July 24, 2025 • 16 mins
ASK UNCUT: Is it smarter to have a baby first or get a dog first? Experts believe online dating might be dead and Britt has a new parasocial relationship with a celebrity.
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Speaker 1 (00:10):
Hi heart Podcasts.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
Hear my Kiss podcast playlist and listen live on the
Free iHeart app.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
A good Pickup with Britt Hockley and Laura ben Bady.
What our windows down? That's my world? Rison the dust
only good labs all down. I don't much, but yeah
I know I'll big get and what I want it
don't matter where goes. This is the pickup.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
Hi, guys, you're listening to the Pickup with Britt Hockley
and Laura ben Laws.
Speaker 1 (00:43):
I was just talking to my husband Ben on the
way in here, and I always get a real insight
into like the male mind when I talk to him
because he plays football, so he's always surrounded by like
thirty to forty guys. They spend all their time together
locker room chat. Yeah, locker room chat, but it's always interesting.
Sometimes it's not what you think the locker room chat
would be. Anyway. I was like house today and so, yeah,
(01:04):
we were having some interesting conversations today, so do please
do tell? And he said, oh, it came up, would
you take a bullet for your partner? Like that's that's
the good the question that they that they answered, And
I said, oh, that's the strange thing to be talking about.
He's like, yeah, I said, well, where though, where's the
bullet going? Well? Is it? Is it lethal? Or is
(01:24):
it just like it's in the leg. That is a
woman's response. I think they mean like you'd probably die.
I think I think the meaning like you're sacrificing yourself.
I know, and in my head, assuming that you know,
the answer would be of course, I said what was
what was the response? And he said only two people
said that they would, fair. I don't think many people
(01:44):
would actually, well, Ben said he would, but I'll never
know the truth. I just think it's very.
Speaker 2 (01:50):
Easy to say how you're going to behave in those situations,
and then if push comes to shave, you'll either be
the hero or.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
You're going to run away like it's it's you're never
going to know. It is our favorite time ask gunkut.
We do this every single week on our podcast Life
un Cut podcast. You guys writing or call up with
your deepest, darkest problems predicaments. But today we have one
we haven't really had before. We have Casey on the line,
who is having a bit of a problem deciding what
(02:15):
comes first, a baby or a dog. Casey, Welcome to
the show talk us through the situation.
Speaker 3 (02:22):
So basically, I would really love a dog, and my
partner is super hesitant because they want to get pregnant.
Speaker 1 (02:32):
I don't understand why you have to have a baby
or a dog.
Speaker 2 (02:34):
Is the dog a puppy and you're wanting to do
it at the same time, because that would be.
Speaker 3 (02:37):
A lot Well, no, it would be a puppy. We
would have it like a year beforehand. But they're afraid
that we're gonna stop loving the dog, or that it's
going to be too hard for us. But I also
see it as a bit of a test.
Speaker 1 (02:53):
It will be a test, for sure. I don't think
you're gonna stop. I mean, I don't have a kid.
Laura has a multiple kids and a dog. But I
don't think you're gonna stop loving the dog. But it
is a lot to be taking on because a puppy
is really hard work, and puppies aren't puppies for like
two or three months.
Speaker 2 (03:07):
Puppies can be Yeah, I mean it's interesting because no
one wants to admit that. Like like when I had
Buster so Busses, my dog. I had him for quite
a few years before having children, and he was he
came with me everywhere, Like everything I did, Buster just
was in tow all the time. That became a little
bit trickier to manage when I had a baby. So
(03:28):
you know, of course he still gets all the love,
he gets all the attention, but he wasn't as much
as in like if I was dragging around a pram
and the baby and then having to get from one
place to another, the pram was.
Speaker 1 (03:40):
In the back.
Speaker 2 (03:40):
There was no space for the dog to be in
the back. Mind you, he's also enormous, And I want
to be careful about saying this. I know there's gonna
be so many people here and who are like, you
should not treat your dog any different. Of course in
a perfect world, but like there's less time for everyone
because you're bringing in a whole human into the world.
So for a lot of people, it deprioritizes a little bit,
(04:01):
but you don't love them any less, and it rebalances
once you get a grip on the whole motherhood thing
and you and you figure it out and you find
your feet and then you know. And now in our situation,
we've got two kids and our dog adapted.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
He's eleven. He loves life and now he's got two
kids terrorizing. I think that's the thing. Laws he's eleven,
and so even when you started having kids, he was
quite old six at the time. Is there a way
you could maybe adopt a dog that's not a puppy,
or get, you know, a dog that's a little bit
older in life, that's not as needy and as energetic
as you know.
