May 26, 2025 • 15 mins
Welcome to Lucky Dip - our bite-sized weekly (sometimes fortnightly) pod! Each ep, we'll take turns sticking our mitts into the goodie bucket and unwrapping a topic to chinwag about. You never know what you're gonna get, so enjoy five minutes of randomness that we hope will bring a lil' nugget of joy to your day. Enjoy!
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Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
It's lucky dip term. Thanks for joining us. We put
our hand in the basket, we pull out a topic,
we chat about it for about ten man. It's mail,
it's Monty, thank you so much for listening.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
In Mail. You're in charge of LA today.
Speaker 3 (00:23):
Well, you know, the last few weeks, I've just been
a bit dark in my h what I think, what
I've brought to the table.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
All right, you find you deep dive into these stories
that are so dark. I don't even know it. Do
you go on to the dark Web?
Speaker 3 (00:40):
No, No, I'm fascinated by that. How do you even
get there? I don't get I don't know. I think
you have to know people.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
And so is it a website you put in? I
just don't understand.
Speaker 3 (00:50):
I don't know. I don't know exactly how it works,
but I know there's some shit that goes down in
like Pedophile Rings and yeah, right, people into a podcast
called the kill List, which is basically a guy that
infiltrated this site on the dark Web. It was like
a higher kill thing. So like say I want Mark killed, Yeah,
(01:13):
you can to get someone. So they've got this kill
list from this guy and podcast is them trying to
contact people who are on the list. But like, imagine
just calling someone out of the blue. Imagine someone calling
you and going, hi, I just wanted to let you know.
I know this sounds strange, but you're actually on this
fucking person. You'd be like, okay, Sea, Yeah, it would
(01:33):
be very strange.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
But also you're into some shady shit, Like you're probably
not that surprised if you're on someone's hit list.
Speaker 3 (01:39):
No, it is like women who are married to men
who are having affairs and they want the wife out
of the picture. And I've never understood it. Why wouldn't
you just say I want a divorce. But the funny
thing is so many of these men that don't want
to divorce are either because they're religious or they're asters
(02:00):
in their community, so to divorce is wrong, so kill
is better? Wow? Or I guess it comes down to
like they want the money from the life insurance policies
and stuff.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
Yeah, it might be a lot fucked. Oh my god,
that's scary. How fucked people are.
Speaker 3 (02:15):
Oh my god, we are so normal, it's unbelievable.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
Yeah, we are wed.
Speaker 3 (02:22):
I thought i'd bring something light today. Very funny.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
I love it. Okay, yes, so.
Speaker 3 (02:30):
Quite some time ago actually have done it twice. I
read out this Amazon review of a vibrator that was
like the funniest ringever. It's so good. So I started
thinking the other night, I wonder what other funny Amazon
reviews there are? Fuck mate? I found some gold. Okay,
so I'll start with a five pound bag of Haribo
(02:51):
sugar free gummy Bears.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
I know those Haribo ones, the gold it's gold like logo.
Ye yeah. Why is somebody writing a review around about them?
Speaker 3 (03:03):
I'll tell you why. Okay, one star. Just don't unless
this is a gift for someone you hate. Oh man,
words cannot express what happened to me after eating these
the gummy bear cleans. If you are someone that can
that can tolerate the sugar substitute, enjoy. If you were
like the dozens of people that tried my order, run
(03:26):
first of all for taste, I would rate these a five.
So good, soft, true to taste, fruit flavors like the
sugar variety. I was a happy camper, but or should
I say, but with two teas. Not long after eating
about twenty of these, all hell broke loose, I had
a gastro intestinal experience like nothing I've ever imagined, cramps, sweating, bloating,
(03:51):
beyond my worst nightmare. I've had food poisoning from some
bad shellfish, and that was almost like a skip in
the park compared to what was going on inside me.
Then came the flatulence. Heavens to Murgatroyd, I don't even
know what that word means.
Speaker 2 (04:06):
Nice.
