Laura is BACK for the last ever week of the Pick Up and she's brought baby Poppy with her. We chat about how things are going in her life with the addition of a third child, we chat to parenting expert Gen Muir about how to have important (and age-appropriate) conversations with your kids in the wake of tragedies like the Bondi Shooting and Britt is off to Italy for a European Christmas.
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Episode Transcript
Are you ready?
Speaker 2 (00:02):
Good pickup with Britt Hockley and Laura Burn.
Speaker 3 (00:05):
Baby, you're what our windows down?
Speaker 1 (00:08):
That's my world reason the dust only good, bab.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
Duggle down and don't much. But yeah I'm not. I'll
big get and what I want.
Speaker 4 (00:18):
It don't matter where radd This is the pickup.
Speaker 5 (00:22):
Hi, guys, it's the pickup with Britt Hockley and Laura Burn.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
And guess who's back.
Speaker 4 (00:26):
Baby?
Speaker 2 (00:27):
It's me? But also baby.
Speaker 5 (00:30):
I having eleven week old baby strapped to my chest
right now and I just came.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
In so hot. She was asleep and she did not
like that very much. Honestly, I got rid of you.
You were replaced with your.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
Husband, which is like the male version of you. Had
him for two and a half months, got rid of
him in your back. I feel like I just don't
even know if you've even left.
Speaker 2 (00:46):
I know, well, I'm back and I brought Poppy in.
Yeah yeah, bringing a baby into the studio is very
twenty twenty six, isn't it too fair? She's just asleep.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
She just banged her head on the mic and she
didn't wake up, So we're too.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
I did scream, we're back. I excited to have you back,
l I do have a question for you.
Speaker 5 (01:02):
How did Matt go filling in for the eleven weeks
or so?
Speaker 1 (01:06):
Well, there's the on air version and then I'll give
you the version of it.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
No, he was brilliant. He really is you as a
male his need producer grace. Yeah, very similar.
Speaker 1 (01:16):
He's just everything, even the way when he's finished with
a shit he does this, throws it to the ground
because that's what you do. And then every time he
bites a sandwich if we're eating, he's like, this is
the best drop of a heart, which is what you
say every single day. So it just really did feel
like you never left.
Speaker 5 (01:32):
Did He also complain about his pregnancy pains, because I
think that that's the only thing I spoke about.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
For the last nine months. He did what are they called?
He said there was fandom pain.
Speaker 5 (01:41):
Laura Burn Brittany, welcome back to the studio, I say,
welcome back.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
We've got two days left on air. You decided to
just float on in at the end.
Speaker 5 (01:49):
I just didn't want Look, I'll be honest, I've loved
doing this show for the last three years, and I
didn't want to end this year not being here.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
With my husband.
Speaker 5 (01:57):
I didn't want to have a fill in do what
we have done for so long together.
Speaker 1 (02:01):
Also, not just a feeling, it is your husband, manmay J.
He's been on air for you for two and a
bit months while you're a maternity lead.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
But we don't care about hear me. Also, he's been here.
Speaker 5 (02:10):
For too long that I was getting messages from some
people who were saying like, oh, he's doing such a
good job, why don't you take longer off?
Speaker 2 (02:15):
And I was like, I'm com back, And I was like,
I will not be replaced by my husband.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
I actually cannot risk this fill us in. I mean,
Poppy is here strapped to your chest right now? How's
it been going?
Speaker 5 (02:25):
What has it been like to add the third baby
to the family. I just sometimes I have these moments
like obviously at work now with a baby strapped to me,
and I was like, God, women really can do it all, Like, well.
Speaker 2 (02:34):
We don't have a choice, we don't want you. Actually
we have no childcare at the moment. Matt's also at work,
so no, I just have no choice.
Speaker 5 (02:42):
But yes baby here at radio. We have three kids now,
And if I'm honest with myself, I was petrified about
adding a third to the mix in terms of like
work and life, Like I'm very career ambitious and I
also love being a mum and trying to find the
balance between the two is really really challenging. I had
(03:03):
this moment and I wasn't being honest with myself, but
I was petrified about.
Speaker 2 (03:07):
How hard it was going to be.
Speaker 5 (03:09):
And I was petrified about whether I was going to
have postpartum depression, whether I was going to be, you know,
just really struggle with the baby blues.
Speaker 1 (03:17):
Or have a difficult baby, or not a sleeper all totally.
