August 25, 2025 • 15 mins
Laura's Surprise Baby Shower was over the weekend, there's a new dating term called Shrekking and new research shows scrolling on your phone is actually great for you.
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Speaker 1 (00:10):
I heard podcasts, hear more Kiss podcast playlist and listen
live on the Free iHeart APPIU.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
With Britt Hockley and Laura Burn.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
Brady or what Our Windows down?
Speaker 3 (00:26):
My World?
Speaker 2 (00:26):
Reason the dust only good, tab Dog all down?
Speaker 4 (00:30):
I don't much, but yeah, I know I'll beg get
and what I want. It don't matter where that gone.
This is the pickup PI.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
Guys, welcome back to Monday. It's the pick Up with
Brett Hockey and Laura Burn and a small child.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
That's kicking me in the root page.
Speaker 4 (00:46):
Do you look very uncomfortable? It's like you need to fight,
or like there's a baby.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
No, there's no well, actually maybe no one wants to
hear about that.
Speaker 3 (00:54):
No.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
I just had this one moment, literally as we're about
to get on air, and I just got kicked straight
into a lung or into like.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
My I don't even know my diaphragm. It really hurts.
Speaker 1 (01:04):
Okay, if this is surprising to anyone, I'm very pregnant
and it's kicking me really hard.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
What months? Yeah, kick it back, I say, joking. How's
your weekend, Brier?
Speaker 4 (01:14):
Oh, it was actually the best weekend ever.
Speaker 3 (01:16):
It was my birthday weekend so I went up to
the Gold Coast to hang out with a couple of
friends and my sister and my knees and stuff. But
the best thing that could have happened to me happened,
like the best present I could have got. What was
the best counts because she's six. But anyway, my friend's
little girl came over and we had like a little
cake and party and stuff. And she's six years old.
And my friend said to her, Hey, Mace, how old
(01:39):
do you think any Brittany's turning? And in my head,
I thought, oh, this could go one of two ways.
Speaker 4 (01:45):
Eighteen.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
Yeah, I don't think i'd take what a six year
old she's.
Speaker 4 (01:48):
I'm taking it. I am taking it.
Speaker 2 (01:50):
I don't think i'd hang my hat on a six
year old's opinion on me.
Speaker 3 (01:53):
I said, Macy, say less, say less.
Speaker 4 (01:55):
That is a full center.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
That's enough.
Speaker 1 (01:57):
Do you know what though, you did skip town on
the weekend, and it means that you also skipped my
baby shower.
Speaker 2 (02:02):
But I didn't know what was happening.
Speaker 4 (02:03):
Yes I had.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
I was surprised with the baby shower over the weekend,
and it was amazing, But also I don't know how
I feel about surprises and I want to talk about
it next. Okay, so this weekend I had a baby shower.
So if you're like, yay, if you're not across this,
I am about four and a half weeks of having
a baby. I currently have a foot sticking into my lung.
(02:27):
I'm pretty sure I'm very close to having a baby.
And it's my number three, so like, it's not my
first rodeo. I've got a couple of kids already old news.
It's just a bit old and boring, Like, does anyone care?
Speaker 2 (02:38):
Probably not.
Speaker 3 (02:39):
So.
Speaker 2 (02:39):
My sister in law.
Speaker 1 (02:40):
Who I absolutely adore, Kate, she came to me the
other about two months ago and she was like, we're
gonna have a baby shower, right.
Speaker 2 (02:48):
I don't know if other people feel differently than this,
but I don't.
Speaker 1 (02:50):
Think you have a baby shower when you've got that
many kids. I think baby showers exclusively for like one.
Speaker 2 (02:55):
Maybe two. I don't know.
Speaker 3 (02:56):
I don't even think i'd have a baby shower for
my first one. But I'm a weirdo like that. Yeah,
I'm not a partier for myself, no, but for myself,
Like I don't Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 4 (03:05):
I feel weird about parties.
Speaker 1 (03:06):
Well, I think usually other people organize baby showers for you.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
It's kind of like organizing your own hens, you know.
BRIT's like I did that.
Speaker 4 (03:11):
I did that as well.
Speaker 1 (03:14):
But they asked me what I wanted to do, and
I was like, no, I don't want to do anything.
We've got all this stuff. I've already had two of them, Like,
no one cares. It's just like and also would anyone
even show up? Why would they? They're like, oh, Laura's
done that again. It just felt like a lot of
effort at this late in the pregnancy. And Kate, so
Matt's sister, was like, no, like you need to do something.
(03:35):
You need to have a girl's lunch.
Speaker 3 (03:36):
Now.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
The thing is Kate has three kids, and she was like,
your life is over. It's not a celebration, it's a commiseration.
You just need to enjoy yourself one last time.
Speaker 4 (03:45):
It's like a what's it called awake.
Speaker 2 (03:47):
Yes for my former self.
Speaker 1 (03:49):
So that was the last time we spoke about it.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
I said absolutely not.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
Anyway, hadn't thought about it again since that was months ago.
