June 12, 2025 • 41 mins
This week, we’re talking about one of the biggest money traps out there: car finance. It seems simple... buy the car, pay it off... but what if the way you’re financing it is quietly costing you thousands? From mortgage refinancing to dealership loans, Victoria breaks down the smart ways (and not-so-smart ones) to fund your next car, and the red flags to look out for before you sign anything. And we've got a heated child support DM that had us all fuming. When a co-parent uses child support as ammo against their ex, what’s fair game, and what crosses the line? We get deep into emotional manipulation, kids' financial literacy, and how to protect your peace (and your children’s) when the other parent is being... not so financially kind. Plus, it's Friday so there's all the unhinged money chats you know and love.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello, my name's Santasha Nabananga Bamblet. I'm a proud or
the Order Kerni Whaltbury and a waddery woman. And before
we get started on She's on the Money podcast, I
would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land
of which this podcast is recorded on a wondery country,
acknowledging the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming
(00:22):
through as this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing
and the storytelling of you to make a difference for
today and lasting impact for tomorrow.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
Let's get into it.
Speaker 3 (00:34):
She's on the Money. She's on the Money.
Speaker 4 (00:57):
Hello, and welcome to She's on the Money. The podcast
makes personal finance fun, especially on Fridays. It's our favorite
day of the week because we get the team together
and we get to celebrate you, our beautiful She's on
the Money community, Miss Jessicarci, She's going to be sharing
our favorite money ins. Miss beck Say It is going
to be sharing her broke tips, and we're going to
be helping to answer a money dilemma, which is all
(01:18):
about finance options for a new car and something that
you slid into Our dms about this week a child
support drama with your ex. I always find those so juicy.
Oh like it just it blows my mind how messy
they can get.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
It just makes me angry.
Speaker 5 (01:35):
Yess can say, I'm already kind of boiling.
Speaker 4 (01:40):
Can we not just put our stuff aside and care
about this kid genuinely?
Speaker 2 (01:44):
Anyway? Before we get their guys, how were your weeks?
Speaker 6 (01:48):
You go, oh, long weekend? What can we say? It's
just sonics they being like a three day weekend.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
I just love extra time off, isn't it so?
Speaker 6 (01:56):
And it's crazy how like you'd think an extra day
wouldn't make that much difference, but it does.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
It feels like a week somehow, you know what I mean.
It's crazy. So I'm feeling good. That's really nice.
Speaker 5 (02:06):
You had to work in Brisbane. I'm like, I can't
talk about this because I'm already gotting. I just I
feel like an anger or something like it, like because
there's no public holiday in Brisbane, and I was like, oh,
I well, for context for everyone, I covered someone's shift
in Brisbane and so I was like, cool, whatever, And
(02:27):
then I realized that everyone at home has a public holiday.
Speaker 2 (02:29):
No, no, no, yeah, I came.
Speaker 6 (02:35):
Great.
Speaker 4 (02:36):
No, sorry, your contract is a Victorian contract. In fact,
you probably should be getting public holiday rates.
Speaker 6 (02:43):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (02:44):
Gives them the option to be like, you can either
pay me a public holiday rates, you can give me
a which you give me your emails, I will send
youselfing sassy for you Enjuel.
Speaker 5 (02:55):
Okay, well that makes me feel better, but otherwise, you know,
it was really it was actually a fine weekend. My
girlfriend was in Queensland the same time that I had
to work in Queensland, and so like it worked out
really well. That's actually so cute. I still do have phomo.
I have such a sickening fomo. But anyway, what can
you do.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
You just gotta live with it. What about you?
Speaker 6 (03:15):
Fee?
Speaker 2 (03:15):
How'd you we live?
Speaker 1 (03:16):
Love? Laugh?
Speaker 4 (03:16):
Honestly, just having more time to chill out. I feel
like we've been trying so hard to get ahead on
like content and work that I was just like, I'm
excited to have an additional day off. Although I'm not
used to saying King's Birthday.
Speaker 2 (03:29):
Like it just it doesn't roll off the tongue.
Speaker 4 (03:32):
No Queen's birthday, And I mean that makes sense because
she was the queene for so long. King's birthday.
Speaker 2 (03:37):
It just doesn't. She feels fake. Yes makes yeah, it's.
Speaker 4 (03:42):
A woman, I say, really, I want another public holidays
celebrating women anyway, Would you guys like a five star
review because I've got a good one.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
Yes, I've got a really good one. So this one
is from Mike Loud's longtime listener soon to be mother.
Speaker 4 (03:59):
I've been listening to She's on the Money since COVID
and have found it very interesting and easy to listen to.
My wife and I are expecting our first daughter to
be born in the coming months after a long IVF journey.
Listening to this has been a great way for me
to get a deeper appreciation and understanding of the challenges
and mindsets a lot of women have. I really hope
you keep producing this show as my daughter grows older,
(04:21):
so that she can learn from you as well.
Speaker 7 (04:23):
Oh my, so cute, you love the congratulations from a
dads so lovely, literally so wholesome, which as well, I
was like, this is the one I'm going to be
putting on this show.
Speaker 6 (04:36):
You men commenting and stuff in the Facebook group and
stuff lately, and they always preface it I find by saying, oh,
like I know that I'm maybe not your normal target demographic, and.
Speaker 4 (04:44):
You are anyone who resonates without content or welcome here, absolutely.
Speaker 2 (04:47):
And I feel like it's exactly what Mike was saying.
Speaker 6 (04:50):
It gives you an appreciation as well for like the
female perspective that I feel a lot of men lack
or don't.
Speaker 2 (04:55):
Care on hundred percent like you. Just you also don't
know what you don't know.
Speaker 4 (05:00):
You're often like, oh, I didn't know that was an issue,
and that's like totally fine. But the idea that you're
consuming content in order to get ahead of that, that's
low key very sexy.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
Yes see you Yeah, but my, oh my god, that's
so good. Then, thank you so much for listening. I
love it all right. You know what else?
Speaker 4 (05:16):
I love hearing about our community's money wins, Jessica Ricci.
Every single week you do a little lack rally up
of what the community has been loving or what have
you got for us this week?
Speaker 6 (05:26):
All right, firstly, we're starting off with just a good,
solid one from Caroline who said she stayed within her
budget this week, which means she's allocated everything correctly.
Speaker 4 (05:34):
Oh my god, but like good joy in this economy,
I swear everyone I'm talking to is like, I'm trying
so hard to budget, but every week I blow it,
or I can't get it right, or it's really frustrating.
Speaker 2 (05:47):
I'm giving up, like to get it right to flex.
Speaker 6 (05:50):
Chef's kiss, Well done, Caroline. Next, I've got a money
win from l who said money win. We went through
all of our expenses in income for a year, then
made an achievable by aligned.
Speaker 2 (06:00):
With our values.
Speaker 6 (06:01):
This is the first month that I've been on maternity
leave and we haven't dipped into our savings.
Speaker 2 (06:05):
How good. I'm just really feeling everyone's staying in budget.
Speaker 3 (06:09):
This week.
Speaker 6 (06:10):
I didn't even realize that I had two back to
back nace. I've got a money win from Sophie, who
said money win. I realized I had a few nicer
brand dresses at home that I've only worn once, so
I decided to list them on the vault to rent
them out instead of having them just sitting in my
closet and collecting dunst. I've rented out one specific dress
eight times, and I've tripled the money that I spent
(06:30):
on buying the dress.
Speaker 2 (06:32):
How good is that?
Speaker 4 (06:33):
I never know how like rentable my dresses are because
I go, is this just something I like?
Speaker 2 (06:39):
Yeah? Or is this like universally liked? But you're good
at this, Jess.
Speaker 4 (06:42):
I swear you're like, oh, that's a dress I really
want to buy, and you like snoop the Instagram to
see how many girls are wearing it.
Speaker 2 (06:48):
You've made a lot of money.
Speaker 6 (06:50):
I wish I was better at knowing what was trendy,
because I feel like it is if you can pick
the right dress.
Speaker 2 (06:55):
I'm too millennial.
Speaker 6 (06:56):
Yeah, I think I made it as well. But you
might as well just put what you've got up there.
True happens because it's true. It doesn't cost a list,
doesn't it. No, it's all free, so you might just
sit there and every now and again I get an
email that says someone's rented address, and I'm like, oh,
so money exactly? All right, well done, Sophie. Next, I've
got a money in from Shannon who said she got
a jumper that was originally one hundred and seventy dollars
(07:16):
for ten bucks at the Inner Pali warehouse sale last weekend.
Speaker 2 (07:20):
Yes, love a warehouse sale.
Speaker 5 (07:21):
Win.
Speaker 4 (07:22):
That's you are like the warehouse sale queen. You've like
called me before to be like, hey, there's a warehouse sale.
Can I please go during work hours because otherwise I'll
have to line up on a Saturday like a plan.
Speaker 2 (07:31):
But I don't want to do that. And I'll be like, yes, Queen,
go go. It's doing a greater good. We love a
supportive boss, and we love a ware house sale as well.
Very well done for Shannon. Next, a lot of money
lost from Amma.
Speaker 6 (07:42):
And I did feel this in my soul because she
said she had to buy milk and cheese and bread
today and there went twenty dollars.
Speaker 4 (07:48):
What what is it like?
Speaker 6 (07:50):
Yes, every time I check out, I look at what
I've got. I've started playing this game, Like how much
do I think it's gonna cost?
Speaker 2 (07:56):
I wouldn't recommend it. He's always given me. But it
is crazy. You'll be like, oh, there's five things there
and it's like ninety dollars.
Speaker 6 (08:05):
Yes.
Speaker 4 (08:05):
I actually nearly vomited the other week when I was
leaving the supermarket. Again, it's super privileged, but I had
two bags of groceries and it was kind of like
a last minute decision to go to the supermarket.
Speaker 2 (08:17):
We had all of our Maley spoons and stuff.
Speaker 4 (08:19):
But I was like, oh, we're out of like bread,
and like I need some essentials and bloody olive oil
and all of that stuff that I'm like, oh, we
nearly out. I may as well just do a shop.
And if you're a mum, you know that, like it's
like on the front of your mind. If you're not
with your baby, going to the supermarket is easier. So
I was like, oh, oh, just do like an essentials shop.
(08:39):
Two bags, not even full bags from coals.
Speaker 2 (08:42):
I'm walking out. I'm like, geez, Louise, that was one
hundred and seventy dollars. What are you talking about?
Speaker 4 (08:49):
And I was like low key a bit embarrassed as
I was checking out, and I'm thinking, no, I do
need all of these things. And it was like genuine
pantry staples. So I've got butter, I've got you know,
olive oil. I bought some well samic. I had to
buy some new white vinegar. Obviously that's not expensive, but like,
all these things just kind of added up and I
was like what And dishwasher tablets I had to buy
(09:10):
the same transaction.
Speaker 2 (09:12):
Those are so expensive, I know, and.
Speaker 4 (09:14):
I always make sure that when you're buying things like
dishwasher tablets, or if you buy like laundry pods or whatever,
you're not just like picking the cheapest one on the rack.
