July 13, 2025 • 44 mins
Ever felt like your whole life got flipped without warning? Like one minute you're managing work, babies, bills... and the next, everything's on fire? This week's Money Diary is for anyone who's had to start over when they really, really didn’t plan to. The same week our diarist returned to work after maternity leave, her husband left (over text!!!) for another woman, leaving her with six-month-old twins and half of their $50K in debt. But after all that heartbreak, what follows is the kind of ending that makes you think: "That breakup? Honestly, best thing that ever happened to you." We're talking career glow-ups, investing wins, serious boundary-setting, and a new partner who proves the good ones do exist. This one’s for anyone who needs a little reminder that your worst moment might just be your turning point.
Ready to binge more relatable, inspiring, and downright juicy money stories? Check out our ultimate Money Diaries playlist. Listen now
Join our Facebook Group AKA the ultimate support network for money advice and inspiration. Ask questions, share tips, and celebrate your wins with a like-minded crew of 300,000+.
And follow us on Instagram for Q&As, bite-sized tips, daily money inspo... and relatable money memes that just get you.
Acknowledgement of Country By Nartarsha Bamblett aka Queen Acknowledgements.
The advice shared on She's On The Money is general in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's On The Money exists purely for educational purposes and should not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision. If you do choose to buy a financial product, read the PDS, TMD and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored towards your needs. Victoria Devine and She's On The Money are authorised representatives of Money Sherpa PTY LTD ABN - 321649 27708, AFSL - 451289.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
My name is Aatasha Bamblet. I'm a proud First Nations
woman and I'm here to acknowledge country t Glenn Young
Ganya Niana, kaka ya Ya bin Ahaka Nian Our gay
In Nimbina, yakarum Jar, Dominyama, Domaghawakaman, Damon Imlan Bomber bang
Gadabomba in and now in wakah ghan On, yak rum
Jar water Nadaa. Hello, beautiful friends, we gather on the
(00:24):
lands of the Aboriginal people. We thank acknowledge and respect
the Abiginal people's land that we're gathering on today. Take
pleasure in all the land and respect all that you see.
She's on the Money podcast acknowledges culture, country, community and connections,
bringing you the tools, knowledge and resources for you to thrive.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
She's on the Money.
Speaker 3 (00:46):
She's on the Money.
Speaker 4 (01:07):
Hello, and welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast
that lets you be pervy about other people's money habits
for educational purposes of course. Welcome back to another one
of our money daries where I get the absolute pleasure
of sitting down to talk with one of our beautiful
community members all about their journey. Let's jump straight into
it because I got an email this week and it
sounded exactly like this, dear, She's on the money. The
(01:30):
same week I returned to work after maternity leave, my
husband walked out on me and my six month old
twins for another woman, and we were in fifty thousand
dollars worth of personal debt at the time. Now, three
years later, I'm investing, I'm saving, and I'm earning more
than one hundred thousand dollars a year, all with a
fabulous new man and with many thanks to She's on
(01:52):
the Money.
Speaker 5 (01:53):
We are now planning another.
Speaker 4 (01:54):
Baby and we are loving life. I want to share
my story and show other women that you who can
turn your life around when somebody else throws it into turmoil.
Money Rise, welcome to the show.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
Thank you. What a wild ride.
Speaker 5 (02:10):
That is chaos.
Speaker 2 (02:11):
Yes, it was a time of my life that I
really didn't see coming. And now I'm in a much
better position in I think every aspect. So it was
really a blessing in disguise.
Speaker 4 (02:22):
I don't know if i'd call it a blessing in disguise.
Like when I was six months postpartum, I was still chaos,
Like my hormones still hadn't balanced, Like I was not
feeling my best self. I don't know what your postpartum
journey was like, but like I was struggling with breastfeeding,
I was anxious. I was all of these things as
the first time mum. And girl, you had two babies,
(02:42):
you had two. I only had one, and I was
finding that challenging. And then your husband was like, by
the way, I've been cheating on you.
Speaker 2 (02:49):
What the hell?
Speaker 5 (02:50):
Like, girl, what the hell? I'm so sorry.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
Yeah, well, I didn't actually realize he was cheating, and
that was I think the crazy thing. I just got
a text message saying I don't love you or anymore
and don't be home for the next few hours because
I'm moving my stuff out.
Speaker 5 (03:04):
Excuse me?
Speaker 2 (03:05):
What? Yeah? So my mom was actually the one that
said I think there's another woman, and I was like,
don't be ridiculous.
Speaker 4 (03:11):
Stop stop stop, all right, all right, I have to
ask you before we get into it, because I need
all these juice money diris what grade would you give
your money?
Speaker 5 (03:18):
Habits from A three to F C?
Speaker 4 (03:20):
All right, I feel like I see very warranted, but
can we please get back into the gossip side of this.
Oh so your mom goes, girl, I think that there's
another woman, and you were like, that's crazy, absolutely not.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
I was just thinking, why would he have the time
for that. I've got twins with him. Isn't life chaos?
But maybe the extra overtime shifts that I wasn't looking
at the perceived money coming into the account weren't actually
being worked.
Speaker 5 (03:46):
Stop it, stop it. What an actual piece of.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
Sh Yeah, it was a really strange time.
Speaker 5 (03:52):
I'm not gonna lie.
Speaker 4 (03:53):
I'm so glad he exited your life, Like even though
that would have felt terrible.
Speaker 5 (03:57):
So what happens?
Speaker 4 (03:58):
So this guy didn't even have balls to sit you
down and be like, hey, money, diris, this is what's
going on?
Speaker 5 (04:03):
He text you.
Speaker 2 (04:04):
Yeah, he said he was staying at a friend's house
and she forgot that his iPhone location wasn't turned off.
So then in the end we worked out that that
was the case and that he was actually at a
woman's house that he was working with.
Speaker 5 (04:18):
No, stop it, stop it. What did you do?
Speaker 2 (04:20):
I just basically said, don't bother coming back ever again.
Like that's it. You're done. Girl.
Speaker 4 (04:25):
You seem so much nicer than me, Like I'm just
telling you right now, I think I would end up
in jail.
Speaker 2 (04:30):
I just don't think I had the mental load. That
was really a saving grace in that situation.
Speaker 4 (04:35):
And you're probably looking back and being like, why wasn't
I crazy? Like I know, but I mean, realistically, who's
laughing now, rewind?
Speaker 5 (04:43):
I want to know. So you fell pregnant with twins?
What was that like?
Speaker 4 (04:48):
Because, like, as someone who has been pregnant, oh my goodness,
when they said it's a single baby, I was like, oh,
like twins would have been magic, but like, thank god.
Speaker 2 (04:57):
Yeah, So I was off work for about ten weeks prior,
and it was during COVID times as well, so I
was being extra cautious. So I spent ten weeks sitting
at home before I had my babies, waiting for that
to happen. And then they came right at thirty seven weeks,
so I was really lucky.
Speaker 5 (05:16):
Hey, that's very good for tweens.
Speaker 2 (05:19):
Really good. Yeah, we had a very crazy birth story.
I ended up on life support in insensitive care. It
was really not what I expected at all.
Speaker 5 (05:29):
Are you okay? Now?
Speaker 2 (05:30):
Yeah? Absolutely fine? Now, totally fine now, thank goodness, But
just really not what i'd planned, you know, really wanted
a natural birth that didn't happen, and we ended up
having a cesarean, which is okay, but yeah, just like.
Speaker 4 (05:43):
A whole lot, I had the same thing. I mean,
I definitely didn't end up in life support. But it's
interesting how much pressure are we as women put on ourselves.
Because had you had a conversation about birth with me
before I was pregnant, I was like, oh, it doesn't matter,
like I was a cesarean baby, No one knows the difference.
I was a cesare very formula baby, Like like that's fine,
Like you say all the right things, right, you go,
(06:04):
fedi's best, happy mum, safe mum, safe delivery, safe baby,
all of that stuff, and then all of a sudden
you get pregnant and you just have this craving for
a natural birth and you're like, I just want to
be able to give my babies the best start to
the life.
Speaker 5 (06:17):
What's that even mean?
Speaker 2 (06:19):
Exactly? That's right, And I think there's so much pressure
put on that. And in a lot of ways, I
felt lucky because I didn't feel that pressure as much.
Being twins. I felt like I had a lot more
of a choice in that space. But I can't imagine
people that have one baby that they really don't feel
like they can advocate for themselves in that space.
Speaker 4 (06:37):
No, And like I look back on it, and you know,
when I had my baby, I was very lucky. I
got invited on Australian birth Stories and I never went
because I just wasn't ready to talk about my birth story.
I didn't want to share it. It's not because I
was embarrassed of it. It's honestly because it upset me
so much. And it was because I didn't get what
I wanted. And the more that I reflected on it,
(06:57):
and you know, spoke to people, and you know, I
had the just being surrounded by a lot of people,
within a lot of knowledge, it gets more and more upsetting.
And I'm sure you had a similar story where people
go what happened next? And you go, oh this, and
they go, oh, they shouldn't have done that, and.
Speaker 5 (07:10):
You go, what do you mean?
Speaker 2 (07:12):
What do you mean?
Speaker 4 (07:13):
Like you mean I should have said no there, or
I should have suggested something else, or I should have
asked for anyway. It became quite a reflective period of
time for me where I was like, you mean, I
could have probably prevented this in your situation very different,
but like you end up heartbroken, and I don't know
about you. I'm delusional enough to think that next time
I have a baby, I'm going to get a feedback.
(07:35):
I somehow, why, no reason, I'm just full of delusion.
So tell me about this. You're on life support? How
does that happen?
Speaker 2 (07:43):
So we ended up having an emergency cesarean, like a
very very quick one. It was like a full blown emergency.
They had to get the second twin out really really
quickly because the cord had come out so straight up
to a cesarean, which is okay, and I'm kind of
in this field anyway, so I had a little bit
of understanding about it.
Speaker 5 (08:03):
Wait, sorry, did you have a vaginal birth and a cesarean?
Speaker 2 (08:06):
No? Thank you?
Speaker 5 (08:07):
I like, did you have a cesarean for the second one,
because that.
Speaker 2 (08:11):
Was the possibility, But no, so I guess in a way,
Thank goodness, it was the top twin that the court
had come out first, so both were just delivered by
a caesar. And then yeah, during that caesar, they cut
through the archery and didn't know it at the time,
And then I went back recovery.
Speaker 5 (08:28):
That literally should have killed you.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
Yeah, that's right. So yeah, over the next few hours,
I started becoming I had, you know, lots of pain,
and they kept saying, you know, but oh, it's only
because you've had a Caesar the epidurals wearing off, and
I'm like, no, this is really different. And then they
just said basically, in the end, because I had so
much extra fluid, it was kind of compressing the archery
and that's why it wasn't just gushing out. So yeah,
(08:52):
in the end, I went back up for a second
surgery where they went back in closed up the archery,
and then woke up the next morning on life support
in intensive care. Just as they were taking the tube
out to wake me up.
Speaker 5 (09:03):
Are you okay?
Speaker 2 (09:04):
Fine? Now? Absolutely fine?
Speaker 4 (09:06):
Now mentally fine, because I feel like you would carry
a lot of trauma from that as well, like that
is not what you went in for.
Speaker 2 (09:12):
Like no, I think because I'm a nurse as well,
I look at it very pragmatically and I think in
lots of ways it helped my nursing, So I think
I deal with it that way. Yeah, okay, And it's
only now that my partner and I are starting to
think about having another child potentially that it is like, oh, Okay,
I might actually have to deal with this a little bit.
Speaker 4 (09:33):
Yeah, maybe I do need a little bit of therapy.
And I can't just keep saying I was fine exactly, that's.
Speaker 2 (09:38):
Right, that's right.
Speaker 5 (09:39):
Oh my goodness.
Speaker 4 (09:40):
All right, So talk to me a little bit more
about your money story. So we know that your husband
walked out on you and your six month old twins
for another woman, but like you were in fifty thousand
dollars worth of debt. So can we go back to
that time and you talk me through like, you know,
you felt pregnant, Did you mean to fall pregnant?
Speaker 5 (09:59):
Why were you in? What did that look like? Talk
me through that sitch?
