117 Reasons Not To Have Kids

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
All right, Max Burford, you haven't gone there yet, but

(00:02):
what is possibly the number one reason why you haven't
had kids yet?

Speaker 2 (00:06):
We're both pretty busy with work, got empires to build
and all that sort of stuff. We'll get there, We
do plan on it, but it just hasn't quite found
that little time in our lives yet.

Speaker 1 (00:16):
But you've got that. You speak about it and you
understand why. But you do want to have kids, right, yeah, yeah, okay, okay,
So I just wanted to make sure because they're Ellie
Gonzales anyway, it doesn't matter her name really, but this
model and actress who is really outspoken about being child
free by choice, which I love. Good on you, no
dramas at all, but she has posted a list of

(00:36):
one hundred and seventeen reasons why women shouldn't have children.

Speaker 2 (00:40):
That is so many reasons.

Speaker 1 (00:41):
You're going to give you a few of them. Yes,
I hear you say, because I'm going to is.

Speaker 2 (00:46):
Going to be one of those things again where I
walk away going I don't want to have Okay.

Speaker 1 (00:50):
Here we go. Number one, they are your responsibility until
the day you die. I mean that's fair.

Speaker 2 (00:55):
I know what you're getting into.

Speaker 1 (00:57):
Wait for it. Number two on the list of one
hundred and seventeen postpart them hair loss. Oh, I get
that it's just Eliza. No, just Eliza, But she's gone
from them being your responsibility to all of a sudden
worrying about the hair. All right, are you ready? Number eight.
Your child can decide to cut you off for whatever
reason when they're older. Number eleven. They can turn into

(01:17):
a serial killer. I mean they could.

Speaker 2 (01:20):
She could also become a detective who arrests exactly.

Speaker 1 (01:24):
Number nineteen. They can pooh inside you.

Speaker 2 (01:27):
Sorry, they can where when they're in your pathside of
your house.

Speaker 1 (01:31):
We know when they're in your belly. Number fifty I'm
skipping through a few. I've just picked out a few
of my favorite kids are annoying. Fifty one. Kids can
turn into psychopaths. I mean, I mean like she's taking
a fit. Number fifty three. What if they get abducted? Yeah,
but don't have friends. What if one of my friends
get abducted? What about fifty four? What if they get trafficked?

Speaker 2 (01:54):
This woman has some security issues.

Speaker 1 (01:56):
Another one, things you love will be ruined, which is fair, Okay,
I'll give it one fifty I bet you didn't know
this This is fifty eight on the reasons why you
shouldn't have children. Body odor gets bad during pregnancy and
worse postpartum. You could smell like onions.

Speaker 2 (02:12):
Did you smell like onions post part I don't know.

Speaker 1 (02:14):
Come and smell me. I don't think I do. I
don't think I do. I have not there's something that
you need? Yeah, is there something you've been meaning to
tell me? And then this one no sex six weeks
post birth. I mean I mean put it away for
six weeks. It sounds like no to be fair. So
Matt wasn't there. So what they do is after you
have a baby, the doctor comes and signs off and
sends you back home. Matt had to go back to

(02:34):
work down at the footy club, and so he wasn't
there for that meeting. And this is where they run
you through and they very importantly say, hey, don't forget
even though you've just had a baby, you can still
get pregnant. And you know, they're running through all these
other things and care for your body and all this
sort of stuff, and they tell you that you can't
have sex for six weeks. And I told him that
we couldn't have sex for six months. Oh, Matt, maybe

(02:58):
it's not my fault. He wasn't there. We went to
work across.

Speaker 2 (03:02):
So how many of those things on that list did
you look at and go of one hundred and seventy
eight thousand, do you look at and go.

Speaker 1 (03:08):
Yeah, you ready? You have to take your kid to
sport on the weekends.

Speaker 2 (03:12):
Oh, nightmare, it's eleven past seven.