You're actually looking at how much per pod is, because
when they're on sale, I'm always making sure that, like
each of my dishwasher tablets are like twenty or twenty
five cents because it's so easy to get away.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
You're like, oh, that one's half priced. But then it's
like the.
Speaker 4 (09:37):
Omo brand or whatever it is, and it's like double
what it normally is. So maybe that's a broke tip.
Look at the unit price instead of the overall price.
Speaker 2 (09:46):
This is very, very true.
Speaker 4 (09:48):
You do have astronomically expensive, very privileged that like that
didn't financially cripple me. But I was thinking, I am
so lucky. At the same time, it's being so frustrated.
Speaker 2 (09:58):
It is really hard out there. I feel you in
my soul. Amber.
Speaker 6 (10:01):
Last of this week, I've got a money in from
Meghan who said Facebook Marketplace money win. I've been wanting
to get a daisy dog bed for my friend Cheese,
but the one I wanted is normally two hundred and
eighty nine dollars. My goodness founded a marketplace brand new
for one hundred and twenty mandatory pet tax included.
Speaker 2 (10:15):
And just take a look at that face.
Speaker 4 (10:17):
Oh my goodness, naughty baby, like their little snoots kill
me like, and the sounds that they make.
Speaker 2 (10:28):
I'm like, this can't be normal, adorable friendly.
Speaker 4 (10:31):
She's called Archie and he like he just sounds like
a little piggy and when he's excited, like he does
the piggy dead like the best cute Tell me yes,
broke tips, what if you got?
Speaker 2 (10:43):
Okay?
Speaker 5 (10:43):
So this first one comes from Brook and I have
mentioned something similar before, but I don't think I mentioned
this particular app. So Brook says, download receipt Jar app
and all you have to do is photograph and upload
receipts of purchases you have made, and you accumulate points
which you can cash out into like bouches for woolies,
et cetera.
Speaker 2 (11:01):
So I think it's fantastic.
Speaker 5 (11:03):
And it's like, because we got it, we got to
buy things to stay alive, and it's like you may
as well get some bloody benefits out of that. I
always wonder what you're doing with the receipt like why,
what's the benefit that I always think that they're doing
something dodgy with them, which I'm asuming they're not.
Speaker 2 (11:17):
Lots people use recedure. I'm not shooting on them, but
people use it for business or whatever. But oh dat
a collection?
Speaker 4 (11:24):
Yeah, and understanding people's budgets spending habits like it's interesting,
But like, I don't know, are you guys asking for
receipts for things that you can't claim on tax? Because
like if they're like, do you want a receipt with that,
I'm immediately like unless I can claim it on tax.
Speaker 2 (11:41):
Absolutely not shave the paper, save a tree, save a tree. Absolutely.
I agree.
Speaker 5 (11:45):
Well, I guess maybe it would make more sense if,
you know, back in the day when you flip it
over and it'd be like fifty dollars Domino's pizza Pizza.
Speaker 4 (11:54):
I feel like in this economy, we deserve our receipts
that are literally so long and so expensive to have,
like free KFC.
Speaker 2 (12:00):
On the other side, Yes, that's what should happen. Do
they sort of fuel vouchers on there? I don't believe.
So that's ridiculous. It's illegal. That's illegal. I mean it
sounds like it should be.
Speaker 5 (12:11):
And then this next one comes from Shani who says
if you go to H and M. They have a
recycling clothes initiative where you can take in a bag
of old clothes to donate and they can reuse that
as like textiles and whatever else they want to do
with it. They will give you a fifteen percent off
H and M voucher. That's good, how good recycle.
Speaker 4 (12:31):
I'm so salty on that program because like I have
done a deep dive on TikTok and I'm so sorry
to absolutely blow this, but they don't reuse it, and
I think that that is a green washing scandal if
ever I saw one.
Speaker 3 (12:44):
What does it mean?
Speaker 2 (12:45):
Was it coming?
Speaker 4 (12:45):
We'll give you a discount to buy more fast fashion
and we're actually just going to donate it to charity
later and essentially drop it into lack a charity bin.
Which I'm not saying that donating to charity is bad,
but when they're doing it under different preten guys different Yeah,
So look at up, have a look, make your own decisions.
But I mean, if you're going to buy from you
(13:07):
know H and M already and you wanted a cheeky
little discount and you don't mind like pop off queen,
but as well more educated I am the more sinister.
Speaker 2 (13:16):
I am so.
Speaker 6 (13:18):
Sorry.
Speaker 2 (13:19):
That's so lovely. I'm glad you're looking into these things.
Green washing one out of ten. Greenwashing. That's like virtue signaling.
Speaker 4 (13:25):
Yeah, basically, yeah, okay, it's where you make yourself sound super.
Speaker 2 (13:29):
Ethical or you do something so that you look a
certain way.
Speaker 4 (13:32):
Yeah, and like, don't get me wrong, we're in the
middle of cozy libs, and you know, we can't all
afford to go and buy super ethical outfits. Like, no
shame on anyone shopping at like fast fashion outlets. I
don't mind at all. I just think we should be
so much more conscious with our purchasing. But for a
fast fashion brand to be like, hey, we drop new
stock in our stores literally a number of times per week.
(13:55):
But also here we've got this like recycling program and
you can bring in your old clothes and buying new ones.
It's just making them look like they're doing the right
thing when in reality, like why do they produce so
many clothes? Why don't we just producing consistent basics or
things that actually last H and M yes, yes, yes, yes.
Speaker 2 (14:14):
Anyway, I'm just a bit enough on that.
Speaker 4 (14:16):
We did a whole episode ages ago on Fast fashion,
which we might link in the show notes. Actually, if
you're interested in that, but it's a good it annoys me.
Sorry then no, no, no, don't be sorry. And this
next one, I don't want to be that person, but
yes you do. I'm going to and it's honestly, I'm
gonna sound like a broken record. So me and Jess,
(14:36):
my partner, are booked like a trip to Singapore, which
is very exciting. Sorry, no, not Singapore, Thailand.
Speaker 2 (14:42):
I'm so sorry.
Speaker 5 (14:43):
I keep thinking Singapore for some reason, but it's not
anywhere near Singapore, right, No, no, no, it's a different country.
Well I have that in my head, so I hope
it to land somewhere else. And so this is just
a complete side notes, not at all relevant to my
broke tip. It's like I, for some reason, I can't
like because I I've never been a saver. I can't
save for a trip because I feel like if I've
(15:04):
finally gotten on top of saving, I've saved two thousand
dollars and then all of that, my whole that is
literally my whole life savings goes toward a trip, I'll
be devastated. And so I'm one of those people that
just like to book and then figure it out later.
So I don't haven't even paid for anything yet.
Speaker 2 (15:18):
But my broke tip is going to be this.
Speaker 5 (15:21):
If you're going away anywhere with anyone, it does seem
a little bit dog. You can tell them, you can
tell them what you're doing, but be like, can I
book it?
Speaker 2 (15:27):
Everyone pay me?
Speaker 5 (15:28):
I book it, and you do it through shot back.
I made fifty dollars on a go to and it
are low. Jesse told me at al it's the e
sim fourteen percent back on shot back. Try and book
everything for everyone and get them to pay you, and
then in your shot back it just accumulating all this wealth.
And if people are like, hey, the freak, you need
(15:48):
to give us some of that money, then you can
do that. But I would say you book it, you
get the money, you get the benefits on.
Speaker 2 (15:54):
The aiment for you doing the admin.
Speaker 4 (15:55):
Yeah, you're doing the advice just through and through free situation,
including buying things from office works for our office. Yes,
she adds her own shot back. I mean that is
a good idea because and I allow that so like
her fly By is her I'm like, you know what
pop off queen exactly? That probably don't do that at
your workplace without getting explicit consent from your boss because
(16:18):
that might be theft.
Speaker 2 (16:19):
True, but also if they don't have their own shot
back account, and then it's like.
Speaker 4 (16:22):
That's why you've got to ask, that's why you've got
true because like imagine if your boss found out, Oh,
like you know, and I don't see it is a
bad thing. But oh, Jess is getting like five percent
back of the purchases I'm making.
Speaker 2 (16:33):
All right, we might not see it my shot back.
Speaker 4 (16:36):
Yeah, but when it's with friends, no, sorry, sorry, that
rule doesn't yeh No, you.
Speaker 5 (16:39):
Get that for the for the admin. And you also
can get travel insurance on shot back and get trips
the actual flights.
Speaker 2 (16:44):
Through shot back.
Speaker 5 (16:45):
God, I just I feel like I'm going to make
so much more money as you should, queen, thank you,
like by by spending much much more money.
Speaker 4 (16:54):
But you've got to spend money to make money or
whatever they say. I'm on your team, thank you so much.
So anyway, that's that's what I'm saying.
Speaker 5 (17:00):
I think be the admin person in your group or
in your duo or in your singular and you could
just make a little bit of extra cash on.
Speaker 2 (17:09):
The money win.
Speaker 4 (17:10):
All right, Well, let's go to a really quick break
because on the flip side, we're going to be answering
your money dilemma, which is all about financing options if
you're purchasing a new car. And then something that I
think has annoyed everybody at this table, we've got a
message is slid into our DMS with talking about a
child support drama with your ex.
Speaker 6 (17:27):
So guys, don't go anywhere. Welcome back, everybody. Let's take
a listen to this week's money dilemma.
Speaker 2 (17:39):
Hi, there, have you got a money dilemma you just
can't solve. The She's on the Money team is here
to help.
Speaker 8 (17:45):
Every week we tackle your dilemmas, both big and small,
to answer your most burning money, career and life questions.
To get involved, simply head to our website and leave
us a short voice recording and you might just find
yourself on the show.
Speaker 2 (17:57):
Now, let's take a listen to this week's money dilemma.
Speaker 9 (18:02):
Hey, She's on the Money. I have got a question
for you. Where thinking about getting a new card towards
the end of the year, but I'm not too sure
how to go about it financially. We were considering refinancing
a house a very howcome money. But the problem is
we don't have any equity really in a house right now.
(18:23):
So I'm just wondering what other options are out there
for us. Is refinancing even possible with our equity or
should we look at other ways to finance the car?
Thank you.
Speaker 4 (18:36):
That's an interesting one because so many people believe that
to refinance you have to have equity in your property,
and it's just simply not true. So you can refinance
your mortgage, and a refinance is when you take your
current mortgage that you have with Bank A and go,
you know what, bank is no longer serving me. I
want to pick that up and take it over to
Bank B. It doesn't mean that you need equity, which
(18:58):
is essentially you know, value that's added up because Bank B,
if it's a good mortgage, they're going to go great.
And a lot of the reason you might refinance for
is to you know, obviously, I think you're assuming that
everybody refinances to release equity and that's not the case.