Speaker 2 (10:03):
Yeah. So I was really young when I got married,
and I think I was just a little bit like
rose colored glasses and maybe a little bit naive. So
at the time I thought, yeah, this is what I want,
and I think I definitely did. But you know, the
twins were well, the baby was planned and end up
being twins. But you know, for kind of the years
leading up to that, it was always like this idea
(10:26):
of money being like the next shiny object, and you know,
as soon as like it was a new car and
then it was constantly just like new, you new, and
then yeah, I don't want to say like manipulated, because
I think that's too strong of a word, but maybe
not having like the money understanding really played a factor
into like my really early money decisions.
Speaker 5 (10:47):
Yeah, and that's okay, that's good reflection as well.
Speaker 2 (10:50):
Yeah, so I think definitely, as I've gotten older, it's
been much more of an understanding of where my values are.
And I think my new partner is very very much
in line with what my values are now. So that
makes money conversations just so much easier.
Speaker 5 (11:05):
I adore that.
Speaker 4 (11:06):
I feel like this is really a story and we
haven't even gotten even halfway through it, Like is a
story of like life happens for you. Even though that
that was like a really terrible thing to go through, Like,
you're clearly happy. I can see when you said my
new partner, like you have that smile where I'm like,
oh my god, they're so in love.
Speaker 5 (11:23):
I love this.
Speaker 2 (11:23):
So the crazy thing is when I met my partner,
we both were from like a major city, and then
we moved to a regional town. So I moved up,
you know, many many years ago, and he moved up
a little bit more recently, so we met up here
online and you know, just we're kind of getting to
know each other, and on about the third or fourth date,
we worked out that our moms worked together. No stop
(11:45):
happen and we're best friends for like twenty years. Oh
my goodness, that's it was big, like sixtygrees of separation.
Speaker 5 (11:52):
But I was like, wow, not even six, just one.
Speaker 2 (11:55):
Yeah, that's exactly right. It was just wild. So yeah,
it was really meant to be.
Speaker 5 (12:00):
I think, so obviously all of that happens.
Speaker 4 (12:03):
Talk to me about what happens to your finances when
your husband walks out on you, because I just feel
like I can't imagine a situation like that because you
went back at work, were you?
Speaker 2 (12:14):
I had just gone back for literally that week when
it all happened. Yep, I went on to a night.
Speaker 5 (12:20):
Shift, So we timed it perfectly, thanks sir.
Speaker 2 (12:24):
All right, exactly, And I think maybe looking back now,
it was that you know, he was going to have
to be there when I was at work, and then
how is that going to work? Because he couldn't just
say he was at work, is my hypothesis, and that's
why it probably came out when it did.
Speaker 4 (12:38):
Yeah, wow, And like, did you find out anything more
about this?
Speaker 5 (12:43):
Because I'm always so pervy?
Speaker 4 (12:44):
I'm sorry, and I know everybody else listening is going
to be like, girl, was he doing this the whole
time you were pregnant? Was it like a new romance?
Like did you ever find out any information?
Speaker 2 (12:54):
No? And I guess I don't really want to know.
They're still together?
Speaker 5 (12:58):
So they are.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
It's like, yeah, let that go and just you know,
move on.
Speaker 5 (13:03):
Do you know what they deserve each other?
Speaker 4 (13:05):
That's fine, that's fine because you and I both know
they She knew about you, and she knew that you
had twins, and that says so much more about her
than it ever could about you.
Speaker 5 (13:15):
He can keep her, that's fine, exactly.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
So I was like sure, And now I look back
and I'm like, wow, I dodged a bullet.
Speaker 4 (13:22):
May they have the days they deserve? Yes, exactly, So
tell me a bit more. I want to know what
do you do for work? How much money do you earn?
Speaker 2 (13:30):
So I work in healthcare and pretext I'm on about
one hundred and ten thousand.
Speaker 5 (13:35):
Oh very nice.
Speaker 2 (13:37):
Yeah. So I made the decision to go back full
time for mostly financial reasons. But also for my career
that if I wanted to kind of progress with my career,
it really looked like being full time in that space
that it was just kind of too difficult otherwise. So
now I've got an amazing job and I just love it.
Speaker 5 (13:57):
I adore that.
Speaker 4 (13:57):
Talk to me, So you went back when you're twins
were six months old? Was that part time or was
that full time?
Speaker 2 (14:03):
Like?
Speaker 4 (14:03):
How are you managing that? Because like a lot of
people will say that's, oh, that's so soon to go
back to work, but like low key for me personally,
I was back at work quite early because I just
adore what I do and I couldn't wait.
Speaker 2 (14:15):
Yeah, it wasn't like a decision I guess that I
could make. It was because I had to take so
much time off pre natally.
Speaker 5 (14:25):
Yeah, okay, that really.
Speaker 2 (14:26):
Cut into my maternity leave there. So I went back
like earlier than I guess I would have wanted to,
and obviously, working for government, I was already really lucky
that I had, you know, extra maternity leave on top
of what other people get already. And I went back
five days a fortnite into shift work, so that was
really difficult, and then kind of went into this role
(14:47):
that I'm in now and then progressed up in the
last like eighteen months, two years to full time.
Speaker 5 (14:52):
Oh iconic. And so tell me how old are your
twins now?
Speaker 2 (14:56):
They I'm nearly four.
Speaker 4 (14:58):
Stop it, stop it, and it it goes so quickly,
it really does.
Speaker 2 (15:02):
They've just come into a lovely new stage and they're
really different little people, and it's just amazing to watch
their growth.
Speaker 5 (15:09):
I adore that so much.
Speaker 4 (15:10):
So talk to me a bit about your big money goals,
Like you've got a great salary as what we'll call
right now a single mom, Like, because you're technically a
single mum, you'd still be i'm assuming somewhat co parenting
and doing all of that shmuzzle. And you do have
a new partner, and we'll get to talking about him
in a hot second, but like, what big money goals
have you got at the moment, I actually think.
Speaker 2 (15:30):
I'm a little bit lost there. I don't really have
huge money goals, and I think that's why I'm struggling
to save. So you know, I'm sure we'll get into
it later. I think I'm really good at dividing up
the money and putting it where it needs to go,
but in terms of actually like what is my goal, Well,
you know, like I want to go on some holidays
(15:51):
and that kind of thing, But I don't really want
to buy a house. I'm in a house that I'm renting,
like privately off my parents, which I'm really provely to
be able to do that.
Speaker 5 (16:01):
That's a different situation again.
Speaker 2 (16:03):
Yeah, yeah, And I just don't really want to buy
any kind of investment property. I'm not handy in any way,
so if something goes wrong, I just kind of see
there's a money pit. So yeah, I would say holidays,
but again, I don't really have something solid, and I
think that's the issue.
Speaker 5 (16:18):
Yeah, No, that's fair.
Speaker 4 (16:19):
And I feel like when you don't feel like you
have a sense of direction, there's a very big like
why bother kind of mindset like why would I bother
continuing to save because often saving feels a little bit
restrictive when I could just live my life and not
put that pressure on myself because I don't have anything
big that I'm currently working towards.
Speaker 2 (16:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (16:37):
Absolutely, Yeah, So tell me a little bit more.
Speaker 4 (16:40):
You mentioned before, like you know, I don't have a house,
I'm renting off my parents.
Speaker 5 (16:44):
I'm so pervy. I'm so sorry.
Speaker 4 (16:46):
I just got to know when your husband was like,
don't come home for the next few hours because I'm
a moving out. Was that in the same house that
your parents owned, so he definitely had to leave and
it wasn't just a like he could leave you high
and dry.
Speaker 5 (16:58):
What happened?
Speaker 2 (16:59):
Then? Yes, that was in the same house, So that
was really lucky in that respect, because you know, I
guess I was still stable. The twins never had to
leave a house that were familiar with either, so that
was really really lucky.
Speaker 4 (17:13):
Yeah, you would have felt a little bit more grounded
during that period of time. And then financially, what did
you do? Did you have to take on the full
amount of rent and all the bills and like or
did you have like some I don't know. It sounds
like your parents are relatively well off, Like how did
that work? I'm just being so pervy because, like, I
cannot imagine the financial burden that you would have felt
you were under at that point in time.
Speaker 2 (17:33):
Yeah, it really was maybe less than a year later,
because I met my new partner a lot quicker than
I actually anticipated i'd meet anybody. And then when we
realized the connection that we did. Actually kind of the
families knew each other. I think it moved a bit
quicker then because it was like, oh, I can trust you.
His rent was up in like pretty much a year
after we met, anyway, so he moved in.
Speaker 4 (17:55):
But for that year we had do you know, like
my now husband and I moved in within twelve months
of mating, like and a lot of people think that
that's insane, and we didn't have kids or anything involved,
but like I remember, and this is so creepy money darist.
I feel like I've said it on the show before.
We literally talked on our first date about our wedding
dance song because we were kind of like, and that's
(18:16):
the weirdest, biggest red flag in the entire world, right,
Anybody from the outside looking and would have been like,
these guys crazy.
Speaker 5 (18:22):
Sorry, it was our first right, that was just what
happened exactly.
Speaker 4 (18:27):
So I feel like when you know, you know, like
I genuinely don't think that time is an indicator of
how much you love someone.
Speaker 2 (18:35):
No. I think it was really like an aha moment
that I was like, Oh, this is what it's meant
to feel yeady. Oh I genuinely.
Speaker 5 (18:43):
It makes me so happy.
Speaker 4 (18:44):
And I know that a lot of people in your
life were probably a little bit negative and probably like, oh,
she's moving on so quickly, shut up, Judge Karen, Like,
I'm just so excited that you didn't have to revel
in that feeling for too long and you met someone
who like kind of picked up your spear and made
you happy, and like that's exactly what you deserve, right.
Speaker 2 (19:03):
Absolutely, Yeah, And he really just was amazing in that way.
Speaker 4 (19:07):
I love that, And I mean, sorry, give me a
better man. Like I don't even know this guy he's meeting,
you met online. You've got twins and he's like, yeah,
throw it at me.
Speaker 2 (19:17):
Yeah, well first date, I just laid it out on
the table and I was like, look, I've got baby twins,
and I just need you to know that because that's
okay if you don't want to go there. And he's like, oh,
that's not really an issue, Like.
Speaker 5 (19:30):
What a legend.
Speaker 4 (19:31):
You just know he's a good guy, So talk to
me about this baby goal. Because like clearly you and
mister you you like each other enough to move in together,
and you like each other enough to be talking about
having another baby. That makes three babies for you. Would
you say that's a big money goal that you two
are working together.
Speaker 2 (19:52):
Yeah, absolutely, I guess, yeah, when you put it like that,
there is things to work on. But I'm very like
black and white. I guess in the way that I'm like, well,
then what does that cost? So what am I actually saving?
And how much a week do I have to put
a way towards that? And I think that's why it
doesn't just click in my mind.
Speaker 4 (20:11):
Yeah, And it's really hard, or I found it when
I was budgeting for a baby. It's just really hard
to work out, well, what do I want? And a
lot of the baby stuff is want, not a need.
And then are we going private? Are we going public?
And I'm assuming given your history, you would probably be
categorized as a higher risk pregnancy the second time around,
especially because you had twins and then you probably I'm
(20:33):
just extrapolating this out, you probably have to be careful
when you do get pregnant because there's a higher probability
you're going to have twins again. There's just a lot
to take into consideration.
Speaker 2 (20:44):
Yeah. Absolutely, And I think that's why.
Speaker 5 (20:46):
Sorry to scare you by the way I thought of this.
Speaker 2 (20:52):
Surprised. I think it's definitely all things that are coming
to the forefront of our minds now because it's kind
of thinking, oh, my goodness, this could happen really soon.
Speaker 4 (21:01):
So when you say it really soon, is this a
goal where you're like, oh, we're going to try in
a year? Is this a goal where you're like, you
know what, if I'm pregnant right now, that would be ideal?
Speaker 2 (21:11):
Correct? Yeah, I mean, whens happen. So we'll just say
how we go?
Speaker 5 (21:15):
Yeah, okay, I love that.
Speaker 4 (21:16):
I'm so excited and I'm like sending so much baby
dust your way. Let's go to a really quick break
because girl, I have so many questions and we'll get
to them in a hot minute. All right, money dives
We up back, And this has been a rollercoaster of
a story. Like the idea that your husband walked out
on you with six month old twins, I told you
(21:39):
that I would probably end up in jail. I would
love to smack him in the face.