On the weekend just passed my husband, Matt. He had
said to me that he was going to take me
out for a nice lunch to just the two of us,
because he was you know, the way he set this
up was that he was like, I really want us
to just spend some quality time to get before the
baby comes. We're just gonna go out for lunch together. Now,
preceding this, we just had a great, big old argument.
(04:15):
So I was like, okay, good time. I'm very hormonal,
I'm very reactive. It was my fault. Okay, my make
up for it. Take me to lunch.
Speaker 3 (04:22):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (04:22):
I was like, let's go for lunch. Let's have cute
time as a couple.
Speaker 1 (04:25):
So we had been out all day and he, you know,
we got home just before we was supposed to leave
to get ready for this lunch, so we didn't have
much time. And I said to him like, okay, well,
how dressy do I need to be? And he was like, nice,
where whatever you want to Where what you feel comfortable in.
Speaker 4 (04:39):
So I did.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
I feel very comfortable. And we got to the restaurant
and we walked in. I looked to where our table
was and I could see one of our friends.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
Sitting on the floor.
Speaker 4 (04:49):
Like so I thought it was a very long table.
Speaker 1 (04:52):
So I spotted her from quite a while, and my
brain was like, why is Sarah on the ground anyway,
as we need closer. The room exploded and all these
people jumped out and screamed surprise.
Speaker 4 (05:03):
And it took me wet yourself in birth child and my.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
Walks broke no.
Speaker 1 (05:07):
But it took me so so long to realize what
was going on. Firstly, but it's the first time I've
ever had a surprise anything. I don't know if I
responded in the way that you're supposed to respond.
Speaker 4 (05:17):
How did you unless you ran out of it?
Speaker 3 (05:18):
Okay, hang on, how did you respond that you don't
think is appropriate?
Speaker 1 (05:22):
Well, pretty much everyone was like, you looked really angry
because you didn't.
Speaker 4 (05:26):
Want us, you didn't want a baby shower.
Speaker 2 (05:28):
To be fair, I wasn't angry. I was just confused.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
I just had a really prolonged moment of confusion.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
I think you see these idyllic like.
Speaker 1 (05:37):
Surprise birthday parties and stuff, and the people just seem
so overwhelmed and happy.
Speaker 2 (05:41):
Instantly, I took.
Speaker 1 (05:42):
A little bit longer in the processing time. Once I
had processed it and realized what was going on, and
I was so happy to see everyone I love in
the one room together. I then kind of felt a
bit dirty to my husband that he told me just
to dress casual.
Speaker 2 (05:54):
Everyone was dressed up, everyone had their faked hands on
and they'd done their.
Speaker 1 (05:58):
Hair, and everyone was wearing like cute little summer dresses.
And I wrote up and I literally said to Matt
before I left, I was like, it's fine, It's not
like I'm going to see anyone.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
And then I saw every single person I love so overall.
Speaker 3 (06:12):
Do you think you're a surprise person or no? Put
it in the bin.
Speaker 2 (06:14):
I had the best time.
Speaker 1 (06:15):
I'm so glad we did it, but I'm not sure
if I'm a surprise person. I think I'm ana let
me know and prepare me. But if you're like organized
things on my behalf, I'm so cool with that. Like
it was so nice to just show up and everything
be done.
Speaker 3 (06:28):
I think I would love a surprise, would you listening?
Speaker 4 (06:32):
I wants a surprise. I've never had a surprise anything.
Speaker 3 (06:35):
But when we talk about if you're a surprise person,
I'm that kind of person that like, if it's Christmas
or whatever, right, you know you're gonna get a gift
from you partner or whatever you're You're like just tell
me what it is, and they'll fight you want it
because you really want to know.
Speaker 4 (06:48):
Then when they say fine, I'll tell you, I'm like.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
Nope, no, I don't want to know.
Speaker 3 (06:51):
I know. So it's almost like I can't tell if
I want the surprise or not, or if I just
want to know something because I'm not available to it.
Speaker 1 (06:57):
Yeah, Okay, I feel like there's definitely two types of
people in this world. Surprise people are not surprise people.
But do it for me anyway? All right, Well, producer.
Speaker 4 (07:03):
Grace is telling a sister to shut up.
Speaker 3 (07:07):
Well another day, another dating term. You know how it
rolls around, Laura.
Speaker 2 (07:12):
Oh, you hate the dating terms, but I love them.
I love it. Love a label.
Speaker 4 (07:16):
I just don't. I don't know why we need so
many labels.
Speaker 3 (07:19):
Like there's four different labels for the same thing ghosting,
but then if they come back it's zombie.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
It's like, I don't know, it just annoys me or
caspar or haunting.
Speaker 1 (07:27):
But do you know why I like it? It's because
the reason why these labels are popped up is purely
because so many of us have experienced so many of
the same behaviors in dating and relationships that someone came
along and was like, oh my god, me too.
Speaker 2 (07:40):
Let's call that one bread crumbing. Let's call that one.
Speaker 3 (07:42):
I was just about to say, that is my problem
with it, Laura is like, it almost makes bad behavior
like cutesy and tolerable.
