thing gets to
learn from your story so that we don't repeat it exactly.
Speaker 3 (14:36):
So that was seven years for that undergrad which is
usually three.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
That's okay.
Speaker 3 (14:40):
It is okay, and I did take off a couple
of two six month breaks in there as well, and
I was really struggling. And then in twenty twenty one,
after the whole COVID.
Speaker 2 (14:53):
Thing, Yeah, that thing happened, Yeah, that little thing that ways,
get this, the first lockdown happened three years.
Speaker 3 (15:00):
I know, it's crazy to think about.
Speaker 2 (15:02):
It triggers me. It triggers me so bad. It reminds
me of how I carried my computer screen home and
thought it was just going to be two weeks. Yeah,
and then like a month later, it's like two pm
in the afternoon and I'd ask my partner, do you
want a wine? And that was normal.
Speaker 3 (15:17):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it feels like a long time ago,
but also yesterday, And so I was thinking about what
I wanted to do next. I didn't know if I
wanted to do, honest, because I was quite interested in
looking at like women's portrayals or portrayals of women's madness
in literature and how that plays into society's views of women.
Speaker 2 (15:37):
That would have been so cool. Did you do that?
Speaker 3 (15:39):
I didn't. I studied social work in Stace.
Speaker 2 (15:41):
That's okay, that's okay. It's an interesting topic none the less.
Speaker 3 (15:44):
Yeah, and I think given my experiences growing up and
witnessing my dad be very cruel to my mother, and
he used to say, you're mad. You know. There wasn't
really a lot of awareness of mental health from his part.
It was just you're crazy if you're struggling. So I
think that's definitely fueled my interests in that and also
maybe my reluctance to get help until I was a
(16:05):
little bit older. Yeah, So instead, I had that time
after I finished my degree to consider what I wanted
to do, and I thought, I kind of want to
do something that can help. There was a lot of
articles flying around at the time about you know, increased
domestic violence and you know, homelessness, and I think COVID
really just highlighted all the problems or the systems that
(16:27):
were failing already. And so I thought, what can I do?
And social work was the solution I came up with.
So I did a two masters and then yeah, I
went into child protection because I thought that was an
area that I could maybe make a difference in.
Speaker 2 (16:44):
Oh my gosh, my whole heart. Knowing your background and
where you've come from, and that arguably you were a
child at some point that needed protecting. Ah, Like, do
you feel like this is your way of kind of
like protecting kids that might have been in similar so
ccumstances to you? Like, this is heavy, I think So.
Speaker 3 (17:04):
I think I don't know if I would have even
considered this work as an option if I hadn't maybe
done some reflecting on my own experiences as a child
and noticed or recognized with help that there was abuse there,
and yeah, wanting to help other kids obviously it's quite
different in child protection, but knowing that maybe I could
(17:27):
help protect them and ensure that they're safe, and also
work with families to make sure they have the right
resources to keep their children safe as well. Sometimes I
feel like would be really rewarding, or is really rewarding.
Speaker 2 (17:38):
So tell me more about this role, because I feel
like we often gloss over rolls when we say children's
protective services. That could be a lot of things, right,
There are lots of different categories of how people in
these roles work. But can you tell me a little
bit about what your day to day job looks like.
Speaker 3 (17:56):
Yeah, so I've only been in it for about four
months now, and I've actually had two different roles in
that time. So the one I'm in at the moment
is an assessment based role, So that involves when notifications
are screened in and theirconcerns raised about maybe the safety
of a child, we will go out and speak with
(18:17):
the parents or whoever maybe involve speak with the children,
and then may or may not open an investigation from there,
and yeah, then the whole investigation process will start and
supports and support partners endos may become involved. Or if
at the end of the investigation it's deemed that the
child is not safe where they are and whoever their
(18:37):
caregivers are cannot provide that safety for them, there may
be a removal.
Speaker 2 (18:41):
Oh my whole heart. That is so heavy to do
on a day to day basis. How are you looking
after you through these things?
Speaker 3 (18:48):
Yeah, I think it's something that's evolved my self care routine.
At first, I had this whole list of you know,
like I will come home and do meditation, or I
will make sure that I'm doing yoga three times a week,
and those things are all really good. But I think
the best thing I've done for myself is form really
great relationships with my colleagues, making sure I'm still attending
(19:09):
therapy for myself.
Speaker 2 (19:10):
Yeah, one hundred percent.
