Every week, Britt & Laura take on your deepest, darkest dilemmas and unpack them (and HOPEFULLY come up with an answer for you).
Eloise overheard a coworker bitching about her and it's really affected their working relationship. Should she confront her?
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:08):
Highart podcasts, hear more Kiss podcast playlist, and listen live
on the free iHeart app. Now it is time for
what we do every week on a Thursday, and that
is ask uncut Now, Asking Cutters where you guys? You
call in if you have a big, dark dilemma and
we do our absolute best to answer them. We have
(00:28):
Eloise on the phone and she is having a real
problem in her workplace and isn't sure how to navigate this.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
Hi, Aloise, Hi guys, Hey going to sasterinaon We're good.
Speaker 3 (00:37):
How are you? What's been happening?
Speaker 2 (00:39):
Yeah, So I've I've been working with one of the
girls I work with for a few years, side by side,
and i'd overheard recently through the grape vine she has
been a bit of time talking about me behind my back.
Do you know what you said? Basically, she's just really
unhappy with the job I was doing and we do
the same job. We've just as good as each other.
(01:00):
She was just really unhappy with how I was working,
but didn't say it to my face.
Speaker 3 (01:05):
Have you personally overheard her or has another colleague just said.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
Hey, no, another colleague she had spent time talking about
me for another colleague.
Speaker 1 (01:12):
That's rough. Also, did she speak to just one specific colleague,
because that's then becomes tricky because you can't be like, hey,
this person told me this thing that you said, because
then it just you know, everyone gets pissed off.
Speaker 2 (01:23):
Yeah, I just have no idea. Like, we literally sit
next to each other, Like it's really hard to navigate
when we work so closely together. I know that she's
really unhappy with me, but you know, we own the
same wage, we do the same job.
Speaker 3 (01:36):
So do you think that she has said this to
anybody else? Do you get the inklan that has been
said to more people?
Speaker 2 (01:41):
Yeah, I definitely feel like it she said it to
a few people, not one either.
Speaker 1 (01:46):
That opens up the doorway for you to be able
to say something to her. And also the fact that
she's talking to multiple people about you, I think that
poisons the world because all that's doing is it's then
making other people be more critical of your work or
look for the negative things. And I reckon, you have
to say something to it.
Speaker 3 (02:02):
You've got to pull that up right away. I think
you just say I genuinely, now that you know she
said it to more than one person, I think you say, hey,
can I chat to you for a second. Look, I've
heard that you are unhappy with me for whatever reason.
I would love for you to be able to tell
me why. And I hope that in the future, if
you have an issue with me, you come and tell
me instead of talking to other people about it. Because
there are so many things wrong with her talking like
you just said, poisons the world. But I don't think
(02:24):
that that needs to be an awkward thing to say. Hey, look,
can we just talk for a second, because I've heard
you've been saying this. Put her on the spot and
see what happens.
Speaker 1 (02:31):
Also awkward though, when you have to go back to
sitting directly next to us.
Speaker 3 (02:34):
Yeah, Like when you say goodbye to someone and then
you walk in the same direction. Do you think you
could do that or is that too awkward for you?
Speaker 2 (02:41):
I feel like it'd be really hard to sit next
to her again.
Speaker 3 (02:45):
Yeah, and you moved in.
Speaker 1 (02:46):
What sort of company is it?
Speaker 3 (02:47):
Like?
Speaker 1 (02:48):
Is it a big company? I don't mean, like.
Speaker 2 (02:49):
Exactly what you need in retail?
Speaker 1 (02:51):
Okay? Right, so you are, do you know what? And
I run retail businesses, so I know this retail can
be so bitchy with how people interact but I also
think that the only way to clear the air with
this type of thing. And I say this from the
perspective of someone who manages retail. I have myself twenty
stars that I managed through my other company. I think
you have to You've got to call a spade a spade,
(03:12):
and if it absolutely isn't something that you can handle yourself,
going and speaking to whoever your manager is about it
and saying, hey, I'm really struggling with this. I feel
as though this makes me, you know, it's really ruining
the culture for me, because then they're going to be
able to do something about it. But I would I
would approach it first and be and do it in
a really non confrontational way.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
Yeah, I think that they're a great steps to take.
My nervousness is just that she loves the good gossip.
Then I think maybe I'm just a target that week.