Speaker 5 (03:20):
And you know what too Poppy's credit she is and
I hate saying it for anyone who's in the trenches
of motherhood because I've been there and I know what
it's like. But she's a really good sleeper and she's
a really good eater, and we've just gotten like a
unicorn version of a baby. I prepared for the worst,
and it's been so healing for me because I you know,
I've had every version of what this can be, and
(03:41):
this has just been the calmest and most enjoyable experience
that you know. After I had her, I had this
moment where I was like, should we have a fourth,
and Matt was like, I am booking in for that
forseeconom me, I said, I never was going to have so.
Speaker 2 (03:54):
The only way that I can have a fourth is
if you.
Speaker 1 (03:57):
Are my sorry, oh my god, I'm going to marry
my child.
Speaker 2 (04:01):
But then you have to give it back when it's two.
I know that. No, I'm joking, guys. I know the
we're close and we love each other. You O care.
Speaker 5 (04:11):
But the thing I like least about being a mom
is the pregnancy partly, and I'm enjoying the postpartum period
more than I'm enjoying being pregnant.
Speaker 2 (04:19):
I hated being pregnant. I hated it.
Speaker 4 (04:21):
I know.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
Well, if anyone out there is sponants to be an
altruistics joke as a joke, guys, that's a joke. It's
so wonderful to have you back, and it's it's great
to know that this one has been an easy version
of some of I say, some of the ones you've
had in the past. I had fifty kids, but I
had difficulty with Lola.
Speaker 5 (04:38):
Yeah, and I was really really worried that Lola's my
middle child, and I was really worried that she just
would not adapt to being a big sister because she
is one hundred percent Mummy's girl.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
She gets jealous really easy.
Speaker 5 (04:50):
And she has very very big emotions in a very
tiny little body. And I think that that's also been
something that was just like really took me by surprise
with this whole thing, because she is the best big sister.
She has loved it so much, and she was furious
when she found out that I was pregnant.
Speaker 4 (05:10):
What mommy and daddy has.
Speaker 5 (05:11):
To tell you.
Speaker 4 (05:12):
I'll give you a clue. It's in mummy's Tommy. Yeah,
oh are you excited?
Speaker 5 (05:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:31):
She was so angry.
Speaker 5 (05:33):
And then since the second puppy's been born, she has
been utterly obsessed with her and it's just it's been
the sweetest thing to see.
Speaker 1 (05:40):
We love to see it. It's welcome back for the
last two days of the show.
Speaker 5 (05:44):
Look, we are having a very big gear shift in
terms of the show on the conversations that we're having today,
and it's one that is so important for Australians and
for parents across the country. As you all know, there
was a horrific terrorist attack in on Sunday night and
there's been a few days now for people to process.
(06:05):
But I think what is happening, and I know this
because it's happening in our household as well, is how
do you have that conversation with your kids?
Speaker 2 (06:12):
And how do you figure out what is an age.
Speaker 5 (06:16):
Appropriate conversation to have with children that protects them but
also gives them enough information so that they're not going
to school and finding out things or talking to their
friends and trying to piece this together without their support
of the parents.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
Yeah, and I can't.
Speaker 1 (06:31):
Imagine how much of a difficult conversation that is for parents,
because how do you find the middle ground. You can't
keep it from them completely because it will be out
there and other.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
Kids will be at school talking about it.
Speaker 5 (06:42):
Now, we are not experts on this, but we have
Jen Mura who's joining the show.
Speaker 3 (06:47):
Jen.
Speaker 2 (06:47):
She's been a part of the show before.
Speaker 5 (06:49):
We've spoken to her about whether or not you should
let your kids do sleepovers, and this is really a
conversation as to whether and how you navigate these really
difficult conversations with your kids. The perfect person to talk
about it, she's the author of Little People, Big Feelings.
Speaker 2 (07:03):
Jen. Welcome to the show.
Speaker 3 (07:05):
Hi guys, And it's good timing. You know, I had
this chat with my poor boys last night, and as
a parent and as a parent educator, I can tell
you know, I didn't feel super confident that I had
all the perfect words. It's the conversation that none of
us as parents ever want to be having.
Speaker 5 (07:22):
How do you figure out what age appropriate information looks like?
Speaker 3 (07:27):
The biggest thing that we can do as parents is
begin with curiosity. So what you might always start with
is asking your kids have they heard anything about what
happened at BONDI? Have they been talking about it at school?