Speaker 3 (04:06):
The sounds like trumpets calling the demons back to hell.
The stench like one thousand rotten corpses vomited. I couldn't
stand to stay in one room for fear of succumbing
to my own owners. But wait, there's more. What came
out of me felt like someone tried to funnel Niagara
(04:29):
Falls through a coffee straw. I swear my sphincters were screaming.
It felt like my delicate starfish was a gaping more
what's a more m aw? Maybe a hole, A gaping
more projectile vomiting a torrential flood of toxic waste one
hundred percent liquid, flammable liquid napalm. It was actually a
(04:56):
bit humorous for a nanosecond, as it was just beyond
anything I imagine possible, and it went on for hours.
I felt violated when it was over, which I think
might have been sometime in the early morning of the
next day. There was stuff coming out of me that
I ate at my wedding in two thousand and five.
(05:19):
I had five pounds of these innocent looking, delicious tasting
hall bears. So I told a friend about what happened
to me, thinking it had to be some sort of
sensitivity I had to the sugar substitute, and in spite
of my warnings and graphic descriptions, she decided to take
her chances and take the hand who silly woman. All
of the same for her, and a phone call from
(05:42):
her while she was on the toilet telling me she
really wished she would have listened. I think she was crying.
Her sister was skeptical and suspected that we were exaggerating.
She took them to work since there was still ninety
nine percent of a five pound bag left. She works
for a construction company where they're all builders, roofers, house painters, landscapers,
et cetera. Lots of people who generally have limited access
(06:06):
to toilets on any given day. My god, I can't
imagine where all of these poor men and women pooped
that day. I keep envisioning men on roofs, crossing their
legs and trying to decide if they can make it
down the ladder or if they should just jump. If
you order these, best of luck to you, and please
don't post a video review during the after shocks. You
(06:26):
know what it is. It's I don't know if it's
artificial sweetener or the the one that's not bad for you,
because I went through a stage where I got addicted
to the sugar free mints.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
Ah yes, like your eclipse No, like ants.
Speaker 3 (06:44):
Like a like a minty.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
Ah oh yeah, yeah, I love a minty.
Speaker 3 (06:48):
Yes, but like a minty And I'm thinking, oh, they're
like a natural sugar free substitute. Yes, mate, I mean
they always upset my tummy.
Speaker 2 (06:58):
Yeah, they do to a lot of people. You have
too much of them. It's not bad. I mean it's
not good for your system. No, you can't. It's just
a known thing. Same as like the Eclipse mints. You
have too many. If my kids eat too many, might
you're gonna get diarrhea. But that review, I always shocked
people take time to do a review, let alone. That
was a long review for gummy bears.
Speaker 3 (07:20):
That's a person that's something I would do.
Speaker 2 (07:23):
That's like, yeah, I can see. And it was lyrically
genius as well. She was very good with her words.
Speaker 3 (07:28):
It's an album.
Speaker 2 (07:29):
Never ever written a review.
Speaker 3 (07:31):
Yeah, don't say that, because we asked people to review
at the end of.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
The show, and I'm going to start doing it for
other podcasts. But I've never written a review.
Speaker 3 (07:40):
No, I don't think I've ever written a review either.
I don't think.
Speaker 2 (07:43):
Well, the only time I have is when a friend
has sent me and said, oh, for their business, like
I need to get some reviews. Yeah, and I'll do
that for them. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (07:50):
Well I have almost shit myself though. Remember that time
I told you I used to work for a government
employment agency with people who were getting center Link to
try and find jobs, and then I'd contact the employer
on behalf of the person. Right, I had taken this tea,
it was like that, I mean, the worst name for
a tea. It was called like slim diet tea or something.
Speaker 2 (08:13):
Yeah, I remember those diet teas.
Speaker 3 (08:16):
And I, of course, when in hard straight away I
was like one tea bag, I'm going to do two.
