April 24, 2025 • 14 mins
Ask Uncut is back and Sarah has made a mum friend but their kids do NOT get along. Britt had a VERY important question for her nephew (it didn't quite go to plan) and would you use a dating app if you couldn't see who you were dating?
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:10):
My Heart podcasts, hear more Kiss podcast playlist, and listen
live on the Free iHeart app.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
A pickup with Britt Hockley and Laura Burn.
Speaker 3 (00:22):
Brady, your work, our windows down, that's my world.
Speaker 4 (00:26):
Reason the dust only good, bab Doug all down.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
I don't much, but yeah I'm not.
Speaker 3 (00:33):
I'll big get and what I want.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
It don't matter where done.
Speaker 1 (00:37):
This is the pickup, Hi, guys, It's the pick up
with Britt Hockley and Laura Burn.
Speaker 4 (00:42):
And it's the end of the week already. Is this
literally the shortest week of the year.
Speaker 2 (00:46):
I think it is.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
Hi for anyone who didn't take these like three days off,
I feel like we're all chumps.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
I say this because I am also a chump. We
are also at work.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
But this long weekend holiday Easter Holiday into end Zac Holiday,
it feels like it's the holiday that never ended. And
some kids are in school holidays and some kids are
back at school. I just think, like, just take it off.
Speaker 4 (01:05):
I love the idea that we've bookended public holiday, but
it does feel unnecessary to come back for three days.
I think a lot of people are calling in sick.
I think a lot of people go to their bosses
and say, hey, can I book annually? Their bosses say
that chance, and they're like, cool, I'm going to call
in sick. Anyway, we may as.
Speaker 3 (01:20):
Well make it a week long holidays.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
Those three days are the smartest three days to take
your annual holidays in. Like, surely bosses are not rejecting
that type of holiday unless you've already taken heaps of it.
Surely there are that many bosses out there that are
rejecting those three days and saying no, you've got to
come in.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
Someone has to work.
Speaker 4 (01:37):
Every employee can't come and ask for the same week off,
then there's no one at work.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
That's true.
Speaker 4 (01:42):
I imagine if your people came, like at Tony May
your shop, and they all came and said, well, it
makes sense, give us the week off to you.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
Never a lot of them did, though a lot of
them have taken off. But I think in those situations,
it's a first in best dress. So if like half
the officers or it was smart enough to get themselves organized,
then I'm kind of like fair play game on.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
But not everyone can do it.
Speaker 1 (02:02):
So yeah, my heart goes out to all the people
who worn't smart enough. Aka Brittany and I to ask
for these three days off, and here we are now
asking kind of something we do on life funk Up
podcast every week where we answer You're deep, You're duck,
and your burning questions. So if you have a dilemma,
give us a call and you might get through. We
have Sarah on the line, and Sarah is a mum
who is having a little bit of trouble, not with
(02:23):
the friend that she's made, but with the kids.
Speaker 2 (02:25):
Sarah, what's going on?
Speaker 5 (02:27):
Hi, girls, I've finally made a mum friend. Our little
kids go to school together. We have the same interest,
the same value in our parenting. However, unfortunately it's our
younger children that when we get together, they just clash
and they're just constantly fighting.
Speaker 1 (02:46):
So you are worried that you can't be friends, or
you like, is it possibly? Like what's the what are
you wanting to do with it?
Speaker 5 (02:53):
So we are friends, However, I just find that when
we go to catch up, I'm like, oh, it's going
to be a bit dousing. You know, likes constantly the
younger ones apart.
Speaker 1 (03:05):
I feel for you, Sarah, because it's it's actually so hard,
not only just like when you're a mum, and you're
trying to find someone who parents in a similar way,
has similar parenting values. I think a really big part
of it being like enjoyable for the both of you
is that your kids have to get along as well.
Like it's so hard to find that magic mix. My
thing is is like, of course you can be friends,
but you might find the overtime the friendship becomes hard
(03:28):
because the kids make it hard, do you know what
I mean?
Speaker 4 (03:30):
But can you not be friends outside of the kids,
like you, I don't know if you guys have supportive
families or partners or babysitters, but you can definitely have
adult friends where you meet them for an early dinner
or a wine or like, it doesn't always have to
be involved with the kid dates.
Speaker 5 (03:45):
Right, Yeah, maybe a mix of both.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
Yeah, I mean you can always do a mix. But
but it's hard, brit Like, I mean, I know for me,
with the friends that I have who are mums that
we hang out and they've got kids similar age, you
really want to find friends where your kids also get along,
because it just means that they can run off and
play and you actually get to have an adult conversation.
