All Episodes

July 28, 2025 • 12 mins

WARNING: THIS EPISODE IS MORE EXPLICIT THAN THE USUAL, SO IF YOU'RE OFFENDED BY SMUT, WE SUGGEST YOU SKIP THIS ONE. 

Welcome to Lucky Dip - our bite-sized weekly (sometimes fortnightly) pod! Each ep, we'll take turns sticking our mitts into the goodie bucket and unwrapping a topic to chinwag about. You never know what you're gonna get, so enjoy five minutes of randomness that we hope will bring a lil' nugget of joy to your day. Enjoy!

Fancy supporting us on Patreon? Find out more here.

Follow us and get in touch on Instagram here.

Follow us on Facebook here.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Mark as Played
Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hi, everybody. It's mal Monte's head has been really playing
up again, so we haven't had a chance to record.
So I am dropping in a Patreon episode from back
in May, I think, and in it we are a
bit looser than usual, if you can imagine. But this
particular episode is about sexy books. Now, if you listen

(00:23):
to us with your kids around, or you're offended by
language or sex talk, this is not the episode for you.
You know, come back on Thursday, to which I'll say,
Thursday's episode is a special one, something I haven't done
for some time. Big clue. Anyway, this is an episode
from back in May that is part of our Patreon Again. Warning,

(00:48):
its graphic, so if you don't like that stuff, don't listen.
But if you do, enjoy the patriums. You're our best friends.
We love you.

Speaker 2 (01:04):
Want to have a dinner party, I'll cook a rolls lamb.

Speaker 1 (01:10):
Hi everyone. Fuck that's exhausting. I'm just going to get
right into it. I've been dying to share this. Oh
my god. So I haven't read for a long time,
and I used to read so much. I just haven't read.
I feel like for years I haven't read. Yeah, I go.

Speaker 2 (01:32):
Through years where I'm hectically into books and then I
just get out of it. I also think it's where
your mental health is, to be honest, because I find
it hard to concentrate on a book when my brain's
buzzing too much, which is when you should be reading.

Speaker 1 (01:47):
Really yes, and I feel like there's other things I
should be doing instead of reading. But on top of that,
it's like the decision fatigue of trying to find a
book that is just yes, like what am I going
to read? And you know it usually takes a while
to get into a book no. But the other night

(02:07):
I was like, I want to read some smart oh, yes,
I want any board. Yes, So I did a quick google.
Fifty Shades of Gray wasn't really my jam. It wasn't
fifty Shades of Gray. You know, people say, oh, so
badly written. I mean, how well written can a sex
book be? I used to get annoyed at that.

Speaker 2 (02:29):
It's like, who cares you're not reading it because it's
fantastic literature, Like you're doing it to get Vagina Tingles.
I was in Bali when the book was huge, and
just every woman around the pool reading it and I
couldn't help. But go, oh, you're getting full funny tingles
while you.

Speaker 1 (02:45):
Reading that, Like, you can't not. I only read the
first book, right, And Mark would say to me, even
though I said I didn't really do much for me,
could say to me, I could tell when you're reading
them book that is so f And also how many
different words for dick are there? Yeah, like what are

(03:05):
you gonna anyway? So I found this book like, not
that it necessarily had a high rating, but it was like, oh,
this book is fucking like every page is just filthy.
And I was really, yeah, right, I'm into it, but
this is the thing. So I just got it on

(03:26):
I got it on my phone. But the thing with
our phones are that like Mark's credit card is attached
to all the phones. Yes, so I went to buy
it and it's saying, oh, I've got to put in
his you know, the CVV number or whatever in the
back of the credit card. And I'm like, I don't
care that he knows I'm reading it. It was the

(03:46):
title of the book. Oh god, it made me uncomfortable.
The title of the book is your dad will do
He's like, you don't have to fucking explain it to me,
And I said no, no, no, I do have to
yea for myself here for myself, I have to explain
it to you. The very loose plot line is the
woman's in her twenties. She's engaged to this guy. He

(04:07):
cheats on her, so as revenge, she starts fucking his dad.
Oh god, but the dad is not like our father
in laws. The dad is in his forties. Yeah. I
was gonna say he's a younger dad. The dad's in
our age group, right, Oh my god? Really, so what
to like? Every page of the dad in the herd?