Sometimes you refinance so that you can get a different
loan structure, So you might go, I really want to
(19:20):
move to Bank B because right now I don't have
an offset account, and whatever savings I have coming in,
i'd really like offsetting the interest. Or I'm moving because
I want to lower interest rate, or I'm moving because
I just simply want a different bank this one's no
longer serving me, or I want a redraw. So you
don't have to have equity to refinance. So if we're
talking about cars, and I know that that's not necessarily
(19:41):
what everyone is doing, I'd say, always buy a car
in cash, never buy a brand new car, and always
take into consideration that that asset is not going to
increase in value. It's always going to decrease, unless you're
talking about buying like a vintage Porsche and it's an investment,
Like that's a different story. But most of us are
not buying vintage cars for investment purposes. We are buying
(20:02):
cars that can get us to and from work. Right,
So there's a lot of thoughts I have on cars
because I think that they are often one of the
worst investments, but at the same time, we need them.
Speaker 2 (20:12):
So you could go to a good broker, and you
should go to a good broker and be.
Speaker 4 (20:15):
Like, I don't think I have equity, but what can
I do to put myself in the best possible position,
because it's very naive of me to assume that everyone
can just save up to buy a car, Like car
loans are something that my business rights often. And does
that mean that I, you know, really promote you going
out getting a brand new car loan back?
Speaker 2 (20:33):
Absolutely not.
Speaker 4 (20:34):
But like I deal with moms and dads all the
time that are like, oh, my goodness, we're pregnant, we're
having another baby, and I need a car that fits
two car seats.
Speaker 2 (20:41):
Like I'm sorry, we're.
Speaker 4 (20:42):
In an economy where you don't have thirty k save
to be able to purchase that asset. But like, let's
make a smart decision. We're going to buy a car together.
We're going to go through this. Sometimes you might be
able to extend your mortgage out by thirty grand, and
you might go, oh, that's not a good idea, but
the interest rate on your mortgage might be much lower.
So the interest rate on your mortgage is going to
be under five percent, whereas asset finance often sits at about,
(21:05):
you know, eight to ten percent. So you're saving money
by doing that, and then we can aggressively pay off
that thirty thousand dollars above and beyond. So there's always
a strategy. So when it comes to purchasing a car, no,
you don't need equity. You actually just need a little
bit of strategy. There's also a lot of deals.
Speaker 2 (21:24):
Going around at the moment.
Speaker 4 (21:26):
So, as I said before, we're never buying brand new
because from my perspective, and this is I'm the daughter
of an old Like my dad used to be the
financial controller of car dealerships, so like he never let
me buy brand new cars. Like he was always like
terrible idea, absolutely not And to this day, this man
will not buy a brand new car.
Speaker 2 (21:43):
He will buy a demo model.
Speaker 6 (21:45):
Though.
Speaker 4 (21:45):
But if you're looking at a demo model of a
let's say you want to buy a Volkswagen Polo, you
want to go like because I feel like that's like
a little bit higher end. But like, you know, Keanda
gets whatever you want to purchase, right, you're going to
purchase a small car. Maybe we looking at a demo
and we're trying to get really good finance. Sometimes the
best finance doesn't actually come from a mortgage broker or
(22:08):
someone who writes tasset finance, but it might come from
the dealership and I have seen historically like one or
two percent finance on cars on their lots, So we're
just going to do our research. Finance at a car
dealership most of the time is not your best option.
In fact, it's probably going to be the worst option
because it's the most convenient rat. So, like a little
(22:28):
finance man has set up shop at the local Toyota
and he's like, great, Jess wants a new car.
Speaker 2 (22:33):
She wanders in, goes, can you get finance for me?
Speaker 8 (22:36):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (22:36):
I can.
Speaker 4 (22:36):
I can get you the best deal I can get you,
and it's not the best deal on the market. So
we're shopping around a little bit, but I think having
a look around. Like imagine if you could get demo
car one or two percent finance, drive away all of
your Red Joe's paid, Like, that's not a bad deal. Yeah,
we are making sure that we're making the right financial
decision as opposed to just a Oh I'm a bit
(22:58):
ashamed of this. I need to get a loan, and
you agree to the first loan that comes up. Na,
we're hustling that loan too. We're hustling everything as you should.
So do you guys have anything to add to that.
I think I just jumped in because I was like, oh,
you don't need to have equity to get.
Speaker 2 (23:12):
A car loan. There you go. It's not adding it
to anything. I just wanted to ask.
Speaker 5 (23:17):
It's probably really dumb question, but I've always wanted when
people say paying cash, do you mean physical cash?
Speaker 2 (23:21):
Is that what you're saying?
Speaker 4 (23:23):
You use your car, You could tap your debit card,
but you could, like you're saying, you know, go to
the ATM and get some fifties to hand, like make.
Speaker 2 (23:33):
Sure it's not tracked, like just fighting cash. Yeah, when
we say like buy cash, understood.
Speaker 4 (23:39):
Yeah, And that's all not Sorry, I reckon lots of
people were thinking that, to be honest, but I think
it's for me love a good car, but also we
need to be so aware of how that impacts our
long term financial goals. And I see a lot of people,
especially like you see it, especially during like cost of
living crisises, They're like, well, you know what, everything else
(24:00):
is hard, I deserve XYZ. And they often talk themselves
into an asset that is maybe a bit beyond their
financial capacity or a bit beyond because they just want
to feel special. You're just like life's really tough right now, Like, well,
you know, earlier this episode we're talking about groceries being
a struggle. You're like, well, whats and like so easily
we justify it to ourselves. What's an extra one hundred
(24:21):
bucks a month? Honestly, Like groceries are more than that.
You justify it, and then you have an asset that's
worth more decreases more like it just puts you in
a worse off position, often because you think this asset
is going to make you feel good. Oh, it's the
confidence boost I need for a week.
Speaker 6 (24:37):
It's just a car.
Speaker 2 (24:38):
It's just a car gets you from A to B. Yeah,
I drive my cars into They're like exactly as you should,
seriously as you should.
Speaker 4 (24:48):
All right, guys, would you like to hear the DM
that we got these wee absolutely, I think we've got
thoughts and opinions on this, all right, So the DM
we got this week high she's on the money.
Speaker 2 (24:59):
I have a money to lem.
Speaker 4 (25:00):
I really need help with my ex and I shared children,
and after a long period of him not contributing financially,
including to things like school, dental, and sports, I went
through child support collection to make sure the kids' needs
were being met. Since then, he started making comments directly
to our kids, like I can't give you pocket money
anymore because I have to pay child support and Mum
(25:23):
will have to pack all of your clothes. Now my
kids are preteens and they've started asking questions. I'm really torn.
I want to teach them financial literacy, but I also
want to protect their view of their dad. At the
same time, I don't want them believing that I'm the
reason they're missing out. How do I have age appropriate
conversations with them about this? And how do I talk
(25:43):
to their dad about the comments he's making.
Speaker 5 (25:48):
That sounds like the exact situation I would hate to
be in, because it's like awful. Yeah, like now you're
parenting everyone to have it that's gentle parent conversation with
an adult and be like, hey, don't say that.
Speaker 2 (26:07):
That is so dumb.
Speaker 3 (26:10):
You are so dumb.
Speaker 2 (26:12):
It's made me so angry, Like, oh my, I feel
first what I just want to say, I'm so sorry.
It's so manipulous that you live in this situation with
like like and you don't know that this is the thing.
This worth say to all my friends, is worth say
to everyone?
Speaker 5 (26:25):
Is like we meet someone all these things that you're like, oh,
you know, you've got to get to know someone before
you live together. You've got to get to know someone
if we have children with them. I totally understand that
you do. But by the time you learn that the
person you're living with actually doesn't cook and clean for themselves,
actually isn't an equal parent, Actually is not like meeting
you at your level when it comes like the mental load,
(26:48):
the emotional load, you don't realize until you're attached in
some way either emotionally, physically, literally, financially, whatever, And then
you get there and you're like, good to know this
person is just being so immature, Like first of all,
not first of all, because I've said a million things,
but the other thing too is that like did they
say how much they're paying in child support?
Speaker 2 (27:10):
No, I don't know what this person's paying in child support.
Speaker 4 (27:12):
It might be and it doesn't happen because if it's
child support, it doesn't matter actually court mandated, so it
would be based on their income, based on their children,
based on their children's needs. And we all know, having
I have a lot of single mum friends, we all
know it's never bloody enough like your child support.
Speaker 2 (27:29):
Payment is not going to be the majority of your income.
Speaker 4 (27:32):
It's not going to be enough to do dental and
sports and clothing them and feed it.
Speaker 2 (27:36):
I promise you hand on my heart. That is not
enough money, So sit down. Exactly.
Speaker 5 (27:42):
But even if, like if it was the other way
around and she was like, I've paid for all of
your basic needs and then you go and you do
have some money that is disposable income or whatever, whether
you do or you don't. I feel like if you
go out to the shops and your child is like, hey,
I'm really hungry, and then you're like, okay, well I'll
just let me just get you one of these, like,
(28:02):
you know, a milkshake or something.
Speaker 2 (28:04):
I don't know what kids eat or drink. Mine needs
a lot of berries.
Speaker 5 (28:07):
Imagine you're out and your child is hungry, and then
you're like, I've actually paid for your all.
Speaker 2 (28:12):
Of your basic needs. So you already paid my child.
Speaker 5 (28:16):
So yeah, no, yeah, I've paid for your school fees,
I've contributed to the rent.
Speaker 2 (28:22):
Fits so silly when you put it that way. No, exactly,
And that's your child.
Speaker 5 (28:26):
You both decide to have children, so your responsibilities as
a parent never dies, no matter what until you die.
Speaker 2 (28:34):
It doesn't matter if you've already paid for X, y Z.
You just have to do what you have to do.
Because you both decide to have children, you just keep
being a parent. I'm so sorry to this time.
Speaker 4 (28:44):
It makes it's so mad, and it like makes me
so mad, I think because I have the privilege of
being in the SESE on the mining community and seeing
so many single parents with all of these pressures. And
I think the thing that makes me the maddest is
when one parent is paying you know what they deem
to be a lot of child support, but they can't
(29:04):
seem to conceptualize that that actually does go to the
child rearing and it's also not enough, and they're like
throwing shade at the other parent, being like, well, of
course you can afford that, like you get child support
as though like they don't deserve it. I know, actually
blows my mind. Jess, what are your thoughts on this?
Speaker 6 (29:22):
Oh, I completely agree with everything you just said back,
and I'm not going to go on to be grand
because I feel like they need it for us, for us,
you cover it very much. Like I agree with everything
you said. Yeah, I'm really sorry that you're going through this.
This is emotionally manipulative. It's really really horrible. They're weaponizing
your children against you, and that really doesn't sit well
with me. I'm going to tackle it from a practical
(29:42):
standpoint and say I kind of have two thoughts on this.
Speaker 2 (29:46):
The first one is that I think there's.
