January 1, 2026 • 8 mins
While the show is away, we’re revisiting some of our favourite moments, including the time Patsy and Christian both had a case of midday befuddlement in the car. Parking Fines and Wrong Cars.
The Christian O’Connell Show returns January 19.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
I Heeart podcasts.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
You can hear more gold one I four point three podcasts,
playlist and listen live on the free iHeart app. Got
anything good?
Speaker 1 (00:19):
Hey, this is the Christian O'Connell show podcast. Now, Patsy,
you got caught with the parking fine yesterday.
Speaker 3 (00:30):
I don't get me started, but passes.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
I think in this city there are parking signs that
are impenetrable, undecipherable.
Speaker 1 (00:38):
Four to five different signs. Yeah, it's when there's.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
Like the crest of arms, the Herald, where it's up
four quadrants. You're like, with no training, with no formal training,
how I want to know what are the different clauses
that I'm looking at here? It's like a legal contract
in a different language, isn't it? But your one is
one of those split down the middle with the no
parking sign.
Speaker 3 (00:58):
All right, I see what you're saying, but let's put
it into context. One o'clock in the afternoon, half asleep,
been up since the middle of the night, and obviously.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
Walking up that hill again with that sack of wooden
bare feet in the snow. But since midnight.
Speaker 3 (01:11):
Mine was playing tricks yet again, and I seriously thought
I was in the right, I thought, No, I thought
it was unusual that I got to park right out
in the front of a cafe. I was meeting the
love God for lunch yesterday at Williamstown.
Speaker 1 (01:26):
Oh lovely.
Speaker 3 (01:27):
Yeah, it was just one of those opportunity rings me. Hey,
I've got a spare twenty minutes, half an hour, let's
meet for oh yeah, for you know, get a lunch,
and how's your father and so, oh my.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
God, restaurant.
Speaker 2 (01:39):
Suddenly they're in the kitchen, in that meat locker.
Speaker 1 (01:46):
And right out the front, and Bob's your uncle.
Speaker 3 (01:51):
Right out the front is the park, which I thought
was really unusual.
Speaker 1 (01:54):
Now I know, why are you always got to be suspicious?
Speaker 3 (01:56):
A damn loading zone? And I parked there very fully, confident.
And when I went in and met Chris, I said,
you never believe I've got a park right out the front,
right out the front. It never happens. And then came
out and the damn ticket blowing in the.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
Break more than your lunch, more far more.
Speaker 3 (02:17):
Than the lunch. I could have flown on a lear
jet to Paris and had lunch.
Speaker 1 (02:21):
Oh.
Speaker 3 (02:22):
I was so annoyed. I thought, Oh, how stupid. I
just did not interpret it.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
It's correctly, it's crystal clearly. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (02:29):
I don't want to be rude Patsy, but this is
just two signs. The top says loading signs seven am
to one pm as Monday to Saturday. From there you
just goboard's one pm Monday to Saturday.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
A child could read this.
Speaker 3 (02:42):
I didn't see that.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
Okay, well you can't have looked at it.
Speaker 2 (02:45):
You must just dump that car there, thinking I work
in showbiz, I'll park it where I want.
Speaker 1 (02:50):
And I threw the keys at somebody. Where's that valet? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (02:52):
Yeah, probably some poor guy wants to unload some fruit
and veggs for the place and now has to go
on and do laps or something.
Speaker 3 (02:58):
And that all those peaches and that it was awful,
and it was kind of on a funny bit of
a road where there's like a bend and either side
of it obviously is normal parks. I don't know what
I was thinking. It just did not compute in my brain.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
It is what I would say they need to do
in this country to save the suburbs.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
Right from online shopping, it's really hard to park at
your local places.
Speaker 3 (03:20):
Yeah it is.
Speaker 2 (03:20):
I don't know what the answer is, but it's making
it really hard. This is why they run the risk
of people going online, because we're just lazy and time staff.
It's a nightmare. You've got these narrow little streets. Trying
to park is an absolute nightmare, isn't it bad?
Speaker 1 (03:34):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (03:34):
It is?
Speaker 3 (03:34):
And you always a small business, Yes, I feel really
really sorry for them because everyone's going to the major
shopping malls. This is a beautiful little strip William gorgeous. Yeah,
and you know that's where you'll find those shops that
aren't like the big multinationals, all the little boutiques and
just struggling business owners who God knows.