Speaker 3 (04:31):
I mean, that's not a bad idea, that's a good compromise.
But I think the idea of having a puppy is
seeing how he raised something together.
Speaker 2 (04:40):
Different a baby dog and a baby human.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
They're so different. They yes, yeah, they are, they really are. Controversially,
I reckon.
Speaker 2 (04:50):
A puppy is sometimes harder than a human.
Speaker 1 (04:52):
I really do. They're harder to like just I know,
you can kind of leave them at home and stuff
like that.
Speaker 2 (04:57):
You come home, they've eaten through your underwear, They've pissed
on your laptop.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
Like puppies are hard work. Yeah, I would agree.
Speaker 3 (05:03):
Okay, so what's the decision here?
Speaker 1 (05:06):
Advice? My advice is get a dog, for sure, because
you know, my dog is the best thing in my life.
Get a dog. I just don't think you should probably
be having a baby and a dog at the exact
same time. The way you train your puppy is like
instrumental in for that dog's the rest of its life.
Like the way how easy it is for you in
your day to day, how well it's trained, how well
(05:27):
it obeys you, Like the way you set up your dog.
And I hate saying set up, but it's so true
that makes the rest of its life, you know, make
or break. I'm confused. Is it you who wants the puppy?
Speaker 3 (05:39):
So I want the puppy, but she thinks it's going
to be too much work, and I think it's a
good test.
Speaker 1 (05:47):
It might be.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
Who do you think is going to end up doing
the majority share of the puppy load?
Speaker 3 (05:51):
Me?
Speaker 1 (05:52):
You reckon?
Speaker 3 (05:54):
All right?
Speaker 1 (05:55):
Well, maybe look it might work. Good luck, that's all
I have to say. Good luck. A baby and a
puppy is hard work.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
Now we are asking the question is online dating dead?
And the reason for this is because there has been
some figures that's come out that said there has been
a huge decline not just in the amount of people
who are using online dating apps, but also I mean
bumble has come out and said that they've had to
lay off like massive amounts of their workforce because simply
the apps are not as popular as what they used
(06:23):
to be, say, five, ten years ago. The interesting thing
about this is that literally everyone in this room has
met their partners via a dating app except for me.
I met him on a reality TV show, which I
would say is one step worse.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
Yeah, definitely not the same. No, but don't get me wrong.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
I exhausted all the dating apps, every single one, and
then I went on a reality TV show to meet
someone because I couldn't find them on the apps.
Speaker 1 (06:47):
Yeah, three of us here online dating. My sister got
married from Tinder. So many people I know are in
relationships on actually more people than not that I know
in my life are in relationships based off online dating.
But just like you said, Laura, to give you a
statistic match group who own Tinder and then Bumble is
independent of that, but have laid off like two percent
(07:08):
of their staff and CEOs in the last year to
eighteen months. That I think comes back to not only
the fact that people are finding online dating hard and
hopeless and unsuccessful, but they're starting to charge for online
dating now like online dating used to be free, or
maybe you would pay like two dollars to unlock an
extra feature. It is so expensive now to online date.
(07:31):
You need subscriptions or you're not going to be shown
to people. Do you want to boost your profile to
make sure the top people see you pay forty dollars
a month.
Speaker 2 (07:38):
I would have thought people would have paid for romance
like you would have paid for love. But maybe it's
because they're not having the success right, Like people are
paying for a certain amount of time and then they're
not getting any return on that investment because they're not
going on dates. Yeah, people are maybe like sending a
few messages and then you get left on red or
like someone's hot then they're cold. I remember back in
the day, you would only pay if you'd exhausted everyone
(07:59):
in your area and you needed more people. You could
pay to like extend your area out. That's how like
they would make more. I guess incidental revenue.
Speaker 1 (08:06):
I mean I paid to meet my husband. That sounds weird.
But the dating app that I was on, which was rare,
was like a subscription service. You had to pay monthly
to be on it. But I think what that did
I mean? And maybe it was ahead of its time
because you definitely did pay for that much earlier than
I paid for Tinder or bumble, and I have paid
for them all. I was online dating for like a decade,
(08:28):
and I had every app besides like the og you know,
like plenty of fish and stuff like. I didn't have those,
but I saw the creep of every app slowly start
to bring in a monetary value. Yeah, and the problem
is people now that they're paying it's a product, and
you are not getting anything from your product. So people
are paying x amount a month and seventy percent of
(08:51):
people are not meeting people.
