May 21, 2025 • 31 mins
After the news this week that Jack is leaving the show we're taking a moment to look back at some of our favourite hilarious Jack moments from the show over the years..
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Speaker 1 (00:09):
iHeart Podcasts.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
You can hear more Gold one I four point three podcasts,
playlist and listen live on the free iHeart app.
Speaker 3 (00:18):
Got anything good?
Speaker 4 (00:19):
Hey, this is the Christian Connell Show podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
Right now we're about to cross live to Colinwood Children's Farm.
Are the major sporting precinct revered all over the world.
Here the mcg amy Bark and now a new megadome,
Colinwood Children's Farm on that top paddock.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
It is time the talking is over.
Speaker 5 (00:44):
Now.
Speaker 2 (00:46):
I've just seen a photo of the starting blocks, sort
of thing you'd get at the Olympics for the one
had to Minister Jack personally requested.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
Behind my back. Don't worry if you think he's going
to get an unfair fantage. I've seen them. We obviously
borrowed some from a junior school.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
These are children's starting blocks, something you used to measure
feet with that the I'm a school year at the
shoe shop. Jack is a musician. He's he's piled on
the pressure to himself. He's invited his mom and dad
there so that they can see their son excel in
sporting victory for the first time. His son is also
(01:26):
there and his wife. Generations are there to witness. There's
some of you have turned up today.
Speaker 1 (01:32):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
And now I'm going to cross to the person who've
got to call today's race, which is Rio.
Speaker 1 (01:39):
Rio. Describe the scenes.
Speaker 5 (01:41):
There now, Christian, I feel like I've walked through a
wormhole and I've ended up in a parallel universe.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
This is so weird.
Speaker 5 (01:48):
There's a fully grown man, a father no less, in
full compression kit. Next to him, a brown pig being
cradled by the giant hulk of a man.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
Xavier's huge.
Speaker 4 (01:58):
They we're both big, We're both.
Speaker 5 (02:01):
Say of ten your same monks. I think Xavier might
win the race. It's a paddic. It's a beautiful paddic.
A little bit of cowpo around, but a beautiful clear day,
nothing impeding anyone's path. A lot of nerves, a lot
of excitement. There's a quiet and unease as we await
the start of the race.
Speaker 1 (02:20):
Tension hangs in the air.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
Jack a few words before you take a position on
the children's starting blocks, We've got.
Speaker 4 (02:29):
I can see my wife and son at the finish
line from where I stand at the starting blocks. What
better way to start his life than to see his
father absolutely demolish a pig at the Collingwood Children's Farm.
Speaker 6 (02:41):
I will not let you down, all right, Jackie boy, focus,
all right, take position.
Speaker 4 (02:50):
Rio, I'm ready.
Speaker 1 (02:52):
A lag is in the air, all right, so real.
This is how it's going to work. I'm going to
play the bugle. We all know this. I pay this rio.
Speaker 2 (02:59):
Then when I play the starting pistol, you lower the
flag and racing must commence.
Speaker 1 (03:05):
Got it? You're ready? Jack is he's falling over.
Speaker 4 (03:10):
He fell over, He's he's walked back, walked it back.
He's ready to go down.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
You know when they have one of the finalists and
a full stop, Yeah, they always lose. It's over, guys,
back up, let's go home. Shake trotters, Come on, Jack,
steady yourself center man center?
Speaker 1 (03:28):
Is he ready? He's ready? Good luck Jack, Good luck
Piggy Gonzalez. Let's do this. Three two one, Melbourny. Are
you ready? World? Are you ready? And they're away?
Speaker 5 (03:50):
A slow stuff from Piggy Gonzalez. He's lost his way
a bit, Jack posts streaming your head, he's streaming ahead.
Speaker 1 (03:56):
We ordered a champion.
Speaker 5 (04:00):
Like a mild absolutely smoked that pig.
Speaker 2 (04:08):
Of after thirty four years of being a sports. I
louns finally in front of his mom and his dad,
his son, his life. Emotional scenes here, He's actually one,
He's beat the race.
Speaker 5 (04:23):
His child, My god, his his arm is in the air,
he's jumping around, he's it seems like he's mocking the pig.
Speaker 1 (04:30):
Oh dear, that is that's not nice. Where's the pig.
Speaker 5 (04:35):
The pig is still yet to cross the line. The
pig is taking a very leisurely approach to this race.
We're still the pig has crossed the line.
Speaker 2 (04:45):
Spell down, pig, Piggy Gonzalez tough like a gallant loser.
Speaker 1 (04:50):
Jack post a few words from the winner.
Speaker 4 (04:53):
I want the first thing the pig. He really took
it to me. He's a fast boy, but there was no.
Speaker 6 (04:58):
Match in the speed of man.
Speaker 1 (05:03):
There's the rest of the year exactly.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
Oh my god, how does Jack, How does it feel
in front of your mum?
Speaker 1 (05:09):
You turned your son, your wife.
Speaker 4 (05:11):
I honestly floated. I didn't feel it. I didn't feel
the pain. I was pushing as hard as I could,
but I couldn't feel it. I was floating, and I
looked over mid race and I saw my son, and
he winked at me. And it made me run faster.
Speaker 1 (05:29):
Rio, take us see how the race went down.
Speaker 5 (05:32):
Well, it was a very slow start from the piggy
Gonzales and.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
He never quite recovered. Jack was fast, I will give
it to him.
Speaker 4 (05:39):
He was floating, but Piggy.
Speaker 5 (05:41):
Gonzales very slow to get out of the blocks. And
then I would say, probably never really got out of
first or second year, just sort of leisurely trotted over
the line.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
I turned around.
Speaker 4 (05:51):
Rio, did the pig ever run? I turned around, and
he walked the rest of the way down.
Speaker 1 (05:54):
To a canter. I would say.
Speaker 5 (05:55):
I wouldn't say Jack actually.
Speaker 1 (06:00):
Just raced himself.
Speaker 4 (06:01):
He Christian, I raced the pig and I won.
Speaker 1 (06:06):
He raced.
Speaker 4 (06:07):
What will the record books, what will the record books show?
Speaker 1 (06:10):
You're quite right that the pig walked it.
Speaker 4 (06:12):
Basically, that's not in the books.
Speaker 1 (06:14):
The books just said.
Speaker 2 (06:15):
I think the pig is always going on here and
thought the nice thing to do is let this guy win.
Speaker 1 (06:21):
Jack, Well, you are the deserved winner. You held your nerves,
you rased you one. Well done.
Speaker 4 (06:27):
Thank you, guys, Thank you for your support. Christian, you
were the only one who believed in me in this.
Speaker 1 (06:31):
Whole Sedately.
Speaker 2 (06:36):
All right, Jackie Boy, This song is for you, ladies
and gentlemen. The winner today, the one and only Jack Post.
Speaker 1 (06:43):
He took the pressure and he delivered. Thank you, Christian
O'Connell show go on podcast.
Speaker 2 (06:50):
Jack and I are very lucky working with Patsy just generally,
but sometimes she give us a little heads up about
what I call it inside training by the news just
suck ahead on the door and went, just I know
you're going to wear be zoo this weekend, Joe. Where
I ask somebody to do with the mere cats? What
is it they mating or something or their scat or I.
Speaker 3 (07:10):
Don't know whether it's to protect their health, but yeah,
just take a mask or have.
Speaker 4 (07:14):
They got like a swine blue a mewcat version of
that that can transfer to humans that I have to worry.
Speaker 3 (07:19):
About spreading that, Gord, you love the mew CAATs, you
can get up closer pass not of their disease.
Speaker 1 (07:25):
Why didn't the recats wear the masks themselves? Imagine that?
Speaker 2 (07:29):
Cute? So cute? Okay, Jackie boy, how did you get on?
Yesa We sent Jack Post to a psychic for the
very first time now. Particip Katelyn went last week and
she is a wide eyed zenit for this stuff. You know,
literally looks at pine cones and tea leaves and you
know the signs. The signs were good today.
Speaker 4 (07:50):
And everything that she got told, she was amazed that
the psychic knew, like, oh, the psychic knew I had
bad plumbing in my house? How did she know that?
So she I went along to the same psychic. Even
Kate Caitlin was so excited to book me in because
I'm more of a skeptic. Honestly, I don't really believe
in the supernatural rule. But I went in with an
open mind, and I can best describe what happened as
(08:14):
a good like a rot watching a really good magic trick.
So she did. She was capable of like getting a
whole lot of things about me, and you know, saying
names of like oh, yeah, is there an Andrew and Anthony,
an uncle Anthony walking? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (08:29):
Did you say, hey, what's your name? And then what happens?
