October 12, 2025 • 51 mins
Ever feel like everyone else’s life is speeding ahead while you’re stuck in the slow lane? This week’s Money Diarist knows that feeling too well. While her friends were off travelling, she was juggling uni deadlines and midnight feeds. At 17, she was pregnant and kicked out of school for being a “bad example.” Instead of giving up, she finished Year 12 through TAFE, raised her baby, went to uni, and rebuilt her life from scratch, all while living on Centrelink. Fast forward a decade and she’s earning six figures, owns her home, and has cleared every cent of personal debt. But getting here meant facing down shame, comparison, and that constant feeling of being “behind”… so this ep is full of the real talk we all need to hear. This episode is your reminder that it doesn’t matter where you start, you can still build something incredible from right where you are.
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Acknowledgement of Country By Nartarsha Bamblett aka Queen Acknowledgements.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
My name's Atasha Bamblet. I'm a proud First Nations woman
and I'm here to acknowledge country t Glenn Young Ganya
nianar kaka ya Ya bin Ahaka nian our gay in
Mbina yakarum jar Dominyama, Domagahawakaman, damon Imlan Bomber bang Gadabomba
in and now in wakah ghana on yakraum jar Watnadaa. Hello,
(00:22):
beautiful friends, we gather on the lands of the Aboriginal people.
We thank acknowledge and respect the Abiginal people's land that
we're gathering on today. Take pleasure in all the land
and respect all that you see. She's on the Money
podcast acknowledges culture, country, community and connections, bringing you the tools,
knowledge and resources for you to thrive.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
She's on the Money.
Speaker 3 (00:46):
She's on the Money.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
Hello, and welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast
that lets you be pervy about other people's money habits
for educational purposes, of course. Welcome back to another one
of our Money Diaries episodes where I get the absolute
pleasure of sitting down and having a chat with one
of our incredible She's on the Money community members all
about their journey. Now let's jump straight into it, because
(01:28):
this week I got a message and it sounded like this, Dear,
she's on the money. I became a mum at eighteen.
I finished Year twelve, and then four weeks later I
had my baby. Then I went onto university. While working
and raising my girl, money was tight and every dollarcounted
living on sentling. Over the years, I've worked hard to
build a career, buy a home, and create stability for
(01:50):
my family. I'm now focused on growing wealth through budgeting,
hopefully soon investing, and long term planning. My money journey
is about resilience, learning and creating the future. I only
once dreamed of money. Doris, this is very cool.
Speaker 4 (02:06):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
Sorry having a baby at eighteen while I'm assuming you
felt pregnant in grade twelve.
Speaker 5 (02:13):
Yeah, yeah, I was a start of year twelve, so
I think I found out on April Fool's Day. Oh
what a joke, it's the worst April Fools. I did
eight pregnancy tests and yeah, I was pregnant. It was
a real thing.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
No, hold on, let's backtrack a little bit. I want
to know before we dive further in, because I've just
got so many questions. What grade would you give your
money habits from A three to F.
Speaker 5 (02:36):
I think I'm really on the fence between like a
C plus or a B minus. Yeah, I'm sort of
like doing okay, but I guess there's always room for
growth in I'm only a new community member. I sort
of joined the shoes on the many communities. I listened
to podcasts in January this year.
Speaker 2 (02:52):
Sorry, welcome to the fan.
Speaker 5 (02:54):
Yeah, so I'm a newb so yeah, still just sort
of getting on track. But I do think looking back
in sort of for your books listening to the podcast today,
I have definitely had some really good habits that have
helped me get to where I am now.
Speaker 4 (03:05):
And now it's around kind of refining.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
And girl, you've had amazing habits. The fact that you
finished your twelve pregnant and did all of that like
be so for real, Like I know that the option
of dropping out might have seemed really appealing at the time.
And like one of my friends from way back when
I was in grade twelve, she actually fell pregnant, I
would say, about the same time as you did. In
(03:28):
grade twelve. She actually went into labor in our English exam,
and she finished, and she is now the most incredible
teacher and like does like runs rings around things. She
now has like three kids. She's an icon. But I
just think these stories are so beautiful because that sounds
like a really rough start to getting your money story started.
(03:50):
You didn't have time to set yourself up financially, like
there clearly wasn't a lot of planning involved in this
type of stuff. But you've come out on top, like
and you're probably in a better money situation then so
many people, and like that's just inspirational. So I cannot
wait to tear more.
Speaker 4 (04:04):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (04:05):
You did eight pregnancy tests and then what had to
melt down?
Speaker 5 (04:10):
It was just like shock, I think my partner, who's
now my husband.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
But you're still together.
Speaker 4 (04:16):
We're still together.
Speaker 2 (04:17):
That's so cute. I love love.
Speaker 4 (04:19):
We're still together.
Speaker 5 (04:20):
Yes, so thirteen years married this year we ended up
getting pregnant. A bit of a shotgun wedding just because
I think it was such a hectic here and looking back,
probably wouldn't do that again. But we got married and
we were like, let's just do this, like we're a
bit crazy, we're in survival mode.
Speaker 4 (04:36):
But yeah, I was just pronounced very shocked. I think
I just walked in the.
Speaker 5 (04:39):
Room and he was still asleep, and I just stared
at him, and then he woke up and he's like, oh, yeah,
you're pregnant.
Speaker 4 (04:44):
I was like, yeah, yeah, I am.
Speaker 6 (04:47):
No.
Speaker 5 (04:48):
Yes, it was a bit shocking, and it did change
the course of my life forever, you know, going back
before I got pregnant, I was always some one who
worked really hard. I had two jobs in high school.
I'd go from working one sort of hostpow job to
another ostcrow job, but you know, day and night on
the weekends, and always had a really big, you know,
work ethic, and it was really important to me to
(05:09):
work and have money and savings and stability. So then
to suddenly have your whole world flipped upside down did
change things for me. And it did, unfortunately lead to
me not getting any more shifts you know in my
job that was working a very big fast food company
at the time, and yeah, it sort of changed.
Speaker 4 (05:27):
It meant that, Yeah, I had to apply for center
Link and had to move schools.
Speaker 5 (05:31):
My school kicked me out and had to go and
stop her. Yeah, joined the local tafe to be able
to finish year twelve, So it did shift a lot
of things for me.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
Why did your school kick you out? Were they like
a Catholic school?
Speaker 5 (05:42):
Yeah, I was at a religious school, and yeah, the
principal called me up and said it wasn't sort of
a good role model for the younger students because I
was pregnant, which yeah, is bizarre in itself, because you know,
if we think about what maybe religious schools teach, you know,
around loving people and oh.
Speaker 2 (05:58):
Yeah, no, no, no, it is it's crazy. I also
went to a Catholic high school and my friend was
asked because she didn't get kicked out, which is really good.
And I don't know a lot about the semantics of
that conversation, but I do remember talking to her because
she was asked not to wear the uniform anymore and
that she could come to school, but she had to
be in playing clothes. And like, looking back on that,
(06:19):
it's like she's already having a rough time, like to
then be ostracized and like pointed out even more, Like
what do you like? Sometimes you just look at things
that happened during school and you go, why the hell
did anybody think that that was appropriate? Like would not
the best thing to have been done? Was keep you
in that environment and support you through that and show
(06:40):
everybody that no like, mistakes happen and we are kind. Yeah,
absolutely horrific. I'm so sorry you went through that.
Speaker 5 (06:49):
It doesn't make any sense. It's already a hard time.
You're already feeling self conscious, so let's make people more
self conscious.
Speaker 2 (06:54):
It doesn't really thousand percent. So you finish your twelve
through tafe an icon, I love this for you. What
was it like giving birth four weeks after finishing year twelve?
Speaker 5 (07:06):
It was crazy, Like I think I just set myself
a deadline, had to get three year twelve. So I
did that and then sort of had four weeks to
you never chilling. You're exhausted and you end up having
more appointments and things like that, and you're running around.
So I had my license there. I turned eighteen, sort
of halfway through my pregnancy, so that was nice to
have a bit of freedom.
Speaker 4 (07:26):
And yeah, I just kind of was I think, to.
Speaker 5 (07:30):
Be honest, I haven't really processed a lot of what
I've gone through until sort of this stage in life.
Speaker 4 (07:34):
Like it just sort of knuckled down and had to
get on that. It had to go into mom mode.
Speaker 5 (07:38):
Figure it out and my goal was always to make
sure that, you know, my daughter had a stable life
and the best life, she called it. And it didn't
feel like she came from a mum who was a teenager,
because you know, obviously stereotypeople that, you know, can look
perhaps a little bit.
Speaker 4 (07:52):
Different to what I wanted to look like. So yeah, then.
Speaker 5 (07:56):
Had her and a whole world changed, and as it
does when anyone become a mom. And yeah, it was
obviously you know, the ups and downs and the challenges
and that sort of thing. And maybe, yeah, when she
was about six months old, I decided that I was
going to go to UNI.
Speaker 4 (08:10):
So I ended up doing a media intake for UNIE and.
Speaker 2 (08:14):
You're in icon. You are in absolute icon. So you
went to UNI? What did you study?
Speaker 5 (08:19):
I did a Bachelor of Criminal Justice? Okay, icon, very
niche you know just what I was into at the time,
and you know I still am. But yeah, so when
on and did that and I ended up doing that.
I was a three year degree and I actually got
to do it in two and.
Speaker 2 (08:33):
A half years to stop it, of course you did.
Speaker 5 (08:36):
And in the middle of that, I also had my
second son two years later as.
Speaker 2 (08:39):
Well, so we adore. So what were you when you
had your second son?
Speaker 4 (08:42):
Twenty Yeah?
Speaker 2 (08:44):
Yeah, okay, So do you have any more kids now
or is it just a two?
Speaker 5 (08:48):
No?
Speaker 2 (08:49):
Two and done too and done. That is so fair
but also kind of incredible that you got them done
so early, because like, I had my first baby when
I was thirty two, and don't get me wrong, I
don't think anyone ever feels ready, Like even at thirty two,
I'm like, okay, cool, Like I've got the finances sorted,
I've got this, I've got that, and I'm in labor
and I'm like, this is cooked. Why did we do this?
(09:11):
Like I'm so scared, Like I can't imagine what that
would have been like at eighteen. But now you're probably
laughing at me because last night I was up between
two and four because my baby wouldn't stop crying, and
you were probably sleeping soundly because you get to live
your life having already done the nappies.
Speaker 4 (09:27):
Definitely, definitely.
Speaker 5 (09:29):
I think you know, we all struggle, you know, with
parenting and motherhood, and you know the challenges. Have been
awake in the middle of the night and feeling a
bit lonely and isolated, and I guess I'm learning now
that you know, that is normal for us all to
go through that at different stages. And I've had to
process a lot of grief around you know, how my
life went because back then, all my friends, you know,
we're off going clubbing and going out and going on
(09:51):
holidays and you know, had sort of a lot of
freedom that I didn't have back then, and you know,
now perhaps to have a little bit more freedom, but
you know it similar to you a lot of my
friends and outside and to slow down and have babies,
and you know, our routines still clash to this day.
So yeah, it's a very different stage of life for
me now, but I definitely don't forget the challenges of
(10:12):
motherhood and yeah, all those late nights.
Speaker 2 (10:14):
No, but it sounds like you took to it like
a duck to water, which is so nice to hear,
Like you just want to know that if that's the journey,
like you can just get it done. Do you feel
like you missed out? Like is that part of you know,
you said you're going through some grief and like trying
to work through that. Is that because you're like I
really missed out on part of my youth or like,
what does that part look like?
Speaker 5 (10:36):
Yeah, I think it definitely feels like I missed out
on a lot. And I guess that's sort of, you know,
part of my money story as well, is, you know,
often I got into sort of some bad habits of
really comparing myself to other people, and you know, people
would have money to go to trouble or to just
go out for dinner or a coffee, and you know,
I guess one of my experiences, you know, I had
(10:57):
a really good mother's group. I'm so lucky I ended
up an adult mother's group because the young ones just
weren't my fit. But I had a really good mother's group,
but I was struggling so much financially that you know,
sometimes they'd be like, let's just meet at a cafe,
and I didn't even have five dollars or four dollars
back then for a coffee, and so I just wouldn't go.
And so, yeah, it was really hard because I was
(11:18):
always comparing myself to other moms at that time, but
also compared to myself to my peers who were all
you knowbviously eighteen nineteen twenty live in their best lives
as you should be.
Speaker 2 (11:28):
At that age, Yeah, but the comparison is not comparable,
and like at the time, you don't know that. Like,
but going to mother's group with the adult group, I'm
sure that you know personality wise, you might have gone
on a lot more, but just the differences in circumstances
would have meant that you would have felt really less
than you would have felt like, oh, I don't fit
in here. And I can always guarantee, like if they
(11:48):
knew your situation, they would have been like, money, dress,
We've got your coffee, come along, it doesn't matter. But
like you're not going to put your hand up and
say that like that, that's not how we're feeling in
that moment or time. So it's just it's really upsetting.
And then your friends going out, you'd be like, well,
I can't resonate with anybody, I'm all on my own.
Was it very isolating during that time, Yeah, it was.
Speaker 4 (12:10):
It was very.
Speaker 5 (12:10):
Isolating, and I think you then sort of start saying
no to people for genuine reason, and then the invites
sort of dry up and you're still sort of hearing
from people. And you know, at the time, I think
I became quite upset towards that, But you know, as
I get older, you understand that, like you know, people,
you know, they sort of you know, put in the
(12:30):
effort and then when they feel like it's not being reciprocated,
and they sometimes, specially at the age of twenty, you
often don't have that empathy of an understanding of like
what it would be like to be in a different situation.