Speaker 3 (19:12):
And when I get home sometimes I just need to
go into the back lawn and just lie on it
and just look at.
Speaker 2 (19:16):
The sky for a little bit bit grounded.
Speaker 3 (19:18):
Yeah, that's why my big things, kick off my shoes
and just go lie on the grass and be like
it's okay. I'm still a person. I'm here like the
world's bad, but not everything's bad, you know.
Speaker 2 (19:28):
Yeah, Oh my gosh. I don't know if I could
do a role like that, I feel like it would
break me. I feel like it takes such a special
person to be able to do it. And we need you,
like we need people like you who are looking after kids,
and I wish I was as special as that. Like
I just feel like the emotional energy that you give
to your job, I often feel so grateful that I
(19:48):
can go home, Like I'm not a brain surgeon. I'm
not you know, doing things that are you know, ultimately
impacting people in ways that are kind of life or death,
but your circumstances are right. Like if you make an assessment,
and I don't mean to be too dramatic or make
it sound awful for you, but like if you make
it the wrong assessment that could be catastrophic for a kid, right,
or if you leave a circumstance that you have been
(20:10):
evaluating and you just like, I want to scoop them
up and take them home because I don't feel like
they're safe and we are going to open an investigation,
but you know, in that moment you have to leave
them there, right. I just feel like that's heavy, and
I feel like, I'm just so grateful that people like
you exist. You are so special and I'm so just
I was so happy to know you.
Speaker 3 (20:29):
Yeah, I think it's not something I entered into lightly,
and it's that I'm actually quite new at their investigation
and assessments role. For a couple of months previously, and
where I actually did my social work placement was working
with children who were already in long term care, so
we children in posticcare and that's quite different on the
day to day. And I wasn't sure about child protection
at first anyway, because obviously in Australia we have the
(20:52):
stolen generations and I didn't want to be part of
a system that. You know, Abridge and Torreshare Island children
are still removed at a much higher rate than non
Indigenous children, and you know, with the stolen generations. I
just wasn't sure that that was a system I wanted
to be a part of. But I did get my
final year placement at the department, and it was through
(21:15):
working there and seeing all the good work they do
and working with Aboriginal colleagues and non Aboriginal colleagues, I thought, Okay,
this is something I think I can do. I feel
okay about.
Speaker 2 (21:25):
I feel like we need people like you in those
roles because things like that happened. We need people like
you are so aware of those things. I think it's
so close minded and shallow when people don't do things.
Or I heard someone the other day they're like, yeah,
I just don't see color. I'm just like, I can't
conceptualize how you think that's helping anybody like I cannot
(21:47):
understand because, to be honest, by seeing it, by going
your indigenous, you actually need and deserve more support in
this system than somebody who is white going through it, right,
because there are more barriers to entry, there are more
barriers to going through these things. There is unfortunately not
as much education. I feel like being able to say yes,
(22:09):
I understand it, and I can acknowledge that, and I
know that this was wrong, but I can go above
and beyond in those circumstances to make sure that the
people who need the most protection get it. That's what
we need to be doing, not going, oh my gosh,
let's just treat absolutely everybody equally. It's identical the process,
it's exactly the same. I genuinely believe that the process
needs to be stepped up because you're right, Aboriginal and
(22:31):
torrost right Islander kids are being taken at higher rates
because they aren't as safe. How do we fix that.
We can't just sweep it under the rug and be
like everybody needs to be treated the same, right. It
blows my mind.
Speaker 3 (22:43):
Yeah, and I think there is, you know, colonization. I
think we're taught in school, if we're taught at all,
as something that happened in the past, but it's really
the effects are still ongoing. The stolen generations are not
that long ago at all, so it can't be blind
to it as non Indigenous people. And you know, I
think that's really irresponsible and harmful.
Speaker 2 (23:05):
So I couldn't agree more. All right, let's move back
onto money topics, because I could have actually rant about
this all day, and I'm sure you could as well,
but I want to know. Let's go back to you personally.
What are your big money goals? What are we working towards?
My friend set the moment.
Speaker 3 (23:20):
My biggest goal is just building up my emergency fund.
So it got depleted while I was on placements. So
you have two four month placements where you're basically at
the placement site full time but not earning any money,
So just wanting to build that up again. That's my
biggest money goal. And also I'm planning a trip to
Japan and South Korea next year.
Speaker 2 (23:39):
So oh so fun. Can you tell me more about
this emergency fund? Yes, how have you calculated how much
you want in it?
Speaker 1 (23:46):
Like?