Because you're pre booked online, So what actually happened?
Speaker 4 (08:34):
Yep, you say your name, So she goes jack post,
she writes it down, and then she asked for your
date of birth ten eleven, nineteen eighty seven.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
So she just starts doing numerology.
Speaker 4 (08:41):
Yep, she's got a little whiteboard in front of her,
and then she scribbles down a whole lot of numbers
like the so she goes. Then she's going really fast,
like is if she's channeling something. Bang bang bang, there's
a whole lot of numbers coming out. Oh you've got
eleven's very strong for you. You're an alpha male, she said,
And then you started to breaking up. It's like, oh,
(09:02):
this is all I like to hear that. Like I said,
magic trick.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
There's making the statue of even disappeared, and there's Shack.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
He's at alpha, so watch out.
Speaker 4 (09:13):
But you didn't know everyone, Well, I've got it somewhere
deep inside. So there were some things that I was
really impressed by. She really knew, like details about us
that that felt like, oh, that's really spot on about
Banker and I. But then I got a few things
that sounded familiar. The plumbing in my house it was
(09:35):
a bit dodgy as well.
Speaker 1 (09:37):
Ground house.
Speaker 2 (09:40):
Came to be a sad because every home in Victoria's
got shonky plumbing because how suddenly, how's it put together?
Speaker 4 (09:46):
And it felt like I was getting you know, it's
one of her highlights, or maybe her biggest hits is
the plumbing in your house, because I know Caitlyn got it.
Kaitlyn also got ten knives in the back, which is forthcoming.
Speaker 2 (09:58):
Her knives are yet to come, which is a big
thing to say to somebody, isn't it.
Speaker 4 (10:01):
I got the tennis spades as well, which means but
I had it in my history. So I've had ten
knives in my back. My god, thank god it's behind
you know, put that will buy the whole. Oh my god,
throwback Thursday, Jimmy went out and your back was actually
quite a lot of pain last year.
Speaker 1 (10:16):
That's true.
Speaker 4 (10:18):
She would love you because you make the connections that
she wants to hear.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
It's translation like a double act.
Speaker 4 (10:24):
Because sometimes I would say, she would say like, is
there an an in your past? And I would say no,
but you would be great at being there and making
connections like oh no, but you hadn't an Anthony, Uncle Anthony.
That sounds like so some other highways. There's a spirit
that lives in my shed, in my garden shed.
Speaker 2 (10:44):
Now, I I will tend to believe that because whenever
you buy a new place of property, there is energy
and spirits there.
Speaker 1 (10:51):
I believe that.
Speaker 4 (10:51):
Yeah, but what's he doing in the garden shed?
Speaker 1 (10:53):
Pain ran? Hey, little feller, what's he doing?
Speaker 3 (10:56):
Is he a friendly spirit?
Speaker 4 (10:57):
She says, not like a polter gey. It's not like
a ghost ole bump into. It's just it's an energy
back there amongst the murmur and stuff.
Speaker 1 (11:03):
You ever found anything in there? Cold? Hot?
Speaker 4 (11:05):
I mean, I like going in there, but because it's
got spiders and mosquitos that.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
The energy is making you feel like that.
Speaker 4 (11:10):
I've got two or multiple spirits in the dining room and.
Speaker 1 (11:13):
The Gordian bianca.
Speaker 4 (11:16):
They told the spirits don't like how we've set up
the dining room.
Speaker 1 (11:20):
Do you agree it? Has it changed recently?
Speaker 4 (11:23):
We did change it. It used to be the living room,
and then we swapped the living room in the dining
room around, and she said that would be it. How
are they going to.
Speaker 1 (11:33):
I'm meant to say that, Oh yeah, that, yep, we've
got that one.
Speaker 2 (11:39):
Don't forget to temp at the end because of that one.
Speaker 1 (11:42):
You know, we got that right about the dining room table.
Speaker 4 (11:44):
At one point she said, is there William or Walter.
Speaker 1 (11:48):
Two completely ven names?
Speaker 4 (11:50):
And I said, well, I mean my sister in law's
dog in l A is Walter. No, and she goes, okay,
getting something from him. He's got Tommy problems. Oh, come on,
he's got to do you even tell your sister. I
haven't even confirmed that with her yet. I'll check out
if that's real.
Speaker 1 (12:11):
If he has, they deal with it, you know.
Speaker 4 (12:13):
But the biggest one I got, and she's she's bringing
out she's got a pack of playing cards and she's
bringing out different numbers all the time. I don't know
what she means, but you know, she's like the three
that's celebration for something to do with work.
Speaker 2 (12:24):
Then all of a sudden she's having a great I
there's nothing for you.
Speaker 4 (12:28):
She says, my time and my current workplace is temporary. No,
she did, Jack.
Speaker 1 (12:37):
That is a big thing to say to somebody.
Speaker 4 (12:39):
But by this time I was already starting to lose
believability in the whole.
Speaker 1 (12:43):
But she pulls you back with that one. Didn't make
you think it did?
Speaker 2 (12:47):
No?
Speaker 1 (12:47):
I did really.
Speaker 2 (12:52):
Look at me and be honest when she first told
you that, did part of you leave with joy?
Speaker 1 (12:57):
No?
Speaker 4 (12:57):
No, it didn't happened. What happened I heard that? I thought, No, Like,
come on, I don't want to leave the show. And
then I thought, like, I wonder if there's something about
like a four day week in the car.
Speaker 1 (13:08):
Here we go. Oh, I've just turned over the number. No,
it's to the five. Keep toning, keep turning. Wow.
Speaker 4 (13:21):
No, no, I'm staying on this show. She said, it's
like temporary could mean ten years, and then I'll permanent.
Speaker 1 (13:36):
Morning.
Speaker 4 (13:37):
I'm not going anywhere, right.
Speaker 2 (13:38):
I told my wife this last night. I said, oh, look,
you know about the knives and the plumbing was up there. Yes,
said the other thing is she said, you know about
him being temporary on the show. Wife goes, Pats will
get really upset.
Speaker 5 (13:49):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:49):
She actually said one of the producers have a speech
speaks he beforehand to say this hasn't happened.
Speaker 1 (13:54):
It's not happening about the dog with a splitch.
Speaker 2 (13:59):
Alsoide, do you think temporary could be ten You don't
get temporary pain? Really you how long is this will
last for ten years? You're never be in temporary paid week.
Speaker 4 (14:12):
Well, because she'd already used the at one point, she said,
you'll move to a farm and I said, oh, we're
really happy where we are. We only just bought our
house last year. And she said yeah, that's that could
be aged the way like that could be ten twenty
years away.
Speaker 2 (14:25):
Again, the whole timeline here now it's very lucy goosey.
Speaker 4 (14:32):
If I'm staying on the show, I promise you this is.
Speaker 1 (14:35):
Your decision, true, Bobby.
Speaker 4 (14:38):
Temporary, I'm going to see Sue the Bustlers after or
even at nine. I won't even said this afternoon.
Speaker 1 (14:44):
She's on a way right now.
Speaker 2 (14:46):
Patsy, how do you feel about going to see Reto
the Psychic next week?
Speaker 3 (14:50):
I would no, seriously, hand on my heart.
Speaker 1 (14:52):
I would love to, but I'm a bit scared after
you go.
Speaker 4 (14:57):
I seriously would love to. You know, I'm running back and.
Speaker 2 (14:59):
Then we know, right once and for all, if you
come back pack to the next day, then there's ten knives.
Actually no, maybe you put in ten nights.
Speaker 1 (15:09):
Perhaps doing the Plunger Christian O'Connell show podcast.
Speaker 4 (15:14):
We went to see a local improv night a Comedy
Republic in the city. It's brilliant, actually yeah, and they
had special guests and Edmund On.
Speaker 1 (15:23):
She is so very very funny, funny start. I think
she's awesome.
Speaker 4 (15:27):
Improv is something that we've shied away from for a
long time because years ago. I took Biank's parents and
Bianca to an improv show and it was just so bad.
Speaker 2 (15:39):
Way to say, it's horrendous when it's great, it's unbelievable.
Speaker 1 (15:43):
But there's no medium, is there was there?
Speaker 4 (15:45):
There was just no laughter the whole time, So four
people sat in silence. There wasn't even the kind of
laughter where you could pretend that you're having fun.
Speaker 2 (15:55):
You start to actually hate the people doing that. I
start to imagine bad things befalling them.
Speaker 4 (16:01):
And they they start to be aware that whatever they
were doing is.