Speaker 4 (07:50):
But this new one isn't cute. It's not endearing. I
don't like it.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
It's really mean.
Speaker 3 (07:55):
It's mean. It's called I mean, I'll let you guys decide.
It's called shreking, as in Fiona and Shrek from Shrek Shreking.
Speaker 2 (08:02):
The ogres who lived in the swamp.
Speaker 4 (08:04):
Yeah, so shreking.
Speaker 3 (08:05):
I'm just gonna read you the quote shreking involves intentions
dating someone you're not attracted to in hopes that they
would treat you better than the more attractive suitors out there.
So I mean, essentially, they're just saying, if you can't
find the person that you want, but you're just desperate
to foint love, find someone that you deem less attractive
because they're more likely to be so grateful for the
(08:27):
chance an opportunity to date you that they're going to
treat you like Princess Fiona.
Speaker 1 (08:31):
But I think that there's like a second level to
this one. Okay, we all can agree that it's cooked.
There's a second level to this because Princess Fiona ended
up being an ogre anyway. So I think if you're
going she did that for love, no, But if you
are so superficial that you're choosing someone because you've like
tried the hot guy and then you just kept getting
dump so you're like, fine, I'm done with hotness. I'm
(08:52):
only going to date someone that I think is unconventionally
attractive or not attractive.
Speaker 2 (08:55):
At all, whatever that looks like. Then you're a bit
of an asshole too. Like if you're ranking they may be.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
Objectively less attractive, but you are objectively a meaner person
because you've like ranked people on their attractiveness.
Speaker 3 (09:07):
I mean, if you've got to go into a real
relationship and it's already starting and the foundation is based
on that that you feel like your partner is Shrek
and you're too good for them and they should feel lucky,
like you're setting yourself up for failure. But it's not
just shrekking that's the problem. If you are shreking, that
means you can be shreked. So I want to wahould
I ever listen to what this woman says about being shreked.
(09:28):
A new dating term just came out, and it's called
getting shreked.
Speaker 2 (09:31):
It's where you're traumatized by a man.
Speaker 4 (09:32):
Who literally looks like Shrek. And we've all been there.
We give the guy word unattracted to.
Speaker 3 (09:37):
A chance, thinking that he will for sure know what
he has and treat us well, and then we get
a traumatized by all troll.
Speaker 1 (09:46):
Yeah. I listened to that, and I'm like, you're just
sound like an awful person, and that's why he dumped.
Speaker 2 (09:51):
You had nothing to do with looks. You're just horrible.
Speaker 1 (09:53):
But okay, I have a slightly different situation to this.
Back in my back, in my desperate error, when I
just so desperately wanted to be loved.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
We've all been there.
Speaker 1 (10:01):
I dated this guy who, don't get me wrong, he
was very attractive, we just had no chemistry, like there
was nothing there. I think even before I'd go on
dates with them, I think to myself, God, what are
we going to talk about? Because we have nothing to
talk about?
Speaker 4 (10:13):
Why were you going to say that?
Speaker 2 (10:15):
Because I was like, I'll give anything a chance.
Speaker 4 (10:17):
I'll just I really love me.
Speaker 2 (10:19):
Literally, I wanted to be loved.
Speaker 1 (10:20):
Okay, So we were dating and it was you know,
I think I was starting to be like, Okay, maybe
I do like this guy. I don't know, and then
he broke up with me, and I was so upset
because I was like, I wasn't even invested in you,
and you've still.
Speaker 2 (10:33):
Broken up with me. Now I realize it's because he
also was not invested in me.
Speaker 4 (10:37):
But like, yeah, guys, we've all been there.
Speaker 2 (10:39):
It was a tricky time. It's like when you think
you don't care and then all of.
Speaker 1 (10:42):
A sudden you're like, oh, maybe I just care because
I don't have the option anymore.
Speaker 4 (10:45):
I understand.
Speaker 3 (10:46):
What I will say is this woman sounds really mean, right,
like if I wouldn't want a date, it no if
I take this away from just the attractiveness. So like,
cause I have definitely dated people that didn't treat me
well and I hung around for too long because I
was also desperate to be loved. And then they break
up with you and you're like yes, and I was like,
you're actually treating me so badly and I'm I'm letting
(11:07):
you because I want to. You know, you're not a
good person, and it's got nothing to do with lux
And then when they dumbed me, I was like, sorry, what.
I was like, you're dumping me just because of nothing
to do with looks, but the way they treat somebody
at the end of the day, the way somebody looks,
whether you think they're attractive or you think they're unattractive,
it has nothing to do with who they're as a
person and their personality. Like, you cannot be out there
(11:28):
judging people on there.
Speaker 2 (11:30):
No, I agree, it's very superficial.
Speaker 1 (11:32):
But I once got dumbed by a really good looking guy,
so hot, except his mattress was on the floor and
he didn't have any bedsheets or doners.
Speaker 2 (11:40):
He just had clothes.