They say steep it for five minutes. I'm gonna steep
mind for twenty Yeah, mate, I was in the middle
of seeing a kloient and I had to, like I
gripped onto my chair, like I had to tell him
to go because I said, oh, sorry, I think I'm
going to be sick. And you know what, I'm like
(08:37):
shitting anywhere but home. I sat in that toilet. I
was like crying. I couldn't stop. I'd take the next
day off work.
Speaker 2 (08:45):
Oh my god, you were that traumatized. And when you
tell me it was that bad.
Speaker 3 (08:49):
As in anything that when in came out water anything,
it would have just been pure laxative in that tea.
That's all it was. That's all it was. I mean
I got on the scal the next day and I
was like, oh you did Jesus remember that, like the
full dieting days where you'd give tea you go. I
did the cabbage diet, that act diet.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
Like anything you could think of. I would do so ridiculous,
it's terrible.
Speaker 3 (09:14):
I'll do a couple of really short ones and then
maybe next time I'll pick up and do it a
couple more because they're good.
Speaker 2 (09:19):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (09:20):
VAT for men hair removal jelf cream. This is from Dennis.
Dennis makes my fart sound louder. The hair must have
acted as an interlocking silencer. I give this a big
thumbs up, five out of five.
Speaker 2 (09:37):
Veted his bum hole, veted his asshole.
Speaker 3 (09:40):
Yeah yeah, Actually here's a recommendation that he is a
gross you know what, let's just keep this to the theme.
Speaker 2 (09:48):
Yeah bum bums.
Speaker 3 (09:49):
Okay, I found I need to I'll put the link
in the show notes if anyone else is interested. I
found a proctologist, which is a bum doctor. Yes, on YouTube, right,
it came up in my you know recommended.
Speaker 2 (10:04):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (10:06):
Anyway, there were things that I had no idea about
when it came to asses, and like it's it's like
a wealth of information. These doctors and stuff that come
on and do these videos. I'm like, thank you, because
this is free information that you usually have to go
to a specialist for.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
Like I knew that your.
Speaker 3 (10:29):
Ass was, you know, a sensitive place. But I'm quite
aggressive with my wiping, right, Like I just get right
in there, I get right in there. But he was
saying how the skin there is so delicate, It's like
the skin on your lips. Also, like with the issue
of wiping, about how moisture is always going to be
(10:51):
the best way to get My dad just got a
bidet put in. I have a bidet? Do you in
my en suite? And I have never used it?
Speaker 2 (11:00):
Maybe you should start. The days are apparently the whole
way to go.
Speaker 3 (11:04):
I used it the other day. I think it's going
to change my life. So I don't even know how
to use it. I'm like, I said to Mark, is
this thing connected? Because it's a separate one, so like
now you can buy it like an attachment onto your
toilet or whatever. This is like an old fashioned separate
one next to the toilet. I said to me, I
don't even had to fucking use this thing. Is it
connected to water? He's like yeah, anyway again, watched a
(11:26):
YouTube tutorial. People use them very differently. Some people don't
wipe their ass at all. Not They just go from yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:34):
No, I'm not doing that, Well that's what that's the
whole thing of the bidet. You don't know, and then
you just don't. You then just use like a cloth
or something and wipe your date after you've used the bidet.
Speaker 3 (11:44):
No, I think the bidet is like what I see
it like an extra layer, right, so I'll wipe myself
and then you get on and you wash yourself.
Speaker 2 (11:57):
Do you just sit on it like a toilet and
then push button?
Speaker 3 (12:01):
This is the thing. I think it's so the well,
the one that I've got that it's like a mixer
tap like you have in your kitchen, so you can
have a lifty one yep, and depending on how much
you know, like how much pressure is how much the
spout comes out. But a woman, I think you would
have to almost be front facing because well, when you
(12:23):
think about it, well, this is what this is. It's
been a whole learning curve because it's like the way
our bodies are if you're and I guess it's the
same principles if you're in the shower, but it's like
then having to lean forward for the water to go there.
But I'm like, then the water will run down and
then I don't want that water to then go vagina.