Speaker 2 (12:39):
Yeah, one hundred perve.
Speaker 4 (12:40):
So I can really see that differently now.
Speaker 5 (12:41):
But yeah, at the time was really isolating and yeah,
just really really challenging.
Speaker 4 (12:45):
Just stood doing it on my own.
Speaker 5 (12:46):
But I guess for me, I just made the choice
that I was just going to knuckle down, focus on UNI,
focus on spending time, you know with my daughter, and
then yeah, my son who came along as well.
Speaker 4 (12:57):
And yeah, just put a lot of energy into that.
Speaker 5 (13:00):
So yeah, really to set ourselves up, our sort of
goal was, you know, to buy a house, as I
think most people's goals are, you know, in that nuclear
family kind of vibe. But yeah, so that was sort
of our long term goal or if you need work hard,
hopefully get a house and have some sort of stability.
Speaker 2 (13:14):
Yeah, and like I look at it and I just
go brilliant, like how good you've kind of like set
yourselves up in this way, and you've just got so
much time, Like you're only thirty. Like the amount of
people that haven't even done anything near what you've done
at the age of thirty, it's not a comparison, but
it's just like you probably don't know how well you're doing.
And I want to like hug you and shake you
(13:36):
at the same time and be like money doars, like
this is actually like the prime time, Like your kids
are probably a little bit more independent. I'm assuming they're
ten and twelve, is that right.
Speaker 5 (13:45):
Yeah, ten and twelve and almost thirteen, almost eleven, it's
yeah birthdays, November birthdays.
Speaker 2 (13:50):
Yeah, or you're about to go through it again. But
I feel like that's the time where now you can
focus on your budgeting and you're building wealth, and there's
no day care fees and there's probably a bit more
flexibility with school and pickups and drop offs, Like this
is the prime I'm just so excited for you and
the fact that you already own a home, Like stop
(14:11):
it tell me a little bit more about what life
looks like today, because we've talked about like the journey,
but like what's today you've built your career and you've
got a home and you're creating stability. What do you
and your partner do for work? And how much money
do you win? Yeah?
Speaker 5 (14:24):
So I work for state government, So I went into
sort of yeah, justice related work and currently working as
a project officer.
Speaker 4 (14:32):
Yeah, for state government. I earn around one hundred, one
hundred and eleven thousand a year plus super. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:39):
And because you're working for state government, what's your super rate?
Speaker 5 (14:42):
I think it's just the standard. It's not the same
as federal government, which is a bummer, but.
Speaker 2 (14:47):
Yeah, yeah, I was like, how does that work? Because
every state and territory is different.
Speaker 4 (14:50):
Yeah, so I think what is Victoria on twelfth?
Speaker 2 (14:54):
Yeah? Twelve percent? Yeah? How good? And what does your
partner do?
Speaker 5 (14:58):
He is a project manager in like the construction space
and he earns I think around one hundred and eighty
five including super stop it.
Speaker 2 (15:07):
You guys are so set up for success, Like it
might not feel like it at the moment because you've
just been like, you know, treading water, but like with
a good budget and cash flow plan and starting to
learn about investing, like, oh, I could like pick you
up and make you really rich. I'm so excited about
your situation. Tell me a little bit more, like you've
bought the house, and I'll get to that in a
(15:29):
hot minute. Like you've built a clearly incredible career. What
are your next big money goals? Like what are you
two currently working towards.
Speaker 4 (15:37):
I think that's where the limbo has kind of come
for the last few years.
Speaker 5 (15:40):
And I guess I'm a little bit shy to say,
like we've been in our house for almost six years now,
and I feel like we've probably just been a bit
stagnant for the last six years. Like we had this
huge goal and I guess we had really big plans
to you know, we got.
Speaker 4 (15:53):
Pregnant, had babies, had to go to UNI.
Speaker 5 (15:56):
Want to tuy a house like that was just our
like sort of goal, and then we kind of got here,
and I think we've just kind of been like, oh,
now what, and probably like the last few years have
just been so now I'm dealing with I guess the
emotional side of how challenging like our twenties and you know,
life has been for us up until now, and so
of doing some work on that.
Speaker 4 (16:16):
But then I think at the start of this year
we were.
Speaker 5 (16:17):
Both like we feel a bit directionless, like what's going on?
And i'd actually seen your book a few times, like
I've done a few holidays, see that at the airport
and I was like, oh, I should read that one day.
Speaker 4 (16:27):
Never did like the clouds that I am, and then
found the podcast.
Speaker 2 (16:30):
But also like I'm not going to lie. I'm so sorry,
like I haven't always been good at money and like, yeah,
the cover's pretty and I tried really hard, but like
that doesn't mean I even would have picked up a
money book. I feel like you pick up my book
when you're like, Okay, it's not like a oh, that
looks like a fantastic read. I think it's like I
probably need to get my shit together, all right, I'll
(16:50):
pick up this book like I get it. I'm not
expecting you to be like, oh my god, I just
saw this great book, Ademis. Like that's not how it works.
I feel like we finally get to a point where
we're like, maybe I need to learn a little bit
more about money, and then I'm like, hi, it's me.
I've been waiting, yeah.
Speaker 4 (17:06):
And I think that's yeah, that's totally it.
Speaker 5 (17:09):
I think they've been sort of like desires to probably
want to work on like the next stage, because I think, yeah,
feeling a bit directionless, Like I do really well with goals.
Speaker 4 (17:17):
I do really well with a clear sort.
Speaker 5 (17:19):
Of plan, and then if I don't have a plan
or goals, I'm just like, yeah, I'll spend as much
money on whatever I want, or sure, let's book these
holidays and who cares, you know about savings and that
sort of thing. So yeah, I guess sort of January
this year was sort of like a daughter started high
school and it was like, wow, we like we got
to where we wanted to be. But also I think
(17:39):
I had an idea that things would just sort of
fall into place a bit more.
Speaker 4 (17:44):
You know, my parents were really good with money growing up.
Speaker 5 (17:46):
I didn't come from a family that struggled or anything.
Speaker 4 (17:49):
My husband definitely did.
Speaker 5 (17:50):
And I think our money stories have definitely clashed in
some ways at times. Yeah, it's been challenging sometimes just
to sort of be on the same page around money.
And so I think this year has been like, let's
get on the same page. I have ADHD and so
I get Halper fixated. So like this is my harp
A fixation of the year is She's on the Money podcast,
reading all your books, doing the audio books, Like, yeah,
(18:13):
I'm crazy.
Speaker 2 (18:14):
No you're not, because like my hyperfixation was creating she's
on the money. So Hi.
Speaker 5 (18:19):
At one point I was like, oh, I should just
retrain and like get into finance, but like, you know,
we need to settle down.
Speaker 4 (18:24):
So yeah, at the moment, it's just kind of trying
to I guess, sort of figure.
Speaker 5 (18:28):
Out where to from here. And probably this year it's
been like maybe looking at investing. I have not started yet,
but that's probably my next goal or our next goal
is to start to sort of yet I guess create
that sort of longer term Well then you know, see
where we can put our money that it's actually going
to be doing something instead of just sitting you know,
in a bank account or just spending it just because
(18:49):
it's there.
Speaker 2 (18:50):
Yeah, and that totally feels like where a lot of
our community are sitting. And I love your thought pattern.
You're like, oh my gosh, yeah, like let's hopefully soon
invest make those plans. But like what I would encourage
you to do is really zoom out and go okay, cool,
Like I'm assuming your partner is probably the same age
as you. We're thirty, what are we doing and what
(19:11):
do we want life to feel like? So like instead
of talking about like the strategies that can come later,
I can teach you the strategies, like I know all
of those, but I can't tell you what you want.
So you need to sit down and go okay, cool,
Like we're going to have kids. Let's like do a
timeline of like, well, when are the kids going to
be both over the age of eighteen? What kind of
lifestyle do we want to have at that point? Like,
(19:32):
you know, are we planning on working in these full
time jobs forever? Like I want you to question everything,
like does your husband still want to be in project management?
Like is he loving it?
Speaker 6 (19:41):
Is he not?
Speaker 2 (19:41):
Like Let's have these deep conversations that do make you
question what's going on in life, Like do you like
working for state government? You might be like, yes, Queen,
I love it. Okay, great, tick off, Next talk about
something else. But what does even retirement look like? Because
you've just spent so long basically on the treadmill of life. Kids, kids, kids,
(20:02):
that's all you've been thinking about. But the next twenty
years you can create significant wealth, But the world is
going to look really different. You're not going to have
those commitments of getting kids to and from sport, getting
kids to and from school, all of that, Like, what
are we doing with our free time? What do we
want that to look like? And I find that with
clients that I've had historically that have had kids really young,
(20:25):
they can sometimes once they get their kids to the
age of eighteen, they're like, oh my god, I've just
gotten off the treadmill of like getting them through life successfully.
What do we do now? We're kind of bored, like
cold on, Like my entire life was my kids, and
now what I'm just hanging out at home with my
husband while my kids are out at the clubs like
(20:45):
and I think that that's where we need to be
thinking about, Well, what does life look like?
Speaker 1 (20:50):
Like?
Speaker 2 (20:50):
What does travel look like? I know you said before
we booked some holidays, and I love that, Okay, but
like what other places do we want to go? And
at what kind of age range? You're like, all right,
so we want to do Europe, But maybe we want
to do Europe when the kids are a bit older
and appreciate it more. Or maybe we don't want to
do Europe at all, Maybe we want to just go
to beach holidays or do you know what I mean, Like,
let's zoom out and go what would life look like
(21:11):
for us to be at our happiest Because I look
at your income and I'm like, great, You've got like
about three hundred thousand dollars between the two of you.
Life balance is going to look good. But also wealth
creation is coming, like you have so long and I'm
so excited about it for you. But like I think
that right now you might be drilling down into the
how to create that life without knowing what the life
(21:32):
is looking like.
Speaker 5 (21:33):
Yeah, yeah, And I think that's definitely probably one thing
that I've always done is I kind of just grow
straight too.
Speaker 2 (21:39):
I do it too. I just jumped straight ahead, and
I'm like, right, well, investing is the answer. But like
for a long time I was investing without a real
clean strategy of like where I wanted that to go.
I knew I wanted more money because money buys freedom
and freedom is good and that feels great. But like
now my husband and I'm like, okay, cool. So these
are some like you know, micro goals of travel, like
(21:59):
over the next years. And here's some like you know,
family goals and things that we want to do, because
like we're still in family building mode and like talking
about babies and all of that, but then what does
do you want to upgrade cars? At some point? Like
are we going to put those as goals or are
you're like, oh, we couldn't give two rats Victoria that
that doesn't matter. So I think going into this in
(22:19):
financial planning, the process is kind of like if you
came to see an advisor, you would do a fact
find process, so I'd collect all of your boring data,
name age, whatever your incomes. Then you do discovery. So
we're not jumping into solutions. Were just like, what do
you want? How do you want it? How do we
create this life? Because the life you want could be
(22:40):
yachting around Italy on a yacht for all of the
rest of your retirement, or you could be like, yeah,
I just want to stay home and hopefully my kids
one day have grandkids and that's the life I want
to live. We can create both of those, but they
require different strategies of building wealth, and so I think
we need to go back to the base. And when
you said I have ADHD and I was like, great,
(23:00):
you're a queen who likes to jump ahead.
Speaker 5 (23:02):
Same, Yeah, slowing down is like, yeah, definitely a skill.
Speaker 2 (23:05):
I need to work on exactly. And you can be
a little bit aspirational, like organize a date with your
husband and be like, what do you want to do
when we're like sixty, because like, I don't know about you,
but like I adore my husband and I hope that
that feeling is still there when I'm sixty. How do
I maintain that? Like what do we need to do
in our relationship to make sure that we are still
as in love at that point because it is going
(23:26):
to take work, it doesn't just happen.
Speaker 4 (23:28):
Yeah, absolutely, absolutely, So yeah, I.
Speaker 5 (23:31):
Think for us still figuring that long term stuff out,
we're definitely working on a bit more short term things,
just like trying to enjoy life a bit more because
I think for a long time life wasn't enjoyable. You know,
building up hobbies again, and you know, building up the
things that we like to do, which obviously you know,
takes some money.
Speaker 4 (23:48):
We're both into road cycling. Sorry that it's a.
Speaker 5 (23:50):
Bit of an expensive hobby, so you know, yeah, putting
money into that and making sure that we're sort of
enjoying life while we're going because I think that it's
so easy to get stuck in down scarcity mindset of like, oh,
we don't have enough, or I shouldn't spend money on
this because we did come from such struggle, and sometimes
they can be a bit of guilt associated with that.
But then, yeah, just trying to get that balance of
(24:12):
doing things that we enjoy now but also creating I
guess some money habits that mean that we continue to
be stable and you know, a good support for our
kids as well in the future, because it's.
Speaker 4 (24:23):
Only getting harder to buy a house.
Speaker 5 (24:25):
So yeah, been out about how the kids, you know,
buy a house and things like that, or even just
stay at home longer would be amazing as well.