Speaker 2 (16:07):
You're eating one and you're making up eating one. They
probably use that as an unfunny sketch.
Speaker 4 (16:11):
Yeah, we still do the full hour.
Speaker 2 (16:13):
And were they asking so last night it was good?
And were they obviously the audience heavily involved. He sent
out suggestions next to.
Speaker 4 (16:21):
The exactly they yell out, like you say a random
word that you're thinking of. I don't like to do
audience participation, though, so I leave that to others.
Speaker 1 (16:28):
Patsy. By the way, before the show today, jack old.
Speaker 4 (16:34):
No no no no.
Speaker 2 (16:37):
Started find each other A couple of no no nots
a couple of years.
Speaker 1 (16:42):
Are you hanging in your no no, no no, no.
Speaker 2 (16:44):
No, because users barely we should all be allowed a
kind of no no no over the over the course
of the shows.
Speaker 1 (16:49):
No no no. If you don't want to, I won't no. Okay,
well no, I prefer the way that I always always
have it up top.
Speaker 2 (16:55):
I always have it up there, even if I'm handing
you an award. I always spend your year. Do you
remember why he didn't do that improv Oh, I would
just jacko semyone the center of the year.
Speaker 4 (17:05):
I would just rather handle it than you retell it.
I said Christian Rea that I didn't like to yell
out a suggestion just in case the off chance that
the the participants on stage recognized me from the radio
and then it put them off, which I know, I know,
I know is a low probability.
Speaker 3 (17:27):
Or asked you to come up on stage.
Speaker 4 (17:29):
I know, it's like, oh my god, look he's here.
And then and then all of a sudden, the whole.
Speaker 2 (17:34):
And they get to see the magic man. Yes, wow,
how we oh my god? Soon who's but is that
Michael Jordan there?
Speaker 5 (17:42):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (17:42):
Please, mister MISSI.
Speaker 2 (17:43):
My good accompany that I'm intimidating now Robin Williams is here.
Speaker 1 (17:47):
Guys, I know it's.
Speaker 4 (17:54):
I'm off duty.
Speaker 2 (17:56):
Think of me as a mere audience member and not
the professional improviser.
Speaker 1 (18:00):
I am professionally funny. No script. Every day.
Speaker 2 (18:06):
I will be in the shadow and see imagine I
wasn't here.
Speaker 1 (18:12):
I wasn't here. I shouldn't have come.
Speaker 2 (18:13):
I shouldn't have come with my goo status and reputation
that follows me everywhere. Oh darned me so magnificent even
in the dark. I'm probably beaming right now and you
can see me illuminated.
Speaker 1 (18:32):
Good showers. Who could the show? All right? Coming up
after eight?
Speaker 2 (18:35):
There more improv from Jack and I showing your kids
how it's done. I mean to be honest, this show
is improv. There's no scripts over there, and at times
this real stinky improve.
Speaker 1 (18:49):
Okay, but Lisia know the pay to get that's what
we can say.
Speaker 4 (18:52):
We don't have an audience feedback.
Speaker 2 (18:55):
I don't know if well they email me, trust me,
I get the emails they will from Patsy.
Speaker 1 (19:01):
All right, coming up next to them.
Speaker 2 (19:02):
The name game, as in, if you've got one of
those names where you're so used to people going how
do you spell it?
Speaker 1 (19:09):
What did you say? Again?
Speaker 2 (19:10):
You have a kind of go to one line where
you say as in and you explain it in one
line to them like this, we turn it into a game.
Speaker 1 (19:17):
Mine's a surname, and it is as in lightning, thunder, Yes, wow,
not a great one strong name.
Speaker 3 (19:27):
My name is sirt and last and it's as in
Muriel's weddings sims yep, wow, that's amazing.
Speaker 6 (19:37):
Mine is my surname, and it's Ozzy or great ripper,
great browse is it?
Speaker 3 (19:46):
It's a surname, my name as in not petrol diesel.
Speaker 1 (19:53):
All right, that's how works. We try and guess your name.
Speaker 2 (19:55):
You tell you what's the phrase you use when you
are describing your name as in nine four one four
one O four three. If me check compants, none of
us can guess your name. You went to prize nine
four one four one O four three And it's all
improvised from audience interaction.
Speaker 7 (20:09):
The Christian O'Connell show podcast, What are the rules of
touching somebody's horse?
Speaker 4 (20:16):
Excuse me if you're if you're driving along, we were
driving in farmland and we saw some horses right on
the fence, so we pulled over to pat the horses.
Are you allowed to pat somebody's horse.
Speaker 1 (20:27):
I think he just be very respectful and very careful.
Speaker 4 (20:29):
Yes, which I was.
Speaker 1 (20:30):
But stroked them on the nose and he speaks to
me going.
Speaker 2 (20:35):
He's that voice, and hey, don't kick me in the
head with those big old legs.
Speaker 4 (20:39):
I got bitten that chopped at just you. He was
on my hip, so lucky I quick reflexes. I shielded
him away. Yeah, that could be like, hey, they're they're aggressive.
So there was three horses. Pat the first one. He's
very friendly. We pat the second one, then the third one.
Speaker 1 (20:57):
I feel very sorry for everyone who's just actually listened
to this. We're getting one of the lamest.
Speaker 2 (21:01):
Drama demonstrations we've seen of a man patching horse. If
you stroke me at that, I bite you. I'm actually
now on the side of this story of the horse.
Speaker 4 (21:10):
Well, the first two liked it, and then the third
one he had one of these mesh like a fencing
helmet over his eye.
Speaker 1 (21:17):
Getting on them.
Speaker 4 (21:18):
Is that what it's for?
Speaker 1 (21:19):
Would have been quite irritated, Yeah.
Speaker 4 (21:21):
Because I thought he looked irritated inside the mask. So
I thought, this guy's not getting any paths. We're not
patting him. Maybe I'll reach out and touch his neck
because he's not leaning over the fence like the other guys.
Speaker 1 (21:32):
Because he doesn't want to.
Speaker 4 (21:33):
Yeah, well that's what I found out. As soon as
I touch his neck, he quick smart bams around, chomping
on my horse your.
Speaker 2 (21:41):
Neck, so you don't even know. Just one of his
juniors start touching your neck, you'll rect. Yes, you've got
to respect them. And also they pick up on people's vibes.
Speaker 4 (21:50):
No, my vibes was very friendly.
Speaker 1 (21:51):
I doubt that very They go sub vibe.
Speaker 4 (21:54):
I was one with nature.
Speaker 2 (21:56):
They go sub vibe to pick up on something in you.
Speaker 4 (22:01):
His vibe was off. Horsey, he got this close to
my nipple slenator away. Yeah, he would have killed and
they when he chumps, that would have done some real damage.
Speaker 2 (22:12):
Do you remember scored this week called Horsey bites someone
like this?
Speaker 1 (22:15):
What that thing under the arm? Pitch horse bits?
Speaker 4 (22:20):
The pain of those And now I know where they
get the name from, because if this had a landed,
it would have really hurt. And he wrecked my good hoodie,
my favorite great one.
Speaker 2 (22:29):
Oh my going to go and take it up with
the farmer there, Patsy when he talks to her. Mean,
there's animal attacks stories. And then there's what happened to
the goat.
Speaker 4 (22:37):
Yeah, absolutely horrific.
Speaker 2 (22:40):
Patsy maintains that she was reared up in the nearby
and go so high she got lifted out of her
gum boots.
Speaker 1 (22:50):
It was still like.
Speaker 3 (22:51):
Shocking the horns almost like pierced my buttocks.
Speaker 4 (22:55):
It was horrific.
Speaker 1 (22:57):
Tuned into Carl and Jackie over that's their gear.
Speaker 3 (23:02):
And what's worse is it came read up behind me
so I couldn't All I could hear was the hoofs going,
and then I looked around and Bamo.
Speaker 1 (23:13):
Up the JACKSI terrible.
Speaker 4 (23:17):
That's awful.
Speaker 1 (23:22):
Apologies, Morning Prime score time.
Speaker 2 (23:26):
Run Up the JACKXI and that's this week's Up the Jacksie.
If you've got a story about Up the JACKXI, save
for the next Monday, please Christian O'Connell Show podcast, You've
got a big trip coming up. I'm heading back to
Europe to see my mom and dad this weekend. When
we head into our break.
Speaker 4 (23:42):
We're going to the US to see Bianca's family, which
is a great trip. Can't wait to go. But last
night something was proposed to me that I'm really worried about,
and I'm asking for a call to help, for anybody
who can essentially teach me how to hit a golf
ball straight in under a week. Now, I know you
did lessons for like a year before you gave up.
