June 22, 2025 • 44 mins
Have you subscribed to Slippery Slope yet?
It's Dave and Brad's "true crime" podcast series.
Tonight, they're journeying to Bairnsdale.
A casual three hour drive into Gippsland for a gig!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
All right, welcome to the debrief. It's Stay O'Neill here
with my sergeant in arms Brah.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
It looks hello reporting.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
Going for a drive to a little game.
Speaker 3 (00:17):
They drive back with Caledon de Breed. It's Caldon d Breath.
It's Calton D Tree. It's Calton D Tree. It's Calton Breath.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
We're here just to me and you know Henry, No,
Peter Oson, No, sna Sonya, no one. And where we going, Brad?
Speaker 4 (00:51):
We're going to Brandsdown, Bainsdale, the Forge Theater, Man.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
Victoria, three and a half hours east.
Speaker 1 (01:04):
It's a long way.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
It is a long way, isn't it.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
Just stop to the servoy then? And I don't know
you want to pie? So I don't know where I'm
going to get dinner.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
I just don't know. Yeah, well the Bends is pretty
big town.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
There's a big town. But there's a kind of a
timing issue, isn't there. Yeah, well it's getting there and
doing a sound check and all that.
Speaker 2 (01:27):
But we aren't in the davemobile.
Speaker 4 (01:29):
So there's probably like a lot of bountiful food secreted
around in here.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
Yeah's AIChE somewhere.
Speaker 4 (01:37):
Like if we have a crashy airbag pops out, I
get hit by fifteen wagon wheels.
Speaker 1 (01:44):
Which aren't they good anymore?
Speaker 2 (01:46):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (01:47):
Still not podcast? Yeah wrong podcast? And also you know
you get one from a cake shop, they're really good
now yeah, it's all Queensland thing to make wagonund have.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
You ever eaten vanilla ice cream using a wagon? Will know?
It's very nice, very nice, very good.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
Tip. I don't have sweet No, you don't have a
sweet tooth.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
No, this is all savory well savory. Wow.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
So you don't ever buy like a chocolate.
Speaker 4 (02:16):
Bar, I will ever know? And then I haven't been
in chocolate. But it's kind of like, you know, it's
it's I failed to see why people get so excited
about it. Okay, right, give me a pizza and I
will do anything.
Speaker 2 (02:34):
May as well.
Speaker 1 (02:34):
We'll get tonight nor we normally like when we went
to Chep we went to Moduro. We got those old
school pizzas. They are the best, you.
Speaker 2 (02:42):
Know we had. I think we had a good pizza
last year and you somewhere too.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
Remember the last time I went to Bansty there was
a pizza disaster at that pub.
Speaker 2 (02:52):
That's what I was.
Speaker 4 (02:56):
That.
Speaker 1 (02:57):
I don't know if I knew people have taken it over,
but well, you.
Speaker 4 (03:00):
Know, look, I think I was spoken about their pigeon
disaster before, you know, about when they crowned the scene
on officially opened Melbourne blew the pigeons. There were two
two outdoor pit bosses or whatever, and one of them
said release the doves and the other one said turn
on the final sculptures.
Speaker 2 (03:20):
Massacred them and they got fined a lot of money
and it was very tragic and so on. So I
feel like this was almost of that scale that they've
just gone.
Speaker 4 (03:30):
We'll get Dave O'Neill down here in Bensdale and everybody
who buys a ticket gets a free pizza or get
some pizza with it. Well, let's why don't we get
eat machine that makes two pizzas at once and see
how long it takes us.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
Yeah, it didn't work anyway, They needed Jesus, they needed something.
We of course have to mention on new podcast Slippery Slope,
which which happened because of this touring, that silly of
Wordsworth production has been organized in these regional tours for us,
and we went to Mount Isa and what happened?
Speaker 4 (04:06):
What happened brat what we found in Mount Isa was
We got there very early, couldn't check in our hotel.
A woman from the municipal council who was kindly driving
us around, told us a wonderful tale about the water
slide that was late.
Speaker 1 (04:24):
Yeah, so they wanted a water slide. That's a whole
saga in itself, and then because there was opposition on
the council and then well they ordered it from Turkey,
where water slides now get made. We learned, you learned
so many things from this and basically there was an
incident in the Sewers Canal and pirates were involved.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
And so we've done a true crime.
Speaker 1 (04:44):
Yeah, it's true crime. We're not the next Cereal.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
Or I mean, we're not women, but we will. We
aren't rattling this crime.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
We both listened to that Hamish podcast, Who the Hell Hamish?
Speaker 2 (04:55):
Who the Hell?
Speaker 1 (04:56):
This is a great podcast by the guy from the Australian.
We're like, we're pretty much going for his job. Yeah,
well that's I'm surprised. We're not going to do a
Q And at the end of this on the slippery slope,
where which are the thousands of people turning up going?
We don't care about your stand up, tell us more
about the water slide of Mount Eier.
Speaker 4 (05:13):
You've been waiting by the final week for six minutes, George, Next, George, Dave,
Dave O'Niel.
Speaker 1 (05:20):
You can be Ian Leslie and I'll be out of it,
out of it.
Speaker 2 (05:25):
Yeah, I'm I'm Dave O'Neill, I'm Brad Oaks. This is
six minutes. Well it's not forty two minutes. But anyway, Look, the.
Speaker 1 (05:34):
Good thing about that podcast is a short one only,
it's only a four parter. But have a listen. Let's
you'll hear me and Brad.
Speaker 2 (05:41):
There may be a bonus. You never know, there may
be a bonus, you know, because worldwide conspiracy and.
Speaker 1 (05:49):
I could uncover other things, exactly different things.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
Maybe maybe water slides are going missing all over the Giant.
Speaker 1 (05:58):
We're into argon, Brad.
Speaker 4 (05:59):
And so when we're talking about the water slide here people,
we're talking about a massive, a big one.
Speaker 1 (06:05):
Hey, let's just reminisce about doing gigs of that pub
with the late Dave Grant. Was it that pub? Yeah,
wasn't that room there?
Speaker 2 (06:09):
Royal?
Speaker 1 (06:11):
This one there. I've got gigs in that room right there.
Speaker 4 (06:12):
I did one in there once with a whole lot
of that's you did well, I did well, and they
didn't do well, and they couldn't say anything. All the
way back to Melbourne.
Speaker 1 (06:23):
There was this one too.
Speaker 2 (06:25):
How was that one? There was a saloon bar around
the corner. Yes, we did comedy.
Speaker 1 (06:30):
There, and also that nightclub. It's called I should remember.
I make jokes about it. It's got a sunken dance floor.
It's now a functions center. Brad.
Speaker 2 (06:41):
Oh, yes, it's called the.
Speaker 1 (06:44):
The hang On. I can't remember what's called.
Speaker 2 (06:48):
I remember it was that part of your Manhattan. I
tell room.
Speaker 1 (06:53):
If I'm around here, I would do it.
Speaker 2 (06:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (06:55):
This is a McDonald's where they often have a bouncer
and a.
Speaker 4 (06:57):
Velvet bounces two bounces and two bounces and the velvet
and if you really want upset on me mate, I
just want to warp.
Speaker 1 (07:12):
The Tarragon one. It's called the Another Paradise. The so
many times I remember it. By the end of it,
I'm having a noble moment. We call this weather podcast.
There's another podcast that's all you do so.
Speaker 2 (07:30):
Well.
Speaker 1 (07:30):
You know, Glenn Robbins will be listening to the Slippery
Slope podcast and be correcting you at nauseum. Oh no,
he was lying there like that's wrong. That's wrong, because
you often correct Glenn, so I've corrected him, yeah, twice.
Speaker 2 (07:45):
It does. It's it's something that I've desisted from. I
no longer do it.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
Because he's one of the kings of comedy.
Speaker 2 (07:55):
Well, he's a nice man, Glenn.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
Of course, we're the nice guys are comedy.
Speaker 2 (08:00):
I will continue to correct dickheads.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
Yeah, it's good.
Speaker 4 (08:06):
As I us. I mean, I'm bitten by the dog
the other day and outside this cafe, and I was.
I messaged somebody on Facebook and I said, they said, here,
you're right, I said, yeah, but I felt really bad
for the woman who was pushing the baby in the
pram past me. When I told the dog what I
thought of, I called it a non human I mean
(08:30):
a human name.
Speaker 1 (08:33):
You gotta be careful with my sort of dog.
Speaker 4 (08:35):
Was It was an American pit ball. It seemed friendly,
and I I was, yeah, I was over confident. Was
I'm not blaming the dog, I'm not blaming the owner.
I made the mistake of thinking that I was a
dog whisperer, and I'm not. And so I'll just go
back to just complimenting dogs.
Speaker 1 (08:55):
Now, no idea.
Speaker 2 (08:58):
You're a fine looking fella. Don't get out of the car.
Speaker 1 (09:02):
I find any of those pitbull kind of types of dogs,
keep away from them. You know, I know people love them,
but I'm more.
Speaker 2 (09:08):
Likely to diet at the teeth of a chihuala pit
boards are You're.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
Going to die at the teeth of Mitzi rather than
Satan or Rocky exactly? Yeah, well, yeah, you know, one
of their dads at schools a vet and he said
different areas of Melbourney have different types of dogs. So
bay Side's got all the white fluffy ones, he said,
and out north and west it's all it's all Satan
rocky pit bulls.
Speaker 2 (09:33):
And yeah, yea.
Speaker 1 (09:36):
Alsatians Bayside where it's sort of where you live in
that which is the Posha kind of area. Yeah, they
are more white fluffies.
Speaker 4 (09:44):
There's a good chance, like if you want to, you know,
apply logic to it, there's a good chance that the
places where they have the Satans, they do have their
little white fluffy.
Speaker 2 (09:55):
Dogs, but only for a limited die. Yeah. Well you
know how people feed, like you know, there's mice.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:11):
In fact, you might in fact move to.
Speaker 4 (10:15):
A suburb that has the more miniature toy dog just
to feed your rum.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
Yes, great day, like I saw in the Pitchhop yesterday,
they have frozen rats and to feed your snakes or whatever.
Speaker 4 (10:29):
They Yeah, that's that's that great mice. That's that great joke.
But the kid who goes, excuse me, it goes, excuse me,
do you have a bunny rabbit? I want to get
a bunny rabbit, and then goes there going the picture
goes sure it would you like a nice fluffy white
one or a black rom and he goes, I don't
(10:51):
give I don't think my rattlesnake gives a fuck.
Speaker 1 (10:53):
What that's funny.
Speaker 2 (10:57):
I've heard that. I know there.
Speaker 1 (10:59):
You got a new joke.
Speaker 2 (11:00):
There was no one of mine.
Speaker 4 (11:01):
No, I know that, but yeah, it's yeah, it's so
because I house sat when I finished my AGC. I
house sat with muscall but former promoter in Ellwood down
in Glen Huntley Road and one of the one of
(11:24):
the things that these people friends of his mum's, went
over to England.
Speaker 2 (11:29):
So we housed that for three weeks and the goldfish dive.
Speaker 1 (11:33):
How do you replace it?
Speaker 2 (11:34):
I'm not knowing that. Do you remember there used to
be that big.
Speaker 4 (11:38):
Pet place on the corner of el had the big
yellow Johnt. So I went in there and the day
before they were coming back, I said, I hope they're
not listening. I mean it's, you know, as statue of limitations,
it's forty years and they said. I said to the guy,
I need to get some replacement goldfish and he goes, sure,
(12:00):
do you want to have a look at them?