Speaker 2 (03:53):
We've got to hang on to that because one of
the lovely things about this country is all the suburbs
in Melbourne right are different.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
Yes, I really really like that.
Speaker 2 (04:02):
They've got their own little mum and pop stores and
businesses that have been in those communities for decades, right,
and obviously during that really got damaged, not them aunt
there anymore.
Speaker 1 (04:11):
So the ones that.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
Are really really they're part of the community. They know you, yes, yeah,
you know, and they ask they start to know like
you because they see you a lot like most weeks.
They know what you've been through in your life and
what's happened, and we really need that. That's why the
well the last domains of an actual community now is
that because some of the old pubs are dying out now,
no one goes to church and so that connection with
(04:32):
someone those local shops is really really important. I don't
know what the answers, but they need some way where
it's just easier for us to dump the cars without
fearing of I can't read this parking sign.
Speaker 1 (04:42):
I just go click and collect.
Speaker 4 (04:44):
At least take the parking signs completely idiot proof.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
Now I'm having a go at Patsy having some midday befuddlement,
because this is exactly what happened to me yesterday at
one o'clock when I terrified an old lady.
Speaker 1 (04:57):
Oh no, so full discosures to happen next Christian O'Connell
show podcast.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
So Patsy had her midday fusion the essay I had
perfuddlement at midday. You're right, Patsy. It's with these hours
and the amount of years doing them that that sort
of one till two is the gray zone. You can
just wig out. My family no, not to even call
me unless they really need to. My wife will begin
if she does come, and then have you had your nap?
Speaker 1 (05:29):
And I go, no, all.
Speaker 2 (05:32):
Right, call me back when you work it out. And
you've had a cup of tea. So there needs to
be a buffer zone. You're bad to come out with hibernation. Anyway, Yes,
I was running some errands and I didn't realize at
the time it all drifted and I was in the
gray zone, and so I was returning to my car.
I wasn't returning to my car. I was returned to
a car exactly the same color as mine, not exactly
(05:55):
the same make or model, but exactly the same color,
a mid sized suv. I rip open the door. It's unlocked,
and thinking I'm getting in my car. Well, suddenly an
old lady in the passenger seat, and I mean a
really old, frail lady actually shrieks. I really scared, as
I would do, because you know, there's all these car jackets,
and suddenly looks like there's some devilishly handsome, roguish one,
(06:18):
a charmer, a charmer roguish one, a rakish one, right
is in the car some English cat. Excuse me, I'm
so sorry. So two things happened. She actually was oh
my god, no, she was actually really, I really did
scare her. At the same time, I'm thinking we're part
just down the road from an age care home, and
(06:39):
I'm thinking, oh, this poor old deer, I'm now going
to have to try and explain this isn't her car
and take her back to the unit where there's probably
some alarm going right now. Then I realized in a minute,
this isn't the badge of.
Speaker 1 (06:51):
My my.
Speaker 2 (06:54):
I'm the only confused doddery fole here.
Speaker 1 (06:58):
Going to take you back to your where there's no
alarm being wrong for my disappearance.
Speaker 2 (07:07):
They're like, oh, how do you explain your way out
of that one?
Speaker 1 (07:11):
To the lady, I actually went bright red, was so
I know, I was, I'm so sorry.
Speaker 2 (07:17):
I thought this was my car and she just didn't
understand because I think she was very old and she's
very confused and actually really scared. She was doing that
thing like leaning back. The worst thing I saw my
last is of her clutching double handed her handbag.
Speaker 1 (07:32):
That's the first thing you'd go for thing, and it
did look like a blinger one.
Speaker 2 (07:36):
I'm not the half of me, did think and won
if you some cash in there by myself something money's
tight at the moment, I could just you could spit,
spend me a honey or something in there. But yeah,
I was just I really was like I was so
confused my car and I was like, my car is
too up, and she was like trying to look and
(07:57):
as I then got into my car, I was like
looking back to her and she was on the phat
to somebody and I thought, hopefully that's just like someone
who's like dumped her there, or it's on the places
it might be pulled over if I accidentally kidnapped an elderly.
Speaker 1 (08:12):
And this was just like a dry run. I'm like,
I'm very confused these hours.