(04:28):
It is you know, sometimes you start to read a
book and people go, oh, this book's really sexy, and
I'm like, okay, well I'm on chapter eight and they
still haven't had sex yet. Yeah, I get into it quicker, Yes,
but this is constant to the point where I'm like,
I would need a vagina transplant if I was having

(04:48):
this much sex, like having sex and then just going
and going that it's like five times in one session,
And I'm like, that doesn't is it long? I don't
like like long. There needs to be a sense of
realism to it to me, and this seems unrealistic. But also,
the dad's name oh God is Shane and I can't remember.

Speaker 2 (05:13):
You used to write pawn like reality porn for Sean
Tell the website and.

Speaker 1 (05:20):
His name was Shane. No, his name was Trent. Trent No, no,
Todd Todd. The kid's name was Trent.

Speaker 2 (05:27):
Do you still have those because we closed the side down?
Did you save them? Can you please get one and
read one?

Speaker 1 (05:33):
I think I do. I have. I have read a
couple on you have, but get one.

Speaker 2 (05:37):
I don't remember them and I want to do it again.
So next Patreon, can you please get one? Yeah, I'll
see if I saved it. I'll see if I saved that.

Speaker 1 (05:44):
So good. But I'm just like I'm reading it and
it is like I should have known by the name.
Oh I, this is revealing a lot. I don't have
an issue with, like the dominating thing, Like the being
told what to do to me is sexy. It's not
that it's like every time it's okay, daddy, I'm gonna

(06:06):
be your naughty girl, daddy, and I'm like, no, I'm
losing it.

Speaker 2 (06:14):
Yeah, that's not cool. The daddy starts disgusting because it's
like he is their dad.

Speaker 1 (06:20):
This is the thing he could bothering law he could
be it could be your dad. But even the language
of it, like they speak in a way that you
would never speak like. And I'm not talking about dirty talk.
I'm talking about like I'll read you, I'll read you
this one paragraph. Okay, I'm assuming if you're part of

(06:41):
our Patreon, you're not going to be easily offended. But anyway,
Shane squeezes my ass cheeks. Shane, I just can't get
with that name. Okay. His hands are so big he
only has to shift slightly for his thumbs to brush
my pussy. Yeah, he parts me slowly. Who are you

(07:01):
planning on fucking in this slutty outfit? Baby girl? And
he calls her baby girl all the time, which is
also an issue for me. I don't like it, hang
on because you didn't put it on solely to run
errands with me? Who the fuck uses the word errands
as American that it doesn't matter. It's that sort of stuff,
like using the word like mound and stuff like that,

(07:22):
And I'm like, I can't, I can't get into it.
It's not real language, which again is why, and I
don't have the time and I won't do it, but
I'm like, I think I could do better.

Speaker 2 (07:33):
Why don't you do it?

Speaker 1 (07:34):
Mate?

Speaker 2 (07:35):
People out women our age are just s gagging for
sexy books. And yeah, a bit realistic, more realistic than
you know, a man saying let's go run errands and
brushing her pusse.

Speaker 1 (07:47):
It's the same thing over and over again. And it's
like there's no build up. It's just straight to them.

Speaker 2 (07:52):
And that's the thing is you need the build up.
It is like same in romantic comedies when they get together.
It's an anti climax. You need the build up. A
friend sent me this the other day because she's right
into the fairy porn. I forget what it's.

Speaker 1 (08:04):
Called, the Cord of Crown and whatever. Again, she's like,
you just.

Speaker 2 (08:09):
Got to get through the first book. I'm like, the
first book. I would get through the first two chapters
and then if it gives it to me, great, If not,
I'm out. But she sent this book and.

Speaker 1 (08:20):
Whispering because braces through the wall. Even thought I saw this,
recommended the ice hockey series to me. Fealthy, you're parting
around healthy. So I was like, I'd love to read
the ice hockey books because I used to watch Mighty
Ducks and stuff like people love an ice hockey thing. Also,

(08:42):
the titles cracked me up. This one's called pucking Around.
And anyway, as as the felthiest book read my life,
I was reading it at the theaters the other day
and I was like, I need to put this down
because she reads this over my shoulder. She is going
absolutely can shock how good packing Around? I downloaded a

(09:06):
sample you know you could there was no sex in
it after the sample, which is like, I don't know
how many pages it was, but no real and I'm like, nah,
too long. And also, well, you want the build up.
You're a bit hard to please. You want the build up.
I want the build up, but the build up has
to be sexy. It has to be like you know

(09:29):
what was sexy again? Took too long to get into
you know Verity? I loved Verity. Okay, the build up
with them again took too long. But that sort of thing,
the anticipation is what I like, because yes, like boom that.
But there's a few of Colleen Hoovers are like that.