Speaker 1 (12:01):
And I said no, and I pulled him out and
he laughed and he said, you yeah, the dead ones.
Speaker 2 (12:07):
I brought the dead one and he said, no one
ever does that. It just makes sense to me.
Speaker 1 (12:12):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, as you the people knew or I
don't think so. We had to when we were younger,
me and Karen had one of our friends, Marta. She
lived in a block of flats in Hawthorne and she
had rats right right and one of the rats, one
of the rats got out. I couldn't find it. And
then the next week we came there was a notice
saying rat plague in the flats. That's a rat And
(12:37):
then the rat tuned through the electrical cord on the
fridge and turned it off.
Speaker 2 (12:41):
Yeah, naughty ratty. And how can we don't die when
they do that.
Speaker 1 (12:46):
Yeah, I know. Anyway, more rat stories as a rat
in the kitchen. There's a rat in the kitchen. What
am I going to do? I'm gonna eat that rat?
And you know when that song came out U forty,
it was seen as a political band for a while. Yeah,
everyone was saying, oh, that's about the guy who undermined
Margaret Thatcher. I think it was John Major, Yeah, who
(13:09):
was like stabbed her in the back and all that,
and the song and the guy go and then the
guy who wrote it goes Ali Or who said no,
there was actually a run in my kitchen.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
Yeah, in my kitchen.
Speaker 1 (13:20):
I want to do I'm going to eat that.
Speaker 2 (13:21):
Right, It's like.
Speaker 4 (13:22):
You'd be forty And people go, I wonder what the
UB says unemployment benefits.
Speaker 1 (13:27):
Yeah, yeah, well that's why there's two versions of You
Be forty. The two are now there's one with Ali
the ead singer, and there's one with all the other
original members and they had his brother singing for a while.
Speaker 2 (13:37):
I was wondered if that invalidated, but got UB.
Speaker 1 (13:41):
Forty because a you Be forty you can't trademark it.
Speaker 4 (13:43):
Apparently No, I meant because once they started getting paid,
I have to go, well, you know.
Speaker 2 (13:50):
Yeah, we're not working.
Speaker 1 (13:51):
Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, they got what's another form for working?
Speaker 2 (13:55):
See? This is what I struggle with. This is like
I'm not o CD.
Speaker 1 (13:58):
Called word cover.
Speaker 2 (14:01):
I don't ship.
Speaker 1 (14:03):
Yeah another stitch, you're not.
Speaker 2 (14:06):
You struggle with what I struggle with, just a little
like things of logic like that.
Speaker 1 (14:12):
Yeah, it makes sense.
Speaker 2 (14:14):
It's it's the it's the kind of world of crooked paintings.
Speaker 1 (14:17):
To me, it's like, well, you know, it makes sense
when they were ten or eight unemployed guys from Birmingham.
Speaker 4 (14:23):
Well you know what ATM machine? You know that's that's
automatic machine machine. You know that kind of thing.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
It's just oh yeah, it's funny.
Speaker 4 (14:33):
It's well, it's it's it's funny to some of it's
irritating to others.
Speaker 2 (14:37):
It is.
Speaker 1 (14:40):
Anyway, bands, what are we expecting? Brod's in a theater. Well,
I've done this theater before. I think it's quite big. Yeah,
going by a track record, we probably won't fill it.
Speaker 4 (14:51):
Well, that's I feel like we should put that poster's
come along stretch out.
Speaker 1 (14:56):
Yeah yeah, plenty of b O'Neil and oak show.
Speaker 2 (15:00):
Wow, I've got billing. You know that.
Speaker 4 (15:03):
That's what happened when I'm doing a show, doing a
show Wednesday, whatever the day is due, and I rang
the woman. I said, an Emeralds Emerald.
Speaker 2 (15:18):
At the Paradise Valley Hotel. Yeah, Clematus, you can do
my joke.
Speaker 1 (15:25):
What's the sober around it sounds like a disease? Is
a chlamydia? What's it calling in Martin?
Speaker 2 (15:30):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (15:30):
Or the joke I'm gonna do, which is, wow, I
couldn't I couldn't even find it, but I.
Speaker 1 (15:41):
Know there's a basin next to the toilet. I do
that one.
Speaker 2 (15:44):
She got me to.
Speaker 4 (15:45):
She got me to organize the gig and I just
messaged them and I just said, you're gonna put me
on the post because they put Richard Stubbs him and
it just said and another comedian. I thought, I'm just
Ice Lad. I'm just being disappeared in So yeah, that's
but yeah, So you're going why Yeah, And we've got
(16:10):
this big podcast that's just dropped episode one this week.
Speaker 1 (16:14):
And it's I'm going to Japan and you have to
do press about it. That's why I'm going. Yeah, there's
a big interest in Japan about mount.
Speaker 2 (16:25):
Isa, and I'm going back to mant Isa in July.
Speaker 1 (16:28):
To the hill cop of the Heat. That'll be funny.
Speaker 2 (16:30):
Yeah, and I'll just be like you know, Erica will
pick you.
Speaker 4 (16:33):
Up and just be shaking her head like fuck you guys,
or should pick everybody else up?
Speaker 1 (16:37):
And yeah, no, I'm picking that scumbag.
Speaker 2 (16:40):
Yeah that's what you are.
Speaker 1 (16:42):
Yeah, you ruined man, eyeser.
Speaker 2 (16:45):
We're gon We put them on the Putt town.
Speaker 1 (16:49):
So have a listen to slippery Slope. All right, Well,
who knows what we'll find in bands sales a Saturday night.
Speaker 2 (16:53):
That's good.
Speaker 1 (16:54):
So there was an article on the paper because David,
who runs a big Los lunchdown here, which I've done
in bands a few times, he took a photo and
sent it to me.
Speaker 4 (17:04):
So I love the way you can't say Bandsdale Vans.
What do I say Barnsdall? And you can't say Lasagna either?
How do you say that Lasagna?
Speaker 1 (17:15):
Lasagne? I can if I hear someone say it, but
I say Lasagne. I said it as a joke. Now
it's just become what I say. Yeah, Lasagna.
Speaker 2 (17:24):
Ironically moved yourself into.
Speaker 1 (17:26):
That everything and everything. Yeah, you hate that too, don't you?
I hate it all right, Well, all right, soon back
in and we'll see Brand's gottat his pie. I've got
to eat my TWISTI is now.
Speaker 2 (17:36):
So sh to do.
Speaker 1 (17:40):
I mean, we may find another local crime down here
that we can do our next slippery slope. That's we
drove past gun By a park. There's a big water
slide there. Maybe we should look into that.
Speaker 4 (17:49):
Well, we can be maybe looking at other crimes, Davey,
you know, like whatever happened to that that training from
Melbourne to the Melbourne Airport? Oh?
Speaker 1 (18:00):
Yes, did Brad and Dave doing a gig at the
vans Our hotel and the pizza fiasco causes to close down?
Pizza fiasco?
Speaker 2 (18:10):
Yeah, you can't say fiasco.
Speaker 1 (18:13):
I can't say a lot of words. I know, I've
got Okay, see what you think about this. I thought
about doing this as a routine because now when people
have issues, it seems to be on their CV and
the first thing they tell people, Like when I was
a kid, I went to a speech therapist, right because
I was a twin so we couldn't speak normally and so,
(18:36):
but you would not tell anyone that it was a secret.
You came from everyone to school until you saw another
kid in the waiting room and they just nodded at him.
And then at school when you saw him just give
me a bit of a nod. Was the playground was
full of other kids nodding at each other and winking,
and you know, with all these all these issues, you know,
well now these days, man, you know, people go, can
(18:58):
you introduce me and tell me it's how I've got ADHD.
I'm on the spectrum, you know, and I've got autism.
Oh cool, Well.
Speaker 4 (19:06):
Imagine if your problem was nodding and winking. Yes, you've
just been a school going how many people?
Speaker 1 (19:13):
Yeah, yeah, maybe that's the joke.
Speaker 2 (19:17):
Yeah, maybe that's it.
Speaker 4 (19:19):
Well, you know, every time I went to the chemist
to buy chuadrell, they gave me conducts.
Speaker 2 (19:24):
That's an old joke, not.
Speaker 1 (19:29):
But it does seem to be front and center now.
People put on their cvs like, you know, I've got
ADHD and everyone's got ADHD. Yeah everyone, Yeah, Yeah, I
get to meet someone that, but they're all self diagnosed.
Well except huge, He've got diagnosed over the phone, really telehealth, Yeah,
over the phone. Yeah. One of my kids tells me
(19:51):
he's got ADHD. Never been diagnosed but believes he's got it.
Speaker 2 (19:54):
Yeah, it's kind of like, uh, what what what's the what's.
Speaker 4 (20:01):
The comparison to when we were growing up. Well, it's
like I was just like I'm just lazy and rude. Yeah,
I know these people out there do have ADHD.
Speaker 1 (20:11):
Yeah, you know it's it's you know, it's full on
if you do have it.
Speaker 2 (20:15):
But it's I don't know, it's just I don't know.
Speaker 1 (20:18):
I think it's like when you're a kid and you
said you're an Abba fan and everyone just went, I'm
a member fan. And then when you went deep with them,
like I don't know any records or anything. Are you
not an Amber fan?
Speaker 2 (20:26):
Do you know what you said? You were that? See
that's where our works divert divert.
Speaker 1 (20:31):
You went an a fan?
Speaker 2 (20:32):
Well, I would not have it.
Speaker 4 (20:33):
I was.
Speaker 1 (20:34):
I would've just been nodding and winking.
Speaker 2 (20:39):
I was a David Bowie fan.
Speaker 1 (20:41):
That's cool.
Speaker 2 (20:42):
There's no crossover, I know that.
Speaker 1 (20:44):
But it was a way to meet girls. And again,
David had all the girls.
Speaker 4 (20:47):
You know. The other way to meet girls was actually
to meet girls. Yeah, to talk to him, just records.
Speaker 2 (20:56):
Sat and jumps dance.
Speaker 1 (21:00):
What a band? I'm going to the Abber show in London. Holograms.
You know, I can't I can't wait. Chose the dance
floor as opposed to the seats.
Speaker 2 (21:11):
Dares she go in there to see a hologram.
Speaker 1 (21:15):
Yeah, it's a live band. Okay, live band plus a
hologram the original four Man. You can't tell me that's
not gonna be awesome. In fact, I might do a
hologram tonight. In bands, I just sit backstage. Oh, we'll
do it. We'll do a low fi. I get a
cardboard cat.
Speaker 2 (21:29):
I just do my voice. I just want anybody out
there who's listening.
Speaker 4 (21:34):
Revering the same Bansteans Bensdale.
Speaker 1 (21:38):
All right, we'll be back.
Speaker 2 (21:39):
I got Do you work on a Snowy River bro Yes, Bensdale? Right.
Speaker 1 (21:46):
My neighbor did the Nazi He was I don't know
if he was a Nazi.
Speaker 2 (21:51):
He was worked as a Nazi.
Speaker 1 (21:53):
He was Polish and he was in camps and stuff
and he's dead now stand but he said he worked
on the Snowy River project. There were always fights because
people would recognize him and yeah, not good anyway.
Speaker 2 (22:05):
This guy's a bit of a warring what's he's all
over the road.
Speaker 1 (22:09):
Just keep away from him, all right, sing well're gonna
have band cell go band c bens.
