August 14, 2025 • 14 mins
ASK UNCUT: Jess' best friend bailed on her wedding, but her mum REALLY wants them to be friends again. Britt has done a deep dive on 'empathy classes' in Denmark and Laura tests out the new Hinge Prompts from Esther Perel.
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Speaker 1 (00:10):
Hi Heart podcasts, hear more Kiss podcast playlist and listen
live on the Free iHeart app.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
The Pickup with Brittle and Laura Burn Bady your work,
our windows down, that's my world.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
Risen the dust only good fabs all down.
Speaker 3 (00:30):
I don't march, but yeah I'm not.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
I'll big get and what I want it, don't mattle
where this is the pickup?
Speaker 1 (00:39):
Hi, guys, you're listening to the Pickup with Britt Harkley
and Laura Ben.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
I have been waiting with baited breath for your daughter
Marley May's facial update.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
So yes, Ma, if you missed the show, my daughter Marley,
she drew on her face at dinner time that she
did with permanent marker, and then we had to send.
Speaker 3 (00:56):
Her some unfortunately, you know what deserves says, all right.
Speaker 4 (00:59):
Why are you leaving the permanent mark around at dinnert time?
Speaker 3 (01:01):
No, I didn't.
Speaker 1 (01:02):
She got off a chair, she went to the drawer,
she got it thinking it was an orm texture and
drew a clown face on a SA says all right,
and it wouldn't come off, and she went to.
Speaker 3 (01:09):
School with clownfex. I love your laughing. Let's finish that sentence.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
She did, unfortunately have to go to school still with
the clown face because she's not sick.
Speaker 3 (01:17):
But you know what, it was a lesson.
Speaker 1 (01:18):
It was a really important life lesson about consequences.
Speaker 3 (01:21):
And she's not going to draw on a face, she's
to be fair.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
She came home and most the teacher has gotten most
of the last bit off, so she's looking pretty good.
Speaker 3 (01:28):
They just nah.
Speaker 1 (01:29):
I think they just went and like we had tried,
and we'd done a pretty good job on it, and
I think that it was just wear and tear overtime
it had come off, so they got a bit more
off and now she's good again, but she will not
be drawing on her face.
Speaker 4 (01:41):
And what about little older derby, the little one?
Speaker 1 (01:43):
Now she still has eye shadow on. So she drew
with permanent marker on her I lid and that's still
there because you can't rub as vigorously.
Speaker 3 (01:49):
So she looks like she was like a drag queen
and that's going to stay for a while. Bless us all.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
Now it is Thursday, which means it's time for us
gun cut, where you guys call in with your deepest, darkest,
biggest dilemmas and we do our best to answer them.
We do this on our podcast Life on Cut every
week and we have Jessica on the phone. Jessica, what
is your big dilemma?
Speaker 5 (02:11):
So my child was best friend of thirty years decided
to pull out as a bridesmaid super close to our
wedding last year and we haven't spoken in eighteen months.
Speaker 3 (02:22):
Oh wow, so she didn't come to the wedding at all?
Speaker 5 (02:24):
Then, well that was the thing. She said, she couldn't
support me as a bridesmaid, but she could still come
to the wedding. I was like, really, I was really conflicted.
I was like, how can you support me not standing
up there, but you can still support me at the wedding.
Speaker 4 (02:40):
Did she come to the wedding at all?
Speaker 3 (02:41):
Or you said don't worry No.
Speaker 5 (02:44):
I ended up. I had this really big conversation with
my mum. Because they're from small towns, everyone's friended everyone,
and my mum really wanted me to forgive her an
inviter to the wedding and I said no, I couldn't.
And it's still mine of my mom's topic of conversation
most week.
Speaker 1 (03:02):
What was the what was the reasoning that she gave
you when she pulled out of being a bridesmaid.
Speaker 5 (03:08):
She never really gave me a reason. She just said, Oh,
I just don't think I'm in the right place to
do it right now. And she'd gone through a divorce herself,
and I just thought, oh, must be really hard for her, Like,
of course that's fine. Do you think got deeper and deeper?
And yeah, do you.
Speaker 4 (03:22):
Think it has anything to do with like funds?
Speaker 2 (03:25):
You know, like sometimes weddings for bridesmaids and stuff are
really expensive if you're doing hens and then you're doing
dresses and maybe this travel, Like do you think I
had anything to do with money?