Otherwise you spend the whole time catching up with this
person that you want to hang out with, but you're
(04:10):
just fighting fires because your kids are screaming at each
other or having fired or like someone's breaking something like Okay,
is it just like both kids in general are tricky
or do you feel that there's like a one sided
trickiness that's going on.
Speaker 5 (04:21):
I think they're just both similar personalities. So they're both
like sort of stubborn, Whereas like my oldest son, he
would normally give in and be like, Okay, you're gonna
have the toy and my daughter, whereas my daughter's strong
willed and she's at no way, I'm not giving into this.
How old are they they're three. My daughter's three and
her daughter's four, so a little bit of an age gap.
But they're just both similar personalities.
Speaker 1 (04:41):
I think, you know what, though, they might actually get
better the more time they spend together, Like the more
we're out of it, Yeah, the more exposure they have
with each other, and the more that they start to
realize that this isn't something that they get to opt
in on. That they're gonna you know, they're going to
be spending time playing together. They're going to see more
of each other. You might find that they have their
own little friendship that develops as well. I think that
stuff can take time, but.
Speaker 4 (04:59):
Our advice is exposure therapy, just like throw them in,
let them more lines for.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
You and the other mom.
Speaker 5 (05:05):
Yeah, definitely persist through it. Do you think I see.
Speaker 3 (05:08):
To sacrifice a friend.
Speaker 4 (05:10):
I just think even if she does become a friend
that's not a kid date friend, and you get to
see it once a fortnite for a catch up, maybe
you're going.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
For a walk together, whatever it is.
Speaker 4 (05:18):
It is really hard to meet people as adults that
you connect with and you want to spend time with.
So I do think that sometimes you need to try
and make yourself a priority. And I know I'm not
a mum, but I know all of my friends that
are moms don't prioritize themselves. It's a part of being
a mum, like there's always someone or something else more important.
But at the end of the day, you do need
to do some things for you too. If you've found
(05:39):
someone that you enjoy spending time with and you know
that's rare for you, I don't think you need to
give it up just because your kids want to reap
each other's hair out.
Speaker 5 (05:46):
Yeah, definitely, Sarah.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
Thanks so much for the call, And for anyone who
wants any advice next week, please go and enter your
ask uncut on the wind page. We might get you
on as well to answer your questions stuff being a
parent it is, thanks Sarah. It's actually so hard and
like it really is, trying to find the right mix
of like a friend who you get along with and
you vibe with, but also your kids get along impossible.
Speaker 4 (06:10):
So in case you guys have missed it, I am
getting married.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
No, no one has missed it, Britt.
Speaker 1 (06:16):
I just want to I want to let you know everyone,
everyone who listens to the show and loves the show
and knows you know.
Speaker 2 (06:22):
We know, we're all so happy for you. But no
one missed it.
Speaker 4 (06:25):
The wedding is getting very very close, and I had
a bit of a family get together on the weekend,
and like I'd planned all the roles for everybody without
actually speaking to them, you know, like how I'm like, okay,
so the groom's been will bit the end, and then
I'll have a flower girl and then I'm gonna have
my nephew come down and then so I had everything
planned in my head.
Speaker 3 (06:43):
I finally see my nephew.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
He's seven.
Speaker 4 (06:46):
He's a great little kid, and I'm like, hey, Parky
and he's like yeah. And I was like so excited
thinking that he's going to be so toughed. And I
was like, how would you like to have the most
important role? I was like, you're gonna dress up and
you're gonna walk down with your cousin. You're gonna hold
his hand, and you're gonna be holding some really important
things and then when you get down to the end,
(07:06):
you're going to hand them to Uncle Ben.
Speaker 3 (07:08):
Like I made this whole big thing. I was like,
it's the most important role.
Speaker 2 (07:12):
Of the day. So he was the ring bearer? Is
that what you were asking him?
Speaker 4 (07:15):
Well? Yeah, but I'm giving him multiple jobs, so he's
not just the ring bearer.
Speaker 2 (07:18):
He's like doing a couple of things.
Speaker 3 (07:19):
Anyway.
Speaker 2 (07:20):
I was like, so what do you think?
Speaker 4 (07:21):
And I was expecting him to like hug me and
like be like, oh, that's so fun and Dead.
Speaker 3 (07:27):
Qui and all the families around Dead Qui and he
looks up he's like, you know what, No thank you, dude.