Speaker 2 (08:52):
Well that's the thing, right, So seven and ten users
report that their conversations rarely ever like actually turned into
actual dates, which if you're then paying for that service
and you're not getting a date out of it, like
that would be so incredibly deflating. Also for the people
who were swipes swiping, putting in so much energy not
getting the matches or not getting any conversations, like what
that does to your self esteem.
Speaker 1 (09:13):
But there's also a second part of this.
Speaker 2 (09:15):
I think on one hand, we can talk about people
moving away from the abs and how people are trying
to meet in real life and blah blah blah, But
I also think that there is a massive push now
of people who are choosing to be single and not
out of loneliness, not because it's a last resort, but
because they actually are very happy in being single. And
I think for so long we looked at being single
(09:36):
as like this purgatory between when your next relationship was
going to come around. But there's some really interesting information
that's come out. The Culture Cut did a census and
they predicted that by twenty thirty, nearly half of women
age twenty five to forty four are expected to be.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
Single and child free.
Speaker 2 (09:52):
And that's not because they aren't able to find a.
Speaker 1 (09:55):
Person to settle down with. That is by choice.
Speaker 2 (09:58):
There's three main reasons women are prioritizing their personal growth,
their own financial freedom. They're also choosing careers over relationships,
and also that the divorce rates arising and a lot
of people are not getting remarried after their first failed relationship.
Speaker 1 (10:12):
This doesn't surprise me at all when you think of
the reason a lot of people used to have to
get married. And we're getting into a whole other conversation here,
but a lot of women had to get married for
financial security. You know, we didn't have the education that
we have now, or the opportunities to progress in a career,
or to focus on a career, or to choose a career.
We're also told that like you got married and you
had kids. It's different now, like financial independence means everything,
(10:34):
and so many more women are realizing that they don't
have to rely on anyone, and in fact, they're happier.
You can be far happier on your own. Some of
the best years of my life, and like, obviously I'm
married now. I loved being single, like not having the responsibility,
not owing anything to anyone, doing whatever you wanted to do.
Speaker 2 (10:53):
Yeah, but I think that that's such a hard thing
for a lot of people to realize because for so long,
and it's a lot of like undoing, right, Like for
so long we've been told that you get into a relationship,
you have children, you get married, Like that's kind of
what that's the ultimate goal is like to be in
a good, healthy relationship. And you know, I even see
it in my in my mother in law, Ellie, she's
(11:13):
been single for a really long time. She's so content,
she's so happy, and she still sometimes has to say, like,
you know, people always assimilate being on your own with
potentially being lonely or missing companionship, and she's like, my
life has never been more stress free than what it
has been since I've been single. And she embraced that
after you know, her divorce. And I think a lot
(11:35):
of people have realized that that actually, you know, you
can be single and be completely content.
Speaker 1 (11:38):
It doesn't equate to loneliness. Yeah, and people realize they
don't have to have kids anymore, so they don't have
to find the spouse to have this see twenty thirty.
Speaker 2 (11:46):
Population decline is apparently incoming, Laura.
Speaker 1 (11:50):
Last week I came across some pretty big information and
I haven't been able to get out of my mind.
Like I have not stopped thinking about it. It is
living rent free. I am beside myself with happiness for
this person. The problem is it's a person that I
don't know, but I have this like weird parasocial relationship
with them. So hear me out. The biggest crush of
(12:10):
my life is Jennifer Aniston.
Speaker 2 (12:13):
If I thought it was the guy from Outlander, Sam Hwan, Yeah,
you've got to stop talking about him though now because
it's a bit more accessible.
Speaker 1 (12:19):
I think Brits let into his DMS. We were going
to go on a date once. I can't actually talk
about it, Jennifer Anison.
Speaker 2 (12:25):
That wasn't Enny on my bingo cards for Annison to me,
I don't know what it is.
Speaker 1 (12:29):
She's the apple of my eye. I've just had a
crush on her forever. If I could come back in
this world and be someone, I feel like I'd want
to be her. I loved her in everything that she's in.
I think she seems like a really wonderful person from
what she puts forward to the world.
Speaker 2 (12:42):
I did not pick you as like, how have I
known you for six years and didn't know that you
were a closet Jennifer Addison Fairt.
Speaker 1 (12:49):
I've definitely said it before. I think you've checked out. No,
I love her. I knew you liked her. I didn't
realize you with this far up rally. I also just
think she's beautiful. I think she's so funny. She seems
really nice. But I think a big part of it,
to be honest, I think I connected with her a
lot over the years because she's had a horrific dating life.
Like I know, she has been through the Ringer and
I went I don't like to pick sides, but when
(13:11):
it was Jen and Angelina, I was always tim Jen. Okay.