Speaker 4 (22:16):
Rosale, Ben as in chub b a I r n
bens Dale Bandsdale, Ben's Ben Ben ban Dale.
Speaker 2 (22:25):
Okay whatever, okay, all right, we're.
Speaker 1 (22:40):
Back on the debrief. We done Bandsdale the Forge Theater.
How was it, Brad, Well, it was good.
Speaker 2 (22:46):
It was lovely. I found it a little tough.
Speaker 1 (22:49):
It was a big theater with a smaller crowd, it was.
But they were so they were good though by the time,
well you warn them up. By at the time I
came on, they were great.
Speaker 2 (22:56):
Do you know what it was like?
Speaker 4 (22:59):
You know, I mean you got a really kind of
nobby restaurant and you get a big plate with a
tiny meal.
Speaker 1 (23:04):
That's what it was like, the whole cuisine.
Speaker 2 (23:06):
Yes, but they did at least sit right in the middle.
Speaker 1 (23:10):
They were good.
Speaker 2 (23:10):
They you know, they they laughed a couple of times.
I thought, oh, yeah, here we go.
Speaker 4 (23:15):
But I think, you know, and I probably said this before,
I think that they like, maybe they wanted you. And
one of the happiest moments we had was when.
Speaker 1 (23:26):
I went here, he is, ah, don't talk yourself down.
You've got a big round of pause, and I said
your name. Yeah, but no, they were good fun.
Speaker 2 (23:36):
I did do some districts. Yes, it's interesting.
Speaker 1 (23:40):
They didn't really like dirty stuff. Well they give that
a bit of a oh that kind of thing when
I did anything a bit risque, that's for sure.
Speaker 4 (23:47):
Yeah, well I didn't really notice that. I suppose now
you say that I probably should have worn pants.
Speaker 1 (23:54):
Yes, no, it was.
Speaker 4 (23:57):
It was funny and like I should have made this
clear to people are listening. It was job done and
everything like that. It's just that I think we've mentioned
this before. Sometimes you just to expect the laughs just
to keep coming a roll and just I just didn't
get a roll on. I just I worked for every
single laugh of d and I'm a lazy man. Yeah,
(24:20):
I'm not expecting that.
Speaker 1 (24:22):
Tell you what though? The spread in the green room,
well man. I sent a photo to Kitty Flight again
and she said, yeah, that's impressive.
Speaker 2 (24:31):
That's yeah.
Speaker 4 (24:33):
When you said I'm going to send a photo to Giddy,
I assumed you met your daughter and I thought, really, Dave,
just let her live alife.
Speaker 1 (24:41):
Kidd is always interested in what is backstage, because sometimes
we've been to venues.
Speaker 2 (24:45):
It hasn't even been a water exactly.
Speaker 1 (24:47):
They had to get water out of the tap, which
is fair enough in their local councils. But this one
had three types of chips, two types of M and ms,
bags of lollies, Fredo frogs, chocolate rolls, oh Man drinks,
the fridge. I got to rise his lemonade for the
right home.
Speaker 2 (25:02):
And they should have maybe had just like a big
jar of insulin.
Speaker 1 (25:06):
And yeah, and.
Speaker 2 (25:08):
There as well oh Man.
Speaker 1 (25:09):
And then and then I tea. So I was starving,
and I said to the guy, where can I get
something quickly around here? He goes, go up the avco
the ampole and they'll cook whatever you want. And so
I go there and there's a Chinese guy who I
started talking to.
Speaker 2 (25:23):
He was really interesting.
Speaker 1 (25:24):
He said he was a Chinese backpacker, and because he
cooked the dim Simson fish in front of me and
we got the big South Melbourne ones and you'd a
bit of fish, and he kept sticking the thermometer in it.
And I said to him, mate, I got plenty of time.
You don't have to. I'm one in a rash because
I'd rather be well cooked, you know. Anyway, And he said, look,
why you want to have this? This chicken for free.
He gave you some chicken tenders and I'm eating that
(25:45):
and he goes, yeah, you can have that. That's been
here all day. And he said all day like this
and that's been there all day. I'm like, whoa, he's
still nicer.
Speaker 2 (25:57):
You know.
Speaker 4 (25:58):
You know when you said he hips in a thermometery,
and I would have I wouldn't have been able to
help myself.
Speaker 2 (26:03):
I would have said, is it is it not? Well?
Speaker 1 (26:06):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (26:08):
Is it really poorly?
Speaker 1 (26:09):
Those dim seems bad? The world was wrong anyway.
Speaker 2 (26:13):
He was telling me. I said, what are you doing?
In bean style?
Speaker 1 (26:16):
He said he worked on a farm for a year.
He said that you know where the backpackers get a
two year, two year visa if they worked for a
year on a farm.
Speaker 2 (26:23):
And I go, what was that like?
Speaker 1 (26:25):
It was a ship job. He said, it was really hard.
He said, this is much better in the servo.
Speaker 2 (26:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (26:32):
You don't see a lot of people saying it's not
a ship job, but it's it's that's a very kip
same thing I think people get. People do get kind
of trapped almost here, like when they just go so
why didn't you leave?
Speaker 1 (26:46):
And I just ran out of enage yeah, yeah, it
was interesting.
Speaker 2 (26:50):
The last time we were in advanced it's interesting.
Speaker 1 (26:52):
But anyway, the spread was great, and so we we
finished the gig. I've got like two bags of M
and m's, a drink and some lalla and I walk
out the back door and there's a few punters standing
around and this girl woman Coast, Are you clearing out
the green room?
Speaker 4 (27:07):
Are you?
Speaker 1 (27:08):
And I'm like, oh, yeah, well, she goes, I put
them there, and it was Rachel, who manages the place. Yes, oh, anyway,
signed a poster for a young man who loved comedy.
Speaker 4 (27:20):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (27:20):
Great.
Speaker 2 (27:21):
When put everything back, No, we didn't.
Speaker 1 (27:23):
But the young man said, I loved that joke about
your penis three degrees something.
Speaker 2 (27:30):
Did you do a joke about that about what? When
I said, I fell down the cliff? Oh, they he
was talking about your joke.
Speaker 1 (27:38):
Yes, I don't know what he was talking about.
Speaker 2 (27:40):
I said, I fell down the cliff.
Speaker 4 (27:42):
I lost all my fingernails, I lost skin off my face,
and I lost eight inches off my penis. And then
I say to the audience, well, look I can't claim
that because that would give me negative three inches.
Speaker 1 (27:55):
Ah that's what he said. He goes. My favorite joke
was negative three inches. I'm like, oh, good one he's talking.
Speaker 2 (28:01):
About I've done that joke for years.
Speaker 1 (28:04):
Oh well, well, Jake, well I just lost it after that.
Speaker 4 (28:10):
Well do you know what was great was I did
the joke about the secret. You know, I talk about
the philosophy.
Speaker 1 (28:16):
And visualizing, and this woman was out, I know, and
I went and.
Speaker 4 (28:20):
She had lent and I said, because she interrupted me twice, yeah,
And I said I see you know, do you?
Speaker 2 (28:26):
And she goes, yeah. I said what that? She goes,
it's the secret, And I said yeah, but why how
do you know? She said I have the book?
Speaker 1 (28:36):
Yeah, the book.
Speaker 2 (28:37):
And I said I really, so can you tell us
about it? She goes, I haven't. I can't. And I said,
what is that? She said, I've never opened the book.
Speaker 1 (28:45):
She should have said it's a secret.
Speaker 4 (28:47):
Well she'd already tried that one, and I wasn't having
it right, But I just said to her, well, it
should have on. That's probably the first thing that she
should have on the book is you must open this book,
because it's absolutely.
Speaker 1 (29:01):
Isn't it Just like, yeah, you visualize your yeah, you manifest,
manifest whatever you want to ask for universe.
Speaker 2 (29:08):
You say hey, universe, can I have that eight inches
back on my dish?
Speaker 1 (29:12):
But also you make a board too with pictures of
a Mercedes or if you want done. Yeah, yeah, a
visualization board, isn't it?
Speaker 2 (29:19):
Well? I don't know. I mean, like a lot of things,
I know a little bit about it, but I certainly
I mean.
Speaker 1 (29:25):
By a Melbourne woman who worked at Channel nine.
Speaker 2 (29:27):
I know. And yeah, and it got promulgated by Oprah
Winfrey and that's why I took off. But to be honest,
Dave you you've seen my life. What if I manifested?
Speaker 1 (29:40):
Are you still doing comedy? You manifested that kick tonight?
Speaker 2 (29:43):
I manifested those lollies in thee.
Speaker 1 (29:46):
That that bit of fish with the thermometer in it,
ept saying him, I've got plenty of time. You don't
have to.
Speaker 2 (29:53):
There's no rush here. Is it poorly?
Speaker 1 (29:57):
Is it poorly?
Speaker 2 (29:58):
But no, I didn't look it was good. It's this
is one of the longer.
Speaker 1 (30:02):
You should do that and stand up about the hormometer
because my son bangs on about that all the time.
It's a master chef thing. Yeah, there always had his
thermo because we should get a phomometer dad for cooking roast,
and then I'm like, I don't need a thermometer.
Speaker 2 (30:16):
Yeah, we've got you. Yeah, just make him eat the
first bit.
Speaker 4 (30:21):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (30:22):
If he kills over, whack it back in the oven
for ten minutes.
Speaker 1 (30:25):
I have that chicken that was there all day doesn't
come back.
Speaker 2 (30:28):
And that's why when you said do you want it?
Speaker 4 (30:30):
Because the worst ever food poisoning I have was some
chicken and sat in a bamery. No. No, And that's
why I threw up so badly. I got two black eyes. Oh,
I've never thrown up that violently in my life. In fact,
it wasn't two black eyes. I ended up with a
little like a little mask like I was a raccoon. Oh,
(30:54):
but it was red because I burst all the blood
vessels in it. That's one violence that's bad. Anyway, we're
on the ship at both.
Speaker 1 (31:05):
Ends day Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you're a gastro at
both ends. That's a Tom Seager joke for you. I
used to call him gastro on the foot field because
you were at both ends. Yeah, that's funny. Anyway, we
did it, and driving down here, some guy never seen
this before. There was a guy in a ute towel
(31:26):
gaining us right on a single lane highway like and like,
you know, being quite aggressive, so over and high beam
and stuff, and he overtook us. So then I put
the high beam on him, and he did this. He's
got a light on the back of his card that
flashed in her.
Speaker 4 (31:41):
Face reverse high beam and I reckon it was probably
off an aircraft.
Speaker 1 (31:49):
It was very bright.
Speaker 2 (31:50):
Yeah, we know the headlights that those planes.
Speaker 1 (31:52):
I've never seen that.
Speaker 2 (31:54):
It's the brightest light I've ever seen on the road.
Speaker 1 (31:56):
But that says to me he has a lot of
road rage incidents. And he's put the line into caunteract them.
Speaker 4 (32:02):
Yeah, oh yeah, he's yeah, because I was I was
looking at my phone at the time or something like that,
and all of us something I can see through my hand.
Speaker 1 (32:12):
You thought we were getting kidnaped by aliens.
Speaker 4 (32:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (32:15):
The finally they've come to promise, finally some action.
Speaker 2 (32:20):
I've got my good underwear on.
Speaker 1 (32:21):
It's all, who are they going to probe first?
Speaker 4 (32:24):
I know.
Speaker 1 (32:26):
Who wants at the least, who does a joke?
Speaker 4 (32:28):
Now?