Speaker 2 (23:47):
Is it a month's worth of expenses? Three months worth
of expense? Like, what's going to make you feel most comfortable?
Speaker 3 (23:52):
It is three months worth of expenses, and then I
put two thousand dollars on top because that just made
me feel better.
Speaker 2 (23:59):
Hey, I like, yeah, I really like that. All Right,
I'm going to go to a really quick break because
this has become very quickly a very long episode. We
need a hot break, and after the break, we're going
to talk about debt, investment, best and worst money habits.
Guys don't go anywhere money Diarist. We are back, and
I feel like you are such a special human and
(24:20):
I am feeling so beyond grateful to be able to
share you with our community. I want to know, though,
let's dive straight in. Do you invest? If so, what
do you invest in? If not? Is there a plan?
Speaker 3 (24:32):
I do invest just a little so I have about
one thousand dollars in spaceship.
Speaker 2 (24:37):
What do you mean a little? A thousand dollars is
a lot of money, my friend, And.
Speaker 3 (24:40):
A lot of that was from when I was a student.
I was actually only putting in about five dollars a month,
and it was more like an investment in my financial education.
But it's grown over time.
Speaker 2 (24:50):
I love that. That's such as sheeesel on the money phrase,
you're obviously an og.
Speaker 3 (24:54):
Yeah, og, yeah definitely. And then I have super as well.
Speaker 2 (24:58):
How good. I feel like that's actually the perfect example
of why investing small amounts just makes sense. Like you're
now able to say, yeah, I've got a grand invested.
Most of us who are working our very first job
out of university don't have a thousand dollars in an
investment portfolio. But you do, and it's from all of
those tiny amounts that you were saving during university. Yeah, Like,
(25:21):
is that not? That's elite? Like that is such a
stepping stone that you probably didn't even realize you needed,
like to already be an investor, that is, outside of superannuation.
I'm obsessed with that. We did an entire episode recently
actually on investing small amounts and whether it's worth it,
ruining the episode here. Yes, of course it is worth it.
(25:41):
I will always recommend investing, even if it is small amounts,
because now you've got a grand that you didn't have before.
That's worth it, right, Yeah?
Speaker 3 (25:50):
And I think also, you know, the market has been
quite brutal the last couple of years. You gave me
that confidence of seeing the market go up and down
and knowing it's okay. I can ride this like and
have more confidence not to be can withdraw any money
in the future, I think?
Speaker 2 (26:02):
Yes, Love, All right, talk to me about debt. Do
you have any If so, what is it?
Speaker 3 (26:07):
I have a lot of hextep Yes.
Speaker 2 (26:10):
Nine years at university will do that. I'm so sorry
to spoil that.
Speaker 3 (26:13):
That will so I have seventy four thousand, three hundred
and fifty dollars in HEX add ten one hundred and
seventy one dollars and fifty five cents in startup loans,
which if you're getting any kind of centering payment while
you're at university, you can also opt in for a
startup loan of one thousand dollars at the start of
a semester and that can go towards costs for you know,
(26:33):
university items or education.
Speaker 2 (26:35):
Items, textbooks, everything. I feel like that's a really helpful
loan scheme as well, because obviously there's no interest on it,
so that makes it very attractive. But also university is
so expensive beyond hex, like the textbooks, Like I did psychology,
and a lot of the coursework in psychology overlaps with
social work. I could not believe that my social work
(26:57):
subject course books were like one hundred fifty to two
hundred and fifty dollars to help other people like what what?
That's crazy? And you always need the most up to
date edition. You can't just go and buy you know,
oh there's a secondhand when a well it's not the
right edition, is it?
Speaker 3 (27:12):
That's it? Yeah, I did use some of that money
to kind of boost up my income. So when I
was really struggling with anxiety and not able to work,
that did go towards having making sure I could pay
like my phone bill and for petrol for my count
five percent.
Speaker 2 (27:27):
I love that you had access to that. That makes
me so happy to know you were supported. Question though,
what are you doing about that debt?
Speaker 1 (27:35):
So?
Speaker 2 (27:35):
Are you just letting a tick along? Are you planning
on making additional repayments?
Speaker 1 (27:39):
Like?
Speaker 2 (27:39):
Have you even thought about this?
Speaker 3 (27:41):
Yeah? So at the moment, I'm just letting it tick along.
I did just want to quickly say, if anyone is
struggling at UNI and is you know, failing topics because
of mental health or first circumstances at home, you can
actually reply for remission of some of your topics if
you meet the criteria.