Speaker 3 (03:42):
And it might just go around. Yeah, I'm that also
doesn't mean it's okay, Like just because someone that is
someone like, oh, she always does this, we get used
to making excuses for people like that, like, oh, it's
just who they are, which is a load of rubbish,
Like even if that is who they are. That doesn't
mean it's good.
Speaker 1 (03:57):
I think anyone should be able to go to work
and not be getting gossiped about like that. We shouldn't
expect or accept that as a normal And.
Speaker 2 (04:04):
Like you said, I suppose I can always go above
if there's an issue.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
I mean, I think this is good advice for anyone
because I think a lot of people feel nervous about,
like speaking to a manager about something. Those conversations don't
have to be big and dramatic. You're not dubbing on someone.
You're just making them aware so that they can manage
the situation. And most of the time, like a manager
is not going to go direct to that person say
this person said this like you would hope. If you've
got good people in managerial positions, they know how to
(04:29):
navigate those types of situations if they come up thing
it's good.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
Yeah, yeah, I agree, we good that it really sucks.
Speaker 3 (04:37):
I think we've all been on the end of that
at some point of our career.
Speaker 2 (04:40):
Yeah, thank you so much, girl, that's really great advice.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
Thanks Eloise. Hey bridg just at the time you were
talking about a staff member, but they're behind you.
Speaker 3 (04:48):
Oh do you know what ones? Do you know a
funny story. I think a lot of people don't know.
But I used to work in the hospital for like
thirteen years, and this one time I was in the
emergency department and there was this doctor that I was
having a fight with high pressure. We were, yeah, we
were disagreeing on the way to treat a patient. And
this was my world, right, Like, I get he's a doctor.
I'm in diagnostic radiography. I was doing a trauma CT scan.
(05:08):
He doesn't know what it is. I was like going
to town on him, and I think I called him
a moron. I said, he doesn't nice. He's the doctor Brier.
It doesn't matter. He wasn't the doctor of radiology. They're
very different, right, Like we study for four years. We
know that equipment, we know what you do. He doesn't
know that. And I was saying, he's requesting the wrong thing.
This is bad for him. This guy's a moron. Doesn't
(05:29):
know he's talking about. As he walked around the corner
and I walked around, we bumped into each other. Not
only did he hear every word, but I said it
my noise was touching his chest and I was like, well, well,
it's true, that's what I said, because I had to
double down. But anyway,
Highart podcasts, hear more Kiss podcast playlist, and listen live
on the free iHeart app. Now it is time for
what we do every week on a Thursday, and that
is ask uncut Now, Asking Cutters where you guys? You
call in if you have a big, dark dilemma and
we do our absolute best to answer them. We have
(00:28):
Eloise on the phone and she is having a real
problem in her workplace and isn't sure how to navigate this.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
Hi, Aloise, Hi guys, Hey going to sasterinaon We're good.
Speaker 3 (00:37):
How are you? What's been happening?
Speaker 2 (00:39):
Yeah, So I've I've been working with one of the
girls I work with for a few years, side by side,
and i'd overheard recently through the grape vine she has
been a bit of time talking about me behind my back.
Do you know what you said? Basically, she's just really
unhappy with the job I was doing and we do
the same job. We've just as good as each other.
(01:00):
She was just really unhappy with how I was working,
but didn't say it to my face.
Speaker 3 (01:05):
Have you personally overheard her or has another colleague just said.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
Hey, no, another colleague she had spent time talking about
me for another colleague.
Speaker 1 (01:12):
That's rough. Also, did she speak to just one specific colleague,
because that's then becomes tricky because you can't be like, hey,
this person told me this thing that you said, because
then it just you know, everyone gets pissed off.
Speaker 2 (01:23):
Yeah, I just have no idea. Like, we literally sit
next to each other, Like it's really hard to navigate
when we work so closely together. I know that she's
really unhappy with me, but you know, we own the
same wage, we do the same job.
Speaker 3 (01:36):
So do you think that she has said this to
anybody else? Do you get the inklan that has been
said to more people?
Speaker 2 (01:41):
Yeah, I definitely feel like it she said it to
a few people, not one either.
Speaker 1 (01:46):
That opens up the doorway for you to be able
to say something to her. And also the fact that
she's talking to multiple people about you, I think that
poisons the world because all that's doing is it's then
making other people be more critical of your work or
look for the negative things. And I reckon, you have
to say something to it.