Speaker 6 (29:48):
A lot of benefit to talking to your children like
their adults. That's something that my parents will really bigne
with me and my brother, obviously within the level of
being age appropriate. But the second thing that I would
say that kind of leans into that is children are
much more observant, I think than we remember a lot
of the time as adults. But even if you're not
(30:08):
talking to them about things, you would be amazed at
the nonverbal cues that they're picking up the things that
they're you know, reading between the lines from the conversations
they're having with you and your ex partner. And so
I think there, honestly is probably a lot of benefit,
particularly because these types of living situations can create a
bit of a sense of instability in just being honest
(30:28):
with them and you know, sitting them down and explaining
what is child support, where is that money going? Like
giving them a bit of an understanding. And again, we
don't know the ages of your kids. So you know,
if you're talking to one year old, you said kind
of preteen, oh okay, pteen, yeah, yeah, Like if you're
talking to a one year old, might not work.
Speaker 2 (30:43):
But if they're pretty yeah, Harvey is just.
Speaker 4 (30:45):
Like banging on the fridge nowadays, like where the blueberries at,
not comprehending it all.
Speaker 6 (30:50):
But if they're of that age, they are old enough
to be able to kind of understand these basic concepts
of economics, of shared responsibility, of kindness to people who are,
for better or worse, a part of your family. And
so I think being really frank in conversations with that
is beneficial. It also opens the door for them to
come to you with questions because I think when you
(31:12):
have two parents that are communicating maybe different things, and
it sounds like on our listener's side, you're trying to
protect their image of their dad. You're trying to make
it feel, you know, maintain that feeling of stability.
Speaker 4 (31:25):
Of where responsibility in the nicest possible way, like the
team think absolutely, but like if dad wants to act
that way, I'm so sorry.
Speaker 6 (31:35):
Yeah, And I like, I really appreciate that you're trying
to do that for them because I'm so kind. It's
a really good and important, I think thing for you
to do. But at the same time, all of your
hard work in that space, it seems like he's likely
being undermined by your ex partner, and it's tailing that tactic.
Speaker 4 (31:52):
The detriment of your kid's view with you, so like
you trying to raise their dad up so that you
know he doesn't look bad. But at the same time,
the kids are like, well, it's mum's fault because dad
said that, and then Mum's not defending that exactly where's
the line?
Speaker 2 (32:07):
Yeah, And I'm definitely not.
Speaker 6 (32:08):
Saying get down in the mud, Like I think no
better than that. I can understand how it would be
really hard for you, like emotionally to try and maintain
I think as women particularly, we really try and hold
onto all of these things, and we don't want to
make dad look bad. We want to make life really
good for the kids. But also like the child support
isn't enough, and like it can be so hard to balance.
And I really do think opening those lines of communication
(32:30):
to your kids, giving them as much information as possible,
and also making it really clearer than that they can
come to you with questions will hopefully help ease that
burden a little bit, hopefully how counteract any misinformation that
is maybe being shared with them. I would also, if
you haven't already, have a stern word with your ex
partner and saying, hey, my dude, this is actually not okay. Like,
(32:53):
for whatever reason that we broke up, we're raising these kids.
We're co parents parenting on some level. Again, we don't
know what the split of time or anything is, but
we have a responsibility to them to provide stability, to
provide a loving environment, and that cannot happen when we're
ripping each other a new one, Like.
Speaker 4 (33:12):
You can say whatever you want about me to all
your mates, Yeah, go go, ham Son, don't say anything
to our kids. In fact, a lot of like child
protecting orders say that the parents can't shit talk each other,
which is really important. But at the same time, it's
like for small digs like I would probably be going
down the route of being honest and open. We don't
(33:33):
need to do that at the detriment of the other parent.
But like, how do you get your kids involved to
a point where it's age appropriate we're talking about budgets,
like maybe we're like budgeting for school stuff or like
you go, okay, cool, like here's my budget, or you know,
here's the split of how much money comes in for
you guys, and this and this is where it goes,
and this is what your school fees are. So that
(33:54):
maybe as your kids get a little bit older and
maybe your ex is making comments about finances, it just
doesn't make sense to your kids. So like you know,
one plus one doesn't equal to he might be going,
we give you so much money, but the kids are
kind of like, oh, well, actually that only covers this,
this and this, and like I've seen that budget. Like
(34:15):
we're not trying to shit can each other, but like
give them enough, because as you were saying before, Jess,
like kids read between the lines, like they kind of
know in a way what's going on, But I would
not want it to be at the detriment of you, mum,
Like you're doing such a good job, and the fact
that you're caring so much about even the way they're
they're having a relationship with their dad when he's clearly
(34:37):
not that kind to you, speaks volumes about the person
that you are yeah, And I just I have friends
who are going through this and I know what they're
ex did. I know, And like, I don't think I
would be as big a person as these moms are
because I just go, if you did that to me,
straight under the bus. But they speak so highly of
their partner to their kids, like they are bending over backwards.
(34:59):
Their kids would never I know what happened personally that
I just sometimes I think, my god, like what happens
when they're kids are adults.
Speaker 2 (35:06):
And they go, Mummy, what really happened? And you go, well, yeah,
daddy x y zed.
Speaker 4 (35:11):
I would just be like I would love to be
a fly on the wall, but the kids would never
even get that inkling because it's so I guess calm,
and the co parenting relationship is really amicable. So I
just I think, how can you feel a bit more
in control because it's clearly weighing on you very emotionally.
But also, like they seem preteens, that's a great time
(35:32):
to get them involved in household budgets, whether it is
you know, we're not sitting down being like rent is this,
mortgages that whatever, but like could they get involved with okay, cool,
here's our grocery budget. Here's how much we have, Here's
how much things cost. This is what we spend on
a weekly basis. You guys actually have fifty dollars allocated
a week for school lunches and snacks. How do you
(35:54):
want that spent? And kids, they're smart, they can work
that out. Like if you say to a kid, Okay,
well you can have the smith chips. And I think
I've said this on the show before. Used to be
so envious of the kids who had the Smith's chips,
not the like home brand ones. Do you remember the
home brand white packets that had the green lines on
for the chicken. I always had those, And it turns
out it's just because my mum's a money saving queen.
(36:15):
She's like, same stuff that you get more. But I
always saw it as being detrimental, and I wish at
that point Mum had been like, did you realize that
the cost difference here is here and you get ab C.
Speaker 2 (36:26):
D or one packet of Jibby's right? Do you know
what I mean?
Speaker 4 (36:30):
Like? Can we involve kids in these conversations so that
they can be not led down the garden path, but
they can like comprehend the decisions that being made, because
I guarantee that like when I was that age, I
wouldn't have known what the groceries cost.
Speaker 2 (36:44):
No, I don't know what it costs to makes bag bowl.
Speaker 6 (36:47):
And if your partner's going, oh my wait, I pay
a thousand dollars a week at like whatever it is,
that's a big number to kids. Yeah, you go, wow,
that's so much money. Like I'm not seeing any of that,
not really realizing where it's going.
Speaker 4 (36:57):
Exactly, and like, yeah, let's be honest. Let's pretend you're
a fourteen year old girl. You hear that dad's paying
one thousand dollars a month or a week or whatever
it is for me.
Speaker 2 (37:07):
I see that cash? What the hell?
Speaker 1 (37:08):
Mum?
Speaker 2 (37:09):
Yeah, Like sit down, anyway, we everybody else there. We
asked the community.
Speaker 4 (37:14):
We said, first, do you think kids should know about
child support arrangements? Seventy four percent of you said yes,
of course in an age appropriate way. Eighteen percent said no,
that's between the adults, and nine percent said only if
they're asking. We then said, what would you do if
your ex was saying this kind of stuff to your kids?
Forty percent of you said, speak to the co parent.
(37:35):
Thirty eight percent of you said gently correct the narrative,
twenty percent said I go and actually ask a professional
for advice, and two percent said avoid fueling the drama, which,
like I get because you also just don't know who's
the co parent.
Speaker 2 (37:48):
Like, are we dealing with some dood unhinged? That's a
really herd point.
Speaker 6 (37:53):
Actually, maybe something we should say is not knowing you know,
there's acknowledging that there's very much you know, we're just.
Speaker 4 (38:00):
Assuming that this is not some absolute narcissist, terrible person,
terrible person who's manipulative and was abusive and all of this.
Speaker 2 (38:08):
We just think it's your ex. Throw in some shade.
Speaker 4 (38:10):
Yeah, Like that's where we're giving this advice from. Because
if it is that that, we actually do need to
get professionals involved. That's not for a money podcast to
advise on. We did, though, ask the community, could you
give us your two cents? First person said this is
so icky. My dad pulled this too.
Speaker 2 (38:28):
Later I found out he's actually only paying twenty bucks
a month. Oh my god.
Speaker 6 (38:33):
Yeap.
Speaker 4 (38:33):
Someone else said, do not protect your ex. He didn't
provide financial support for his kids and now he's being
spiteful about it. It's a great point.
Speaker 6 (38:40):
Ye.
Speaker 4 (38:40):
Another person said, I actually work in post separation mediation,
and including kids in the CS conversation is not recommended
really currently, which I find that's so interesting. Yes, super interesting.
Speaker 2 (38:55):
Might be worth speaking to an expert then to get on.
Speaker 4 (38:58):
And if you're going through that situation and there is
like court mandated child support being paid, there's going to
be professionals involved that you can go back to and
be like, hey, what's this look like.
Speaker 2 (39:08):
Another person said, what a dirt bag. I love that.
Speaker 4 (39:12):
Someone else said avoiding the tit for tat is honestly
harder than you think, but the kids actually hate hearing it,
so keep going on, mum.
Speaker 2 (39:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (39:20):
Another person said, why don't you do a post separation
parenting course? Which I don't even know was a thing.
It's quite cool. Someone else said it's not your job
to volunteer information, but you could correct it. A therapist
might advise you of something and how to have those conversations.
Then another person and I love this is going to
be like my second last one said, children will always
(39:42):
remember which parent made them feel safer. Actions are always
going to speak louder than work.
Speaker 9 (39:46):
So true.
Speaker 2 (39:47):
Yeah, that's a good point.
Speaker 4 (39:48):
And then someone else said, in my custody order, neither
parent can actually say negative comments about the other parent.
Speaker 2 (39:55):
I understand that, but I think like impracticality. Yeah yeah,
like how do you how do you manage that?
Speaker 4 (40:01):
Feel like, oh, court ordered, it's like, well, I wasn't
saying anything bad, it's just fact, it's just fat.
Speaker 2 (40:05):
Yeah, Like it's all subjective.
Speaker 6 (40:07):
The kids are making it up or it's very hard,
too hard, And I agree that sometimes it's necessary. Oh absolutely,
But also I really like that point of kids are
always going to remember who made them feel the safest,
the most welcome, the most heard.
Speaker 2 (40:21):
Like, well, let's focus on that. Yeah, it's a great take.
Speaker 9 (40:24):
I love that.
Speaker 2 (40:24):
All right, Well that's strong.
Speaker 4 (40:26):
Unfortunately, guys all we have time for today, so we'll
see bright early on Monday for a money diary.
Speaker 2 (40:30):
But till then, have a great weekend.
Speaker 6 (40:32):
Hey, guys.
Speaker 8 (40:32):
By the advice shared on She's on the Money is
general in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances.
She's on the Money exists purely for educational purposes and
should not be relied upon to make an investment or
financial decision. If you do choose to buy a financial product,
(40:54):
read the PDS, TMD, and obtain appropriate financial.