Speaker 2 (24:04):
Honestly, Jack, there are professionals that have performance issues can't
hit it straight in any great tournament, not the Masters.
There are people who are professional golfers who are in
the top one percent who still can't hit it straight. Sometimes,
Oh my god, you ain't going to do it in
a couple of days. So what game is lined up?
Speaker 4 (24:20):
So my father in law, who I'm forever trying to impress, right,
he's lining up.
Speaker 2 (24:26):
One of those.
Speaker 4 (24:27):
He's one of those.
Speaker 1 (24:27):
No man will ever be good enough.
Speaker 4 (24:29):
And this man, he said, we're going to play a
round of golf when you get here. And he said
it before, and I've said, no, no, I can't do it.
I've never played golf. I can't do it. I've been
to a driving range before and I'm slicing it everywhere,
hooking it the other way, is never going straight. He's like,
what we're doing is we're going to play what's called
(24:50):
a three par course. So every hole is only three par,
so it's a shorter distance to each hole.
Speaker 1 (24:57):
That's still really hard.
Speaker 4 (24:58):
That's what I said.
Speaker 1 (24:59):
It's like, unless she's going to let you kick it
down or throw it, there's no doubt whatsoever.
Speaker 4 (25:05):
You know, if you want to make it more even
for me to play, do mini golf off kind.
Speaker 1 (25:09):
Of the level aig, have a beer. It's good fun.
Speaker 2 (25:11):
No.
Speaker 4 (25:12):
So now he's like, now it's only one hit and
then you're on the green and then you only have
to go if you could hit it straight.
Speaker 1 (25:19):
Honestly, that the pressure shot in golf.
Speaker 2 (25:23):
Is when you're teeing off right, And what what golfers
do is they you're in your head. You're terrified you'll
have your father in law there. Plus it's not just
him playing, is there someone else joining you?
Speaker 4 (25:33):
This is the worst part. So Bank's sister married this
guy Brent last year, who's like.
Speaker 2 (25:39):
The way you spat that I don't like, Well, I
don't care you went Brent.
Speaker 4 (25:45):
But he is the quintessential all American knowledge athlete. Yeah,
you just picture a guy with his shirt off, looking good,
throwing the pig skin like on the beach.
Speaker 1 (25:56):
Bradley Cooper.
Speaker 4 (25:57):
Yes, anyway, he's a big golfer, so he's really keen
to go on the really keen to go on the
father in law golf impressing day. And then there's me
dragging life pet along as well. He's now lawyer as well,
So like business, we're rolling in the money for the family.
Like they'll talk business on the course, and I would
just be like jogging behind, how your shares doing at
(26:18):
the moment, looking for my ball in the how was.
Speaker 2 (26:20):
Your swing going at the moment, and have all this
kind of crusty old back by the way.
Speaker 1 (26:24):
What you're doing for clubs?
Speaker 4 (26:26):
Well, I guess they got to hire them.
Speaker 2 (26:27):
Oh no, well that is the shame of shame. You
stick out like a sword, and they're like old, rusty
sort of things.
Speaker 7 (26:35):
Made out of wood plus fours and a cap.
Speaker 4 (26:43):
I'm not going to spend thousands of dollars to go
and get measured up and buy some new clubs and
then take them pay extra.
Speaker 1 (26:48):
You need to hurt your back on the flight over.
You cannot play.
Speaker 4 (26:55):
I just need to hit straight.
Speaker 1 (26:57):
Ere we go forever.
Speaker 2 (26:59):
Just when you're teeing off, they'd be like making small
talk and bands and old Jack's looking a bit nervous, Dave,
And then you'll be don't shanking it to be going
off like, oh you play head guys, I catch up
whether high five? You're playing World Derek today? What are
you shooting off at the moment?
Speaker 1 (27:17):
Nine?
Speaker 4 (27:20):
Jack Bianko was in the Bianko was such a good
golfer as a kid. They lived on a golf course.
Is it my father or how serious he takes golfing? Wow,
Yanka and her siblings who are like in the local paper.
So you go to that house, they've got framed pictures
of Bianca.
Speaker 2 (27:35):
You know you don't play kid, This is a Recipeople
just ask you. Don't play golf.
Speaker 4 (27:41):
With those people business.
Speaker 1 (27:43):
No, they let me go. No, no, it just be
for fun. Those people don't play golf for fun.
Speaker 4 (27:47):
You know what's different. Plenty of times he's asked me
before will you play golf? And no, no, no, don't
want to. This time he used a new tactic that
I can't really wriggle out off. He goes, Jack, I
want to bond with you more, and I think we
should play golf together. What do you say to that.
You can't say no, I don't want to bond with you.
Speaker 2 (28:06):
Just say that There are many ways bar go to
bargo for a walk. In fact, why don't you say
you love playing pickaball fastest? Let's pickable together, father in law.
Speaker 4 (28:17):
You know what I'll tell you. One other time he
said that he wants to bond with me. There's a
place called the Japanese bath House here in Melbourne. And
when he was in Melbourne, you you you go and
have a good time. We don't have a good time.
You just going naked and you bath with other gentlemen,
(28:40):
including big bath.
Speaker 1 (28:43):
He wanted to that boy's going to get you in
a bunker. This is what I was talking about. I
found your balls Jack the Christian O'Connell show podcast.
Speaker 2 (28:55):
Jack has brought his guitar and today this is a
performance day for you, Jackie Boyce. So you're singing immediately
after the show.
Speaker 4 (29:01):
Yes, Bank and I are singing together today at Gordie's daycare.
We've been asked to perform four songs for the kids.
Well been asked. Bianca volunteered us other parents.
Speaker 2 (29:12):
That's the spirit, that's that's who you want and perform
what the children do.
Speaker 4 (29:15):
They asked parents to do, like can you come in
and do anything with the kids. Yesterday's parents just read
them a book.
Speaker 1 (29:21):
Come on and I'm guessing that you were practicing yesterday.
Speaker 4 (29:26):
Yes, I've rehearsed my songs. Do you want me to
play you in?
Speaker 2 (29:29):
I want to hear I want to hear the opener. Okay, Now,
first of all, you said that Bianch is your backup singer.
This is Jack and Biancher from a week ago at karaoke. Ah, man, Jack,
he's actually cruel to put that in front of young
minds who could be irreparably broken.
Speaker 1 (29:47):
But wait, he's got a backup singer. His wife suddenly
reading a book is what you two should be doing together.
Those poor children, think of the innocent minds.
Speaker 4 (29:58):
So we went into that karaoke session without any rehearsal Right,
we rehearsed our songs twice.
Speaker 1 (30:04):
Yeah, our whole playlist. How did he go? You're happy?
Speaker 4 (30:08):
Tell me I'm going to play you some Old McDonald
had a farm. Okay, Yeah, this is interactive as well
with the kids, so you guys can be the kid. Brilliantly,
Old McDonald had a farm.
Speaker 2 (30:24):
Someone's rushing through this, Patsy, Yeah, don't what he's been rehearsaling.
Speaker 1 (30:30):
This is with rehearsal.
Speaker 6 (30:32):
Hold hold on, McDonald, Old McDonald had a farm.
Speaker 4 (30:43):
I think your voice.
Speaker 1 (30:45):
Can you get the audio where chat went? You decide?
Oh my.
Speaker 4 (30:52):
Old McDonald had.
Speaker 1 (30:54):
A bit of a down.
Speaker 5 (30:55):
And now.
Speaker 1 (31:00):
That's tell you what.
Speaker 2 (31:01):
Listen, listen you get in your head, now, turn like
the voice right, spin around you do THEND then come
back now.
Speaker 1 (31:09):
But imagine that we are children, we're Gordon.
Speaker 2 (31:11):
Okay, So when you come back around on your chair,
get that game face on and not that pitchy high
too low.
Speaker 7 (31:17):
Crap morning children, good mister post. Now I am Gordy's
dad and this is Gordy's mom.
Speaker 4 (31:28):
And have we got some so.
Speaker 1 (31:32):
I love it?
Speaker 6 (31:33):
Have you guys ever heard of old McDonald? Yes, well
old McDonald.
Speaker 4 (31:38):
Had a farm?
Speaker 1 (31:40):
Found it? E?
Speaker 4 (31:43):
That's not.
Speaker 2 (31:46):
Am I?
Speaker 1 (31:47):
Please?