Speaker 2 (08:17):
We can't reaparking signs or what car we even getting into.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
I should be driving from that time. The Christian Connell
Show podcast
I Heeart podcasts.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
You can hear more gold one I four point three podcasts,
playlist and listen live on the free iHeart app. Got
anything good?
Speaker 1 (00:19):
Hey, this is the Christian O'Connell show podcast. Now, Patsy,
you got caught with the parking fine yesterday.
Speaker 3 (00:30):
I don't get me started, but passes.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
I think in this city there are parking signs that
are impenetrable, undecipherable.
Speaker 1 (00:38):
Four to five different signs. Yeah, it's when there's.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
Like the crest of arms, the Herald, where it's up
four quadrants. You're like, with no training, with no formal training,
how I want to know what are the different clauses
that I'm looking at here? It's like a legal contract
in a different language, isn't it? But your one is
one of those split down the middle with the no
parking sign.
Speaker 3 (00:58):
All right, I see what you're saying, but let's put
it into context. One o'clock in the afternoon, half asleep,
been up since the middle of the night, and obviously.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
Walking up that hill again with that sack of wooden
bare feet in the snow. But since midnight.
Speaker 3 (01:11):
Mine was playing tricks yet again, and I seriously thought
I was in the right, I thought, No, I thought
it was unusual that I got to park right out
in the front of a cafe. I was meeting the
love God for lunch yesterday at Williamstown.
Speaker 1 (01:26):
Oh lovely.
Speaker 3 (01:27):
Yeah, it was just one of those opportunity rings me. Hey,
I've got a spare twenty minutes, half an hour, let's
meet for oh yeah, for you know, get a lunch,
and how's your father and so, oh my.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
God, restaurant.
Speaker 2 (01:39):
Suddenly they're in the kitchen, in that meat locker.
Speaker 1 (01:46):
And right out the front, and Bob's your uncle.
Speaker 3 (01:51):
Right out the front is the park, which I thought
was really unusual.
Speaker 1 (01:54):
Now I know, why are you always got to be suspicious?
Speaker 3 (01:56):
A damn loading zone? And I parked there very fully, confident.
And when I went in and met Chris, I said,
you never believe I've got a park right out the front,
right out the front. It never happens. And then came
out and the damn ticket blowing in the.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
Break more than your lunch, more far more.
Speaker 3 (02:17):
Than the lunch. I could have flown on a lear
jet to Paris and had lunch.
Speaker 1 (02:21):
Oh.
Speaker 3 (02:22):
I was so annoyed. I thought, Oh, how stupid. I
just did not interpret it.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
It's correctly, it's crystal clearly. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (02:29):
I don't want to be rude Patsy, but this is
just two signs. The top says loading signs seven am
to one pm as Monday to Saturday. From there you
just goboard's one pm Monday to Saturday.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
A child could read this.
Speaker 3 (02:42):
I didn't see that.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
Okay, well you can't have looked at it.
Speaker 2 (02:45):
You must just dump that car there, thinking I work
in showbiz, I'll park it where I want.
Speaker 1 (02:50):
And I threw the keys at somebody. Where's that valet? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (02:52):
Yeah, probably some poor guy wants to unload some fruit
and veggs for the place and now has to go
on and do laps or something.
Speaker 3 (02:58):
And that all those peaches and that it was awful,
and it was kind of on a funny bit of
a road where there's like a bend and either side
of it obviously is normal parks. I don't know what
I was thinking. It just did not compute in my brain.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
It is what I would say they need to do
in this country to save the suburbs.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
Right from online shopping, it's really hard to park at
your local places.
Speaker 3 (03:20):
Yeah it is.
Speaker 2 (03:20):
I don't know what the answer is, but it's making
it really hard. This is why they run the risk
of people going online, because we're just lazy and time staff.
It's a nightmare. You've got these narrow little streets. Trying
to park is an absolute nightmare, isn't it bad?
Speaker 1 (03:34):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (03:34):
It is?
Speaker 3 (03:34):
And you always a small business, Yes, I feel really
really sorry for them because everyone's going to the major
shopping malls. This is a beautiful little strip William gorgeous. Yeah,
and you know that's where you'll find those shops that
aren't like the big multinationals, all the little boutiques and
just struggling business owners who God knows.