Speaker 2 (07:38):
And I said, I said, so what. He's like, no,
thank you? And I said Oh.
Speaker 4 (07:42):
In my head, I was like, does he understand that
was a rhetorical question, like he's doing it.
Speaker 3 (07:46):
I was like, what do you mean. No, He's like
it's it's okay, but thanks for asking.
Speaker 2 (07:50):
And he's a kid.
Speaker 1 (07:51):
This is a kid who has been taught how to
set good boundaries and I'm all for that. He's like, Brittany, Annie, Brittany,
this is a boundary. And I don't want to be
your ring bearer because that sounds like a shitty job.
I'm not walking down holding my cousin's hand.
Speaker 3 (08:03):
And his mom was like, Parker, you're doing it.
Speaker 2 (08:06):
And he's like, oh, did he if you were a
reason as to why you didn't want to do it?
Did he say what? No, he didn't.
Speaker 3 (08:12):
And he was so polite. It was just like saying, hey,
are you hungry? To you on some chicken?
Speaker 4 (08:16):
He was like no, thanks, Like that was it anyway.
He came around at the end, but I just thought
it was so funny. I was like, I can't force
a kid, but I will bribe him.
Speaker 1 (08:24):
Also, what do you do on the day if a
kid gets stage fright? All they changed their mind.
Speaker 3 (08:28):
Because oh, we had to not make him.
Speaker 1 (08:30):
We had so many kids in our wedding, all of
like the nieces and nephews were there, like my kids.
And at the time, Maley was three and Lola was two,
And that's a pretty big responsibility for a three year
old and a two year old to walk down the
aisle and be the flower girls.
Speaker 2 (08:44):
And I will never forget.
Speaker 1 (08:45):
I was sitting in the car so like my like
the car that I was in had pulled up, and
my sister had gotten out with all the children.
Speaker 2 (08:52):
So she had three for five, six seven.
Speaker 1 (08:54):
She had seven kids, two of them under two, and
most of them were walking down the island.
Speaker 2 (08:59):
She was kind of middle of the pack with these kids.
And I'm looking from the car window and I just
see Lola. She just veers off to the right. She's
walking away. I think she saw a dark or something
and she just starts walking.
Speaker 1 (09:11):
I'm yelling from the car for someone to get Lola,
and then half the guests turned around there to me,
there's me.
Speaker 2 (09:17):
Hanging out the window being.
Speaker 3 (09:18):
Like, get La, La.
Speaker 2 (09:21):
You can't trust him. You can't trust kids. They say,
don't wait with kids or animals or both.
Speaker 3 (09:25):
It's one of those.
Speaker 4 (09:26):
Things where on the day you just have to accept
that if there's a child that's upset or doesn't want
to do it, then they don't do it.
Speaker 2 (09:31):
And I'm absolutely not going to make him.
Speaker 4 (09:33):
But it is big into football, like soccer, and I
did have to pull out the bribes, and I said
that Uncle Ben will teach him some football stuff if
he can make it down the end safely. So I
don't know if that makes me bad Auntie, I don't know,
but I think we've got him there.
Speaker 1 (09:47):
I mean, you're a parent that's like reached nirvana if
you don't use bribery on your kids.
Speaker 2 (09:51):
That's what I've realized.
Speaker 1 (09:52):
It's kind of like it's number one is nice and
number two is bribes, and then number three is telling
them that they're doing it. That's pretty much all you've got.
I It is not a new thing that most people
who are dating have used online dating apps Think Tinder,
think Bumble.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
The criticism that's come with a lot of online dating.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
Apps is that even though most apps are trying to
kind of encourage things like fill.
Speaker 2 (10:17):
Out your bio, answer questions.
Speaker 1 (10:19):
About yourself add more value, people still seem to get
caught up in looking at the pictures and making their
decisions based on the way someone looks over the person
that someone actually is on a dating.
Speaker 4 (10:29):
App, which of course they're going to do that. That's
like the first thing you're gonna look at. Whether you
say you're not superficial, whether you say looks don't matter,
Like when you are faced with a written bio and
a picture of something, you're always gonna look at the person.
Speaker 2 (10:40):
And I've done every app. I shouldn't say every app.
Speaker 4 (10:42):
It in gone Grinder, but I've done most of the
mainstream dating app Don't get me wrong.