Speaker 2 (24:32):
No, it's so true. All right, let's go to a
really quick break because on the flip side, I want
to talk about like the investments that I already know
you've been researching. We haven't dove in yet, but I
know we're going to get there. I want to know
more about this house, any debts, and then we're going
to talk about best and worst money habits, So guys,
don't go anywhere money dives. We are back and I
(24:53):
have been loving this chat, and I feel like there's
just so much potential in your money story now that
you've said, oh, look I do you'd find the podcast
in January and I'm going to like start doing this,
this and this. But I'm touching on or you're touching
on a few like themes that I'm like, oh my god, no,
what do you mean you feel guilty? Or what do
you mean you feel bad? Like we're just starting here,
(25:13):
Like there's no guilt when it comes to money, there's no.
I don't know. I feel like so many times we
crucify ourselves because you go, oh, that was a bad
money decision, Like, yes, do you know what is a
bad money decision? When I got into forty thousand dollars
worth of personal debt if you framed it that way, sorry,
But if I hadn't gotten into forty thousand dollars worth
of terrible personal debt, where would she's on the money
(25:35):
have come from. So I think that sometimes you have
to go through your struggles and come out the other
side to not only appreciate life and the things that
you've created for yourself, but like, sorry, they formed you
into who you are, Like we're not sorry about that.
Like you're clearly an epic human being doing very cool
things and supporting a family. Ten out of ten from me, Like,
(25:56):
I just I don't think that there should be any
guilt there because we all do the best that we
can with the tools and the resources that we have
at the time. Like, let's go back to baby you
you had your second baby at twenty if you could
have done better, and I said, hey, here's a strategy.
I know she would have grasped that, but she didn't
have access to it. So were you doing the best
that you could at the time? One thousand percent? But
(26:19):
now you look back and you're kind of like, oh,
well that wasn't very good. Sorry, our baby money diarist.
She was doing the best she could. We're not mean
to her, We're nice to her, all.
Speaker 5 (26:27):
Right, Absolutely, yes, I know, And I am trying to
get better at being kind to myself. And yeah, that
Liney just said, you know, he sort of did the
best of what I had at the time. It is
definitely the theme of this year looking back on my life,
and yeah, sometimes I think I need to be kinder
to myself.
Speaker 4 (26:42):
So thank you.
Speaker 2 (26:43):
I think you need to too. And if you aren't
going to be kind of just call me up and
I'll aggressively be nice. Thank you money, darrist. Let's talk
about investments for a hot second. You've said before or
in your diary in you said hopefully soon we're going
to start investing. What does that journey like? Is that
something where you're just starting a conversation? Are you starting
(27:03):
the research? How is that going for you?
Speaker 4 (27:06):
It's very early days.
Speaker 5 (27:08):
It definitely overwhelms me, which I'm from a lot of
Shares on the Money, reading and things like that and
just yeah, things online, Like I can tell it overwhelms
a lot of people, and you know a lot of
the obviously advice is sort of you know, just getting
in there is actually the first sort of hurdle.
Speaker 4 (27:23):
But yeah, no, very early days.
Speaker 5 (27:24):
I haven't I think I downloaded Chairsyas, but I just
haven't even done anything yet.
Speaker 2 (27:29):
Oh look that's six million times further ahead than heaps
of people.
Speaker 5 (27:33):
But yeah, I think it's just like, you know, I
have sort of always, you know, a little bit of
money left over each month, and I'm like, oh, you know,
maybe that would be a good idea just to start
sort of putting, just to kind of get my toes
in the water and see how it sort of works.
Because I'm not familiar with shares or anything like that,
Like it's very new to me. It probably makes me
a little bit overwhelmed sometimes thinking.
Speaker 2 (27:55):
About it one hundred percent. And that's where we all start.
When I first started looking at shares before I was
even in financial advice, what the hell, what do you mean?
And there's just so many different words and terminology and
like the way things work, and what do you mean
there's going to be a distribution of dividends? Okay, well
when does that happen? Like I knew nothing, and that
(28:16):
can be overwhelming, And that's just where you're starting. But
I promise the more you dip your toes in, the better.
And it's not I don't know. A lot of people go, oh,
I downloaded chairs is but I'm scared to make my
first investment. I've got like a thousand dollars sitting to
the side, and you're like, stop, start with a dollar,
Like start with something that you're like, okay, well, this
is the cost of a cup of coffee. You know,
(28:37):
if I dropped my coffee, it wouldn't be the end
of the world. But it can give you that financial
literacy because I think so much of the time we
especially as women, especially as women with ADHD, how many
times do you over research, over analyze, overthink, and then go,
I'm not ready because you think the further I get
into this research, the more I'm learning and the more
(28:58):
I'm realizing I don't know or anything. Classic analysis paralysis,
classic right. But the reality is ready is a choice.
It is not a feeling like you can't just go, oh,
you know what, I'm actually a genius now, I do
you know? I could run rings around day traders. Let
me make my first investment on charess Like that is
not how people feel. You kind of have to deep
(29:20):
your toes in the water and then watch it and go, oh,
how did that work? Oh okay, well that didn't you know,
even just seeing the silly little processes that don't feel
big but are like, okay, well that's how I put
the money into the account, and then that's how I
picked a share and oh look that's how quick it
ended up in my wallet, and then oh I can
see it through the app on a daily basis here
or goes up and down. Interesting, Like it's one of
(29:43):
those things where ready is a choice. And you can
keep learning because like, at the end of the day,
let's say you invest ten bucks. What if it's on
the worst share of a what happens?
Speaker 4 (29:54):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (29:55):
Nothing? Okay, cool? Do you know what I mean? Like,
I think, especially as somebody who is I'm the Queen
of analysis paralysis. Ask my whole team, like I spend
six years making a decision that they already knew what
my decision was going to be, like when they pitched
the idea. It's actually very frustrating. But I think sometimes
you just have to do it and go, oh, yeah, right,
well that wasn't the right one, but I can change
(30:16):
because we're not talking about putting our life savings in there.
Please don't do that. That's scary and I think that's
actually terrible idea.
Speaker 4 (30:23):
Yeah, no, definitely not. No.
Speaker 5 (30:24):
I think it's just sort of get it to start
to develop my education in that space, and yeah, figure
it out, so hopefully I will. Yeah, just give it
a shot, because.
Speaker 2 (30:34):
It sounds like you're on the right track though, so
that is very special. Talk to me a little bit
more about your debt. So you've said that you have
a house. Is that the only debt that you have?
Speaker 4 (30:43):
Yeah, we only have a house.
Speaker 5 (30:45):
So we have had credit cards in the past and
a car loan in the past and all that sort of.
Speaker 2 (30:51):
Thing, which but you've paid them all off, paid them off.
Speaker 4 (30:54):
Yes, never want to get a credit card again. It
kills me. Yeah, No, We've just got our home.
Speaker 5 (31:00):
We did refinance last year and we ended up paying
out our car loan, like so adding it to our homelands.
Our homelan's a bit higher than like what it used
to be, but it was a better interest rate and
we just sort of thought the one payment.
Speaker 2 (31:12):
One hundred percent. Nope, I agree, and also like the
interest rate on your car and payment would have gone
down significantly. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (31:19):
Yeah, it was a nightmare.
Speaker 5 (31:20):
And we had bought the car on finance, Like I
think it just got to the point where I don't
know if I'd do the same thing now.
Speaker 4 (31:26):
But we had been driving really old, crappy cars.
Speaker 5 (31:28):
I would always be breaking and I had a little
tiny binger with the kids one day and I just
was like, no, I want a new, safer car like
and so you know, I just didn't really even think
about it as when I bought it, and you had
to get a car loan because we didn't have the money,
but looking back now, like as expensive as it was, like,
I'm so glad that we did it. It's reliable. We've
had no car troubles ever since. So it's a hard
(31:52):
one where you know, I'd get like carlons and debt
come sometimes can be not good, but also at the
same time, it got us to a better.
Speaker 2 (31:58):
Place one hundred percent. And like I was doing the
maps the other day for a friend of mine who
doesn't have the cash to purchase a car, and I
was like, actually, I've just looked at all your budget
or your finance, Like as much as like a car
loan doesn't sound sexy, it's actually the best option for you,
like you know, shop around, find the best rate, and
organize it. I think that the problem is when we
(32:18):
don't think through these decisions, and it's like you just
automatically get a car loan because you go, well, that's
how things should be, when in reality you maybe didn't
need a new car, or you know, it's impacting your
ability to generate wealth or put food on the table
or live life the way you want to. I think
I'm more about questioning every single decision to make sure
it's the right one for your situation. But it doesn't
(32:40):
mean don't do it. It just means, let's just be really
cautious going into these things because I'm sorry, I actually
do not live in d lulu Land. I'm quite aware
that most people can't afford to outright purchase brand new cars,
but I do want them to be questioning why they
think they need a new car, because nine times out
of ten, it's not a situation like yours, where you're like,
I felt unsafe with my children and I was racking
(33:03):
up a lot of, you know, different expenses on fixing
cars that were just breaking consistently. That's a bit different
to like, oh my god, I keep looking at the
range Rover and everybody online has one, and I can
buy a secondhand one on finite, do you know what
I mean. That's a different story.
Speaker 4 (33:18):
Yeah, And I think for us it got.
Speaker 5 (33:20):
To the point where we were both dressed driving really
old cars, like three thousand dollar cars, and they just
kept breaking. And by the time we did all the
calculations of how many repairs we've done over a twelve
month period, it was similar to the loan repayment, and
it was like, all right, I'd rather just pray for
the depreciation and the interest. Then yeah, keep repairing a
car that's just not getting me to where I need
to go. So, yeah, we refinanced last year and yeah,
(33:41):
added that onto our home loan. But yeah, it's nice
now just having the one payment per month, which is nice.
Speaker 4 (33:46):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (33:46):
So what's your home loan currently sitting at.
Speaker 5 (33:49):
It's sitting at six hundred and thirty three thousand roughly.
Speaker 2 (33:53):
And you purchased I believe you said, six years ago.
Speaker 5 (33:57):
Yeah, six years ago, so we've got it for six
ninety six.
Speaker 4 (34:01):
So it's a little bit higher than we ideally would
like it at the moment.
Speaker 2 (34:04):
That actually doesn't matter at this point, you've got six
million years ahead of you because you're still a baby.
But yes, carry on you. Yeah.
Speaker 5 (34:11):
So we brought that in twenty nineteen and it's an
awesome home. We've been able to do a few renovations
and things like that to it. We paid off our
hex that two years.
Speaker 2 (34:21):
Ago, both of you, both of us. Yeah, oh my god.
So I was about to be like, do you have
any HEXTX? We always forget to talk about that, but
none there.
Speaker 4 (34:29):
No, that was just through work. I don't know how
I did.
Speaker 5 (34:32):
I did a job for a little while that had
some overtime, so I was really lucky that I didn't
put extra into it, but just it seemed to bring
my HEX down a lot in that sort of eighteen
month period that I was doing that job, and I
hadn't realized, And so we ended up getting a really.
Speaker 4 (34:47):
Big tax return because I hadn't realized that i'd paid
it off.
Speaker 2 (34:50):
Because that's a nice position to be in.
Speaker 5 (34:52):
Yeah, I've only just learned the mic of isn't like
a live stat of what your hex is. So yeah,
we got a really big time so we're able to
do a few things around the house. So we've redone
our laundry, we've redone the bathroom for the kids, and
we've done the floors. So the house is all sort
of where we wanted at the moment.
Speaker 4 (35:09):
Which is nice.
Speaker 2 (35:09):
And what do you think the house is worth now?
Speaker 5 (35:11):
It's worth about nine to eighty when we had a
value last year.
Speaker 2 (35:15):
Oh stop it. So you've got some really nice equity
sitting there should you ever decide to like buy an
investment property or even have some wiggle room, like oh,
that's when you said, oh, it's you know six ninety
six purchase price. I think you said six thirty three
current loan, Like a lot of people will be like,
oh after six years, but she's been sitting on that
and made nearly three hundred grand guys, So I think
(35:37):
that's a pretty good situation to be and if you're sold.
Speaker 5 (35:40):
Yeah, it was nice to have the car paid out
in Yeah, so look, it is what it is. We
also did purchase for one hundred, like almost one hundred percent.
We had a guaranteur from my husband's grandfather. He went guaranteur,
which was really kind and we're very lucky, I know,
how privileged you know we are.
Speaker 4 (35:59):
We had saved enough money to pay for the stamp duty.
Speaker 5 (36:02):
That was our sort of deposit money, just paid for
the stamp duty at right, So our loan was sort
of one hundred percent when we started. So yeah, it
was essentially six ninety six and we had that guaranteur
off in twelve months.
Speaker 2 (36:13):
So, oh my god, how good. Yeah.
Speaker 5 (36:15):
The property prices so we bought on election day in
twenty nineteen, and it was just the prices was sort
of a bit low and no one wanted.
Speaker 4 (36:22):
To buy this house. So we're like, cool, we will
and twelve months later it had shot up.
Speaker 2 (36:28):
That's so good, and then you would have got it
reevaluated and then you would have been able to release
the guaranteur and the bank will like see that is
literally my favorite thing ever, right because I own a
mortgage breaking business and talk about this all the time,
and people are always like, oh my god, Like if
I get a guaranteur, I'm impacting them for life. And
it does feel like this, and it is a big thing. Like,
don't get me wrong, we're putting a caveat over someone
(36:49):
else's home. That says if money dires doesn't pay her loan,
this person will be chased up for it. So it
is a significant commitment in saying that. That doesn't mean
that they're going to be on it for the thirty
years that you signed for. Like you can literally get
out of it within the first twelve months if property
prices change or if you know you were able to
(37:10):
smash down a bit of the loan and release that.
