MINI: Poo Emergency

Christian was off sick yesterday, and his morning got off to an eventful start..

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:09):
I Heart podcasts. You can hear more Gold one I
four point three podcasts, playlist and listen live on the
free I Heart app. Got anything good? Hey, this is
the Christian O'Connell show podcast. Good morning, Pats, good morning,
Good morning, Alex morning. I love this song so much,

(00:31):
Good morning, Rio, good morning. Good to know mate. We've
got quite a few of them, so we can't keep
doing that for every song. This time, yesterday morning, I
was in a very bad way. So around about Thursday morning,
one am, I woke up in terrible stomach cramps again.
And then you know, if you're an adult, you know
what comes next. It doesn't just stay like that. That's

(00:51):
the warning sign that you need to start moving to
the toilet and wait, and you won't have to wait
that long. And so for several hours there was a
lot of NonStop action. Oh and then it also starts
to then come out my mouth as well to scramble, yeah,
just sink back down. So it was like a sort
of quite a lot of workout really, you know, both ends.

(01:15):
And then I was like I've got to get to work.
Got to get to work. And I'm telling you now
that Uber ride in was the most twenty two buck
clenching like swinked pulled up to my throat and I
was it's actually bringing me out in cold sweats the
fear of it. Several times I was on the verge
of actually a couple times I was clenching the yeah,

(01:35):
clenching the headress of the scene in front of me,
and the uber drive would recognize and he'd picked me
up before, and he actually set one point, you're very
quiet today, and I was just like, why even speak?
And could launch an avalanche again a lot of neither
of us won, and he said earlier, oh passenger on
my one, I was like, I can't. I can't crack
myself back to this. And at one point I actually

(01:57):
was very close as we were going along Punt Road
and it was going over the top just as you
go Crest into Richmond, leave Tourette behind, that I might
actually get into this dumpy by the botanical gardens and
I could find some hedges there and just fertilize the land.
But also I'm my worst sinking show start six a m.
Start six am, the Christian show start six So I

(02:19):
make it into here as soon as I'm walking into
the bild and to throw up outside. I'm thinking, this
is all looking good. Yes there was actually me. I
tried to get it on Patsy's car, but you know,
not this time, but one time I will get it.
I get into here, I and I go and hide
in the treehouse and lie down the couch. I'm starting

(02:40):
to dry heave there. Then I have to run to
the toilet and I'm thinking, I don't know how I'm
gonna do today's show. And as they drape a microphone
cording cable into trap one there, so I tell I've
got to go home. I get out the front here
and I'm like, I don't know how I'm going to
get home. I'm really wirde I'm going to have an accident.
I'm thinking, do I call my wife? Do I just

(03:00):
message I don't wt to wake up? She'll get really upset.
You know, like an emergency is happening, and it is
a kind of emergency, but not capital lots emergency. Still,
you know, I think it should be. I started to
type out of messages, going, hey, if you're awake, I thought,
let's not next. What about twenty five years in that
part of the Lasia where there probably is that kind

(03:20):
of information. I've had an accident again, Let's not start now,
let's build up to that. Let me just try and
fix this. So at one point I just started wanting
the streets going. Should I just walk back? Then I
googled public toilets and then I was thinking they're none open,
that they're not twenty four to seven right. Then I think,
by the way, there needs to be an app of

(03:41):
public toilets idea, yes, you know, just so it lets
you know where they are, what the time is to
have this information ready to go. And then I got
on uber Uber driver and I just I literally just
prayed that I could just get home. Then I got
home and I took some emodium. Oh yes, it's too late.
I'm right, I'm back home. Everything's good, and it's good.

(04:02):
I'm the toilet's right there, dude. My wife gets up,
She's like, what the bloody are you doing at home?
And she goes, did you go into work? I went, yeah,
I went into work. And it brought up to speech
because why do you just take some emoonium? Middle and
I went listen to Everyone's a Hero at a T
a m. When you're four o'clock and the and your
backsides in tatters, your frontal sort of capacity for logic
and reasoning. It ain't there, Okay, now, anyone back to

(04:25):
what today? Good Morning, Christian O'Connell Show podcast