Speaker 2 (21:43):
Sorry, Oh, I think get in the line. There's been
quite a few people that have said that to me.
Speaker 4 (21:47):
I think you and your mom, Like, no, me and
your mom, We're going to line up together.
Speaker 5 (21:52):
Like, we've just got this.
Speaker 4 (21:53):
I just it ignites something in me because you were
already so vulnerable during that period of time, and I
just that to me, Oh, it makes me so mad.
But I want to go back before I ask you
about investments, Like he said, hey girl, I'm out, And
he also didn't have the balls to tell you that.
(22:14):
He texts you don't come home because I'm moving out.
But you had fifty thousand dollars worth of debt at
the time. What was that for? How did you guys
get into that debt and then how did you get
out of it?
Speaker 2 (22:25):
So it was primarily like new cars, so you know,
we'd buy a car and then within like a year
it was like, oh no, I don't like this car anymore.
We need to upgrade. And then there was some consolidated debt,
but it was all in the one car loan in
the end, like as a personal loan, I believe. And
then we kind of had this rolling debt that just
(22:48):
kept getting bigger and we weren't actually getting on top
of it. So that was with one car, and then
we had an old car that was costing nothing that
we owned out right, like a two thousand and two
kind of.
Speaker 4 (22:58):
Car that's still newer than my car was, and I
had to upgrade mine when I had a baby, but
like mine was from nineteen ninety seven.
Speaker 2 (23:06):
Slagh they go and when you get one of those golden.
Speaker 5 (23:09):
Nuggets, sorry, you hold onto them. You do not let
them go.
Speaker 2 (23:12):
No, that's right. And it was so nice to have
one that didn't cost any money. So we had those
two cars. And then basically when as soon as he left,
one of the things my parents said to me first
was make sure you don't take on the fancy car
like you won. You can't afford it, and two you
don't need it. And I was like, absolutely, I don't
want that. I actually feel more comfortable driving the old
(23:34):
car anyway. So that was a decision that we made,
and I got a lawyer involved really quickly, and that
was able to be drawn out really easily, to say
you have this car, you have this car, and that's it. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (23:46):
And was he agreeable during this period of time because
like he said, hey, I'm going, but there's obviously like
dead and cars and assets to work out, Like how
did you work that out and have amicable conversations with
someone that didn't even see a divorce coming.
Speaker 2 (24:01):
From To be honest, we didn't really have Anakova conversations
about it. In the end, I ended up just saying
everything through my lawyer because then I knew that I
was back and I could take any emotion out of
it and that it was just being dealt with. She
knew my interests. She was amazing. It was just done
that way.
Speaker 4 (24:19):
Yeah, iconic. I just I can't believe you had to
go through that. I'm so sorry. Talk to me about
investment though. What are your thoughts on investments? Do you invest?
What's the plan for the future?
Speaker 2 (24:31):
So thanks to you guys, I'm using rays, which stop
I ever ever thought was even a thing like I'm
a bit like, look at me, who's this girl investing?
So I'm a bit like crazy, I think with it
because I've got my roundups and then I put one
hundred dollars a week into that on top of the roundups,
and I just watch it grow and every day I
(24:53):
checked to be like, oh it went off a bit.
It's kind of a bit addictive.
Speaker 4 (24:57):
Yeah, it's like I've tried to explain it, and I
feel like this is a very poor explanation. But I
feel like people get it. It's like the same feeling
that people get when they gamble. I get when I invest.
Speaker 5 (25:08):
I'm like, oh, I've got to check my app. I've
got to check my app.
Speaker 4 (25:11):
Yeah, you feel like it's a little bit it's not
as risky though, it's like good for your future.
Speaker 5 (25:16):
But at the same time, I'm like, this is a game.
This is really fun.
Speaker 2 (25:19):
Yeah, like every day almost I look at the projections
for like the next twenty years and they don't change
that much, but I'm still like, oh, I can't wait.
Speaker 4 (25:27):
Exactly. I love that view. So you've started raised, what's
your super looking like?
Speaker 2 (25:32):
So I've got almost seventy thousand in super and then
obviously being a government worker really helps.
Speaker 5 (25:38):
And you're only twenty eight as well, aren't you. Yes,
that is so good.
Speaker 2 (25:42):
Yeah. So we talked really briefly to a financial advisor.
It was just on the background of like some family
so not a form all kind of sit down, and
he suggested, as soon as my hex is paid off,
which will hopefully be after this this financial year, at
the moment, we will be able to increase our super
new into that at our contributions. But he just suggested
(26:03):
waiting until the hex is paid off, just so it
doesn't alter anything at the moment.
Speaker 4 (26:07):
Yeah, and girl, you're so young still, like you've got
heaps of time to sort that out. Like that is
so fine.
Speaker 2 (26:13):
Yeah, So that's been really exciting, and I just need
to consolidate two accounts because when I actually looked at
this to see what my super was at, I realized, I.
Speaker 4 (26:22):
Feel like that's really intelligent to kind of wait and
just do one thing after another, especially because like, go,
I'm sorry, you are still so young, Like you've just
got so much time ahead of you to do this,
and it just makes me so excited, and like, what
a better time for your husband to leave, Like if
you're going to do it, do it now, sir, Like,
just get it done, rip the band aid off. I'm
going to find a new, better partner, and I'm going
(26:43):
to go ahead and make another baby slay.
Speaker 2 (26:46):
Yeah. We actually spoke to the lawyer about, you know,
getting a portion of his super because obviously I've just
been on maternity leave and everything. But to be honest,
in the end, it was all just kind of too
hard and I was like, I don't even want to
be tired in that way. Just let it be.
Speaker 5 (27:00):
Yeah, I don't even want your stuff. Just do you
know what? See yourself out mate?
Speaker 2 (27:04):
Oh ill, But you know what Beck said about you know,
once it's in like an investment account, it's like not
your savings, but you can't touch it. Yeah, that's one
hundred percent. So I feel like I'm kind of using
that as a savings account. Not that I really want.
Speaker 4 (27:19):
To, but no, but like it does feel like it's
like that additional degree of separation that I feel like
you need, Like you know when people are like, oh,
I always dip into my bank account, Like I find
that those people do really well with investment accounts because like,
once it's quote gone into that account, they're like, oh,
it's too much admin to get it back out, and
it's not really mine anymore, and it's kind of performing,
(27:39):
and I wouldn't want it to stop performing.
Speaker 2 (27:41):
Yeah, and I hate seeing the little dipped out on
the graph, so yeah, it'll ruin your graph, that's right.
So simple things like that, I'd like, I can't touch it.
Speaker 4 (27:48):
So I had RAIS and I still have RAIS because
I just do like little roundups here and there. And
as you guys know, I don't know if you know
this but I'm obsessed with finance. So I have rais,
I have Spaceship, have Charez's and I once sold down
my raise portfolio because it got quite high, but it's
not my main investment account, and I'm like, okay, it's
(28:09):
like kind of high. I'm going to like sell this
down and put it into my Shaza's account. I sold
it down, and I still look at the graph and
I like see the really big dip of when I
sold down.
Speaker 5 (28:20):
And now it's.
Speaker 4 (28:20):
Messed with my performance because it says, you know, you've
cashed out here, And I'm like, no, stop judging me.
I reinvested it. I promised, Like I wish there was
like a bigger app that like showed me my overarching.
Speaker 2 (28:31):
They could look at everything.
Speaker 5 (28:33):
Yeah, I'm like, no, I promise.
Speaker 2 (28:34):
I promised.
Speaker 4 (28:35):
My returns are better than that. I actually put it
into something else. Anyway, talk to me about debts. So
you got out of this debt by essentially leaving it
with your husband. He got the car, he organized all
of that. Do you have any other debts?
Speaker 2 (28:48):
Yes, so we do have a credit card that we're
paying off, but I've transferred it last year to an
interest free period one so we're paying more off that
than we need to, and we'll pay that off by
the end of next year. So that has fourteen thousand
purely from one making some not great financial decisions thinking
(29:10):
in my mind, I'm still in a full time wage
but I wasn't, but also thinking like using it for points,
but then like stupidly not factoring in like the interest
and things. So that credit card's gone and we are
using just the other one to pay it off, and
we don't even have a card for that, which has
been really helpful.
Speaker 4 (29:28):
You've got to be so careful when you like sign
up for things for points. It can be really great,
but we really need to make sure that every single
month you go in and you pay off that balance
in full, because it cannot end up really quickly.
Speaker 5 (29:39):
And I can alrest guarantee.
Speaker 4 (29:41):
When you got that credit card, you didn't want to
get in fourteen thousand dollars worth of debt.
Speaker 5 (29:45):
Did you?
Speaker 2 (29:46):
No? Not at all?
Speaker 4 (29:47):
Like it was always just like, oh, this will be
a helpful tool, and then all of a sudden you
haven't used it correctly and you're like, oh, this is
going to take us a year and a half to
get out of.
Speaker 2 (29:56):
Yeah, and I had the direct debit set up, thought,
you know, it's paying it off. But then I guess
yet looking back now, I don't know why I wasn't
looking at the time, but you know, in my mind
it was being paid off. And then when I opened
the up one day, I was like, oh my goodness,
like literally none of it was paid off. It was
all in interest.
Speaker 4 (30:13):
Yeah, it happens, honestly to the best of us. But
that's why we have to always talk about this stuff
and always like be on top of it, because I'm
glad it didn't spiral even more out of control for you.
Now I've picked up on some language that I want
to dive into. You said we, You said us. Are
you sharing finances with your new partner?
Speaker 2 (30:31):
Yes? We are.
Speaker 5 (30:32):
Now talk to me. How did that happen? What did
that look like?
Speaker 2 (30:36):
So it happened a little while after moving in, because
it ended up just becoming you know, like, oh, do
you want me to pay for groceries? Or should I
pay for the electricity bill? And then in the end
it was actually his suggestion that it was like, well,
you know, why don't I just contribute to this? But
you know, obviously I had twins that I had to
(30:57):
support as well, and he was like, I'm living here
and if I didn't want to take them on, then
I wouldn't have moved in.
Speaker 5 (31:04):
Oh my god, I love him for you.
Speaker 2 (31:06):
Yeah. So we ended up joining our finances, which just
made it so much easier because now I take full
control of it. He can see everything and access everything.
But he doesn't want to know. He doesn't really care.
It's just you deal with it because you're organized.
Speaker 5 (31:22):
Stop it this man.
Speaker 4 (31:24):
I am just so happy for you girl, like you
deserve all of this and more so on average.
Speaker 5 (31:30):
What is your new partner earning?
Speaker 2 (31:32):
Pretty much exactly the same?
Speaker 4 (31:34):
Yeah, okay, so it's like fifty to fifty. And then
I was about to say, how are you splitting costs
for your kids?
Speaker 5 (31:39):
Like what does that look like?
Speaker 4 (31:40):
Is he literally like no, sorry, like you guys are
a packaged deal, Like how is he dealing with this?
Speaker 2 (31:46):
Yeah? Exactly, yeap, So we just have everything. Yeah, fifty
to fifty and it seems to be working out. I think,
you know, I kind of say to him, maybe every
few months, you know, are you sure you want to
keep doing this? Like your paid for you know, childcare
fees and everything, and he's like, yeah, of course I do.
Why wouldn't I?
Speaker 5 (32:05):
Oh my god, this man.
Speaker 4 (32:07):
You know what, every single mum deserves one of these
guys to go rock on into their lives.
Speaker 5 (32:12):
So does your ex husband.
Speaker 4 (32:14):
In any way support your children, like financially, Like what
does that custody split look like?
Speaker 2 (32:19):
So he has them two nights a fortnight. He pays
like the government child support. Recently that dropped to zero
a month because he said that he'd lost his job.
Speaker 5 (32:31):
Yeah, sure he did, which.
Speaker 2 (32:33):
I don't think so, but anyway, and then now he
pays me one hundred and twenty dollars a month. That's
his child support, and that is it.
Speaker 4 (32:42):
So he's paying sixty dollars per child a month a
month and he probably thinks that's so much money to
give you.
Speaker 2 (32:50):
Yeah, so I've said a few times, you know, can
you contribute to daycare cost? Can you contribute to swimming lessons? Anything?
You know that it's not deemed you know, ulter and
food and water basically, and it's just that you know,
this is why I pay child support.