Speaker 2 (13:14):
I always thought about this because, like, remember when Mister
and Missus Smith was a thing, so cast your mind's back.
That was when Brad went and he filmed the movie
Mister and Missus Smith with Angelina Jolie, and that's when
their affair started, allegedly. I'm sure neither of them are
getting to come and sue me if I say the
wrong bed.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
I don't know they are suing each other.
Speaker 2 (13:31):
But imagine your husband having an affair with who was
quoted as the hottest woman in the world at the time.
Speaker 1 (13:38):
I wouldn't let him film the movie.
Speaker 2 (13:39):
And everyone saying that they ship that relationship like you're
you're married in real life and the public are saying, oh,
you should leave your wife and go be with Angelina Jolie, And.
Speaker 4 (13:48):
He did, and I just thought yes, And I just
thought she's always from not just that situation, but she
was with John Mayer, she was with Vinceborn Thaughty Boys.
But I've always thought she held herself with such class
like in that breakup. I cannot imagine what it would
be like for the world to have shipped Angelina and
Brad when it was your literal husband, it was very
(14:08):
obviously an affair.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
She was always so quiet and just like, I don't know.
She always took the high road, and I had a
lot of respect for her. But she's just come out
that she's in a new relationship, and she hasn't been
in a relationship in ages, and she's been spotted with
this new man, and I'm just like so happy for her.
It was weird. I felt like I could have cried
with her happiness, because she looks really happy. Hear me out.
He's an author, speaker and coach. His name is Jim Curtis.
(14:31):
I know, I just I just here for it. Let
me just talk about my happiness. Please tell me more
about it. What else did he do? Well? Did you
look at his Wikipedia page? This is why it's interesting.
This is why I think it's funny, because I am
slightly concerned for her. He's a hypnotherapist, a neuro linguistic
programming practitioner. Well, has he hypnotized her into this? This
(14:53):
is like somebody sent help to her. Is she truly happy?
Or has he hypnotized her and trickter into relationship?
Speaker 2 (14:59):
Britt I think your concern for Jennifer Aniston has territory
where it's a little bit straight.
Speaker 1 (15:04):
But in all seriousness, can I show you him. He's
like a daddy, he's hot. Have a look.
Speaker 2 (15:09):
Yeah, he's nice, he's a beautiful he can hypnotize me anytime.
Speaker 1 (15:12):
Actually, that's not true. I've got a husband who I love,
who you fall asleep, who I fall asleep next to.
But I just think, like, I don't know. Parasocial relationships
are weird, Like there's a few people that you get
so invested with in life and then you have to
remind yourself that you don't actually know them.
Speaker 2 (15:25):
I don't think I have a parasocial relationship with anyone.
Speaker 1 (15:28):
You had one with Jason Momola. You were in a
relationship with him in your brain.
Speaker 2 (15:31):
No, I just thought he was hot and said I
would climb him like tree.
Speaker 1 (15:34):
But apart from that, No, I didn't. I didn't have
a relationship with you. I didn't know much about him.
I just I didn't know him. No, I didn't. I
clearly don't know him. I No, I don't think so.
Speaker 2 (15:43):
I don't think that there's anyone that I've really But
then again, you look at social media, for example, And
I think sometimes we follow people online, like there's definitely
other people who work in media or influencers who who
I've never met in real life, but I've met them online,
if that makes sense, Like, maybe that's my extent of
a parasocial relationship.
Speaker 1 (16:01):
Oh, you have full relationships with people online that you
have to remind yourself of We've never seen each other
in real life? Do you even know who I am?
Have we actually met?
Speaker 3 (16:08):
Like?
Speaker 1 (16:08):
Oh, do I just follow you online and know everything
about you?
Speaker 2 (16:11):
Which I think is now quite a weird phenomena because
back in the day, you'd have celebrities, you'd have movie stars,
and they were so inaccessible. The only time that you
got little bits of them was either through tabloid magazines
and most of the stuff was made up, or it
was because you've gone to see the movie that they're in.
Whereas now a lot of celebrities, and especially that middle
tier celebrity, share so much of their lives online and
(16:33):
they're also starring in films and everything else, and it's
like the accessibility to their life is what I think
makes people a bit obsessed with them.
Speaker 1 (16:40):
I would go so far as to say it's not
even the middle tier celebrities. Some of the biggest celebrities
in the world are like instagramming on selfies and stuff.
Speaker 2 (16:47):
Do you think that like a lot of them overshare.
I think it like it's justin Bieber's now. But then
a lot of massive celebrities don't need to be that
public because they've already got everything they need. They don't
need to share their entire lives because it's not a
bargaining chip for them.