Speaker 2 (27:56):
Yes you can. That's such a oh, thank you for
bringing that up so smart.
Speaker 3 (28:01):
So I wish I knew about that a bit sooner.
But that basically means that if you meet the criteria
and your apply and it's approved, the debt will actually
be removed for you.
Speaker 1 (28:11):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (28:11):
Do they just delete it? They say, all money, direst
no worries. We totally get it. And the government go,
we're going to remove that unit or that course. Like,
I don't think I've ever seen it happen for an
entire degree, no, but if you're on it. I do
know someone who had literally four subjects in one semester
credited because they were like, look, I went past the
census state. And if anyone's at university, you know, the
(28:32):
census state's like that cut off date where you can
back out without it costing you anything if you go
past that though, and you know, let's just say the
proverbial hits the fan. It's so nice to know that
that's an option.
Speaker 3 (28:45):
Definitely.
Speaker 2 (28:45):
Oh, I'm glad we're talking about that. That's so helpful.
I feel like that's a really good money tip. Though
I wouldn't know what is your best money habit.
Speaker 3 (28:54):
I think I'm quite resourceful when I don't have a
lot of money. Obviously, I'm in a really good position now,
but I haven't always been, so I'm quite happy to
sell things online. When I was little, my brothers and
I used to ride around on our bikes and collect
cans because of the state I live, and you can
recycle them for money. Yes, yeah, and sometimes that would
help us get dinner for the night, especially at Dad's
house when there was a lot of money, but very resourceful.
(29:16):
So I think that's my best habit.
Speaker 2 (29:18):
Talk to me quickly about your money habits in general.
I'm going to dive into your worst one in a
hot second. But given you were so good at being
resourceful and arguably very frugal, I love this. How have
you gone from that style of lifestyle to having a
seventy two thousand dollars income, because obviously that's good money.
Are you a wizard of budgeting now?
Speaker 1 (29:38):
Like?
Speaker 2 (29:38):
What's that look like?
Speaker 3 (29:39):
I think I'm quite a bit better at budgeting than
I used to be.
Speaker 2 (29:43):
More money does help, doesn't it?
Speaker 3 (29:45):
It does?
Speaker 2 (29:45):
Yeah, like a little bit. Like we can all be
good at money, no matter what income, but it feels
easier when you have a little bit more to play with.
Speaker 3 (29:52):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (29:53):
Less stress, right.
Speaker 3 (29:53):
Yeah, a lot less stress. I think that's probably the
main thing. I think probably though I was very aware
of lifestyle, but at the same time I knew that I,
you know, lived quite a restricted like a privileged but
restricted life previously because there was a lot of money
coming in, so I wanted to make sure I gave
myself enough money to do some nice things, but at
(30:14):
the same time not spend all of my money. So yeah,
I do have quite an elaborate budget coming in. I've
actually done love Cheese on the money Master costs.
Speaker 2 (30:24):
Have you actually have?
Speaker 3 (30:25):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (30:26):
Oh my gosh, really did it help?
Speaker 3 (30:27):
It did a lot. Yeah. So I have a very
fancy spreadsheet, which I'm very pleased with.
Speaker 2 (30:32):
It's really sexy, isn't it is? Yeah, definitely very sexy.
I don't mean to be biased. I am completely biased,
but this spreadsheet is my favorite thing in the entire world. Yeah,
like it does it for you, right, Yeah.
Speaker 3 (30:43):
It's amazing and that's good because I'm not great at
maths in general. So yeah, I think probably my best
thing with budgeting is just making sure that I'm on
top of it.
Speaker 2 (30:53):
Oh my gosh, I love it. Ah, so good. I
hate to bring down the mood. What's your worst money it?
Speaker 3 (31:00):
My friend stress spending definitely guilty of avaiable. I think
there's actually in one of your early episodes not to
be a creeper.
Speaker 2 (31:07):
No, I love this.
Speaker 3 (31:09):
You talk about how sometimes when you haven't had a
lot of money growing up, there can be that tendency
to spend it when you have it, And I've definitely
felt myself kind of default that if I'm not on
top of my budget, or if I'm not kind of
looking after my mental health and being aware of my
self care needs, I can just stress spend.
