June 2, 2025 • 12 mins
Welcome to Lucky Dip - our bite-sized weekly (sometimes fortnightly) pod! Each ep, we'll take turns sticking our mitts into the goodie bucket and unwrapping a topic to chinwag about. You never know what you're gonna get, so enjoy five minutes of randomness that we hope will bring a lil' nugget of joy to your day. Enjoy!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
It's Lucky Lucky dip time. It is Malan your friend monkey.
Thanks for listening today.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Well, what's that movie where he says, are you feeling lucky?
Speaker 1 (00:19):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
No, it's an old movie. I think they play it
in home alone. Ah, are you feeling lucky? Oh?
Speaker 1 (00:27):
No, I don't know it. But are you feeling.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
Cutting all that out?
Speaker 1 (00:32):
No, you are not staying in It is mala monte.
This is like you did where we just randomly picked
something to chat about for a little bit, little bite
size morsel of a podcast for you. So thanks for listening.
A little A few ago, we did Unhinged Parenting hacks mail.
You found some online that were so fucking funny and
(00:54):
we put them up on our Instagram and dare I
say we went viral with it?
Speaker 2 (01:00):
I don't know if it's happened quite on that level before.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
I don't know. You know what, when we used to
write we had a website for Chontelle. I know a
lot of you have been with this from the beginning,
but if you haven't, we had a website that's what
Chaontel was originally, where we'd write yes, And one of
the pieces that went viral was is my vagina normal?
And remember every week it was the most red piece
and it went so fucking game buster that our Facebook
(01:27):
was at like four hundred thousand likes it still is followers,
and a majority of it was from that one vagina piece.
Speaker 2 (01:35):
I think I might have said this before, but prior
to that, and this is me as an adult woman
in my thirties. Back then, I didn't realize that there
were innies and outies.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
Oh that's right. I thought it was all just in in.
I didn't you know your vagina is a nice, little, compact,
little temple.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
Well yeah, I mean they're all They're all beautiful, aren't they.
Speaker 1 (02:00):
They're all cruel.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
That's funny, It's true, it's not. It's not. I don't
think either part of male or female is they're discussing
for just to look at neither.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
Yuck. I don't eat that even, like, you know, big,
Like I don't find it attractive a guy having a
big bulge in his gray trackies or anything like that.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
Neither do I. And the appeal of a big dick
is so weird to me because I'm like, if it's
that big, it's probably not even going to get in
the whole way.
Speaker 1 (02:35):
Well, you don't want it teeny tiny, but you don't
want it huge either.
Speaker 2 (02:39):
You just want I think I think this is where
mister average.
Speaker 1 (02:42):
Yes, you just want average. I feel like that's what
you want in every aspect of life, to be honest, Like,
you don't want you want pretty average in everything. Like
it'd be nice to be excellent in some areas, but
if your average, you kind of just cruise through. And
I think that's a good place to be.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
Ah. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know, because like
what do they say, like, don't rest on your laurels? Look,
I don't know, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
I don't know. Anyway, So a lot of you got
back to us with your unhinged parenting hacks on what
yours were. So I've written out four of them. There's
so there's thousands on there, I think, or at least hundreds.
So go through and read themcause some are funny. She's
one that somebody sent through. I sent it to you
though it was so I gasped. I screenshot it and
(03:31):
sent it to mal. Should I read that out? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (03:34):
Read it because it's when you sent me that I
thought to myself, maybe this is a terrified mother whose
kids are just not fucking listening and running off constantly,
and she's like, I have to pull out the big
guns here.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
I know, seriously, this it's almost not funny because it's
borderline abuse, let's be honest. But the other ones are funny,
but this one. We would run from my mum in
the stores and hiding the clothing racks. She would tell
us if we left her side, a bad guy would
take us, slid us from top to bottom, fill us
with pig food while still alive, and pigs would eat
(04:08):
out our guts. So to avoid this, we didn't leave
her side. Whoa, whoa, it's so heavy.
Speaker 2 (04:16):
This is the scary thing. How did she even come
up with that?
Speaker 1 (04:21):
That's what I mean. It's so dark, but it is.
It is like, I'm so terrified of losing my kids.
I'm going to scare you to with an inch of
your life that you don't leave me.
Speaker 2 (04:30):
Oh my god, what a bunch of assholes we were though,
Like I remember hiding in the clothing racks. Remember they
used to be circular, yes, yes, and used to be
able to sort of nestle in there. Yeah, we did
that a few times. And this was back in the
day where you could just like hit eke it in public.
Speaker 1 (04:49):
Don't you ever run off again? Whack, and you'd be
eating your fucking mister Whippy ice cream, just licking at crying.