Speaker 2 (03:53):
We've got to hang on to that because one of
the lovely things about this country is all the suburbs
in Melbourne right are different.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
Yes, I really really like that.
Speaker 2 (04:02):
They've got their own little mum and pop stores and
businesses that have been in those communities for decades, right,
and obviously during that really got damaged, not them aunt
there anymore.
Speaker 1 (04:11):
So the ones that.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
Are really really they're part of the community. They know you, yes, yeah,
you know, and they ask they start to know like
you because they see you a lot like most weeks.
They know what you've been through in your life and
what's happened, and we really need that. That's why the
well the last domains of an actual community now is
that because some of the old pubs are dying out now,
no one goes to church and so that connection with
(04:32):
someone those local shops is really really important. I don't
know what the answers, but they need some way where
it's just easier for us to dump the cars without
fearing of I can't read this parking sign.
Speaker 1 (04:42):
I just go click and collect.
Speaker 4 (04:44):
At least take the parking signs completely idiot proof.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
Now I'm having a go at Patsy having some midday befuddlement,
because this is exactly what happened to me yesterday at
one o'clock when I terrified an old lady.
Speaker 1 (04:57):
Oh no, so full discosures to happen next Christian O'Connell
show podcast.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
So Patsy had her midday fusion the essay I had
perfuddlement at midday. You're right, Patsy. It's with these hours
and the amount of years doing them that that sort
of one till two is the gray zone. You can
just wig out. My family no, not to even call
me unless they really need to. My wife will begin
if she does come, and then have you had your nap?
Speaker 1 (05:29):
And I go, no, all.
Speaker 2 (05:32):
Right, call me back when you work it out. And
you've had a cup of tea. So there needs to
be a buffer zone. You're bad to come out with hibernation. Anyway, Yes,
I was running some errands and I didn't realize at
the time it all drifted and I was in the
gray zone, and so I was returning to my car.
I wasn't returning to my car. I was returned to
a car exactly the same color as mine, not exactly
(05:55):
the same make or model, but exactly the same color,
a mid sized suv. I rip open the door. It's unlocked,
and thinking I'm getting in my car. Well, suddenly an
old lady in the passenger seat, and I mean a
really old, frail lady actually shrieks. I really scared, as
I would do, because you know, there's all these car jackets,
and suddenly looks like there's some devilishly handsome, roguish one,
(06:18):
a charmer, a charmer roguish one, a rakish one, right
is in the car some English cat. Excuse me, I'm
so sorry. So two things happened. She actually was oh
my god, no, she was actually really, I really did
scare her. At the same time, I'm thinking we're part
just down the road from an age care home, and
(06:39):
I'm thinking, oh, this poor old deer, I'm now going
to have to try and explain this isn't her car
and take her back to the unit where there's probably
some alarm going right now. Then I realized in a minute,
this isn't the badge of.
Speaker 1 (06:51):
My my.
Speaker 2 (06:54):
I'm the only confused doddery fole here.
Speaker 1 (06:58):
Going to take you back to your where there's no
alarm being wrong for my disappearance.
Speaker 2 (07:07):
They're like, oh, how do you explain your way out
of that one?
Speaker 1 (07:11):
To the lady, I actually went bright red, was so
I know, I was, I'm so sorry.
Speaker 2 (07:17):
I thought this was my car and she just didn't
understand because I think she was very old and she's
very confused and actually really scared. She was doing that
thing like leaning back. The worst thing I saw my
last is of her clutching double handed her handbag.
Speaker 1 (07:32):
That's the first thing you'd go for thing, and it
did look like a blinger one.
Speaker 2 (07:36):
I'm not the half of me, did think and won
if you some cash in there by myself something money's
tight at the moment, I could just you could spit,
spend me a honey or something in there. But yeah,
I was just I really was like I was so
confused my car and I was like, my car is
too up, and she was like trying to look and
(07:57):
as I then got into my car, I was like
looking back to her and she was on the phat
to somebody and I thought, hopefully that's just like someone
who's like dumped her there, or it's on the places
it might be pulled over if I accidentally kidnapped an elderly.
Speaker 1 (08:12):
And this was just like a dry run. I'm like,
I'm very confused these hours.
Speaker 2 (08:17):
We can't reaparking signs or what car we even getting into.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
I should be driving from that time. The Christian Connell
Show podcast
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