Speaker 2 (40:58):
Advice tailored towards your needs.
Speaker 8 (41:00):
Victoria, Divine and She's on the Money are authorized representatives
of Money sherper P, T y L t D A
b N three two one six four nine two seven
seven zero eight a F s L four five one
two eight nine
Hello, my name's Santasha Nabananga Bamblet. I'm a proud or
the Order Kerni Whaltbury and a waddery woman. And before
we get started on She's on the Money podcast, I
would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land
of which this podcast is recorded on a wondery country,
acknowledging the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming
(00:22):
through as this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing
and the storytelling of you to make a difference for
today and lasting impact for tomorrow.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
Let's get into it.
Speaker 3 (00:34):
She's on the Money. She's on the Money.
Speaker 4 (00:57):
Hello, and welcome to She's on the Money. The podcast
makes personal finance fun, especially on Fridays. It's our favorite
day of the week because we get the team together
and we get to celebrate you, our beautiful She's on
the Money community, Miss Jessicarci, She's going to be sharing
our favorite money ins. Miss beck Say It is going
to be sharing her broke tips, and we're going to
be helping to answer a money dilemma, which is all
(01:18):
about finance options for a new car and something that
you slid into Our dms about this week a child
support drama with your ex. I always find those so juicy.
Oh like it just it blows my mind how messy
they can get.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
It just makes me angry.
Speaker 5 (01:35):
Yess can say, I'm already kind of boiling.
Speaker 4 (01:40):
Can we not just put our stuff aside and care
about this kid genuinely?
Speaker 2 (01:44):
Anyway? Before we get their guys, how were your weeks?
Speaker 6 (01:48):
You go, oh, long weekend? What can we say? It's
just sonics they being like a three day weekend.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
I just love extra time off, isn't it so?
Speaker 6 (01:56):
And it's crazy how like you'd think an extra day
wouldn't make that much difference, but it does.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
It feels like a week somehow, you know what I mean.
It's crazy. So I'm feeling good. That's really nice.
Speaker 5 (02:06):
You had to work in Brisbane. I'm like, I can't
talk about this because I'm already gotting. I just I
feel like an anger or something like it, like because
there's no public holiday in Brisbane, and I was like, oh,
I well, for context for everyone, I covered someone's shift
in Brisbane and so I was like, cool, whatever, And
(02:27):
then I realized that everyone at home has a public holiday.
Speaker 2 (02:29):
No, no, no, yeah, I came.
Speaker 6 (02:35):
Great.
Speaker 4 (02:36):
No, sorry, your contract is a Victorian contract. In fact,
you probably should be getting public holiday rates.
Speaker 6 (02:43):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (02:44):
Gives them the option to be like, you can either
pay me a public holiday rates, you can give me
a which you give me your emails, I will send
youselfing sassy for you Enjuel.
Speaker 5 (02:55):
Okay, well that makes me feel better, but otherwise, you know,
it was really it was actually a fine weekend. My
girlfriend was in Queensland the same time that I had
to work in Queensland, and so like it worked out
really well. That's actually so cute. I still do have phomo.
I have such a sickening fomo. But anyway, what can
you do.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
You just gotta live with it. What about you?
Speaker 6 (03:15):
Fee?
Speaker 2 (03:15):
How'd you we live?
Speaker 1 (03:16):
Love? Laugh?
Speaker 4 (03:16):
Honestly, just having more time to chill out. I feel
like we've been trying so hard to get ahead on
like content and work that I was just like, I'm
excited to have an additional day off. Although I'm not
used to saying King's Birthday.
Speaker 2 (03:29):
Like it just it doesn't roll off the tongue.
Speaker 4 (03:32):
No Queen's birthday, And I mean that makes sense because
she was the queene for so long. King's birthday.
Speaker 2 (03:37):
It just doesn't. She feels fake. Yes makes yeah, it's.
Speaker 4 (03:42):
A woman, I say, really, I want another public holidays
celebrating women anyway, Would you guys like a five star
review because I've got a good one.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
Yes, I've got a really good one. So this one
is from Mike Loud's longtime listener soon to be mother.
Speaker 4 (03:59):
I've been listening to She's on the Money since COVID
and have found it very interesting and easy to listen to.
My wife and I are expecting our first daughter to
be born in the coming months after a long IVF journey.
Listening to this has been a great way for me
to get a deeper appreciation and understanding of the challenges
and mindsets a lot of women have. I really hope
you keep producing this show as my daughter grows older,
(04:21):
so that she can learn from you as well.
Speaker 7 (04:23):
Oh my, so cute, you love the congratulations from a
dads so lovely, literally so wholesome, which as well, I
was like, this is the one I'm going to be
putting on this show.
Speaker 6 (04:36):
You men commenting and stuff in the Facebook group and
stuff lately, and they always preface it I find by saying, oh,
like I know that I'm maybe not your normal target demographic, and.
Speaker 4 (04:44):
You are anyone who resonates without content or welcome here, absolutely.
Speaker 2 (04:47):
And I feel like it's exactly what Mike was saying.
Speaker 6 (04:50):
It gives you an appreciation as well for like the
female perspective that I feel a lot of men lack
or don't.
Speaker 2 (04:55):
Care on hundred percent like you. Just you also don't
know what you don't know.
Speaker 4 (05:00):
You're often like, oh, I didn't know that was an issue,
and that's like totally fine. But the idea that you're
consuming content in order to get ahead of that, that's
low key very sexy.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
Yes see you Yeah, but my, oh my god, that's
so good. Then, thank you so much for listening. I
love it all right. You know what else?
Speaker 4 (05:16):
I love hearing about our community's money wins, Jessica Ricci.
Every single week you do a little lack rally up
of what the community has been loving or what have
you got for us this week?
Speaker 6 (05:26):
All right, firstly, we're starting off with just a good,
solid one from Caroline who said she stayed within her
budget this week, which means she's allocated everything correctly.
Speaker 4 (05:34):
Oh my god, but like good joy in this economy,
I swear everyone I'm talking to is like, I'm trying
so hard to budget, but every week I blow it,
or I can't get it right, or it's really frustrating.
Speaker 2 (05:47):
I'm giving up, like to get it right to flex.
Speaker 6 (05:50):
Chef's kiss, Well done, Caroline. Next, I've got a money
win from l who said money win. We went through
all of our expenses in income for a year, then
made an achievable by aligned.
Speaker 2 (06:00):
With our values.
Speaker 6 (06:01):
This is the first month that I've been on maternity
leave and we haven't dipped into our savings.
Speaker 2 (06:05):
How good. I'm just really feeling everyone's staying in budget.
Speaker 3 (06:09):
This week.
Speaker 6 (06:10):
I didn't even realize that I had two back to
back nace. I've got a money win from Sophie, who
said money win. I realized I had a few nicer
brand dresses at home that I've only worn once, so
I decided to list them on the vault to rent
them out instead of having them just sitting in my
closet and collecting dunst. I've rented out one specific dress
eight times, and I've tripled the money that I spent
(06:30):
on buying the dress.
Speaker 2 (06:32):
How good is that?
Speaker 4 (06:33):
I never know how like rentable my dresses are because
I go, is this just something I like?
Speaker 2 (06:39):
Yeah? Or is this like universally liked? But you're good
at this, Jess.
Speaker 4 (06:42):
I swear you're like, oh, that's a dress I really
want to buy, and you like snoop the Instagram to
see how many girls are wearing it.
Speaker 2 (06:48):
You've made a lot of money.
Speaker 6 (06:50):
I wish I was better at knowing what was trendy,
because I feel like it is if you can pick
the right dress.
Speaker 2 (06:55):
I'm too millennial.
Speaker 6 (06:56):
Yeah, I think I made it as well. But you
might as well just put what you've got up there.
True happens because it's true. It doesn't cost a list,
doesn't it. No, it's all free, so you might just
sit there and every now and again I get an
email that says someone's rented address, and I'm like, oh,
so money exactly? All right, well done, Sophie. Next, I've
got a money in from Shannon who said she got
a jumper that was originally one hundred and seventy dollars
(07:16):
for ten bucks at the Inner Pali warehouse sale last weekend.
Speaker 2 (07:20):
Yes, love a warehouse sale.
Speaker 5 (07:21):
Win.
Speaker 4 (07:22):
That's you are like the warehouse sale queen. You've like
called me before to be like, hey, there's a warehouse sale.
Can I please go during work hours because otherwise I'll
have to line up on a Saturday like a plan.
Speaker 2 (07:31):
But I don't want to do that. And I'll be like, yes, Queen,
go go. It's doing a greater good. We love a
supportive boss, and we love a ware house sale as well.
Very well done for Shannon. Next, a lot of money
lost from Amma.
Speaker 6 (07:42):
And I did feel this in my soul because she
said she had to buy milk and cheese and bread
today and there went twenty dollars.
Speaker 4 (07:48):
What what is it like?
Speaker 6 (07:50):
Yes, every time I check out, I look at what
I've got. I've started playing this game, Like how much
do I think it's gonna cost?
Speaker 2 (07:56):
I wouldn't recommend it. He's always given me. But it
is crazy. You'll be like, oh, there's five things there
and it's like ninety dollars.
Speaker 6 (08:05):
Yes.
Speaker 4 (08:05):
I actually nearly vomited the other week when I was
leaving the supermarket. Again, it's super privileged, but I had
two bags of groceries and it was kind of like
a last minute decision to go to the supermarket.
Speaker 2 (08:17):
We had all of our Maley spoons and stuff.
Speaker 4 (08:19):
But I was like, oh, we're out of like bread,
and like I need some essentials and bloody olive oil
and all of that stuff that I'm like, oh, we
nearly out. I may as well just do a shop.
And if you're a mum, you know that, like it's
like on the front of your mind. If you're not
with your baby, going to the supermarket is easier. So
I was like, oh, oh, just do like an essentials shop.
(08:39):
Two bags, not even full bags from coals.
Speaker 2 (08:42):
I'm walking out. I'm like, geez, Louise, that was one
hundred and seventy dollars. What are you talking about?
Speaker 4 (08:49):
And I was like low key a bit embarrassed as
I was checking out, and I'm thinking, no, I do
need all of these things. And it was like genuine
pantry staples. So I've got butter, I've got you know,
olive oil. I bought some well samic. I had to
buy some new white vinegar. Obviously that's not expensive, but like,
all these things just kind of added up and I
was like what And dishwasher tablets I had to buy
(09:10):
the same transaction.
Speaker 2 (09:12):
Those are so expensive, I know, and.
Speaker 4 (09:14):
I always make sure that when you're buying things like
dishwasher tablets, or if you buy like laundry pods or whatever,
you're not just like picking the cheapest one on the rack.
You're actually looking at how much per pod is, because
when they're on sale, I'm always making sure that, like
each of my dishwasher tablets are like twenty or twenty
five cents because it's so easy to get away.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
You're like, oh, that one's half priced. But then it's
like the.
Speaker 4 (09:37):
Omo brand or whatever it is, and it's like double
what it normally is. So maybe that's a broke tip.