So here's some other unhinged parenting hacks. I feel like
every parent has one for McDonald's, you know, like a
lot of people are like, no, if the sign's yellow,
(05:10):
that means it's closed. This mum used to tell her
kids that McDonald's was only for people who were out
of from out of town because they didn't have kitchens. Genius.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
That's so smart. That's so smart.
Speaker 1 (05:25):
This is great. If anything would mysteriously go wrong around
the house, Mum would pull out her blush brush and
say she was dusting for prints. Then whoever did it
would confess so good. I remember, this is so weird.
Talk about building trust with your kids. I used to
tell my kids there were cameras, so if they really yeah,
(05:45):
if there if they were fighting like they used to
have like a playroom, and I would say to them,
tell me the truth or I'm going to go check
the cameras and once I see who really pulled the
other one's hair. Ah, that is so funny. I love it.
Another one, when her son called out, she'd say, I
can't come to you. I have a bone in my leg,
and he'd think it must be really painful, so he'd
(06:07):
stop yelling out.
Speaker 2 (06:09):
Well, she wasn't technically lying on it.
Speaker 1 (06:11):
She was not lying. But that's so funny. I'm like,
that's something I would have thought when I was a kid.
Oh no, mom's got a bone in her leg. I
can't Finally, I can't yell out to her anymore. This
one's great. This lady's second child would unbuckle his seat
belt all the time, so she had a siren sound
effect on her phone, and when he would start to unbuckle,
she'd play the sound effects slowly and quietly, and then
(06:34):
would increase it as he would keep taking it off,
and be like, oh, the police are coming. They can
see that you've unbuckled your seat belt.
Speaker 2 (06:43):
Do you know what? That's so good and so funny.
But I did read something once when my kids were little,
how they were saying the worst thing to do with
kides is say like, oh, the police are going to
come and get you, because then they're scared of the police.
Speaker 1 (06:55):
The police, Yes, they're there to help mind you. I
still am my sister as a cop, but I still
whenever I see a police on the road, if it's
behind me or anything, I'm so uber aware and nervous.
Speaker 2 (07:10):
Yeah, it's same. I've never I don't think I've ever
actually been pulled over, but that would be embarrassing.
Speaker 1 (07:16):
I've been pulled over. I have been pulled over several
times for of course, talking on my phone, and the
fine is so hectic, but I just try and sweet
talk my way out of it constantly, and I'm like,
I'm just so sorry. It's worked once or twice, but
I have been pulled over a couple of times. I
always still get nervous going through a booze bus as well.
Speaker 2 (07:37):
Oh I do too, because I've heard of people who
have Like obviously they find out with the blood test
and everything afterwards, but people who have eaten like cherry
ripe or like a throat lozenge that have had something.
It's the humiliation of, even if it's a fuck up,
people seeing you being one of the cars on the
(07:59):
side of.
Speaker 1 (07:59):
The yeah, having to pull in, like oh you just
pull in, please. But I hate when I get ushered
in where they're like in and I'm like, no, I
just don't want to and then breathe, and you're like
you get nervous that you're not gonna have enough breath
to breathe.
Speaker 2 (08:16):
I think I've only been breath tested once. Oh wow,
and you know what, I did a whole It was
so embarrassing. I think I was nervous exactly what you said,
Like I hadn't been drinking, but I was like, oh no,
oh no, did I have a drink and not otmember
It was so and I was like, oh, this is
my first time. How exciting, Like a real fucking bimbo.
(08:38):
And the guy's just like not even looking at me,
just going blowing.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
To hear love no, because normally they're like the rookies
that do the like the ones that have just come
out of the academy and the ones who usually do
the drive through tests.
Speaker 2 (08:51):
Yeah, that'd be a shit job, But imagine how much
you could Oh no, that's wrong. I was gonna say,
you could pick up. That's an ethic.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
I don't know if they'd be one cop who's picked
up doing the breathalyzers. I love to know random to
think of that. Oh you could pick up, but it
would be like, because you can tell a lot by
somebody with the state of their car. So just looking
into people's cars, I would like that. I would look
around and be like, Oh, that's interesting, they've got their
car in this state.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
I heard Chris Jenna say this that like you can
tell someone's organizational skills by the state of their car.
M mind fucked? What was your?
Speaker 1 (09:30):
Was yours? Like off the rick d It's.
Speaker 2 (09:34):
It's not as I've always said this because I disagree
with that, because I think my car is my outlet
almost like I'm embarrassed if my house is messy, but
my car, I'm like, oh, it's just my car. Yeah,
but it used it used to be so bad. It's
not so bad now that I've got kids, funnily enough,
(09:56):
But when I was young and you know, single and whatever,
my car I reckon. I could have lived in there
for three months and had like everything you need loads,
that's my little sake, shit everywhere like a hobo.
