ASK UNCUT: "I'm in a long distance relationship... how do we decide which country to live in?"

Every week, Britt & Laura take on your deepest, darkest dilemmas and unpack them (and HOPEFULLY come up with an answer for you). 

Lauren joins the show - she has found herself in a long distance relationship with someone she thinks could be the one - the only catch is that she lives in Australia and he lives in Canada. 

ENTER YOUR ASK UNCUT HERE: https://www.kiis1065.com.au/competition/the-pick-up-ask-uncut/ 

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:10):
Hihart podcasts, Heem More Kiss podcast playlist and listen live
on the free iHeart app. It is time for the
thing we do every Thursday, and that is ask uncut.
Will you guys call up with your biggest, deepest, darkest
problems and Britain and I do our absolute best to
answer them. We've got Lauren on the phone at the moment,
and Lauren has met the man of her dreams on Kintiqui.

(00:32):
The problem is is that he does not live in
the country. Oh, that sounds familiar, and then they have
to do a long distance Britt. I thought you'd have
an actual skin in the game on this one. Lauren,
Welcome to the show.

Speaker 2 (00:41):
Thank you so much for having me.

Speaker 3 (00:42):
Hey, what's going on? Give us a rundown.

Speaker 2 (00:45):
I met this guy that I think could be the one,
but he lives in Canada and I live in Australia,
and we both have careers where I don't think we
can move, you know, like I'm a doctor and I
don't have a license in Canada and he's worked for
ten years to work his way up this industry. He
can't just move here.

Speaker 1 (01:02):
So have you guys had this conversation like I mean,
have you actually said, you know, okay, I'm really wanting
to see what this could be for us. And have
you asked him whether or not he could make the
move or is it just an assumption that it's going
to be too hard.

Speaker 2 (01:15):
He told me he's falling in love with me. Like,
we haven't talked about who's going to move. We're just
talking about we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

Speaker 3 (01:21):
Oh so, okay, here's the thing. I've recently married, I've
been together for three years, and we've never lived together.
Neither of us have made the move because we can't.
We've both said that our careers are really important to
us at the moment. Having said that, I definitely make
more of a sacrifice. I have to go there probably
eighty percent of the time, and he comes here. You know,

(01:42):
he lives in Italy. He comes here twenty percent at
the time. But we do have plans to be together
and we're working towards that. I think for you guys,
I know, for that medical world that you're in, it's
not easy. You can't just pick up and start working
as a doctor in Canada. Like it's tests, it's expensive
exams you might not pass them it might set you
back in your career. You haven't given us a lot

(02:02):
of information about his career, but I just want to ask,
is it something that you think he could come here
for the short term and then you both move back
long term.

Speaker 2 (02:11):
Well, honestly, I'm not sure, and I think I'll feel
a lot of guilt. So he's worked in the jewelry
industry for ten years and he's now a company's top manager,
and his dad has worked in the same industry, and
the span stream is to work for his dad's company.
And it's a massive company but only trades in Canada.

Speaker 3 (02:28):
But it sounds like that's an industry he could come
here and still working and then go back and work
for his dad if it's a family business. But have
you asked him that.

Speaker 2 (02:34):
I haven't. I found it really hard pretty early on.
So we've known each other like six weeks now, Like,
when do you have that Oh no, okay, No.

Speaker 1 (02:41):
It's not okay, I think and I think we're probably
going to say the same thing on this. Brit Is
like with long distance relationships, you have to have the
big scary conversations really early because you need to know
what it is. I mean, absolutely you could date, and
you could go and have a lovely time and then
get yourself into a situation in six or seven or
eight months time where you're totally in love with this

(03:02):
person but neither of you are even remotely able to
make the sacrifice of moving or for one person, it's
going to be a huge sacrifice.

Speaker 3 (03:11):
And if neither of you are willing to sacrifice, then
you need to move the conversation to the next point,
which is, well, do we want to be in a
relationship or the foreseeable future where we are not together?
And that is a question that only you two can answer.
But I would not be put off that it's early days.
If he's seen his falling in love with you and
you guys are talking about forever. That's a very standard

(03:31):
baseline question of Okay, if we do this, how does
it work? And I think it's I just don't want
to see you give up your career because so often
we do see the women that are the ones that
make the sacrifices.

Speaker 1 (03:43):
I want to know that, Lauren, when he I mean,
you guys met, you went on continueive two weeks. You
haven't seen each other since you've been doing this, like
long distance, phone calling, and everything else. What did you
say when he tells you that he loves you?

Speaker 2 (03:54):
I said, I felt the same. That's why I would
consider like sacrificing my career.

Speaker 4 (04:00):
No, No, I think you have to have those big
conversations before you even remotely entertain the idea of sacrificing
no career in the medical field.

Speaker 1 (04:11):
Please promise me you're going to have a hard conversation
with him. Which is around would you make the sacrifices
to spend some time here in Australia? Is that something
that could be on the cards, Go for a holiday,
spend some time together.

Speaker 3 (04:23):
First, do not, please, if we can leave you with
one thing, If I can leave you with one thing,
it's do not put your career on hold or sacrifice
so for something at this point in time, Write down
what it looks like for both of you to make
that sacrifice and see what one is doable. It will
work if it's right, and he will make it work
as well. Like no one that loves you is going
to ask you to stop what you're doing. There is

(04:44):
no relationship ever that has no sacrifice, long distance or not.
Every single relationship has it. Long distance has it more
but if he asked you to give up your career
put it on hold, then he's not your person.

Speaker 2 (04:55):
No, he wouldn't. But I just feel bad. But thank
you so much, Britt, that's so beautiful. Congratulations, I'm being
a missus. I'm so happy for you.

Speaker 3 (05:02):
Thank you, and please can you let us know like
the follow up, because we definitely want to know, well
I do. I want to know what happens with this situation.

Speaker 2 (05:08):
I will. I told him I was coming on the
pod and I said him the video started, He's been
watching the pod and he was like, oh, they talk
about like really naughty things. I was like, yeah, where Aussie?
Like nothing out of the picture.

Speaker 1 (05:20):
Lauren's talking about life on cut podcast right now, not
the radio show about Lauren. Let us know what happens,
and if all hell breaks loosen you're not able to
actually have the conversation with him, you can just send
him this audio and then you'll be able to have
it afterwards where.

Speaker 2 (05:30):
You'd get a good ring though, gonna do You're gonna
have the conversation.

Speaker 1 (05:33):
For me, all right? Good luck Lauren. And if you
guys want to join us at all and have us
answer a question for ask gun cut slide on into
the DMS at the pickup, and we can have you
on next week to answer your deep, dark and burning questions.