Speaker 1 (11:41):
So you were like you need me no and I
and I was like, okay, maybe this is the reason
why no one else is.
Speaker 2 (11:46):
But then he's still dumped me, and it was devastating.
Once again, Well here we are.
Speaker 4 (11:50):
You came out on top.
Speaker 2 (11:51):
Yeah, my husband thinks I'm such a catch.
Speaker 1 (11:53):
Anytime I talk about my exes, he's like, please stop,
because it's really offensive to me.
Speaker 4 (11:58):
Yeah, because it wasn't easy to win you over.
Speaker 1 (12:00):
What the hellritt are you someone who let lies in
bed at night?
Speaker 2 (12:05):
Time and scrolls on your phone, Like.
Speaker 1 (12:07):
Do you doom scroll the corse I or do you
have self control?
Speaker 3 (12:10):
I would love to say no, but I could not
tell the last time I went to bed before midnight.
Even if I go to bed at ten, somehow I'm
still on my phone.
Speaker 2 (12:18):
It's why, Like, when you say you're on your phone,
is it because you just like.
Speaker 1 (12:22):
Can't stop the scroll or is it because you're like
so overly stimulated by being on your phone that you
can't sleep?
Speaker 3 (12:27):
Well, Okay, firstly, maybe I'm not the best person to ask.
My husband, Ben lives in Italy, so every night for
me is the only time I talk to him because
he wakes up, so I'm on my phone talking to him.
But sometimes I put his face time up to the
corner and I scroll while I'm talking to him.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
You're not even talking to him.
Speaker 4 (12:45):
I don't look at him. I can do two things at.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
Once, can I be honest? I do that on moost teams, meetings,
whenever we're working.
Speaker 3 (12:51):
But you know we can all tell, right, Laura, Like
we all know you're doing it.
Speaker 4 (12:54):
We're just we know you don't pay attention. I can
see you.
Speaker 1 (12:56):
Up in the corner and I'm just like, Eh, what's
happening in the world.
Speaker 4 (12:59):
Sometimes down to the ground, I'm like, she's texting.
Speaker 1 (13:03):
No. The reason why I'm talking about this is because
I feel like we've been told for so long that
using your screens right before going to bed affects your
sleep quality. It like spikes your cortisol, it increases stress, like,
there's lots of different things, just brain function. Yeah, Like,
and we've been told how bad it is for us. Well,
there's been a review that's been done. I'd love to
know who did this, because I think it must be
the phone companies. But they've taken eleven different studies into account.
(13:24):
The researchers have found that there is absolutely apparently no
evidence the screen light on your mobile phone, like the
actual blue light that we've been told, yeah, is so
disruptive to sleep in the hour before bed, makes it
any difference whatsoever. So apparently the only delay that it
has for you, the screen light itself.
Speaker 2 (13:41):
Is nine point nine minutes.
Speaker 1 (13:43):
It's more so an issue that people who are using
their phone don't have the self controlled to put it down.
It's actually got nothing to do with the light of
the phone itself.
Speaker 3 (13:51):
Just reliable research Yeah, it looks.
Speaker 2 (13:53):
Pretty reliable to me. Who was responsible for this?
Speaker 1 (13:58):
So the eleven studies from around the world were published
in the journal Sleep Medicine Reviews and reported in publication
Sleep Reviews sponsored by Apple.
Speaker 4 (14:08):
So in my Apple iPhone.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
Okay, so doctor Genwoll, she's like a sleep specialist. She says,
if you're using your iPhone as a relaxation tool, like
you're reading a book, or you're on a kindle, or
maybe you're doing a mindfulness exercise, some kind of relaxation
exercise on your phone, or you're listening to music, whatever
it is, the light itself isn't that bad for you.
And that's what the evidence shows. There's actually this phenomena
that's been coined. It's called revenge bedtime procrastination. It's when
(14:31):
you get to the end of the day and it's
like that one bit of time that you feel like
you actually have to yourself, and so instead of going
to sleep, you will just stay on your phone doom
scrolling endlessly because even though you know you're going to
pay for it in the morning time, you at least
feel like you're cloring back some sort of sense of yourself.
Speaker 3 (14:47):
In the evening, but it's also because you are doing
know what, you're addicted.
Speaker 4 (14:51):
That's why reels are so quick.
Speaker 3 (14:53):
Thirty seconds, fifteen seconds are supposed to be consumed, go next, consume,
go next, and you can't get out of it, and
then you're stuck in the cycle.
Speaker 1 (14:59):
I know, but I do it because I just I mean,
the kids are awake until like eight o'clock and then
I'm like cooking and I'm doing other stuff, and then
it gets like nine thirty and I haven't had one
second myself all day, and so nine thirty rolls around,
I'm like, I don't want to go to sleep now.
Speaker 2 (15:12):
I need the time to.
Speaker 4 (15:14):
Look at these baby goats. God damns.
Speaker 3 (15:16):
So Laura, that's why Laura has searched Tino for this
research to say it is, in fact fine.
Speaker 4 (15:20):
And I'm sure you continue to do it.
