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November 23, 2025 11 mins

England were cruising… until they weren’t. In one of the most outrageous opening Tests in Ashes history, the team manages to go from “unbeatable position” to “full scale capitulation” in just 99 balls. Christian emerges from a metaphorical coma, absolutely convinced England must have won, and the we break the truth to him gently.

We relive the drama, the headlines, the meltdowns, and the Barmy Army grief spiral. The shock, the panic, the disbelief and the hilarity that only Ashes chaos can deliver.

If you missed the carnage, keep listening to hear our take England’s most spectacular collapse in years.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
I Heeart podcasts.

Speaker 2 (00:10):
You can hear more gold onhe I four point three podcasts,
playlist and listen live on the free iHeart.

Speaker 1 (00:16):
App Got anything good?

Speaker 3 (00:19):
Hey, this is the Christian O'Connell show podcast.

Speaker 1 (00:27):
It's the team.

Speaker 2 (00:27):
You're going to have to help me out here. I
watched the cricket the Ashes on day one, and then
I slipped into a coma. I think it was so
excited that we're going to smash you guys, and idea
has woken up.

Speaker 1 (00:39):
So I presume England one. Yeah, just tell me what happened.

Speaker 2 (00:43):
We must have smashed you guys, because Friday night it
was all in England's favorite so I presume that would
have carried on, no reason for it not to.

Speaker 4 (00:49):
Yeah, I mean at three o'clock, you guys would definitely
definitely Yeah.

Speaker 2 (00:53):
So I've been in a coma since Friday night. England
won by how many wickets? I don't know how to
give it to straight, guys, And it must be awkward
for you to say congratulations.

Speaker 1 (01:06):
Because there's no way we would have.

Speaker 2 (01:07):
Just the only word I keep seeing over the weekend
is capitulation. I've never said the word in my life,
but it's the only word to shim up, England's humiliate.

Speaker 1 (01:17):
There were nine England wickets in ninety nine balls. Just incredible.

Speaker 2 (01:21):
Yeah, I've never seen you ever gone first of all
world in Australia. Amazing stuff, just on all counts. But
I don't think i've seen anything so traumatic. Friday was wild. Yeah,
Friday was crazy and I felt like the whole series
in one day. Yes, yeah, yeah, the Game of Thrones,
all of Game of Thrones in one day.

Speaker 1 (01:40):
It was just wild. So we're winning now, yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:43):
But you were in an unassailable position at three o'clock.
I was complete despair. I was like, well, there's no
way we care.

Speaker 1 (01:49):
I presume there. It's going to night Ben Stokes.

Speaker 2 (01:51):
Yes, by Saturday morning, wait King Charles up if he's
not watching it already. And then Saturday was another just
a wild, wild run.

Speaker 5 (02:00):
Yeah, it was over so quickly.

Speaker 4 (02:02):
It was like you went from being in an actually
completely unbeatable position to losing by so.

Speaker 2 (02:09):
Much, so much, so much, so much at that level,
and also happens there's such a long gap in between.
It's a really big deal. It's now it's supposed to
be twenty five days at cricket, which you're lucky.

Speaker 1 (02:23):
No, I can't. I don't know how England come back.

Speaker 2 (02:26):
No, I think I think that's not that really just
shose psychological.

Speaker 1 (02:30):
Does How could it not?

Speaker 2 (02:32):
It's such it's such global humiliation. I'm telling you now,
I've seen all the newspaper headlines here.

Speaker 1 (02:38):
That's nothing compared to how bad it is in the UK.
It's awful.

Speaker 5 (02:41):
You guys are savage. I saw some of those as well.
They did a wrap.

Speaker 2 (02:44):
Actually they've been trying to get citizenship here, trying to
find jobs in the BBL.

Speaker 1 (02:49):
Lower batters, lower batters. You know it'ss Morgan is blowing up.
His timeline was amazing.

Speaker 2 (02:57):
We're going to win this four nil to then demanding
people get fired on the five stages of grief.

Speaker 5 (03:03):
Yes, all in one beautiful tweet page.

Speaker 2 (03:06):
It must have been amazing for an Australia and to
watch it was. It was the one, the one of
the best openings to anything you've seen before.

Speaker 4 (03:14):
Definitely the best, probably the best two hours of cricket,
or maybe I guess four hours of cricket that I've
never seen.