Like for a lot of people, having a guarante or
gets them into the market sooner. And like, if you'd
had to save your whole house deposit, especially with two kids,
I'm pretty sure it would have taken you more than
six years. For the average Australian it takes eleven years
to save their whole home deposit. That's a twenty percent deposit.
(37:33):
So sorry you're telling me that because his grandpa decided
to go yep, I will absolutely help you.
Speaker 4 (37:39):
Guys.
Speaker 2 (37:39):
You were able to build essentially three hundred thousand dollars
worth of wealth to sit there and put you in
a way better position. Oh my god, one thousand percent.
I want to be able to do the same for
my kids.
Speaker 5 (37:48):
Yeah, we're so grateful, and it meant that we got
to have some really good conversations about money too. You know,
we committed that we would be paying extra on the
mortgage because.
Speaker 4 (37:57):
At the time we were saving and paying rent.
Speaker 5 (38:00):
So we just agreed that we'd keep paying that total
amount onto the mortgage, which was about fifteen hundred dollars
more than the mortgage of payment at the time.
Speaker 4 (38:07):
So yeah, we were able to do that. And because
we were doing that, we had that habit we have
always paid quite a lot more.
Speaker 5 (38:13):
So I think at the moment it's still roughly around
fifteen hundred more a month that we're paying off our mortgage.
And so when the interest rates went up. Yes, we
definitely felt that we didn't have as much sort of
redraw sitting there, for example, like we didn't have to
shift our expenses too much.
Speaker 2 (38:28):
So yeah, yes, love love love love. So the other
thing I wanted to ask because I feel like I
don't know, I just I'm questioning everything about your story.
You came and you're like, oh, probably a C plus
or a B minus and I'm just like pix girls delusional.
But okay, so tell me a bit more because I reckon,
you've got some pretty good money habits. What do you
(38:49):
think is your best money habit?
Speaker 5 (38:51):
I think it's just been able to like if I
get something in my head, I can just do it
so like I set myself for god last year that
I was going to buy any lunch or coffee up
for example, when I was working, because I started calculating
like how much money I was spending on lunch at
work and to coffee, and I was like, girl, what
are you doing? So when I put my mind to something,
(39:12):
I can really just knuckle down and do it. Like
it doesn't feel like I guess at chore. I've always
ever since I guess, you know, been eighteen and we
got our first rent tool back then, and I think
our rent back then was two ninety five a week
and we had about twelve hundred a fortnight coming in,
so you know, it was always a sort of relatively big.
Speaker 4 (39:34):
Portion about income.
Speaker 5 (39:36):
And I've always just paid the rent and the bills
and everything as soon as we get paid, pay every bill,
pay all the rent, and then it's sort of like
what are we left with, so that you know, I'm
never behind on those essential things like you know, a
roof of your head and electricity and water and that
sort of thing.
Speaker 4 (39:52):
So I think sort of.
Speaker 5 (39:53):
Like my best money have it easier, probably like when
I need to, we can sort of knuckle down and
just get on with it and real prioritizing those major
sort of bills and things like that, and then you.
Speaker 4 (40:04):
Know, I guess life and FuMB will come later.
Speaker 5 (40:06):
But now I'm in a spot where we can kind
of prioritize both pay the mortgage, pay the bills, but
then also have some fun money and that we.
Speaker 4 (40:13):
Don't have to have any pressure or anything on.
Speaker 2 (40:15):
So yeah, balance, see, you're already working towards it, and
I feel like that is one of the most healthiest
money habits. Ever, it's not like every week I sit
down and you know, do ABCD. It's like I've managed
to find a balance between what works and what needs
to happen and obsessed on the flip side, I mean,
you better be a good bad money habit because you said, oh,
(40:38):
it might be like a C plus, Like, I'll tell
you about it. What's your worst money habit? Come on,
it's got to be good. I feel like the chemistry
between you and I is about to tell me that
your bad money habit is probably something I do. So
tell me, Oh, I.
Speaker 4 (40:53):
Love to shop.
Speaker 5 (40:54):
I'm very I could be very impulsive, Like I can
be so planned and you know, organized and and it's
awesome and then next minute I'm like, yeah, I want
to go get that new outfit, or I'm going to
the new.
Speaker 2 (41:05):
Mecca or where are we shopping Mecca.
Speaker 4 (41:09):
Seed Country Road Dish.
Speaker 2 (41:11):
Yeah, we could go shopping together. We'd have a great time,
and I feel like we'd enable each other because do
you know what I would do. I'd be like, oh, babe,
I mean those pants are white. That's a staple, that's
an investment. Like if you need me to be the
bad friend, I can be like, I'm not going to
talk you out of a cute purchase.
Speaker 4 (41:28):
My friends are too sensible, So yeah, I definitely need that. Yeah.
Speaker 5 (41:34):
So I think my bad money habit is I can
just be that bit impulsive and I'll put money aside
for something that is like a genuine thing I'm putting
aside for, Like I've started going to getting a bit
of a Christmas fund and then I'm like, yeah, but
there is a sale. Maybe we'll just take a little
bit of money from that, and like I need to
seriously work about that.
Speaker 4 (41:53):
Yeah. So I think just that more impulsive spending side of.
Speaker 2 (41:57):
Things, But that goes hand in hand with ADHD. I'm
so sorry. We are suckers for instant gratification. Like if
it is shiny, we are basically bower birds. And I
think the best thing we can do is consistently talk
about that and go, oh, I'm really bad at this
or I'm you know, really struggling with this, so that
we can try different strategies, because a strategy that works
(42:18):
for me might not work for you, and you can
kind of like trial and error and work out what works.
But one of the best things I think you can
do is go back through your finances and get a highlighter.
It's going to be really boring and it's also really confronting,
so you might need a little bit of like a
glass of wine or something to do this. But go
back and just like highlight all of the purchases that
you think were pretty impulsive, and then I want you
(42:40):
to write down how you feel about them now because
I can guarantee, like, don't get me wrong, I'm a
level for it, Mecca, Like you can't tell me like
anything basically, like I know better. But what I also
know is that going through and understanding how those things
actually don't spark that much joy anymore. Yeah, Like, and
(43:01):
it's the bigger purchases where I've gone, all right, well
I really do you know. Let's pretend it's a makeup product,
And right now I'm looking at a Charlotte till Ree
bronzer and I've got it saved in my Mecca cut
on the app and I have for a while. But
I also know I've got a bronzer at home, So
I'm trying to be a responsible adult and be like
I don't need that, right, I don't, but like I
keep looking at it and have you said how beautiful
the packaging is. Like that gets me as well. So
(43:23):
I just know, one I'm not going to go into Mecca,
but two, I'm going to keep thinking about this and
then once I've run out of something else, I'm going
to give myself that as kind of a reward. And
once that happens, I just know I'm going to enjoy
it a little bit more. Like if it was impulsive, yeah,
I'm going to use it, but like if I feel
like I have earned it, and I know that we're
(43:45):
not saying, oh yeah, you worked so hard for that bronzer,
so lame. But if I feel like I have delayed
that purchase as much as possible, and then I decided
I still really want it. It sits on my bathroom counter,
and when I use it feels better Like it just does.
So like, how do we get you to a point
where you're like, impulsive shopping is actually not as good
as I thought it was. I get this really high
(44:06):
dopamine hit at the very start, then I don't give
a shit. So what am I going to do? Because
I can almost guarantee if I go through your wardrobe
there's probably heaps of stuff I want. But also stuff
that you've forgotten about, and also stuff that you're like, oh, yeah,
I really liked that when I was in store, and
I just haven't worn it. Like it's confronting and it's terrible,
but like that's just who we are, so we just
(44:26):
need to be honest about that.
Speaker 4 (44:28):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (44:28):
I think it's been more mindful sort of probably in
my spending and what I do want to spend things
on is probably my next thing to be working on.
Speaker 2 (44:35):
And that's not bad. I think. My first tip and
if you've read my book, you already know it. It's
put twenty four hours between you and you're spending. And
I say that because you know a week would be better,
but like I don't have the patience for a week. Yeah,
Like I just need to tell myself, Victoria, if you
still really want it, you can have it tomorrow. And
most of the time, because I have ADHD, I already
forgot what it was.
Speaker 5 (44:55):
Yeah, yeah, I'm exactly the same. And yeah, we've been
applying that sort of that bit to our just overall
household budget as well, because you know, you decide, oh,
there's a furniture sale, or we should buy any coffee
table or something. If I don't need a coffee table walk.
Speaker 4 (45:08):
Out of the store.
Speaker 2 (45:10):
It's so rough, isn't it. I totally get that, but
I also don't think that that drags your money score
down to a C plus, Like if I do a
very quick recap, I'm sorry, but you felt pregnant while
in year twelve, got kicked out of school, finished high
school at TAFE, went on to have a second baby
at twenty, and you were at UNI. You did UNI
(45:31):
in a shorter period of time than most people would do.
How I don't know, because I couldn't even balance my
work life balance and I didn't have kids at UNI.
But you popped off. Then you've built your career, have
an incredible job. Both you and your husband own over
six figures, like and be real, that's just going to
keep increasing over time because your university educated. And like
you were saying before, look, I work for state government.
(45:53):
I know there are so many steps ahead of you
in that space, like there's just so much opportunity. Same
with project management for your partner. Yes, he's on a
really good innings of like what one eighty five now,
but like you and I both know that just goes
up from there. Like the more experience they get, the
more money comes in in that space. So like the
trajectory is looking incredible. You've got a really solid mortgage.
(46:14):
You've made some really good decisions when it comes to money.
Sorry you said I had a car loan. You know
we don't have that anymore. It's kind of rolled into
the mortgage. We've had credit cards, but we've paid them
all off. Sorry, you're making really good money decisions, like
really good, and I'm pretty sure your kids are like, oh,
mom and dad, we're really proud of them. Like sorry,
you're putting a roof over your kids' heads. And most
(46:35):
thirty year olds right now still haven't saved for their
first home deposits. And that's not throwing shade, that's just going, hey,
I don't think you realize how much you've achieved because
you've been in survival mode for so long, Like you
probably haven't reflected and been like, oh well actually, because
like let's go back to the mother's group conversation. You're
comparing yourself to people who are probably so far ahead
(46:55):
of you and also have a ten and a twelve
year old because like school mom, I'm assuming that's where
the comparison comes from girl. They're in their forties.
Speaker 4 (47:04):
Yeah, they're all in their forties, late forties, yeah, mich to.
Speaker 2 (47:06):
Late forties, yeah exactly. And we're comparing ourselves to that,
Like you're thirty, they're looking at you, going, how has
she got her shit together so well? And on the
flip side, you're comparing yourself to your friends that were
out clubbing while you were at home looking after your kids.
And there's no shade on either side. But they've been
enjoying their twenties. And don't get me wrong, I would
(47:27):
feel like I was missing out a little bit too.
And I'm not disregarding what you've been through, but like
it's kind of like they've probably only just started knuckling
down now. So if you compare to them, that's also
a terrible comparison. You're just running your own race. Put
some blinkers on, because you're killing it. I really like,
I'm not going to get you to redo your like
your money grade, but I just know you're sitting closer
(47:48):
to an A than you think you are. But you
keep finding reasons to drag yourself down and go, well,
we're not investing, well, we don't own an investment property. Well,
we just don't have a lot of direction. Good find
that's so fun, Like you're starting here and that's so exciting.
Like there's just so much going on. And I think
with some good planning, a good budget and cash flow
(48:09):
system so that everything flows through, you'll be able to
identify what you can invest, what you can save, what
life looks like in the future. Then we can talk
about investing and getting ahead. Like I'm just so excited.
Speaker 4 (48:20):
For you, Thank you, thank you.
Speaker 2 (48:22):
This is just this is such a good money story.
Like I just feel like you're right. Your money journey
is about resilience, learning and creating the future that you
only once dreamed of. Like, if I go back to baby,
you you're what's seventeen.
Speaker 4 (48:35):
Yeah, seventeen when I found out.
Speaker 2 (48:36):
You found out when you were pregnant. Hey, babe, you're
married to the man that you fell pregnant to. You
are deeply in love. You've been together for thirteen years.
You own a house, you've got cars together, your kids
are at school. Your first daughter, Oh my god, she's
just gotten into high school. That's crazy. Did you think
it would work out like this?
Speaker 4 (48:53):
Yeah? I know.
Speaker 5 (48:55):
When you put it like that, I'm like, Okay, I've
actually done probably better than I'm giving myself credit for,
because this is everything that I did want back then.
And yeah, it is a bit crazy that I, you know,
set ourselves to this sort of goal and this trajectory
and we have got here, And yeah, it is probably
nice to be able to go, you know, even have
a conversation like this and be like reflecting back that, Okay,
(49:17):
I actually have coup a lot of a and have
achieved a lot exactly.
Speaker 2 (49:21):
And then also, sorry, you're thirty and you're on six figures,
like crazy, actually crazy to think that you did this yourself,
Like nobody else did this. You did this, and that's incredible.
So like straight a for me, Yes, we can work
on investing. Yes we can work on heaps of stuff,
but not only do we have time, we actually have
the budget. Like there's so much flexibility in your cash
(49:42):
flow that we could ebb and flow with and work
out what that looks like that the potential isn't just
like Okay, well, one of the things we need to
do is work on increasing your income so that we
can achieve the lifestyle you want. We don't have to
do that, Like you're ahead of the game. I'm so
excited and I'm so sad that we're running out of time.