Look at the unit price instead of the overall price.
Speaker 2 (09:46):
This is very, very true.
Speaker 4 (09:48):
You do have astronomically expensive, very privileged that like that
didn't financially cripple me. But I was thinking, I am
so lucky. At the same time, it's being so frustrated.
Speaker 2 (09:58):
It is really hard out there. I feel you in
my soul. Amber.
Speaker 6 (10:01):
Last of this week, I've got a money in from
Meghan who said Facebook Marketplace money win. I've been wanting
to get a daisy dog bed for my friend Cheese,
but the one I wanted is normally two hundred and
eighty nine dollars. My goodness founded a marketplace brand new
for one hundred and twenty mandatory pet tax included.
Speaker 2 (10:15):
And just take a look at that face.
Speaker 4 (10:17):
Oh my goodness, naughty baby, like their little snoots kill
me like, and the sounds that they make.
Speaker 2 (10:28):
I'm like, this can't be normal, adorable friendly.
Speaker 4 (10:31):
She's called Archie and he like he just sounds like
a little piggy and when he's excited, like he does
the piggy dead like the best cute Tell me yes,
broke tips, what if you got?
Speaker 2 (10:43):
Okay?
Speaker 5 (10:43):
So this first one comes from Brook and I have
mentioned something similar before, but I don't think I mentioned
this particular app. So Brook says, download receipt Jar app
and all you have to do is photograph and upload
receipts of purchases you have made, and you accumulate points
which you can cash out into like bouches for woolies,
et cetera.
Speaker 2 (11:01):
So I think it's fantastic.
Speaker 5 (11:03):
And it's like, because we got it, we got to
buy things to stay alive, and it's like you may
as well get some bloody benefits out of that. I
always wonder what you're doing with the receipt like why,
what's the benefit that I always think that they're doing
something dodgy with them, which I'm asuming they're not.
Speaker 2 (11:17):
Lots people use recedure. I'm not shooting on them, but
people use it for business or whatever. But oh dat
a collection?
Speaker 4 (11:24):
Yeah, and understanding people's budgets spending habits like it's interesting,
But like, I don't know, are you guys asking for
receipts for things that you can't claim on tax? Because
like if they're like, do you want a receipt with that,
I'm immediately like unless I can claim it on tax.
Speaker 2 (11:41):
Absolutely not shave the paper, save a tree, save a tree. Absolutely.
I agree.
Speaker 5 (11:45):
Well, I guess maybe it would make more sense if,
you know, back in the day when you flip it
over and it'd be like fifty dollars Domino's pizza Pizza.
Speaker 4 (11:54):
I feel like in this economy, we deserve our receipts
that are literally so long and so expensive to have,
like free KFC.
Speaker 2 (12:00):
On the other side, Yes, that's what should happen. Do
they sort of fuel vouchers on there? I don't believe.
So that's ridiculous. It's illegal. That's illegal. I mean it
sounds like it should be.
Speaker 5 (12:11):
And then this next one comes from Shani who says
if you go to H and M. They have a
recycling clothes initiative where you can take in a bag
of old clothes to donate and they can reuse that
as like textiles and whatever else they want to do
with it. They will give you a fifteen percent off
H and M voucher. That's good, how good recycle.
Speaker 4 (12:31):
I'm so salty on that program because like I have
done a deep dive on TikTok and I'm so sorry
to absolutely blow this, but they don't reuse it, and
I think that that is a green washing scandal if
ever I saw one.
Speaker 3 (12:44):
What does it mean?
Speaker 2 (12:45):
Was it coming?
Speaker 4 (12:45):
We'll give you a discount to buy more fast fashion
and we're actually just going to donate it to charity
later and essentially drop it into lack a charity bin.
Which I'm not saying that donating to charity is bad,
but when they're doing it under different preten guys different Yeah,
So look at up, have a look, make your own decisions.
But I mean, if you're going to buy from you
(13:07):
know H and M already and you wanted a cheeky
little discount and you don't mind like pop off queen,
but as well more educated I am the more sinister.
Speaker 2 (13:16):
I am so.
Speaker 6 (13:18):
Sorry.
Speaker 2 (13:19):
That's so lovely. I'm glad you're looking into these things.
Green washing one out of ten. Greenwashing. That's like virtue signaling.
Speaker 4 (13:25):
Yeah, basically, yeah, okay, it's where you make yourself sound super.
Speaker 2 (13:29):
Ethical or you do something so that you look a
certain way.
Speaker 4 (13:32):
Yeah, and like, don't get me wrong, we're in the
middle of cozy libs, and you know, we can't all
afford to go and buy super ethical outfits. Like, no
shame on anyone shopping at like fast fashion outlets. I
don't mind at all. I just think we should be
so much more conscious with our purchasing. But for a
fast fashion brand to be like, hey, we drop new
stock in our stores literally a number of times per week.
(13:55):
But also here we've got this like recycling program and
you can bring in your old clothes and buying new ones.
It's just making them look like they're doing the right
thing when in reality, like why do they produce so
many clothes? Why don't we just producing consistent basics or
things that actually last H and M yes, yes, yes, yes.
Speaker 2 (14:14):
Anyway, I'm just a bit enough on that.
Speaker 4 (14:16):
We did a whole episode ages ago on Fast fashion,
which we might link in the show notes. Actually, if
you're interested in that, but it's a good it annoys me.
Sorry then no, no, no, don't be sorry. And this
next one, I don't want to be that person, but
yes you do. I'm going to and it's honestly, I'm
gonna sound like a broken record. So me and Jess,
(14:36):
my partner, are booked like a trip to Singapore, which
is very exciting. Sorry, no, not Singapore, Thailand.
Speaker 2 (14:42):
I'm so sorry.
Speaker 5 (14:43):
I keep thinking Singapore for some reason, but it's not
anywhere near Singapore, right, No, no, no, it's a different country.
Well I have that in my head, so I hope
it to land somewhere else. And so this is just
a complete side notes, not at all relevant to my
broke tip. It's like I, for some reason, I can't
like because I I've never been a saver. I can't
save for a trip because I feel like if I've
(15:04):
finally gotten on top of saving, I've saved two thousand
dollars and then all of that, my whole that is
literally my whole life savings goes toward a trip, I'll
be devastated. And so I'm one of those people that
just like to book and then figure it out later.
So I don't haven't even paid for anything yet.
Speaker 2 (15:18):
But my broke tip is going to be this.
Speaker 5 (15:21):
If you're going away anywhere with anyone, it does seem
a little bit dog. You can tell them, you can
tell them what you're doing, but be like, can I
book it?
Speaker 2 (15:27):
Everyone pay me?
Speaker 5 (15:28):
I book it, and you do it through shot back.
I made fifty dollars on a go to and it
are low. Jesse told me at al it's the e
sim fourteen percent back on shot back. Try and book
everything for everyone and get them to pay you, and
then in your shot back it just accumulating all this wealth.
And if people are like, hey, the freak, you need
(15:48):
to give us some of that money, then you can
do that. But I would say you book it, you
get the money, you get the benefits on.
Speaker 2 (15:54):
The aiment for you doing the admin.
Speaker 4 (15:55):
Yeah, you're doing the advice just through and through free situation,
including buying things from office works for our office. Yes,
she adds her own shot back. I mean that is
a good idea because and I allow that so like
her fly By is her I'm like, you know what
pop off queen exactly? That probably don't do that at
your workplace without getting explicit consent from your boss because
(16:18):
that might be theft.
Speaker 2 (16:19):
True, but also if they don't have their own shot
back account, and then it's like.
Speaker 4 (16:22):
That's why you've got to ask, that's why you've got
true because like imagine if your boss found out, Oh,
like you know, and I don't see it is a
bad thing. But oh, Jess is getting like five percent
back of the purchases I'm making.
Speaker 2 (16:33):
All right, we might not see it my shot back.
Speaker 4 (16:36):
Yeah, but when it's with friends, no, sorry, sorry, that
rule doesn't yeh No, you.
Speaker 5 (16:39):
Get that for the for the admin. And you also
can get travel insurance on shot back and get trips
the actual flights.
Speaker 2 (16:44):
Through shot back.
Speaker 5 (16:45):
God, I just I feel like I'm going to make
so much more money as you should, queen, thank you,
like by by spending much much more money.
Speaker 4 (16:54):
But you've got to spend money to make money or
whatever they say. I'm on your team, thank you so much.
So anyway, that's that's what I'm saying.
Speaker 5 (17:00):
I think be the admin person in your group or
in your duo or in your singular and you could
just make a little bit of extra cash on.
Speaker 2 (17:09):
The money win.
Speaker 4 (17:10):
All right, Well, let's go to a really quick break
because on the flip side, we're going to be answering
your money dilemma, which is all about financing options if
you're purchasing a new car. And then something that I
think has annoyed everybody at this table, we've got a
message is slid into our DMS with talking about a
child support drama with your ex.
Speaker 6 (17:27):
So guys, don't go anywhere. Welcome back, everybody. Let's take
a listen to this week's money dilemma.
Speaker 2 (17:39):
Hi, there, have you got a money dilemma you just
can't solve. The She's on the Money team is here
to help.
Speaker 8 (17:45):
Every week we tackle your dilemmas, both big and small,
to answer your most burning money, career and life questions.
To get involved, simply head to our website and leave
us a short voice recording and you might just find
yourself on the show.
Speaker 2 (17:57):
Now, let's take a listen to this week's money dilemma.
Speaker 9 (18:02):
Hey, She's on the Money. I have got a question
for you. Where thinking about getting a new card towards
the end of the year, but I'm not too sure
how to go about it financially. We were considering refinancing
a house a very howcome money. But the problem is
we don't have any equity really in a house right now.
(18:23):
So I'm just wondering what other options are out there
for us. Is refinancing even possible with our equity or
should we look at other ways to finance the car?
Thank you.
Speaker 4 (18:36):
That's an interesting one because so many people believe that
to refinance you have to have equity in your property,
and it's just simply not true. So you can refinance
your mortgage, and a refinance is when you take your
current mortgage that you have with Bank A and go,
you know what, bank is no longer serving me. I
want to pick that up and take it over to
Bank B. It doesn't mean that you need equity, which
(18:58):
is essentially you know, value that's added up because Bank B,
if it's a good mortgage, they're going to go great.
And a lot of the reason you might refinance for
is to you know, obviously, I think you're assuming that
everybody refinances to release equity and that's not the case.
Sometimes you refinance so that you can get a different
loan structure, So you might go, I really want to
(19:20):
move to Bank B because right now I don't have
an offset account, and whatever savings I have coming in,
i'd really like offsetting the interest. Or I'm moving because
I want to lower interest rate, or I'm moving because
I just simply want a different bank this one's no
longer serving me, or I want a redraw. So you
don't have to have equity to refinance. So if we're
talking about cars, and I know that that's not necessarily
(19:41):
what everyone is doing, I'd say, always buy a car
in cash, never buy a brand new car, and always
take into consideration that that asset is not going to
increase in value. It's always going to decrease, unless you're
talking about buying like a vintage Porsche and it's an investment,
Like that's a different story. But most of us are
not buying vintage cars for investment purposes. We are buying
(20:02):
cars that can get us to and from work. Right,
So there's a lot of thoughts I have on cars
because I think that they are often one of the
worst investments, but at the same time, we need them.