Speaker 2 (31:47):
No more, no more, Jack, if you are that nursery
council now nine four one four one four three Worst
children's entertainer ever
Speaker 1 (31:57):
Christian O'Connell s Gone Podcast
iHeart Podcasts.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
You can hear more Gold one I four point three podcasts,
playlist and listen live on the free iHeart app.
Speaker 3 (00:18):
Got anything good?
Speaker 4 (00:19):
Hey, this is the Christian Connell Show podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
Right now we're about to cross live to Colinwood Children's Farm.
Are the major sporting precinct revered all over the world.
Here the mcg amy Bark and now a new megadome,
Colinwood Children's Farm on that top paddock.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
It is time the talking is over.
Speaker 5 (00:44):
Now.
Speaker 2 (00:46):
I've just seen a photo of the starting blocks, sort
of thing you'd get at the Olympics for the one
had to Minister Jack personally requested.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
Behind my back. Don't worry if you think he's going
to get an unfair fantage. I've seen them. We obviously
borrowed some from a junior school.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
These are children's starting blocks, something you used to measure
feet with that the I'm a school year at the
shoe shop. Jack is a musician. He's he's piled on
the pressure to himself. He's invited his mom and dad
there so that they can see their son excel in
sporting victory for the first time. His son is also
(01:26):
there and his wife. Generations are there to witness. There's
some of you have turned up today.
Speaker 1 (01:32):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
And now I'm going to cross to the person who've
got to call today's race, which is Rio.
Speaker 1 (01:39):
Rio. Describe the scenes.
Speaker 5 (01:41):
There now, Christian, I feel like I've walked through a
wormhole and I've ended up in a parallel universe.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
This is so weird.
Speaker 5 (01:48):
There's a fully grown man, a father no less, in
full compression kit. Next to him, a brown pig being
cradled by the giant hulk of a man.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
Xavier's huge.
Speaker 4 (01:58):
They we're both big, We're both.
Speaker 5 (02:01):
Say of ten your same monks. I think Xavier might
win the race. It's a paddic. It's a beautiful paddic.
A little bit of cowpo around, but a beautiful clear day,
nothing impeding anyone's path. A lot of nerves, a lot
of excitement. There's a quiet and unease as we await
the start of the race.
Speaker 1 (02:20):
Tension hangs in the air.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
Jack a few words before you take a position on
the children's starting blocks, We've got.
Speaker 4 (02:29):
I can see my wife and son at the finish
line from where I stand at the starting blocks. What
better way to start his life than to see his
father absolutely demolish a pig at the Collingwood Children's Farm.
Speaker 6 (02:41):
I will not let you down, all right, Jackie boy, focus,
all right, take position.
Speaker 4 (02:50):
Rio, I'm ready.
Speaker 1 (02:52):
A lag is in the air, all right, so real.
This is how it's going to work. I'm going to
play the bugle. We all know this. I pay this rio.
Speaker 2 (02:59):
Then when I play the starting pistol, you lower the
flag and racing must commence.
Speaker 1 (03:05):
Got it? You're ready? Jack is he's falling over.
Speaker 4 (03:10):
He fell over, He's he's walked back, walked it back.
He's ready to go down.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
You know when they have one of the finalists and
a full stop, Yeah, they always lose. It's over, guys,
back up, let's go home. Shake trotters, Come on, Jack,
steady yourself center man center?
Speaker 1 (03:28):
Is he ready? He's ready? Good luck Jack, Good luck
Piggy Gonzalez. Let's do this. Three two one, Melbourny. Are
you ready? World? Are you ready? And they're away?
Speaker 5 (03:50):
A slow stuff from Piggy Gonzalez. He's lost his way
a bit, Jack posts streaming your head, he's streaming ahead.
Speaker 1 (03:56):
We ordered a champion.
Speaker 5 (04:00):
Like a mild absolutely smoked that pig.
Speaker 2 (04:08):
Of after thirty four years of being a sports. I
louns finally in front of his mom and his dad,
his son, his life. Emotional scenes here, He's actually one,
He's beat the race.
Speaker 5 (04:23):
His child, My god, his his arm is in the air,
he's jumping around, he's it seems like he's mocking the pig.
Speaker 1 (04:30):
Oh dear, that is that's not nice. Where's the pig.
Speaker 5 (04:35):
The pig is still yet to cross the line. The
pig is taking a very leisurely approach to this race.
We're still the pig has crossed the line.
Speaker 2 (04:45):
Spell down, pig, Piggy Gonzalez tough like a gallant loser.
Speaker 1 (04:50):
Jack post a few words from the winner.
Speaker 4 (04:53):
I want the first thing the pig. He really took
it to me. He's a fast boy, but there was no.
Speaker 6 (04:58):
Match in the speed of man.
Speaker 1 (05:03):
There's the rest of the year exactly.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
Oh my god, how does Jack, How does it feel
in front of your mum?
Speaker 1 (05:09):
You turned your son, your wife.
Speaker 4 (05:11):
I honestly floated. I didn't feel it. I didn't feel
the pain. I was pushing as hard as I could,
but I couldn't feel it. I was floating, and I
looked over mid race and I saw my son, and
he winked at me. And it made me run faster.
Speaker 1 (05:29):
Rio, take us see how the race went down.
Speaker 5 (05:32):
Well, it was a very slow start from the piggy
Gonzales and.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
He never quite recovered. Jack was fast, I will give
it to him.
Speaker 4 (05:39):
He was floating, but Piggy.
Speaker 5 (05:41):
Gonzales very slow to get out of the blocks. And
then I would say, probably never really got out of
first or second year, just sort of leisurely trotted over
the line.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
I turned around.
Speaker 4 (05:51):
Rio, did the pig ever run? I turned around, and
he walked the rest of the way down.
Speaker 1 (05:54):
To a canter. I would say.
Speaker 5 (05:55):
I wouldn't say Jack actually.
Speaker 1 (06:00):
Just raced himself.
Speaker 4 (06:01):
He Christian, I raced the pig and I won.
Speaker 1 (06:06):
He raced.
Speaker 4 (06:07):
What will the record books, what will the record books show?
Speaker 1 (06:10):
You're quite right that the pig walked it.
Speaker 4 (06:12):
Basically, that's not in the books.
Speaker 1 (06:14):
The books just said.
Speaker 2 (06:15):
I think the pig is always going on here and
thought the nice thing to do is let this guy win.
Speaker 1 (06:21):
Jack, Well, you are the deserved winner. You held your nerves,
you rased you one. Well done.
Speaker 4 (06:27):
Thank you, guys, Thank you for your support. Christian, you
were the only one who believed in me in this.
Speaker 1 (06:31):
Whole Sedately.
Speaker 2 (06:36):
All right, Jackie Boy, This song is for you, ladies
and gentlemen. The winner today, the one and only Jack Post.
Speaker 1 (06:43):
He took the pressure and he delivered. Thank you, Christian
O'Connell show go on podcast.
Speaker 2 (06:50):
Jack and I are very lucky working with Patsy just generally,
but sometimes she give us a little heads up about
what I call it inside training by the news just
suck ahead on the door and went, just I know
you're going to wear be zoo this weekend, Joe. Where
I ask somebody to do with the mere cats? What
is it they mating or something or their scat or I.
Speaker 3 (07:10):
Don't know whether it's to protect their health, but yeah,
just take a mask or have.
Speaker 4 (07:14):
They got like a swine blue a mewcat version of
that that can transfer to humans that I have to worry.
Speaker 3 (07:19):
About spreading that, Gord, you love the mew CAATs, you
can get up closer pass not of their disease.
Speaker 1 (07:25):
Why didn't the recats wear the masks themselves? Imagine that?
Speaker 2 (07:29):
Cute? So cute? Okay, Jackie boy, how did you get on?
Yesa We sent Jack Post to a psychic for the
very first time now. Particip Katelyn went last week and
she is a wide eyed zenit for this stuff. You know,
literally looks at pine cones and tea leaves and you
know the signs. The signs were good today.
Speaker 4 (07:50):
And everything that she got told, she was amazed that
the psychic knew, like, oh, the psychic knew I had
bad plumbing in my house? How did she know that?
So she I went along to the same psychic. Even
Kate Caitlin was so excited to book me in because
I'm more of a skeptic. Honestly, I don't really believe
in the supernatural rule. But I went in with an
open mind, and I can best describe what happened as
(08:14):
a good like a rot watching a really good magic trick.
So she did. She was capable of like getting a
whole lot of things about me, and you know, saying
names of like oh, yeah, is there an Andrew and Anthony,
an uncle Anthony walking? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (08:29):
Did you say, hey, what's your name? And then what happens?