Speaker 1 (16:59):
Yeah, you tell them, Laura. Anyway, that's it from us.
Hi heart Podcasts.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
Hear my Kiss podcast playlist and listen live on the
Free iHeart app.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
A good Pickup with Britt Hockley and Laura ben Bady.
What our windows down? That's my world? Rison the dust
only good labs all down. I don't much, but yeah
I know I'll big get and what I want it
don't matter where goes. This is the pickup.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
Hi, guys, you're listening to the Pickup with Britt Hockley
and Laura ben Laws.
Speaker 1 (00:43):
I was just talking to my husband Ben on the
way in here, and I always get a real insight
into like the male mind when I talk to him
because he plays football, so he's always surrounded by like
thirty to forty guys. They spend all their time together
locker room chat. Yeah, locker room chat, but it's always interesting.
Sometimes it's not what you think the locker room chat
would be. Anyway. I was like house today and so, yeah,
(01:04):
we were having some interesting conversations today, so do please
do tell? And he said, oh, it came up, would
you take a bullet for your partner? Like that's that's
the good the question that they that they answered, And
I said, oh, that's the strange thing to be talking about.
He's like, yeah, I said, well, where though, where's the
bullet going? Well? Is it? Is it lethal? Or is
(01:24):
it just like it's in the leg. That is a
woman's response. I think they mean like you'd probably die.
I think I think the meaning like you're sacrificing yourself.
I know, and in my head, assuming that you know,
the answer would be of course, I said what was
what was the response? And he said only two people
said that they would, fair. I don't think many people
(01:44):
would actually, well, Ben said he would, but I'll never
know the truth. I just think it's very.
Speaker 2 (01:50):
Easy to say how you're going to behave in those situations,
and then if push comes to shave, you'll either be
the hero or.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
You're going to run away like it's it's you're never
going to know. It is our favorite time ask gunkut.
We do this every single week on our podcast Life
un Cut podcast. You guys writing or call up with
your deepest, darkest problems predicaments. But today we have one
we haven't really had before. We have Casey on the line,
who is having a bit of a problem deciding what
(02:15):
comes first, a baby or a dog. Casey, Welcome to
the show talk us through the situation.
Speaker 3 (02:22):
So basically, I would really love a dog, and my
partner is super hesitant because they want to get pregnant.
Speaker 1 (02:32):
I don't understand why you have to have a baby
or a dog.
Speaker 2 (02:34):
Is the dog a puppy and you're wanting to do
it at the same time, because that would be.
Speaker 3 (02:37):
A lot Well, no, it would be a puppy. We
would have it like a year beforehand. But they're afraid
that we're gonna stop loving the dog, or that it's
going to be too hard for us. But I also
see it as a bit of a test.
Speaker 1 (02:53):
It will be a test, for sure. I don't think
you're gonna stop. I mean, I don't have a kid.
Laura has a multiple kids and a dog. But I
don't think you're gonna stop loving the dog. But it
is a lot to be taking on because a puppy
is really hard work, and puppies aren't puppies for like
two or three months.
Speaker 2 (03:07):
Puppies can be Yeah, I mean it's interesting because no
one wants to admit that. Like like when I had
Buster so Busses, my dog. I had him for quite
a few years before having children, and he was he
came with me everywhere, Like everything I did, Buster just
was in tow all the time. That became a little
bit trickier to manage when I had a baby. So
(03:28):
you know, of course he still gets all the love,
he gets all the attention, but he wasn't as much
as in like if I was dragging around a pram
and the baby and then having to get from one
place to another, the pram was.
Speaker 1 (03:40):
In the back.
Speaker 2 (03:40):
There was no space for the dog to be in
the back. Mind you, he's also enormous, And I want
to be careful about saying this. I know there's gonna
be so many people here and who are like, you
should not treat your dog any different. Of course in
a perfect world, but like there's less time for everyone
because you're bringing in a whole human into the world.
So for a lot of people, it deprioritizes a little bit,
(04:01):
but you don't love them any less, and it rebalances
once you get a grip on the whole motherhood thing
and you and you figure it out and you find
your feet and then you know. And now in our situation,
we've got two kids and our dog adapted.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
He's eleven. He loves life and now he's got two
kids terrorizing. I think that's the thing. Laws he's eleven,
and so even when you started having kids, he was
quite old six at the time. Is there a way
you could maybe adopt a dog that's not a puppy,
or get, you know, a dog that's a little bit
older in life, that's not as needy and as energetic
as you know.
Speaker 3 (04:31):
I mean, that's not a bad idea, that's a good compromise.