Speaker 2 (12:45):
I would never think that, right.
Speaker 3 (12:47):
Yes, anyway, I straddled it.
Speaker 4 (12:50):
Do you know what I said to Mark? It was
like I got into a fucking trance. It wasn't like
a sexual thing. It was like the warm water so
it's hitting my.
Speaker 3 (13:03):
Volver and just sitting there and.
Speaker 4 (13:05):
I said to mark.
Speaker 3 (13:07):
It was such a beautiful feeling. I just sat there
for about five minutes. It was almost therapeutic.
Speaker 2 (13:14):
Yeah right, I'm like, I think I'm into it. Or
do it, mate, you've got one there, you should definitely
do it. And if it's like a comforting vulver hug,
do it.
Speaker 3 (13:24):
I know. But I'm just like, oh, it's the having to.
I don't know if I have to buy more face washes,
because then you have to try it off.
Speaker 2 (13:31):
And then you have to wash the face washers. You
don't want to double use a face washer, do you,
But although it's very clean, you could.
Speaker 3 (13:36):
I will tell you something very funny though, and then
we'll go sorry, because this is a long, lucky dip
I had you. I picked up one of my white
face washers from the linen cupboard and I had it
there and I hadn't really looked at it. And I
got off the thing and I wiped my ass, and
I'm so graffy. I looked at the I think we.
(13:58):
I think the people that are still here I invested.
Speaker 2 (14:02):
So many have tuned out.
Speaker 3 (14:03):
So I look at this white face washer. It's fucking brown.
I was like, what's happening? Like I'm thinking this is ship.
It was fake tan. It was stained from fight ten.
I said to Mark, I go up to him and
go I just used the bidet and he goes, oh,
how was it? I said, look at this. He goes,
(14:25):
what the F? And then I said, said yourself, that's
so funny.
Speaker 2 (14:35):
All right, everyone, thank you for listening in. If you're
still there after that, like some people are so not
pee wee human.
Speaker 3 (14:41):
They would have tuned out, so sorry.
Speaker 2 (14:45):
But if you're still there, thank you for listening and
we'll be chatting to you very soon. Bye.
Speaker 3 (14:50):
Love you
It's lucky dip term. Thanks for joining us. We put
our hand in the basket, we pull out a topic,
we chat about it for about ten man. It's mail,
it's Monty, thank you so much for listening.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
In Mail. You're in charge of LA today.
Speaker 3 (00:23):
Well, you know, the last few weeks, I've just been
a bit dark in my h what I think, what
I've brought to the table.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
All right, you find you deep dive into these stories
that are so dark. I don't even know it. Do
you go on to the dark Web?
Speaker 3 (00:40):
No, No, I'm fascinated by that. How do you even
get there? I don't get I don't know. I think
you have to know people.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
And so is it a website you put in? I
just don't understand.
Speaker 3 (00:50):
I don't know. I don't know exactly how it works,
but I know there's some shit that goes down in
like Pedophile Rings and yeah, right, people into a podcast
called the kill List, which is basically a guy that
infiltrated this site on the dark Web. It was like
a higher kill thing. So like say I want Mark killed, Yeah,
(01:13):
you can to get someone. So they've got this kill
list from this guy and podcast is them trying to
contact people who are on the list. But like, imagine
just calling someone out of the blue. Imagine someone calling
you and going, hi, I just wanted to let you know.
I know this sounds strange, but you're actually on this
fucking person. You'd be like, okay, Sea, Yeah, it would
(01:33):
be very strange.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
But also you're into some shady shit, Like you're probably
not that surprised if you're on someone's hit list.
Speaker 3 (01:39):
No, it is like women who are married to men
who are having affairs and they want the wife out
of the picture. And I've never understood it. Why wouldn't
you just say I want a divorce. But the funny
thing is so many of these men that don't want
to divorce are either because they're religious or they're asters
(02:00):
in their community, so to divorce is wrong, so kill
is better? Wow? Or I guess it comes down to
like they want the money from the life insurance policies
and stuff.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
Yeah, it might be a lot fucked. Oh my god,
that's scary. How fucked people are.