Speaker 3 (02:02):
You've got to pull that up right away. I think
you just say I genuinely, now that you know she
said it to more than one person, I think you say, hey,
can I chat to you for a second. Look, I've
heard that you are unhappy with me for whatever reason.
I would love for you to be able to tell
me why. And I hope that in the future, if
you have an issue with me, you come and tell
me instead of talking to other people about it. Because
there are so many things wrong with her talking like
you just said, poisons the world. But I don't think
(02:24):
that that needs to be an awkward thing to say. Hey, look,
can we just talk for a second, because I've heard
you've been saying this. Put her on the spot and
see what happens.
Speaker 1 (02:31):
Also awkward though, when you have to go back to
sitting directly next to us.
Speaker 3 (02:34):
Yeah, Like when you say goodbye to someone and then
you walk in the same direction. Do you think you
could do that or is that too awkward for you?
Speaker 2 (02:41):
I feel like it'd be really hard to sit next
to her again.
Speaker 3 (02:45):
Yeah, and you moved in.
Speaker 1 (02:46):
What sort of company is it?
Speaker 3 (02:47):
Like?
Speaker 1 (02:48):
Is it a big company? I don't mean, like.
Speaker 2 (02:49):
Exactly what you need in retail?
Speaker 1 (02:51):
Okay? Right, so you are, do you know what? And
I run retail businesses, so I know this retail can
be so bitchy with how people interact but I also
think that the only way to clear the air with
this type of thing. And I say this from the
perspective of someone who manages retail. I have myself twenty
stars that I managed through my other company. I think
you have to You've got to call a spade a spade,
(03:12):
and if it absolutely isn't something that you can handle yourself,
going and speaking to whoever your manager is about it
and saying, hey, I'm really struggling with this. I feel
as though this makes me, you know, it's really ruining
the culture for me, because then they're going to be
able to do something about it. But I would I
would approach it first and be and do it in
a really non confrontational way.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
Yeah, I think that they're a great steps to take.
My nervousness is just that she loves the good gossip.
Then I think maybe I'm just a target that week.
Speaker 3 (03:42):
And it might just go around. Yeah, I'm that also
doesn't mean it's okay, Like just because someone that is
someone like, oh, she always does this, we get used
to making excuses for people like that, like, oh, it's
just who they are, which is a load of rubbish,
Like even if that is who they are. That doesn't
mean it's good.
Speaker 1 (03:57):
I think anyone should be able to go to work
and not be getting gossiped about like that. We shouldn't
expect or accept that as a normal And.
Speaker 2 (04:04):
Like you said, I suppose I can always go above
if there's an issue.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
I mean, I think this is good advice for anyone
because I think a lot of people feel nervous about,
like speaking to a manager about something. Those conversations don't
have to be big and dramatic. You're not dubbing on someone.
You're just making them aware so that they can manage
the situation. And most of the time, like a manager
is not going to go direct to that person say
this person said this like you would hope. If you've
got good people in managerial positions, they know how to
(04:29):
navigate those types of situations if they come up thing
it's good.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
Yeah, yeah, I agree, we good that it really sucks.
Speaker 3 (04:37):
I think we've all been on the end of that
at some point of our career.
Speaker 2 (04:40):
Yeah, thank you so much, girl, that's really great advice.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
Thanks Eloise. Hey bridg just at the time you were
talking about a staff member, but they're behind you.
Speaker 3 (04:48):
Oh do you know what ones? Do you know a
funny story. I think a lot of people don't know.
But I used to work in the hospital for like
thirteen years, and this one time I was in the
emergency department and there was this doctor that I was
having a fight with high pressure. We were, yeah, we
were disagreeing on the way to treat a patient. And
this was my world, right, Like, I get he's a doctor.
I'm in diagnostic radiography. I was doing a trauma CT scan.
(05:08):
He doesn't know what it is. I was like going
to town on him, and I think I called him
a moron. I said, he doesn't nice. He's the doctor Brier.
It doesn't matter. He wasn't the doctor of radiology. They're
very different, right, Like we study for four years. We
know that equipment, we know what you do. He doesn't
know that. And I was saying, he's requesting the wrong thing.
This is bad for him. This guy's a moron. Doesn't
(05:29):
know he's talking about. As he walked around the corner
and I walked around, we bumped into each other. Not
only did he hear every word, but I said it
my noise was touching his chest and I was like, well, well,
it's true, that's what I said, because I had to
double down. But anyway,
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