Speaker 5 (03:19):
It was just so thrilling. Everything went our way.

Speaker 4 (03:22):
And then that to see Travis Head, Oh my god, wait, come, and.

Speaker 5 (03:25):
He wasn't supposed to open the batting No, And then there.

Speaker 2 (03:27):
Was that last minute decision that was saying, it's amazing
those chances because if you don't make that call.

Speaker 1 (03:34):
I don't think it goes the way it did.

Speaker 4 (03:36):
Yeah, and it wasn't like some grand plan. It's just
that Kowaja was out injured.

Speaker 2 (03:40):
Who's next that guy? Sure he's done now right? He
looks ancient, the poor man around the poor man. So
it's every couple of years. Yes, it's a really big deal.
He takes part in a golf tournament the day before
and the day before that and the day before that,
and then it's not mine.

Speaker 1 (03:59):
Screwedge.

Speaker 5 (04:00):
He was hobbling around.

Speaker 1 (04:03):
You get that one, I'll get the next one. Okay,
get the Danko running. He's also going to tile on
the way too. So if it's like the big thing,
it's the ashes.

Speaker 2 (04:16):
You're not You're not playing eighteen holes a day before
where in teen hours?

Speaker 1 (04:21):
Sure do you do? Wasn't there the story years ago?

Speaker 2 (04:23):
But Clen Maxwell falling out of a golf cart.

Speaker 1 (04:27):
That's Glen Maxwell. He does. That's not news.

Speaker 3 (04:32):
The Christian O'Connell Show podcast.

Speaker 2 (04:36):
Now I've been collecting newspaper headlines, uh screenshots and to
send back to my dad and say, this is the
reaction here to the capitulation. Now only didn't take a
call yesterday. You don't want to speak to that guy
you moved there. This is These are your people, now,
these are your people's son. Anyway, dig Ben was one

(04:56):
that made me chuckle. And there's a picture of poor
Ben Stokes that press conference, just shell shot.

Speaker 1 (05:02):
I mean, he's one of the better ones.

Speaker 2 (05:04):
He shouldn't be out there yet, some of those other
pasty faced mumblies out there.

Speaker 4 (05:08):
He did, look he was just staring at a little distance,
like to get everyone going again, how do you actually
put any kind of no pun intend but spin on it?

Speaker 1 (05:20):
You know, let's look at the positives. Where were the positives?

Speaker 2 (05:24):
I didn't have some appears Morebin tweets he's got something,
oh Churchill. The other one that I thought was actually
incredibly good was Pommeled.

Speaker 1 (05:34):
That is very Palm's Pummel genius. It's very very good.

Speaker 2 (05:38):
And then the most offensive one but also the most
aggressive and best. Therefore in the West Australian English England's
Daddy with a picture of Travis.

Speaker 1 (05:48):
Oh wow, these are daddy Now.

Speaker 2 (05:51):
That that's quality journalism at its best.

Speaker 1 (05:54):
That cps off to that. Anyone.

Speaker 2 (05:58):
If I had to like put together an identica of
what a typical Ossie looks like, is Travis Yes, yeah,
No one looks more Australia than him.

Speaker 5 (06:08):
He's not that fit.

Speaker 1 (06:12):
Kwaja, you know what? Good on him?

Speaker 2 (06:17):
He's putting the dad one on a global stage, even
a guy with it. He wasn't supposed to be out
there with a dad bod.

Speaker 1 (06:24):
That's what's hurting. We trained guy, Travis head No, we
knew a gym, no cardio.

Speaker 2 (06:32):
Anyway, today I thought we had some fun with this
with all these headlines. I want you to We're going
to do an early version of the time Waste. So
this is such a big story. England's capitulation is I
want your Ashes. Songs that sum up what's happened in
just two short days.

Speaker 1 (06:48):
Songs for the Ashes.

Speaker 2 (06:50):
Okay, I've got upsweded it in two days.

Speaker 1 (06:54):
Stark me up, Yeah.

Speaker 2 (06:57):
Stokes on fire, Yeah, get ducky.

Speaker 1 (07:05):
I fear that could be a theme tune of the summer.
We're about to get Dunky and coldplay. They love cricket
that's right.