Speaker 1 (10:47):
I think that there are loads of people who are
not superficially in their dating, Like I think that there
are loads of people who don't have a specific type
who date outside the box, et cetera. But you will
be swayed when you do see a photo because I
think the thing is is like, if you want to
go into dating unbiased, the only way to do it
is to not have any clue what that person looks like,
so that you're not swayed at all by their physical attractiveness. Now,
(11:10):
we've seen TV shows like Love is Blind or even
Love Triangle, which is on stand. For anyone who doesn't
know what Love is Blind, is you match with someone
and you grow a connection with them, but you don't
actually see what they look like. So you choose the
person that you want to be with based on the
fact that you have chemistry and connection and shared values
and all this sort of stuff, but you have no
clue what they look like until you've committed. Well, there
(11:33):
is a new dating app that's come out, and it's
called Tribal. It's been created by a psychologist, and the
reason for this is basically the same premise. You go
on there, you match, you chat, you share what you're
looking for, your values, everything else, but you cannot see
the person's photos for seventy two hours.
Speaker 4 (11:50):
I think seventy two hours is the perfect amount.
Speaker 1 (11:51):
Well, seventy two hours is a good amount of time
to know if you've got banter with someone, Yeah, and
know if you've got chemistry with someone.
Speaker 3 (11:57):
You're not too deep that you can't divorce them.
Speaker 2 (11:59):
You're not married. Yeah, it's not a marrit at first
site situation.
Speaker 4 (12:02):
But then it gets a bit awkward, right, If you've
got seventy two hours of like proper banter, it's going
really really well. When you release each other's faces and
for some reason you really are not physically into it
at all and you do want to call it quits.
That's an awkward conversation.
Speaker 2 (12:17):
Okay, But here's the kicker, right.
Speaker 1 (12:18):
I think that it's a pretty good litmus as to
how superficial you might be or how much you prioritize
looks in your dating and in your relationships, because if
you're having these great connections with people and then you're
matching with them, and then you're seeing their photos and
afterwards you're like, hmm, not even going to entertain a date,
like if that seems to be your predetermined preset or
like over and over and over again, I'd be like,
(12:41):
maybe you need to date outside the box and try
someone that isn't your quote unquote classic type, because there
might be a reason why the relationships aren't working out.
Your type might not be a good type for you.
Your type might be an asshole. We've all been there,
we've all done it. I had a type once one
a time as well.
Speaker 2 (12:53):
I do think it'll stop.
Speaker 4 (12:54):
The gamification though of dating and I think of dating apps, sorry,
And I think it will increase more intentional dating because
it's sometimes you go on dating apps for the validation,
like you want to go on. You want to say, oh,
these I've matched with all these hot people.
Speaker 3 (13:06):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:07):
You to feel confidence, you feel.
Speaker 3 (13:09):
Good about yourself.
Speaker 4 (13:10):
You get to chat to a hot person briefly, whatever,
someone you know, subjective that you think is hot. But
in this it has to be more intentional because you're
only going on there to put the effort in. You
have to have the connection. You have to have the
banter before you discover who are If you were dating,
would you try and app like this, Yeah, I would,
but just for the content, probably to bring it to
you here.
Speaker 1 (13:27):
Really I reckon I would not just for content. I
would happily try it. I think I definitely got to
a place in my online dating where I didn't trust
my ability to make good judgments on people. So if
I could match with someone and have like good bantering
chemistry with them, I think it would have gone a
long way.
Speaker 2 (13:41):
Also, a guy who can make you laugh, Oh, that's it,
that's all most women want.
Speaker 3 (13:47):
Nah, that's a lie.
Speaker 4 (13:47):
People say that there's plenty of people that can make
you laugh that are not good catchers. Like, there's definitely
more to that, but of course personality is everything. I
would one hundred percent try this because I was exasperated
by the online dating community. I was on there for
so long that it was just the same people in there.
I was seeing the same people on there, which means
they were seeing me as well for like eight years.
Speaker 2 (14:10):
She is again, Yeah she's back.
Speaker 3 (14:12):
But I was like that.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
I was like, oh, here he is again.
Speaker 3 (14:14):
You actually get to know these strangers.
Speaker 2 (14:16):
But don't in your area.
Speaker 1 (14:17):
Yeah, totally. Don't you update your profile photo though. So
it's different because that's the thing. I remember being on
the dating apps for a long time, and it would
be the people whose profile I.
Speaker 2 (14:25):
Know you too well.
Speaker 4 (14:26):
Doesn't matter if your updated profile, you know, you know,
it's an updated profile.
Speaker 1 (14:29):
Alright, Look, guys, if you were in the trenches of dating,
this might be an app that you want to give
it a try. It's called tribal I think I wish
I thought of that. Yeah, I mean, yeah, I wish
I thought of a lot of apps put it that way.