Speaker 5 (03:34):
I don't think so, Like I did say to her,
if money is an issue, like I'm so happy to
cover it mmm, And that was I paid for a
lot of their stuff anyways.
Speaker 3 (03:42):
So does she like her husband?
Speaker 2 (03:44):
She has had a bit of a problem with him
from the start, So maybe it comes down to that.
Maybe she's like, I just can't support this wedding for
some reason.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
Had there been any dramas closer to the wedding that
you know of, like as in they had they had
any disagreements or anything.
Speaker 5 (03:58):
Like that, It never sort of came to a head.
And like, my husband is so lovely and she just
I think when she went through her divorce, I was single,
she wanted to be single together, and then I ended
up meeting him, and then it sort of really disrupted
her plans.
Speaker 3 (04:14):
Mmmm.
Speaker 1 (04:14):
Okay, Look, I mean I feel like it's one of
those things where how do you feel without having her
in your life? Like is it you know, if it's
a friendship that you think about in you mourn over,
then I would say, yeah, like have a conversation with
her and rekindle the friendship and see if you guys
can get it back on track.
Speaker 3 (04:31):
But if you're.
Speaker 1 (04:32):
Actually at a point in your life where you're like,
do you know what, My life is easier and happier
and it's less drama without her, then I don't think
you have to be friends with everyone, even if they
are like a long standing childhood friend, just because you know,
it sounds like there's been a few things going on
behind the scenes as well, especially without the explanation.
Speaker 5 (04:50):
Yeah, I agree with all of that. I don't feel
like I'm missing her in my life. But then I
look back and I'm like, I am sad that that
friendship did come to an end.
Speaker 2 (04:58):
I think there's this expectation that if you've been childhood friends,
that you know, just because you've been friends with twenty years,
that you have to maintain a friendship. Like there are
seasons and people can grow apart in.
Speaker 3 (05:07):
Two different things.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
And I think if you guys are actually fine and
you don't miss her or ned he, I know it
sounds horrible, but like we do have different friendships at
different chapters of our life. And I don't think if
the only reason your question if you need to go
and repair that is because your mum's telling you to,
that's not reason enough. And also, if this is what
I think, right, if you do go and repair that friendship, now,
(05:30):
it's not going back to what it was. This is
always going to be there, and it's always going to
be there between you guys. It's always going to probably
be a little bit awkward and maybe even forced. I'd
be probably letting dead dogs lie.
Speaker 5 (05:42):
The problem is there were three of us in miss friendship,
and I'm still friends with the other one. All right,
We've just had a wedding and we saw each other
at the wedding and it's all very awkward, and I
know they'll be like babies in the future.
Speaker 4 (05:55):
Oh this is too messy for me. I'm not going
back there.
Speaker 1 (05:57):
I think either you know, except that the friendship is
done and move on, or if you really want some
closure in it and the thing is not so much closure,
If you really want the friendship to be something, I
think that you know, having a conversation around the why
and the what happened kind of thing and unpacking that
might be worthwhile. But also, she doesn't get along with
(06:18):
your husband, good buddy luck. It just sounds like a
lot of drama.
Speaker 2 (06:20):
I would be But you know what, like as much
as I've just said this, I'm thinking about it, I
actually really.
Speaker 3 (06:25):
Want to know why she pulled out.
Speaker 2 (06:28):
So maybe maybe you can fake it so you want
to repair it to get the info and then be like.
Speaker 5 (06:33):
Time, I'm like, no, I'm done with this.
Speaker 3 (06:36):
Yeah, you don't need the drama.
Speaker 4 (06:37):
I think it's too much hassle.
Speaker 2 (06:38):
Yeah, Park that one you need a new triangle friend
and you'll be okay, you need a new third part
one day.
Speaker 5 (06:45):
I would love to know why. I also don't want
to ye, not enough to bring something up state.
Speaker 1 (06:50):
Yeah No, Jessica, thanks so much for the call.
Speaker 5 (06:53):
That's okay, Thanks for having me Laura.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
This week, we've been touching on bullying no way week.
It's just like a bit of an education surrounding bullying
in the school system and what.
Speaker 4 (07:03):
To do about it.
Speaker 2 (07:04):
Yeah, and I came across this fascinating article that came
out of Well, actually you can guess. For seven years running,
one country has been named the happiest country in the world.
Speaker 1 (07:16):
Isn't it like Sweden or somewhere close sort of Denmark?
Speaker 3 (07:20):
Great?