But I think the idea of having a puppy is
seeing how he raised something together.
Speaker 2 (04:40):
Different a baby dog and a baby human.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
They're so different. They yes, yeah, they are, they really are. Controversially,
I reckon.
Speaker 2 (04:50):
A puppy is sometimes harder than a human.
Speaker 1 (04:52):
I really do. They're harder to like just I know,
you can kind of leave them at home and stuff
like that.
Speaker 2 (04:57):
You come home, they've eaten through your underwear, They've pissed
on your laptop.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
Like puppies are hard work. Yeah, I would agree.
Speaker 3 (05:03):
Okay, so what's the decision here?
Speaker 1 (05:06):
Advice? My advice is get a dog, for sure, because
you know, my dog is the best thing in my life.
Get a dog. I just don't think you should probably
be having a baby and a dog at the exact
same time. The way you train your puppy is like
instrumental in for that dog's the rest of its life.
Like the way how easy it is for you in
your day to day, how well it's trained, how well
(05:27):
it obeys you, Like the way you set up your dog.
And I hate saying set up, but it's so true
that makes the rest of its life, you know, make
or break. I'm confused. Is it you who wants the puppy?
Speaker 3 (05:39):
So I want the puppy, but she thinks it's going
to be too much work, and I think it's a
good test.
Speaker 1 (05:47):
It might be.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
Who do you think is going to end up doing
the majority share of the puppy load?
Speaker 3 (05:51):
Me?
Speaker 1 (05:52):
You reckon?
Speaker 3 (05:54):
All right?
Speaker 1 (05:55):
Well, maybe look it might work. Good luck, that's all
I have to say. Good luck. A baby and a
puppy is hard work.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
Now we are asking the question is online dating dead?
And the reason for this is because there has been
some figures that's come out that said there has been
a huge decline not just in the amount of people
who are using online dating apps, but also I mean
bumble has come out and said that they've had to
lay off like massive amounts of their workforce because simply
the apps are not as popular as what they used
(06:23):
to be, say, five, ten years ago. The interesting thing
about this is that literally everyone in this room has
met their partners via a dating app except for me.
I met him on a reality TV show, which I
would say is one step worse.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
Yeah, definitely not the same. No, but don't get me wrong.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
I exhausted all the dating apps, every single one, and
then I went on a reality TV show to meet
someone because I couldn't find them on the apps.
Speaker 1 (06:47):
Yeah, three of us here online dating. My sister got
married from Tinder. So many people I know are in
relationships on actually more people than not that I know
in my life are in relationships based off online dating.
But just like you said, Laura, to give you a
statistic match group who own Tinder and then Bumble is
independent of that, but have laid off like two percent
(07:08):
of their staff and CEOs in the last year to
eighteen months. That I think comes back to not only
the fact that people are finding online dating hard and
hopeless and unsuccessful, but they're starting to charge for online
dating now like online dating used to be free, or
maybe you would pay like two dollars to unlock an
extra feature. It is so expensive now to online date.
(07:31):
You need subscriptions or you're not going to be shown
to people. Do you want to boost your profile to
make sure the top people see you pay forty dollars
a month.
Speaker 2 (07:38):
I would have thought people would have paid for romance
like you would have paid for love. But maybe it's
because they're not having the success right, Like people are
paying for a certain amount of time and then they're
not getting any return on that investment because they're not
going on dates. Yeah, people are maybe like sending a
few messages and then you get left on red or
like someone's hot then they're cold. I remember back in
the day, you would only pay if you'd exhausted everyone
(07:59):
in your area and you needed more people. You could
pay to like extend your area out. That's how like
they would make more. I guess incidental revenue.
Speaker 1 (08:06):
I mean I paid to meet my husband. That sounds weird.
But the dating app that I was on, which was rare,
was like a subscription service. You had to pay monthly
to be on it. But I think what that did
I mean? And maybe it was ahead of its time
because you definitely did pay for that much earlier than
I paid for Tinder or bumble, and I have paid
for them all. I was online dating for like a decade,
(08:28):
and I had every app besides like the og you know,
like plenty of fish and stuff like. I didn't have those,
but I saw the creep of every app slowly start
to bring in a monetary value. Yeah, and the problem
is people now that they're paying it's a product, and
you are not getting anything from your product. So people
are paying x amount a month and seventy percent of
(08:51):
people are not meeting people.
Speaker 2 (08:52):
Well that's the thing, right, So seven and ten users
report that their conversations rarely ever like actually turned into
actual dates, which if you're then paying for that service
and you're not getting a date out of it, like
that would be so incredibly deflating. Also for the people
who were swipes swiping, putting in so much energy not
getting the matches or not getting any conversations, like what
that does to your self esteem.
