ASK UNCUT: "Should I have my 3-year-old in the delivery room when I give birth?"

Every week, Britt & Laura take on your deepest, darkest dilemmas and unpack them (and HOPEFULLY come up with an answer for you). 

Lily is really keen to have her 3 year old be a part of her upcoming birth, but is a little unsure of the actual logistics of it. 

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:10):
Hi Heart Podcasts, Heem More Kiss podcast playlist, and listen
live on the free iHeart app. Now, being that it
is Thursday, it is time for what we do every Thursday,
and that is ask gun Cut. We do it on
our podcast Life on Cut Podcasts, where you guys call
up with your biggest, deep, as dark as dilemmas and
we do our most. Look, we do our best to
answer them, even if we aren't particularly qualified.

Speaker 2 (00:32):
I think we're great at it.

Speaker 1 (00:33):
Okay, well good, I'm glad that someone does.

Speaker 3 (00:36):
This might be one that you're going.

Speaker 2 (00:37):
To really be able to help with today, Laura.

Speaker 1 (00:39):
Yeah, Look, I don't know how I feel. We've got
Lily on the line. Lily, welcome to the show.

Speaker 4 (00:44):
Hi, how are you, guys?

Speaker 3 (00:45):
I'm good?

Speaker 1 (00:45):
What is your issue that you're having?

Speaker 4 (00:48):
So I am giving birth to my second baby in
December and I have a little bit of a dilemma
on whether I bring my three year old to the
birth in Yeah, because it's a a birthing center, so
it's an option, and he loves the fat that there's
a baby and mummy's belly, But I'm like, is it
going to traumatize him? Yes?

Speaker 1 (01:11):
Okay, produce a grace. She floated this question with us
earlier today and I was like, wow, not so much.
Is it going to traumatize him? It might, you know,
I mean that that could be a thing. But also
I know is your is your three year old that
does he have a long attention span? Like is he
good sitting for a long period of.

Speaker 4 (01:27):
Time or well they have this rule there whether he
has to have his own support person. So for me,
it would be my mother in law would be able
to bring him in and out and that kind of thing.

Speaker 2 (01:38):
I mean, it's pretty intense if you think of like that.

Speaker 4 (01:41):
I don't want to.

Speaker 2 (01:41):
Rub this in, but like the pain you're gonna feel.
But even if you're not feeling the pain, you're you're pushing,
you're grunting your unial positions, and a baby's still coming
out of you. I mean, I haven't had kids, so
I can't talk about it from that sense, but I
imagine for a three year old that doesn't quite understand
what's happening seeing their mum like that, and it's I
don't think I would do it.

Speaker 1 (02:01):
Lily. Do you go through like pain medication or do
you just do it the ol natural way?

Speaker 4 (02:06):
Well, I'm hoping to do it the natural way. This term,
I'm doing it through a birth center, so it's kind
of the goal of that way when you're there. But
I didn't even think about it until I went there
and I saw all these big, beautiful photos of younger
siblings at the birth.

Speaker 1 (02:22):
I'm like, oh, can they not be there for the
like for once the babies come out, Like bring them
in once you've done the pushing and the babies. Everyone
has such different experiences, and I would never want to
like yuck someone else's birth experience. My biggest worry would be, Like,
I have a four year old Lola, and to imagine
her in the room, my biggest worry is that even
if she has a support person, the person that she

(02:44):
always wants the most is me, And I'm not going
to be able to tend to her because I'm going
to be, you know, in the midst of pushing a
baby out myself, And so I don't want to then
have my whole experience of my birth experience be around
being worried about her and also being worried about getting
this baby out.

Speaker 2 (02:59):
I'd be more worried about the traumatizing the child, Like
if you're not going for paying medication watching your love,
your mom go through that, because with no pain medication,
let's called the space of spade, there's going to be
screaming and grunting and swearing and sweating and you're so
uncomfortable and crying and exhaustion. I don't know if that's
the you know, it's not giving the wiggles. I don't
know if it's like, I don't know, the kind of

(03:22):
like entertainment your little kidney.

Speaker 1 (03:24):
Yeah, I am.

Speaker 2 (03:25):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (03:25):
Firstly, i'd love to hear from someone who has actually
had their young kid in the room with them. Also,
I think sometimes when that happens, it's usually in their
own home. Like if people have birthed in their own house,
that's a bit different because the kid can kind of
come and go as they please, and they have their
own bedroom in a safe place, whereas even when you're
in a birthing suite, they're still just in a hospital,
which all feels very foreign to them. For me, I'm

(03:47):
looking forward to having that time away from my kids.
So I don't want to.

Speaker 2 (03:53):
What do your husband want to do?

Speaker 4 (03:55):
He doesn't mind. He's just like, you do whatever you
need to do. But he has flagged with me like,
are you going to be able to get in the
zone fully because my three year old is very much
a mummy's boy. Yeah, I do worry once you said that.
As much as I love to have him involved in everything,
I think this might be one that he has to

(04:17):
stood out.

Speaker 1 (04:18):
Don't get me wrong. I did have a moment where
I thought maybe my oldest girl Marley might want to
but I was like, nah, she can come after she's Yeah,
when when mum's laying in bed having you know, eating
oysters and doing all the things I wasn't able to
do prior.

Speaker 2 (04:30):
Then you can come in and see.

Speaker 3 (04:32):
Clearly I'm going to upset you and say to know
from me, but I'm going to bring you back up
and say, just for getting on air with us today,
you have scored yourself a pair of Sony's new earbuds,
which are like some amazing noise canceling They're really really
perfect the birth.

Speaker 1 (04:44):
Sweet take me to the perfect.

Speaker 2 (04:47):
Actually maybe for your husbands you'll probably want them to really.

Speaker 1 (04:50):
Good luck and congratulations whatever you end up choosing to do.
I mean, if you do end up having a kid
in there, please give us a call.

Speaker 2 (04:56):
An update US good luckily, I will for sure.

Speaker 4 (04:58):
Thank you.