Thank you, Thank you money Darist. It has been an
(50:03):
absolute pleasure having a chat with you today. I feel
very grateful that we've been able to uncover a little
bit more about your money story, learn about you. I
feel like this is a very special money story, and
I'm hoping that there are a few women in our
community who resonate with it as well and go, oh
my god, you're right, I am killing it and comparing
myself to the wrong types of people or the wrong standards.
(50:25):
But I really really appreciate that you've shared your story,
and I just know that our community is going to
be as grateful as I am.
Speaker 4 (50:30):
Thank you so much. Thanks for having me on here.
Speaker 6 (50:38):
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Speaker 2 (50:57):
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(00:22):
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Speaker 2 (00:44):
She's on the Money.
Speaker 3 (00:46):
She's on the Money.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
Hello, and welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast
that lets you be pervy about other people's money habits
for educational purposes, of course. Welcome back to another one
of our Money Diaries episodes where I get the absolute
pleasure of sitting down and having a chat with one
of our incredible She's on the Money community members all
about their journey. Now let's jump straight into it, because
(01:28):
this week I got a message and it sounded like this, Dear,
she's on the money. I became a mum at eighteen.
I finished Year twelve, and then four weeks later I
had my baby. Then I went onto university. While working
and raising my girl, money was tight and every dollarcounted
living on sentling. Over the years, I've worked hard to
build a career, buy a home, and create stability for
(01:50):
my family. I'm now focused on growing wealth through budgeting,
hopefully soon investing, and long term planning. My money journey
is about resilience, learning and creating the future. I only
once dreamed of money. Doris, this is very cool.
Speaker 4 (02:06):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
Sorry having a baby at eighteen while I'm assuming you
felt pregnant in grade twelve.
Speaker 5 (02:13):
Yeah, yeah, I was a start of year twelve, so
I think I found out on April Fool's Day. Oh
what a joke, it's the worst April Fools. I did
eight pregnancy tests and yeah, I was pregnant. It was
a real thing.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
No, hold on, let's backtrack a little bit. I want
to know before we dive further in, because I've just
got so many questions. What grade would you give your
money habits from A three to F.
Speaker 5 (02:36):
I think I'm really on the fence between like a
C plus or a B minus. Yeah, I'm sort of
like doing okay, but I guess there's always room for
growth in I'm only a new community member. I sort
of joined the shoes on the many communities. I listened
to podcasts in January this year.
Speaker 2 (02:52):
Sorry, welcome to the fan.
Speaker 5 (02:54):
Yeah, so I'm a newb so yeah, still just sort
of getting on track. But I do think looking back
in sort of for your books listening to the podcast today,
I have definitely had some really good habits that have
helped me get to where I am now.
Speaker 4 (03:05):
And now it's around kind of refining.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
And girl, you've had amazing habits. The fact that you
finished your twelve pregnant and did all of that like
be so for real, Like I know that the option
of dropping out might have seemed really appealing at the time.
And like one of my friends from way back when
I was in grade twelve, she actually fell pregnant, I
would say, about the same time as you did. In
(03:28):
grade twelve. She actually went into labor in our English exam,
and she finished, and she is now the most incredible
teacher and like does like runs rings around things. She
now has like three kids. She's an icon. But I
just think these stories are so beautiful because that sounds
like a really rough start to getting your money story started.
(03:50):
You didn't have time to set yourself up financially, like
there clearly wasn't a lot of planning involved in this
type of stuff. But you've come out on top, like
and you're probably in a better money situation then so
many people, and like that's just inspirational. So I cannot
wait to tear more.
Speaker 4 (04:04):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (04:05):
You did eight pregnancy tests and then what had to
melt down?
Speaker 5 (04:10):
It was just like shock, I think my partner, who's
now my husband.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
But you're still together.
Speaker 4 (04:16):
We're still together.
Speaker 2 (04:17):
That's so cute. I love love.
Speaker 4 (04:19):
We're still together.
Speaker 5 (04:20):
Yes, so thirteen years married this year we ended up
getting pregnant. A bit of a shotgun wedding just because
I think it was such a hectic here and looking back,
probably wouldn't do that again. But we got married and
we were like, let's just do this, like we're a
bit crazy, we're in survival mode.
Speaker 4 (04:36):
But yeah, I was just pronounced very shocked. I think
I just walked in the.
Speaker 5 (04:39):
Room and he was still asleep, and I just stared
at him, and then he woke up and he's like, oh, yeah,
you're pregnant.
Speaker 4 (04:44):
I was like, yeah, yeah, I am.
Speaker 6 (04:47):
No.
Speaker 5 (04:48):
Yes, it was a bit shocking, and it did change
the course of my life forever, you know, going back
before I got pregnant, I was always some one who
worked really hard. I had two jobs in high school.
I'd go from working one sort of hostpow job to
another ostcrow job, but you know, day and night on
the weekends, and always had a really big, you know,
work ethic, and it was really important to me to
(05:09):
work and have money and savings and stability. So then
to suddenly have your whole world flipped upside down did
change things for me. And it did, unfortunately lead to
me not getting any more shifts you know in my
job that was working a very big fast food company
at the time, and yeah, it sort of changed.
Speaker 4 (05:27):
It meant that, Yeah, I had to apply for center
Link and had to move schools.
Speaker 5 (05:31):
My school kicked me out and had to go and
stop her. Yeah, joined the local tafe to be able
to finish year twelve, So it did shift a lot
of things for me.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
Why did your school kick you out? Were they like
a Catholic school?
Speaker 5 (05:42):
Yeah, I was at a religious school, and yeah, the
principal called me up and said it wasn't sort of
a good role model for the younger students because I
was pregnant, which yeah, is bizarre in itself, because you know,
if we think about what maybe religious schools teach, you know,
around loving people and oh.
Speaker 2 (05:58):
Yeah, no, no, no, it is it's crazy. I also
went to a Catholic high school and my friend was
asked because she didn't get kicked out, which is really good.
And I don't know a lot about the semantics of
that conversation, but I do remember talking to her because
she was asked not to wear the uniform anymore and
that she could come to school, but she had to
be in playing clothes. And like, looking back on that,
(06:19):
it's like she's already having a rough time, like to
then be ostracized and like pointed out even more, Like
what do you like? Sometimes you just look at things
that happened during school and you go, why the hell
did anybody think that that was appropriate? Like would not
the best thing to have been done? Was keep you
in that environment and support you through that and show
(06:40):
everybody that no like, mistakes happen and we are kind. Yeah,
absolutely horrific. I'm so sorry you went through that.
Speaker 5 (06:49):
It doesn't make any sense. It's already a hard time.
You're already feeling self conscious, so let's make people more
self conscious.
Speaker 2 (06:54):
It doesn't really thousand percent. So you finish your twelve
through tafe an icon, I love this for you. What
was it like giving birth four weeks after finishing year twelve?
Speaker 5 (07:06):
It was crazy, Like I think I just set myself
a deadline, had to get three year twelve. So I
did that and then sort of had four weeks to
you never chilling. You're exhausted and you end up having
more appointments and things like that, and you're running around.
So I had my license there. I turned eighteen, sort
of halfway through my pregnancy, so that was nice to
have a bit of freedom.
Speaker 4 (07:26):
And yeah, I just kind of was I think, to.
Speaker 5 (07:30):
Be honest, I haven't really processed a lot of what
I've gone through until sort of this stage in life.
Speaker 4 (07:34):
Like it just sort of knuckled down and had to
get on that. It had to go into mom mode.
Speaker 5 (07:38):
Figure it out and my goal was always to make
sure that, you know, my daughter had a stable life
and the best life, she called it. And it didn't
feel like she came from a mum who was a teenager,
because you know, obviously stereotypeople that, you know, can look
perhaps a little bit.
Speaker 4 (07:52):
Different to what I wanted to look like. So yeah, then.
Speaker 5 (07:56):
Had her and a whole world changed, and as it
does when anyone become a mom. And yeah, it was
obviously you know, the ups and downs and the challenges
and that sort of thing. And maybe, yeah, when she
was about six months old, I decided that I was
going to go to UNI.
Speaker 4 (08:10):
So I ended up doing a media intake for UNIE and.
Speaker 2 (08:14):
You're in icon. You are in absolute icon. So you
went to UNI? What did you study?
Speaker 5 (08:19):
I did a Bachelor of Criminal Justice? Okay, icon, very
niche you know just what I was into at the time,
and you know I still am. But yeah, so when
on and did that and I ended up doing that.
I was a three year degree and I actually got
to do it in two and.
Speaker 2 (08:33):
A half years to stop it, of course you did.
Speaker 5 (08:36):
And in the middle of that, I also had my
second son two years later as.
Speaker 2 (08:39):
Well, so we adore. So what were you when you
had your second son?
Speaker 4 (08:42):
Twenty Yeah?
Speaker 2 (08:44):
Yeah, okay, So do you have any more kids now
or is it just a two?
Speaker 5 (08:48):
No?
Speaker 2 (08:49):
Two and done too and done. That is so fair
but also kind of incredible that you got them done
so early, because like, I had my first baby when
I was thirty two, and don't get me wrong, I
don't think anyone ever feels ready, Like even at thirty two,
I'm like, okay, cool, Like I've got the finances sorted,
I've got this, I've got that, and I'm in labor
and I'm like, this is cooked. Why did we do this?
(09:11):
Like I'm so scared, Like I can't imagine what that
would have been like at eighteen. But now you're probably
laughing at me because last night I was up between
two and four because my baby wouldn't stop crying, and
you were probably sleeping soundly because you get to live
your life having already done the nappies.
Speaker 4 (09:27):
Definitely, definitely.
Speaker 5 (09:29):
I think you know, we all struggle, you know, with
parenting and motherhood, and you know the challenges. Have been
awake in the middle of the night and feeling a
bit lonely and isolated, and I guess I'm learning now
that you know, that is normal for us all to
go through that at different stages. And I've had to
process a lot of grief around you know, how my
life went because back then, all my friends, you know,
we're off going clubbing and going out and going on
(09:51):
holidays and you know, had sort of a lot of
freedom that I didn't have back then, and you know,
now perhaps to have a little bit more freedom, but
you know it similar to you a lot of my
friends and outside and to slow down and have babies,
and you know, our routines still clash to this day.
So yeah, it's a very different stage of life for
me now, but I definitely don't forget the challenges of
(10:12):
motherhood and yeah, all those late nights.
Speaker 2 (10:14):
No, but it sounds like you took to it like
a duck to water, which is so nice to hear,
Like you just want to know that if that's the journey,
like you can just get it done. Do you feel
like you missed out? Like is that part of you know,
you said you're going through some grief and like trying
to work through that. Is that because you're like I
really missed out on part of my youth or like,
what does that part look like?
Speaker 5 (10:36):
Yeah, I think it definitely feels like I missed out
on a lot. And I guess that's sort of, you know,
part of my money story as well, is, you know,
often I got into sort of some bad habits of
really comparing myself to other people, and you know, people
would have money to go to trouble or to just
go out for dinner or a coffee, and you know,
I guess one of my experiences, you know, I had
(10:57):
a really good mother's group. I'm so lucky I ended
up an adult mother's group because the young ones just
weren't my fit. But I had a really good mother's group,
but I was struggling so much financially that you know,
sometimes they'd be like, let's just meet at a cafe,
and I didn't even have five dollars or four dollars
back then for a coffee, and so I just wouldn't go.
And so, yeah, it was really hard because I was
(11:18):
always comparing myself to other moms at that time, but
also compared to myself to my peers who were all
you knowbviously eighteen nineteen twenty live in their best lives
as you should be.
Speaker 2 (11:28):
At that age, Yeah, but the comparison is not comparable,
and like at the time, you don't know that. Like,
but going to mother's group with the adult group, I'm
sure that you know personality wise, you might have gone
on a lot more, but just the differences in circumstances
would have meant that you would have felt really less
than you would have felt like, oh, I don't fit
in here. And I can always guarantee, like if they
(11:48):
knew your situation, they would have been like, money, dress,
We've got your coffee, come along, it doesn't matter. But
like you're not going to put your hand up and
say that like that, that's not how we're feeling in
that moment or time. So it's just it's really upsetting.
And then your friends going out, you'd be like, well,
I can't resonate with anybody, I'm all on my own.
Was it very isolating during that time, Yeah, it was.
Speaker 4 (12:10):
It was very.
Speaker 5 (12:10):
Isolating, and I think you then sort of start saying
no to people for genuine reason, and then the invites
sort of dry up and you're still sort of hearing
from people. And you know, at the time, I think
I became quite upset towards that, But you know, as
I get older, you understand that, like you know, people,
you know, they sort of you know, put in the
(12:30):
effort and then when they feel like it's not being reciprocated,
and they sometimes, specially at the age of twenty, you
often don't have that empathy of an understanding of like
what it would be like to be in a different situation.
Speaker 2 (12:39):
Yeah, one hundred perve.
Speaker 4 (12:40):
So I can really see that differently now.
Speaker 5 (12:41):
But yeah, at the time was really isolating and yeah,
just really really challenging.
Speaker 4 (12:45):
Just stood doing it on my own.
Speaker 5 (12:46):
But I guess for me, I just made the choice
that I was just going to knuckle down, focus on UNI,
focus on spending time, you know with my daughter, and
then yeah, my son who came along as well.
Speaker 4 (12:57):
And yeah, just put a lot of energy into that.
Speaker 5 (13:00):
So yeah, really to set ourselves up, our sort of
goal was, you know, to buy a house, as I
think most people's goals are, you know, in that nuclear
family kind of vibe. But yeah, so that was sort
of our long term goal or if you need work hard,
hopefully get a house and have some sort of stability.
