September 4, 2025 • 4 mins
Every week, Britt & Laura take on your deepest, darkest dilemmas and unpack them (and HOPEFULLY come up with an answer for you).
This week, we chat to Mary who has been sleeping in a separate bedroom to her partner.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
Hi Heart podcasts, hear more Kiss podcast playlist, and listen
live on the free iHeart app.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
We're doing Ask on Cut, which we do every week
on our podcast Life on Cut podcast.
Speaker 3 (00:21):
You guys are writing the biggest problems of the week
and we do our best to answer them.
Speaker 4 (00:24):
I don't know if this one is a huge problem.
Speaker 3 (00:26):
Well, this is a problem I'm in.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
I am in this predicament as well, so I feel
like I am going to be able to give some
brilliant advice.
Speaker 3 (00:32):
We have Mary on the line.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
Who is having some sleep issues. She's in a sleep divorce.
Hey Mary, Hi guys, I'm Mary.
Speaker 4 (00:40):
What's happening?
Speaker 5 (00:42):
So me and my partner we've been sleeping in separate
rooms for about three years now. I'm just kind of
thinking how do I get out of the roommate though?
Speaker 4 (00:51):
Okay, so how did it start?
Speaker 1 (00:53):
Was it like one of you snores or was it
just more convenient? Like what was the reason why you
ended up in separate rooms in the first place?
Speaker 5 (00:59):
Having a second baby or satur drem pregnant? Bee? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (01:04):
So how long were you together before that?
Speaker 5 (01:06):
Like?
Speaker 3 (01:06):
How long you been to other?
Speaker 4 (01:07):
Total?
Speaker 5 (01:08):
We've been together for nine years.
Speaker 3 (01:10):
Oh, so you so.
Speaker 2 (01:12):
What's that math seven six or seven years you're in
the same bed and then you've skid out onto your
own room, And does that mean you're left to be
the only person that gets up in the night and
stuff for the little ones?
Speaker 5 (01:22):
Pretty much?
Speaker 4 (01:23):
But also, I mean, I think this is really common.
Speaker 1 (01:26):
But I actually was reading something recently that was talking
about how, yes, it's common that we end up sleeping
in separate rooms when you have young kids, because it's
just functionally it makes sense. But then what is happening
to a lot of couples is that they're not finding
their way back. Yeah, and then it causes this like
romantic or I guess connections separation is what happens. Do
(01:46):
you feel as though the relationship not just the sleeping
separate rooms, but do you feel like there's like being
a dip in the relationship in terms of like how
connected you feel to your husband as well?
Speaker 3 (01:55):
Do you mean like the horizontal dancers?
Speaker 5 (01:57):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (01:57):
I was trying to get there in a nice.
Speaker 5 (01:59):
People Yeah, I do. When people ask and the like,
are you sleeping separate rooms? Isn't that weird? I don't
need together? But yeah we are.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
No, I look, I sleep in a different country to
my husband Ben, so I used to.
Speaker 4 (02:10):
Sleep with him when he's around once a.
Speaker 3 (02:12):
Week in six months. Yes, I do.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
No, I don't think it's the end of the world
as long as the connection is still there, and I
think a lot more people are doing it.
Speaker 3 (02:19):
I think it's becoming quite common.
Speaker 2 (02:20):
I have friends with our kids that are in great
relationships and they sleep in their own rooms because maybe
one of them like they just.
Speaker 3 (02:27):
Get better sleep for whatever reason.
Speaker 2 (02:29):
But it means you do need to make more effort
in the other areas of your life to.
Speaker 3 (02:33):
Stay connected and have the intimacy, because otherwise it is
so easy.
Speaker 2 (02:37):
To fall into a trap of literally being roommates, like
just two people that coexist together and share a house together.
Speaker 1 (02:43):
Yeah, I am Look, I have a bit more of
a personal question. Are you still being intimate with each
other or is it because of the separate room situation
that that kind of is now just not really happening.