Speaker 3 (02:15):
Oh my god, we are so normal, it's unbelievable.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
Yeah, we are wed.
Speaker 3 (02:22):
I thought i'd bring something light today. Very funny.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
I love it. Okay, yes, so.
Speaker 3 (02:30):
Quite some time ago actually have done it twice. I
read out this Amazon review of a vibrator that was
like the funniest ringever. It's so good. So I started
thinking the other night, I wonder what other funny Amazon
reviews there are? Fuck mate? I found some gold. Okay,
so I'll start with a five pound bag of Haribo
(02:51):
sugar free gummy Bears.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
I know those Haribo ones, the gold it's gold like logo.
Ye yeah. Why is somebody writing a review around about them?
Speaker 3 (03:03):
I'll tell you why. Okay, one star. Just don't unless
this is a gift for someone you hate. Oh man,
words cannot express what happened to me after eating these
the gummy bear cleans. If you are someone that can
that can tolerate the sugar substitute, enjoy. If you were
like the dozens of people that tried my order, run
(03:26):
first of all for taste, I would rate these a five.
So good, soft, true to taste, fruit flavors like the
sugar variety. I was a happy camper, but or should
I say, but with two teas. Not long after eating
about twenty of these, all hell broke loose, I had
a gastro intestinal experience like nothing I've ever imagined, cramps, sweating, bloating,
(03:51):
beyond my worst nightmare. I've had food poisoning from some
bad shellfish, and that was almost like a skip in
the park compared to what was going on inside me.
Then came the flatulence. Heavens to Murgatroyd, I don't even
know what that word means.
Speaker 2 (04:06):
Nice.
Speaker 3 (04:06):
The sounds like trumpets calling the demons back to hell.
The stench like one thousand rotten corpses vomited. I couldn't
stand to stay in one room for fear of succumbing
to my own owners. But wait, there's more. What came
out of me felt like someone tried to funnel Niagara
(04:29):
Falls through a coffee straw. I swear my sphincters were screaming.
It felt like my delicate starfish was a gaping more
what's a more m aw? Maybe a hole, A gaping
more projectile vomiting a torrential flood of toxic waste one
hundred percent liquid, flammable liquid napalm. It was actually a
(04:56):
bit humorous for a nanosecond, as it was just beyond
anything I imagine possible, and it went on for hours.
I felt violated when it was over, which I think
might have been sometime in the early morning of the
next day. There was stuff coming out of me that
I ate at my wedding in two thousand and five.
(05:19):
I had five pounds of these innocent looking, delicious tasting
hall bears. So I told a friend about what happened
to me, thinking it had to be some sort of
sensitivity I had to the sugar substitute, and in spite
of my warnings and graphic descriptions, she decided to take
her chances and take the hand who silly woman. All
of the same for her, and a phone call from
(05:42):
her while she was on the toilet telling me she
really wished she would have listened. I think she was crying.
Her sister was skeptical and suspected that we were exaggerating.
She took them to work since there was still ninety
nine percent of a five pound bag left. She works
for a construction company where they're all builders, roofers, house painters, landscapers,
et cetera. Lots of people who generally have limited access
(06:06):
to toilets on any given day. My god, I can't
imagine where all of these poor men and women pooped
that day. I keep envisioning men on roofs, crossing their
legs and trying to decide if they can make it
down the ladder or if they should just jump. If
you order these, best of luck to you, and please
don't post a video review during the after shocks. You
(06:26):
know what it is. It's I don't know if it's
artificial sweetener or the the one that's not bad for you,
because I went through a stage where I got addicted
to the sugar free mints.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
Ah yes, like your eclipse No, like ants.
Speaker 3 (06:44):
Like a like a minty.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
Ah oh yeah, yeah, I love a minty.
