ASK UNCUT: "Can I uninvite a groomsman from the wedding?"

Every week, Britt & Laura take on your deepest, darkest dilemmas and unpack them (and HOPEFULLY come up with an answer for you). 

Sam joins us to get some advice on whether he can uninvite a groomsman from his upcoming wedding (we do not envy him tbh).

ENTER YOUR ASK UNCUT HERE: https://www.kiis1065.com.au/competition/the-pick-up-ask-uncut/ 

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Now it is time for our favorite segment. This is
what we do every week on the podcast Life Uncut.
It's called Ask Uncut Were you writing? Or you call
up with your biggest conundrum. Now on the line, we
have Sam who is having a bit of an issue
with his wedding. Hi.

Speaker 2 (00:14):
Sam, Hey, how are you guys?

Speaker 3 (00:17):
Sam? What's going on?

Speaker 2 (00:19):
So I'm hoping you guys can help. We put the
wedding together later on this year and it got delayed
you to COVID, so it's sort a bit in the
works for a while. But we're looking at the guest list.
We're looking at the bridal party now and one of
my mates who I asked to be my groomsman, I

(00:41):
think we've grown a part of it, like it would
feel weird him being there, And I do.

Speaker 3 (00:46):
You want him at the wedding? You just don't want
him as a groomsman?

Speaker 2 (00:49):
Well, I don't think either, but I definitely we don't
want rooms Hang.

Speaker 1 (00:54):
On, you're just trying to say you don't want him
as a groomsman anymore.

Speaker 2 (00:58):
I feel like if I asked him not to be
a grous when it'd be weird if he was at
the wedding.

Speaker 3 (01:03):
I mean, you can obviously un ask someone to be
a groosman or a bridesmad, especially if it's been five
years or four years.

Speaker 1 (01:08):
But if they haven't done anything, But.

Speaker 3 (01:10):
I think you have to accept that it's friendship ending.
Like I think that that could be something that ends
the friendship if they turn around and they really hurt me.
Would you be okay with it to be friendship ending?

Speaker 1 (01:18):
I don't think it has to be friendship ending. It's
only friendship ending if you cancel him from the whole wedding.
But I think you can demote someone from groomsman duties
to just a bridle attendee if it's the right reason.

Speaker 2 (01:31):
Do you reckon it? He would be okay sitting there
at a different table.

Speaker 3 (01:34):
Would do you think? Do you think that it's something
that could end your friendship if you demote him from
being a groomsman or or don't invite him at all.

Speaker 2 (01:42):
I've never had to do it before, so it just
feels like a tricky situation.

Speaker 1 (01:46):
Okay, here's what I think. I think uninviting someone completely
to the wedding is like huge and will be friendship ending.
But I think just demoting him to attendee is not
friendship ending. I just think you have to say, hey,
we we've rearranged the bride all party a little bit.
I'm just having my brother and my lifelong friend. There's
been a few budget cuts in the federal election, but

(02:08):
a few budget cuts. You're still so important to me
and I still really want you there. And yeah, I hope,
I hope you understand. It was really it's a really
hard conversation to have how many grooms?

Speaker 3 (02:16):
When do you have?

Speaker 1 (02:17):
Though?

Speaker 2 (02:18):
So I was going to have three?

Speaker 3 (02:20):
So he was, And is your partner still having she
got three bridesmaids and you're just cutting one or she
got two?

Speaker 2 (02:28):
Yeah, no, she's still gladd to have three.

Speaker 3 (02:33):
And you can. You can do whatever you want. But
I don't agree with Britt. I think he's going to
be offended and you probably are not going to be
that good of friends afterwards. However, it sounds like you're
kind of not really friends now.

Speaker 1 (02:42):
He probably doesn't want the responsibility.

Speaker 2 (02:43):
He's probably like, oh yes, thank god, Yeah, there's a
good shared I think maybe I could just beat him
at one of the tables at the back.

Speaker 3 (02:53):
I've got a question. Has he bought his suit?

Speaker 2 (02:55):
No, we didn't get that far because COVID canceled it.

Speaker 3 (02:58):
So that's has he planned accommodation and everything.

Speaker 2 (03:02):
No, no, not yet, we're revisiting it now.

Speaker 3 (03:04):
Okay, look, I mean, you know you're probably not going
to be his close friends when you're telling me you
can't come to the wedding. But like, I think maybe
a demoting is better than a cancelor toge.

Speaker 1 (03:14):
I demote like for sure. And also chances are if
you feel this way that you've grown apart, it's not
going to come as a shock to him, like he's
going to say, oh, yeah, totally, we haven't seen j
other in years. Like, I don't think it'll be as shocking,
and you just have to explain it the right way. Yeah, no,
but don't cancel him, and don't put him near the toilet, Sam,
come on, don't put him near the stinker. If you're

(03:36):
devoting him, he's still got to be at a good table.

Speaker 2 (03:38):
Thank you,