Speaker 2 (31:26):
You're so tired, aren't they. Yeah, it's crazy. I cannot
believe that. I mean, obviously we've been talking about it
at She's on the money for the past four or
five years, but I just really don't understand why historically
we haven't spoken more about the relationship between mental health
and spending and just self care and spending and what
(31:46):
that looks like and how your mentality and how you're
feeling actually impacts the way that you allocate money and
spend it. Stress spending is real, Like, it's crazy. I
go through it maybe once a month when you're like,
it's always a check in for me. It's never a
oh my gosh, I used to stress spend and now
I'm over it. No, No, I default straight back to that.
(32:07):
I'm really good at it. That's why I had to
create that budget and cash Loow masterclass, because it was
for me, like to make sure that I'm on top
of my spending so that I can see everything in
a really simple, easy way, so that when I do
do that, I'm back on the bandwagon really quickly instead
of falling off completely.
Speaker 3 (32:23):
Absolutely, and I'm the same way that is my default
when I'm really stressed. I've used that as an opportunity to,
as I said, check in with myself and have a
bit of self compassion, which is a hard thing to learn.
I think if you're naturally quite hard on yourself. Yeah
it's crazy, but yeah, being like, okay, what's going on
for me here? And then you know, taking that as
an opportunity to self reflect, to go a bit deeper
instead of beating up on yourself because you know you're
(32:46):
spending a bit of extra money when you're really stressed. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (32:49):
No, couldn't agree more. All right, last question, now that
we've had a chat, I don't know. I'm not going
to tell you how I feel about this. You're going
to tell me how you feel about this. You told
us at the start of the episode that you think
your money habits or c plus, but you're working on
your emergency fund goal, You've got an investment, you're really
on top of your hex. You just told me all
about how you're already using my budgeting cash flow master class,
(33:12):
you talked about what you've been through and how you've
come out the other side to be a killer human being?
My friend, is C plus representative of your situation? Do
you think? And if it isn't, what are you? But
if it is, what would it take to get a
higher grade?
Speaker 3 (33:30):
I think I'm the C plus this week? This week,
this week because I did some stress spending, so I
think it varies.
Speaker 2 (33:36):
Sweet, we don't change out grade based on that, no, no, no, no, okay,
no that's too high school.
Speaker 3 (33:42):
No okay, okay, Probably in general, maybe a B.
Speaker 2 (33:46):
Then all right, what would it take to get to
an A? My friend?
Speaker 3 (33:49):
I think maybe more consistent investing. I would like to
do that once I've got in my emergency fund to
a level I'm happy with, and then I think I'd
be pretty happy.
Speaker 2 (33:57):
I don't even think you have to change anything to
get to Honestly, obviously, your goals are really important, and
when you achieve that, you're going to feel more like
an A. But you have everything in place to be
in that position, it's just going to take time. Like
how cool is that to think the fact that you
are already in that position to be in a The
only difference is, Okay, it's just going to take some
(34:18):
time because to build up your emergency fund, that's going
to take a few months. That'll be fine. Once that's there,
What are you gonna do, You're gonna start investing? Like,
I'm so excited for you because I feel like there's
nothing to change, there's nothing to update. You just have
to keep on keeping on. How good.
Speaker 3 (34:33):
And I do have to say thank you to you.
My financial literacy is all thanks to Sheet's on the Money. Honestly,
my journey. My friend sent me an episode back during
the first season. It was the one about Hex and yeah,
from there, I feel like I've just the world has
opened up and I just yeah, so it's really all
thanks to you.
Speaker 2 (34:51):
Ah, that makes me so happy. We need to stop
talking about it, though, because I end up crying.
Speaker 3 (34:56):
Hey sorry, and that's.
Speaker 2 (34:57):
Not that sexy on a podcast. But I'm so grateful.
It makes my heart so full to know that not
only have we created content that impacts people, but they
like love it too, Like it's just it's so nice. Anyway,
thank you so much. It has been a beautiful experience
having a chat with you. I feel like I've learned
so much about what you do and how you do it,
and I feel like we are richer having met you.
(35:19):
So thank you so much. I'm so grateful, thank you
for having me. The advice shared on She's on the
Money is general in nature and does not consider your
individual circumstances. She's on the Money exists purely for educational
purposes and should not be relied upon to make an
(35:40):
investment or financial decision. If you do choose to buy
a financial product, read the PDS TMD and obtain appropriate
financial advice tailored towards your needs. Victoria Divine and She's
on the Money are authorized representatives of Money. Sheva pty
Ltd ABN three two one is six four nine two
seven seven zero eight a f s L four five
(36:02):
one two eight nine
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