Speaker 2 (07:21):
But interestingly they're attributing it back to something that they
have brought into the school curriculum. They have a dedicated
hour a week for kids starting from kindergarten.
Speaker 4 (07:33):
That's called Empathy Class.
Speaker 2 (07:35):
Like it's an hour of pure empathy where they learn
about their feelings and they learn how to interact with
each other.
Speaker 4 (07:40):
And it is just like, I guess, a safe space.
Speaker 3 (07:44):
God, isn't this a.
Speaker 1 (07:45):
Step up from when we were oh kids at school?
It was like do maths?
Speaker 3 (07:48):
Do English? Get your writing pen?
Speaker 4 (07:49):
You got pushed over in the sandpit.
Speaker 3 (07:51):
Deal with it, tough titties.
Speaker 2 (07:52):
Absolutely, But it's like these students are sitting in a
circle and they share their real problems, they share their
friendship dramas they talk about being left out, Like I
guess it's a way of encouraging Hey, you're not a loser.
Speaker 4 (08:03):
If you got left out, Like, hey, who got left
out today?
Speaker 3 (08:06):
Oh? Why is that?
Speaker 4 (08:06):
How did that make you feel?
Speaker 2 (08:07):
And it's just about sharing feelings, But they're talking about
the fact that empathy is actually a learned trade.
Speaker 3 (08:15):
Of course, Yeah, why wouldn't we be putting that into
the schools.
Speaker 1 (08:18):
Also really good for like little boys as well being
a part of this, especially when you know, you hear
about all the toxic masculinity stuff and everything that kids
are exposed to online, but sitting down and being like, Okay, well,
how did that make you feel? I do think though,
you know, I mean from what I have a very
small amount of experience in terms of like the school
system now, but I do think that things are very
(08:39):
different from when we were at school.
Speaker 3 (08:40):
Like when we were at school.
Speaker 1 (08:42):
There was like no sex education, there was no bullying,
There was no as I mean there's loads of bullying,
there was no bullying education. It just kind of was
like part and parcel of being at school and yet
to figure it out, whereas now we know so much
more about kids have anxieties or we know so much
more around like how to teach children to be kinder
to each other. One of the things it's implemented at
(09:02):
the school that my girls go to is they have
like a buddy bench. So they have this buddy bench system.
Basically like if a kid's sitting on the buddy bench,
it means they have no one to play with. And
you think about when we were kids, if that had
been the case, you would have felt.
Speaker 3 (09:16):
Like it was putting. You would have had a.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
Bit ostracized even just going and sitting on that buddy bench,
you know, whereas now Marley says, she goes, oh, yeah,
I went it sat on the buddy bench, and I'm like, oh,
you don't have anyone to play with? She goes, no,
I just didn't light the games my friends were playing,
so I waited for someone else with a better game.
Speaker 4 (09:30):
I was like, okay, it's like tap into yeah.
Speaker 1 (09:32):
And like the kids are so receptive to this type
of buddy system.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
Well, not only are they ranked as one of the
happiest nations in the world, but only six point three
percent of Danish students experience regular bullying, which is one
of the last, if not the lowest statistic in Europe,
but long term studies showed that these kids that do
learn empathy young are more likely to graduate, which have
better relationships in yeah's no doubt that one hold down.
Speaker 4 (09:56):
Their full time jobs. Like I guess you don't really think.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
Of how important something like just empathy is because when
we think of our school education exactly that it's mouth,
it's English.
Speaker 1 (10:06):
You know. You know what changed in Australia recently. I
mean I think it was last year year before the
teachers consent movement. If anyone hasn't heard of that, it's
Chanelle Contos. She lobbied the government to bring in this
teach us consent. Now it's part of the curriculum. Teaching
consent and consent isn't just about sex education. It's consent
and what consent means in all different forms is part
(10:26):
of school curriculum. I reckon having an empathy class as
being part of school curriculum would be like such an
incredible way to reduce bullying and really just make kids
understand even if they don't understand that what they're doing
is not nice, they can at least comprehend or how
would it feel if someone did that to me?
Speaker 2 (10:43):
Well, I will leave you with this one actionable change
that they suggest for you guys parents at home.
Speaker 4 (10:49):
It's as simple as that, Laura.
Speaker 2 (10:50):
When a kid is telling you about bullying or maybe
they've been bullying in a way without knowing it's bullying,
instead of saying, hey, be nice, you just change the
sentence to how do you think they felt?
Speaker 4 (11:00):
That's as simple as that.