Speaker 4 (33:05):
Wow, that's nice for him. And he just has them
like one weekend a fortnight.
Speaker 2 (33:09):
Yeah, that's right, and that's it.
Speaker 1 (33:11):
I know.
Speaker 4 (33:11):
They usually just like consecutive days, so it's like two
days and then they're back with you.
Speaker 2 (33:15):
Yep, that's right.
Speaker 4 (33:16):
He probably always wants it on the weekend though, because
that's the most convenient for him as well, isn't it.
Speaker 2 (33:20):
Yeah. Well, he actually asked can he have them through
the week because then you know he's child support. He
wanted them pretty much every daycare day and I said, oh, okay,
you could, but does that mean you'll be paying day
care fees? And he said no, I can't afford.
Speaker 4 (33:34):
That, sorry, So I would pay for the care on
the day that you're meant to be caring for them.
Speaker 5 (33:37):
I don't think so.
Speaker 2 (33:38):
Yeah, and then your care percentage will go up that
much that I'd actually be paying you as well. So
it's just very sneaky, I.
Speaker 5 (33:45):
Don't think so.
Speaker 4 (33:46):
Do you know what, girl, It sounds like you have
dropped some serious dead weight and like you might not
have seen it at the time, but I don't know
who in the universe was looking out for you. They
were like, girl, we need to dodge a bullet. This
is going to be really painful. It's going to be
the worst period of you're in entire high life. But
I promise everything gets better from here.
Speaker 2 (34:03):
Yeah, And because it got better so quickly after as well,
I think, like my like I saw the sudden, it
was just crazy, this feeling that I was like, oh, yes,
somebody was watching out for me.
Speaker 5 (34:14):
Absolutely, Oh my goodness.
Speaker 4 (34:16):
I'm so glad. But also like, no one deserves to
go through that. So I'm like upset you had to
go through it. But at the same time, I'm like,
this guy needs to get in the bin. Talk to me, though,
what do you think your best money habit is, Because
earlier in the episode you said I'm really good at
like segmenting things and putting them in the right accounts.
Speaker 5 (34:33):
Is that your best money habit?
Speaker 2 (34:34):
I would say so. So I've got up bank, and
I've got like eight buckets in my up bank.
Speaker 5 (34:40):
Okay, jessic Ricci, I love it.
Speaker 2 (34:43):
I hear Jess talk and I'm like, oh, yeah, that's me.
Speaker 4 (34:47):
She's got like eighteen at the moment. It's actually insane.
Speaker 2 (34:51):
So I have like an emergency fund that I just put,
you know, directed it into each week, and then I've
calculated like the yearly car expenses, so all of that
money goes in and we never have to dip in.
But I only actually started that after she's on the
money because I was just like, I'm never getting back
into credit card debt, and this is how it's going
to be. So sometimes my partner will be like, why
(35:13):
do we have so much money leaving the account on
our payday? Like, can't you just stop that direct debit?
Speaker 5 (35:17):
I'm like, no, no, it's not like we don't lose
the money.
Speaker 4 (35:20):
It's actually organized and planned, and the reason it leaves
that account is.
Speaker 5 (35:25):
So that it doesn't leave the rest of our accounts.
Speaker 2 (35:28):
Yeah, and you know, like I pay extra on the
electricity bill each week as a direct debit, so then
it's like a little bit of a surprise. If we're
going away, then I've got credit of like five hundred
dollars and I just pull that and it's like, oh,
that's a nice little tree.
Speaker 4 (35:41):
Yeah, that's so smart. And I feel like, you know,
if you're putting extra, especially into your electricity bill when
you can afford it, then winter comes and that like
electricity bill that has escalated because you left the heater
on a few times longer than you should have, doesn't
sting nearly as much.
Speaker 2 (35:57):
Like no, exactly. Yeah, it just feels nice.
Speaker 4 (35:59):
To have it. It's like smart planning. I think I've
said this on the podcast before, but probably years ago.
My mum always used to tell me, like when I
was going on a holiday, she could be like, go
and buy yourself a gift card and like make it
like one hundred dollars that you can spend at like
seven to eleven when you get home on fuel, so
that you don't come home and have no money and
can't afford fuel for your car, and genius. Like it
(36:21):
just feels like a little treat. When you get home,
you're like, oh, I planned for this.
Speaker 2 (36:25):
I love that. That's amazing.
Speaker 4 (36:26):
Yeah, because like you don't want to come home and
then you're like, oh my god, I have to put
like one hundred dollars worth of fuel into my car.
Speaker 5 (36:32):
This is crazy. I got of water right back into life.
Speaker 2 (36:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (36:35):
Yeah, it just feels like a little treat.
Speaker 4 (36:37):
And because you spent it, and this is delusion again
at its peak, because you spent it before you left
on holiday, it feels like it was free money.
Speaker 2 (36:44):
Absolutely right. It wasn't really mind anyway. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (36:47):
It's like when I pack away my winter coats, if
I have like a spare ten dollars. I always like
stuff it in one of the pockets because I know,
like future me will love that.
Speaker 5 (36:55):
Yeah, so dumb.
Speaker 4 (36:57):
And do you know what, every single time I forget,
I've done it. Like I am the queen of deluding myself.
Speaker 2 (37:03):
You do it every year. But it's still amazing really too.
Speaker 4 (37:06):
I literally I pulled out a coat the other day
and I was like ten bucks.
Speaker 5 (37:09):
And my husband was like, you did that to yourself,
and I was like, let me have this.
Speaker 2 (37:16):
I think like another good money habit that I have
is like I love a haggle, so I love to
get the best price. If I could haggle with coals,
I absolutely would. So a few weeks ago, I had
a broke tip that was on the podcast from Haggling.
Speaker 5 (37:31):
Oh did you Yeah? It must have been really good.
Speaker 2 (37:33):
Yeah, So I was like, oh, I just felt like
such a win. And I will just never try and
pay full price, especially big ticket items, if I can
help it.
Speaker 5 (37:40):
Why not.
Speaker 4 (37:41):
Everything's negotiable if you don't try and negotiate it, it's
not negotiable.
Speaker 5 (37:44):
Is that That's exactly right?
Speaker 2 (37:46):
They can only say no.
Speaker 5 (37:47):
And then what you say, thanks so much? For considering it,
no worries.
Speaker 2 (37:50):
Yeah, and I'll just pay anyway because I have to
buy this so.
Speaker 5 (37:54):
I need the item.
Speaker 4 (37:55):
Yeah, it was worth a crack. So tell me, what
do you think your worst money? How it is?
Speaker 2 (38:00):
So I think the incidental spending. I know that I
need to print out in my bank statement and highlight it.
And I've read the book, I've listened to the podcast
and every time I'm like, yep, I need to do that.
But that's really I think the way the money's going.
So I'll try and be organized and you know, do
a meal plan for the whole week and then buy
(38:20):
one set of groceries. But then you know, the milks
run out midweek, so then I go and it's like,
oh maybe we should get some garlic bread, and then
before you know it, it's fifty dollars.
Speaker 5 (38:29):
How does that happen?
Speaker 2 (38:30):
Though?
Speaker 4 (38:31):
Like genuinely, I popped past the supermarket last night and
this is like this is niche mum content. I picked
my son up from daycare. It was like right on
six o'clock, which is like witching hour for us. Like
if I don't feed my son once we get back
from daycare, all hell is going to break loose, right,
But I knew I had to go to the supermarket,
so I like get him. Annoyingly, he'd fallen asleep in
(38:53):
his bloody car seat, so I'm like, oh, I'll get
the carrier out because he's going to be a pain.
So I get the carrier out. So I'm carrying this
baby around. I'm thinking in my head, this is good
because I have to go straight in, get what I
need and leave.
Speaker 5 (39:07):
Still somehow fifty dollars.
Speaker 2 (39:08):
What how does it happen?
Speaker 5 (39:10):
How does it happen? Like?
Speaker 4 (39:11):
I only got like a few basics and things that
I needed literally not even.
Speaker 5 (39:16):
For me, Like I needed soap, I needed new.
Speaker 4 (39:19):
Bread, baby yogurts because we were out of those, and
by the time I'd done baby yogurts, and also formula
because my son still has like a couple of bottles
a day.
Speaker 5 (39:28):
Bam, it's just so much.
Speaker 2 (39:31):
And you try and stuck up on the formula when
it's on sale and things, but you just still seem
to run out.
Speaker 5 (39:36):
Yeah, it goes so quickly.
Speaker 4 (39:38):
You mentioned before, like your incidental spending and how you
haven't like printed out your bank statements yet. What do
you think your number one incidental spend. Is is it
like just the supermarket top ups or is it like
something else.
Speaker 2 (39:51):
I think the supermarket's definitely a big one, but probably
Camart as well.
Speaker 4 (39:56):
What are we buying Camart? Because like, I'm really good
at Camart?
Speaker 2 (39:59):
Do you know what? And that's so funny because I
can't even tell you, like one hundred percent on what
it is. But you know, I love, you know, just
getting a little treat and then I might see a
really cute out of it for the twins, so then
I'm like, oh, I should probably get that too, But
then you've got two, so double that.
Speaker 4 (40:14):
Ahh yeah, no, that would add up so quickly. I
feel like you're relatively savvy when it comes to money,
though I know you said, look, i've got credit card
debt and we're working that out, yollow, But it sounds
like you've got your upbank, you've got all your savers,
you've got an emergency fund, you're investing, you're on raise,
you've got seventy grand in super like gol. Sorry I
(40:35):
don't know how to remind you of this, but you're
raising literal twins. You're doing so well. Like we spoke
about everything that you've been through. But then also like
you earn one hundred and ten grand plus super and
you're back at full time work. You've got these four
year old beautiful twins, and somehow you're like making all
of this work. But you think you're a c Like
(40:57):
I know that the supermarket can get away from some us,
but like someone who has an emergency fund and all
of their upsavers and looks at their bank account on
payday is not.
Speaker 5 (41:07):
A sea girlfriend.
Speaker 2 (41:09):
I think I just look at the wage that we're
on and it's like, we should just be doing so
much better than this, but.
Speaker 4 (41:15):
We're in the middle of a cost of living crisis
as well. Like I just I want to shake everybody
because I think that you know, people will be like, oh, yeah,
we're on such a good income, and please do not
take this the wrong way. If you're listening to this,
not even money direst but like one hundred and ten
thousand dollars for some people, if you earn fifty thousand dollars,
you go, oh my god, the financial freedom that that
(41:37):
would afford after tax, after you've paid your super, after
you've paid back your hex. That amount of money so
easily dissipates, especially when you have kids, especially when you
are trying to just like live your life and you're not,
you know, meal planning to a t I promise for
a lot of people in that position, money just disappears,
(41:59):
like and it's not because you're irresponsible, it's just because
things are a lot tighter than they used to be,
and that one hundred dollars grocery shop now costs you
two hundred and fifty, and like, those are the things
that we don't give ourselves enough grace for. Those are
the things that we don't go. Oh, that makes sense
as to why I can't save what I want to do,
Like that makes sense as to why I can't pay
(42:19):
this credit card off any faster. Like, but you're still
putting the hard yards on yourself. You're like, oh yeah,
I'm still sie stop hurt.
Speaker 2 (42:30):
Maybe we'll go a C plus, but I think until
I paid the credit card off, then I definitely can't
get to a B.
Speaker 5 (42:35):
All right, all right, I'll allow it.
Speaker 2 (42:37):
I'll allow it.
Speaker 4 (42:37):
Call me when you get the credit card paid off,
and we'll bump you up to a B plus and
and maybe an A money dost.
Speaker 5 (42:43):
It has been a pleasure. Thank you so much.
Speaker 4 (42:45):
For sharing your story and being so bright and bubbly
about all of it, Like this could have been like a, yeah,
this ruined my life story, but you're like, so this happened,
but like my life is a million times better, Like oh,
I just I can't wait for this episode to come
out because I have two girlfriends who are currently going
through a divorce that I cannot wait to send this
(43:06):
episode too, to be like, see it can be better.
Speaker 5 (43:08):
We've gotten rid of the dead weight.
Speaker 2 (43:10):
Oh my goodness. Absolutely, And that's exactly why I wanted
to do this, because I've never talked about my money really,
but I was like, if this will show somebody to
just do.
Speaker 5 (43:19):
It, I promise it will.
Speaker 2 (43:21):
I hope it does.