Speaker 1 (32:28):
When the when the aliens land America, they go take
us to your leader and and the guy's like, oh man,
you don't want to nah, you know when I meet
him is a joke about that.
Speaker 4 (32:38):
I don't know, but I saw somebody do a bit
about how they don't they don't know, we don't probe anymore.
Speaker 2 (32:43):
We've got better technology.
Speaker 4 (32:45):
Because it always was that what I wasn't been askings
all the time about that, like yeah, why they putting
things of your bom you know, really you've got the
technology to fly here thousands and thousands of light years
and then they're going to you know, somebody's going.
Speaker 1 (32:59):
To be yeah, that's weird. You should ask the questions.
And we're going to get to eating out lollies.
Speaker 2 (33:06):
Well, we're going to stop off and do a little
aad Sale.
Speaker 1 (33:09):
We're coming to Sale. Everyone. You're in your pooon, you're
in man Isaer with Billy and Sonya and.
Speaker 4 (33:18):
And and.
Speaker 1 (33:22):
So if you're in Queensland, go along. And then me
and you were doing and with with the Gang, we're
doing Sale and we're doing Allbrey yeah first of the
gang and yeah, then you and I doing Perth. Yeah
in Perth, we're coming to mandra Guys Nils and I'm
(33:46):
doing Broom and cool.
Speaker 4 (33:48):
As well, and yeah Davidson takes some fighters and room
for me yeah, yeah, so yeah, we'd be going on.
Speaker 1 (33:55):
But yeah, so the key Okay, well well Brad, look.
Speaker 4 (34:00):
First of all, I want to shout out to the
texts to Joe and Patch just so so no stress whatsoever.
Nothing was a problem. Everything was cool, they know, everything
unobtrusive and just yeah, just a beautiful little theater.
Speaker 2 (34:20):
So it went well.
Speaker 1 (34:22):
It was we're going to return when we were really
famous and sell it out. It's seven living on the
way home.
Speaker 4 (34:31):
What didn't go well, sorry, I'll just take one other
things that work well for me was it wasn't freezing
cold on that stage.
Speaker 2 (34:39):
No, it was warm because of cold backstage.
Speaker 4 (34:42):
Yeah, but it wasn't you know, quite often of those
theaters because you know, that stage was a third of
the room, massive.
Speaker 2 (34:50):
Wasn't it.
Speaker 1 (34:51):
We could have done Oklahoma on it.
Speaker 2 (34:53):
Well, we're could have had a jet Star terminal there.
So that very well.
Speaker 4 (35:00):
And yeah, the audience was quite nice. That's so that's
what worked. Yes, what didn't go well then, I don't know.
I just I feel like all that heat was on
the stage rather than directed at me. Yeah, and it's
so you look all I'm all I'm bitching about, folks,
(35:20):
is wasn't a bad gig. It was just wasn't it
wasn't super easy, and well else didn't go well.
Speaker 1 (35:31):
I don't know all the organizational hazards get in the way.
Speaker 2 (35:33):
No one just said, what might not going to go well?
Is the amount of lollies we've eaten?
Speaker 1 (35:39):
Yes, organizational hazards pretty good? One pretty well?
Speaker 2 (35:43):
Yeah? Yeah, I think that somebody should invent some other
form of travel.
Speaker 1 (35:51):
To get back from bandstyle. How can we do better
next time?
Speaker 2 (35:55):
Look, I felt like we didn't need to do any better.
Speaker 1 (36:00):
Get a helicopter, Yeah, get a HOLLI should be like
trumpet player James. He's got his pilot license and flies people,
flies to his gigs. All right, So here, Tommy little
he's got his pilots. Give us a left, Tommy. We'll
even let him do five.
Speaker 2 (36:20):
Yeah and great, g where's the gig.
Speaker 1 (36:25):
Fly back? I don't think his helicopter license soon.
Speaker 2 (36:28):
I think he's working on Jesus she was. I haven't
even got you know, I can't give it a car
license and I can't reverse the trailer. Really lost my license.
Speaker 1 (36:42):
Points.
Speaker 4 (36:43):
No, a little sneaky little trick which was in Victoria.
I don't know if this happens elsewhere.
Speaker 2 (36:52):
I didn't know this.
Speaker 4 (36:55):
Because I had a few parking fines because just so
you know, I'm not I'm not the wild alone your boy.
I just find parking fines a bit rich because I
think if you don't provide enough parking, then of course
people looking down at default. But anyway, I said to myself, Okay,
I've paid enough parking fines.
Speaker 2 (37:14):
I've had two hart attacks. I'm not going to pay
any more parking pines.
Speaker 1 (37:18):
And no, because you just die with that debck.
Speaker 2 (37:21):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (37:21):
And and I had some uh I read light fine,
and I had a speeding fine, and I said, well
I'll pay.
Speaker 1 (37:29):
Those, you know, yeah, because they have.
Speaker 4 (37:32):
So anyway, I get a letter saying that if I
don't pay all of it, my license will just get suspended.
Speaker 2 (37:40):
And my red shoe.
Speaker 4 (37:44):
You can't even sell your car, you read Joe's it's
not the car, you're redho suspended.
Speaker 2 (37:49):
And I went, oh, you're dirty buggers. So I have
to play it. So yeah, I'm paying them off.
Speaker 1 (37:54):
Show you a payment plan or payment plan.
Speaker 2 (37:57):
And apparently I did what everyone else does is I
got a payment plan. And then a few weeks later
I rang up and said Can I change my payment plan?
Speaker 1 (38:08):
Can I get a payment plan for the payment plan?
Speaker 2 (38:10):
Exactly?
Speaker 4 (38:11):
Yeah? Yeah, anyway, just say, people, don't you know I'm
not a I don't think I'm a socially irresponsible person,
but I am.
Speaker 1 (38:20):
I am a reckless driver. I tell my kids I'm
a defensive driver. But you say, I drive like a cop.
Like a cop.
Speaker 2 (38:26):
Right, So I see Senior's Sergeant Dave O'Neill.
Speaker 1 (38:31):
The other day. Okay, I was dropping hearing off into
the city.
Speaker 2 (38:34):
Right.
Speaker 1 (38:35):
I drive down, wrapped down the street forty kilometers right,
it's changed in the last couple of years from fifty
to forty, which is really slow if you're driving anyway.
Speaker 2 (38:43):
Whatever.
Speaker 1 (38:44):
There's cops, traffic highway patrol with the gun. I go,
look at that, Look at these idiots. Look at these idiots.
Are those poor fuckers? Okay, I drop her off. I
drive back past them again, have a glance. People pulled
out a look those fucking idiots. Anyway, About two hours later, Karen,
can you come pick me up? I'm like, oh, I go,
all right, So I go, I pick her up. I
(39:04):
drive down Rapton Street. All of a sudden, whoo, I'm
like I got pulled out by the same cops that
I've been making fun of. Yeah, and he goes, all right,
you were doing fifty one and or forty zone. I'm
just gonna go check your driving record. And he comes back.
He goes, well, mister O'Neil, you've had a bit of
a sketchy past, haven't you.
Speaker 2 (39:24):
Yeah, yeah you are, Jason statement.
Speaker 1 (39:29):
I said, yeah, I nearly lost my license. Yeah. He goes, yeah, yeah, yeah,
well this is only one point. I'm like, oh, thank fuck.
You know what dollars And he said he was going
to text the fine, but I never got the text.
Speaker 2 (39:41):
I have let me off. No.
Speaker 4 (39:44):
That what happens is once you think you've got off,
the moment you know, I reckon, I've got off, it
just turns up.
Speaker 2 (39:51):
Yeah, it's some deal of the universe.
Speaker 1 (39:54):
But you know why I patroller. They won't let you
off normally.
Speaker 4 (39:57):
I am so I wrote that joke about patrol was
I'm not booked on the way to Aubrey And the
couple was really nice.
Speaker 2 (40:06):
Yeah where his name was so times well something.
Speaker 4 (40:10):
Sauners from the hang around a highway patrol piwaver patrol
and he was eating the pipe and he said and
so he did that, and he gave me a split,
you know, mark me down and everything like that. He
was very friendly, but he did that thing I hate
right at the end where he goes, anyway, Bredford, I
(40:31):
have to ask you, did you have any reason for
for speeding?
Speaker 2 (40:36):
And it just shits me right, you know, just we've done.
What can you say to that?
Speaker 4 (40:42):
And I looked him straight in the eye, straight up
in the eye, and I said to him, just over confident, mate,
and he just went He looked at me and he
went what anyway.
Speaker 2 (40:51):
The joke I wrote out of that was he goes,
what do you mean over confident? What does that mean?
Speaker 4 (40:56):
I said, well, you know, you just gave me a
fine two hundred and ninety dollars and he goes yeah,
And I said, you reckon, I'm going to pay that.
That's overconfident, dish. But it's just it's the same when
they make a joke, right, you know, just come on.
I was like one of those dudes at the airport
said to me, because I made a joke about.
Speaker 1 (41:17):
Not a bomber, yeah, I did.
Speaker 4 (41:19):
I made a joke about a bomb because what now
what happened was I flew back from Wagger. I did
a gig and Wogger and I flew back from Wager
and we just got strained on the plane and then.
Speaker 1 (41:29):
We flew in the yeah, and then they do the
search afterward, and.
Speaker 4 (41:32):
They do the search afterwards before we go on to
the terminal, and there was one umbrella and it was
raining and.
Speaker 2 (41:39):
We had to queue up to get inside to get searched.
Speaker 4 (41:42):
And so I started going mah manhat like that, you know,
because I was annoyed. And then when we got there
to the thing, I said, well, I would have blind
the plane up already.
Speaker 2 (41:56):
So anyway, the guys come out, well three guys grabbed
me and they dave.
Speaker 4 (42:03):
They did that thing where where I want a travelator
right at the effort, and so they have to walk
next to the travelator.
Speaker 2 (42:12):
So I'm standing there like, you know, I'm out of
Star Wars or something.
Speaker 1 (42:16):
Just go along.
Speaker 4 (42:18):
And this guy goes and you can tell them security
because they would try not to look like security. And
one of them says to me, he goes, uh, what
makes you think you're qualified to make it? He asked me,
did you make a joke about a bomb? And I said, well,
I didn't say a bomb. I just said I would
(42:40):
have blow it up because it seemed I said, it
seemed asinine to me to search us after we've left
the plane, right, And he knows, well, what makes you
think you're qualified to make a joke in an airport?
And I just said to him, well, as a matter
of fact, mate, I'm probably at this moment, Demo is quite.
Speaker 2 (43:00):
The person in the airport to do that. And he was,
what you meant? You know what?
Speaker 4 (43:04):
I said, I'm a stand up comedian, I'm allowed to
meet jokes. And he goes, what And I pulled out
one of my DVDs to them and just and then
got off the traveling and just walked off off. I'm
probably I'm probably making people angry out there, and just
go he's he's a band and he's a roade, but.
Speaker 2 (43:24):
Come on, just pulls him. Why would just why would
you search people? Laughter? They've got I know they've done
that to me too. Yeah, it doesn't make it odd?
Speaker 1 (43:34):
All right? Well, and have a listen to Slippery Slope,
our new podcast. It's like a proper podcast with you.
It's not just two guys.
Speaker 4 (43:41):
Rambling on, No, it's it's true crime. Thanks again, Brad,
thanks made bad.
Speaker 2 (43:56):
Going for a.