Speaker 3 (06:48):
Yes, but like a minty And I'm thinking, oh, they're
like a natural sugar free substitute. Yes, mate, I mean
they always upset my tummy.
Speaker 2 (06:58):
Yeah, they do to a lot of people. You have
too much of them. It's not bad. I mean it's
not good for your system. No, you can't. It's just
a known thing. Same as like the Eclipse mints. You
have too many. If my kids eat too many, might
you're gonna get diarrhea. But that review, I always shocked
people take time to do a review, let alone. That
was a long review for gummy bears.
Speaker 3 (07:20):
That's a person that's something I would do.
Speaker 2 (07:23):
That's like, yeah, I can see. And it was lyrically
genius as well. She was very good with her words.
Speaker 3 (07:28):
It's an album.
Speaker 2 (07:29):
Never ever written a review.
Speaker 3 (07:31):
Yeah, don't say that, because we asked people to review
at the end of.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
The show, and I'm going to start doing it for
other podcasts. But I've never written a review.
Speaker 3 (07:40):
No, I don't think I've ever written a review either.
I don't think.
Speaker 2 (07:43):
Well, the only time I have is when a friend
has sent me and said, oh, for their business, like
I need to get some reviews. Yeah, and I'll do
that for them. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (07:50):
Well I have almost shit myself though. Remember that time
I told you I used to work for a government
employment agency with people who were getting center Link to
try and find jobs, and then I'd contact the employer
on behalf of the person. Right, I had taken this tea,
it was like that, I mean, the worst name for
a tea. It was called like slim diet tea or something.
Speaker 2 (08:13):
Yeah, I remember those diet teas.
Speaker 3 (08:16):
And I, of course, when in hard straight away I
was like one tea bag, I'm going to do two.
They say steep it for five minutes. I'm gonna steep
mind for twenty Yeah, mate, I was in the middle
of seeing a kloient and I had to, like I
gripped onto my chair, like I had to tell him
to go because I said, oh, sorry, I think I'm
going to be sick. And you know what, I'm like
(08:37):
shitting anywhere but home. I sat in that toilet. I
was like crying. I couldn't stop. I'd take the next
day off work.
Speaker 2 (08:45):
Oh my god, you were that traumatized. And when you
tell me it was that bad.
Speaker 3 (08:49):
As in anything that when in came out water anything,
it would have just been pure laxative in that tea.
That's all it was. That's all it was. I mean
I got on the scal the next day and I
was like, oh you did Jesus remember that, like the
full dieting days where you'd give tea you go. I
did the cabbage diet, that act diet.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
Like anything you could think of. I would do so ridiculous,
it's terrible.
Speaker 3 (09:14):
I'll do a couple of really short ones and then
maybe next time I'll pick up and do it a
couple more because they're good.
Speaker 2 (09:19):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (09:20):
VAT for men hair removal jelf cream. This is from Dennis.
Dennis makes my fart sound louder. The hair must have
acted as an interlocking silencer. I give this a big
thumbs up, five out of five.
Speaker 2 (09:37):
Veted his bum hole, veted his asshole.
Speaker 3 (09:40):
Yeah yeah, Actually here's a recommendation that he is a
gross you know what, let's just keep this to the theme.
Speaker 2 (09:48):
Yeah bum bums.
Speaker 3 (09:49):
Okay, I found I need to I'll put the link
in the show notes if anyone else is interested. I
found a proctologist, which is a bum doctor. Yes, on YouTube, right,
it came up in my you know recommended.
Speaker 2 (10:04):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (10:06):
Anyway, there were things that I had no idea about
when it came to asses, and like it's it's like
a wealth of information. These doctors and stuff that come
on and do these videos. I'm like, thank you, because
this is free information that you usually have to go
to a specialist for.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
Like I knew that your.
Speaker 3 (10:29):
Ass was, you know, a sensitive place. But I'm quite
aggressive with my wiping, right, Like I just get right
in there, I get right in there. But he was
saying how the skin there is so delicate, It's like
the skin on your lips. Also, like with the issue
of wiping, about how moisture is always going to be
(10:51):
the best way to get My dad just got a
bidet put in. I have a bidet? Do you in
my en suite? And I have never used it?