Speaker 5 (43:21):
Oh my god, I know it will. Thank you so much.
Speaker 4 (43:23):
It has been such a pleasure getting to know you,
and I just know that the community is going to
love hearing from you as much as I have.
Speaker 2 (43:30):
Thank you so much.
Speaker 4 (43:37):
Did buy shared on She's on the Money is generally
nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's on
the Money exists purely for educational purposes and should not
be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision.
If you do choose to buy a financial product, read
the PDS, TMD and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored towards
(43:57):
your needs. Victoria Divine and She's on the Money are
authorized representatives of Money sherper P T y L t
D A b N three two one six four nine
two seven seven zero eight a
Speaker 5 (44:09):
F s L four five one two eight nine
My name is Aatasha Bamblet. I'm a proud First Nations
woman and I'm here to acknowledge country t Glenn Young
Ganya Niana, kaka ya Ya bin Ahaka Nian Our gay
In Nimbina, yakarum Jar, Dominyama, Domaghawakaman, Damon Imlan Bomber bang
Gadabomba in and now in wakah ghan On, yak rum
Jar water Nadaa. Hello, beautiful friends, we gather on the
(00:24):
lands of the Aboriginal people. We thank acknowledge and respect
the Abiginal people's land that we're gathering on today. Take
pleasure in all the land and respect all that you see.
She's on the Money podcast acknowledges culture, country, community and connections,
bringing you the tools, knowledge and resources for you to thrive.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
She's on the Money.
Speaker 3 (00:46):
She's on the Money.
Speaker 4 (01:07):
Hello, and welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast
that lets you be pervy about other people's money habits
for educational purposes of course. Welcome back to another one
of our money daries where I get the absolute pleasure
of sitting down to talk with one of our beautiful
community members all about their journey. Let's jump straight into
it because I got an email this week and it
sounded exactly like this, dear, She's on the money. The
(01:30):
same week I returned to work after maternity leave, my
husband walked out on me and my six month old
twins for another woman, and we were in fifty thousand
dollars worth of personal debt at the time. Now, three
years later, I'm investing, I'm saving, and I'm earning more
than one hundred thousand dollars a year, all with a
fabulous new man and with many thanks to She's on
(01:52):
the Money.
Speaker 5 (01:53):
We are now planning another.
Speaker 4 (01:54):
Baby and we are loving life. I want to share
my story and show other women that you who can
turn your life around when somebody else throws it into turmoil.
Money Rise, welcome to the show.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
Thank you. What a wild ride.
Speaker 5 (02:10):
That is chaos.
Speaker 2 (02:11):
Yes, it was a time of my life that I
really didn't see coming. And now I'm in a much
better position in I think every aspect. So it was
really a blessing in disguise.
Speaker 4 (02:22):
I don't know if i'd call it a blessing in disguise.
Like when I was six months postpartum, I was still chaos,
Like my hormones still hadn't balanced, Like I was not
feeling my best self. I don't know what your postpartum
journey was like, but like I was struggling with breastfeeding,
I was anxious. I was all of these things as
the first time mum. And girl, you had two babies,
(02:42):
you had two. I only had one, and I was
finding that challenging. And then your husband was like, by
the way, I've been cheating on you.
Speaker 2 (02:49):
What the hell?
Speaker 5 (02:50):
Like, girl, what the hell? I'm so sorry.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
Yeah, well, I didn't actually realize he was cheating, and
that was I think the crazy thing. I just got
a text message saying I don't love you or anymore
and don't be home for the next few hours because
I'm moving my stuff out.
Speaker 5 (03:04):
Excuse me?
Speaker 2 (03:05):
What? Yeah? So my mom was actually the one that
said I think there's another woman, and I was like,
don't be ridiculous.
Speaker 4 (03:11):
Stop stop stop, all right, all right, I have to
ask you before we get into it, because I need
all these juice money diris what grade would you give
your money?
Speaker 5 (03:18):
Habits from A three to F C?
Speaker 4 (03:20):
All right, I feel like I see very warranted, but
can we please get back into the gossip side of this.
Oh so your mom goes, girl, I think that there's
another woman, and you were like, that's crazy, absolutely not.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
I was just thinking, why would he have the time
for that. I've got twins with him. Isn't life chaos?
But maybe the extra overtime shifts that I wasn't looking
at the perceived money coming into the account weren't actually
being worked.
Speaker 5 (03:46):
Stop it, stop it. What an actual piece of.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
Sh Yeah, it was a really strange time.
Speaker 5 (03:52):
I'm not gonna lie.
Speaker 4 (03:53):
I'm so glad he exited your life, Like even though
that would have felt terrible.
Speaker 5 (03:57):
So what happens?
Speaker 4 (03:58):
So this guy didn't even have balls to sit you
down and be like, hey, money, diris, this is what's
going on?
Speaker 5 (04:03):
He text you.
Speaker 2 (04:04):
Yeah, he said he was staying at a friend's house
and she forgot that his iPhone location wasn't turned off.
So then in the end we worked out that that
was the case and that he was actually at a
woman's house that he was working with.
Speaker 5 (04:18):
No, stop it, stop it. What did you do?
Speaker 2 (04:20):
I just basically said, don't bother coming back ever again.
Like that's it. You're done. Girl.
Speaker 4 (04:25):
You seem so much nicer than me, Like I'm just
telling you right now, I think I would end up
in jail.
Speaker 2 (04:30):
I just don't think I had the mental load. That
was really a saving grace in that situation.
Speaker 4 (04:35):
And you're probably looking back and being like, why wasn't
I crazy? Like I know, but I mean, realistically, who's
laughing now, rewind?
Speaker 5 (04:43):
I want to know. So you fell pregnant with twins?
What was that like?
Speaker 4 (04:48):
Because, like, as someone who has been pregnant, oh my goodness,
when they said it's a single baby, I was like, oh,
like twins would have been magic, but like, thank god.
Speaker 2 (04:57):
Yeah, So I was off work for about ten weeks prior,
and it was during COVID times as well, so I
was being extra cautious. So I spent ten weeks sitting
at home before I had my babies, waiting for that
to happen. And then they came right at thirty seven weeks,
so I was really lucky.
Speaker 5 (05:16):
Hey, that's very good for tweens.
Speaker 2 (05:19):
Really good. Yeah, we had a very crazy birth story.
I ended up on life support in insensitive care. It
was really not what I expected at all.
Speaker 5 (05:29):
Are you okay? Now?
Speaker 2 (05:30):
Yeah? Absolutely fine? Now, totally fine now, thank goodness, But
just really not what i'd planned, you know, really wanted
a natural birth that didn't happen, and we ended up
having a cesarean, which is okay, but yeah, just like.
Speaker 4 (05:43):
A whole lot, I had the same thing. I mean,
I definitely didn't end up in life support. But it's
interesting how much pressure are we as women put on ourselves.
Because had you had a conversation about birth with me
before I was pregnant, I was like, oh, it doesn't matter,
like I was a cesarean baby, No one knows the difference.
I was a cesare very formula baby, Like like that's fine,
Like you say all the right things, right, you go,
(06:04):
fedi's best, happy mum, safe mum, safe delivery, safe baby,
all of that stuff, and then all of a sudden
you get pregnant and you just have this craving for
a natural birth and you're like, I just want to
be able to give my babies the best start to
the life.
Speaker 5 (06:17):
What's that even mean?
Speaker 2 (06:19):
Exactly? That's right, And I think there's so much pressure
put on that. And in a lot of ways, I
felt lucky because I didn't feel that pressure as much.
Being twins. I felt like I had a lot more
of a choice in that space. But I can't imagine
people that have one baby that they really don't feel
like they can advocate for themselves in that space.
Speaker 4 (06:37):
No, And like I look back on it, and you know,
when I had my baby, I was very lucky. I
got invited on Australian birth Stories and I never went
because I just wasn't ready to talk about my birth story.
I didn't want to share it. It's not because I
was embarrassed of it. It's honestly because it upset me
so much. And it was because I didn't get what
I wanted. And the more that I reflected on it,
(06:57):
and you know, spoke to people, and you know, I
had the just being surrounded by a lot of people,
within a lot of knowledge, it gets more and more upsetting.
And I'm sure you had a similar story where people
go what happened next? And you go, oh this, and
they go, oh, they shouldn't have done that, and.
Speaker 5 (07:10):
You go, what do you mean?
Speaker 2 (07:12):
What do you mean?
Speaker 4 (07:13):
Like you mean I should have said no there, or
I should have suggested something else, or I should have
asked for anyway. It became quite a reflective period of
time for me where I was like, you mean, I
could have probably prevented this in your situation very different,
but like you end up heartbroken, and I don't know
about you. I'm delusional enough to think that next time
I have a baby, I'm going to get a feedback.
(07:35):
I somehow, why, no reason, I'm just full of delusion.
So tell me about this. You're on life support? How
does that happen?
Speaker 2 (07:43):
So we ended up having an emergency cesarean, like a
very very quick one. It was like a full blown emergency.
They had to get the second twin out really really
quickly because the cord had come out so straight up
to a cesarean, which is okay, and I'm kind of
in this field anyway, so I had a little bit
of understanding about it.
Speaker 5 (08:03):
Wait, sorry, did you have a vaginal birth and a cesarean?
Speaker 2 (08:06):
No? Thank you?
Speaker 5 (08:07):
I like, did you have a cesarean for the second one,
because that.
Speaker 2 (08:11):
Was the possibility, But no, so I guess in a way,
Thank goodness, it was the top twin that the court
had come out first, so both were just delivered by
a caesar. And then yeah, during that caesar, they cut
through the archery and didn't know it at the time,
And then I went back recovery.
Speaker 5 (08:28):
That literally should have killed you.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
Yeah, that's right. So yeah, over the next few hours,
I started becoming I had, you know, lots of pain,
and they kept saying, you know, but oh, it's only
because you've had a Caesar the epidurals wearing off, and
I'm like, no, this is really different. And then they
just said basically, in the end, because I had so
much extra fluid, it was kind of compressing the archery
and that's why it wasn't just gushing out. So yeah,
(08:52):
in the end, I went back up for a second
surgery where they went back in closed up the archery,
and then woke up the next morning on life support
in intensive care. Just as they were taking the tube
out to wake me up.
Speaker 5 (09:03):
Are you okay?
Speaker 2 (09:04):
Fine? Now? Absolutely fine?
Speaker 4 (09:06):
Now mentally fine, because I feel like you would carry
a lot of trauma from that as well, like that
is not what you went in for.
Speaker 2 (09:12):
Like no, I think because I'm a nurse as well,
I look at it very pragmatically and I think in
lots of ways it helped my nursing, So I think
I deal with it that way. Yeah, okay, And it's
only now that my partner and I are starting to
think about having another child potentially that it is like, oh, Okay,
I might actually have to deal with this a little bit.
Speaker 4 (09:33):
Yeah, maybe I do need a little bit of therapy.
And I can't just keep saying I was fine exactly, that's.
Speaker 2 (09:38):
Right, that's right.
Speaker 5 (09:39):
Oh my goodness.
Speaker 4 (09:40):
All right, So talk to me a little bit more
about your money story. So we know that your husband
walked out on you and your six month old twins
for another woman, but like you were in fifty thousand
dollars worth of debt. So can we go back to
that time and you talk me through like, you know,
you felt pregnant, Did you mean to fall pregnant?
Speaker 5 (09:59):
Why were you in? What did that look like? Talk
me through that sitch?
Speaker 2 (10:03):
Yeah. So I was really young when I got married,
and I think I was just a little bit like
rose colored glasses and maybe a little bit naive. So
at the time I thought, yeah, this is what I want,
and I think I definitely did. But you know, the
twins were well, the baby was planned and end up
being twins. But you know, for kind of the years
leading up to that, it was always like this idea
(10:26):
of money being like the next shiny object, and you know,
as soon as like it was a new car and
then it was constantly just like new, you new, and
then yeah, I don't want to say like manipulated, because
I think that's too strong of a word, but maybe
not having like the money understanding really played a factor
into like my really early money decisions.
Speaker 5 (10:47):
Yeah, and that's okay, that's good reflection as well.
Speaker 2 (10:50):
Yeah, so I think definitely, as I've gotten older, it's
been much more of an understanding of where my values are.
And I think my new partner is very very much
in line with what my values are now. So that
makes money conversations just so much easier.