Speaker 2 (11:01):
Instead of saying be nice, it's how do you think
they feel when you do that? So, yeah, I think
if you want to do anything at home, that's it.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
It has been a long term since you have been
online dating.
Speaker 2 (11:12):
I know I've been off for three years, but I
was on for ten.
Speaker 3 (11:16):
You did hit them hard back in the day.
Speaker 2 (11:18):
I feel like, where is Yes, I had every dating app?
Speaker 4 (11:21):
Sure, well, I don't know.
Speaker 3 (11:23):
I'm sorry. Is this a Britney roast?
Speaker 2 (11:25):
No?
Speaker 1 (11:25):
My question is were you using online dating at the
time when the.
Speaker 3 (11:29):
Prompts came in?
Speaker 2 (11:30):
You know?
Speaker 5 (11:30):
Like?
Speaker 1 (11:31):
Yeah? Now, now, it's like because back in when I
was online dating, this is a long time ago.
Speaker 3 (11:35):
Now it was just swipe swipe swipes from a.
Speaker 4 (11:37):
Picture like a fishing picture.
Speaker 1 (11:39):
Yeah, it was just men holding fish. And now at
least those men have to explain the fish.
Speaker 2 (11:43):
I've been through all the updates, I've been through the
paid subscriptions, I've done it all, but I was I was.
Speaker 4 (11:48):
Deep in the prompts. I hated the prompts.
Speaker 1 (11:49):
Okay, what were some of the prompts that you had
to fill out?
Speaker 3 (11:53):
Because you can choose them as well, can't you.
Speaker 2 (11:55):
Yeah, so it comes up with like there might be
like fifty or sixty different prompts for example, but you
have to just pick like four or five. Some of
the apps actually make you pick a minimum of three, or.
Speaker 4 (12:05):
You can't even have an app.
Speaker 3 (12:06):
You can't.
Speaker 4 (12:07):
You can't have a profile now without least a couple
of prompts.
Speaker 3 (12:09):
But it's like that though, so at least you've got
to show a bitty personality.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
It's like we would get along if and then you
gotta feel it out.
Speaker 3 (12:16):
You love ice cream, we're the same type of crazy.
If you're both on medication.
Speaker 2 (12:20):
On the weekends, you'll find me asleep next to you
in bed.
Speaker 4 (12:23):
Hell, but that's that's that's what I say.
Speaker 3 (12:26):
Okay, right, did you you did? God? The reason why
I'm bringing this up because.
Speaker 1 (12:32):
So Essa Perral, she's a relationship expert, like we adore her.
Speaker 3 (12:34):
We've had her on our podcast, Life Uncut podcast. She
is truly amazing.
Speaker 1 (12:39):
So she's teened up with Hinge and she's done a
whole lot of new prompts.
Speaker 3 (12:42):
Some of them I'm like, yes, I get it, I
love it. Ah, you know, tell me more about yourself
and other ones.
Speaker 1 (12:46):
I'm just not sure whether I would find it really
cringey if someone was answering these things before I met them.
Speaker 2 (12:52):
You couldn't online date now, don't ever split up with
Matt because it's you just can't do it.
Speaker 3 (12:56):
You would drown. Okay, hear me. Look, I don't trust me.
Speaker 1 (13:00):
I have to go on a reality TV show to
find my husband in the first place.
Speaker 3 (13:03):
I don't trust my tasty men apart from him.
Speaker 1 (13:05):
All right, Okay, here are some of the prompts that
are host to inspire more surprise, curiosity, and playfulness between people.
Oh hit me, okay, number one in my friend group,
I am the one who goes home first.
Speaker 3 (13:22):
Okay. Something my pet thinks about me. I'm a legend.
Speaker 2 (13:26):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (13:27):
De la Le's got great taste. It's not a vacation
unless we're.
Speaker 3 (13:31):
Not at work.
Speaker 1 (13:34):
An award my family would give me biggest procrastinator. I
could stay up all night talking about Taylor Swift. Where
I go when I want to feel a little bit
more like myself. All right, look, guys, I would love
(13:54):
to know. Send them on into us. You can go
to our socials to pick up and send it because.
Speaker 3 (13:58):
I would love to know. What do you answer to
these prompts? How do you describe yourself?
Speaker 1 (14:02):
Also, if you've ever come across anything just ridiculously cringe,
send them to us as well. You know, I feel
like there's more to this. You enter this one before
you go. All right, let's go. Let's do it.