Speaker 2 (13:14):
Yeah, and like I look at it and I just
go brilliant, like how good you've kind of like set
yourselves up in this way, and you've just got so
much time, Like you're only thirty. Like the amount of
people that haven't even done anything near what you've done
at the age of thirty, it's not a comparison, but
it's just like you probably don't know how well you're doing.
And I want to like hug you and shake you
(13:36):
at the same time and be like money doars, like
this is actually like the prime time, Like your kids
are probably a little bit more independent. I'm assuming they're
ten and twelve, is that right.
Speaker 5 (13:45):
Yeah, ten and twelve and almost thirteen, almost eleven, it's
yeah birthdays, November birthdays.
Speaker 2 (13:50):
Yeah, or you're about to go through it again. But
I feel like that's the time where now you can
focus on your budgeting and you're building wealth, and there's
no day care fees and there's probably a bit more
flexibility with school and pickups and drop offs, Like this
is the prime I'm just so excited for you and
the fact that you already own a home, Like stop
(14:11):
it tell me a little bit more about what life
looks like today, because we've talked about like the journey,
but like what's today you've built your career and you've
got a home and you're creating stability. What do you
and your partner do for work? And how much money
do you win? Yeah?
Speaker 5 (14:24):
So I work for state government, So I went into
sort of yeah, justice related work and currently working as
a project officer.
Speaker 4 (14:32):
Yeah, for state government. I earn around one hundred, one
hundred and eleven thousand a year plus super. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:39):
And because you're working for state government, what's your super rate?
Speaker 5 (14:42):
I think it's just the standard. It's not the same
as federal government, which is a bummer, but.
Speaker 2 (14:47):
Yeah, yeah, I was like, how does that work? Because
every state and territory is different.
Speaker 4 (14:50):
Yeah, so I think what is Victoria on twelfth?
Speaker 2 (14:54):
Yeah? Twelve percent? Yeah? How good? And what does your
partner do?
Speaker 5 (14:58):
He is a project manager in like the construction space
and he earns I think around one hundred and eighty
five including super stop it.
Speaker 2 (15:07):
You guys are so set up for success, Like it
might not feel like it at the moment because you've
just been like, you know, treading water, but like with
a good budget and cash flow plan and starting to
learn about investing, like, oh, I could like pick you
up and make you really rich. I'm so excited about
your situation. Tell me a little bit more, like you've
bought the house, and I'll get to that in a
(15:29):
hot minute. Like you've built a clearly incredible career. What
are your next big money goals? Like what are you
two currently working towards.
Speaker 4 (15:37):
I think that's where the limbo has kind of come
for the last few years.
Speaker 5 (15:40):
And I guess I'm a little bit shy to say,
like we've been in our house for almost six years now,
and I feel like we've probably just been a bit
stagnant for the last six years. Like we had this
huge goal and I guess we had really big plans
to you know, we got.
Speaker 4 (15:53):
Pregnant, had babies, had to go to UNI.
Speaker 5 (15:56):
Want to tuy a house like that was just our
like sort of goal, and then we kind of got here,
and I think we've just kind of been like, oh,
now what, and probably like the last few years have
just been so now I'm dealing with I guess the
emotional side of how challenging like our twenties and you know,
life has been for us up until now, and so
of doing some work on that.
Speaker 4 (16:16):
But then I think at the start of this year
we were.
Speaker 5 (16:17):
Both like we feel a bit directionless, like what's going on?
And i'd actually seen your book a few times, like
I've done a few holidays, see that at the airport
and I was like, oh, I should read that one day.
Speaker 4 (16:27):
Never did like the clouds that I am, and then
found the podcast.
Speaker 2 (16:30):
But also like I'm not going to lie. I'm so sorry,
like I haven't always been good at money and like, yeah,
the cover's pretty and I tried really hard, but like
that doesn't mean I even would have picked up a
money book. I feel like you pick up my book
when you're like, Okay, it's not like a oh, that
looks like a fantastic read. I think it's like I
probably need to get my shit together, all right, I'll
(16:50):
pick up this book like I get it. I'm not
expecting you to be like, oh my god, I just
saw this great book, Ademis. Like that's not how it works.
I feel like we finally get to a point where
we're like, maybe I need to learn a little bit
more about money, and then I'm like, hi, it's me.
I've been waiting, yeah.
Speaker 4 (17:06):
And I think that's yeah, that's totally it.
Speaker 5 (17:09):
I think they've been sort of like desires to probably
want to work on like the next stage, because I think, yeah,
feeling a bit directionless, Like I do really well with goals.
Speaker 4 (17:17):
I do really well with a clear sort.
Speaker 5 (17:19):
Of plan, and then if I don't have a plan
or goals, I'm just like, yeah, I'll spend as much
money on whatever I want, or sure, let's book these
holidays and who cares, you know about savings and that
sort of thing. So yeah, I guess sort of January
this year was sort of like a daughter started high
school and it was like, wow, we like we got
to where we wanted to be. But also I think
(17:39):
I had an idea that things would just sort of
fall into place a bit more.
Speaker 4 (17:44):
You know, my parents were really good with money growing up.
Speaker 5 (17:46):
I didn't come from a family that struggled or anything.
Speaker 4 (17:49):
My husband definitely did.
Speaker 5 (17:50):
And I think our money stories have definitely clashed in
some ways at times. Yeah, it's been challenging sometimes just
to sort of be on the same page around money.
And so I think this year has been like, let's
get on the same page. I have ADHD and so
I get Halper fixated. So like this is my harp
A fixation of the year is She's on the Money podcast,
reading all your books, doing the audio books, Like, yeah,
(18:13):
I'm crazy.
Speaker 2 (18:14):
No you're not, because like my hyperfixation was creating she's
on the money. So Hi.
Speaker 5 (18:19):
At one point I was like, oh, I should just
retrain and like get into finance, but like, you know,
we need to settle down.
Speaker 4 (18:24):
So yeah, at the moment, it's just kind of trying
to I guess, sort of figure.
Speaker 5 (18:28):
Out where to from here. And probably this year it's
been like maybe looking at investing. I have not started yet,
but that's probably my next goal or our next goal
is to start to sort of yet I guess create
that sort of longer term Well then you know, see
where we can put our money that it's actually going
to be doing something instead of just sitting you know,
in a bank account or just spending it just because
(18:49):
it's there.
Speaker 2 (18:50):
Yeah, and that totally feels like where a lot of
our community are sitting. And I love your thought pattern.
You're like, oh my gosh, yeah, like let's hopefully soon
invest make those plans. But like what I would encourage
you to do is really zoom out and go okay, cool,
Like I'm assuming your partner is probably the same age
as you. We're thirty, what are we doing and what
(19:11):
do we want life to feel like? So like instead
of talking about like the strategies that can come later,
I can teach you the strategies, like I know all
of those, but I can't tell you what you want.
So you need to sit down and go okay, cool,
Like we're going to have kids. Let's like do a
timeline of like, well, when are the kids going to
be both over the age of eighteen? What kind of
lifestyle do we want to have at that point? Like,
(19:32):
you know, are we planning on working in these full
time jobs forever? Like I want you to question everything,
like does your husband still want to be in project management?
Like is he loving it?
Speaker 6 (19:41):
Is he not?
Speaker 2 (19:41):
Like Let's have these deep conversations that do make you
question what's going on in life, Like do you like
working for state government? You might be like, yes, Queen,
I love it. Okay, great, tick off, Next talk about
something else. But what does even retirement look like? Because
you've just spent so long basically on the treadmill of life. Kids, kids, kids,
(20:02):
that's all you've been thinking about. But the next twenty
years you can create significant wealth, But the world is
going to look really different. You're not going to have
those commitments of getting kids to and from sport, getting
kids to and from school, all of that, Like, what
are we doing with our free time? What do we
want that to look like? And I find that with
clients that I've had historically that have had kids really young,
(20:25):
they can sometimes once they get their kids to the
age of eighteen, they're like, oh my god, I've just
gotten off the treadmill of like getting them through life successfully.
What do we do now? We're kind of bored, like
cold on, Like my entire life was my kids, and
now what I'm just hanging out at home with my
husband while my kids are out at the clubs like
(20:45):
and I think that that's where we need to be
thinking about, Well, what does life look like?
Speaker 1 (20:50):
Like?
Speaker 2 (20:50):
What does travel look like? I know you said before
we booked some holidays, and I love that, Okay, but
like what other places do we want to go? And
at what kind of age range? You're like, all right,
so we want to do Europe, But maybe we want
to do Europe when the kids are a bit older
and appreciate it more. Or maybe we don't want to
do Europe at all, Maybe we want to just go
to beach holidays or do you know what I mean, Like,
let's zoom out and go what would life look like
(21:11):
for us to be at our happiest Because I look
at your income and I'm like, great, You've got like
about three hundred thousand dollars between the two of you.
Life balance is going to look good. But also wealth
creation is coming, like you have so long and I'm
so excited about it for you. But like I think
that right now you might be drilling down into the
how to create that life without knowing what the life
(21:32):
is looking like.
Speaker 5 (21:33):
Yeah, yeah, And I think that's definitely probably one thing
that I've always done is I kind of just grow
straight too.
Speaker 2 (21:39):
I do it too. I just jumped straight ahead, and
I'm like, right, well, investing is the answer. But like
for a long time I was investing without a real
clean strategy of like where I wanted that to go.
I knew I wanted more money because money buys freedom
and freedom is good and that feels great. But like
now my husband and I'm like, okay, cool. So these
are some like you know, micro goals of travel, like
(21:59):
over the next years. And here's some like you know,
family goals and things that we want to do, because
like we're still in family building mode and like talking
about babies and all of that, but then what does
do you want to upgrade cars? At some point? Like
are we going to put those as goals or are
you're like, oh, we couldn't give two rats Victoria that
that doesn't matter. So I think going into this in
(22:19):
financial planning, the process is kind of like if you
came to see an advisor, you would do a fact
find process, so I'd collect all of your boring data,
name age, whatever your incomes. Then you do discovery. So
we're not jumping into solutions. Were just like, what do
you want? How do you want it? How do we
create this life? Because the life you want could be
(22:40):
yachting around Italy on a yacht for all of the
rest of your retirement, or you could be like, yeah,
I just want to stay home and hopefully my kids
one day have grandkids and that's the life I want
to live. We can create both of those, but they
require different strategies of building wealth, and so I think
we need to go back to the base. And when
you said I have ADHD and I was like, great,
(23:00):
you're a queen who likes to jump ahead.
Speaker 5 (23:02):
Same, Yeah, slowing down is like, yeah, definitely a skill.
Speaker 2 (23:05):
I need to work on exactly. And you can be
a little bit aspirational, like organize a date with your
husband and be like, what do you want to do
when we're like sixty, because like, I don't know about you,
but like I adore my husband and I hope that
that feeling is still there when I'm sixty. How do
I maintain that? Like what do we need to do
in our relationship to make sure that we are still
as in love at that point because it is going
(23:26):
to take work, it doesn't just happen.
Speaker 4 (23:28):
Yeah, absolutely, absolutely, So yeah, I.
Speaker 5 (23:31):
Think for us still figuring that long term stuff out,
we're definitely working on a bit more short term things,
just like trying to enjoy life a bit more because
I think for a long time life wasn't enjoyable. You know,
building up hobbies again, and you know, building up the
things that we like to do, which obviously you know,
takes some money.
Speaker 4 (23:48):
We're both into road cycling. Sorry that it's a.
Speaker 5 (23:50):
Bit of an expensive hobby, so you know, yeah, putting
money into that and making sure that we're sort of
enjoying life while we're going because I think that it's
so easy to get stuck in down scarcity mindset of like, oh,
we don't have enough, or I shouldn't spend money on
this because we did come from such struggle, and sometimes
they can be a bit of guilt associated with that.
But then, yeah, just trying to get that balance of
(24:12):
doing things that we enjoy now but also creating I
guess some money habits that mean that we continue to
be stable and you know, a good support for our
kids as well in the future, because it's.
Speaker 4 (24:23):
Only getting harder to buy a house.
Speaker 5 (24:25):
So yeah, been out about how the kids, you know,
buy a house and things like that, or even just
stay at home longer would be amazing as well.
Speaker 2 (24:32):
No, it's so true. All right, let's go to a
really quick break because on the flip side, I want
to talk about like the investments that I already know
you've been researching. We haven't dove in yet, but I
know we're going to get there. I want to know
more about this house, any debts, and then we're going
to talk about best and worst money habits, So guys,
don't go anywhere money dives. We are back and I
(24:53):
have been loving this chat, and I feel like there's
just so much potential in your money story now that
you've said, oh, look I do you'd find the podcast
in January and I'm going to like start doing this,
this and this. But I'm touching on or you're touching
on a few like themes that I'm like, oh my god, no,
what do you mean you feel guilty? Or what do
you mean you feel bad? Like we're just starting here,
(25:13):
Like there's no guilt when it comes to money, there's no.
I don't know. I feel like so many times we
crucify ourselves because you go, oh, that was a bad
money decision, Like, yes, do you know what is a
bad money decision? When I got into forty thousand dollars
worth of personal debt if you framed it that way, sorry,
But if I hadn't gotten into forty thousand dollars worth
of terrible personal debt, where would she's on the money
(25:35):
have come from. So I think that sometimes you have
to go through your struggles and come out the other
side to not only appreciate life and the things that
you've created for yourself, but like, sorry, they formed you
into who you are, Like we're not sorry about that.