Speaker 5 (11:05):
I adore that.
Speaker 4 (11:06):
I feel like this is really a story and we
haven't even gotten even halfway through it, Like is a
story of like life happens for you. Even though that
that was like a really terrible thing to go through, Like,
you're clearly happy. I can see when you said my
new partner, like you have that smile where I'm like,
oh my god, they're so in love.
Speaker 5 (11:23):
I love this.
Speaker 2 (11:23):
So the crazy thing is when I met my partner,
we both were from like a major city, and then
we moved to a regional town. So I moved up,
you know, many many years ago, and he moved up
a little bit more recently, so we met up here
online and you know, just we're kind of getting to
know each other, and on about the third or fourth date,
we worked out that our moms worked together. No stop
(11:45):
happen and we're best friends for like twenty years. Oh
my goodness, that's it was big, like sixtygrees of separation.
Speaker 5 (11:52):
But I was like, wow, not even six, just one.
Speaker 2 (11:55):
Yeah, that's exactly right. It was just wild. So yeah,
it was really meant to be.
Speaker 5 (12:00):
I think, so obviously all of that happens.
Speaker 4 (12:03):
Talk to me about what happens to your finances when
your husband walks out on you, because I just feel
like I can't imagine a situation like that because you
went back at work, were you?
Speaker 2 (12:14):
I had just gone back for literally that week when
it all happened. Yep, I went on to a night.
Speaker 5 (12:20):
Shift, So we timed it perfectly, thanks sir.
Speaker 2 (12:24):
All right, exactly, And I think maybe looking back now,
it was that you know, he was going to have
to be there when I was at work, and then
how is that going to work? Because he couldn't just
say he was at work, is my hypothesis, and that's
why it probably came out when it did.
Speaker 4 (12:38):
Yeah, wow, And like, did you find out anything more
about this?
Speaker 5 (12:43):
Because I'm always so pervy?
Speaker 4 (12:44):
I'm sorry, and I know everybody else listening is going
to be like, girl, was he doing this the whole
time you were pregnant? Was it like a new romance?
Like did you ever find out any information?
Speaker 2 (12:54):
No? And I guess I don't really want to know.
They're still together?
Speaker 5 (12:58):
So they are.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
It's like, yeah, let that go and just you know,
move on.
Speaker 5 (13:03):
Do you know what they deserve each other?
Speaker 4 (13:05):
That's fine, that's fine because you and I both know
they She knew about you, and she knew that you
had twins, and that says so much more about her
than it ever could about you.
Speaker 5 (13:15):
He can keep her, that's fine, exactly.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
So I was like sure, And now I look back
and I'm like, wow, I dodged a bullet.
Speaker 4 (13:22):
May they have the days they deserve? Yes, exactly, So
tell me a bit more. I want to know what
do you do for work? How much money do you earn?
Speaker 2 (13:30):
So I work in healthcare and pretext I'm on about
one hundred and ten thousand.
Speaker 5 (13:35):
Oh very nice.
Speaker 2 (13:37):
Yeah. So I made the decision to go back full
time for mostly financial reasons. But also for my career
that if I wanted to kind of progress with my career,
it really looked like being full time in that space
that it was just kind of too difficult otherwise. So
now I've got an amazing job and I just love it.
Speaker 5 (13:57):
I adore that.
Speaker 4 (13:57):
Talk to me, So you went back when you're twins
were six months old? Was that part time or was
that full time?
Speaker 2 (14:03):
Like?
Speaker 4 (14:03):
How are you managing that? Because like a lot of
people will say that's, oh, that's so soon to go
back to work, but like low key for me personally,
I was back at work quite early because I just
adore what I do and I couldn't wait.
Speaker 2 (14:15):
Yeah, it wasn't like a decision I guess that I
could make. It was because I had to take so
much time off pre natally.
Speaker 5 (14:25):
Yeah, okay, that really.
Speaker 2 (14:26):
Cut into my maternity leave there. So I went back
like earlier than I guess I would have wanted to,
and obviously, working for government, I was already really lucky
that I had, you know, extra maternity leave on top
of what other people get already. And I went back
five days a fortnite into shift work, so that was
really difficult, and then kind of went into this role
(14:47):
that I'm in now and then progressed up in the
last like eighteen months, two years to full time.
Speaker 5 (14:52):
Oh iconic. And so tell me how old are your
twins now?
Speaker 2 (14:56):
They I'm nearly four.
Speaker 4 (14:58):
Stop it, stop it, and it it goes so quickly,
it really does.
Speaker 2 (15:02):
They've just come into a lovely new stage and they're
really different little people, and it's just amazing to watch
their growth.
Speaker 5 (15:09):
I adore that so much.
Speaker 4 (15:10):
So talk to me a bit about your big money goals,
Like you've got a great salary as what we'll call
right now a single mom, Like, because you're technically a
single mum, you'd still be i'm assuming somewhat co parenting
and doing all of that shmuzzle. And you do have
a new partner, and we'll get to talking about him
in a hot second, but like, what big money goals
have you got at the moment, I actually think.
Speaker 2 (15:30):
I'm a little bit lost there. I don't really have
huge money goals, and I think that's why I'm struggling
to save. So you know, I'm sure we'll get into
it later. I think I'm really good at dividing up
the money and putting it where it needs to go,
but in terms of actually like what is my goal, Well,
you know, like I want to go on some holidays
(15:51):
and that kind of thing, But I don't really want
to buy a house. I'm in a house that I'm renting,
like privately off my parents, which I'm really provely to
be able to do that.
Speaker 5 (16:01):
That's a different situation again.
Speaker 2 (16:03):
Yeah, yeah, And I just don't really want to buy
any kind of investment property. I'm not handy in any way,
so if something goes wrong, I just kind of see
there's a money pit. So yeah, I would say holidays,
but again, I don't really have something solid, and I
think that's the issue.
Speaker 5 (16:18):
Yeah, No, that's fair.
Speaker 4 (16:19):
And I feel like when you don't feel like you
have a sense of direction, there's a very big like
why bother kind of mindset like why would I bother
continuing to save because often saving feels a little bit
restrictive when I could just live my life and not
put that pressure on myself because I don't have anything
big that I'm currently working towards.
Speaker 2 (16:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (16:37):
Absolutely, Yeah, So tell me a little bit more.
Speaker 4 (16:40):
You mentioned before, like you know, I don't have a house,
I'm renting off my parents.
Speaker 5 (16:44):
I'm so pervy. I'm so sorry.
Speaker 4 (16:46):
I just got to know when your husband was like,
don't come home for the next few hours because I'm
a moving out. Was that in the same house that
your parents owned, so he definitely had to leave and
it wasn't just a like he could leave you high
and dry.
Speaker 5 (16:58):
What happened?
Speaker 2 (16:59):
Then? Yes, that was in the same house, So that
was really lucky in that respect, because you know, I
guess I was still stable. The twins never had to
leave a house that were familiar with either, so that
was really really lucky.
Speaker 4 (17:13):
Yeah, you would have felt a little bit more grounded
during that period of time. And then financially, what did
you do? Did you have to take on the full
amount of rent and all the bills and like or
did you have like some I don't know. It sounds
like your parents are relatively well off, Like how did
that work? I'm just being so pervy because, like, I
cannot imagine the financial burden that you would have felt
you were under at that point in time.
Speaker 2 (17:33):
Yeah, it really was maybe less than a year later,
because I met my new partner a lot quicker than
I actually anticipated i'd meet anybody. And then when we
realized the connection that we did. Actually kind of the
families knew each other. I think it moved a bit
quicker then because it was like, oh, I can trust you.
His rent was up in like pretty much a year
after we met, anyway, so he moved in.
Speaker 4 (17:55):
But for that year we had do you know, like
my now husband and I moved in within twelve months
of mating, like and a lot of people think that
that's insane, and we didn't have kids or anything involved,
but like I remember, and this is so creepy money darist.
I feel like I've said it on the show before.
We literally talked on our first date about our wedding
dance song because we were kind of like, and that's
(18:16):
the weirdest, biggest red flag in the entire world, right,
Anybody from the outside looking and would have been like,
these guys crazy.
Speaker 5 (18:22):
Sorry, it was our first right, that was just what
happened exactly.
Speaker 4 (18:27):
So I feel like when you know, you know, like
I genuinely don't think that time is an indicator of
how much you love someone.
Speaker 2 (18:35):
No. I think it was really like an aha moment
that I was like, Oh, this is what it's meant
to feel yeady. Oh I genuinely.
Speaker 5 (18:43):
It makes me so happy.
Speaker 4 (18:44):
And I know that a lot of people in your
life were probably a little bit negative and probably like, oh,
she's moving on so quickly, shut up, Judge Karen, Like,
I'm just so excited that you didn't have to revel
in that feeling for too long and you met someone
who like kind of picked up your spear and made
you happy, and like that's exactly what you deserve, right.
Speaker 2 (19:03):
Absolutely, Yeah, And he really just was amazing in that way.
Speaker 4 (19:07):
I love that, And I mean, sorry, give me a
better man. Like I don't even know this guy he's meeting,
you met online. You've got twins and he's like, yeah,
throw it at me.
Speaker 2 (19:17):
Yeah, well first date, I just laid it out on
the table and I was like, look, I've got baby twins,
and I just need you to know that because that's
okay if you don't want to go there. And he's like, oh,
that's not really an issue, Like.
Speaker 5 (19:30):
What a legend.
Speaker 4 (19:31):
You just know he's a good guy, So talk to
me about this baby goal. Because like clearly you and
mister you you like each other enough to move in together,
and you like each other enough to be talking about
having another baby. That makes three babies for you. Would
you say that's a big money goal that you two
are working together.
Speaker 2 (19:52):
Yeah, absolutely, I guess, yeah, when you put it like that,
there is things to work on. But I'm very like
black and white. I guess in the way that I'm like, well,
then what does that cost? So what am I actually saving?
And how much a week do I have to put
a way towards that? And I think that's why it
doesn't just click in my mind.
Speaker 4 (20:11):
Yeah, And it's really hard, or I found it when
I was budgeting for a baby. It's just really hard
to work out, well, what do I want? And a
lot of the baby stuff is want, not a need.
And then are we going private? Are we going public?
And I'm assuming given your history, you would probably be
categorized as a higher risk pregnancy the second time around,
especially because you had twins and then you probably I'm
(20:33):
just extrapolating this out, you probably have to be careful
when you do get pregnant because there's a higher probability
you're going to have twins again. There's just a lot
to take into consideration.
Speaker 2 (20:44):
Yeah. Absolutely, And I think that's why.
Speaker 5 (20:46):
Sorry to scare you by the way I thought of this.
Speaker 2 (20:52):
Surprised. I think it's definitely all things that are coming
to the forefront of our minds now because it's kind
of thinking, oh, my goodness, this could happen really soon.
Speaker 4 (21:01):
So when you say it really soon, is this a
goal where you're like, oh, we're going to try in
a year? Is this a goal where you're like, you
know what, if I'm pregnant right now, that would be ideal?
Speaker 2 (21:11):
Correct? Yeah, I mean, whens happen. So we'll just say
how we go?
Speaker 5 (21:15):
Yeah, okay, I love that.
Speaker 4 (21:16):
I'm so excited and I'm like sending so much baby
dust your way. Let's go to a really quick break
because girl, I have so many questions and we'll get
to them in a hot minute. All right, money dives
We up back, And this has been a rollercoaster of
a story. Like the idea that your husband walked out
on you with six month old twins, I told you
(21:39):
that I would probably end up in jail. I would
love to smack him in the face.
Speaker 2 (21:43):
Sorry, Oh, I think get in the line. There's been
quite a few people that have said that to me.
Speaker 4 (21:47):
I think you and your mom, Like, no, me and
your mom, We're going to line up together.
Speaker 5 (21:52):
Like, we've just got this.
Speaker 4 (21:53):
I just it ignites something in me because you were
already so vulnerable during that period of time, and I
just that to me, Oh, it makes me so mad.
But I want to go back before I ask you
about investments, Like he said, hey girl, I'm out, And
he also didn't have the balls to tell you that.
(22:14):
He texts you don't come home because I'm moving out.
But you had fifty thousand dollars worth of debt at
the time. What was that for? How did you guys
get into that debt and then how did you get
out of it?