Speaker 3 (14:11):
You'd never know it, but I can pick things up
with my feet. Everyone knows that. Yet should put it
all in social media. Alright, Look, guys, that's it from us.
Hi Heart podcasts, hear more Kiss podcast playlist and listen
live on the Free iHeart app.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
The Pickup with Brittle and Laura Burn Bady your work,
our windows down, that's my world.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
Risen the dust only good fabs all down.
Speaker 3 (00:30):
I don't march, but yeah I'm not.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
I'll big get and what I want it, don't mattle
where this is the pickup?
Speaker 1 (00:39):
Hi, guys, you're listening to the Pickup with Britt Harkley
and Laura Ben.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
I have been waiting with baited breath for your daughter
Marley May's facial update.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
So yes, Ma, if you missed the show, my daughter Marley,
she drew on her face at dinner time that she
did with permanent marker, and then we had to send.
Speaker 3 (00:56):
Her some unfortunately, you know what deserves says, all right.
Speaker 4 (00:59):
Why are you leaving the permanent mark around at dinnert time?
Speaker 3 (01:01):
No, I didn't.
Speaker 1 (01:02):
She got off a chair, she went to the drawer,
she got it thinking it was an orm texture and
drew a clown face on a SA says all right,
and it wouldn't come off, and she went to.
Speaker 3 (01:09):
School with clownfex. I love your laughing. Let's finish that sentence.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
She did, unfortunately have to go to school still with
the clown face because she's not sick.
Speaker 3 (01:17):
But you know what, it was a lesson.
Speaker 1 (01:18):
It was a really important life lesson about consequences.
Speaker 3 (01:21):
And she's not going to draw on a face, she's
to be fair.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
She came home and most the teacher has gotten most
of the last bit off, so she's looking pretty good.
Speaker 3 (01:28):
They just nah.
Speaker 1 (01:29):
I think they just went and like we had tried,
and we'd done a pretty good job on it, and
I think that it was just wear and tear overtime
it had come off, so they got a bit more
off and now she's good again, but she will not
be drawing on her face.
Speaker 4 (01:41):
And what about little older derby, the little one?
Speaker 1 (01:43):
Now she still has eye shadow on. So she drew
with permanent marker on her I lid and that's still
there because you can't rub as vigorously.
Speaker 3 (01:49):
So she looks like she was like a drag queen
and that's going to stay for a while. Bless us all.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
Now it is Thursday, which means it's time for us
gun cut, where you guys call in with your deepest, darkest,
biggest dilemmas and we do our best to answer them.
We do this on our podcast Life on Cut every
week and we have Jessica on the phone. Jessica, what
is your big dilemma?
Speaker 5 (02:11):
So my child was best friend of thirty years decided
to pull out as a bridesmaid super close to our
wedding last year and we haven't spoken in eighteen months.
Speaker 3 (02:22):
Oh wow, so she didn't come to the wedding at all?
Speaker 5 (02:24):
Then, well that was the thing. She said, she couldn't
support me as a bridesmaid, but she could still come
to the wedding. I was like, really, I was really conflicted.
I was like, how can you support me not standing
up there, but you can still support me at the wedding.
Speaker 4 (02:40):
Did she come to the wedding at all?
Speaker 3 (02:41):
Or you said don't worry No.
Speaker 5 (02:44):
I ended up. I had this really big conversation with
my mum. Because they're from small towns, everyone's friended everyone,
and my mum really wanted me to forgive her an
inviter to the wedding and I said no, I couldn't.
And it's still mine of my mom's topic of conversation
most week.
Speaker 1 (03:02):
What was the what was the reasoning that she gave
you when she pulled out of being a bridesmaid.
Speaker 5 (03:08):
She never really gave me a reason. She just said, Oh,
I just don't think I'm in the right place to
do it right now. And she'd gone through a divorce herself,
and I just thought, oh, must be really hard for her, Like,
of course that's fine. Do you think got deeper and deeper?
And yeah, do you.
Speaker 4 (03:22):
Think it has anything to do with like funds?
Speaker 2 (03:25):
You know, like sometimes weddings for bridesmaids and stuff are
really expensive if you're doing hens and then you're doing
dresses and maybe this travel, Like do you think I
had anything to do with money?
Speaker 5 (03:34):
I don't think so, Like I did say to her,
if money is an issue, like I'm so happy to
cover it mmm, And that was I paid for a
lot of their stuff anyways.
Speaker 3 (03:42):
So does she like her husband?