My Heart podcasts, hear more Kiss podcast playlist, and listen
live on the Free iHeart app.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
A pickup with Britt Hockley and Laura Burn.
Speaker 3 (00:22):
Brady, your work, our windows down, that's my world.
Speaker 4 (00:26):
Reason the dust only good, bab Doug all down.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
I don't much, but yeah I'm not.
Speaker 3 (00:33):
I'll big get and what I want.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
It don't matter where done.
Speaker 1 (00:37):
This is the pickup, Hi, guys, It's the pick up
with Britt Hockley and Laura Burn.
Speaker 4 (00:42):
And it's the end of the week already. Is this
literally the shortest week of the year.
Speaker 2 (00:46):
I think it is.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
Hi for anyone who didn't take these like three days off,
I feel like we're all chumps.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
I say this because I am also a chump. We
are also at work.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
But this long weekend holiday Easter Holiday into end Zac Holiday,
it feels like it's the holiday that never ended. And
some kids are in school holidays and some kids are
back at school. I just think, like, just take it off.
Speaker 4 (01:05):
I love the idea that we've bookended public holiday, but
it does feel unnecessary to come back for three days.
I think a lot of people are calling in sick.
I think a lot of people go to their bosses
and say, hey, can I book annually? Their bosses say
that chance, and they're like, cool, I'm going to call
in sick. Anyway, we may as.
Speaker 3 (01:20):
Well make it a week long holidays.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
Those three days are the smartest three days to take
your annual holidays in. Like, surely bosses are not rejecting
that type of holiday unless you've already taken heaps of it.
Surely there are that many bosses out there that are
rejecting those three days and saying no, you've got to
come in.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
Someone has to work.
Speaker 4 (01:37):
Every employee can't come and ask for the same week off,
then there's no one at work.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
That's true.
Speaker 4 (01:42):
I imagine if your people came, like at Tony May
your shop, and they all came and said, well, it
makes sense, give us the week off to you.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
Never a lot of them did, though a lot of
them have taken off. But I think in those situations,
it's a first in best dress. So if like half
the officers or it was smart enough to get themselves organized,
then I'm kind of like fair play game on.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
But not everyone can do it.
Speaker 1 (02:02):
So yeah, my heart goes out to all the people
who worn't smart enough. Aka Brittany and I to ask
for these three days off, and here we are now
asking kind of something we do on life funk Up
podcast every week where we answer You're deep, You're duck,
and your burning questions. So if you have a dilemma,
give us a call and you might get through. We
have Sarah on the line, and Sarah is a mum
who is having a little bit of trouble, not with
(02:23):
the friend that she's made, but with the kids.
Speaker 2 (02:25):
Sarah, what's going on?
Speaker 5 (02:27):
Hi, girls, I've finally made a mum friend. Our little
kids go to school together. We have the same interest,
the same value in our parenting. However, unfortunately it's our
younger children that when we get together, they just clash
and they're just constantly fighting.
Speaker 1 (02:46):
So you are worried that you can't be friends, or
you like, is it possibly? Like what's the what are
you wanting to do with it?
Speaker 5 (02:53):
So we are friends, However, I just find that when
we go to catch up, I'm like, oh, it's going
to be a bit dousing. You know, likes constantly the
younger ones apart.
Speaker 1 (03:05):
I feel for you, Sarah, because it's it's actually so hard,
not only just like when you're a mum, and you're
trying to find someone who parents in a similar way,
has similar parenting values. I think a really big part
of it being like enjoyable for the both of you
is that your kids have to get along as well.
Like it's so hard to find that magic mix. My
thing is is like, of course you can be friends,
but you might find the overtime the friendship becomes hard
(03:28):
because the kids make it hard, do you know what
I mean?
Speaker 4 (03:30):
But can you not be friends outside of the kids,
like you, I don't know if you guys have supportive
families or partners or babysitters, but you can definitely have
adult friends where you meet them for an early dinner
or a wine or like, it doesn't always have to
be involved with the kid dates.
Speaker 5 (03:45):
Right, Yeah, maybe a mix of both.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
Yeah, I mean you can always do a mix. But
but it's hard, brit Like, I mean, I know for me,
with the friends that I have who are mums that
we hang out and they've got kids similar age, you
really want to find friends where your kids also get along,
because it just means that they can run off and
play and you actually get to have an adult conversation.