Speaker 5 (02:55):
No, we still do. So we still have a sleepover
in each other's rooms two or three times a week.
Speaker 3 (03:00):
Oh, you're fine, you're that's better than most people sleep
in the same bed.
Speaker 4 (03:06):
This is actually working out great for you.
Speaker 3 (03:08):
I think that's the perfect thing.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
Half of the week you guys are together and doing
whatever it is you're doing, and the other half of the
week you getting really great sleep.
Speaker 3 (03:16):
I actually think you've unlocked the key here, Mary.
Speaker 1 (03:19):
Question, is it your friends who think it's weird or
like it is other people who were having an issue
with it?
Speaker 5 (03:24):
No, yeah, just friends, Like we don't have an issue
with it, but when I mentioned it, they're like, oh,
that's weird.
Speaker 3 (03:28):
Jealous, Yes, they're jealous for sure.
Speaker 1 (03:32):
Do you know what I think some people people project right,
like if it works for you guys, and you're still
if you said to me, oh, we would never ever,
you know, intimate with each other and now we sleep
in other rooms, and I'd say, yeah, that sounds very roommty.
Speaker 4 (03:43):
The fact that that's not a problem to me.
Speaker 1 (03:46):
I think that people just they impose their views from
their relationship onto others, and like, because it wouldn't work
for them, they assumed that it can't possibly work for
someone else. But it sounds like you guys have it
nailed literally three to four times a week.
Speaker 5 (03:59):
Yep.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
Well, look, I just don't think you've been a predicament.
I think a lot of people can learn from you.
And take something from this today. But hey, Mary, just
for getting on air with us today, you have scored
yourself a pair of Sony's new earbuds. I don't know
if you've seen these bad boys, but they are noise canceling,
so they're gonna be brilliant for the nights that you
want to block that baby.
Speaker 3 (04:16):
Out, maybe you want to train your husband's voice out.
Speaker 2 (04:19):
But they've got great clear calls, stylish colors, so they're
all yours.
Speaker 3 (04:23):
Just be calling up today.
Speaker 5 (04:25):
Wow, awesome, thanks so much.
Speaker 4 (04:27):
Not a worries
Hi Heart podcasts, hear more Kiss podcast playlist, and listen
live on the free iHeart app.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
We're doing Ask on Cut, which we do every week
on our podcast Life on Cut podcast.
Speaker 3 (00:21):
You guys are writing the biggest problems of the week
and we do our best to answer them.
Speaker 4 (00:24):
I don't know if this one is a huge problem.
Speaker 3 (00:26):
Well, this is a problem I'm in.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
I am in this predicament as well, so I feel
like I am going to be able to give some
brilliant advice.
Speaker 3 (00:32):
We have Mary on the line.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
Who is having some sleep issues. She's in a sleep divorce.
Hey Mary, Hi guys, I'm Mary.
Speaker 4 (00:40):
What's happening?
Speaker 5 (00:42):
So me and my partner we've been sleeping in separate
rooms for about three years now. I'm just kind of
thinking how do I get out of the roommate though?
Speaker 4 (00:51):
Okay, so how did it start?
Speaker 1 (00:53):
Was it like one of you snores or was it
just more convenient? Like what was the reason why you
ended up in separate rooms in the first place?
Speaker 5 (00:59):
Having a second baby or satur drem pregnant? Bee? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (01:04):
So how long were you together before that?
Speaker 5 (01:06):
Like?
Speaker 3 (01:06):
How long you been to other?
Speaker 4 (01:07):
Total?
Speaker 5 (01:08):
We've been together for nine years.
Speaker 3 (01:10):
Oh, so you so.
Speaker 2 (01:12):
What's that math seven six or seven years you're in
the same bed and then you've skid out onto your
own room, And does that mean you're left to be
the only person that gets up in the night and
stuff for the little ones?
Speaker 5 (01:22):
Pretty much?
Speaker 4 (01:23):
But also, I mean, I think this is really common.