Speaker 2 (03:44):
She has had a bit of a problem with him
from the start, So maybe it comes down to that.
Maybe she's like, I just can't support this wedding for
some reason.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
Had there been any dramas closer to the wedding that
you know of, like as in they had they had
any disagreements or anything.
Speaker 5 (03:58):
Like that, It never sort of came to a head.
And like, my husband is so lovely and she just
I think when she went through her divorce, I was single,
she wanted to be single together, and then I ended
up meeting him, and then it sort of really disrupted
her plans.
Speaker 3 (04:14):
Mmmm.
Speaker 1 (04:14):
Okay, Look, I mean I feel like it's one of
those things where how do you feel without having her
in your life? Like is it you know, if it's
a friendship that you think about in you mourn over,
then I would say, yeah, like have a conversation with
her and rekindle the friendship and see if you guys
can get it back on track.
Speaker 3 (04:31):
But if you're.
Speaker 1 (04:32):
Actually at a point in your life where you're like,
do you know what, My life is easier and happier
and it's less drama without her, then I don't think
you have to be friends with everyone, even if they
are like a long standing childhood friend, just because you know,
it sounds like there's been a few things going on
behind the scenes as well, especially without the explanation.
Speaker 5 (04:50):
Yeah, I agree with all of that. I don't feel
like I'm missing her in my life. But then I
look back and I'm like, I am sad that that
friendship did come to an end.
Speaker 2 (04:58):
I think there's this expectation that if you've been childhood friends,
that you know, just because you've been friends with twenty years,
that you have to maintain a friendship. Like there are
seasons and people can grow apart in.
Speaker 3 (05:07):
Two different things.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
And I think if you guys are actually fine and
you don't miss her or ned he, I know it
sounds horrible, but like we do have different friendships at
different chapters of our life. And I don't think if
the only reason your question if you need to go
and repair that is because your mum's telling you to,
that's not reason enough. And also, if this is what
I think, right, if you do go and repair that friendship, now,
(05:30):
it's not going back to what it was. This is
always going to be there, and it's always going to
be there between you guys. It's always going to probably
be a little bit awkward and maybe even forced. I'd
be probably letting dead dogs lie.
Speaker 5 (05:42):
The problem is there were three of us in miss friendship,
and I'm still friends with the other one. All right,
We've just had a wedding and we saw each other
at the wedding and it's all very awkward, and I
know they'll be like babies in the future.
Speaker 4 (05:55):
Oh this is too messy for me. I'm not going
back there.
Speaker 1 (05:57):
I think either you know, except that the friendship is
done and move on, or if you really want some
closure in it and the thing is not so much closure,
If you really want the friendship to be something, I
think that you know, having a conversation around the why
and the what happened kind of thing and unpacking that
might be worthwhile. But also, she doesn't get along with
(06:18):
your husband, good buddy luck. It just sounds like a
lot of drama.
Speaker 2 (06:20):
I would be But you know what, like as much
as I've just said this, I'm thinking about it, I
actually really.
Speaker 3 (06:25):
Want to know why she pulled out.
Speaker 2 (06:28):
So maybe maybe you can fake it so you want
to repair it to get the info and then be like.
Speaker 5 (06:33):
Time, I'm like, no, I'm done with this.
Speaker 3 (06:36):
Yeah, you don't need the drama.
Speaker 4 (06:37):
I think it's too much hassle.
Speaker 2 (06:38):
Yeah, Park that one you need a new triangle friend
and you'll be okay, you need a new third part
one day.
Speaker 5 (06:45):
I would love to know why. I also don't want
to ye, not enough to bring something up state.
Speaker 1 (06:50):
Yeah No, Jessica, thanks so much for the call.
Speaker 5 (06:53):
That's okay, Thanks for having me Laura.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
This week, we've been touching on bullying no way week.
It's just like a bit of an education surrounding bullying
in the school system and what.
Speaker 4 (07:03):
To do about it.
Speaker 2 (07:04):
Yeah, and I came across this fascinating article that came
out of Well, actually you can guess. For seven years running,
one country has been named the happiest country in the world.
Speaker 1 (07:16):
Isn't it like Sweden or somewhere close sort of Denmark?
Speaker 3 (07:20):
Great?
Speaker 2 (07:21):
But interestingly they're attributing it back to something that they
have brought into the school curriculum. They have a dedicated
hour a week for kids starting from kindergarten.
Speaker 4 (07:33):
That's called Empathy Class.