Speaker 1 (10:09):
I just I am shook with that because if I
got in the car and it was like that, like
if I have too much rubbish in there, it clutters
my brain. My car's filthy. Don't get me wrong, but
because there's always kids eating in there. The rubbish piles
up and then I have to just get it out.
But my little sister, it's like everything she owns is
in her car, everything, and she's like, what if I
(10:30):
need it, Like because she's single and stuff, She's like,
I don't have it in here all the time. Doesn't
have any kids, so she's like, anything I need is
in here. I get in there, and I'm like, what
the hell If I ask her to like literally take
one of the kids somewhere, She'll have to go out
and shuffle stuff around in her car to be able
to take one of the kids.
Speaker 2 (10:47):
Remember when you had this was again going back to
the Show and Tell website days and you used to
do that on the couch interviews and you had me
a freedman. Yes you're bad like that you offered for
Brooke to take her back to her hotel on behalf
of brook Brook's car was filthy, and she was so embarrassed.
(11:08):
But also, you've done that to me before too. Go oh,
mal will take you. We're really have I did Karla
who used to work with us her fortieth and we
were all there and there was another person who used
to write for us occasionally a younger girl. She was
saying about I don't know, I don't know where she
had to go, but you like, we're all leaving and
(11:29):
you go, oh, Mal will drop you off, and I'm
what the fuck am I gonna say?
Speaker 1 (11:35):
Yeah? Sure, thanks, I'm very generous with other people doing
things for other people.
Speaker 2 (11:43):
You're so generous with other people's times.
Speaker 1 (11:47):
Oh, that's so funny.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
That's funny.
Speaker 1 (11:49):
Anyway, Okay, if you've got any more unhinged parenting hacks,
let's keep this going because it is so fucking funny and.
Speaker 2 (11:56):
Many good ones and.
Speaker 1 (11:57):
So many good ones. And I'll go through the Instagram
again and get some for another time. But thank you
for listening. Hope you're well. Hit us up anytime. Show
and Tell Podcasts is where you can find us on Instagram.
Send us a message. Also if you can give us
a rating or a comment wherever you listen to your podcasts.
It's so helpful because it just kind of pushes our
podcast out to more people. So we're grateful for that. Anyway,
(12:20):
We'll chat to you soon by for now, Love you
It's Lucky Lucky dip time. It is Malan your friend monkey.
Thanks for listening today.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Well, what's that movie where he says, are you feeling lucky?
Speaker 1 (00:19):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
No, it's an old movie. I think they play it
in home alone. Ah, are you feeling lucky? Oh?
Speaker 1 (00:27):
No, I don't know it. But are you feeling.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
Cutting all that out?
Speaker 1 (00:32):
No, you are not staying in It is mala monte.
This is like you did where we just randomly picked
something to chat about for a little bit, little bite
size morsel of a podcast for you. So thanks for listening.
A little A few ago, we did Unhinged Parenting hacks mail.
You found some online that were so fucking funny and
(00:54):
we put them up on our Instagram and dare I
say we went viral with it?
Speaker 2 (01:00):
I don't know if it's happened quite on that level before.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
I don't know. You know what, when we used to
write we had a website for Chontelle. I know a
lot of you have been with this from the beginning,
but if you haven't, we had a website that's what
Chaontel was originally, where we'd write yes, And one of
the pieces that went viral was is my vagina normal?
And remember every week it was the most red piece
and it went so fucking game buster that our Facebook
(01:27):
was at like four hundred thousand likes it still is followers,
and a majority of it was from that one vagina piece.
Speaker 2 (01:35):
I think I might have said this before, but prior
to that, and this is me as an adult woman
in my thirties. Back then, I didn't realize that there
were innies and outies.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
Oh that's right. I thought it was all just in in.
I didn't you know your vagina is a nice, little, compact,
little temple.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
Well yeah, I mean they're all They're all beautiful, aren't they.
Speaker 1 (02:00):
They're all cruel.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
That's funny, It's true, it's not. It's not. I don't
think either part of male or female is they're discussing
for just to look at neither.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
Yuck. I don't eat that even, like, you know, big,
Like I don't find it attractive a guy having a
big bulge in his gray trackies or anything like that.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
Neither do I. And the appeal of a big dick
is so weird to me because I'm like, if it's
that big, it's probably not even going to get in
the whole way.
Speaker 1 (02:35):
Well, you don't want it teeny tiny, but you don't
want it huge either.