Speaker 2 (15:21):
Yeah, I'm sure it's very thorough. Everyone. Well, look that
is it from us today, guys,
I heard podcasts, hear more Kiss podcast playlist and listen
live on the Free iHeart APPIU.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
With Britt Hockley and Laura Burn.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
Brady or what Our Windows down?
Speaker 3 (00:26):
My World?
Speaker 2 (00:26):
Reason the dust only good, tab Dog all down?
Speaker 4 (00:30):
I don't much, but yeah, I know I'll beg get
and what I want. It don't matter where that gone.
This is the pickup PI.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
Guys, welcome back to Monday. It's the pick Up with
Brett Hockey and Laura Burn and a small child.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
That's kicking me in the root page.
Speaker 4 (00:46):
Do you look very uncomfortable? It's like you need to fight,
or like there's a baby.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
No, there's no well, actually maybe no one wants to
hear about that.
Speaker 3 (00:54):
No.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
I just had this one moment, literally as we're about
to get on air, and I just got kicked straight
into a lung or into like.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
My I don't even know my diaphragm. It really hurts.
Speaker 1 (01:04):
Okay, if this is surprising to anyone, I'm very pregnant
and it's kicking me really hard.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
What months? Yeah, kick it back, I say, joking. How's
your weekend, Brier?
Speaker 4 (01:14):
Oh, it was actually the best weekend ever.
Speaker 3 (01:16):
It was my birthday weekend so I went up to
the Gold Coast to hang out with a couple of
friends and my sister and my knees and stuff. But
the best thing that could have happened to me happened,
like the best present I could have got. What was
the best counts because she's six. But anyway, my friend's
little girl came over and we had like a little
cake and party and stuff. And she's six years old.
And my friend said to her, Hey, Mace, how old
(01:39):
do you think any Brittany's turning? And in my head,
I thought, oh, this could go one of two ways.
Speaker 4 (01:45):
Eighteen.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
Yeah, I don't think i'd take what a six year
old she's.
Speaker 4 (01:48):
I'm taking it. I am taking it.
Speaker 2 (01:50):
I don't think i'd hang my hat on a six
year old's opinion on me.
Speaker 3 (01:53):
I said, Macy, say less, say less.
Speaker 4 (01:55):
That is a full center.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
That's enough.
Speaker 1 (01:57):
Do you know what though, you did skip town on
the weekend, and it means that you also skipped my
baby shower.
Speaker 2 (02:02):
But I didn't know what was happening.
Speaker 4 (02:03):
Yes I had.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
I was surprised with the baby shower over the weekend,
and it was amazing, But also I don't know how
I feel about surprises and I want to talk about
it next. Okay, so this weekend I had a baby shower.
So if you're like, yay, if you're not across this,
I am about four and a half weeks of having
a baby. I currently have a foot sticking into my lung.
(02:27):
I'm pretty sure I'm very close to having a baby.
And it's my number three, so like, it's not my
first rodeo. I've got a couple of kids already old news.
It's just a bit old and boring, Like, does anyone care?
Speaker 2 (02:38):
Probably not.
Speaker 3 (02:39):
So.
Speaker 2 (02:39):
My sister in law.
Speaker 1 (02:40):
Who I absolutely adore, Kate, she came to me the
other about two months ago and she was like, we're
gonna have a baby shower, right.
Speaker 2 (02:48):
I don't know if other people feel differently than this,
but I don't.
Speaker 1 (02:50):
Think you have a baby shower when you've got that
many kids. I think baby showers exclusively for like one.
Speaker 2 (02:55):
Maybe two. I don't know.
Speaker 3 (02:56):
I don't even think i'd have a baby shower for
my first one. But I'm a weirdo like that. Yeah,
I'm not a partier for myself, no, but for myself,
Like I don't Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 4 (03:05):
I feel weird about parties.
Speaker 1 (03:06):
Well, I think usually other people organize baby showers for you.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
It's kind of like organizing your own hens, you know.
BRIT's like I did that.
Speaker 4 (03:11):
I did that as well.
Speaker 1 (03:14):
But they asked me what I wanted to do, and
I was like, no, I don't want to do anything.
We've got all this stuff. I've already had two of them, Like,
no one cares. It's just like and also would anyone
even show up? Why would they? They're like, oh, Laura's
done that again. It just felt like a lot of
effort at this late in the pregnancy. And Kate, so
Matt's sister, was like, no, like you need to do something.
(03:35):
You need to have a girl's lunch.
Speaker 3 (03:36):
Now.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
The thing is Kate has three kids, and she was like,
your life is over. It's not a celebration, it's a commiseration.
You just need to enjoy yourself one last time.
Speaker 4 (03:45):
It's like a what's it called awake.
Speaker 2 (03:47):
Yes for my former self.
Speaker 1 (03:49):
So that was the last time we spoke about it.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
I said absolutely not.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
Anyway, hadn't thought about it again since that was months ago.