Because you're pre booked online, So what actually happened?
Speaker 4 (08:34):
Yep, you say your name, So she goes jack post,
she writes it down, and then she asked for your
date of birth ten eleven, nineteen eighty seven.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
So she just starts doing numerology.
Speaker 4 (08:41):
Yep, she's got a little whiteboard in front of her,
and then she scribbles down a whole lot of numbers
like the so she goes. Then she's going really fast,
like is if she's channeling something. Bang bang bang, there's
a whole lot of numbers coming out. Oh you've got
eleven's very strong for you. You're an alpha male, she said,
And then you started to breaking up. It's like, oh,
(09:02):
this is all I like to hear that. Like I said,
magic trick.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
There's making the statue of even disappeared, and there's Shack.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
He's at alpha, so watch out.
Speaker 4 (09:13):
But you didn't know everyone, Well, I've got it somewhere
deep inside. So there were some things that I was
really impressed by. She really knew, like details about us
that that felt like, oh, that's really spot on about
Banker and I. But then I got a few things
that sounded familiar. The plumbing in my house it was
(09:35):
a bit dodgy as well.
Speaker 1 (09:37):
Ground house.
Speaker 2 (09:40):
Came to be a sad because every home in Victoria's
got shonky plumbing because how suddenly, how's it put together?
Speaker 4 (09:46):
And it felt like I was getting you know, it's
one of her highlights, or maybe her biggest hits is
the plumbing in your house, because I know Caitlyn got it.
Kaitlyn also got ten knives in the back, which is forthcoming.
Speaker 2 (09:58):
Her knives are yet to come, which is a big
thing to say to somebody, isn't it.
Speaker 4 (10:01):
I got the tennis spades as well, which means but
I had it in my history. So I've had ten
knives in my back. My god, thank god it's behind
you know, put that will buy the whole. Oh my god,
throwback Thursday, Jimmy went out and your back was actually
quite a lot of pain last year.
Speaker 1 (10:16):
That's true.
Speaker 4 (10:18):
She would love you because you make the connections that
she wants to hear.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
It's translation like a double act.
Speaker 4 (10:24):
Because sometimes I would say, she would say like, is
there an an in your past? And I would say no,
but you would be great at being there and making
connections like oh no, but you hadn't an Anthony, Uncle Anthony.
That sounds like so some other highways. There's a spirit
that lives in my shed, in my garden shed.
Speaker 2 (10:44):
Now, I I will tend to believe that because whenever
you buy a new place of property, there is energy
and spirits there.
Speaker 1 (10:51):
I believe that.
Speaker 4 (10:51):
Yeah, but what's he doing in the garden shed?
Speaker 1 (10:53):
Pain ran? Hey, little feller, what's he doing?
Speaker 3 (10:56):
Is he a friendly spirit?
Speaker 4 (10:57):
She says, not like a polter gey. It's not like
a ghost ole bump into. It's just it's an energy
back there amongst the murmur and stuff.
Speaker 1 (11:03):
You ever found anything in there? Cold? Hot?
Speaker 4 (11:05):
I mean, I like going in there, but because it's
got spiders and mosquitos that.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
The energy is making you feel like that.
Speaker 4 (11:10):
I've got two or multiple spirits in the dining room and.
Speaker 1 (11:13):
The Gordian bianca.
Speaker 4 (11:16):
They told the spirits don't like how we've set up
the dining room.
Speaker 1 (11:20):
Do you agree it? Has it changed recently?
Speaker 4 (11:23):
We did change it. It used to be the living room,
and then we swapped the living room in the dining
room around, and she said that would be it. How
are they going to.
Speaker 1 (11:33):
I'm meant to say that, Oh yeah, that, yep, we've
got that one.
Speaker 2 (11:39):
Don't forget to temp at the end because of that one.
Speaker 1 (11:42):
You know, we got that right about the dining room table.
Speaker 4 (11:44):
At one point she said, is there William or Walter.
Speaker 1 (11:48):
Two completely ven names?
Speaker 4 (11:50):
And I said, well, I mean my sister in law's
dog in l A is Walter. No, and she goes, okay,
getting something from him. He's got Tommy problems. Oh, come on,
he's got to do you even tell your sister. I
haven't even confirmed that with her yet. I'll check out
if that's real.
Speaker 1 (12:11):
If he has, they deal with it, you know.
Speaker 4 (12:13):
But the biggest one I got, and she's she's bringing
out she's got a pack of playing cards and she's
bringing out different numbers all the time. I don't know
what she means, but you know, she's like the three
that's celebration for something to do with work.
Speaker 2 (12:24):
Then all of a sudden she's having a great I
there's nothing for you.
Speaker 4 (12:28):
She says, my time and my current workplace is temporary. No,
she did, Jack.
Speaker 1 (12:37):
That is a big thing to say to somebody.
Speaker 4 (12:39):
But by this time I was already starting to lose
believability in the whole.
Speaker 1 (12:43):
But she pulls you back with that one. Didn't make
you think it did?
Speaker 2 (12:47):
No?
Speaker 1 (12:47):
I did really.
Speaker 2 (12:52):
Look at me and be honest when she first told
you that, did part of you leave with joy?
Speaker 1 (12:57):
No?
Speaker 4 (12:57):
No, it didn't happened. What happened I heard that? I thought, No, Like,
come on, I don't want to leave the show. And
then I thought, like, I wonder if there's something about
like a four day week in the car.
Speaker 1 (13:08):
Here we go. Oh, I've just turned over the number. No,
it's to the five. Keep toning, keep turning. Wow.
Speaker 4 (13:21):
No, no, I'm staying on this show. She said, it's
like temporary could mean ten years, and then I'll permanent.
Speaker 1 (13:36):
Morning.
Speaker 4 (13:37):
I'm not going anywhere, right.
Speaker 2 (13:38):
I told my wife this last night. I said, oh, look,
you know about the knives and the plumbing was up there. Yes,
said the other thing is she said, you know about
him being temporary on the show. Wife goes, Pats will
get really upset.
Speaker 5 (13:49):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:49):
She actually said one of the producers have a speech
speaks he beforehand to say this hasn't happened.
Speaker 1 (13:54):
It's not happening about the dog with a splitch.
Speaker 2 (13:59):
Alsoide, do you think temporary could be ten You don't
get temporary pain? Really you how long is this will
last for ten years? You're never be in temporary paid week.
Speaker 4 (14:12):
Well, because she'd already used the at one point, she said,
you'll move to a farm and I said, oh, we're
really happy where we are. We only just bought our
house last year. And she said yeah, that's that could
be aged the way like that could be ten twenty
years away.
Speaker 2 (14:25):
Again, the whole timeline here now it's very lucy goosey.
Speaker 4 (14:32):
If I'm staying on the show, I promise you this is.
Speaker 1 (14:35):
Your decision, true, Bobby.
Speaker 4 (14:38):
Temporary, I'm going to see Sue the Bustlers after or
even at nine. I won't even said this afternoon.
Speaker 1 (14:44):
She's on a way right now.
Speaker 2 (14:46):
Patsy, how do you feel about going to see Reto
the Psychic next week?
Speaker 3 (14:50):
I would no, seriously, hand on my heart.
Speaker 1 (14:52):
I would love to, but I'm a bit scared after
you go.
Speaker 4 (14:57):
I seriously would love to. You know, I'm running back and.
Speaker 2 (14:59):
Then we know, right once and for all, if you
come back pack to the next day, then there's ten knives.
Actually no, maybe you put in ten nights.
Speaker 1 (15:09):
Perhaps doing the Plunger Christian O'Connell show podcast.
Speaker 4 (15:14):
We went to see a local improv night a Comedy
Republic in the city. It's brilliant, actually yeah, and they
had special guests and Edmund On.
Speaker 1 (15:23):
She is so very very funny, funny start. I think
she's awesome.
Speaker 4 (15:27):
Improv is something that we've shied away from for a
long time because years ago. I took Biank's parents and
Bianca to an improv show and it was just so bad.
Speaker 2 (15:39):
Way to say, it's horrendous when it's great, it's unbelievable.
Speaker 1 (15:43):
But there's no medium, is there was there?
Speaker 4 (15:45):
There was just no laughter the whole time, So four
people sat in silence. There wasn't even the kind of
laughter where you could pretend that you're having fun.
Speaker 2 (15:55):
You start to actually hate the people doing that. I
start to imagine bad things befalling them.
Speaker 4 (16:01):
And they they start to be aware that whatever they
were doing is.
Speaker 2 (16:07):
You're eating one and you're making up eating one. They
probably use that as an unfunny sketch.