Speaker 3 (43:57):
Drive to a little gain and drive back back with
the chat. It is called the deep breath. It's called
the de breath. It's called the D three. It's caltond three,
(44:19):
it's caltend breath.
All right, welcome to the debrief. It's Stay O'Neill here
with my sergeant in arms Brah.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
It looks hello reporting.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
Going for a drive to a little game.
Speaker 3 (00:17):
They drive back with Caledon de Breed. It's Caldon d Breath.
It's Calton D Tree. It's Calton D Tree. It's Calton Breath.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
We're here just to me and you know Henry, No,
Peter Oson, No, sna Sonya, no one. And where we going, Brad?
Speaker 4 (00:51):
We're going to Brandsdown, Bainsdale, the Forge Theater, Man.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
Victoria, three and a half hours east.
Speaker 1 (01:04):
It's a long way.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
It is a long way, isn't it.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
Just stop to the servoy then? And I don't know
you want to pie? So I don't know where I'm
going to get dinner.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
I just don't know. Yeah, well the Bends is pretty
big town.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
There's a big town. But there's a kind of a
timing issue, isn't there. Yeah, well it's getting there and
doing a sound check and all that.
Speaker 2 (01:27):
But we aren't in the davemobile.
Speaker 4 (01:29):
So there's probably like a lot of bountiful food secreted
around in here.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
Yeah's AIChE somewhere.
Speaker 4 (01:37):
Like if we have a crashy airbag pops out, I
get hit by fifteen wagon wheels.
Speaker 1 (01:44):
Which aren't they good anymore?
Speaker 2 (01:46):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (01:47):
Still not podcast? Yeah wrong podcast? And also you know
you get one from a cake shop, they're really good
now yeah, it's all Queensland thing to make wagonund have.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
You ever eaten vanilla ice cream using a wagon? Will know?
It's very nice, very nice, very good.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
Tip. I don't have sweet No, you don't have a
sweet tooth.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
No, this is all savory well savory. Wow.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
So you don't ever buy like a chocolate.
Speaker 4 (02:16):
Bar, I will ever know? And then I haven't been
in chocolate. But it's kind of like, you know, it's
it's I failed to see why people get so excited
about it. Okay, right, give me a pizza and I
will do anything.
Speaker 2 (02:34):
May as well.
Speaker 1 (02:34):
We'll get tonight nor we normally like when we went
to Chep we went to Moduro. We got those old
school pizzas. They are the best, you.
Speaker 2 (02:42):
Know we had. I think we had a good pizza
last year and you somewhere too.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
Remember the last time I went to Bansty there was
a pizza disaster at that pub.
Speaker 2 (02:52):
That's what I was.
Speaker 4 (02:56):
That.
Speaker 1 (02:57):
I don't know if I knew people have taken it over,
but well, you.
Speaker 4 (03:00):
Know, look, I think I was spoken about their pigeon
disaster before, you know, about when they crowned the scene
on officially opened Melbourne blew the pigeons. There were two
two outdoor pit bosses or whatever, and one of them
said release the doves and the other one said turn
on the final sculptures.
Speaker 2 (03:20):
Massacred them and they got fined a lot of money
and it was very tragic and so on. So I
feel like this was almost of that scale that they've
just gone.
Speaker 4 (03:30):
We'll get Dave O'Neill down here in Bensdale and everybody
who buys a ticket gets a free pizza or get
some pizza with it. Well, let's why don't we get
eat machine that makes two pizzas at once and see
how long it takes us.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
Yeah, it didn't work anyway, They needed Jesus, they needed something.
We of course have to mention on new podcast Slippery Slope,
which which happened because of this touring, that silly of
Wordsworth production has been organized in these regional tours for us,
and we went to Mount Isa and what happened?
Speaker 4 (04:06):
What happened brat what we found in Mount Isa was
We got there very early, couldn't check in our hotel.
A woman from the municipal council who was kindly driving
us around, told us a wonderful tale about the water
slide that was late.
Speaker 1 (04:24):
Yeah, so they wanted a water slide. That's a whole
saga in itself, and then because there was opposition on
the council and then well they ordered it from Turkey,
where water slides now get made. We learned, you learned
so many things from this and basically there was an
incident in the Sewers Canal and pirates were involved.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
And so we've done a true crime.
Speaker 1 (04:44):
Yeah, it's true crime. We're not the next Cereal.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
Or I mean, we're not women, but we will. We
aren't rattling this crime.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
We both listened to that Hamish podcast, Who the Hell Hamish?
Speaker 2 (04:55):
Who the Hell?
Speaker 1 (04:56):
This is a great podcast by the guy from the Australian.
We're like, we're pretty much going for his job. Yeah,
well that's I'm surprised. We're not going to do a
Q And at the end of this on the slippery slope,
where which are the thousands of people turning up going?
We don't care about your stand up, tell us more
about the water slide of Mount Eier.
Speaker 4 (05:13):
You've been waiting by the final week for six minutes, George, Next, George, Dave,
Dave O'Niel.
Speaker 1 (05:20):
You can be Ian Leslie and I'll be out of it,
out of it.
Speaker 2 (05:25):
Yeah, I'm I'm Dave O'Neill, I'm Brad Oaks. This is
six minutes. Well it's not forty two minutes. But anyway, Look, the.
Speaker 1 (05:34):
Good thing about that podcast is a short one only,
it's only a four parter. But have a listen. Let's
you'll hear me and Brad.
Speaker 2 (05:41):
There may be a bonus. You never know, there may
be a bonus, you know, because worldwide conspiracy and.
Speaker 1 (05:49):
I could uncover other things, exactly different things.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
Maybe maybe water slides are going missing all over the Giant.
Speaker 1 (05:58):
We're into argon, Brad.
Speaker 4 (05:59):
And so when we're talking about the water slide here people,
we're talking about a massive, a big one.
Speaker 1 (06:05):
Hey, let's just reminisce about doing gigs of that pub
with the late Dave Grant. Was it that pub? Yeah,
wasn't that room there?
Speaker 2 (06:09):
Royal?
Speaker 1 (06:11):
This one there. I've got gigs in that room right there.
Speaker 4 (06:12):
I did one in there once with a whole lot
of that's you did well, I did well, and they
didn't do well, and they couldn't say anything. All the
way back to Melbourne.
Speaker 1 (06:23):
There was this one too.
Speaker 2 (06:25):
How was that one? There was a saloon bar around
the corner. Yes, we did comedy.
Speaker 1 (06:30):
There, and also that nightclub. It's called I should remember.
I make jokes about it. It's got a sunken dance floor.
It's now a functions center. Brad.
Speaker 2 (06:41):
Oh, yes, it's called the.
Speaker 1 (06:44):
The hang On. I can't remember what's called.
Speaker 2 (06:48):
I remember it was that part of your Manhattan. I
tell room.
Speaker 1 (06:53):
If I'm around here, I would do it.
Speaker 2 (06:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (06:55):
This is a McDonald's where they often have a bouncer
and a.
Speaker 4 (06:57):
Velvet bounces two bounces and two bounces and the velvet
and if you really want upset on me mate, I
just want to warp.
Speaker 1 (07:12):
The Tarragon one. It's called the Another Paradise. The so
many times I remember it. By the end of it,
I'm having a noble moment. We call this weather podcast.
There's another podcast that's all you do so.
Speaker 2 (07:30):
Well.
Speaker 1 (07:30):
You know, Glenn Robbins will be listening to the Slippery
Slope podcast and be correcting you at nauseum. Oh no,
he was lying there like that's wrong. That's wrong, because
you often correct Glenn, so I've corrected him, yeah, twice.
Speaker 2 (07:45):
It does. It's it's something that I've desisted from. I
no longer do it.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
Because he's one of the kings of comedy.
Speaker 2 (07:55):
Well, he's a nice man, Glenn.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
Of course, we're the nice guys are comedy.
Speaker 2 (08:00):
I will continue to correct dickheads.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
Yeah, it's good.
Speaker 4 (08:06):
As I us. I mean, I'm bitten by the dog
the other day and outside this cafe, and I was.
I messaged somebody on Facebook and I said, they said, here,
you're right, I said, yeah, but I felt really bad
for the woman who was pushing the baby in the
pram past me. When I told the dog what I
thought of, I called it a non human I mean
(08:30):
a human name.
Speaker 1 (08:33):
You gotta be careful with my sort of dog.
Speaker 4 (08:35):
Was It was an American pit ball. It seemed friendly,
and I I was, yeah, I was over confident. Was
I'm not blaming the dog, I'm not blaming the owner.
I made the mistake of thinking that I was a
dog whisperer, and I'm not. And so I'll just go
back to just complimenting dogs.
Speaker 1 (08:55):
Now, no idea.
Speaker 2 (08:58):
You're a fine looking fella. Don't get out of the car.
Speaker 1 (09:02):
I find any of those pitbull kind of types of dogs,
keep away from them. You know, I know people love them,
but I'm more.
Speaker 2 (09:08):
Likely to diet at the teeth of a chihuala pit
boards are You're.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
Going to die at the teeth of Mitzi rather than
Satan or Rocky exactly? Yeah, well, yeah, you know, one
of their dads at schools a vet and he said
different areas of Melbourney have different types of dogs. So
bay Side's got all the white fluffy ones, he said,
and out north and west it's all it's all Satan
rocky pit bulls.
Speaker 2 (09:33):
And yeah, yea.
Speaker 1 (09:36):
Alsatians Bayside where it's sort of where you live in
that which is the Posha kind of area. Yeah, they
are more white fluffies.
Speaker 4 (09:44):
There's a good chance, like if you want to, you know,
apply logic to it, there's a good chance that the
places where they have the Satans, they do have their
little white fluffy.
Speaker 2 (09:55):
Dogs, but only for a limited die. Yeah. Well you
know how people feed, like you know, there's mice.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:11):
In fact, you might in fact move to.
Speaker 4 (10:15):
A suburb that has the more miniature toy dog just
to feed your rum.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
Yes, great day, like I saw in the Pitchhop yesterday,
they have frozen rats and to feed your snakes or whatever.
Speaker 4 (10:29):
They Yeah, that's that's that great mice. That's that great joke.
But the kid who goes, excuse me, it goes, excuse me,
do you have a bunny rabbit? I want to get
a bunny rabbit, and then goes there going the picture
goes sure it would you like a nice fluffy white
one or a black rom and he goes, I don't
(10:51):
give I don't think my rattlesnake gives a fuck.
Speaker 1 (10:53):
What that's funny.
Speaker 2 (10:57):
I've heard that. I know there.
Speaker 1 (10:59):
You got a new joke.
Speaker 2 (11:00):
There was no one of mine.
Speaker 4 (11:01):
No, I know that, but yeah, it's yeah, it's so
because I house sat when I finished my AGC. I
house sat with muscall but former promoter in Ellwood down
in Glen Huntley Road and one of the one of
(11:24):
the things that these people friends of his mum's, went
over to England.
Speaker 2 (11:29):
So we housed that for three weeks and the goldfish dive.
Speaker 1 (11:33):
How do you replace it?
Speaker 2 (11:34):
I'm not knowing that. Do you remember there used to
be that big.
Speaker 4 (11:38):
Pet place on the corner of el had the big
yellow Johnt. So I went in there and the day
before they were coming back, I said, I hope they're
not listening. I mean it's, you know, as statue of limitations,
it's forty years and they said. I said to the guy,
I need to get some replacement goldfish and he goes, sure,
(12:00):
do you want to have a look at them?
Speaker 1 (12:01):
And I said no, and I pulled him out and
he laughed and he said, you yeah, the dead ones.