Otherwise you spend the whole time catching up with this
person that you want to hang out with, but you're
(04:10):
just fighting fires because your kids are screaming at each
other or having fired or like someone's breaking something like Okay,
is it just like both kids in general are tricky
or do you feel that there's like a one sided
trickiness that's going on.
Speaker 5 (04:21):
I think they're just both similar personalities. So they're both
like sort of stubborn, Whereas like my oldest son, he
would normally give in and be like, Okay, you're gonna
have the toy and my daughter, whereas my daughter's strong
willed and she's at no way, I'm not giving into this.
How old are they they're three. My daughter's three and
her daughter's four, so a little bit of an age gap.
But they're just both similar personalities.
Speaker 1 (04:41):
I think, you know what, though, they might actually get
better the more time they spend together, Like the more
we're out of it, Yeah, the more exposure they have
with each other, and the more that they start to
realize that this isn't something that they get to opt
in on. That they're gonna you know, they're going to
be spending time playing together. They're going to see more
of each other. You might find that they have their
own little friendship that develops as well. I think that
stuff can take time, but.
Speaker 4 (04:59):
Our advice is exposure therapy, just like throw them in,
let them more lines for.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
You and the other mom.
Speaker 5 (05:05):
Yeah, definitely persist through it. Do you think I see.
Speaker 3 (05:08):
To sacrifice a friend.
Speaker 4 (05:10):
I just think even if she does become a friend
that's not a kid date friend, and you get to
see it once a fortnite for a catch up, maybe
you're going.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
For a walk together, whatever it is.
Speaker 4 (05:18):
It is really hard to meet people as adults that
you connect with and you want to spend time with.
So I do think that sometimes you need to try
and make yourself a priority. And I know I'm not
a mum, but I know all of my friends that
are moms don't prioritize themselves. It's a part of being
a mum, like there's always someone or something else more important.
But at the end of the day, you do need
to do some things for you too. If you've found
(05:39):
someone that you enjoy spending time with and you know
that's rare for you, I don't think you need to
give it up just because your kids want to reap
each other's hair out.
Speaker 5 (05:46):
Yeah, definitely, Sarah.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
Thanks so much for the call, And for anyone who
wants any advice next week, please go and enter your
ask uncut on the wind page. We might get you
on as well to answer your questions stuff being a
parent it is, thanks Sarah. It's actually so hard and
like it really is, trying to find the right mix
of like a friend who you get along with and
you vibe with, but also your kids get along impossible.
Speaker 4 (06:10):
So in case you guys have missed it, I am
getting married.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
No, no one has missed it, Britt.
Speaker 1 (06:16):
I just want to I want to let you know everyone,
everyone who listens to the show and loves the show
and knows you know.
Speaker 2 (06:22):
We know, we're all so happy for you. But no
one missed it.
Speaker 4 (06:25):
The wedding is getting very very close, and I had
a bit of a family get together on the weekend,
and like I'd planned all the roles for everybody without
actually speaking to them, you know, like how I'm like, okay,
so the groom's been will bit the end, and then
I'll have a flower girl and then I'm gonna have
my nephew come down and then so I had everything
planned in my head.
Speaker 3 (06:43):
I finally see my nephew.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
He's seven.
Speaker 4 (06:46):
He's a great little kid, and I'm like, hey, Parky
and he's like yeah. And I was like so excited
thinking that he's going to be so toughed. And I
was like, how would you like to have the most
important role? I was like, you're gonna dress up and
you're gonna walk down with your cousin. You're gonna hold
his hand, and you're gonna be holding some really important
things and then when you get down to the end,
(07:06):
you're going to hand them to Uncle Ben.
Speaker 3 (07:08):
Like I made this whole big thing. I was like,
it's the most important role.
Speaker 2 (07:12):
Of the day. So he was the ring bearer? Is
that what you were asking him?
Speaker 4 (07:15):
Well? Yeah, but I'm giving him multiple jobs, so he's
not just the ring bearer.
Speaker 2 (07:18):
He's like doing a couple of things.
Speaker 3 (07:19):
Anyway.
Speaker 2 (07:20):
I was like, so what do you think?
Speaker 4 (07:21):
And I was expecting him to like hug me and
like be like, oh, that's so fun and Dead.
Speaker 3 (07:27):
Qui and all the families around Dead Qui and he
looks up he's like, you know what, No thank you, dude.
Speaker 2 (07:38):
And I said, I said, so what. He's like, no,
thank you? And I said Oh.
