ASK UNCUT: "How do I politely ask my sister-in-law to move out of my house?"

Every week, Britt & Laura (and now Matt) take on your deepest, darkest dilemmas and unpack them (and HOPEFULLY come up with an answer for you). 

This week, Toni needs to ask her sister-in-law to move out of her house. Britt & Matt have some interesting techniques. 

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:10):
High Heart podcasts, hear more Kiss podcast playlist, and listen
live on the free iHeart app. Matt, this is your
first Thursday with us at the Pickup, which means it's
our first Ask gun Cut.

Speaker 2 (00:23):
Oh my gosh, what a joy, what a pleasure.

Speaker 3 (00:25):
How do you feel your therapy had on?

Speaker 2 (00:27):
No, I like it. I do like a bit of
a gossip and I do like giving advice, So this
is going to be perfect for me.

Speaker 1 (00:32):
Well, this is what we do for those of you
playing at home that haven't heard this. Every Thursday on
our podcast Life on Cut, we do ask Gunkut, where
someone writes in with the their conundrum of the week.
So we've brought it over to the Pickup and it's
become one of our favorite segments. Now we have Tony
on the line. Hey Tony, what's going on? Welcome to
the show. Tell us some new problem this week?

Speaker 3 (00:53):
Hi Brie, It Hi Maddie. So basically it's my sister
in law. She has recently moved home from the US
after splitting with her husband. She's now back in Australia.
She's obviously requested from my husband self if she can
come and stay with us. Yeah, we've obviously said yes,
And we're now over six weeks later and there's been

(01:16):
no formal discussion around where to next, how do I
bring this up? How do I approach this?

Speaker 2 (01:22):
Has she found her feet?

Speaker 3 (01:23):
Are they look she's found a job? Put it that way,
So there's still been no discussion.

Speaker 1 (01:29):
Is there a particular reason you don't like her at
your house in terms of, like you don't get along
with her if she messes the house too small?

Speaker 3 (01:35):
Like what's what's the go? You're right, so we have
two young small children at home as well, and I
guess I'm just wanting to get my own family lifestyle
back in line, Like it makes it difficult when we've
got children as well, and she's kind of coming and
going at her own pace. It just it's that one
extra add of, oh do we need to think about

(01:55):
her for dinner? Do we need to incorporate her own
this and that and that? Can I don't know. I
just would love to know where to from here?

Speaker 2 (02:02):
Does she have a worse habit?

Speaker 3 (02:05):
Good question. I would probably say she's not very kid orientated.
He she's never had children, And I will say that
probably irks me a little bit when she's in our
phone with children, and she's just she doesn't have the
keenness or that eats to play with them, and she
hates kids. She's a kid a little bit.

Speaker 1 (02:25):
How old is she and my follow up question is
does she pay you anything to contribute?

Speaker 3 (02:30):
So she's early forties and at the moment, she's just
been giving us fifty dollars a week just for a
little bit of I guess amenities.

Speaker 1 (02:37):
Now that's a bargain.

Speaker 2 (02:39):
I wonder that's your first mistake. You should have charged
them all a lot more than that.

Speaker 1 (02:42):
She's not going anywhere for fifty dollars.

Speaker 2 (02:44):
You've made it too cushy. I think this is my
first first un cut tony okay, And I think I
think it's it's never been more fitting for me to
give my advice in a situation because I have been
your sister in law.

Speaker 1 (02:57):
Are you're a blood job?

Speaker 2 (02:59):
I have found myself in a situation where I lived
in London for a long time four years. I was
with a partner long term. We broke up, I came back,
I had nowhere to stay and my sister and her
husband welcoming into their home and they had young children
as well. This is it's scared around the similarities. I
think I stayed about two months.

Speaker 1 (03:19):
Okay, that's all right, I though, we're gonna say.

Speaker 2 (03:21):
But eventually I did get kicked out. And what they did,
gradually they just made the environment for me more and
more difficult and unenjoyable to live in. So they had
a lot of things storage wise, like a mountain bike.
They had an old chainsaw. They would store it in
the room that I was in. So over a period
of a number of.

Speaker 3 (03:42):
Days you're sleeping on a bike, more and more.

Speaker 2 (03:44):
Things will get dumped in that room. And then just
to add to that, then the husband would come in
at four in the morning, get ready for work, and
he would just make it worse and worse and worse
as a living environment. So what I think you need
to do is implement this with your sister in law,
so you know, put the kids in a room at
like midnight.

Speaker 1 (04:02):
I think, no, I think you just be passive aggressive,
Like you're at dinner. Not passive aggressive, but you all
having dinner and you just like, hey, Shelley, how's the
house hunting going, Like have you had any success? I
think it's just a question, and like, surely she's forty
surely she can read between you can put used nappies.

Speaker 2 (04:18):
You can put used nappies, put them in a bag,
leave them in her room. And then you want to
make it so she is forced into the decision to
move out.

Speaker 1 (04:26):
But surely, guys, surely, at forty and single, you are
wanting to get back on your feet and dating wise
and like or you just think she's not even remotely
wanting to move out.

Speaker 2 (04:36):
It cost a living crisis fifty bucks a week. Come on,
let's be honest, who's going to move out?

Speaker 3 (04:40):
I do like Maddie's approach so and I do think
we need to start just yeah, making life harder for her.

Speaker 1 (04:45):
Didn't like the passive aggressiveness. You can't just throw doting nappies.

Speaker 2 (04:47):
In a room, yep, absolutely you can. Do you have
any stories like a shed at the moment, Tony, absolutely
empty that out, put it in her room, empty it out,
put her in the sh when she goes to work.
When she goes to work, just put a couple of
things like a lawnmower or put it in the room.

Speaker 1 (05:02):
Tony, I'm so sorry.

Speaker 3 (05:03):
I don't think we've given you any advice.

Speaker 2 (05:05):
Would She's accepting the advice don't apologize Bread Tony, you're welcome.

Speaker 3 (05:11):
Thanks guys, it's actually helpful.