Speaker 4 (16:11):
Yeah, we still do the full hour.
Speaker 2 (16:13):
And were they asking so last night it was good?
And were they obviously the audience heavily involved. He sent
out suggestions next to.
Speaker 4 (16:21):
The exactly they yell out, like you say a random
word that you're thinking of. I don't like to do
audience participation, though, so I leave that to others.
Speaker 1 (16:28):
Patsy. By the way, before the show today, jack old.
Speaker 4 (16:34):
No no no no.
Speaker 2 (16:37):
Started find each other A couple of no no nots
a couple of years.
Speaker 1 (16:42):
Are you hanging in your no no, no no, no.
Speaker 2 (16:44):
No, because users barely we should all be allowed a
kind of no no no over the over the course
of the shows.
Speaker 1 (16:49):
No no no. If you don't want to, I won't no. Okay,
well no, I prefer the way that I always always
have it up top.
Speaker 2 (16:55):
I always have it up there, even if I'm handing
you an award. I always spend your year. Do you
remember why he didn't do that improv Oh, I would
just jacko semyone the center of the year.
Speaker 4 (17:05):
I would just rather handle it than you retell it.
I said Christian Rea that I didn't like to yell
out a suggestion just in case the off chance that
the the participants on stage recognized me from the radio
and then it put them off, which I know, I know,
I know is a low probability.
Speaker 3 (17:27):
Or asked you to come up on stage.
Speaker 4 (17:29):
I know, it's like, oh my god, look he's here.
And then and then all of a sudden, the whole.
Speaker 2 (17:34):
And they get to see the magic man. Yes, wow,
how we oh my god? Soon who's but is that
Michael Jordan there?
Speaker 5 (17:42):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (17:42):
Please, mister MISSI.
Speaker 2 (17:43):
My good accompany that I'm intimidating now Robin Williams is here.
Speaker 1 (17:47):
Guys, I know it's.
Speaker 4 (17:54):
I'm off duty.
Speaker 2 (17:56):
Think of me as a mere audience member and not
the professional improviser.
Speaker 1 (18:00):
I am professionally funny. No script. Every day.
Speaker 2 (18:06):
I will be in the shadow and see imagine I
wasn't here.
Speaker 1 (18:12):
I wasn't here. I shouldn't have come.
Speaker 2 (18:13):
I shouldn't have come with my goo status and reputation
that follows me everywhere. Oh darned me so magnificent even
in the dark. I'm probably beaming right now and you
can see me illuminated.
Speaker 1 (18:32):
Good showers. Who could the show? All right? Coming up
after eight?
Speaker 2 (18:35):
There more improv from Jack and I showing your kids
how it's done. I mean to be honest, this show
is improv. There's no scripts over there, and at times
this real stinky improve.
Speaker 1 (18:49):
Okay, but Lisia know the pay to get that's what
we can say.
Speaker 4 (18:52):
We don't have an audience feedback.
Speaker 2 (18:55):
I don't know if well they email me, trust me,
I get the emails they will from Patsy.
Speaker 1 (19:01):
All right, coming up next to them.
Speaker 2 (19:02):
The name game, as in, if you've got one of
those names where you're so used to people going how
do you spell it?
Speaker 1 (19:09):
What did you say? Again?
Speaker 2 (19:10):
You have a kind of go to one line where
you say as in and you explain it in one
line to them like this, we turn it into a game.
Speaker 1 (19:17):
Mine's a surname, and it is as in lightning, thunder, Yes, wow,
not a great one strong name.
Speaker 3 (19:27):
My name is sirt and last and it's as in
Muriel's weddings sims yep, wow, that's amazing.
Speaker 6 (19:37):
Mine is my surname, and it's Ozzy or great ripper,
great browse is it?
Speaker 3 (19:46):
It's a surname, my name as in not petrol diesel.
Speaker 1 (19:53):
All right, that's how works. We try and guess your name.
Speaker 2 (19:55):
You tell you what's the phrase you use when you
are describing your name as in nine four one four
one O four three. If me check compants, none of
us can guess your name. You went to prize nine
four one four one O four three And it's all
improvised from audience interaction.
Speaker 7 (20:09):
The Christian O'Connell show podcast, What are the rules of
touching somebody's horse?
Speaker 4 (20:16):
Excuse me if you're if you're driving along, we were
driving in farmland and we saw some horses right on
the fence, so we pulled over to pat the horses.
Are you allowed to pat somebody's horse.
Speaker 1 (20:27):
I think he just be very respectful and very careful.
Speaker 4 (20:29):
Yes, which I was.
Speaker 1 (20:30):
But stroked them on the nose and he speaks to
me going.
Speaker 2 (20:35):
He's that voice, and hey, don't kick me in the
head with those big old legs.
Speaker 4 (20:39):
I got bitten that chopped at just you. He was
on my hip, so lucky I quick reflexes. I shielded
him away. Yeah, that could be like, hey, they're they're aggressive.
So there was three horses. Pat the first one. He's
very friendly. We pat the second one, then the third one.
Speaker 1 (20:57):
I feel very sorry for everyone who's just actually listened
to this. We're getting one of the lamest.
Speaker 2 (21:01):
Drama demonstrations we've seen of a man patching horse. If
you stroke me at that, I bite you. I'm actually
now on the side of this story of the horse.
Speaker 4 (21:10):
Well, the first two liked it, and then the third
one he had one of these mesh like a fencing
helmet over his eye.
Speaker 1 (21:17):
Getting on them.
Speaker 4 (21:18):
Is that what it's for?
Speaker 1 (21:19):
Would have been quite irritated, Yeah.
Speaker 4 (21:21):
Because I thought he looked irritated inside the mask. So
I thought, this guy's not getting any paths. We're not
patting him. Maybe I'll reach out and touch his neck
because he's not leaning over the fence like the other guys.
Speaker 1 (21:32):
Because he doesn't want to.
Speaker 4 (21:33):
Yeah, well that's what I found out. As soon as
I touch his neck, he quick smart bams around, chomping
on my horse your.
Speaker 2 (21:41):
Neck, so you don't even know. Just one of his
juniors start touching your neck, you'll rect. Yes, you've got
to respect them. And also they pick up on people's vibes.
Speaker 4 (21:50):
No, my vibes was very friendly.
Speaker 1 (21:51):
I doubt that very They go sub vibe.
Speaker 4 (21:54):
I was one with nature.
Speaker 2 (21:56):
They go sub vibe to pick up on something in you.
Speaker 4 (22:01):
His vibe was off. Horsey, he got this close to
my nipple slenator away. Yeah, he would have killed and
they when he chumps, that would have done some real damage.
Speaker 2 (22:12):
Do you remember scored this week called Horsey bites someone
like this?
Speaker 1 (22:15):
What that thing under the arm? Pitch horse bits?
Speaker 4 (22:20):
The pain of those And now I know where they
get the name from, because if this had a landed,
it would have really hurt. And he wrecked my good hoodie,
my favorite great one.
Speaker 2 (22:29):
Oh my going to go and take it up with
the farmer there, Patsy when he talks to her. Mean,
there's animal attacks stories. And then there's what happened to
the goat.
Speaker 4 (22:37):
Yeah, absolutely horrific.
Speaker 2 (22:40):
Patsy maintains that she was reared up in the nearby
and go so high she got lifted out of her
gum boots.
Speaker 1 (22:50):
It was still like.
Speaker 3 (22:51):
Shocking the horns almost like pierced my buttocks.
Speaker 4 (22:55):
It was horrific.
Speaker 1 (22:57):
Tuned into Carl and Jackie over that's their gear.
Speaker 3 (23:02):
And what's worse is it came read up behind me
so I couldn't All I could hear was the hoofs going,
and then I looked around and Bamo.
Speaker 1 (23:13):
Up the JACKSI terrible.
Speaker 4 (23:17):
That's awful.
Speaker 1 (23:22):
Apologies, Morning Prime score time.
Speaker 2 (23:26):
Run Up the JACKXI and that's this week's Up the Jacksie.
If you've got a story about Up the JACKXI, save
for the next Monday, please Christian O'Connell Show podcast, You've
got a big trip coming up. I'm heading back to
Europe to see my mom and dad this weekend. When
we head into our break.
Speaker 4 (23:42):
We're going to the US to see Bianca's family, which
is a great trip. Can't wait to go. But last
night something was proposed to me that I'm really worried about,
and I'm asking for a call to help, for anybody
who can essentially teach me how to hit a golf
ball straight in under a week. Now, I know you
did lessons for like a year before you gave up.