Speaker 2 (07:16):
Travis Head for the Dreams, all right, Rio, you're all
right if we can understand with the ulcers, you your
songs for the ashes.

Speaker 5 (07:25):
Travis Head was on fire, wasn't he? Yes, you could
say heads are burning?

Speaker 3 (07:30):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (07:30):
Yeah, good?

Speaker 5 (07:31):
Yeah yeah, Silver, the Choker and the Thief goals. Okay,
this one takes a bit of thinking.

Speaker 4 (07:37):
But you know Kylie Minogue's can't get You out of
My Head?

Speaker 1 (07:40):
Yep?

Speaker 4 (07:41):
What about can't get out head because you couldn't get
him out?

Speaker 1 (07:47):
Yeah? What about it? Oh? Sorry, you're thinking about doing
it on the radio.

Speaker 2 (07:50):
I wouldn't mate And Travis Head, No, can't get you
out to my Travis Head, No.

Speaker 5 (07:56):
Can't get out heead It's like you couldn't get him out, right?

Speaker 1 (07:59):
Yeah? Sorry?

Speaker 5 (08:01):
And you know Beck's loser?

Speaker 4 (08:03):
Yeah, what about what a bunch of pathetic losers?

Speaker 1 (08:06):
That's not nice? Minus bronze.

Speaker 2 (08:11):
OK, gonna be tough, tough day today and not just
that the next six weeks.

Speaker 5 (08:16):
Oh yeah, real, I don't think it's getting betefit.

Speaker 1 (08:18):
No, No, there's no there's no goodness coming.

Speaker 2 (08:21):
There's no big I don't think there's going to be
any big comeback.

Speaker 1 (08:24):
As they said that they're going to change nothing. You're like,
oh my god, what do you have? You watched it?
Watch it back, guys, just watching.

Speaker 3 (08:32):
The Christian O'Connell show podcast.

Speaker 2 (08:36):
Very hard to be here today. Just been answer to you, guys.
You after what England did to me personally sports personal
you do take it like, how could they do this?
They know I'm the own English girl. A bloody radio
over and now behind enemy lines made me laughing stong guys.
It's tough being here today. It is all the jokes
coming through, all the jokes coming to the.

Speaker 1 (08:58):
Joke man reads up, so good. There's your show today?
Really all right?

Speaker 2 (09:03):
Asking for our asking. I am just asking for it today.
I it's that lancing of boil. I'm not saying you're
like a boy oil today, but exactly the words that
felt right. I'm asking for your ashes songs today. It
must have been glove, but it's over now. I'm sorry
that you've got to give it.

Speaker 1 (09:18):
That's funny.

Speaker 2 (09:21):
Don't fear the keeper on Chris the band Sweet and
Ball instead of ballroom blitz Ballers blitz.

Speaker 1 (09:28):
Silver that's out.

Speaker 2 (09:30):
Oh hell, what's my favorite one? That's all drama in
one line. There word earned Steve Bruce Springs Stenborn to
make runs silver and other pom bites.

Speaker 1 (09:45):
It's funny now. Actually I just remember that. Got my
Australian passport.

Speaker 2 (09:49):
It's a great it's a great Australia yoss. How about
this one, Christian from Paul. It's a long way to
the crease and you only scored a duck.

Speaker 1 (10:09):
Christian.

Speaker 2 (10:10):
How about total collapse of the poms around that's my
favorite one. I shouldn't be laughing, but I have to
hit me travels one more.

Speaker 5 (10:21):
Time, Daddy Gold.

Speaker 1 (10:24):
I won't have that. I don't care.

Speaker 2 (10:30):
I can't get no batting traction. Don't worry you're crappy. No,
uh hit me with your worship.

Speaker 1 (10:41):
No, come on, I that get through. We don't need
another innings. We don't need another.

Speaker 5 (10:47):
He's a very good good gold.

Speaker 2 (10:51):
Mighty cyrus and wrecking bass ball, oh traves thumping ah.

Speaker 1 (10:59):
That is very very very good.

Speaker 2 (11:02):
This route is made for walking, not these, which was
your favor at one.

Speaker 5 (11:09):
Total collapse of the pom Wow.

Speaker 1 (11:11):
That's we'll send your price for that one.

Speaker 3 (11:13):
The Christian O'Connell Show Podcast
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