Speaker 2 (12:07):
I brought the dead one and he said, no one
ever does that. It just makes sense to me.
Speaker 1 (12:12):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, as you the people knew or I
don't think so. We had to when we were younger,
me and Karen had one of our friends, Marta. She
lived in a block of flats in Hawthorne and she
had rats right right and one of the rats, one
of the rats got out. I couldn't find it. And
then the next week we came there was a notice
saying rat plague in the flats. That's a rat And
(12:37):
then the rat tuned through the electrical cord on the
fridge and turned it off.
Speaker 2 (12:41):
Yeah, naughty ratty. And how can we don't die when
they do that.
Speaker 1 (12:46):
Yeah, I know. Anyway, more rat stories as a rat
in the kitchen. There's a rat in the kitchen. What
am I going to do? I'm gonna eat that rat?
And you know when that song came out U forty,
it was seen as a political band for a while. Yeah,
everyone was saying, oh, that's about the guy who undermined
Margaret Thatcher. I think it was John Major, Yeah, who
(13:09):
was like stabbed her in the back and all that,
and the song and the guy go and then the
guy who wrote it goes Ali Or who said no,
there was actually a run in my kitchen.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
Yeah, in my kitchen.
Speaker 1 (13:20):
I want to do I'm going to eat that.
Speaker 2 (13:21):
Right, It's like.
Speaker 4 (13:22):
You'd be forty And people go, I wonder what the
UB says unemployment benefits.
Speaker 1 (13:27):
Yeah, yeah, well that's why there's two versions of You
Be forty. The two are now there's one with Ali
the ead singer, and there's one with all the other
original members and they had his brother singing for a while.
Speaker 2 (13:37):
I was wondered if that invalidated, but got UB.
Speaker 1 (13:41):
Forty because a you Be forty you can't trademark it.
Speaker 4 (13:43):
Apparently No, I meant because once they started getting paid,
I have to go, well, you know.
Speaker 2 (13:50):
Yeah, we're not working.
Speaker 1 (13:51):
Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, they got what's another form for working?
Speaker 2 (13:55):
See? This is what I struggle with. This is like
I'm not o CD.
Speaker 1 (13:58):
Called word cover.
Speaker 2 (14:01):
I don't ship.
Speaker 1 (14:03):
Yeah another stitch, you're not.
Speaker 2 (14:06):
You struggle with what I struggle with, just a little
like things of logic like that.
Speaker 1 (14:12):
Yeah, it makes sense.
Speaker 2 (14:14):
It's it's the it's the kind of world of crooked paintings.
Speaker 1 (14:17):
To me, it's like, well, you know, it makes sense
when they were ten or eight unemployed guys from Birmingham.
Speaker 4 (14:23):
Well you know what ATM machine? You know that's that's
automatic machine machine. You know that kind of thing.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
It's just oh yeah, it's funny.
Speaker 4 (14:33):
It's well, it's it's it's funny to some of it's
irritating to others.
Speaker 2 (14:37):
It is.
Speaker 1 (14:40):
Anyway, bands, what are we expecting? Brod's in a theater. Well,
I've done this theater before. I think it's quite big. Yeah,
going by a track record, we probably won't fill it.
Speaker 4 (14:51):
Well, that's I feel like we should put that poster's
come along stretch out.
Speaker 1 (14:56):
Yeah yeah, plenty of b O'Neil and oak show.
Speaker 2 (15:00):
Wow, I've got billing. You know that.
Speaker 4 (15:03):
That's what happened when I'm doing a show, doing a
show Wednesday, whatever the day is due, and I rang
the woman. I said, an Emeralds Emerald.
Speaker 2 (15:18):
At the Paradise Valley Hotel. Yeah, Clematus, you can do
my joke.
Speaker 1 (15:25):
What's the sober around it sounds like a disease? Is
a chlamydia? What's it calling in Martin?
Speaker 2 (15:30):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (15:30):
Or the joke I'm gonna do, which is, wow, I
couldn't I couldn't even find it, but I.
Speaker 1 (15:41):
Know there's a basin next to the toilet. I do
that one.
Speaker 2 (15:44):
She got me to.
Speaker 4 (15:45):
She got me to organize the gig and I just
messaged them and I just said, you're gonna put me
on the post because they put Richard Stubbs him and
it just said and another comedian. I thought, I'm just
Ice Lad. I'm just being disappeared in So yeah, that's
but yeah, So you're going why Yeah, And we've got
(16:10):
this big podcast that's just dropped episode one this week.
Speaker 1 (16:14):
And it's I'm going to Japan and you have to
do press about it. That's why I'm going. Yeah, there's
a big interest in Japan about mount.
Speaker 2 (16:25):
Isa, and I'm going back to mant Isa in July.
Speaker 1 (16:28):
To the hill cop of the Heat. That'll be funny.
Speaker 2 (16:30):
Yeah, and I'll just be like you know, Erica will
pick you.
Speaker 4 (16:33):
Up and just be shaking her head like fuck you guys,
or should pick everybody else up?
Speaker 1 (16:37):
And yeah, no, I'm picking that scumbag.
Speaker 2 (16:40):
Yeah that's what you are.
Speaker 1 (16:42):
Yeah, you ruined man, eyeser.
Speaker 2 (16:45):
We're gon We put them on the Putt town.
Speaker 1 (16:49):
So have a listen to slippery Slope. All right, Well,
who knows what we'll find in bands sales a Saturday night.
Speaker 2 (16:53):
That's good.
Speaker 1 (16:54):
So there was an article on the paper because David,
who runs a big Los lunchdown here, which I've done
in bands a few times, he took a photo and
sent it to me.
Speaker 4 (17:04):
So I love the way you can't say Bandsdale Vans.
What do I say Barnsdall? And you can't say Lasagna either?
How do you say that Lasagna?
Speaker 1 (17:15):
Lasagne? I can if I hear someone say it, but
I say Lasagne. I said it as a joke. Now
it's just become what I say. Yeah, Lasagna.
Speaker 2 (17:24):
Ironically moved yourself into.
Speaker 1 (17:26):
That everything and everything. Yeah, you hate that too, don't you?
I hate it all right, Well, all right, soon back
in and we'll see Brand's gottat his pie. I've got
to eat my TWISTI is now.
Speaker 2 (17:36):
So sh to do.
Speaker 1 (17:40):
I mean, we may find another local crime down here
that we can do our next slippery slope. That's we
drove past gun By a park. There's a big water
slide there. Maybe we should look into that.
Speaker 4 (17:49):
Well, we can be maybe looking at other crimes, Davey,
you know, like whatever happened to that that training from
Melbourne to the Melbourne Airport? Oh?
Speaker 1 (18:00):
Yes, did Brad and Dave doing a gig at the
vans Our hotel and the pizza fiasco causes to close down?
Pizza fiasco?
Speaker 2 (18:10):
Yeah, you can't say fiasco.
Speaker 1 (18:13):
I can't say a lot of words. I know, I've
got Okay, see what you think about this. I thought
about doing this as a routine because now when people
have issues, it seems to be on their CV and
the first thing they tell people, Like when I was
a kid, I went to a speech therapist, right because
I was a twin so we couldn't speak normally and so,
(18:36):
but you would not tell anyone that it was a secret.
You came from everyone to school until you saw another
kid in the waiting room and they just nodded at him.
And then at school when you saw him just give
me a bit of a nod. Was the playground was
full of other kids nodding at each other and winking,
and you know, with all these all these issues, you know,
well now these days, man, you know, people go, can
(18:58):
you introduce me and tell me it's how I've got ADHD.
I'm on the spectrum, you know, and I've got autism.
Oh cool, Well.
Speaker 4 (19:06):
Imagine if your problem was nodding and winking. Yes, you've
just been a school going how many people?
Speaker 1 (19:13):
Yeah, yeah, maybe that's the joke.
Speaker 2 (19:17):
Yeah, maybe that's it.
Speaker 4 (19:19):
Well, you know, every time I went to the chemist
to buy chuadrell, they gave me conducts.
Speaker 2 (19:24):
That's an old joke, not.
Speaker 1 (19:29):
But it does seem to be front and center now.
People put on their cvs like, you know, I've got
ADHD and everyone's got ADHD. Yeah everyone, Yeah, Yeah, I
get to meet someone that, but they're all self diagnosed.
Well except huge, He've got diagnosed over the phone, really telehealth, Yeah,
over the phone. Yeah. One of my kids tells me
(19:51):
he's got ADHD. Never been diagnosed but believes he's got it.
Speaker 2 (19:54):
Yeah, it's kind of like, uh, what what what's the what's.
Speaker 4 (20:01):
The comparison to when we were growing up. Well, it's
like I was just like I'm just lazy and rude. Yeah,
I know these people out there do have ADHD.
Speaker 1 (20:11):
Yeah, you know it's it's you know, it's full on
if you do have it.
Speaker 2 (20:15):
But it's I don't know, it's just I don't know.
Speaker 1 (20:18):
I think it's like when you're a kid and you
said you're an Abba fan and everyone just went, I'm
a member fan. And then when you went deep with them,
like I don't know any records or anything. Are you
not an Amber fan?
Speaker 2 (20:26):
Do you know what you said? You were that? See
that's where our works divert divert.
Speaker 1 (20:31):
You went an a fan?
Speaker 2 (20:32):
Well, I would not have it.
Speaker 4 (20:33):
I was.
Speaker 1 (20:34):
I would've just been nodding and winking.
Speaker 2 (20:39):
I was a David Bowie fan.
Speaker 1 (20:41):
That's cool.
Speaker 2 (20:42):
There's no crossover, I know that.
Speaker 1 (20:44):
But it was a way to meet girls. And again,
David had all the girls.
Speaker 4 (20:47):
You know. The other way to meet girls was actually
to meet girls. Yeah, to talk to him, just records.
Speaker 2 (20:56):
Sat and jumps dance.
Speaker 1 (21:00):
What a band? I'm going to the Abber show in London. Holograms.
You know, I can't I can't wait. Chose the dance
floor as opposed to the seats.
Speaker 2 (21:11):
Dares she go in there to see a hologram.
Speaker 1 (21:15):
Yeah, it's a live band. Okay, live band plus a
hologram the original four Man. You can't tell me that's
not gonna be awesome. In fact, I might do a
hologram tonight. In bands, I just sit backstage. Oh, we'll
do it. We'll do a low fi. I get a
cardboard cat.
Speaker 2 (21:29):
I just do my voice. I just want anybody out
there who's listening.
Speaker 4 (21:34):
Revering the same Bansteans Bensdale.
Speaker 1 (21:38):
All right, we'll be back.
Speaker 2 (21:39):
I got Do you work on a Snowy River bro Yes, Bensdale? Right.
Speaker 1 (21:46):
My neighbor did the Nazi He was I don't know
if he was a Nazi.
Speaker 2 (21:51):
He was worked as a Nazi.
Speaker 1 (21:53):
He was Polish and he was in camps and stuff
and he's dead now stand but he said he worked
on the Snowy River project. There were always fights because
people would recognize him and yeah, not good anyway.
Speaker 2 (22:05):
This guy's a bit of a warring what's he's all
over the road.
Speaker 1 (22:09):
Just keep away from him, all right, sing well're gonna
have band cell go band c bens.
Speaker 4 (22:16):
Rosale, Ben as in chub b a I r n
bens Dale Bandsdale, Ben's Ben Ben ban Dale.