Speaker 2 (22:25):
So it was primarily like new cars, so you know,
we'd buy a car and then within like a year
it was like, oh no, I don't like this car anymore.
We need to upgrade. And then there was some consolidated debt,
but it was all in the one car loan in
the end, like as a personal loan, I believe. And
then we kind of had this rolling debt that just
(22:48):
kept getting bigger and we weren't actually getting on top
of it. So that was with one car, and then
we had an old car that was costing nothing that
we owned out right, like a two thousand and two
kind of.
Speaker 4 (22:58):
Car that's still newer than my car was, and I
had to upgrade mine when I had a baby, but
like mine was from nineteen ninety seven.
Speaker 2 (23:06):
Slagh they go and when you get one of those golden.
Speaker 5 (23:09):
Nuggets, sorry, you hold onto them. You do not let
them go.
Speaker 2 (23:12):
No, that's right. And it was so nice to have
one that didn't cost any money. So we had those
two cars. And then basically when as soon as he left,
one of the things my parents said to me first
was make sure you don't take on the fancy car
like you won. You can't afford it, and two you
don't need it. And I was like, absolutely, I don't
want that. I actually feel more comfortable driving the old
(23:34):
car anyway. So that was a decision that we made,
and I got a lawyer involved really quickly, and that
was able to be drawn out really easily, to say
you have this car, you have this car, and that's it. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (23:46):
And was he agreeable during this period of time because
like he said, hey, I'm going, but there's obviously like
dead and cars and assets to work out, Like how
did you work that out and have amicable conversations with
someone that didn't even see a divorce coming.
Speaker 2 (24:01):
From To be honest, we didn't really have Anakova conversations
about it. In the end, I ended up just saying
everything through my lawyer because then I knew that I
was back and I could take any emotion out of
it and that it was just being dealt with. She
knew my interests. She was amazing. It was just done
that way.
Speaker 4 (24:19):
Yeah, iconic. I just I can't believe you had to
go through that. I'm so sorry. Talk to me about
investment though. What are your thoughts on investments? Do you invest?
What's the plan for the future?
Speaker 2 (24:31):
So thanks to you guys, I'm using rays, which stop
I ever ever thought was even a thing like I'm
a bit like, look at me, who's this girl investing?
So I'm a bit like crazy, I think with it
because I've got my roundups and then I put one
hundred dollars a week into that on top of the roundups,
and I just watch it grow and every day I
(24:53):
checked to be like, oh it went off a bit.
It's kind of a bit addictive.
Speaker 4 (24:57):
Yeah, it's like I've tried to explain it, and I
feel like this is a very poor explanation. But I
feel like people get it. It's like the same feeling
that people get when they gamble. I get when I invest.
Speaker 5 (25:08):
I'm like, oh, I've got to check my app. I've
got to check my app.
Speaker 4 (25:11):
Yeah, you feel like it's a little bit it's not
as risky though, it's like good for your future.
Speaker 5 (25:16):
But at the same time, I'm like, this is a game.
This is really fun.
Speaker 2 (25:19):
Yeah, like every day almost I look at the projections
for like the next twenty years and they don't change
that much, but I'm still like, oh, I can't wait.
Speaker 4 (25:27):
Exactly. I love that view. So you've started raised, what's
your super looking like?
Speaker 2 (25:32):
So I've got almost seventy thousand in super and then
obviously being a government worker really helps.
Speaker 5 (25:38):
And you're only twenty eight as well, aren't you. Yes,
that is so good.
Speaker 2 (25:42):
Yeah. So we talked really briefly to a financial advisor.
It was just on the background of like some family
so not a form all kind of sit down, and
he suggested, as soon as my hex is paid off,
which will hopefully be after this this financial year, at
the moment, we will be able to increase our super
new into that at our contributions. But he just suggested
(26:03):
waiting until the hex is paid off, just so it
doesn't alter anything at the moment.
Speaker 4 (26:07):
Yeah, and girl, you're so young still, like you've got
heaps of time to sort that out. Like that is
so fine.
Speaker 2 (26:13):
Yeah, So that's been really exciting, and I just need
to consolidate two accounts because when I actually looked at
this to see what my super was at, I realized, I.
Speaker 4 (26:22):
Feel like that's really intelligent to kind of wait and
just do one thing after another, especially because like, go,
I'm sorry, you are still so young, Like you've just
got so much time ahead of you to do this,
and it just makes me so excited, and like, what
a better time for your husband to leave, Like if
you're going to do it, do it now, sir, Like,
just get it done, rip the band aid off. I'm
going to find a new, better partner, and I'm going
(26:43):
to go ahead and make another baby slay.
Speaker 2 (26:46):
Yeah. We actually spoke to the lawyer about, you know,
getting a portion of his super because obviously I've just
been on maternity leave and everything. But to be honest,
in the end, it was all just kind of too
hard and I was like, I don't even want to
be tired in that way. Just let it be.
Speaker 5 (27:00):
Yeah, I don't even want your stuff. Just do you
know what? See yourself out mate?
Speaker 2 (27:04):
Oh ill, But you know what Beck said about you know,
once it's in like an investment account, it's like not
your savings, but you can't touch it. Yeah, that's one
hundred percent. So I feel like I'm kind of using
that as a savings account. Not that I really want.
Speaker 4 (27:19):
To, but no, but like it does feel like it's
like that additional degree of separation that I feel like
you need, Like you know when people are like, oh,
I always dip into my bank account, Like I find
that those people do really well with investment accounts because like,
once it's quote gone into that account, they're like, oh,
it's too much admin to get it back out, and
it's not really mine anymore, and it's kind of performing,
(27:39):
and I wouldn't want it to stop performing.
Speaker 2 (27:41):
Yeah, and I hate seeing the little dipped out on
the graph, so yeah, it'll ruin your graph, that's right.
So simple things like that, I'd like, I can't touch it.
Speaker 4 (27:48):
So I had RAIS and I still have RAIS because
I just do like little roundups here and there. And
as you guys know, I don't know if you know
this but I'm obsessed with finance. So I have rais,
I have Spaceship, have Charez's and I once sold down
my raise portfolio because it got quite high, but it's
not my main investment account, and I'm like, okay, it's
(28:09):
like kind of high. I'm going to like sell this
down and put it into my Shaza's account. I sold
it down, and I still look at the graph and
I like see the really big dip of when I
sold down.
Speaker 5 (28:20):
And now it's.
Speaker 4 (28:20):
Messed with my performance because it says, you know, you've
cashed out here, And I'm like, no, stop judging me.
I reinvested it. I promised, Like I wish there was
like a bigger app that like showed me my overarching.
Speaker 2 (28:31):
They could look at everything.
Speaker 5 (28:33):
Yeah, I'm like, no, I promise.
Speaker 2 (28:34):
I promised.
Speaker 4 (28:35):
My returns are better than that. I actually put it
into something else. Anyway, talk to me about debts. So
you got out of this debt by essentially leaving it
with your husband. He got the car, he organized all
of that. Do you have any other debts?
Speaker 2 (28:48):
Yes, so we do have a credit card that we're
paying off, but I've transferred it last year to an
interest free period one so we're paying more off that
than we need to, and we'll pay that off by
the end of next year. So that has fourteen thousand
purely from one making some not great financial decisions thinking
(29:10):
in my mind, I'm still in a full time wage
but I wasn't, but also thinking like using it for points,
but then like stupidly not factoring in like the interest
and things. So that credit card's gone and we are
using just the other one to pay it off, and
we don't even have a card for that, which has
been really helpful.
Speaker 4 (29:28):
You've got to be so careful when you like sign
up for things for points. It can be really great,
but we really need to make sure that every single
month you go in and you pay off that balance
in full, because it cannot end up really quickly.
Speaker 5 (29:39):
And I can alrest guarantee.
Speaker 4 (29:41):
When you got that credit card, you didn't want to
get in fourteen thousand dollars worth of debt.
Speaker 5 (29:45):
Did you?
Speaker 2 (29:46):
No? Not at all?
Speaker 4 (29:47):
Like it was always just like, oh, this will be
a helpful tool, and then all of a sudden you
haven't used it correctly and you're like, oh, this is
going to take us a year and a half to
get out of.
Speaker 2 (29:56):
Yeah, and I had the direct debit set up, thought,
you know, it's paying it off. But then I guess
yet looking back now, I don't know why I wasn't
looking at the time, but you know, in my mind
it was being paid off. And then when I opened
the up one day, I was like, oh my goodness,
like literally none of it was paid off. It was
all in interest.
Speaker 4 (30:13):
Yeah, it happens, honestly to the best of us. But
that's why we have to always talk about this stuff
and always like be on top of it, because I'm
glad it didn't spiral even more out of control for you.
Now I've picked up on some language that I want
to dive into. You said we, You said us. Are
you sharing finances with your new partner?
Speaker 2 (30:31):
Yes? We are.
Speaker 5 (30:32):
Now talk to me. How did that happen? What did
that look like?
Speaker 2 (30:36):
So it happened a little while after moving in, because
it ended up just becoming you know, like, oh, do
you want me to pay for groceries? Or should I
pay for the electricity bill? And then in the end
it was actually his suggestion that it was like, well,
you know, why don't I just contribute to this? But
you know, obviously I had twins that I had to
(30:57):
support as well, and he was like, I'm living here
and if I didn't want to take them on, then
I wouldn't have moved in.
Speaker 5 (31:04):
Oh my god, I love him for you.
Speaker 2 (31:06):
Yeah. So we ended up joining our finances, which just
made it so much easier because now I take full
control of it. He can see everything and access everything.
But he doesn't want to know. He doesn't really care.
It's just you deal with it because you're organized.
Speaker 5 (31:22):
Stop it this man.
Speaker 4 (31:24):
I am just so happy for you girl, like you
deserve all of this and more so on average.
Speaker 5 (31:30):
What is your new partner earning?
Speaker 2 (31:32):
Pretty much exactly the same?
Speaker 4 (31:34):
Yeah, okay, so it's like fifty to fifty. And then
I was about to say, how are you splitting costs
for your kids?
Speaker 5 (31:39):
Like what does that look like?
Speaker 4 (31:40):
Is he literally like no, sorry, like you guys are
a packaged deal, Like how is he dealing with this?
Speaker 2 (31:46):
Yeah? Exactly, yeap, So we just have everything. Yeah, fifty
to fifty and it seems to be working out. I think,
you know, I kind of say to him, maybe every
few months, you know, are you sure you want to
keep doing this? Like your paid for you know, childcare
fees and everything, and he's like, yeah, of course I do.
Why wouldn't I?
Speaker 5 (32:05):
Oh my god, this man.
Speaker 4 (32:07):
You know what, every single mum deserves one of these
guys to go rock on into their lives.
Speaker 5 (32:12):
So does your ex husband.
Speaker 4 (32:14):
In any way support your children, like financially, Like what
does that custody split look like?
Speaker 2 (32:19):
So he has them two nights a fortnight. He pays
like the government child support. Recently that dropped to zero
a month because he said that he'd lost his job.
Speaker 5 (32:31):
Yeah, sure he did, which.
Speaker 2 (32:33):
I don't think so, but anyway, and then now he
pays me one hundred and twenty dollars a month. That's
his child support, and that is it.
Speaker 4 (32:42):
So he's paying sixty dollars per child a month a
month and he probably thinks that's so much money to
give you.
Speaker 2 (32:50):
Yeah, so I've said a few times, you know, can
you contribute to daycare cost? Can you contribute to swimming lessons? Anything?
You know that it's not deemed you know, ulter and
food and water basically, and it's just that you know,
this is why I pay child support.
Speaker 4 (33:05):
Wow, that's nice for him. And he just has them
like one weekend a fortnight.
Speaker 2 (33:09):
Yeah, that's right, and that's it.
Speaker 1 (33:11):
I know.
Speaker 4 (33:11):
They usually just like consecutive days, so it's like two
days and then they're back with you.
Speaker 2 (33:15):
Yep, that's right.
Speaker 4 (33:16):
He probably always wants it on the weekend though, because
that's the most convenient for him as well, isn't it.
Speaker 2 (33:20):
Yeah. Well, he actually asked can he have them through
the week because then you know he's child support. He
wanted them pretty much every daycare day and I said, oh, okay,
you could, but does that mean you'll be paying day
care fees? And he said no, I can't afford.