Like you're clearly an epic human being doing very cool
things and supporting a family. Ten out of ten from me, Like,
(25:56):
I just I don't think that there should be any
guilt there because we all do the best that we
can with the tools and the resources that we have
at the time. Like, let's go back to baby you
you had your second baby at twenty if you could
have done better, and I said, hey, here's a strategy.
I know she would have grasped that, but she didn't
have access to it. So were you doing the best
that you could at the time? One thousand percent? But
(26:19):
now you look back and you're kind of like, oh,
well that wasn't very good. Sorry, our baby money diarist.
She was doing the best she could. We're not mean
to her, We're nice to her, all.
Speaker 5 (26:27):
Right, Absolutely, yes, I know, And I am trying to
get better at being kind to myself. And yeah, that
Liney just said, you know, he sort of did the
best of what I had at the time. It is
definitely the theme of this year looking back on my life,
and yeah, sometimes I think I need to be kinder
to myself.
Speaker 4 (26:42):
So thank you.
Speaker 2 (26:43):
I think you need to too. And if you aren't
going to be kind of just call me up and
I'll aggressively be nice. Thank you money, darrist. Let's talk
about investments for a hot second. You've said before or
in your diary in you said hopefully soon we're going
to start investing. What does that journey like? Is that
something where you're just starting a conversation? Are you starting
(27:03):
the research? How is that going for you?
Speaker 4 (27:06):
It's very early days.
Speaker 5 (27:08):
It definitely overwhelms me, which I'm from a lot of
Shares on the Money, reading and things like that and
just yeah, things online, Like I can tell it overwhelms
a lot of people, and you know a lot of
the obviously advice is sort of you know, just getting
in there is actually the first sort of hurdle.
Speaker 4 (27:23):
But yeah, no, very early days.
Speaker 5 (27:24):
I haven't I think I downloaded Chairsyas, but I just
haven't even done anything yet.
Speaker 2 (27:29):
Oh look that's six million times further ahead than heaps
of people.
Speaker 5 (27:33):
But yeah, I think it's just like, you know, I
have sort of always, you know, a little bit of
money left over each month, and I'm like, oh, you know,
maybe that would be a good idea just to start
sort of putting, just to kind of get my toes
in the water and see how it sort of works.
Because I'm not familiar with shares or anything like that,
Like it's very new to me. It probably makes me
a little bit overwhelmed sometimes thinking.
Speaker 2 (27:55):
About it one hundred percent. And that's where we all start.
When I first started looking at shares before I was
even in financial advice, what the hell, what do you mean?
And there's just so many different words and terminology and
like the way things work, and what do you mean
there's going to be a distribution of dividends? Okay, well
when does that happen? Like I knew nothing, and that
(28:16):
can be overwhelming, And that's just where you're starting. But
I promise the more you dip your toes in, the better.
And it's not I don't know. A lot of people go, oh,
I downloaded chairs is but I'm scared to make my
first investment. I've got like a thousand dollars sitting to
the side, and you're like, stop, start with a dollar,
Like start with something that you're like, okay, well, this
is the cost of a cup of coffee. You know,
(28:37):
if I dropped my coffee, it wouldn't be the end
of the world. But it can give you that financial
literacy because I think so much of the time we
especially as women, especially as women with ADHD, how many
times do you over research, over analyze, overthink, and then go,
I'm not ready because you think the further I get
into this research, the more I'm learning and the more
(28:58):
I'm realizing I don't know or anything. Classic analysis paralysis,
classic right. But the reality is ready is a choice.
It is not a feeling like you can't just go, oh,
you know what, I'm actually a genius now, I do
you know? I could run rings around day traders. Let
me make my first investment on charess Like that is
not how people feel. You kind of have to deep
(29:20):
your toes in the water and then watch it and go, oh,
how did that work? Oh okay, well that didn't you know,
even just seeing the silly little processes that don't feel
big but are like, okay, well that's how I put
the money into the account, and then that's how I
picked a share and oh look that's how quick it
ended up in my wallet, and then oh I can
see it through the app on a daily basis here
or goes up and down. Interesting, Like it's one of
(29:43):
those things where ready is a choice. And you can
keep learning because like, at the end of the day,
let's say you invest ten bucks. What if it's on
the worst share of a what happens?
Speaker 4 (29:54):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (29:55):
Nothing? Okay, cool? Do you know what I mean? Like,
I think, especially as somebody who is I'm the Queen
of analysis paralysis. Ask my whole team, like I spend
six years making a decision that they already knew what
my decision was going to be, like when they pitched
the idea. It's actually very frustrating. But I think sometimes
you just have to do it and go, oh, yeah, right,
well that wasn't the right one, but I can change
(30:16):
because we're not talking about putting our life savings in there.
Please don't do that. That's scary and I think that's
actually terrible idea.
Speaker 4 (30:23):
Yeah, no, definitely not. No.
Speaker 5 (30:24):
I think it's just sort of get it to start
to develop my education in that space, and yeah, figure
it out, so hopefully I will. Yeah, just give it
a shot, because.
Speaker 2 (30:34):
It sounds like you're on the right track though, so
that is very special. Talk to me a little bit
more about your debt. So you've said that you have
a house. Is that the only debt that you have?
Speaker 4 (30:43):
Yeah, we only have a house.
Speaker 5 (30:45):
So we have had credit cards in the past and
a car loan in the past and all that sort of.
Speaker 2 (30:51):
Thing, which but you've paid them all off, paid them off.
Speaker 4 (30:54):
Yes, never want to get a credit card again. It
kills me. Yeah, No, We've just got our home.
Speaker 5 (31:00):
We did refinance last year and we ended up paying
out our car loan, like so adding it to our homelands.
Our homelan's a bit higher than like what it used
to be, but it was a better interest rate and
we just sort of thought the one payment.
Speaker 2 (31:12):
One hundred percent. Nope, I agree, and also like the
interest rate on your car and payment would have gone
down significantly. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (31:19):
Yeah, it was a nightmare.
Speaker 5 (31:20):
And we had bought the car on finance, Like I
think it just got to the point where I don't
know if I'd do the same thing now.
Speaker 4 (31:26):
But we had been driving really old, crappy cars.
Speaker 5 (31:28):
I would always be breaking and I had a little
tiny binger with the kids one day and I just
was like, no, I want a new, safer car like
and so you know, I just didn't really even think
about it as when I bought it, and you had
to get a car loan because we didn't have the money,
but looking back now, like as expensive as it was, like,
I'm so glad that we did it. It's reliable. We've
had no car troubles ever since. So it's a hard
(31:52):
one where you know, I'd get like carlons and debt
come sometimes can be not good, but also at the
same time, it got us to a better.
Speaker 2 (31:58):
Place one hundred percent. And like I was doing the
maps the other day for a friend of mine who
doesn't have the cash to purchase a car, and I
was like, actually, I've just looked at all your budget
or your finance, Like as much as like a car
loan doesn't sound sexy, it's actually the best option for you,
like you know, shop around, find the best rate, and
organize it. I think that the problem is when we
(32:18):
don't think through these decisions, and it's like you just
automatically get a car loan because you go, well, that's
how things should be, when in reality you maybe didn't
need a new car, or you know, it's impacting your
ability to generate wealth or put food on the table
or live life the way you want to. I think
I'm more about questioning every single decision to make sure
it's the right one for your situation. But it doesn't
(32:40):
mean don't do it. It just means, let's just be really
cautious going into these things because I'm sorry, I actually
do not live in d lulu Land. I'm quite aware
that most people can't afford to outright purchase brand new cars,
but I do want them to be questioning why they
think they need a new car, because nine times out
of ten, it's not a situation like yours, where you're like,
I felt unsafe with my children and I was racking
(33:03):
up a lot of, you know, different expenses on fixing
cars that were just breaking consistently. That's a bit different
to like, oh my god, I keep looking at the
range Rover and everybody online has one, and I can
buy a secondhand one on finite, do you know what
I mean. That's a different story.
Speaker 4 (33:18):
Yeah, And I think for us it got.
Speaker 5 (33:20):
To the point where we were both dressed driving really
old cars, like three thousand dollar cars, and they just
kept breaking. And by the time we did all the
calculations of how many repairs we've done over a twelve
month period, it was similar to the loan repayment, and
it was like, all right, I'd rather just pray for
the depreciation and the interest. Then yeah, keep repairing a
car that's just not getting me to where I need
to go. So, yeah, we refinanced last year and yeah,
(33:41):
added that onto our home loan. But yeah, it's nice
now just having the one payment per month, which is nice.
Speaker 4 (33:46):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (33:46):
So what's your home loan currently sitting at.
Speaker 5 (33:49):
It's sitting at six hundred and thirty three thousand roughly.
Speaker 2 (33:53):
And you purchased I believe you said, six years ago.
Speaker 5 (33:57):
Yeah, six years ago, so we've got it for six
ninety six.
Speaker 4 (34:01):
So it's a little bit higher than we ideally would
like it at the moment.
Speaker 2 (34:04):
That actually doesn't matter at this point, you've got six
million years ahead of you because you're still a baby.
But yes, carry on you. Yeah.
Speaker 5 (34:11):
So we brought that in twenty nineteen and it's an
awesome home. We've been able to do a few renovations
and things like that to it. We paid off our
hex that two years.
Speaker 2 (34:21):
Ago, both of you, both of us. Yeah, oh my god.
So I was about to be like, do you have
any HEXTX? We always forget to talk about that, but
none there.
Speaker 4 (34:29):
No, that was just through work. I don't know how
I did.
Speaker 5 (34:32):
I did a job for a little while that had
some overtime, so I was really lucky that I didn't
put extra into it, but just it seemed to bring
my HEX down a lot in that sort of eighteen
month period that I was doing that job, and I
hadn't realized, And so we ended up getting a really.
Speaker 4 (34:47):
Big tax return because I hadn't realized that i'd paid
it off.
Speaker 2 (34:50):
Because that's a nice position to be in.
Speaker 5 (34:52):
Yeah, I've only just learned the mic of isn't like
a live stat of what your hex is. So yeah,
we got a really big time so we're able to
do a few things around the house. So we've redone
our laundry, we've redone the bathroom for the kids, and
we've done the floors. So the house is all sort
of where we wanted at the moment.
Speaker 4 (35:09):
Which is nice.
Speaker 2 (35:09):
And what do you think the house is worth now?
Speaker 5 (35:11):
It's worth about nine to eighty when we had a
value last year.
Speaker 2 (35:15):
Oh stop it. So you've got some really nice equity
sitting there should you ever decide to like buy an
investment property or even have some wiggle room, like oh,
that's when you said, oh, it's you know six ninety
six purchase price. I think you said six thirty three
current loan, Like a lot of people will be like,
oh after six years, but she's been sitting on that
and made nearly three hundred grand guys, So I think
(35:37):
that's a pretty good situation to be and if you're sold.
Speaker 5 (35:40):
Yeah, it was nice to have the car paid out
in Yeah, so look, it is what it is. We
also did purchase for one hundred, like almost one hundred percent.
We had a guaranteur from my husband's grandfather. He went guaranteur,
which was really kind and we're very lucky, I know,
how privileged you know we are.
Speaker 4 (35:59):
We had saved enough money to pay for the stamp duty.
Speaker 5 (36:02):
That was our sort of deposit money, just paid for
the stamp duty at right, So our loan was sort
of one hundred percent when we started. So yeah, it
was essentially six ninety six and we had that guaranteur
off in twelve months.
Speaker 2 (36:13):
So, oh my god, how good. Yeah.
Speaker 5 (36:15):
The property prices so we bought on election day in
twenty nineteen, and it was just the prices was sort
of a bit low and no one wanted.
Speaker 4 (36:22):
To buy this house. So we're like, cool, we will
and twelve months later it had shot up.
Speaker 2 (36:28):
That's so good, and then you would have got it
reevaluated and then you would have been able to release
the guaranteur and the bank will like see that is
literally my favorite thing ever, right because I own a
mortgage breaking business and talk about this all the time,
and people are always like, oh my god, Like if
I get a guaranteur, I'm impacting them for life. And
it does feel like this, and it is a big thing. Like,
don't get me wrong, we're putting a caveat over someone
(36:49):
else's home. That says if money dires doesn't pay her loan,
this person will be chased up for it. So it
is a significant commitment in saying that. That doesn't mean
that they're going to be on it for the thirty
years that you signed for. Like you can literally get
out of it within the first twelve months if property
prices change or if you know you were able to
(37:10):
smash down a bit of the loan and release that.
Like for a lot of people, having a guarante or
gets them into the market sooner. And like, if you'd
had to save your whole house deposit, especially with two kids,
I'm pretty sure it would have taken you more than
six years. For the average Australian it takes eleven years
to save their whole home deposit. That's a twenty percent deposit.
(37:33):
So sorry you're telling me that because his grandpa decided
to go yep, I will absolutely help you.
Speaker 4 (37:39):
Guys.
Speaker 2 (37:39):
You were able to build essentially three hundred thousand dollars
worth of wealth to sit there and put you in
a way better position. Oh my god, one thousand percent.
I want to be able to do the same for
my kids.
Speaker 5 (37:48):
Yeah, we're so grateful, and it meant that we got
to have some really good conversations about money too. You know,
we committed that we would be paying extra on the
mortgage because.
Speaker 4 (37:57):
At the time we were saving and paying rent.
Speaker 5 (38:00):
So we just agreed that we'd keep paying that total
amount onto the mortgage, which was about fifteen hundred dollars
more than the mortgage of payment at the time.