You know, just checking in with what kids know, because
that gives you a really good sense of what they
already know and where they're already at, and it gives
(07:47):
you a really good launching in place to sort of
start and then what you want to do. And this
is so hard as parents. Keep it really honest and clear.
You want to be brief but reassuring, but you do
have to tell them facts. This is what happened, and
we want to reassure them that you know that the
police came, they caught the people, there's no more danger.
(08:08):
Those kind of things are what little kids need to know,
and for all the kids, you might need to hang
in there longer and really sort of talk about the
injustice of what happened to people who are celebrating Hunnaker.
Speaker 2 (08:19):
And where's the line?
Speaker 1 (08:21):
How do you know what is too much information to
give them?
Speaker 3 (08:25):
I think if you're clear and direct and you've got
lots of pausing with kids, that can take them up
to eleven seconds, which is a really long pause in
a conversation for them to process and look, are they
looking for more? Are they looking for comfort? Do they
look sad? Or are they kind of going to turn
to you and say what's for dinner? Because kids sometimes
don't necessarily respond in the moment they go yeah, okay, mom,
(08:45):
that's great, and it might be an hour later or
a week later they come back and they crawl onto
your lap and say, I'm feeling worried about you know,
this thing we talked about. And so it's knowing that
this is an ongoing conversation where we're trying to say
to our kids, any emotion that you do have about
this is normal and the door is still open. You
can keep coming back to me, we can keep talking
(09:07):
about this and there's no silly questions.
Speaker 5 (09:09):
I think they're really hard. Thing as well is for
kids that are at that sort of teenager age. And
I know the laws are changing now with social media,
but so many kids are seeing stuff on social media
and it's almost the aftercare, like, how do you have
the conversation then once they've seen things that may have
gone beyond what was age appropriate for them to see.
Speaker 3 (09:30):
Yeah, absolutely, and so we need to be having those
direct conversations. And as you say, even if kids don't
have a Snapchat account anymore, they still can get on
to social media and see some of that really violent
footage and once they've seen that, they can't unsee it.
So it's really coming in and coming alongside our kids,
maybe in the car you're side by side and saying, hey,
(09:52):
you know, have you seen any footage of what happened?
And how did that make you feel? That might have
been a really hard thing to see. We can't protect
our kids from re emotion, but what we can do
is make sure that they are not alone in those
emotions and they know that it doesn't matter what it is,
they can always come to us. We'll always be there
alongside the minute.
Speaker 2 (10:10):
Jen, thank you so much for coming and joining the show.
Speaker 5 (10:12):
I know that there are so many parents across Australia
who are really grappling with these big conversations with their
kids at the moment and having tools to know what
is the right thing to say or the wrong thing
to say. It's just so I mean, it's going to
be so helpful for so many people.
Speaker 3 (10:27):
The biggest thing I'd want parents to know is that
there is no wronger right, and the biggest thing we
can do is just sort of come in, be clumsy,
give it a go and focus on some of those
good stories of the doctors and the lifeguards because that
can help our kids.
Speaker 2 (10:41):
So much as well.
Speaker 5 (10:42):
If you do want to get Gen's book, it is
called Little People, Big Feelings.
Speaker 2 (10:47):
It is very exciting times.
Speaker 1 (10:48):
I am about to head over to Italy for Christmas.
Do you know what, since I've met my husband Ben,
because he's Swiss and lives in Europe, I haven't had
an Aussie Chrismas in four years.
Speaker 5 (11:01):
But to your parents have been over there and thank
Christmas over there as well, because like that's one of
those things where when you get into a relationship with
someone who's either in another country and in another state,
you've got to work out what's the balance so that
you both get to do Christmas with each other's families.
Speaker 2 (11:14):
But you've just got a whole hog. Yeah, you know what.
Speaker 1 (11:17):
I think if we had more freedom, Ben and I
we would alternate years and he would come to Australia.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
But he never gets a Christmas off. He's playfootball.
Speaker 1 (11:24):
They literally play Christmas Day sometimes, so I always have
to go there. But it was really nice. I've had
my family come over, I've had my friends. But the
interesting thing is it's so different. And I don't just
mean like obviously there's like a thirty degree temperature difference.
Speaker 2 (11:38):
It is freezing over there.
Speaker 1 (11:40):
But it's been a real ride to try and get
my head around how they do Christmas.
Speaker 2 (11:43):
And I'll never forget last year.