Speaker 4 (07:42):
In my head, I was like, does he understand that
was a rhetorical question, like he's doing it.
Speaker 3 (07:46):
I was like, what do you mean. No, He's like
it's it's okay, but thanks for asking.
Speaker 2 (07:50):
And he's a kid.
Speaker 1 (07:51):
This is a kid who has been taught how to
set good boundaries and I'm all for that. He's like, Brittany, Annie, Brittany,
this is a boundary. And I don't want to be
your ring bearer because that sounds like a shitty job.
I'm not walking down holding my cousin's hand.
Speaker 3 (08:03):
And his mom was like, Parker, you're doing it.
Speaker 2 (08:06):
And he's like, oh, did he if you were a
reason as to why you didn't want to do it?
Did he say what? No, he didn't.
Speaker 3 (08:12):
And he was so polite. It was just like saying, hey,
are you hungry? To you on some chicken?
Speaker 4 (08:16):
He was like no, thanks, Like that was it anyway.
He came around at the end, but I just thought
it was so funny. I was like, I can't force
a kid, but I will bribe him.
Speaker 1 (08:24):
Also, what do you do on the day if a
kid gets stage fright? All they changed their mind.
Speaker 3 (08:28):
Because oh, we had to not make him.
Speaker 1 (08:30):
We had so many kids in our wedding, all of
like the nieces and nephews were there, like my kids.
And at the time, Maley was three and Lola was two,
And that's a pretty big responsibility for a three year
old and a two year old to walk down the
aisle and be the flower girls.
Speaker 2 (08:44):
And I will never forget.
Speaker 1 (08:45):
I was sitting in the car so like my like
the car that I was in had pulled up, and
my sister had gotten out with all the children.
Speaker 2 (08:52):
So she had three for five, six seven.
Speaker 1 (08:54):
She had seven kids, two of them under two, and
most of them were walking down the island.
Speaker 2 (08:59):
She was kind of middle of the pack with these kids.
And I'm looking from the car window and I just
see Lola. She just veers off to the right. She's
walking away. I think she saw a dark or something
and she just starts walking.
Speaker 1 (09:11):
I'm yelling from the car for someone to get Lola,
and then half the guests turned around there to me,
there's me.
Speaker 2 (09:17):
Hanging out the window being.
Speaker 3 (09:18):
Like, get La, La.
Speaker 2 (09:21):
You can't trust him. You can't trust kids. They say,
don't wait with kids or animals or both.
Speaker 3 (09:25):
It's one of those.
Speaker 4 (09:26):
Things where on the day you just have to accept
that if there's a child that's upset or doesn't want
to do it, then they don't do it.
Speaker 2 (09:31):
And I'm absolutely not going to make him.
Speaker 4 (09:33):
But it is big into football, like soccer, and I
did have to pull out the bribes, and I said
that Uncle Ben will teach him some football stuff if
he can make it down the end safely. So I
don't know if that makes me bad Auntie, I don't know,
but I think we've got him there.
Speaker 1 (09:47):
I mean, you're a parent that's like reached nirvana if
you don't use bribery on your kids.
Speaker 2 (09:51):
That's what I've realized.
Speaker 1 (09:52):
It's kind of like it's number one is nice and
number two is bribes, and then number three is telling
them that they're doing it. That's pretty much all you've got.
I It is not a new thing that most people
who are dating have used online dating apps Think Tinder,
think Bumble.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
The criticism that's come with a lot of online dating.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
Apps is that even though most apps are trying to
kind of encourage things like fill.
Speaker 2 (10:17):
Out your bio, answer questions.
Speaker 1 (10:19):
About yourself add more value, people still seem to get
caught up in looking at the pictures and making their
decisions based on the way someone looks over the person
that someone actually is on a dating.
Speaker 4 (10:29):
App, which of course they're going to do that. That's
like the first thing you're gonna look at. Whether you
say you're not superficial, whether you say looks don't matter,
Like when you are faced with a written bio and
a picture of something, you're always gonna look at the person.
Speaker 2 (10:40):
And I've done every app. I shouldn't say every app.
Speaker 4 (10:42):
It in gone Grinder, but I've done most of the
mainstream dating app Don't get me wrong.