Speaker 4 (38:07):
So yeah, we were able to do that. And because
we were doing that, we had that habit we have
always paid quite a lot more.
Speaker 5 (38:13):
So I think at the moment it's still roughly around
fifteen hundred more a month that we're paying off our mortgage.
And so when the interest rates went up. Yes, we
definitely felt that we didn't have as much sort of
redraw sitting there, for example, like we didn't have to
shift our expenses too much.
Speaker 2 (38:28):
So yeah, yes, love love love love. So the other
thing I wanted to ask because I feel like I
don't know, I just I'm questioning everything about your story.
You came and you're like, oh, probably a C plus
or a B minus and I'm just like pix girls delusional.
But okay, so tell me a bit more because I reckon,
you've got some pretty good money habits. What do you
(38:49):
think is your best money habit?
Speaker 5 (38:51):
I think it's just been able to like if I
get something in my head, I can just do it
so like I set myself for god last year that
I was going to buy any lunch or coffee up
for example, when I was working, because I started calculating
like how much money I was spending on lunch at
work and to coffee, and I was like, girl, what
are you doing? So when I put my mind to something,
(39:12):
I can really just knuckle down and do it. Like
it doesn't feel like I guess at chore. I've always
ever since I guess, you know, been eighteen and we
got our first rent tool back then, and I think
our rent back then was two ninety five a week
and we had about twelve hundred a fortnight coming in,
so you know, it was always a sort of relatively big.
Speaker 4 (39:34):
Portion about income.
Speaker 5 (39:36):
And I've always just paid the rent and the bills
and everything as soon as we get paid, pay every bill,
pay all the rent, and then it's sort of like
what are we left with, so that you know, I'm
never behind on those essential things like you know, a
roof of your head and electricity and water and that
sort of thing.
Speaker 4 (39:52):
So I think sort of.
Speaker 5 (39:53):
Like my best money have it easier, probably like when
I need to, we can sort of knuckle down and
just get on with it and real prioritizing those major
sort of bills and things like that, and then you.
Speaker 4 (40:04):
Know, I guess life and FuMB will come later.
Speaker 5 (40:06):
But now I'm in a spot where we can kind
of prioritize both pay the mortgage, pay the bills, but
then also have some fun money and that we.
Speaker 4 (40:13):
Don't have to have any pressure or anything on.
Speaker 2 (40:15):
So yeah, balance, see, you're already working towards it, and
I feel like that is one of the most healthiest
money habits. Ever, it's not like every week I sit
down and you know, do ABCD. It's like I've managed
to find a balance between what works and what needs
to happen and obsessed on the flip side, I mean,
you better be a good bad money habit because you said, oh,
(40:38):
it might be like a C plus, Like, I'll tell
you about it. What's your worst money habit? Come on,
it's got to be good. I feel like the chemistry
between you and I is about to tell me that
your bad money habit is probably something I do. So
tell me, Oh, I.
Speaker 4 (40:53):
Love to shop.
Speaker 5 (40:54):
I'm very I could be very impulsive, Like I can
be so planned and you know, organized and and it's
awesome and then next minute I'm like, yeah, I want
to go get that new outfit, or I'm going to
the new.
Speaker 2 (41:05):
Mecca or where are we shopping Mecca.
Speaker 4 (41:09):
Seed Country Road Dish.
Speaker 2 (41:11):
Yeah, we could go shopping together. We'd have a great time,
and I feel like we'd enable each other because do
you know what I would do. I'd be like, oh, babe,
I mean those pants are white. That's a staple, that's
an investment. Like if you need me to be the
bad friend, I can be like, I'm not going to
talk you out of a cute purchase.
Speaker 4 (41:28):
My friends are too sensible, So yeah, I definitely need that. Yeah.
Speaker 5 (41:34):
So I think my bad money habit is I can
just be that bit impulsive and I'll put money aside
for something that is like a genuine thing I'm putting
aside for, Like I've started going to getting a bit
of a Christmas fund and then I'm like, yeah, but
there is a sale. Maybe we'll just take a little
bit of money from that, and like I need to
seriously work about that.
Speaker 4 (41:53):
Yeah. So I think just that more impulsive spending side of.
Speaker 2 (41:57):
Things, But that goes hand in hand with ADHD. I'm
so sorry. We are suckers for instant gratification. Like if
it is shiny, we are basically bower birds. And I
think the best thing we can do is consistently talk
about that and go, oh, I'm really bad at this
or I'm you know, really struggling with this, so that
we can try different strategies, because a strategy that works
(42:18):
for me might not work for you, and you can
kind of like trial and error and work out what works.
But one of the best things I think you can
do is go back through your finances and get a highlighter.
It's going to be really boring and it's also really confronting,
so you might need a little bit of like a
glass of wine or something to do this. But go
back and just like highlight all of the purchases that
you think were pretty impulsive, and then I want you
(42:40):
to write down how you feel about them now because
I can guarantee, like, don't get me wrong, I'm a
level for it, Mecca, Like you can't tell me like
anything basically, like I know better. But what I also
know is that going through and understanding how those things
actually don't spark that much joy anymore. Yeah, Like, and
(43:01):
it's the bigger purchases where I've gone, all right, well
I really do you know. Let's pretend it's a makeup product,
And right now I'm looking at a Charlotte till Ree
bronzer and I've got it saved in my Mecca cut
on the app and I have for a while. But
I also know I've got a bronzer at home, So
I'm trying to be a responsible adult and be like
I don't need that, right, I don't, but like I
keep looking at it and have you said how beautiful
the packaging is. Like that gets me as well. So
(43:23):
I just know, one I'm not going to go into Mecca,
but two, I'm going to keep thinking about this and
then once I've run out of something else, I'm going
to give myself that as kind of a reward. And
once that happens, I just know I'm going to enjoy
it a little bit more. Like if it was impulsive, yeah,
I'm going to use it, but like if I feel
like I have earned it, and I know that we're
(43:45):
not saying, oh yeah, you worked so hard for that bronzer,
so lame. But if I feel like I have delayed
that purchase as much as possible, and then I decided
I still really want it. It sits on my bathroom counter,
and when I use it feels better Like it just does.
So like, how do we get you to a point
where you're like, impulsive shopping is actually not as good
as I thought it was. I get this really high
(44:06):
dopamine hit at the very start, then I don't give
a shit. So what am I going to do? Because
I can almost guarantee if I go through your wardrobe
there's probably heaps of stuff I want. But also stuff
that you've forgotten about, and also stuff that you're like, oh, yeah,
I really liked that when I was in store, and
I just haven't worn it. Like it's confronting and it's terrible,
but like that's just who we are, so we just
(44:26):
need to be honest about that.
Speaker 4 (44:28):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (44:28):
I think it's been more mindful sort of probably in
my spending and what I do want to spend things
on is probably my next thing to be working on.
Speaker 2 (44:35):
And that's not bad. I think. My first tip and
if you've read my book, you already know it. It's
put twenty four hours between you and you're spending. And
I say that because you know a week would be better,
but like I don't have the patience for a week. Yeah,
Like I just need to tell myself, Victoria, if you
still really want it, you can have it tomorrow. And
most of the time, because I have ADHD, I already
forgot what it was.
Speaker 5 (44:55):
Yeah, yeah, I'm exactly the same. And yeah, we've been
applying that sort of that bit to our just overall
household budget as well, because you know, you decide, oh,
there's a furniture sale, or we should buy any coffee
table or something. If I don't need a coffee table walk.
Speaker 4 (45:08):
Out of the store.
Speaker 2 (45:10):
It's so rough, isn't it. I totally get that, but
I also don't think that that drags your money score
down to a C plus, Like if I do a
very quick recap, I'm sorry, but you felt pregnant while
in year twelve, got kicked out of school, finished high
school at TAFE, went on to have a second baby
at twenty, and you were at UNI. You did UNI
(45:31):
in a shorter period of time than most people would do.
How I don't know, because I couldn't even balance my
work life balance and I didn't have kids at UNI.
But you popped off. Then you've built your career, have
an incredible job. Both you and your husband own over
six figures, like and be real, that's just going to
keep increasing over time because your university educated. And like
you were saying before, look, I work for state government.
(45:53):
I know there are so many steps ahead of you
in that space, like there's just so much opportunity. Same
with project management for your partner. Yes, he's on a
really good innings of like what one eighty five now,
but like you and I both know that just goes
up from there. Like the more experience they get, the
more money comes in in that space. So like the
trajectory is looking incredible. You've got a really solid mortgage.
(46:14):
You've made some really good decisions when it comes to money.
Sorry you said I had a car loan. You know
we don't have that anymore. It's kind of rolled into
the mortgage. We've had credit cards, but we've paid them
all off. Sorry, you're making really good money decisions, like
really good, and I'm pretty sure your kids are like, oh,
mom and dad, we're really proud of them. Like sorry,
you're putting a roof over your kids' heads. And most
(46:35):
thirty year olds right now still haven't saved for their
first home deposits. And that's not throwing shade, that's just going, hey,
I don't think you realize how much you've achieved because
you've been in survival mode for so long, Like you
probably haven't reflected and been like, oh well actually, because
like let's go back to the mother's group conversation. You're
comparing yourself to people who are probably so far ahead
(46:55):
of you and also have a ten and a twelve
year old because like school mom, I'm assuming that's where
the comparison comes from girl. They're in their forties.
Speaker 4 (47:04):
Yeah, they're all in their forties, late forties, yeah, mich to.
Speaker 2 (47:06):
Late forties, yeah exactly. And we're comparing ourselves to that,
Like you're thirty, they're looking at you, going, how has
she got her shit together so well? And on the
flip side, you're comparing yourself to your friends that were
out clubbing while you were at home looking after your kids.
And there's no shade on either side. But they've been
enjoying their twenties. And don't get me wrong, I would
(47:27):
feel like I was missing out a little bit too.
And I'm not disregarding what you've been through, but like
it's kind of like they've probably only just started knuckling
down now. So if you compare to them, that's also
a terrible comparison. You're just running your own race. Put
some blinkers on, because you're killing it. I really like,
I'm not going to get you to redo your like
your money grade, but I just know you're sitting closer
(47:48):
to an A than you think you are. But you
keep finding reasons to drag yourself down and go, well,
we're not investing, well, we don't own an investment property. Well,
we just don't have a lot of direction. Good find
that's so fun, Like you're starting here and that's so exciting.
Like there's just so much going on. And I think
with some good planning, a good budget and cash flow
(48:09):
system so that everything flows through, you'll be able to
identify what you can invest, what you can save, what
life looks like in the future. Then we can talk
about investing and getting ahead. Like I'm just so excited.
Speaker 4 (48:20):
For you, Thank you, thank you.
Speaker 2 (48:22):
This is just this is such a good money story.
Like I just feel like you're right. Your money journey
is about resilience, learning and creating the future that you
only once dreamed of. Like, if I go back to baby,
you you're what's seventeen.
Speaker 4 (48:35):
Yeah, seventeen when I found out.
Speaker 2 (48:36):
You found out when you were pregnant. Hey, babe, you're
married to the man that you fell pregnant to. You
are deeply in love. You've been together for thirteen years.
You own a house, you've got cars together, your kids
are at school. Your first daughter, Oh my god, she's
just gotten into high school. That's crazy. Did you think
it would work out like this?
Speaker 4 (48:53):
Yeah? I know.
Speaker 5 (48:55):
When you put it like that, I'm like, Okay, I've
actually done probably better than I'm giving myself credit for,
because this is everything that I did want back then.
And yeah, it is a bit crazy that I, you know,
set ourselves to this sort of goal and this trajectory
and we have got here, And yeah, it is probably
nice to be able to go, you know, even have
a conversation like this and be like reflecting back that, Okay,
(49:17):
I actually have coup a lot of a and have
achieved a lot exactly.
Speaker 2 (49:21):
And then also, sorry, you're thirty and you're on six figures,
like crazy, actually crazy to think that you did this yourself,
Like nobody else did this. You did this, and that's incredible.
So like straight a for me, Yes, we can work
on investing. Yes we can work on heaps of stuff,
but not only do we have time, we actually have
the budget. Like there's so much flexibility in your cash
(49:42):
flow that we could ebb and flow with and work
out what that looks like that the potential isn't just
like Okay, well, one of the things we need to
do is work on increasing your income so that we
can achieve the lifestyle you want. We don't have to
do that, Like you're ahead of the game. I'm so
excited and I'm so sad that we're running out of time.
Thank you, Thank you money Darist. It has been an
(50:03):
absolute pleasure having a chat with you today. I feel
very grateful that we've been able to uncover a little
bit more about your money story, learn about you. I
feel like this is a very special money story, and
I'm hoping that there are a few women in our
community who resonate with it as well and go, oh
my god, you're right, I am killing it and comparing
myself to the wrong types of people or the wrong standards.
(50:25):
But I really really appreciate that you've shared your story,
and I just know that our community is going to
be as grateful as I am.
Speaker 4 (50:30):
Thank you so much. Thanks for having me on here.
Speaker 6 (50:38):
Di If I shared or She's on the Money is
general in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances.
She's on the Money it exists purely for educational purposes
and should not be relied upon to make an investment
or financial decision. If you do choose to buy a
financial product, read the PDS TMD and obtain appropriate financial.
Speaker 2 (50:57):
Advice tailored towards your needs.
Speaker 6 (51:00):
Torria, Divine and sheese on the money are authorized representatives
of money sherper P T y L t D A
b N three two one six four nine two seven
seven zero eight a F s L four five one
two eight nine
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