Speaker 1 (11:45):
It was the first Christmas I spent with Ben's family
in Switzerland. Now in Australia, I just chill. I'm cruisy,
Like I mean all Australians. I think we're very laid back.
You got double pluggers on, you're at the beach, You're
you're having a barbie or the seafood and things like that.
Speaker 5 (12:01):
Well don't you remember I was just looking it up.
Don't you remember the Ossie jingle bells, which is like
in a holden rusty use. I mean, we have a
very different version of what Christmas feels like here.
Speaker 1 (12:10):
We're so relaxed and so Christmas Day last year at
Ben's family, I knew that we were having this dinner
lunch at his house and it was supposed to be
like some family friends coming over. Anyway, I had gone
to get to get ready and I came out and
I just had my flats on and peer of jans
on and T shirt and I looked nice, but I
was like, we're eating at home.
Speaker 2 (12:30):
Are you chrissy cash? Just well, I looked great, but
it was a T shirt and jeans.
Speaker 1 (12:34):
And I walked out and Ben's sister, who I love,
she's Swiss Swiss German, and she was dressed to the nines.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
And then she looked at me and she said, are
you already? Is that what you're wearing? And I said, oh,
absolutely not. I just have to put this on to
go out to the car to.
Speaker 1 (12:53):
Get my fancy dress dress. And she was like, oh
my god, thank god. And I walked away to Ben
and I was like, Ben, I don't the fancy fancy
dress dressed for Christmas?
Speaker 2 (13:01):
Like what you did not tell me?
Speaker 5 (13:03):
That this is.
Speaker 1 (13:03):
Formal, so who could be bothered? No, the whole thing
was so formal. I'm talking like more dressy than I
would ever wear to be dressed up, and I had
to wear my New Year's Eve outfit I had to go.
I was like, Ben, I don't have a dressings like
we have to I had was.
Speaker 2 (13:17):
Dressed in full sequence.
Speaker 1 (13:19):
I was pretty much I was dressed to the nines.
So they have like a really high end dressy meal.
And then the thing that I can't get my head
around is Christmas happens on the twenty fourth in Europe,
so Christmas Day is nothing. It's just an empty day,
like Santa comes the day before, presents with friends and family.
Speaker 2 (13:39):
And everything is the day before. Everything is celebrated on
the twenty fourth. But surely is that all.
Speaker 5 (13:43):
Families over there are getting super dressed up or is
that just Ben's family?
Speaker 2 (13:46):
Like, have you investigated this food?
Speaker 4 (13:48):
Well?
Speaker 1 (13:48):
I think it's it's a pretty because you don't go
outside because it's so cold, so they make a real
event of it.
Speaker 2 (13:52):
No, it's pretty standard, Like most.
Speaker 1 (13:54):
People get really dressed up and they have a really
big hot food like roasts and things.
Speaker 2 (13:58):
Like that, whereas we're like, I was weird.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
It's just weird when you've grown up at the beach
and you're very cash and you're having prawns and salads
and they're having like these full hot meals with mulled
wine and everything's warm.
Speaker 2 (14:09):
And egg dog.
Speaker 5 (14:10):
But also, I mean, it's it's just a completely different
version of what Christmas looks like. I know that there's
a lot of people who I either here as expats
and every year they're like, oh, Christmas doesn't feel that
Christmas ere. But on one hand, you're going to be
dressed in a disco ball and my kids are going
to be on a slip and slide totally like getting
some burdens, no fights. Yeah, it's a very different version.
Do you miss it though? When you're over there verse
(14:32):
being here?
Speaker 1 (14:33):
I miss my family because here for us, when you're
growing up in Australia, if you think about every Christmas
movie that you've grown up with, it's winter, right, Christmas
is always in the snow, and it's they don't ever
have hot Christmases. You was never Christmas in Hawaii until
we had an Australian Christmas, so that I finally feel
like I'm living out the movie dreams like what I mean,
I have my mulled wine next to the fire and
(14:54):
the snow twinkling down, and I'm under.
Speaker 2 (14:56):
The mistletoe, like I mean, that might my fantasy.
Speaker 1 (14:58):
But anyway, that's that's where I'm off to and I
absolutely can't wait.
Speaker 5 (15:02):
Well, I'm just glad that you guys get to see
each other because you've literally got married six months ago,
and I.
Speaker 2 (15:07):
Forget what it looks like. Anyway, guys, look, that is
it from us.
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