Speaker 1 (09:13):
But there's also a second part of this.
Speaker 2 (09:15):
I think on one hand, we can talk about people
moving away from the abs and how people are trying
to meet in real life and blah blah blah, But
I also think that there is a massive push now
of people who are choosing to be single and not
out of loneliness, not because it's a last resort, but
because they actually are very happy in being single. And
I think for so long we looked at being single
(09:36):
as like this purgatory between when your next relationship was
going to come around. But there's some really interesting information
that's come out. The Culture Cut did a census and
they predicted that by twenty thirty, nearly half of women
age twenty five to forty four are expected to be.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
Single and child free.
Speaker 2 (09:52):
And that's not because they aren't able to find a.
Speaker 1 (09:55):
Person to settle down with. That is by choice.
Speaker 2 (09:58):
There's three main reasons women are prioritizing their personal growth,
their own financial freedom. They're also choosing careers over relationships,
and also that the divorce rates arising and a lot
of people are not getting remarried after their first failed relationship.
Speaker 1 (10:12):
This doesn't surprise me at all when you think of
the reason a lot of people used to have to
get married. And we're getting into a whole other conversation here,
but a lot of women had to get married for
financial security. You know, we didn't have the education that
we have now, or the opportunities to progress in a career,
or to focus on a career, or to choose a career.
We're also told that like you got married and you
had kids. It's different now, like financial independence means everything,
(10:34):
and so many more women are realizing that they don't
have to rely on anyone, and in fact, they're happier.
You can be far happier on your own. Some of
the best years of my life, and like, obviously I'm
married now. I loved being single, like not having the responsibility,
not owing anything to anyone, doing whatever you wanted to do.
Speaker 2 (10:53):
Yeah, but I think that that's such a hard thing
for a lot of people to realize because for so long,
and it's a lot of like undoing, right, Like for
so long we've been told that you get into a relationship,
you have children, you get married, Like that's kind of
what that's the ultimate goal is like to be in
a good, healthy relationship. And you know, I even see
it in my in my mother in law, Ellie, she's
(11:13):
been single for a really long time. She's so content,
she's so happy, and she still sometimes has to say, like,
you know, people always assimilate being on your own with
potentially being lonely or missing companionship, and she's like, my
life has never been more stress free than what it
has been since I've been single. And she embraced that
after you know, her divorce. And I think a lot
(11:35):
of people have realized that that actually, you know, you
can be single and be completely content.
Speaker 1 (11:38):
It doesn't equate to loneliness. Yeah, and people realize they
don't have to have kids anymore, so they don't have
to find the spouse to have this see twenty thirty.
Speaker 2 (11:46):
Population decline is apparently incoming, Laura.
Speaker 1 (11:50):
Last week I came across some pretty big information and
I haven't been able to get out of my mind.
Like I have not stopped thinking about it. It is
living rent free. I am beside myself with happiness for
this person. The problem is it's a person that I
don't know, but I have this like weird parasocial relationship
with them. So hear me out. The biggest crush of
(12:10):
my life is Jennifer Aniston.
Speaker 2 (12:13):
If I thought it was the guy from Outlander, Sam Hwan, Yeah,
you've got to stop talking about him though now because
it's a bit more accessible.
Speaker 1 (12:19):
I think Brits let into his DMS. We were going
to go on a date once. I can't actually talk
about it, Jennifer Anison.
Speaker 2 (12:25):
That wasn't Enny on my bingo cards for Annison to me,
I don't know what it is.
Speaker 1 (12:29):
She's the apple of my eye. I've just had a
crush on her forever. If I could come back in
this world and be someone, I feel like I'd want
to be her. I loved her in everything that she's in.
I think she seems like a really wonderful person from
what she puts forward to the world.
Speaker 2 (12:42):
I did not pick you as like, how have I
known you for six years and didn't know that you
were a closet Jennifer Addison Fairt.
Speaker 1 (12:49):
I've definitely said it before. I think you've checked out. No,
I love her. I knew you liked her. I didn't
realize you with this far up rally. I also just
think she's beautiful. I think she's so funny. She seems
really nice. But I think a big part of it,
to be honest, I think I connected with her a
lot over the years because she's had a horrific dating life.
Like I know, she has been through the Ringer and
I went I don't like to pick sides, but when
(13:11):
it was Jen and Angelina, I was always tim Jen. Okay.
Speaker 2 (13:14):
I always thought about this because, like, remember when Mister
and Missus Smith was a thing, so cast your mind's back.