Speaker 4 (33:34):
That, sorry, So I would pay for the care on
the day that you're meant to be caring for them.
Speaker 5 (33:37):
I don't think so.
Speaker 2 (33:38):
Yeah, and then your care percentage will go up that
much that I'd actually be paying you as well. So
it's just very sneaky, I.
Speaker 5 (33:45):
Don't think so.
Speaker 4 (33:46):
Do you know what, girl, It sounds like you have
dropped some serious dead weight and like you might not
have seen it at the time, but I don't know
who in the universe was looking out for you. They
were like, girl, we need to dodge a bullet. This
is going to be really painful. It's going to be
the worst period of you're in entire high life. But
I promise everything gets better from here.
Speaker 2 (34:03):
Yeah, And because it got better so quickly after as well,
I think, like my like I saw the sudden, it
was just crazy, this feeling that I was like, oh, yes,
somebody was watching out for me.
Speaker 5 (34:14):
Absolutely, Oh my goodness.
Speaker 4 (34:16):
I'm so glad. But also like, no one deserves to
go through that. So I'm like upset you had to
go through it. But at the same time, I'm like,
this guy needs to get in the bin. Talk to me, though,
what do you think your best money habit is, Because
earlier in the episode you said I'm really good at
like segmenting things and putting them in the right accounts.
Speaker 5 (34:33):
Is that your best money habit?
Speaker 2 (34:34):
I would say so. So I've got up bank, and
I've got like eight buckets in my up bank.
Speaker 5 (34:40):
Okay, jessic Ricci, I love it.
Speaker 2 (34:43):
I hear Jess talk and I'm like, oh, yeah, that's me.
Speaker 4 (34:47):
She's got like eighteen at the moment. It's actually insane.
Speaker 2 (34:51):
So I have like an emergency fund that I just put,
you know, directed it into each week, and then I've
calculated like the yearly car expenses, so all of that
money goes in and we never have to dip in.
But I only actually started that after she's on the
money because I was just like, I'm never getting back
into credit card debt, and this is how it's going
to be. So sometimes my partner will be like, why
(35:13):
do we have so much money leaving the account on
our payday? Like, can't you just stop that direct debit?
Speaker 5 (35:17):
I'm like, no, no, it's not like we don't lose
the money.
Speaker 4 (35:20):
It's actually organized and planned, and the reason it leaves
that account is.
Speaker 5 (35:25):
So that it doesn't leave the rest of our accounts.
Speaker 2 (35:28):
Yeah, and you know, like I pay extra on the
electricity bill each week as a direct debit, so then
it's like a little bit of a surprise. If we're
going away, then I've got credit of like five hundred
dollars and I just pull that and it's like, oh,
that's a nice little tree.
Speaker 4 (35:41):
Yeah, that's so smart. And I feel like, you know,
if you're putting extra, especially into your electricity bill when
you can afford it, then winter comes and that like
electricity bill that has escalated because you left the heater
on a few times longer than you should have, doesn't
sting nearly as much.
Speaker 2 (35:57):
Like no, exactly. Yeah, it just feels nice.
Speaker 4 (35:59):
To have it. It's like smart planning. I think I've
said this on the podcast before, but probably years ago.
My mum always used to tell me, like when I
was going on a holiday, she could be like, go
and buy yourself a gift card and like make it
like one hundred dollars that you can spend at like
seven to eleven when you get home on fuel, so
that you don't come home and have no money and
can't afford fuel for your car, and genius. Like it
(36:21):
just feels like a little treat. When you get home,
you're like, oh, I planned for this.
Speaker 2 (36:25):
I love that. That's amazing.
Speaker 4 (36:26):
Yeah, because like you don't want to come home and
then you're like, oh my god, I have to put
like one hundred dollars worth of fuel into my car.
Speaker 5 (36:32):
This is crazy. I got of water right back into life.
Speaker 2 (36:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (36:35):
Yeah, it just feels like a little treat.
Speaker 4 (36:37):
And because you spent it, and this is delusion again
at its peak, because you spent it before you left
on holiday, it feels like it was free money.
Speaker 2 (36:44):
Absolutely right. It wasn't really mind anyway. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (36:47):
It's like when I pack away my winter coats, if
I have like a spare ten dollars. I always like
stuff it in one of the pockets because I know,
like future me will love that.
Speaker 5 (36:55):
Yeah, so dumb.
Speaker 4 (36:57):
And do you know what, every single time I forget,
I've done it. Like I am the queen of deluding myself.
Speaker 2 (37:03):
You do it every year. But it's still amazing really too.
Speaker 4 (37:06):
I literally I pulled out a coat the other day
and I was like ten bucks.
Speaker 5 (37:09):
And my husband was like, you did that to yourself,
and I was like, let me have this.
Speaker 2 (37:16):
I think like another good money habit that I have
is like I love a haggle, so I love to
get the best price. If I could haggle with coals,
I absolutely would. So a few weeks ago, I had
a broke tip that was on the podcast from Haggling.
Speaker 5 (37:31):
Oh did you Yeah? It must have been really good.
Speaker 2 (37:33):
Yeah, So I was like, oh, I just felt like
such a win. And I will just never try and
pay full price, especially big ticket items, if I can
help it.
Speaker 5 (37:40):
Why not.
Speaker 4 (37:41):
Everything's negotiable if you don't try and negotiate it, it's
not negotiable.
Speaker 5 (37:44):
Is that That's exactly right?
Speaker 2 (37:46):
They can only say no.
Speaker 5 (37:47):
And then what you say, thanks so much? For considering it,
no worries.
Speaker 2 (37:50):
Yeah, and I'll just pay anyway because I have to
buy this so.
Speaker 5 (37:54):
I need the item.
Speaker 4 (37:55):
Yeah, it was worth a crack. So tell me, what
do you think your worst money? How it is?
Speaker 2 (38:00):
So I think the incidental spending. I know that I
need to print out in my bank statement and highlight it.
And I've read the book, I've listened to the podcast
and every time I'm like, yep, I need to do that.
But that's really I think the way the money's going.
So I'll try and be organized and you know, do
a meal plan for the whole week and then buy
(38:20):
one set of groceries. But then you know, the milks
run out midweek, so then I go and it's like,
oh maybe we should get some garlic bread, and then
before you know it, it's fifty dollars.
Speaker 5 (38:29):
How does that happen?
Speaker 2 (38:30):
Though?
Speaker 4 (38:31):
Like genuinely, I popped past the supermarket last night and
this is like this is niche mum content. I picked
my son up from daycare. It was like right on
six o'clock, which is like witching hour for us. Like
if I don't feed my son once we get back
from daycare, all hell is going to break loose, right,
But I knew I had to go to the supermarket,
so I like get him. Annoyingly, he'd fallen asleep in
(38:53):
his bloody car seat, so I'm like, oh, I'll get
the carrier out because he's going to be a pain.
So I get the carrier out. So I'm carrying this
baby around. I'm thinking in my head, this is good
because I have to go straight in, get what I
need and leave.
Speaker 5 (39:07):
Still somehow fifty dollars.
Speaker 2 (39:08):
What how does it happen?
Speaker 5 (39:10):
How does it happen? Like?
Speaker 4 (39:11):
I only got like a few basics and things that
I needed literally not even.
Speaker 5 (39:16):
For me, Like I needed soap, I needed new.
Speaker 4 (39:19):
Bread, baby yogurts because we were out of those, and
by the time I'd done baby yogurts, and also formula
because my son still has like a couple of bottles
a day.
Speaker 5 (39:28):
Bam, it's just so much.
Speaker 2 (39:31):
And you try and stuck up on the formula when
it's on sale and things, but you just still seem
to run out.
Speaker 5 (39:36):
Yeah, it goes so quickly.
Speaker 4 (39:38):
You mentioned before, like your incidental spending and how you
haven't like printed out your bank statements yet. What do
you think your number one incidental spend. Is is it
like just the supermarket top ups or is it like
something else.
Speaker 2 (39:51):
I think the supermarket's definitely a big one, but probably
Camart as well.
Speaker 4 (39:56):
What are we buying Camart? Because like, I'm really good
at Camart?
Speaker 2 (39:59):
Do you know what? And that's so funny because I
can't even tell you, like one hundred percent on what
it is. But you know, I love, you know, just
getting a little treat and then I might see a
really cute out of it for the twins, so then
I'm like, oh, I should probably get that too, But
then you've got two, so double that.
Speaker 4 (40:14):
Ahh yeah, no, that would add up so quickly. I
feel like you're relatively savvy when it comes to money,
though I know you said, look, i've got credit card
debt and we're working that out, yollow, But it sounds
like you've got your upbank, you've got all your savers,
you've got an emergency fund, you're investing, you're on raise,
you've got seventy grand in super like gol. Sorry I
(40:35):
don't know how to remind you of this, but you're
raising literal twins. You're doing so well. Like we spoke
about everything that you've been through. But then also like
you earn one hundred and ten grand plus super and
you're back at full time work. You've got these four
year old beautiful twins, and somehow you're like making all
of this work. But you think you're a c Like
(40:57):
I know that the supermarket can get away from some us,
but like someone who has an emergency fund and all
of their upsavers and looks at their bank account on
payday is not.
Speaker 5 (41:07):
A sea girlfriend.
Speaker 2 (41:09):
I think I just look at the wage that we're
on and it's like, we should just be doing so
much better than this, but.
Speaker 4 (41:15):
We're in the middle of a cost of living crisis
as well. Like I just I want to shake everybody
because I think that you know, people will be like, oh, yeah,
we're on such a good income, and please do not
take this the wrong way. If you're listening to this,
not even money direst but like one hundred and ten
thousand dollars for some people, if you earn fifty thousand dollars,
you go, oh my god, the financial freedom that that
(41:37):
would afford after tax, after you've paid your super, after
you've paid back your hex. That amount of money so
easily dissipates, especially when you have kids, especially when you
are trying to just like live your life and you're not,
you know, meal planning to a t I promise for
a lot of people in that position, money just disappears,
(41:59):
like and it's not because you're irresponsible, it's just because
things are a lot tighter than they used to be,
and that one hundred dollars grocery shop now costs you
two hundred and fifty, and like, those are the things
that we don't give ourselves enough grace for. Those are
the things that we don't go. Oh, that makes sense
as to why I can't save what I want to do,
Like that makes sense as to why I can't pay
(42:19):
this credit card off any faster. Like, but you're still
putting the hard yards on yourself. You're like, oh yeah,
I'm still sie stop hurt.
Speaker 2 (42:30):
Maybe we'll go a C plus, but I think until
I paid the credit card off, then I definitely can't
get to a B.
Speaker 5 (42:35):
All right, all right, I'll allow it.
Speaker 2 (42:37):
I'll allow it.
Speaker 4 (42:37):
Call me when you get the credit card paid off,
and we'll bump you up to a B plus and
and maybe an A money dost.
Speaker 5 (42:43):
It has been a pleasure. Thank you so much.
Speaker 4 (42:45):
For sharing your story and being so bright and bubbly
about all of it, Like this could have been like a, yeah,
this ruined my life story, but you're like, so this happened,
but like my life is a million times better, Like oh,
I just I can't wait for this episode to come
out because I have two girlfriends who are currently going
through a divorce that I cannot wait to send this
(43:06):
episode too, to be like, see it can be better.
Speaker 5 (43:08):
We've gotten rid of the dead weight.
Speaker 2 (43:10):
Oh my goodness. Absolutely, And that's exactly why I wanted
to do this, because I've never talked about my money really,
but I was like, if this will show somebody to
just do.
Speaker 5 (43:19):
It, I promise it will.
Speaker 2 (43:21):
I hope it does.
Speaker 5 (43:21):
Oh my god, I know it will. Thank you so much.
Speaker 4 (43:23):
It has been such a pleasure getting to know you,
and I just know that the community is going to
love hearing from you as much as I have.
Speaker 2 (43:30):
Thank you so much.
Speaker 4 (43:37):
Did buy shared on She's on the Money is generally
nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's on
the Money exists purely for educational purposes and should not
be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision.
If you do choose to buy a financial product, read
the PDS, TMD and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored towards
(43:57):
your needs. Victoria Divine and She's on the Money are
authorized representatives of Money sherper P T y L t
D A b N three two one six four nine
two seven seven zero eight a
Speaker 5 (44:09):
F s L four five one two eight nine
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com