Speaker 1 (01:26):
But I actually was reading something recently that was talking
about how, yes, it's common that we end up sleeping
in separate rooms when you have young kids, because it's
just functionally it makes sense. But then what is happening
to a lot of couples is that they're not finding
their way back. Yeah, and then it causes this like
romantic or I guess connections separation is what happens. Do
(01:46):
you feel as though the relationship not just the sleeping
separate rooms, but do you feel like there's like being
a dip in the relationship in terms of like how
connected you feel to your husband as well?
Speaker 3 (01:55):
Do you mean like the horizontal dancers?
Speaker 5 (01:57):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (01:57):
I was trying to get there in a nice.
Speaker 5 (01:59):
People Yeah, I do. When people ask and the like,
are you sleeping separate rooms? Isn't that weird? I don't
need together? But yeah we are.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
No, I look, I sleep in a different country to
my husband Ben, so I used to.
Speaker 4 (02:10):
Sleep with him when he's around once a.
Speaker 3 (02:12):
Week in six months. Yes, I do.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
No, I don't think it's the end of the world
as long as the connection is still there, and I
think a lot more people are doing it.
Speaker 3 (02:19):
I think it's becoming quite common.
Speaker 2 (02:20):
I have friends with our kids that are in great
relationships and they sleep in their own rooms because maybe
one of them like they just.
Speaker 3 (02:27):
Get better sleep for whatever reason.
Speaker 2 (02:29):
But it means you do need to make more effort
in the other areas of your life to.
Speaker 3 (02:33):
Stay connected and have the intimacy, because otherwise it is
so easy.
Speaker 2 (02:37):
To fall into a trap of literally being roommates, like
just two people that coexist together and share a house together.
Speaker 1 (02:43):
Yeah, I am Look, I have a bit more of
a personal question. Are you still being intimate with each
other or is it because of the separate room situation
that that kind of is now just not really happening.
Speaker 5 (02:55):
No, we still do. So we still have a sleepover
in each other's rooms two or three times a week.
Speaker 3 (03:00):
Oh, you're fine, you're that's better than most people sleep
in the same bed.
Speaker 4 (03:06):
This is actually working out great for you.
Speaker 3 (03:08):
I think that's the perfect thing.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
Half of the week you guys are together and doing
whatever it is you're doing, and the other half of the
week you getting really great sleep.
Speaker 3 (03:16):
I actually think you've unlocked the key here, Mary.
Speaker 1 (03:19):
Question, is it your friends who think it's weird or
like it is other people who were having an issue
with it?
Speaker 5 (03:24):
No, yeah, just friends, Like we don't have an issue
with it, but when I mentioned it, they're like, oh,
that's weird.
Speaker 3 (03:28):
Jealous, Yes, they're jealous for sure.
Speaker 1 (03:32):
Do you know what I think some people people project right,
like if it works for you guys, and you're still
if you said to me, oh, we would never ever,
you know, intimate with each other and now we sleep
in other rooms, and I'd say, yeah, that sounds very roommty.
Speaker 4 (03:43):
The fact that that's not a problem to me.
Speaker 1 (03:46):
I think that people just they impose their views from
their relationship onto others, and like, because it wouldn't work
for them, they assumed that it can't possibly work for
someone else. But it sounds like you guys have it
nailed literally three to four times a week.
Speaker 5 (03:59):
Yep.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
Well, look, I just don't think you've been a predicament.
I think a lot of people can learn from you.
And take something from this today. But hey, Mary, just
for getting on air with us today, you have scored
yourself a pair of Sony's new earbuds. I don't know
if you've seen these bad boys, but they are noise canceling,
so they're gonna be brilliant for the nights that you
want to block that baby.
Speaker 3 (04:16):
Out, maybe you want to train your husband's voice out.
Speaker 2 (04:19):
But they've got great clear calls, stylish colors, so they're
all yours.
Speaker 3 (04:23):
Just be calling up today.
Speaker 5 (04:25):
Wow, awesome, thanks so much.
Speaker 4 (04:27):
Not a worries
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