That was when Brad went and he filmed the movie
Mister and Missus Smith with Angelina Jolie, and that's when
their affair started, allegedly. I'm sure neither of them are
getting to come and sue me if I say the
wrong bed.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
I don't know they are suing each other.
Speaker 2 (13:31):
But imagine your husband having an affair with who was
quoted as the hottest woman in the world at the time.
Speaker 1 (13:38):
I wouldn't let him film the movie.
Speaker 2 (13:39):
And everyone saying that they ship that relationship like you're
you're married in real life and the public are saying, oh,
you should leave your wife and go be with Angelina Jolie, And.
Speaker 4 (13:48):
He did, and I just thought yes, And I just
thought she's always from not just that situation, but she
was with John Mayer, she was with Vinceborn Thaughty Boys.
But I've always thought she held herself with such class
like in that breakup. I cannot imagine what it would
be like for the world to have shipped Angelina and
Brad when it was your literal husband, it was very
(14:08):
obviously an affair.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
She was always so quiet and just like, I don't know.
She always took the high road, and I had a
lot of respect for her. But she's just come out
that she's in a new relationship, and she hasn't been
in a relationship in ages, and she's been spotted with
this new man, and I'm just like so happy for her.
It was weird. I felt like I could have cried
with her happiness, because she looks really happy. Hear me out.
He's an author, speaker and coach. His name is Jim Curtis.
(14:31):
I know, I just I just here for it. Let
me just talk about my happiness. Please tell me more
about it. What else did he do? Well? Did you
look at his Wikipedia page? This is why it's interesting.
This is why I think it's funny, because I am
slightly concerned for her. He's a hypnotherapist, a neuro linguistic
programming practitioner. Well, has he hypnotized her into this? This
(14:53):
is like somebody sent help to her. Is she truly happy?
Or has he hypnotized her and trickter into relationship?
Speaker 2 (14:59):
Britt I think your concern for Jennifer Aniston has territory
where it's a little bit straight.
Speaker 1 (15:04):
But in all seriousness, can I show you him. He's
like a daddy, he's hot. Have a look.
Speaker 2 (15:09):
Yeah, he's nice, he's a beautiful he can hypnotize me anytime.
Speaker 1 (15:12):
Actually, that's not true. I've got a husband who I love,
who you fall asleep, who I fall asleep next to.
But I just think, like, I don't know. Parasocial relationships
are weird, Like there's a few people that you get
so invested with in life and then you have to
remind yourself that you don't actually know them.
Speaker 2 (15:25):
I don't think I have a parasocial relationship with anyone.
Speaker 1 (15:28):
You had one with Jason Momola. You were in a
relationship with him in your brain.
Speaker 2 (15:31):
No, I just thought he was hot and said I
would climb him like tree.
Speaker 1 (15:34):
But apart from that, No, I didn't. I didn't have
a relationship with you. I didn't know much about him.
I just I didn't know him. No, I didn't. I
clearly don't know him. I No, I don't think so.
Speaker 2 (15:43):
I don't think that there's anyone that I've really But
then again, you look at social media, for example, And
I think sometimes we follow people online, like there's definitely
other people who work in media or influencers who who
I've never met in real life, but I've met them online,
if that makes sense, Like, maybe that's my extent of
a parasocial relationship.
Speaker 1 (16:01):
Oh, you have full relationships with people online that you
have to remind yourself of We've never seen each other
in real life? Do you even know who I am?
Have we actually met?
Speaker 3 (16:08):
Like?
Speaker 1 (16:08):
Oh, do I just follow you online and know everything
about you?
Speaker 2 (16:11):
Which I think is now quite a weird phenomena because
back in the day, you'd have celebrities, you'd have movie stars,
and they were so inaccessible. The only time that you
got little bits of them was either through tabloid magazines
and most of the stuff was made up, or it
was because you've gone to see the movie that they're in.
Whereas now a lot of celebrities, and especially that middle
tier celebrity, share so much of their lives online and
(16:33):
they're also starring in films and everything else, and it's
like the accessibility to their life is what I think
makes people a bit obsessed with them.
Speaker 1 (16:40):
I would go so far as to say it's not
even the middle tier celebrities. Some of the biggest celebrities
in the world are like instagramming on selfies and stuff.
Speaker 2 (16:47):
Do you think that like a lot of them overshare.
I think it like it's justin Bieber's now. But then
a lot of massive celebrities don't need to be that
public because they've already got everything they need. They don't
need to share their entire lives because it's not a
bargaining chip for them.
Speaker 1 (16:59):
Yeah, you tell them, Laura. Anyway, that's it from us.
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