On the weekend just passed my husband, Matt. He had
said to me that he was going to take me
out for a nice lunch to just the two of us,
because he was you know, the way he set this
up was that he was like, I really want us
to just spend some quality time to get before the
baby comes. We're just gonna go out for lunch together. Now,
preceding this, we just had a great, big old argument.
(04:15):
So I was like, okay, good time. I'm very hormonal,
I'm very reactive. It was my fault. Okay, my make
up for it. Take me to lunch.
Speaker 3 (04:22):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (04:22):
I was like, let's go for lunch. Let's have cute
time as a couple.
Speaker 1 (04:25):
So we had been out all day and he, you know,
we got home just before we was supposed to leave
to get ready for this lunch, so we didn't have
much time. And I said to him like, okay, well,
how dressy do I need to be? And he was like, nice,
where whatever you want to Where what you feel comfortable in.
Speaker 4 (04:39):
So I did.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
I feel very comfortable. And we got to the restaurant
and we walked in. I looked to where our table
was and I could see one of our friends.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
Sitting on the floor.
Speaker 4 (04:49):
Like so I thought it was a very long table.
Speaker 1 (04:52):
So I spotted her from quite a while, and my
brain was like, why is Sarah on the ground anyway,
as we need closer. The room exploded and all these
people jumped out and screamed surprise.
Speaker 4 (05:03):
And it took me wet yourself in birth child and my.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
Walks broke no.
Speaker 1 (05:07):
But it took me so so long to realize what
was going on. Firstly, but it's the first time I've
ever had a surprise anything. I don't know if I
responded in the way that you're supposed to respond.
Speaker 4 (05:17):
How did you unless you ran out of it?
Speaker 3 (05:18):
Okay, hang on, how did you respond that you don't
think is appropriate?
Speaker 1 (05:22):
Well, pretty much everyone was like, you looked really angry
because you didn't.
Speaker 4 (05:26):
Want us, you didn't want a baby shower.
Speaker 2 (05:28):
To be fair, I wasn't angry. I was just confused.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
I just had a really prolonged moment of confusion.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
I think you see these idyllic like.
Speaker 1 (05:37):
Surprise birthday parties and stuff, and the people just seem
so overwhelmed and happy.
Speaker 2 (05:41):
Instantly, I took.
Speaker 1 (05:42):
A little bit longer in the processing time. Once I
had processed it and realized what was going on, and
I was so happy to see everyone I love in
the one room together. I then kind of felt a
bit dirty to my husband that he told me just
to dress casual.
Speaker 2 (05:54):
Everyone was dressed up, everyone had their faked hands on
and they'd done their.
Speaker 1 (05:58):
Hair, and everyone was wearing like cute little summer dresses.
And I wrote up and I literally said to Matt
before I left, I was like, it's fine, It's not
like I'm going to see anyone.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
And then I saw every single person I love so overall.
Speaker 3 (06:12):
Do you think you're a surprise person or no? Put
it in the bin.
Speaker 2 (06:14):
I had the best time.
Speaker 1 (06:15):
I'm so glad we did it, but I'm not sure
if I'm a surprise person. I think I'm ana let
me know and prepare me. But if you're like organized
things on my behalf, I'm so cool with that. Like
it was so nice to just show up and everything
be done.
Speaker 3 (06:28):
I think I would love a surprise, would you listening?
Speaker 4 (06:32):
I wants a surprise. I've never had a surprise anything.
Speaker 3 (06:35):
But when we talk about if you're a surprise person,
I'm that kind of person that like, if it's Christmas
or whatever, right, you know you're gonna get a gift
from you partner or whatever you're You're like just tell
me what it is, and they'll fight you want it
because you really want to know.
Speaker 4 (06:48):
Then when they say fine, I'll tell you, I'm like.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
Nope, no, I don't want to know.
Speaker 3 (06:51):
I know. So it's almost like I can't tell if
I want the surprise or not, or if I just
want to know something because I'm not available to it.
Speaker 1 (06:57):
Yeah, Okay, I feel like there's definitely two types of
people in this world. Surprise people are not surprise people.
But do it for me anyway? All right, Well, producer.
Speaker 4 (07:03):
Grace is telling a sister to shut up.
Speaker 3 (07:07):
Well another day, another dating term. You know how it
rolls around, Laura.
Speaker 2 (07:12):
Oh, you hate the dating terms, but I love them.
I love it. Love a label.
Speaker 4 (07:16):
I just don't. I don't know why we need so
many labels.
Speaker 3 (07:19):
Like there's four different labels for the same thing ghosting,
but then if they come back it's zombie.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
It's like, I don't know, it just annoys me or
caspar or haunting.
Speaker 1 (07:27):
But do you know why I like it? It's because
the reason why these labels are popped up is purely
because so many of us have experienced so many of
the same behaviors in dating and relationships that someone came
along and was like, oh my god, me too.
Speaker 2 (07:40):
Let's call that one bread crumbing. Let's call that one.
Speaker 3 (07:42):
I was just about to say, that is my problem
with it, Laura is like, it almost makes bad behavior
like cutesy and tolerable.
Speaker 4 (07:50):
But this new one isn't cute. It's not endearing. I
don't like it.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
It's really mean.