Speaker 2 (24:04):
Honestly, Jack, there are professionals that have performance issues can't
hit it straight in any great tournament, not the Masters.
There are people who are professional golfers who are in
the top one percent who still can't hit it straight. Sometimes,
Oh my god, you ain't going to do it in
a couple of days. So what game is lined up?
Speaker 4 (24:20):
So my father in law, who I'm forever trying to impress, right,
he's lining up.
Speaker 2 (24:26):
One of those.
Speaker 4 (24:27):
He's one of those.
Speaker 1 (24:27):
No man will ever be good enough.
Speaker 4 (24:29):
And this man, he said, we're going to play a
round of golf when you get here. And he said
it before, and I've said, no, no, I can't do it.
I've never played golf. I can't do it. I've been
to a driving range before and I'm slicing it everywhere,
hooking it the other way, is never going straight. He's like,
what we're doing is we're going to play what's called
(24:50):
a three par course. So every hole is only three par,
so it's a shorter distance to each hole.
Speaker 1 (24:57):
That's still really hard.
Speaker 4 (24:58):
That's what I said.
Speaker 1 (24:59):
It's like, unless she's going to let you kick it
down or throw it, there's no doubt whatsoever.
Speaker 4 (25:05):
You know, if you want to make it more even
for me to play, do mini golf off kind.
Speaker 1 (25:09):
Of the level aig, have a beer. It's good fun.
Speaker 2 (25:11):
No.
Speaker 4 (25:12):
So now he's like, now it's only one hit and
then you're on the green and then you only have
to go if you could hit it straight.
Speaker 1 (25:19):
Honestly, that the pressure shot in golf.
Speaker 2 (25:23):
Is when you're teeing off right, And what what golfers
do is they you're in your head. You're terrified you'll
have your father in law there. Plus it's not just
him playing, is there someone else joining you?
Speaker 4 (25:33):
This is the worst part. So Bank's sister married this
guy Brent last year, who's like.
Speaker 2 (25:39):
The way you spat that I don't like, Well, I
don't care you went Brent.
Speaker 4 (25:45):
But he is the quintessential all American knowledge athlete. Yeah,
you just picture a guy with his shirt off, looking good,
throwing the pig skin like on the beach.
Speaker 1 (25:56):
Bradley Cooper.
Speaker 4 (25:57):
Yes, anyway, he's a big golfer, so he's really keen
to go on the really keen to go on the
father in law golf impressing day. And then there's me
dragging life pet along as well. He's now lawyer as well,
So like business, we're rolling in the money for the family.
Like they'll talk business on the course, and I would
just be like jogging behind, how your shares doing at
(26:18):
the moment, looking for my ball in the how was.
Speaker 2 (26:20):
Your swing going at the moment, and have all this
kind of crusty old back by the way.
Speaker 1 (26:24):
What you're doing for clubs?
Speaker 4 (26:26):
Well, I guess they got to hire them.
Speaker 2 (26:27):
Oh no, well that is the shame of shame. You
stick out like a sword, and they're like old, rusty
sort of things.
Speaker 7 (26:35):
Made out of wood plus fours and a cap.
Speaker 4 (26:43):
I'm not going to spend thousands of dollars to go
and get measured up and buy some new clubs and
then take them pay extra.
Speaker 1 (26:48):
You need to hurt your back on the flight over.
You cannot play.
Speaker 4 (26:55):
I just need to hit straight.
Speaker 1 (26:57):
Ere we go forever.
Speaker 2 (26:59):
Just when you're teeing off, they'd be like making small
talk and bands and old Jack's looking a bit nervous, Dave,
And then you'll be don't shanking it to be going
off like, oh you play head guys, I catch up
whether high five? You're playing World Derek today? What are
you shooting off at the moment?
Speaker 1 (27:17):
Nine?
Speaker 4 (27:20):
Jack Bianko was in the Bianko was such a good
golfer as a kid. They lived on a golf course.
Is it my father or how serious he takes golfing? Wow,
Yanka and her siblings who are like in the local paper.
So you go to that house, they've got framed pictures
of Bianca.
Speaker 2 (27:35):
You know you don't play kid, This is a Recipeople
just ask you. Don't play golf.
Speaker 4 (27:41):
With those people business.
Speaker 1 (27:43):
No, they let me go. No, no, it just be
for fun. Those people don't play golf for fun.
Speaker 4 (27:47):
You know what's different. Plenty of times he's asked me
before will you play golf? And no, no, no, don't
want to. This time he used a new tactic that
I can't really wriggle out off. He goes, Jack, I
want to bond with you more, and I think we
should play golf together. What do you say to that.
You can't say no, I don't want to bond with you.
Speaker 2 (28:06):
Just say that There are many ways bar go to
bargo for a walk. In fact, why don't you say
you love playing pickaball fastest? Let's pickable together, father in law.
Speaker 4 (28:17):
You know what I'll tell you. One other time he
said that he wants to bond with me. There's a
place called the Japanese bath House here in Melbourne. And
when he was in Melbourne, you you you go and
have a good time. We don't have a good time.
You just going naked and you bath with other gentlemen,
(28:40):
including big bath.
Speaker 1 (28:43):
He wanted to that boy's going to get you in
a bunker. This is what I was talking about. I
found your balls Jack the Christian O'Connell show podcast.
Speaker 2 (28:55):
Jack has brought his guitar and today this is a
performance day for you, Jackie Boyce. So you're singing immediately
after the show.
Speaker 4 (29:01):
Yes, Bank and I are singing together today at Gordie's daycare.
We've been asked to perform four songs for the kids.
Well been asked. Bianca volunteered us other parents.
Speaker 2 (29:12):
That's the spirit, that's that's who you want and perform
what the children do.
Speaker 4 (29:15):
They asked parents to do, like can you come in
and do anything with the kids. Yesterday's parents just read
them a book.
Speaker 1 (29:21):
Come on and I'm guessing that you were practicing yesterday.
Speaker 4 (29:26):
Yes, I've rehearsed my songs. Do you want me to
play you in?
Speaker 2 (29:29):
I want to hear I want to hear the opener. Okay, Now,
first of all, you said that Bianch is your backup singer.
This is Jack and Biancher from a week ago at karaoke. Ah, man, Jack,
he's actually cruel to put that in front of young
minds who could be irreparably broken.
Speaker 1 (29:47):
But wait, he's got a backup singer. His wife suddenly
reading a book is what you two should be doing together.
Those poor children, think of the innocent minds.
Speaker 4 (29:58):
So we went into that karaoke session without any rehearsal Right,
we rehearsed our songs twice.
Speaker 1 (30:04):
Yeah, our whole playlist. How did he go? You're happy?
Speaker 4 (30:08):
Tell me I'm going to play you some Old McDonald
had a farm. Okay, Yeah, this is interactive as well
with the kids, so you guys can be the kid. Brilliantly,
Old McDonald had a farm.
Speaker 2 (30:24):
Someone's rushing through this, Patsy, Yeah, don't what he's been rehearsaling.
Speaker 1 (30:30):
This is with rehearsal.
Speaker 6 (30:32):
Hold hold on, McDonald, Old McDonald had a farm.
Speaker 4 (30:43):
I think your voice.
Speaker 1 (30:45):
Can you get the audio where chat went? You decide?
Oh my.
Speaker 4 (30:52):
Old McDonald had.
Speaker 1 (30:54):
A bit of a down.
Speaker 5 (30:55):
And now.
Speaker 1 (31:00):
That's tell you what.
Speaker 2 (31:01):
Listen, listen you get in your head, now, turn like
the voice right, spin around you do THEND then come
back now.
Speaker 1 (31:09):
But imagine that we are children, we're Gordon.
Speaker 2 (31:11):
Okay, So when you come back around on your chair,
get that game face on and not that pitchy high
too low.
Speaker 7 (31:17):
Crap morning children, good mister post. Now I am Gordy's
dad and this is Gordy's mom.
Speaker 4 (31:28):
And have we got some so.
Speaker 1 (31:32):
I love it?
Speaker 6 (31:33):
Have you guys ever heard of old McDonald? Yes, well
old McDonald.
Speaker 4 (31:38):
Had a farm?
Speaker 1 (31:40):
Found it? E?
Speaker 4 (31:43):
That's not.
Speaker 2 (31:46):
Am I?
Speaker 1 (31:47):
Please?
Speaker 2 (31:47):
No more, no more, Jack, if you are that nursery
council now nine four one four one four three Worst
children's entertainer ever
Speaker 1 (31:57):
Christian O'Connell s Gone Podcast
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