Speaker 2 (07:35):
Like it's an hour of pure empathy where they learn
about their feelings and they learn how to interact with
each other.
Speaker 4 (07:40):
And it is just like, I guess, a safe space.
Speaker 3 (07:44):
God, isn't this a.
Speaker 1 (07:45):
Step up from when we were oh kids at school?
It was like do maths?
Speaker 3 (07:48):
Do English? Get your writing pen?
Speaker 4 (07:49):
You got pushed over in the sandpit.
Speaker 3 (07:51):
Deal with it, tough titties.
Speaker 2 (07:52):
Absolutely, But it's like these students are sitting in a
circle and they share their real problems, they share their
friendship dramas they talk about being left out, Like I
guess it's a way of encouraging Hey, you're not a loser.
Speaker 4 (08:03):
If you got left out, Like, hey, who got left
out today?
Speaker 3 (08:06):
Oh? Why is that?
Speaker 4 (08:06):
How did that make you feel?
Speaker 2 (08:07):
And it's just about sharing feelings, But they're talking about
the fact that empathy is actually a learned trade.
Speaker 3 (08:15):
Of course, Yeah, why wouldn't we be putting that into
the schools.
Speaker 1 (08:18):
Also really good for like little boys as well being
a part of this, especially when you know, you hear
about all the toxic masculinity stuff and everything that kids
are exposed to online, but sitting down and being like, Okay, well,
how did that make you feel? I do think though,
you know, I mean from what I have a very
small amount of experience in terms of like the school
system now, but I do think that things are very
(08:39):
different from when we were at school.
Speaker 3 (08:40):
Like when we were at school.
Speaker 1 (08:42):
There was like no sex education, there was no bullying,
There was no as I mean there's loads of bullying,
there was no bullying education. It just kind of was
like part and parcel of being at school and yet
to figure it out, whereas now we know so much
more about kids have anxieties or we know so much
more around like how to teach children to be kinder
to each other. One of the things it's implemented at
(09:02):
the school that my girls go to is they have
like a buddy bench. So they have this buddy bench system.
Basically like if a kid's sitting on the buddy bench,
it means they have no one to play with. And
you think about when we were kids, if that had
been the case, you would have felt.
Speaker 3 (09:16):
Like it was putting. You would have had a.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
Bit ostracized even just going and sitting on that buddy bench,
you know, whereas now Marley says, she goes, oh, yeah,
I went it sat on the buddy bench, and I'm like, oh,
you don't have anyone to play with? She goes, no,
I just didn't light the games my friends were playing,
so I waited for someone else with a better game.
Speaker 4 (09:30):
I was like, okay, it's like tap into yeah.
Speaker 1 (09:32):
And like the kids are so receptive to this type
of buddy system.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
Well, not only are they ranked as one of the
happiest nations in the world, but only six point three
percent of Danish students experience regular bullying, which is one
of the last, if not the lowest statistic in Europe,
but long term studies showed that these kids that do
learn empathy young are more likely to graduate, which have
better relationships in yeah's no doubt that one hold down.
Speaker 4 (09:56):
Their full time jobs. Like I guess you don't really think.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
Of how important something like just empathy is because when
we think of our school education exactly that it's mouth,
it's English.
Speaker 1 (10:06):
You know. You know what changed in Australia recently. I
mean I think it was last year year before the
teachers consent movement. If anyone hasn't heard of that, it's
Chanelle Contos. She lobbied the government to bring in this
teach us consent. Now it's part of the curriculum. Teaching
consent and consent isn't just about sex education. It's consent
and what consent means in all different forms is part
(10:26):
of school curriculum. I reckon having an empathy class as
being part of school curriculum would be like such an
incredible way to reduce bullying and really just make kids
understand even if they don't understand that what they're doing
is not nice, they can at least comprehend or how
would it feel if someone did that to me?
Speaker 2 (10:43):
Well, I will leave you with this one actionable change
that they suggest for you guys parents at home.
Speaker 4 (10:49):
It's as simple as that, Laura.
Speaker 2 (10:50):
When a kid is telling you about bullying or maybe
they've been bullying in a way without knowing it's bullying,
instead of saying, hey, be nice, you just change the
sentence to how do you think they felt?
Speaker 4 (11:00):
That's as simple as that.
Speaker 2 (11:01):
Instead of saying be nice, it's how do you think
they feel when you do that? So, yeah, I think
if you want to do anything at home, that's it.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
It has been a long term since you have been
online dating.