Speaker 3 (07:55):
It's mean. It's called I mean, I'll let you guys decide.
It's called shreking, as in Fiona and Shrek from Shrek Shreking.
Speaker 2 (08:02):
The ogres who lived in the swamp.
Speaker 4 (08:04):
Yeah, so shreking.
Speaker 3 (08:05):
I'm just gonna read you the quote shreking involves intentions
dating someone you're not attracted to in hopes that they
would treat you better than the more attractive suitors out there.
So I mean, essentially, they're just saying, if you can't
find the person that you want, but you're just desperate
to foint love, find someone that you deem less attractive
because they're more likely to be so grateful for the
(08:27):
chance an opportunity to date you that they're going to
treat you like Princess Fiona.
Speaker 1 (08:31):
But I think that there's like a second level to
this one. Okay, we all can agree that it's cooked.
There's a second level to this because Princess Fiona ended
up being an ogre anyway. So I think if you're
going she did that for love, no, But if you
are so superficial that you're choosing someone because you've like
tried the hot guy and then you just kept getting
dump so you're like, fine, I'm done with hotness. I'm
(08:52):
only going to date someone that I think is unconventionally
attractive or not attractive.
Speaker 2 (08:55):
At all, whatever that looks like. Then you're a bit
of an asshole too. Like if you're ranking they may be.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
Objectively less attractive, but you are objectively a meaner person
because you've like ranked people on their attractiveness.
Speaker 3 (09:07):
I mean, if you've got to go into a real
relationship and it's already starting and the foundation is based
on that that you feel like your partner is Shrek
and you're too good for them and they should feel lucky,
like you're setting yourself up for failure. But it's not
just shrekking that's the problem. If you are shreking, that
means you can be shreked. So I want to wahould
I ever listen to what this woman says about being shreked.
(09:28):
A new dating term just came out, and it's called
getting shreked.
Speaker 2 (09:31):
It's where you're traumatized by a man.
Speaker 4 (09:32):
Who literally looks like Shrek. And we've all been there.
We give the guy word unattracted to.
Speaker 3 (09:37):
A chance, thinking that he will for sure know what
he has and treat us well, and then we get
a traumatized by all troll.
Speaker 1 (09:46):
Yeah. I listened to that, and I'm like, you're just
sound like an awful person, and that's why he dumped.
Speaker 2 (09:51):
You had nothing to do with looks. You're just horrible.
Speaker 1 (09:53):
But okay, I have a slightly different situation to this.
Back in my back, in my desperate error, when I
just so desperately wanted to be loved.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
We've all been there.
Speaker 1 (10:01):
I dated this guy who, don't get me wrong, he
was very attractive, we just had no chemistry, like there
was nothing there. I think even before I'd go on
dates with them, I think to myself, God, what are
we going to talk about? Because we have nothing to
talk about?
Speaker 4 (10:13):
Why were you going to say that?
Speaker 2 (10:15):
Because I was like, I'll give anything a chance.
Speaker 4 (10:17):
I'll just I really love me.
Speaker 2 (10:19):
Literally, I wanted to be loved.
Speaker 1 (10:20):
Okay, So we were dating and it was you know,
I think I was starting to be like, Okay, maybe
I do like this guy. I don't know, and then
he broke up with me, and I was so upset
because I was like, I wasn't even invested in you,
and you've still.
Speaker 2 (10:33):
Broken up with me. Now I realize it's because he
also was not invested in me.
Speaker 4 (10:37):
But like, yeah, guys, we've all been there.
Speaker 2 (10:39):
It was a tricky time. It's like when you think
you don't care and then all of.
Speaker 1 (10:42):
A sudden you're like, oh, maybe I just care because
I don't have the option anymore.
Speaker 4 (10:45):
I understand.
Speaker 3 (10:46):
What I will say is this woman sounds really mean, right,
like if I wouldn't want a date, it no if
I take this away from just the attractiveness. So like,
cause I have definitely dated people that didn't treat me
well and I hung around for too long because I
was also desperate to be loved. And then they break
up with you and you're like yes, and I was like,
you're actually treating me so badly and I'm I'm letting
(11:07):
you because I want to. You know, you're not a
good person, and it's got nothing to do with lux
And then when they dumbed me, I was like, sorry, what.
I was like, you're dumping me just because of nothing
to do with looks, but the way they treat somebody
at the end of the day, the way somebody looks,
whether you think they're attractive or you think they're unattractive,
it has nothing to do with who they're as a
person and their personality. Like, you cannot be out there
(11:28):
judging people on there.
Speaker 2 (11:30):
No, I agree, it's very superficial.
Speaker 1 (11:32):
But I once got dumbed by a really good looking guy,
so hot, except his mattress was on the floor and
he didn't have any bedsheets or doners.
Speaker 2 (11:40):
He just had clothes.
Speaker 1 (11:41):
So you were like you need me no and I
and I was like, okay, maybe this is the reason
why no one else is.
Speaker 2 (11:46):
But then he's still dumped me, and it was devastating.