Speaker 2 (09:49):
I'd love a Colleen Hoover book, but give us almost
about to kiss or touching or give us.

Speaker 1 (09:56):
That no anyway, And also I'm not interested in ice hockey,
and I'm sure the ice hockey isn't like such a
big component. Same as that fairy book that you're talking about.
Your friend recommended the fairies put me off. I'm like, yeah,
I know, but I think they become secondary. I don't
think it really. She's like, they're amazing. And then there's
the dragon.

Speaker 2 (10:16):
Once or something. Another friend is like, oh my god,
I have like pulsing vagina when I read it. Anyway,
my son works at the local bookshop. My friend sent this.
I'm like, I cannot get him to get it.

Speaker 1 (10:28):
She's like, oh, why not, I'll have to go in.

Speaker 2 (10:33):
You have to order those kind of ones online because
the people in the bookshop shop know that you just
after a cheap thrill.

Speaker 1 (10:40):
Yeah, and like, what's wrong with that as well? Like
it's embarrassing, But I also do think they are tools
at our disposal. Yeah, Like, if he picks up your
horniness a bit, do it. It's a all round win.
It isn't.

Speaker 2 (10:55):
You're totally right, it is an all round win. I'm
gonna get pucking around.

Speaker 1 (10:59):
Yeah, get it and let me know. But read the
sample first. And there's a collection. I think there's a
few of them, which is, yeah, you like when there's
a few. I like when there's a few. But I
would never read on my phone, like I would never
in a million years read on my phone. I love
an old school book and I will never deviate to
what are those other things? Kindles or doing it on
my phone? So do I. But I'm also aware of

(11:21):
the fact there is not much privacy in a house
with teenagers. They snoop around in all your shit. Oh yeah, and.

Speaker 2 (11:27):
Loves to know what books I'm reading.

Speaker 1 (11:29):
What are you reading, mom?

Speaker 2 (11:30):
Yeah, totally yeah, And he brings me read that at
work on my break.

Speaker 1 (11:35):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (11:36):
There's a books like a shelf out the back where
the damaged books go. And he brings home like literally
six every week, which is so gorgeous because I know
he's been thinking about it. And he'll be like, here, Mom,
I got you this book.

Speaker 1 (11:47):
But they're never the ones I really want.

Speaker 2 (11:49):
And I'm like, thanks, mate.

Speaker 1 (11:50):
So then I'll give it a reason. You're reading that book.
I'm like, yep, I'm giving it a go.

Speaker 2 (11:54):
And then I read like a chapter and I put
it in the pile to take to the optrop.

Speaker 1 (11:58):
He's like, stop putting them into the This is what
you do. You use that book you download, pucking around
onto your phone. You put it inside the book so
he thinks you're reading it, and then you're like, that
book was great. Now I'll pass it on and donate
it to someone. That's funny. Middle orgasm on the couch.

(12:19):
It's so good. This book is so good. Books. Thank you,
it's so much. But if you've got any recommendations, right,
let us know.

Speaker 2 (12:29):
Let us hop books hot books. All right, everyone, thank
you as usual.

Speaker 1 (12:33):
We think you're ace. We'll chat to you soon. Bye now,
love you,
Advertise With Us

Popular Podcasts

24/7 News: The Latest
Dateline NBC

Dateline NBC

Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com

The Clay Travis and Buck Sexton Show

The Clay Travis and Buck Sexton Show

The Clay Travis and Buck Sexton Show. Clay Travis and Buck Sexton tackle the biggest stories in news, politics and current events with intelligence and humor. From the border crisis, to the madness of cancel culture and far-left missteps, Clay and Buck guide listeners through the latest headlines and hot topics with fun and entertaining conversations and opinions.

Music, radio and podcasts, all free. Listen online or download the iHeart App.

Connect

© 2025 iHeartMedia, Inc.