Speaker 2 (11:12):
I know I've been off for three years, but I
was on for ten.
Speaker 3 (11:16):
You did hit them hard back in the day.
Speaker 2 (11:18):
I feel like, where is Yes, I had every dating app?
Speaker 4 (11:21):
Sure, well, I don't know.
Speaker 3 (11:23):
I'm sorry. Is this a Britney roast?
Speaker 2 (11:25):
No?
Speaker 1 (11:25):
My question is were you using online dating at the
time when the.
Speaker 3 (11:29):
Prompts came in?
Speaker 2 (11:30):
You know?
Speaker 5 (11:30):
Like?
Speaker 1 (11:31):
Yeah? Now, now, it's like because back in when I
was online dating, this is a long time ago.
Speaker 3 (11:35):
Now it was just swipe swipe swipes from a.
Speaker 4 (11:37):
Picture like a fishing picture.
Speaker 1 (11:39):
Yeah, it was just men holding fish. And now at
least those men have to explain the fish.
Speaker 2 (11:43):
I've been through all the updates, I've been through the
paid subscriptions, I've done it all, but I was I was.
Speaker 4 (11:48):
Deep in the prompts. I hated the prompts.
Speaker 1 (11:49):
Okay, what were some of the prompts that you had
to fill out?
Speaker 3 (11:53):
Because you can choose them as well, can't you.
Speaker 2 (11:55):
Yeah, so it comes up with like there might be
like fifty or sixty different prompts for example, but you
have to just pick like four or five. Some of
the apps actually make you pick a minimum of three, or.
Speaker 4 (12:05):
You can't even have an app.
Speaker 3 (12:06):
You can't.
Speaker 4 (12:07):
You can't have a profile now without least a couple
of prompts.
Speaker 3 (12:09):
But it's like that though, so at least you've got
to show a bitty personality.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
It's like we would get along if and then you
gotta feel it out.
Speaker 3 (12:16):
You love ice cream, we're the same type of crazy.
If you're both on medication.
Speaker 2 (12:20):
On the weekends, you'll find me asleep next to you
in bed.
Speaker 4 (12:23):
Hell, but that's that's that's what I say.
Speaker 3 (12:26):
Okay, right, did you you did? God? The reason why
I'm bringing this up because.
Speaker 1 (12:32):
So Essa Perral, she's a relationship expert, like we adore her.
Speaker 3 (12:34):
We've had her on our podcast, Life Uncut podcast. She
is truly amazing.
Speaker 1 (12:39):
So she's teened up with Hinge and she's done a
whole lot of new prompts.
Speaker 3 (12:42):
Some of them I'm like, yes, I get it, I
love it. Ah, you know, tell me more about yourself
and other ones.
Speaker 1 (12:46):
I'm just not sure whether I would find it really
cringey if someone was answering these things before I met them.
Speaker 2 (12:52):
You couldn't online date now, don't ever split up with
Matt because it's you just can't do it.
Speaker 3 (12:56):
You would drown. Okay, hear me. Look, I don't trust me.
Speaker 1 (13:00):
I have to go on a reality TV show to
find my husband in the first place.
Speaker 3 (13:03):
I don't trust my tasty men apart from him.
Speaker 1 (13:05):
All right, Okay, here are some of the prompts that
are host to inspire more surprise, curiosity, and playfulness between people.
Oh hit me, okay, number one in my friend group,
I am the one who goes home first.
Speaker 3 (13:22):
Okay. Something my pet thinks about me. I'm a legend.
Speaker 2 (13:26):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (13:27):
De la Le's got great taste. It's not a vacation
unless we're.
Speaker 3 (13:31):
Not at work.
Speaker 1 (13:34):
An award my family would give me biggest procrastinator. I
could stay up all night talking about Taylor Swift. Where
I go when I want to feel a little bit
more like myself. All right, look, guys, I would love
(13:54):
to know. Send them on into us. You can go
to our socials to pick up and send it because.
Speaker 3 (13:58):
I would love to know. What do you answer to
these prompts? How do you describe yourself?
Speaker 1 (14:02):
Also, if you've ever come across anything just ridiculously cringe,
send them to us as well. You know, I feel
like there's more to this. You enter this one before
you go. All right, let's go. Let's do it.
Speaker 3 (14:11):
You'd never know it, but I can pick things up
with my feet. Everyone knows that. Yet should put it
all in social media. Alright, Look, guys, that's it from us.
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