Once again, Well here we are.
Speaker 4 (11:50):
You came out on top.
Speaker 2 (11:51):
Yeah, my husband thinks I'm such a catch.
Speaker 1 (11:53):
Anytime I talk about my exes, he's like, please stop,
because it's really offensive to me.
Speaker 4 (11:58):
Yeah, because it wasn't easy to win you over.
Speaker 1 (12:00):
What the hellritt are you someone who let lies in
bed at night?
Speaker 2 (12:05):
Time and scrolls on your phone, Like.
Speaker 1 (12:07):
Do you doom scroll the corse I or do you
have self control?
Speaker 3 (12:10):
I would love to say no, but I could not
tell the last time I went to bed before midnight.
Even if I go to bed at ten, somehow I'm
still on my phone.
Speaker 2 (12:18):
It's why, Like, when you say you're on your phone,
is it because you just like.
Speaker 1 (12:22):
Can't stop the scroll or is it because you're like
so overly stimulated by being on your phone that you
can't sleep?
Speaker 3 (12:27):
Well, Okay, firstly, maybe I'm not the best person to ask.
My husband, Ben lives in Italy, so every night for
me is the only time I talk to him because
he wakes up, so I'm on my phone talking to him.
But sometimes I put his face time up to the
corner and I scroll while I'm talking to him.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
You're not even talking to him.
Speaker 4 (12:45):
I don't look at him. I can do two things at.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
Once, can I be honest? I do that on moost teams, meetings,
whenever we're working.
Speaker 3 (12:51):
But you know we can all tell, right, Laura, Like
we all know you're doing it.
Speaker 4 (12:54):
We're just we know you don't pay attention. I can
see you.
Speaker 1 (12:56):
Up in the corner and I'm just like, Eh, what's
happening in the world.
Speaker 4 (12:59):
Sometimes down to the ground, I'm like, she's texting.
Speaker 1 (13:03):
No. The reason why I'm talking about this is because
I feel like we've been told for so long that
using your screens right before going to bed affects your
sleep quality. It like spikes your cortisol, it increases stress, like,
there's lots of different things, just brain function. Yeah, Like,
and we've been told how bad it is for us. Well,
there's been a review that's been done. I'd love to
know who did this, because I think it must be
the phone companies. But they've taken eleven different studies into account.
(13:24):
The researchers have found that there is absolutely apparently no
evidence the screen light on your mobile phone, like the
actual blue light that we've been told, yeah, is so
disruptive to sleep in the hour before bed, makes it
any difference whatsoever. So apparently the only delay that it
has for you, the screen light itself.
Speaker 2 (13:41):
Is nine point nine minutes.
Speaker 1 (13:43):
It's more so an issue that people who are using
their phone don't have the self controlled to put it down.
It's actually got nothing to do with the light of
the phone itself.
Speaker 3 (13:51):
Just reliable research Yeah, it looks.
Speaker 2 (13:53):
Pretty reliable to me. Who was responsible for this?
Speaker 1 (13:58):
So the eleven studies from around the world were published
in the journal Sleep Medicine Reviews and reported in publication
Sleep Reviews sponsored by Apple.
Speaker 4 (14:08):
So in my Apple iPhone.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
Okay, so doctor Genwoll, she's like a sleep specialist. She says,
if you're using your iPhone as a relaxation tool, like
you're reading a book, or you're on a kindle, or
maybe you're doing a mindfulness exercise, some kind of relaxation
exercise on your phone, or you're listening to music, whatever
it is, the light itself isn't that bad for you.
And that's what the evidence shows. There's actually this phenomena
that's been coined. It's called revenge bedtime procrastination. It's when
(14:31):
you get to the end of the day and it's
like that one bit of time that you feel like
you actually have to yourself, and so instead of going
to sleep, you will just stay on your phone doom
scrolling endlessly because even though you know you're going to
pay for it in the morning time, you at least
feel like you're cloring back some sort of sense of yourself.
Speaker 3 (14:47):
In the evening, but it's also because you are doing
know what, you're addicted.
Speaker 4 (14:51):
That's why reels are so quick.
Speaker 3 (14:53):
Thirty seconds, fifteen seconds are supposed to be consumed, go next, consume,
go next, and you can't get out of it, and
then you're stuck in the cycle.
Speaker 1 (14:59):
I know, but I do it because I just I mean,
the kids are awake until like eight o'clock and then
I'm like cooking and I'm doing other stuff, and then
it gets like nine thirty and I haven't had one
second myself all day, and so nine thirty rolls around,
I'm like, I don't want to go to sleep now.
Speaker 2 (15:12):
I need the time to.
Speaker 4 (15:14):
Look at these baby goats. God damns.
Speaker 3 (15:16):
So Laura, that's why Laura has searched Tino for this
research to say it is, in fact fine.
Speaker 4 (15:20):
And I'm sure you continue to do it.
Speaker 2 (15:21):
Yeah, I'm sure it's very thorough. Everyone. Well, look that
is it from us today, guys,
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