Speaker 2 (02:39):
You just want I think I think this is where
mister average.
Speaker 1 (02:42):
Yes, you just want average. I feel like that's what
you want in every aspect of life, to be honest, Like,
you don't want you want pretty average in everything. Like
it'd be nice to be excellent in some areas, but
if your average, you kind of just cruise through. And
I think that's a good place to be.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
Ah. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know, because like
what do they say, like, don't rest on your laurels? Look,
I don't know, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
I don't know. Anyway, So a lot of you got
back to us with your unhinged parenting hacks on what
yours were. So I've written out four of them. There's
so there's thousands on there, I think, or at least hundreds.
So go through and read themcause some are funny. She's
one that somebody sent through. I sent it to you
though it was so I gasped. I screenshot it and
(03:31):
sent it to mal. Should I read that out? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (03:34):
Read it because it's when you sent me that I
thought to myself, maybe this is a terrified mother whose
kids are just not fucking listening and running off constantly,
and she's like, I have to pull out the big
guns here.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
I know, seriously, this it's almost not funny because it's
borderline abuse, let's be honest. But the other ones are funny,
but this one. We would run from my mum in
the stores and hiding the clothing racks. She would tell
us if we left her side, a bad guy would
take us, slid us from top to bottom, fill us
with pig food while still alive, and pigs would eat
(04:08):
out our guts. So to avoid this, we didn't leave
her side. Whoa, whoa, it's so heavy.
Speaker 2 (04:16):
This is the scary thing. How did she even come
up with that?
Speaker 1 (04:21):
That's what I mean. It's so dark, but it is.
It is like, I'm so terrified of losing my kids.
I'm going to scare you to with an inch of
your life that you don't leave me.
Speaker 2 (04:30):
Oh my god, what a bunch of assholes we were though,
Like I remember hiding in the clothing racks. Remember they
used to be circular, yes, yes, and used to be
able to sort of nestle in there. Yeah, we did
that a few times. And this was back in the
day where you could just like hit eke it in public.
Speaker 1 (04:49):
Don't you ever run off again? Whack, and you'd be
eating your fucking mister Whippy ice cream, just licking at crying.
So here's some other unhinged parenting hacks. I feel like
every parent has one for McDonald's, you know, like a
lot of people are like, no, if the sign's yellow,
(05:10):
that means it's closed. This mum used to tell her
kids that McDonald's was only for people who were out
of from out of town because they didn't have kitchens. Genius.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
That's so smart. That's so smart.
Speaker 1 (05:25):
This is great. If anything would mysteriously go wrong around
the house, Mum would pull out her blush brush and
say she was dusting for prints. Then whoever did it
would confess so good. I remember, this is so weird.
Talk about building trust with your kids. I used to
tell my kids there were cameras, so if they really yeah,
(05:45):
if there if they were fighting like they used to
have like a playroom, and I would say to them,
tell me the truth or I'm going to go check
the cameras and once I see who really pulled the
other one's hair. Ah, that is so funny. I love it.
Another one, when her son called out, she'd say, I
can't come to you. I have a bone in my leg,
and he'd think it must be really painful, so he'd
(06:07):
stop yelling out.
Speaker 2 (06:09):
Well, she wasn't technically lying on it.
Speaker 1 (06:11):
She was not lying. But that's so funny. I'm like,
that's something I would have thought when I was a kid.
Oh no, mom's got a bone in her leg. I
can't Finally, I can't yell out to her anymore. This
one's great. This lady's second child would unbuckle his seat
belt all the time, so she had a siren sound
effect on her phone, and when he would start to unbuckle,
she'd play the sound effects slowly and quietly, and then
(06:34):
would increase it as he would keep taking it off,
and be like, oh, the police are coming. They can
see that you've unbuckled your seat belt.
Speaker 2 (06:43):
Do you know what? That's so good and so funny.
But I did read something once when my kids were little,
how they were saying the worst thing to do with
kides is say like, oh, the police are going to
come and get you, because then they're scared of the police.
Speaker 1 (06:55):
The police, Yes, they're there to help mind you. I
still am my sister as a cop, but I still
whenever I see a police on the road, if it's
behind me or anything, I'm so uber aware and nervous.
Speaker 2 (07:10):
Yeah, it's same. I've never I don't think I've ever
actually been pulled over, but that would be embarrassing.
Speaker 1 (07:16):
I've been pulled over. I have been pulled over several
times for of course, talking on my phone, and the
fine is so hectic, but I just try and sweet
talk my way out of it constantly, and I'm like,
I'm just so sorry. It's worked once or twice, but
I have been pulled over a couple of times. I
always still get nervous going through a booze bus as well.