Speaker 2 (11:00):
Maybe you should start. The days are apparently the whole
way to go.
Speaker 3 (11:04):
I used it the other day. I think it's going
to change my life. So I don't even know how
to use it. I'm like, I said to Mark, is
this thing connected? Because it's a separate one, so like
now you can buy it like an attachment onto your
toilet or whatever. This is like an old fashioned separate
one next to the toilet. I said to me, I
don't even had to fucking use this thing. Is it
connected to water? He's like yeah, anyway again, watched a
(11:26):
YouTube tutorial. People use them very differently. Some people don't
wipe their ass at all. Not They just go from yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:34):
No, I'm not doing that, Well that's what that's the
whole thing of the bidet. You don't know, and then
you just don't. You then just use like a cloth
or something and wipe your date after you've used the bidet.
Speaker 3 (11:44):
No, I think the bidet is like what I see
it like an extra layer, right, so I'll wipe myself
and then you get on and you wash yourself.
Speaker 2 (11:57):
Do you just sit on it like a toilet and
then push button?
Speaker 3 (12:01):
This is the thing. I think it's so the well,
the one that I've got that it's like a mixer
tap like you have in your kitchen, so you can
have a lifty one yep, and depending on how much
you know, like how much pressure is how much the
spout comes out. But a woman, I think you would
have to almost be front facing because well, when you
(12:23):
think about it, well, this is what this is. It's
been a whole learning curve because it's like the way
our bodies are if you're and I guess it's the
same principles if you're in the shower, but it's like
then having to lean forward for the water to go there.
But I'm like, then the water will run down and
then I don't want that water to then go vagina.
Speaker 2 (12:45):
I would never think that, right.
Speaker 3 (12:47):
Yes, anyway, I straddled it.
Speaker 4 (12:50):
Do you know what I said to Mark? It was
like I got into a fucking trance. It wasn't like
a sexual thing. It was like the warm water so
it's hitting my.
Speaker 3 (13:03):
Volver and just sitting there and.
Speaker 4 (13:05):
I said to mark.
Speaker 3 (13:07):
It was such a beautiful feeling. I just sat there
for about five minutes. It was almost therapeutic.
Speaker 2 (13:14):
Yeah right, I'm like, I think I'm into it. Or
do it, mate, you've got one there, you should definitely
do it. And if it's like a comforting vulver hug,
do it.
Speaker 3 (13:24):
I know. But I'm just like, oh, it's the having to.
I don't know if I have to buy more face washes,
because then you have to try it off.
Speaker 2 (13:31):
And then you have to wash the face washers. You
don't want to double use a face washer, do you,
But although it's very clean, you could.
Speaker 3 (13:36):
I will tell you something very funny though, and then
we'll go sorry, because this is a long, lucky dip
I had you. I picked up one of my white
face washers from the linen cupboard and I had it
there and I hadn't really looked at it. And I
got off the thing and I wiped my ass, and
I'm so graffy. I looked at the I think we.
(13:58):
I think the people that are still here I invested.
Speaker 2 (14:02):
So many have tuned out.
Speaker 3 (14:03):
So I look at this white face washer. It's fucking brown.
I was like, what's happening? Like I'm thinking this is ship.
It was fake tan. It was stained from fight ten.
I said to Mark, I go up to him and
go I just used the bidet and he goes, oh,
how was it? I said, look at this. He goes,
(14:25):
what the F? And then I said, said yourself, that's
so funny.
Speaker 2 (14:35):
All right, everyone, thank you for listening in. If you're
still there after that, like some people are so not
pee wee human.
Speaker 3 (14:41):
They would have tuned out, so sorry.
Speaker 2 (14:45):
But if you're still there, thank you for listening and
we'll be chatting to you very soon. Bye.
Speaker 3 (14:50):
Love you
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