Speaker 2 (20:12):
So you could go to a good broker, and you
should go to a good broker and be.
Speaker 4 (20:15):
Like, I don't think I have equity, but what can
I do to put myself in the best possible position,
because it's very naive of me to assume that everyone
can just save up to buy a car, Like car
loans are something that my business rights often. And does
that mean that I, you know, really promote you going
out getting a brand new car loan back?
Speaker 2 (20:33):
Absolutely not.
Speaker 4 (20:34):
But like I deal with moms and dads all the
time that are like, oh, my goodness, we're pregnant, we're
having another baby, and I need a car that fits
two car seats.
Speaker 2 (20:41):
Like I'm sorry, we're.
Speaker 4 (20:42):
In an economy where you don't have thirty k save
to be able to purchase that asset. But like, let's
make a smart decision. We're going to buy a car together.
We're going to go through this. Sometimes you might be
able to extend your mortgage out by thirty grand, and
you might go, oh, that's not a good idea, but
the interest rate on your mortgage might be much lower.
So the interest rate on your mortgage is going to
be under five percent, whereas asset finance often sits at about,
(21:05):
you know, eight to ten percent. So you're saving money
by doing that, and then we can aggressively pay off
that thirty thousand dollars above and beyond. So there's always
a strategy. So when it comes to purchasing a car, no,
you don't need equity. You actually just need a little
bit of strategy. There's also a lot of deals.
Speaker 2 (21:24):
Going around at the moment.
Speaker 4 (21:26):
So, as I said before, we're never buying brand new
because from my perspective, and this is I'm the daughter
of an old Like my dad used to be the
financial controller of car dealerships, so like he never let
me buy brand new cars. Like he was always like
terrible idea, absolutely not And to this day, this man
will not buy a brand new car.
Speaker 2 (21:43):
He will buy a demo model.
Speaker 6 (21:45):
Though.
Speaker 4 (21:45):
But if you're looking at a demo model of a
let's say you want to buy a Volkswagen Polo, you
want to go like because I feel like that's like
a little bit higher end. But like, you know, Keanda
gets whatever you want to purchase, right, you're going to
purchase a small car. Maybe we looking at a demo
and we're trying to get really good finance. Sometimes the
best finance doesn't actually come from a mortgage broker or
(22:08):
someone who writes tasset finance, but it might come from
the dealership and I have seen historically like one or
two percent finance on cars on their lots, So we're
just going to do our research. Finance at a car
dealership most of the time is not your best option.
In fact, it's probably going to be the worst option
because it's the most convenient rat. So, like a little
(22:28):
finance man has set up shop at the local Toyota
and he's like, great, Jess wants a new car.
Speaker 2 (22:33):
She wanders in, goes, can you get finance for me?
Speaker 8 (22:36):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (22:36):
I can.
Speaker 4 (22:36):
I can get you the best deal I can get you,
and it's not the best deal on the market. So
we're shopping around a little bit, but I think having
a look around. Like imagine if you could get demo
car one or two percent finance, drive away all of
your Red Joe's paid, Like, that's not a bad deal. Yeah,
we are making sure that we're making the right financial
decision as opposed to just a Oh I'm a bit
(22:58):
ashamed of this. I need to get a loan, and
you agree to the first loan that comes up. Na,
we're hustling that loan too. We're hustling everything as you should.
So do you guys have anything to add to that.
I think I just jumped in because I was like, oh,
you don't need to have equity to get.
Speaker 2 (23:12):
A car loan. There you go. It's not adding it
to anything. I just wanted to ask.
Speaker 5 (23:17):
It's probably really dumb question, but I've always wanted when
people say paying cash, do you mean physical cash?
Speaker 2 (23:21):
Is that what you're saying?
Speaker 4 (23:23):
You use your car, You could tap your debit card,
but you could, like you're saying, you know, go to
the ATM and get some fifties to hand, like make.
Speaker 2 (23:33):
Sure it's not tracked, like just fighting cash. Yeah, when
we say like buy cash, understood.
Speaker 4 (23:39):
Yeah, And that's all not Sorry, I reckon lots of
people were thinking that, to be honest, but I think
it's for me love a good car, but also we
need to be so aware of how that impacts our
long term financial goals. And I see a lot of people,
especially like you see it, especially during like cost of
living crisises, They're like, well, you know what, everything else
(24:00):
is hard, I deserve XYZ. And they often talk themselves
into an asset that is maybe a bit beyond their
financial capacity or a bit beyond because they just want
to feel special. You're just like life's really tough right now, Like, well,
you know, earlier this episode we're talking about groceries being
a struggle. You're like, well, whats and like so easily
we justify it to ourselves. What's an extra one hundred
(24:21):
bucks a month? Honestly, Like groceries are more than that.
You justify it, and then you have an asset that's
worth more decreases more like it just puts you in
a worse off position, often because you think this asset
is going to make you feel good. Oh, it's the
confidence boost I need for a week.
Speaker 6 (24:37):
It's just a car.
Speaker 2 (24:38):
It's just a car gets you from A to B. Yeah,
I drive my cars into They're like exactly as you should,
seriously as you should.
Speaker 4 (24:48):
All right, guys, would you like to hear the DM
that we got these wee absolutely, I think we've got
thoughts and opinions on this, all right, So the DM
we got this week high she's on the money.
Speaker 2 (24:59):
I have a money to lem.
Speaker 4 (25:00):
I really need help with my ex and I shared children,
and after a long period of him not contributing financially,
including to things like school, dental, and sports, I went
through child support collection to make sure the kids' needs
were being met. Since then, he started making comments directly
to our kids, like I can't give you pocket money
anymore because I have to pay child support and Mum
(25:23):
will have to pack all of your clothes. Now my
kids are preteens and they've started asking questions. I'm really torn.
I want to teach them financial literacy, but I also
want to protect their view of their dad. At the
same time, I don't want them believing that I'm the
reason they're missing out. How do I have age appropriate
conversations with them about this? And how do I talk
(25:43):
to their dad about the comments he's making.
Speaker 5 (25:48):
That sounds like the exact situation I would hate to
be in, because it's like awful. Yeah, like now you're
parenting everyone to have it that's gentle parent conversation with
an adult and be like, hey, don't say that.
Speaker 2 (26:07):
That is so dumb.
Speaker 3 (26:10):
You are so dumb.
Speaker 2 (26:12):
It's made me so angry, Like, oh my, I feel
first what I just want to say, I'm so sorry.
It's so manipulous that you live in this situation with
like like and you don't know that this is the thing.
This worth say to all my friends, is worth say
to everyone?
Speaker 5 (26:25):
Is like we meet someone all these things that you're like, oh,
you know, you've got to get to know someone before
you live together. You've got to get to know someone
if we have children with them. I totally understand that
you do. But by the time you learn that the
person you're living with actually doesn't cook and clean for themselves,
actually isn't an equal parent, Actually is not like meeting
you at your level when it comes like the mental load,
(26:48):
the emotional load, you don't realize until you're attached in
some way either emotionally, physically, literally, financially, whatever, And then
you get there and you're like, good to know this
person is just being so immature, Like first of all,
not first of all, because I've said a million things,
but the other thing too is that like did they
say how much they're paying in child support?
Speaker 2 (27:10):
No, I don't know what this person's paying in child support.
Speaker 4 (27:12):
It might be and it doesn't happen because if it's
child support, it doesn't matter actually court mandated, so it
would be based on their income, based on their children,
based on their children's needs. And we all know, having
I have a lot of single mum friends, we all
know it's never bloody enough like your child support.
Speaker 2 (27:29):
Payment is not going to be the majority of your income.
Speaker 4 (27:32):
It's not going to be enough to do dental and
sports and clothing them and feed it.
Speaker 2 (27:36):
I promise you hand on my heart. That is not
enough money, So sit down. Exactly.
Speaker 5 (27:42):
But even if, like if it was the other way
around and she was like, I've paid for all of
your basic needs and then you go and you do
have some money that is disposable income or whatever, whether
you do or you don't. I feel like if you
go out to the shops and your child is like, hey,
I'm really hungry, and then you're like, okay, well I'll
just let me just get you one of these, like,
(28:02):
you know, a milkshake or something.
Speaker 2 (28:04):
I don't know what kids eat or drink. Mine needs
a lot of berries.
Speaker 5 (28:07):
Imagine you're out and your child is hungry, and then
you're like, I've actually paid for your all.
Speaker 2 (28:12):
Of your basic needs. So you already paid my child.
Speaker 5 (28:16):
So yeah, no, yeah, I've paid for your school fees,
I've contributed to the rent.
Speaker 2 (28:22):
Fits so silly when you put it that way. No, exactly,
And that's your child.
Speaker 5 (28:26):
You both decide to have children, so your responsibilities as
a parent never dies, no matter what until you die.
Speaker 2 (28:34):
It doesn't matter if you've already paid for X, y Z.
You just have to do what you have to do.
Because you both decide to have children, you just keep
being a parent. I'm so sorry to this time.
Speaker 4 (28:44):
It makes it's so mad, and it like makes me
so mad, I think because I have the privilege of
being in the SESE on the mining community and seeing
so many single parents with all of these pressures. And
I think the thing that makes me the maddest is
when one parent is paying you know what they deem
to be a lot of child support, but they can't
(29:04):
seem to conceptualize that that actually does go to the
child rearing and it's also not enough, and they're like
throwing shade at the other parent, being like, well, of
course you can afford that, like you get child support
as though like they don't deserve it. I know, actually
blows my mind. Jess, what are your thoughts on this?
Speaker 6 (29:22):
Oh, I completely agree with everything you just said back,
and I'm not going to go on to be grand
because I feel like they need it for us, for us,
you cover it very much. Like I agree with everything
you said. Yeah, I'm really sorry that you're going through this.
This is emotionally manipulative. It's really really horrible. They're weaponizing
your children against you, and that really doesn't sit well
with me. I'm going to tackle it from a practical
(29:42):
standpoint and say I kind of have two thoughts on this.
Speaker 2 (29:46):
The first one is that I think there's.
Speaker 6 (29:48):
A lot of benefit to talking to your children like
their adults. That's something that my parents will really bigne
with me and my brother, obviously within the level of
being age appropriate. But the second thing that I would
say that kind of leans into that is children are
much more observant, I think than we remember a lot
of the time as adults. But even if you're not
(30:08):
talking to them about things, you would be amazed at
the nonverbal cues that they're picking up the things that
they're you know, reading between the lines from the conversations
they're having with you and your ex partner. And so
I think there, honestly is probably a lot of benefit,
particularly because these types of living situations can create a
bit of a sense of instability in just being honest
(30:28):
with them and you know, sitting them down and explaining
what is child support, where is that money going? Like
giving them a bit of an understanding. And again, we
don't know the ages of your kids. So you know,
if you're talking to one year old, you said kind
of preteen, oh okay, pteen, yeah, yeah, Like if you're
talking to a one year old, might not work.