Speaker 2 (07:37):
Oh I do too, because I've heard of people who
have Like obviously they find out with the blood test
and everything afterwards, but people who have eaten like cherry
ripe or like a throat lozenge that have had something.
It's the humiliation of, even if it's a fuck up,
people seeing you being one of the cars on the
(07:59):
side of.
Speaker 1 (07:59):
The yeah, having to pull in, like oh you just
pull in, please. But I hate when I get ushered
in where they're like in and I'm like, no, I
just don't want to and then breathe, and you're like
you get nervous that you're not gonna have enough breath
to breathe.
Speaker 2 (08:16):
I think I've only been breath tested once. Oh wow,
and you know what, I did a whole It was
so embarrassing. I think I was nervous exactly what you said,
Like I hadn't been drinking, but I was like, oh no,
oh no, did I have a drink and not otmember
It was so and I was like, oh, this is
my first time. How exciting, Like a real fucking bimbo.
(08:38):
And the guy's just like not even looking at me,
just going blowing.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
To hear love no, because normally they're like the rookies
that do the like the ones that have just come
out of the academy and the ones who usually do
the drive through tests.
Speaker 2 (08:51):
Yeah, that'd be a shit job, But imagine how much
you could Oh no, that's wrong. I was gonna say,
you could pick up. That's an ethic.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
I don't know if they'd be one cop who's picked
up doing the breathalyzers. I love to know random to
think of that. Oh you could pick up, but it
would be like, because you can tell a lot by
somebody with the state of their car. So just looking
into people's cars, I would like that. I would look
around and be like, Oh, that's interesting, they've got their
car in this state.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
I heard Chris Jenna say this that like you can
tell someone's organizational skills by the state of their car.
M mind fucked? What was your?
Speaker 1 (09:30):
Was yours? Like off the rick d It's.
Speaker 2 (09:34):
It's not as I've always said this because I disagree
with that, because I think my car is my outlet
almost like I'm embarrassed if my house is messy, but
my car, I'm like, oh, it's just my car. Yeah,
but it used it used to be so bad. It's
not so bad now that I've got kids, funnily enough,
(09:56):
But when I was young and you know, single and whatever,
my car I reckon. I could have lived in there
for three months and had like everything you need loads,
that's my little sake, shit everywhere like a hobo.
Speaker 1 (10:09):
I just I am shook with that because if I
got in the car and it was like that, like
if I have too much rubbish in there, it clutters
my brain. My car's filthy. Don't get me wrong, but
because there's always kids eating in there. The rubbish piles
up and then I have to just get it out.
But my little sister, it's like everything she owns is
in her car, everything, and she's like, what if I
(10:30):
need it, Like because she's single and stuff, She's like,
I don't have it in here all the time. Doesn't
have any kids, so she's like, anything I need is
in here. I get in there, and I'm like, what
the hell If I ask her to like literally take
one of the kids somewhere, She'll have to go out
and shuffle stuff around in her car to be able
to take one of the kids.
Speaker 2 (10:47):
Remember when you had this was again going back to
the Show and Tell website days and you used to
do that on the couch interviews and you had me
a freedman. Yes you're bad like that you offered for
Brooke to take her back to her hotel on behalf
of brook Brook's car was filthy, and she was so embarrassed.
(11:08):
But also, you've done that to me before too. Go oh,
mal will take you. We're really have I did Karla
who used to work with us her fortieth and we
were all there and there was another person who used
to write for us occasionally a younger girl. She was
saying about I don't know, I don't know where she
had to go, but you like, we're all leaving and
(11:29):
you go, oh, Mal will drop you off, and I'm
what the fuck am I gonna say?
Speaker 1 (11:35):
Yeah? Sure, thanks, I'm very generous with other people doing
things for other people.
Speaker 2 (11:43):
You're so generous with other people's times.
Speaker 1 (11:47):
Oh, that's so funny.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
That's funny.
Speaker 1 (11:49):
Anyway, Okay, if you've got any more unhinged parenting hacks,
let's keep this going because it is so fucking funny and.
Speaker 2 (11:56):
Many good ones and.
Speaker 1 (11:57):
So many good ones. And I'll go through the Instagram
again and get some for another time. But thank you
for listening. Hope you're well. Hit us up anytime. Show
and Tell Podcasts is where you can find us on Instagram.
Send us a message. Also if you can give us
a rating or a comment wherever you listen to your podcasts.
It's so helpful because it just kind of pushes our
podcast out to more people. So we're grateful for that. Anyway,
(12:20):
We'll chat to you soon by for now, Love you
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