Speaker 2 (22:25):
Okay whatever, okay, all right, we're.
Speaker 1 (22:40):
Back on the debrief. We done Bandsdale the Forge Theater.
How was it, Brad, Well, it was good.
Speaker 2 (22:46):
It was lovely. I found it a little tough.
Speaker 1 (22:49):
It was a big theater with a smaller crowd, it was.
But they were so they were good though by the time,
well you warn them up. By at the time I
came on, they were great.
Speaker 2 (22:56):
Do you know what it was like?
Speaker 4 (22:59):
You know, I mean you got a really kind of
nobby restaurant and you get a big plate with a
tiny meal.
Speaker 1 (23:04):
That's what it was like, the whole cuisine.
Speaker 2 (23:06):
Yes, but they did at least sit right in the middle.
Speaker 1 (23:10):
They were good.
Speaker 2 (23:10):
They you know, they they laughed a couple of times.
I thought, oh, yeah, here we go.
Speaker 4 (23:15):
But I think, you know, and I probably said this before,
I think that they like, maybe they wanted you. And
one of the happiest moments we had was when.
Speaker 1 (23:26):
I went here, he is, ah, don't talk yourself down.
You've got a big round of pause, and I said
your name. Yeah, but no, they were good fun.
Speaker 2 (23:36):
I did do some districts. Yes, it's interesting.
Speaker 1 (23:40):
They didn't really like dirty stuff. Well they give that
a bit of a oh that kind of thing when
I did anything a bit risque, that's for sure.
Speaker 4 (23:47):
Yeah, well I didn't really notice that. I suppose now
you say that I probably should have worn pants.
Speaker 1 (23:54):
Yes, no, it was.
Speaker 4 (23:57):
It was funny and like I should have made this
clear to people are listening. It was job done and
everything like that. It's just that I think we've mentioned
this before. Sometimes you just to expect the laughs just
to keep coming a roll and just I just didn't
get a roll on. I just I worked for every
single laugh of d and I'm a lazy man. Yeah,
(24:20):
I'm not expecting that.
Speaker 1 (24:22):
Tell you what though? The spread in the green room,
well man. I sent a photo to Kitty Flight again
and she said, yeah, that's impressive.
Speaker 2 (24:31):
That's yeah.
Speaker 4 (24:33):
When you said I'm going to send a photo to Giddy,
I assumed you met your daughter and I thought, really, Dave,
just let her live alife.
Speaker 1 (24:41):
Kidd is always interested in what is backstage, because sometimes
we've been to venues.
Speaker 2 (24:45):
It hasn't even been a water exactly.
Speaker 1 (24:47):
They had to get water out of the tap, which
is fair enough in their local councils. But this one
had three types of chips, two types of M and ms,
bags of lollies, Fredo frogs, chocolate rolls, oh Man drinks,
the fridge. I got to rise his lemonade for the
right home.
Speaker 2 (25:02):
And they should have maybe had just like a big
jar of insulin.
Speaker 1 (25:06):
And yeah, and.
Speaker 2 (25:08):
There as well oh Man.
Speaker 1 (25:09):
And then and then I tea. So I was starving,
and I said to the guy, where can I get
something quickly around here? He goes, go up the avco
the ampole and they'll cook whatever you want. And so
I go there and there's a Chinese guy who I
started talking to.
Speaker 2 (25:23):
He was really interesting.
Speaker 1 (25:24):
He said he was a Chinese backpacker, and because he
cooked the dim Simson fish in front of me and
we got the big South Melbourne ones and you'd a
bit of fish, and he kept sticking the thermometer in it.
And I said to him, mate, I got plenty of time.
You don't have to. I'm one in a rash because
I'd rather be well cooked, you know. Anyway, And he said, look,
why you want to have this? This chicken for free.
He gave you some chicken tenders and I'm eating that
(25:45):
and he goes, yeah, you can have that. That's been
here all day. And he said all day like this
and that's been there all day. I'm like, whoa, he's
still nicer.
Speaker 2 (25:57):
You know.
Speaker 4 (25:58):
You know when you said he hips in a thermometery,
and I would have I wouldn't have been able to
help myself.
Speaker 2 (26:03):
I would have said, is it is it not? Well?
Speaker 1 (26:06):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (26:08):
Is it really poorly?
Speaker 1 (26:09):
Those dim seems bad? The world was wrong anyway.
Speaker 2 (26:13):
He was telling me. I said, what are you doing?
In bean style?
Speaker 1 (26:16):
He said he worked on a farm for a year.
He said that you know where the backpackers get a
two year, two year visa if they worked for a
year on a farm.
Speaker 2 (26:23):
And I go, what was that like?
Speaker 1 (26:25):
It was a ship job. He said, it was really hard.
He said, this is much better in the servo.
Speaker 2 (26:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (26:32):
You don't see a lot of people saying it's not
a ship job, but it's it's that's a very kip
same thing I think people get. People do get kind
of trapped almost here, like when they just go so
why didn't you leave?
Speaker 1 (26:46):
And I just ran out of enage yeah, yeah, it
was interesting.
Speaker 2 (26:50):
The last time we were in advanced it's interesting.
Speaker 1 (26:52):
But anyway, the spread was great, and so we we
finished the gig. I've got like two bags of M
and m's, a drink and some lalla and I walk
out the back door and there's a few punters standing
around and this girl woman Coast, Are you clearing out
the green room?
Speaker 4 (27:07):
Are you?
Speaker 1 (27:08):
And I'm like, oh, yeah, well, she goes, I put
them there, and it was Rachel, who manages the place. Yes, oh, anyway,
signed a poster for a young man who loved comedy.
Speaker 4 (27:20):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (27:20):
Great.
Speaker 2 (27:21):
When put everything back, No, we didn't.
Speaker 1 (27:23):
But the young man said, I loved that joke about
your penis three degrees something.
Speaker 2 (27:30):
Did you do a joke about that about what? When
I said, I fell down the cliff? Oh, they he
was talking about your joke.
Speaker 1 (27:38):
Yes, I don't know what he was talking about.
Speaker 2 (27:40):
I said, I fell down the cliff.
Speaker 4 (27:42):
I lost all my fingernails, I lost skin off my face,
and I lost eight inches off my penis. And then
I say to the audience, well, look I can't claim
that because that would give me negative three inches.
Speaker 1 (27:55):
Ah that's what he said. He goes. My favorite joke
was negative three inches. I'm like, oh, good one he's talking.
Speaker 2 (28:01):
About I've done that joke for years.
Speaker 1 (28:04):
Oh well, well, Jake, well I just lost it after that.
Speaker 4 (28:10):
Well do you know what was great was I did
the joke about the secret. You know, I talk about
the philosophy.
Speaker 1 (28:16):
And visualizing, and this woman was out, I know, and
I went and.
Speaker 4 (28:20):
She had lent and I said, because she interrupted me twice, yeah,
And I said I see you know, do you?
Speaker 2 (28:26):
And she goes, yeah. I said what that? She goes,
it's the secret, And I said yeah, but why how
do you know? She said I have the book?
Speaker 1 (28:36):
Yeah, the book.
Speaker 2 (28:37):
And I said I really, so can you tell us
about it? She goes, I haven't. I can't. And I said,
what is that? She said, I've never opened the book.
Speaker 1 (28:45):
She should have said it's a secret.
Speaker 4 (28:47):
Well she'd already tried that one, and I wasn't having
it right, But I just said to her, well, it
should have on. That's probably the first thing that she
should have on the book is you must open this book,
because it's absolutely.
Speaker 1 (29:01):
Isn't it Just like, yeah, you visualize your yeah, you manifest,
manifest whatever you want to ask for universe.
Speaker 2 (29:08):
You say hey, universe, can I have that eight inches
back on my dish?
Speaker 1 (29:12):
But also you make a board too with pictures of
a Mercedes or if you want done. Yeah, yeah, a
visualization board, isn't it?
Speaker 2 (29:19):
Well? I don't know. I mean, like a lot of things,
I know a little bit about it, but I certainly
I mean.
Speaker 1 (29:25):
By a Melbourne woman who worked at Channel nine.
Speaker 2 (29:27):
I know. And yeah, and it got promulgated by Oprah
Winfrey and that's why I took off. But to be honest,
Dave you you've seen my life. What if I manifested?
Speaker 1 (29:40):
Are you still doing comedy? You manifested that kick tonight?
Speaker 2 (29:43):
I manifested those lollies in thee.
Speaker 1 (29:46):
That that bit of fish with the thermometer in it,
ept saying him, I've got plenty of time. You don't
have to.
Speaker 2 (29:53):
There's no rush here. Is it poorly?
Speaker 1 (29:57):
Is it poorly?
Speaker 2 (29:58):
But no, I didn't look it was good. It's this
is one of the longer.
Speaker 1 (30:02):
You should do that and stand up about the hormometer
because my son bangs on about that all the time.
It's a master chef thing. Yeah, there always had his
thermo because we should get a phomometer dad for cooking roast,
and then I'm like, I don't need a thermometer.
Speaker 2 (30:16):
Yeah, we've got you. Yeah, just make him eat the
first bit.
Speaker 4 (30:21):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (30:22):
If he kills over, whack it back in the oven
for ten minutes.
Speaker 1 (30:25):
I have that chicken that was there all day doesn't
come back.
Speaker 2 (30:28):
And that's why when you said do you want it?
Speaker 4 (30:30):
Because the worst ever food poisoning I have was some
chicken and sat in a bamery. No. No, And that's
why I threw up so badly. I got two black eyes. Oh,
I've never thrown up that violently in my life. In fact,
it wasn't two black eyes. I ended up with a
little like a little mask like I was a raccoon. Oh,
(30:54):
but it was red because I burst all the blood
vessels in it. That's one violence that's bad. Anyway, we're
on the ship at both.
Speaker 1 (31:05):
Ends day Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you're a gastro at
both ends. That's a Tom Seager joke for you. I
used to call him gastro on the foot field because
you were at both ends. Yeah, that's funny. Anyway, we
did it, and driving down here, some guy never seen
this before. There was a guy in a ute towel
(31:26):
gaining us right on a single lane highway like and like,
you know, being quite aggressive, so over and high beam
and stuff, and he overtook us. So then I put
the high beam on him, and he did this. He's
got a light on the back of his card that
flashed in her.
Speaker 4 (31:41):
Face reverse high beam and I reckon it was probably
off an aircraft.
Speaker 1 (31:49):
It was very bright.
Speaker 2 (31:50):
Yeah, we know the headlights that those planes.
Speaker 1 (31:52):
I've never seen that.
Speaker 2 (31:54):
It's the brightest light I've ever seen on the road.
Speaker 1 (31:56):
But that says to me he has a lot of
road rage incidents. And he's put the line into caunteract them.
Speaker 4 (32:02):
Yeah, oh yeah, he's yeah, because I was I was
looking at my phone at the time or something like that,
and all of us something I can see through my hand.
Speaker 1 (32:12):
You thought we were getting kidnaped by aliens.
Speaker 4 (32:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (32:15):
The finally they've come to promise, finally some action.
Speaker 2 (32:20):
I've got my good underwear on.
Speaker 1 (32:21):
It's all, who are they going to probe first?
Speaker 4 (32:24):
I know.
Speaker 1 (32:26):
Who wants at the least, who does a joke?
Speaker 4 (32:28):
Now?
Speaker 1 (32:28):
When the when the aliens land America, they go take
us to your leader and and the guy's like, oh man,
you don't want to nah, you know when I meet
him is a joke about that.