Speaker 2 (30:43):
But if they're pretty yeah, Harvey is just.
Speaker 4 (30:45):
Like banging on the fridge nowadays, like where the blueberries at,
not comprehending it all.
Speaker 6 (30:50):
But if they're of that age, they are old enough
to be able to kind of understand these basic concepts
of economics, of shared responsibility, of kindness to people who are,
for better or worse, a part of your family. And
so I think being really frank in conversations with that
is beneficial. It also opens the door for them to
come to you with questions because I think when you
(31:12):
have two parents that are communicating maybe different things, and
it sounds like on our listener's side, you're trying to
protect their image of their dad. You're trying to make
it feel, you know, maintain that feeling of stability.
Speaker 4 (31:25):
Of where responsibility in the nicest possible way, like the
team think absolutely, but like if dad wants to act
that way, I'm so sorry.
Speaker 6 (31:35):
Yeah, And I like, I really appreciate that you're trying
to do that for them because I'm so kind. It's
a really good and important, I think thing for you
to do. But at the same time, all of your
hard work in that space, it seems like he's likely
being undermined by your ex partner, and it's tailing that tactic.
Speaker 4 (31:52):
The detriment of your kid's view with you, so like
you trying to raise their dad up so that you
know he doesn't look bad. But at the same time,
the kids are like, well, it's mum's fault because dad
said that, and then Mum's not defending that exactly where's
the line?
Speaker 2 (32:07):
Yeah, And I'm definitely not.
Speaker 6 (32:08):
Saying get down in the mud, Like I think no
better than that. I can understand how it would be
really hard for you, like emotionally to try and maintain
I think as women particularly, we really try and hold
onto all of these things, and we don't want to
make dad look bad. We want to make life really
good for the kids. But also like the child support
isn't enough, and like it can be so hard to balance.
And I really do think opening those lines of communication
(32:30):
to your kids, giving them as much information as possible,
and also making it really clearer than that they can
come to you with questions will hopefully help ease that
burden a little bit, hopefully how counteract any misinformation that
is maybe being shared with them. I would also, if
you haven't already, have a stern word with your ex
partner and saying, hey, my dude, this is actually not okay. Like,
(32:53):
for whatever reason that we broke up, we're raising these kids.
We're co parents parenting on some level. Again, we don't
know what the split of time or anything is, but
we have a responsibility to them to provide stability, to
provide a loving environment, and that cannot happen when we're
ripping each other a new one, Like.
Speaker 4 (33:12):
You can say whatever you want about me to all
your mates, Yeah, go go, ham Son, don't say anything
to our kids. In fact, a lot of like child
protecting orders say that the parents can't shit talk each other,
which is really important. But at the same time, it's
like for small digs like I would probably be going
down the route of being honest and open. We don't
(33:33):
need to do that at the detriment of the other parent.
But like, how do you get your kids involved to
a point where it's age appropriate we're talking about budgets,
like maybe we're like budgeting for school stuff or like
you go, okay, cool, like here's my budget, or you know,
here's the split of how much money comes in for
you guys, and this and this is where it goes,
and this is what your school fees are. So that
(33:54):
maybe as your kids get a little bit older and
maybe your ex is making comments about finances, it just
doesn't make sense to your kids. So like you know,
one plus one doesn't equal to he might be going,
we give you so much money, but the kids are
kind of like, oh, well, actually that only covers this,
this and this, and like I've seen that budget. Like
(34:15):
we're not trying to shit can each other, but like
give them enough, because as you were saying before, Jess,
like kids read between the lines, like they kind of
know in a way what's going on, But I would
not want it to be at the detriment of you, mum,
Like you're doing such a good job, and the fact
that you're caring so much about even the way they're
they're having a relationship with their dad when he's clearly
(34:37):
not that kind to you, speaks volumes about the person
that you are yeah, And I just I have friends
who are going through this and I know what they're
ex did. I know, And like, I don't think I
would be as big a person as these moms are
because I just go, if you did that to me,
straight under the bus. But they speak so highly of
their partner to their kids, like they are bending over backwards.
(34:59):
Their kids would never I know what happened personally that
I just sometimes I think, my god, like what happens
when they're kids are adults.
Speaker 2 (35:06):
And they go, Mummy, what really happened? And you go, well, yeah,
daddy x y zed.
Speaker 4 (35:11):
I would just be like I would love to be
a fly on the wall, but the kids would never
even get that inkling because it's so I guess calm,
and the co parenting relationship is really amicable. So I
just I think, how can you feel a bit more
in control because it's clearly weighing on you very emotionally.
But also, like they seem preteens, that's a great time
(35:32):
to get them involved in household budgets, whether it is
you know, we're not sitting down being like rent is this,
mortgages that whatever, but like could they get involved with okay, cool,
here's our grocery budget. Here's how much we have, Here's
how much things cost. This is what we spend on
a weekly basis. You guys actually have fifty dollars allocated
a week for school lunches and snacks. How do you
(35:54):
want that spent? And kids, they're smart, they can work
that out. Like if you say to a kid, Okay,
well you can have the smith chips. And I think
I've said this on the show before. Used to be
so envious of the kids who had the Smith's chips,
not the like home brand ones. Do you remember the
home brand white packets that had the green lines on
for the chicken. I always had those, And it turns
out it's just because my mum's a money saving queen.
(36:15):
She's like, same stuff that you get more. But I
always saw it as being detrimental, and I wish at
that point Mum had been like, did you realize that
the cost difference here is here and you get ab C.
Speaker 2 (36:26):
D or one packet of Jibby's right? Do you know
what I mean?
Speaker 4 (36:30):
Like? Can we involve kids in these conversations so that
they can be not led down the garden path, but
they can like comprehend the decisions that being made, because
I guarantee that like when I was that age, I
wouldn't have known what the groceries cost.
Speaker 2 (36:44):
No, I don't know what it costs to makes bag bowl.
Speaker 6 (36:47):
And if your partner's going, oh my wait, I pay
a thousand dollars a week at like whatever it is,
that's a big number to kids. Yeah, you go, wow,
that's so much money. Like I'm not seeing any of that,
not really realizing where it's going.
Speaker 4 (36:57):
Exactly, and like, yeah, let's be honest. Let's pretend you're
a fourteen year old girl. You hear that dad's paying
one thousand dollars a month or a week or whatever
it is for me.
Speaker 2 (37:07):
I see that cash? What the hell?
Speaker 1 (37:08):
Mum?
Speaker 2 (37:09):
Yeah, Like sit down, anyway, we everybody else there. We
asked the community.
Speaker 4 (37:14):
We said, first, do you think kids should know about
child support arrangements? Seventy four percent of you said yes,
of course in an age appropriate way. Eighteen percent said no,
that's between the adults, and nine percent said only if
they're asking. We then said, what would you do if
your ex was saying this kind of stuff to your kids?
Forty percent of you said, speak to the co parent.
(37:35):
Thirty eight percent of you said gently correct the narrative,
twenty percent said I go and actually ask a professional
for advice, and two percent said avoid fueling the drama, which,
like I get because you also just don't know who's
the co parent.
Speaker 2 (37:48):
Like, are we dealing with some dood unhinged? That's a
really herd point.
Speaker 6 (37:53):
Actually, maybe something we should say is not knowing you know,
there's acknowledging that there's very much you know, we're just.
Speaker 4 (38:00):
Assuming that this is not some absolute narcissist, terrible person,
terrible person who's manipulative and was abusive and all of this.
Speaker 2 (38:08):
We just think it's your ex. Throw in some shade.
Speaker 4 (38:10):
Yeah, Like that's where we're giving this advice from. Because
if it is that that, we actually do need to
get professionals involved. That's not for a money podcast to
advise on. We did, though, ask the community, could you
give us your two cents? First person said this is
so icky. My dad pulled this too.
Speaker 2 (38:28):
Later I found out he's actually only paying twenty bucks
a month. Oh my god.
Speaker 6 (38:33):
Yeap.
Speaker 4 (38:33):
Someone else said, do not protect your ex. He didn't
provide financial support for his kids and now he's being
spiteful about it. It's a great point.
Speaker 6 (38:40):
Ye.
Speaker 4 (38:40):
Another person said, I actually work in post separation mediation,
and including kids in the CS conversation is not recommended
really currently, which I find that's so interesting. Yes, super interesting.
Speaker 2 (38:55):
Might be worth speaking to an expert then to get on.
Speaker 4 (38:58):
And if you're going through that situation and there is
like court mandated child support being paid, there's going to
be professionals involved that you can go back to and
be like, hey, what's this look like.
Speaker 2 (39:08):
Another person said, what a dirt bag. I love that.
Speaker 4 (39:12):
Someone else said avoiding the tit for tat is honestly
harder than you think, but the kids actually hate hearing it,
so keep going on, mum.
Speaker 2 (39:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (39:20):
Another person said, why don't you do a post separation
parenting course? Which I don't even know was a thing.
It's quite cool. Someone else said it's not your job
to volunteer information, but you could correct it. A therapist
might advise you of something and how to have those conversations.
Then another person and I love this is going to
be like my second last one said, children will always
(39:42):
remember which parent made them feel safer. Actions are always
going to speak louder than work.
Speaker 9 (39:46):
So true.
Speaker 2 (39:47):
Yeah, that's a good point.
Speaker 4 (39:48):
And then someone else said, in my custody order, neither
parent can actually say negative comments about the other parent.
Speaker 2 (39:55):
I understand that, but I think like impracticality. Yeah yeah,
like how do you how do you manage that?
Speaker 4 (40:01):
Feel like, oh, court ordered, it's like, well, I wasn't
saying anything bad, it's just fact, it's just fat.
Speaker 2 (40:05):
Yeah, Like it's all subjective.
Speaker 6 (40:07):
The kids are making it up or it's very hard,
too hard, And I agree that sometimes it's necessary. Oh absolutely,
But also I really like that point of kids are
always going to remember who made them feel the safest,
the most welcome, the most heard.
Speaker 2 (40:21):
Like, well, let's focus on that. Yeah, it's a great take.
Speaker 9 (40:24):
I love that.
Speaker 2 (40:24):
All right, Well that's strong.
Speaker 4 (40:26):
Unfortunately, guys all we have time for today, so we'll
see bright early on Monday for a money diary.
Speaker 2 (40:30):
But till then, have a great weekend.
Speaker 6 (40:32):
Hey, guys.
Speaker 8 (40:32):
By the advice shared on She's on the Money is
general in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances.
She's on the Money exists purely for educational purposes and
should not be relied upon to make an investment or
financial decision. If you do choose to buy a financial product,
(40:54):
read the PDS, TMD, and obtain appropriate financial.
Speaker 2 (40:58):
Advice tailored towards your needs.
Speaker 8 (41:00):
Victoria, Divine and She's on the Money are authorized representatives
of Money sherper P, T y L t D A
b N three two one six four nine two seven
seven zero eight a F s L four five one
two eight nine
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