Speaker 1 (10:47):
I think that there are loads of people who are
not superficially in their dating, Like I think that there
are loads of people who don't have a specific type
who date outside the box, et cetera. But you will
be swayed when you do see a photo because I
think the thing is is like, if you want to
go into dating unbiased, the only way to do it
is to not have any clue what that person looks like,
so that you're not swayed at all by their physical attractiveness. Now,
(11:10):
we've seen TV shows like Love is Blind or even
Love Triangle, which is on stand. For anyone who doesn't
know what Love is Blind, is you match with someone
and you grow a connection with them, but you don't
actually see what they look like. So you choose the
person that you want to be with based on the
fact that you have chemistry and connection and shared values
and all this sort of stuff, but you have no
clue what they look like until you've committed. Well, there
(11:33):
is a new dating app that's come out, and it's
called Tribal. It's been created by a psychologist, and the
reason for this is basically the same premise. You go
on there, you match, you chat, you share what you're
looking for, your values, everything else, but you cannot see
the person's photos for seventy two hours.
Speaker 4 (11:50):
I think seventy two hours is the perfect amount.
Speaker 1 (11:51):
Well, seventy two hours is a good amount of time
to know if you've got banter with someone, Yeah, and
know if you've got chemistry with someone.
Speaker 3 (11:57):
You're not too deep that you can't divorce them.
Speaker 2 (11:59):
You're not married. Yeah, it's not a marrit at first
site situation.
Speaker 4 (12:02):
But then it gets a bit awkward, right, If you've
got seventy two hours of like proper banter, it's going
really really well. When you release each other's faces and
for some reason you really are not physically into it
at all and you do want to call it quits.
That's an awkward conversation.
Speaker 2 (12:17):
Okay, But here's the kicker, right.
Speaker 1 (12:18):
I think that it's a pretty good litmus as to
how superficial you might be or how much you prioritize
looks in your dating and in your relationships, because if
you're having these great connections with people and then you're
matching with them, and then you're seeing their photos and
afterwards you're like, hmm, not even going to entertain a date,
like if that seems to be your predetermined preset or
like over and over and over again, I'd be like,
(12:41):
maybe you need to date outside the box and try
someone that isn't your quote unquote classic type, because there
might be a reason why the relationships aren't working out.
Your type might not be a good type for you.
Your type might be an asshole. We've all been there,
we've all done it. I had a type once one
a time as well.
Speaker 2 (12:53):
I do think it'll stop.
Speaker 4 (12:54):
The gamification though of dating and I think of dating apps, sorry,
And I think it will increase more intentional dating because
it's sometimes you go on dating apps for the validation,
like you want to go on. You want to say, oh,
these I've matched with all these hot people.
Speaker 3 (13:06):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:07):
You to feel confidence, you feel.
Speaker 3 (13:09):
Good about yourself.
Speaker 4 (13:10):
You get to chat to a hot person briefly, whatever,
someone you know, subjective that you think is hot. But
in this it has to be more intentional because you're
only going on there to put the effort in. You
have to have the connection. You have to have the
banter before you discover who are If you were dating,
would you try and app like this, Yeah, I would,
but just for the content, probably to bring it to
you here.
Speaker 1 (13:27):
Really I reckon I would not just for content. I
would happily try it. I think I definitely got to
a place in my online dating where I didn't trust
my ability to make good judgments on people. So if
I could match with someone and have like good bantering
chemistry with them, I think it would have gone a
long way.
Speaker 2 (13:41):
Also, a guy who can make you laugh, Oh, that's it,
that's all most women want.
Speaker 3 (13:47):
Nah, that's a lie.
Speaker 4 (13:47):
People say that there's plenty of people that can make
you laugh that are not good catchers. Like, there's definitely
more to that, but of course personality is everything. I
would one hundred percent try this because I was exasperated
by the online dating community. I was on there for
so long that it was just the same people in there.
I was seeing the same people on there, which means
they were seeing me as well for like eight years.
Speaker 2 (14:10):
She is again, Yeah she's back.
Speaker 3 (14:12):
But I was like that.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
I was like, oh, here he is again.
Speaker 3 (14:14):
You actually get to know these strangers.
Speaker 2 (14:16):
But don't in your area.
Speaker 1 (14:17):
Yeah, totally. Don't you update your profile photo though. So
it's different because that's the thing. I remember being on
the dating apps for a long time, and it would
be the people whose profile I.
Speaker 2 (14:25):
Know you too well.
Speaker 4 (14:26):
Doesn't matter if your updated profile, you know, you know,
it's an updated profile.
Speaker 1 (14:29):
Alright, Look, guys, if you were in the trenches of dating,
this might be an app that you want to give
it a try. It's called tribal I think I wish
I thought of that. Yeah, I mean, yeah, I wish
I thought of a lot of apps put it that way.
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