Speaker 4 (32:38):
I don't know, but I saw somebody do a bit
about how they don't they don't know, we don't probe anymore.
Speaker 2 (32:43):
We've got better technology.
Speaker 4 (32:45):
Because it always was that what I wasn't been askings
all the time about that, like yeah, why they putting
things of your bom you know, really you've got the
technology to fly here thousands and thousands of light years
and then they're going to you know, somebody's going.
Speaker 1 (32:59):
To be yeah, that's weird. You should ask the questions.
And we're going to get to eating out lollies.
Speaker 2 (33:06):
Well, we're going to stop off and do a little
aad Sale.
Speaker 1 (33:09):
We're coming to Sale. Everyone. You're in your pooon, you're
in man Isaer with Billy and Sonya and.
Speaker 4 (33:18):
And and.
Speaker 1 (33:22):
So if you're in Queensland, go along. And then me
and you were doing and with with the Gang, we're
doing Sale and we're doing Allbrey yeah first of the
gang and yeah, then you and I doing Perth. Yeah
in Perth, we're coming to mandra Guys Nils and I'm
(33:46):
doing Broom and cool.
Speaker 4 (33:48):
As well, and yeah Davidson takes some fighters and room
for me yeah, yeah, so yeah, we'd be going on.
Speaker 1 (33:55):
But yeah, so the key Okay, well well Brad, look.
Speaker 4 (34:00):
First of all, I want to shout out to the
texts to Joe and Patch just so so no stress whatsoever.
Nothing was a problem. Everything was cool, they know, everything
unobtrusive and just yeah, just a beautiful little theater.
Speaker 2 (34:20):
So it went well.
Speaker 1 (34:22):
It was we're going to return when we were really
famous and sell it out. It's seven living on the
way home.
Speaker 4 (34:31):
What didn't go well, sorry, I'll just take one other
things that work well for me was it wasn't freezing
cold on that stage.
Speaker 2 (34:39):
No, it was warm because of cold backstage.
Speaker 4 (34:42):
Yeah, but it wasn't you know, quite often of those
theaters because you know, that stage was a third of
the room, massive.
Speaker 2 (34:50):
Wasn't it.
Speaker 1 (34:51):
We could have done Oklahoma on it.
Speaker 2 (34:53):
Well, we're could have had a jet Star terminal there.
So that very well.
Speaker 4 (35:00):
And yeah, the audience was quite nice. That's so that's
what worked. Yes, what didn't go well then, I don't know.
I just I feel like all that heat was on
the stage rather than directed at me. Yeah, and it's
so you look all I'm all I'm bitching about, folks,
(35:20):
is wasn't a bad gig. It was just wasn't it
wasn't super easy, and well else didn't go well.
Speaker 1 (35:31):
I don't know all the organizational hazards get in the way.
Speaker 2 (35:33):
No one just said, what might not going to go well?
Is the amount of lollies we've eaten?
Speaker 1 (35:39):
Yes, organizational hazards pretty good? One pretty well?
Speaker 2 (35:43):
Yeah? Yeah, I think that somebody should invent some other
form of travel.
Speaker 1 (35:51):
To get back from bandstyle. How can we do better
next time?
Speaker 2 (35:55):
Look, I felt like we didn't need to do any better.
Speaker 1 (36:00):
Get a helicopter, Yeah, get a HOLLI should be like
trumpet player James. He's got his pilot license and flies people,
flies to his gigs. All right, So here, Tommy little
he's got his pilots. Give us a left, Tommy. We'll
even let him do five.
Speaker 2 (36:20):
Yeah and great, g where's the gig.
Speaker 1 (36:25):
Fly back? I don't think his helicopter license soon.
Speaker 2 (36:28):
I think he's working on Jesus she was. I haven't
even got you know, I can't give it a car
license and I can't reverse the trailer. Really lost my license.
Speaker 1 (36:42):
Points.
Speaker 4 (36:43):
No, a little sneaky little trick which was in Victoria.
I don't know if this happens elsewhere.
Speaker 2 (36:52):
I didn't know this.
Speaker 4 (36:55):
Because I had a few parking fines because just so
you know, I'm not I'm not the wild alone your boy.
I just find parking fines a bit rich because I
think if you don't provide enough parking, then of course
people looking down at default. But anyway, I said to myself, Okay,
I've paid enough parking fines.
Speaker 2 (37:14):
I've had two hart attacks. I'm not going to pay
any more parking pines.
Speaker 1 (37:18):
And no, because you just die with that debck.
Speaker 2 (37:21):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (37:21):
And and I had some uh I read light fine,
and I had a speeding fine, and I said, well
I'll pay.
Speaker 1 (37:29):
Those, you know, yeah, because they have.
Speaker 4 (37:32):
So anyway, I get a letter saying that if I
don't pay all of it, my license will just get suspended.
Speaker 2 (37:40):
And my red shoe.
Speaker 4 (37:44):
You can't even sell your car, you read Joe's it's
not the car, you're redho suspended.
Speaker 2 (37:49):
And I went, oh, you're dirty buggers. So I have
to play it. So yeah, I'm paying them off.
Speaker 1 (37:54):
Show you a payment plan or payment plan.
Speaker 2 (37:57):
And apparently I did what everyone else does is I
got a payment plan. And then a few weeks later
I rang up and said Can I change my payment plan?
Speaker 1 (38:08):
Can I get a payment plan for the payment plan?
Speaker 2 (38:10):
Exactly?
Speaker 4 (38:11):
Yeah? Yeah, anyway, just say, people, don't you know I'm
not a I don't think I'm a socially irresponsible person,
but I am.
Speaker 1 (38:20):
I am a reckless driver. I tell my kids I'm
a defensive driver. But you say, I drive like a cop.
Like a cop.
Speaker 2 (38:26):
Right, So I see Senior's Sergeant Dave O'Neill.
Speaker 1 (38:31):
The other day. Okay, I was dropping hearing off into
the city.
Speaker 2 (38:34):
Right.
Speaker 1 (38:35):
I drive down, wrapped down the street forty kilometers right,
it's changed in the last couple of years from fifty
to forty, which is really slow if you're driving anyway.
Speaker 2 (38:43):
Whatever.
Speaker 1 (38:44):
There's cops, traffic highway patrol with the gun. I go,
look at that, Look at these idiots. Look at these idiots.
Are those poor fuckers? Okay, I drop her off. I
drive back past them again, have a glance. People pulled
out a look those fucking idiots. Anyway, About two hours later, Karen,
can you come pick me up? I'm like, oh, I go,
all right, So I go, I pick her up. I
(39:04):
drive down Rapton Street. All of a sudden, whoo, I'm
like I got pulled out by the same cops that
I've been making fun of. Yeah, and he goes, all right,
you were doing fifty one and or forty zone. I'm
just gonna go check your driving record. And he comes back.
He goes, well, mister O'Neil, you've had a bit of
a sketchy past, haven't you.
Speaker 2 (39:24):
Yeah, yeah you are, Jason statement.
Speaker 1 (39:29):
I said, yeah, I nearly lost my license. Yeah. He goes, yeah, yeah, yeah,
well this is only one point. I'm like, oh, thank fuck.
You know what dollars And he said he was going
to text the fine, but I never got the text.
Speaker 2 (39:41):
I have let me off. No.
Speaker 4 (39:44):
That what happens is once you think you've got off,
the moment you know, I reckon, I've got off, it
just turns up.
Speaker 2 (39:51):
Yeah, it's some deal of the universe.
Speaker 1 (39:54):
But you know why I patroller. They won't let you
off normally.
Speaker 4 (39:57):
I am so I wrote that joke about patrol was
I'm not booked on the way to Aubrey And the
couple was really nice.
Speaker 2 (40:06):
Yeah where his name was so times well something.
Speaker 4 (40:10):
Sauners from the hang around a highway patrol piwaver patrol
and he was eating the pipe and he said and
so he did that, and he gave me a split,
you know, mark me down and everything like that. He
was very friendly, but he did that thing I hate
right at the end where he goes, anyway, Bredford, I
(40:31):
have to ask you, did you have any reason for
for speeding?
Speaker 2 (40:36):
And it just shits me right, you know, just we've done.
What can you say to that?
Speaker 4 (40:42):
And I looked him straight in the eye, straight up
in the eye, and I said to him, just over confident, mate,
and he just went He looked at me and he
went what anyway.
Speaker 2 (40:51):
The joke I wrote out of that was he goes,
what do you mean over confident? What does that mean?
Speaker 4 (40:56):
I said, well, you know, you just gave me a
fine two hundred and ninety dollars and he goes yeah,
And I said, you reckon, I'm going to pay that.
That's overconfident, dish. But it's just it's the same when
they make a joke, right, you know, just come on.
I was like one of those dudes at the airport
said to me, because I made a joke about.
Speaker 1 (41:17):
Not a bomber, yeah, I did.
Speaker 4 (41:19):
I made a joke about a bomb because what now
what happened was I flew back from Wagger. I did
a gig and Wogger and I flew back from Wager
and we just got strained on the plane and then.
Speaker 1 (41:29):
We flew in the yeah, and then they do the
search afterward, and.
Speaker 4 (41:32):
They do the search afterwards before we go on to
the terminal, and there was one umbrella and it was
raining and.
Speaker 2 (41:39):
We had to queue up to get inside to get searched.
Speaker 4 (41:42):
And so I started going mah manhat like that, you know,
because I was annoyed. And then when we got there
to the thing, I said, well, I would have blind
the plane up already.
Speaker 2 (41:56):
So anyway, the guys come out, well three guys grabbed
me and they dave.
Speaker 4 (42:03):
They did that thing where where I want a travelator
right at the effort, and so they have to walk
next to the travelator.
Speaker 2 (42:12):
So I'm standing there like, you know, I'm out of
Star Wars or something.
Speaker 1 (42:16):
Just go along.
Speaker 4 (42:18):
And this guy goes and you can tell them security
because they would try not to look like security. And
one of them says to me, he goes, uh, what
makes you think you're qualified to make it? He asked me,
did you make a joke about a bomb? And I said, well,
I didn't say a bomb. I just said I would
(42:40):
have blow it up because it seemed I said, it
seemed asinine to me to search us after we've left
the plane, right, And he knows, well, what makes you
think you're qualified to make a joke in an airport?
And I just said to him, well, as a matter
of fact, mate, I'm probably at this moment, Demo is quite.
Speaker 2 (43:00):
The person in the airport to do that. And he was,
what you meant? You know what?
Speaker 4 (43:04):
I said, I'm a stand up comedian, I'm allowed to
meet jokes. And he goes, what And I pulled out
one of my DVDs to them and just and then
got off the traveling and just walked off off. I'm
probably I'm probably making people angry out there, and just
go he's he's a band and he's a roade, but.
Speaker 2 (43:24):
Come on, just pulls him. Why would just why would
you search people? Laughter? They've got I know they've done
that to me too. Yeah, it doesn't make it odd?
Speaker 1 (43:34):
All right? Well, and have a listen to Slippery Slope,
our new podcast. It's like a proper podcast with you.
It's not just two guys.
Speaker 4 (43:41):
Rambling on, No, it's it's true crime. Thanks again, Brad,
thanks made bad.
Speaker 2 (43:56):
Going for a.
Speaker 3 (43:57):
Drive to a little gain and drive back back with
the chat. It is called the deep breath. It's called
the de breath. It's called the D three. It's caltond three,
(44:19):
it's caltend breath.
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